These hilarious Joe moments will have you in stitches. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the times that Joe Swanson stood out on “Family Guy.”
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00:00Welcome to WatchMojo. And today we're counting down our picks for the times that Joe Swanson
00:10stood out on Family Guy. 10. Joe Needs a Change
00:20It's no secret that Joe Swanson is in a wheelchair. As a result, when Joe needs to
00:25use the washroom, it's a little different. No one is judging, of course, but Joe doesn't need to be
00:31anywhere near so weird about it. I don't see you getting away with this one. When the guy decides
00:36to go on a road trip, Joe reveals that one of them has to be in charge of his diaper changes,
00:42and he has selected Quagmire. Oh, I forgot to mention, one of you guys has to be in charge
00:46of changing my diaper the whole trip. Whenever a change is necessary, Joe says he will make
00:52direct eye contact and say, I've got poopies. Quagmire is understandably weirded out,
00:59especially when Joe accompanies the phrase with a delicate face touch.
01:049. Forklift Flasher Joe wants nothing more than to walk again,
01:09and any chance he gets to simulate it is taken enthusiastically. When Peter gets a forklift,
01:15opportunity presents itself. Well, so that's what the tops of cars look like. Hoisting Joe up to his
01:21actual height, Peter drives on the sidewalk, allowing his buddy to feel normal, and oddly be
01:27regarded as such by at least one passerby. Afternoon, ma'am. Afternoon to you, normal sir.
01:33No one can tell. However, this doesn't last long. As much to Joe's obliviousness, his pants fall off.
01:41His friends let him bask in the moment, despite the indecent exposure.
01:46Can we tell him his pants fell off? No, let's wait a while.
01:48So, are they good friends or not? It's the old friendship slash genitalia conundrum.
01:54Should you tell a buddy he's flashing everyone if it ruins his contentment?
01:598. Halloween Hijinks Halloween is fun.
02:04Every year, Peter and his buddies choose one unfortunate soul amongst themselves to be the
02:09target of pranks for the day. Think Halloween heist, but highly inappropriate and severely hazardous
02:14to one's health. It's Quagmire's turn, and the guys take advantage of his rampant promiscuity.
02:26However, upon waking, Quags realizes he didn't spend the night with a lovely lady, but with an obvious
02:33Joe in a wig. Joe enthusiastically points out that he didn't feel a thing, but Quagmire sure did.
02:46I didn't feel anything, but you did. Hilarious or conflictingly disturbing? That's for you to decide.
02:537. Bonnie's Labor Pains
02:57Through the magic of cartoons, Bonnie Swanson inexplicably spent six entire seasons pregnant.
03:04Bonnie, we got a problem. What's the matter, Joe? I'll tell you while we're doing the diaper change.
03:09Early into season 7, little Susie Swanson was finally born. Everyone is gathered in the room for the
03:15birth of Susie. Oddly and unhygienically enough, Joe shows his usual colors, shouting at the infant to
03:23get the hell out of his wife. That's so Joe. But before the baby can be born, since Joe is,
03:32well, Joe, Bonnie must first birth a small wheelchair.
03:35Hold on, the wheelchair is coming first.
03:38We all know this to be medically accurate, of course. It's unfortunately a slightly more
03:44painful labor process, but it must be done.
03:476. Freaky Joe Day
03:50When his estranged father, Bud, comes to town, a terrified Joe decides to swap places with Peter.
03:56Bud has no idea about his son's accident, and Joe recalls him constantly mocking people with
04:01disabilities. This works with Bud Swanson not realizing his son no longer has a deep voice
04:18and overly chiseled jaw. He even unknowingly mocks his actual son, as he believes he is Peter,
04:25glasses and all.
04:26Oh, this will be fun. Let's see how long it takes him to get Gumby over there into the car.
04:31Eventually, in a Clark Kent moment, Joe removes the glasses and his father suddenly recognizes him.
04:38Yes. Yes, Dad. It's me.
04:43It's actually kind of a serious situation. Joe does everything he can to avoid being rejected by his
04:49father.
04:50You always made fun of handicapped people. The only thing I never understood was...
04:55Why? I don't know. I guess I could never stand the thought of something like that happening to me,
05:00or even worse, with someone that I care about.
05:03He also learns from this episode that Joe definitely got his looks from his mother.
05:085. Paralysis Blues
05:11We are frequently reminded of Joe Swanson's wheelchair. It's almost reminiscent of They Killed
05:16Kenny at this point, albeit less lethal. There are a ton of examples, but let's stick to one episode.
05:24In the Season 7 episode, Three Kings, the show pays tribute to author Stephen King,
05:29retelling three of his most popular stories.
05:31Oh my god, Stephen King!
05:37Hey, this would make a neat story!
05:38The first, awesomely re-narrated by Richard Dreyfuss, is Stand By Me. The famous bridge scene sees Joe's legs get crushed by two trains.
05:47The second, Misery, features Joe as the sheriff whose legs get shot off by Stewie Wilkes, Paul Sheldon's number one fan.
06:02Mr. Sheldon? Oh my god, I'm saved!
06:07Thirdly, in Shawshank Redemption, Joe gets his comeuppance from the warden after repeatedly intimidating Peter.
06:14Two things never happened again after that. Boggs never walked again, and Andy's farts never made a sound again.
06:224. Joe's hopes are dashed Joe gets a lot of negativity, and could definitely use the occasional compliment.
06:33There's an episode where Stewie is holding the Griffins hostage. It's a long story.
06:38When Joe knocks at the door out of concern, Brian answers with a weapon-wielding Stewie hiding out of sight.
06:44The baby instructs the dog to tell Joe everything is fine, and also to both mock and compliment him.
06:50Everything's fine. Oh, okay, good.
06:53Make fun of his wheelchair.
06:54What?
06:54What?
06:55Do it! Say, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair.
06:57Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, you're in a wheelchair.
07:00Brian tells Joe he's handsome, then quickly goes back on his word, leaving Joe dejected, saying he needed that boost.
07:08Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, just kidding about the handsome thing.
07:10Ah, well, that's disappointing. I needed that boost today.
07:15Joe does agree with the comment regarding his mother's rear end, however.
07:19That's not very nice, Brian.
07:20Neither is your mother's ass.
07:22Neither is your mother's ass.
07:23Well, I'll give you that one.
07:263. The Briggs Problem
07:28Joe wasn't always in a wheelchair, though he definitely acts that way.
07:33While working undercover in the late 1990s, Joe was critically injured by the drug kingpin
07:38he was attempting to bring down, Bobby Briggs.
07:41You kill a cop, they'll put you away forever.
07:44Then get ready to spend the rest of your life as a lame
07:47gimp with an annoying-voiced wife.
07:49He'd met Bonnie.
07:50He had previously told his friends he was paralyzed after a fight with the Grinch on top
07:55of an orphanage at Christmastime, which was shockingly a lie.
07:59You think you have won, you think all is well, but kiss my green ass, I shall see you in hell.
08:12When Briggs escapes custody, Peter and the gang help Joe find the criminal and get his long-awaited
08:17revenge. Though he only intends to do the whole eye-for-an-eye thing, Joe accidentally ends Briggs' life.
08:24But I'm not gonna kill you. I'm not an animal like you.
08:28So what are you gonna do, arrest me?
08:30No, I don't arrest cripples.
08:32But it's okay. They can just shove his body across the border.
08:36Crap, he's dead. I think he bled out. I must have hit the femoral artery.
08:40Ah, just kick him into Mexico.
08:43Number 2. Joe's Got Legs
08:46Joe's affliction is unfortunate, but a season 6 episode proved that he is completely insufferable
08:52when he has functional legs. After an experimental surgery provides Joe with healthy limbs,
08:57he drives his friends completely insane with his arrogance and activity roster.
09:02Oh, this is great. I feel so alive. Come on, ladies. Kick your high heels off and get moving. You guys are a disgrace.
09:09The highlight of this roster is definitely the recreation of the good morning scene from the classic singing in the rain.
09:15Good morning. Good morning. It's great to stay up late. Good morning. Good morning to you.
09:23Peter and the guys realize the only way to get things back to normal is to restore the status quo.
09:29But the plan doesn't quite go so well. In the end, Bonnie takes the matter into her own hands,
09:35albeit with a few misfires.
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09:58Number 1. Four Friends in Niagara Falls
10:01Let's get a little more serious for this number one spot. Despite everything, Joe has feelings too.
10:08In a season 13 episode, Joe watches as Peter rescues a child from a billboard display.
10:14This causes Mr. Swanson to contemplate his life, coming to the conclusion that he hasn't,
10:19nor will he ever achieve anything. Joe, what are you doing? You can't quit your job.
10:24Well, that's the other thing, Bonnie. You and I are done to. What? Eventually, the guys take a trip to
10:30Niagara Falls under the guise of Joe wanting to experience the wondrous sights. He has other plans,
10:36however, and attempts to throw himself into the falls. It's the most magnificent place in the world
10:42and the greatest place to end it all. The guys stop him more than once. Eventually,
10:48shenanigans ensue and Joe rescues Peter, Cleveland, and Quagmire from watery devises.
10:54Joe, that was amazing. You saved us. Despite his occasional missteps,
11:00sorry, bad pun, Joe is a good friend to have. What's your favorite Swanson moment? Let us know
11:07in the comments. Not your average Joe, and also he can walk.
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