Alun Armstrong
Paul Freeman
Paul Freeman
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00How many can we get a hold of them?
00:00:08Well, we need to move on to the moment how you can get the better.
00:00:11OK, then, yeah.
00:00:12How you doing?
00:00:13You all right?
00:00:14All right.
00:00:15All right.
00:00:17Yeah, all right.
00:00:18You just beat us up.
00:00:19All right.
00:00:20Hey, Ray.
00:00:21How are you doing, Ray?
00:00:22All right.
00:00:23Good after yourself.
00:00:24Ray, I was about to send out a search party.
00:00:26Yeah, I'm picking your dear granddaughter up from her belly lessons.
00:00:28Dropped her off at her mums.
00:00:30Where's Billy One Punch?
00:00:31Looks like he's been knocking one out.
00:00:33How's he feeling?
00:00:35Yeah, he's all right.
00:00:36Billy!
00:00:38He washed his hands.
00:00:40He's getting double naughty out there.
00:00:42There's old Bill all the way down from the roundabout.
00:00:44Oh, come on.
00:00:48Let's go.
00:00:58Hey, Ray, we should be asleep.
00:01:02Cool...
00:01:04Come on!
00:01:07Hey.
00:01:20Hey.
00:01:22Hey, we should be the front man here.
00:01:29No-one knows who we are these days.
00:01:31You're having a laugh.
00:01:33We're the staff of legends.
00:01:34I haven't been for years.
00:01:36How are you feeling?
00:01:37Don't know, you know?
00:01:38All right.
00:01:39Don't feel as if I'm on my way out.
00:01:41What the hell are we doing here, Billy?
00:01:43We're faces, Ray.
00:01:45Keep up, Tom.
00:01:52Come on, come on!
00:02:00Come on, boys!
00:02:03Come on, boys!
00:02:05Come on!
00:02:06Come on!
00:02:10Come on!
00:02:22Come on!
00:02:23Come on!
00:02:24Come on!
00:02:25Come on!
00:02:26Come on!
00:02:27Come on!
00:02:28Come on!
00:02:29Come on!
00:02:30Come on!
00:02:31Come on!
00:02:32Come on!
00:02:33Come on!
00:02:34Come on!
00:02:36Come on!
00:02:37Come on!
00:02:38Come on!
00:02:39Come on!
00:02:40Come on!
00:02:41Come on!
00:02:42Come on!
00:02:43Come on!
00:02:44Come on!
00:02:45Come on!
00:02:46Come on!
00:02:47Come on!
00:02:48Come on!
00:02:49Come on!
00:02:50Come on!
00:02:51Hey, hey, hey, hey, mess them up in the market and block them off there.
00:03:07Don't fight.
00:03:09We can take a little stroll down the two pick off the stragglers.
00:03:11It ain't gonna happen.
00:03:13Look at the old building all over.
00:03:18I might head back as it goes.
00:03:19What? I've had a game.
00:03:22They never come and watch me.
00:03:23Saw ponies since Sky took over.
00:03:25I'm with Remondo.
00:03:26I'll tell you what.
00:03:28Don't fuck I retired from all this malarkey.
00:03:30Come on, you old kids.
00:03:31Why don't you come back down the steps, Mr. Bryant?
00:03:35Why don't you come back down the steps, Mr. Bryant?
00:03:59Why don't you come back down the steps, Mr. Bryant?
00:04:01Because today's the day.
00:04:05Today's the day.
00:04:08Today is the day.
00:04:11Today is the day.
00:04:11I thought I knew it wouldn't happen.
00:04:32I knew we wouldn't get it on.
00:04:34Yeah, well, the old people have got it sewn up these days, haven't they?
00:04:37We should have left it a, what, a glorious memory.
00:04:43We should have.
00:04:45You're not eating their sausage?
00:04:47Yes, I am eating their sausage.
00:04:48I mean, five bits of fruit and veg a day.
00:04:52What's all that about, eh?
00:04:54Living longer, you're numpty.
00:04:57Yeah, well, like, no offence, Bill.
00:05:01That's what my grin keeps telling me.
00:05:04She's forever forced feeding me broccoli.
00:05:06You should look after your diet.
00:05:08Well, shit, pure Bailey's as it is, right?
00:05:10Fruit and veg listening me up.
00:05:12I don't know about you, but today weren't like me old days.
00:05:18I felt more like the sealed knot.
00:05:20What's the sealed knot?
00:05:22They reenact the old battles.
00:05:24Oh, what, and just, that was Vikings, isn't it?
00:05:26Seen of over in the forest.
00:05:28Bunch of tarts, me twetting.
00:05:30Oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:05:31Not while I'm munching.
00:05:32Christ on a bike.
00:05:34What?
00:05:34Nothing.
00:05:36It's just a few years ago, we were toe-to-toe fighting with northern mankeys after a shedload of
00:05:42Colombian, and now we can't even have an oily.
00:05:44Yeah, it was all wank, though, really, wasn't it?
00:05:46They were good days.
00:05:48I don't care what anybody says.
00:05:51You got your sherbet here, eh?
00:05:54Good, don't mind if I do.
00:05:55Lift home.
00:05:56Don't put the meter on.
00:05:58I'm your best mate, and you love me.
00:06:02It's eight years since we buried Janie.
00:06:05That's why you're feeling a bit nuftry.
00:06:10No, I'm not feeling anything.
00:06:14You put a right damn squib on the proceedings.
00:06:17Have me sausage, then.
00:06:19Lovely.
00:06:20Hey, get off.
00:06:22Hey, get off.
00:06:52I know.
00:06:58What do you know?
00:07:00The boys are filing into assembly.
00:07:03I'll make sure this trunk sent on to your father's house today.
00:07:06I ordered you a taxi for the airport.
00:07:08And I found this.
00:07:14I thought you might...
00:07:14It was in the archive room, in a box, getting dusty.
00:07:20I put it in a frame.
00:07:23Just a cheap frame.
00:07:24So...
00:07:28Got everything?
00:07:31One bag will travel.
00:07:34You must come back and tell the boys all about it.
00:07:38Everything's going to be fine.
00:07:39Make a list.
00:07:44What do you mean?
00:07:46Like you're always telling the boys.
00:07:49Make a list of all the things you want to do.
00:07:51Oh, I'll miss you.
00:08:03I'll miss you.
00:08:03And finally, today is a special day.
00:08:16A special day for school.
00:08:17A special day for a much-loved master.
00:08:21It is his last day with us.
00:08:23He has reached the ripe old age of 65.
00:08:26And it is my onerous duty to bid a fond farewell to Mr. Bryant,
00:08:31who has quite literally been with us all his life.
00:08:41Come on up, Mr. Bryant.
00:08:43Or as he's better known, Beaky.
00:08:45Beaky started out here as an eight-year-old lad at the end of the war,
00:08:54stayed on as assistant latin master and forgot to leave.
00:08:58Mr. Bryant's been a loyal servant to this school.
00:09:02No, seriously, Beaky.
00:09:03Would that we could all feel as satisfied at the end of our working lives
00:09:07as you must today.
00:09:10And I have a small token of our appreciation.
00:09:15We weren't certain of the sartorial code in Botswana,
00:09:29but we thought, well, we couldn't go far wrong with a safari jacket.
00:09:37So, thank you.
00:09:38Well, boys,
00:09:49it'll feel odd
00:09:52getting up in the mornings
00:09:55and not coming into hall
00:09:58for assembly.
00:10:00This little place
00:10:06has been
00:10:09my entire world
00:10:11for so many years now.
00:10:36Oh, yeah, sorry.
00:11:00Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm Heathrow.
00:11:06Actually, could you drop me off at the Carwell Clinic, please?
00:11:32What, you don't want to go to the airport?
00:11:34No, thanks.
00:11:35Yes, is that OK?
00:11:38Because it'll have to be, won't it?
00:11:40Sorry for any...
00:11:42I'll look it up for the grandchildren tonight, sir.
00:11:45I'll pay you what I should have paid you for the airport.
00:11:51Don't worry about it.
00:11:52The Carwell, yeah?
00:11:54Today, the Carwell.
00:11:57Tomorrow, the world.
00:11:58Can't wait, thanks.
00:12:11Thanks very much.
00:12:12Congratulations.
00:12:18We ASHC род over a while basically...
00:12:24...
00:12:24Has's it ever heard?
00:12:26Oh, my God.
00:12:30Now.
00:12:31Say this.
00:12:31adura.
00:12:31Hello?
00:12:32Next door.
00:12:33communanny.
00:12:33That is,
00:12:34I'm sorry.
00:12:34I was somebody picked up a plug as a dream요 for 13 years.
00:12:36Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:13:06Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:13:36Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:14:06Go, go, go, go, go, go.
00:14:08Harvey.
00:14:10What do you mean by that?
00:14:12Nothing.
00:14:14So how was your sleepover, Adam?
00:14:16Yeah, it was all right.
00:14:17He's really only able to do it on a Saturday.
00:14:19What's that then?
00:14:20Sleepovers.
00:14:21The amount of prep he gets during the week.
00:14:23Poorly old bugger.
00:14:25He loves it, don't you, Adam?
00:14:27Yeah, sometimes.
00:14:28It's all been worthwhile, hasn't it, eh?
00:14:30What's that little expression your teacher says?
00:14:32Reasons at seed.
00:14:34Exactly.
00:14:35And that little maxim hasn't done you any harm, has it?
00:14:37You know what I mean?
00:14:38My little Adam's always got his nose in a book.
00:14:40I know how Kelly's in the middle of the room, Kelly.
00:14:42The B team, Dad.
00:14:44Yeah, yeah, but you're on a watch set, aren't you?
00:14:47Center.
00:14:48Yeah.
00:14:49Well, that's good, is it?
00:14:51Yeah, that's really good.
00:14:52Is that good?
00:14:53I was a center, Kelly.
00:14:57I haven't seen the world.
00:15:01I've never been on a plane that isn't heading to Spain.
00:15:09Does anybody want me to make some more gravy?
00:15:12It's a bit waltzy, Dad.
00:15:13Oi, be quiet.
00:15:14It's lovely, Dad.
00:15:18What, I'm not allowed an opinion about the gravy now?
00:15:20No, not today, you're not.
00:15:25Is he all right?
00:15:37I'm sorry, Dad.
00:15:39What?
00:15:40OK, so he's got a bit more money than us, but the way he looks down his nose...
00:15:44Who?
00:15:45And can you honestly tell me that my kids wouldn't have done as well as Adam if we'd paid?
00:15:48I'd quite like mine to have piano lessons, French tunes...
00:15:51Yours are lovely.
00:15:52And they've got everything.
00:15:53Because they've got a lovely mum.
00:15:58I'm sorry, I don't want to spoil your day, Dad.
00:16:00You're not spoiling my day, am he, daft?
00:16:03Do you miss her, Dad?
00:16:04Yes, mate.
00:16:06New jacket?
00:16:07He has.
00:16:08It's not mine.
00:16:09Has he ever given you anything for running Adam here, there and everywhere?
00:16:10I don't want anything.
00:16:11I like picking him up and that.
00:16:12You've got a tea-tail, Dad.
00:16:13Jordan spook his coat everywhere.
00:16:14Jordan spook his coat everywhere.
00:16:15Well, I'd better clear it up then, I don't know.
00:16:16When you say everywhere, what do you mean?
00:16:17The floor, the carpets and the...
00:16:18Everywhere, all over himself.
00:16:19That's not everywhere.
00:16:20It's not everywhere.
00:16:21It's everywhere.
00:16:22It's everywhere.
00:16:23It's everywhere.
00:16:24It's everywhere.
00:16:25It's everywhere.
00:16:26It's everywhere.
00:16:27It's everywhere.
00:16:28It's everywhere.
00:16:29It's everywhere.
00:16:30It's everywhere.
00:16:31It's everywhere.
00:16:32I don't want anything.
00:16:33I like picking him up and that.
00:16:34You've got a tea-tail, Dad.
00:16:35Jordan spook his coat everywhere.
00:16:36Well, I'd better clear it up then, I don't know.
00:16:37When you say everywhere, what do you mean?
00:16:38The floor, the carpets and the...
00:16:39Everywhere.
00:16:40All over himself.
00:16:41That's not everywhere, then, is it?
00:16:42What's she got the arse-ache about, eh?
00:16:44Give me a pie of it, darling.
00:16:45Just eat what you can.
00:16:46I don't want it.
00:16:47I don't want it.
00:16:48I don't want it.
00:16:49I don't want it.
00:16:50I don't want it.
00:16:51I don't want it.
00:16:52I don't want it.
00:16:53Mmm.
00:16:57Right.
00:16:58Listen up, everybody.
00:17:01We've got an announcement to make.
00:17:03An announcement?
00:17:04What's that, then?
00:17:10We're having another baby.
00:17:13Bloody hell.
00:17:15Four.
00:17:16Congratulations, darling.
00:17:18Thanks, nurse.
00:17:20Four.
00:17:22We always wanted a big family.
00:17:24Where's it going to sleep, babe?
00:17:25I'm going to make some bunks.
00:17:27Bunks?
00:17:28We've been blessed with another baby, and you're concerning yourself with sleeping arrangements.
00:17:32Oh, I wish I've got some shampoo in the cupboard.
00:17:34Never mind.
00:17:35Good on you.
00:17:36Well done, cheers, Ray.
00:17:37Well, while we're on the subject of announcements...
00:17:39You're not up-a-duff as well, are you?
00:17:41We only wanted one.
00:17:43Tell them, Ray.
00:17:45Well, um...
00:17:47He's got into Harrow.
00:17:50What do you mean?
00:17:52Adam's won a place at Harrow Public School.
00:17:57When you say won a place, does that mean you don't have to pay?
00:18:00Oh, no.
00:18:01We've still got to pay.
00:18:02Oh.
00:18:03Old in school?
00:18:04I mean, come back and write, little toff.
00:18:06Well, that's all right.
00:18:07Isn't it, Ray?
00:18:12Double celebration.
00:18:13I'll go get some wine from the fridge.
00:18:29I hope it's a go.
00:18:31Oh, that would be nice, eh?
00:18:33I've still got your old cot up in my loft.
00:18:36I'm the only girl in my class who has to share her bedroom with her brothers.
00:18:40Does this label look all right?
00:18:42It's only a £2.99 bottle, but it looks more.
00:18:46I'd love my own bedroom.
00:18:48Well, you'll have to wait and see.
00:18:51His mum says anything.
00:18:53About what?
00:18:54Swapping.
00:18:55Swapping what?
00:18:57Nothing.
00:19:00Well, only because you've got three bedrooms and you're just the one.
00:19:07Ain't mine a swap my houses?
00:19:16Let's go and celebrate, eh?
00:19:18Bye.
00:19:48Bye.
00:19:50Bye.
00:19:51Bye.
00:19:52Bye.
00:19:53Bye.
00:19:54Jade.
00:19:55I don't know.
00:20:25Good afternoon, sir.
00:20:34Yeah, all right.
00:20:36A fellow come in the other day, Mr Bryant.
00:20:38Who shall I say is asking for him?
00:20:40Oh, no. The thing is...
00:20:42Hello, Mr Bryant. You have a visitor.
00:20:45Uh, Mr...
00:20:46Oh, just Ray, the cabbie.
00:20:49Ray the cabbie.
00:20:53Room nine.
00:20:54Take the lift to the first floor. Turn right.
00:20:57Oh. Right then.
00:21:06Yeah, sorry, mate.
00:21:08Nothing to...
00:21:10It's just, uh, you left your jacket in the back of my cab.
00:21:14Yes.
00:21:15Sorry?
00:21:16I did.
00:21:18Shall I put it...
00:21:19Thank goodness for that.
00:21:24I thought you were going to be one of our no-visitors patients.
00:21:27Would you like a cup of tea, sir?
00:21:29I'm all right, as it goes.
00:21:30How's it feeling?
00:21:32Like someone smashed me in the face with a rather large house.
00:21:36It could get easier in time.
00:21:38That's what they said when my wife died.
00:21:40Anyway, I'm off to you. I'll see you, mate.
00:21:45Nice to see you again.
00:21:46Who are you?
00:21:47Sit down.
00:21:50Lovely.
00:21:51Now, you two have a nice chat,
00:21:53and I'll pop back with some biscuits.
00:21:54I think there's some kind of patient's notice board
00:22:01in the nurse's station.
00:22:03And if you get a lonely tag, they plague you.
00:22:06Yeah.
00:22:07Never leave you alone.
00:22:09Forever coming in with cups of tea.
00:22:15I'll be off.
00:22:16Yes, before she gets back.
00:22:18Yeah.
00:22:24That's more than Silas trouble.
00:22:27I've been called Beaky for half a century,
00:22:30so I thought I'd, you know.
00:22:33Oh, a nose job.
00:22:35Good for you.
00:22:36They say it'll look worse before it looks better.
00:22:39Well, let's hope so, eh?
00:22:40You're looking all right, old two and eight.
00:22:43No offence.
00:22:44Oh, none taken.
00:22:51No, I just thought, um,
00:22:53if you need a cab when you're coming home,
00:22:56there's me a number.
00:22:58Oh, you know, just in case.
00:22:59Well, if you need a cab,
00:23:01you probably don't, but if you do.
00:23:04Thanks.
00:23:06Thanks a lot.
00:23:18First 50 minutes of piano practice, Dad.
00:23:21Don't let him stop after five, all right?
00:23:23How's he doing with it?
00:23:24Oh, very good, yeah.
00:23:25He's, um, he's got his great fall coming up.
00:23:28Your mum had lessons when she was little.
00:23:31I wonder if that's where Adam gets his musical talent.
00:23:33No, then his dad's very musical.
00:23:36We're only going for a ruby in the village, Dad.
00:23:38We'll be back in a couple of hours.
00:23:39Okay, mate.
00:23:41Do you want a little half glass?
00:23:43No, honestly, you're all right.
00:23:44Might do a bit of work after as it goes.
00:23:47Just a couple of hours.
00:23:48Dad, relax.
00:23:50You're an old man.
00:23:50Get your feet up.
00:23:51You shouldn't be out there gallivanting.
00:23:52What are you talking about?
00:23:54Look, Denny's only a list,
00:23:56so, um, you'll know when to pick up Adam this week,
00:23:59if that's all right.
00:24:00Not too old for that, then.
00:24:02Dad, I'm not having a pop.
00:24:03I'm merely saying that your retirement age is a fact.
00:24:06What would I want to retire for?
00:24:07I'm not ready to retire.
00:24:08What the hell do I do if I retire?
00:24:10Sitting indoors, waiting to die?
00:24:11Hello, Ray.
00:24:15You didn't hear the doorbell chime.
00:24:16No, I can't run the back.
00:24:19Mm-mm.
00:24:21Now, please allow Adam to finish his piano practice.
00:24:24He'll play with you afterwards.
00:24:25Dad was just saying he likes the beach cabinets.
00:24:27Is he?
00:24:27That's nice.
00:24:28Look what Ray was saying.
00:24:29It was bespoke.
00:24:30Well, there'd be a little point buying a house like this
00:24:32and putting it in flat pack.
00:24:34Cost more than a swimming pool, Dad.
00:24:35I don't doubt it, boy.
00:24:36We are not buying a swimming pool, Ray.
00:24:38All I'm saying, right,
00:24:57it's like a conveyor belt, isn't it?
00:24:59Life.
00:25:00Yeah, whatever, Billy boy.
00:25:02It's like a conveyor belt and I'm...
00:25:03Yeah, just about to sop my lofty end.
00:25:06I said not cheese and onion, H.
00:25:09We're on the front line here, Nira Monda.
00:25:12And there's Nish and Monda speaking to do about it.
00:25:14My daughter thinks I'm ancient
00:25:15and I'm still getting wet dreams.
00:25:17People should be made to retire at 65.
00:25:20I'm serious.
00:25:21Out with the old, in with the new.
00:25:23How can I ever retire, you tart?
00:25:25I've got no pension, no savings, no nothing, mate.
00:25:28I'll be laying carpets when they're laying me in my body bag.
00:25:31You going to Cardiff, Billy?
00:25:33That's your name, Ray?
00:25:34What's that?
00:25:35Had a why day.
00:25:36What for?
00:25:36I thought I'd laugh.
00:25:39Don't know as often be arsed.
00:25:45Yeah?
00:25:48Oh, yeah.
00:25:49Right, right.
00:25:51Oh, for sure, no problem.
00:25:52See you in five.
00:25:57Regular customer.
00:25:59Can't let them down.
00:26:00It's your shot.
00:26:16You all right?
00:26:18You look better already.
00:26:19You think so?
00:26:20Not at all.
00:26:21To be honest, I can't remember whether it was, like, bright prominent or not,
00:26:26but if you don't like it, change it.
00:26:29Exactly.
00:26:31I didn't want to go too mad.
00:26:32And you really want to see the world?
00:26:44I'm sorry.
00:26:45It was in that list in your jacket.
00:26:47I was looking for a name.
00:26:50Starting with Botswana.
00:26:52What's all that, then?
00:26:53Safari or something?
00:26:55No.
00:26:55Well, maybe.
00:26:58I'm going to spend time in every country that draws me.
00:27:02That has, uh, an allure.
00:27:08What you gonna do when you get there?
00:27:10I shall decide when I'm there.
00:27:13I'm serious.
00:27:15My plan is not to have a plan.
00:27:18Any road up Potter's Bar for now.
00:27:20I'm going to spend a couple of weeks with my father.
00:27:25But then I'm up, up and away.
00:27:29I like it.
00:27:31What?
00:27:32I don't know.
00:27:33The idea that you're going off.
00:27:36You're doing what the rest of us don't even dare to think about.
00:27:41The news is the shape of things to come.
00:27:45Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:27:50Dad!
00:28:18Dad!
00:28:18Dad!
00:28:20Dad, Dad, I was, my God, Dad, you're freezing.
00:28:50Dad, I can see you.
00:28:56Thank you. Thanks very much.
00:29:05He's stable.
00:29:08Well, that's good news here.
00:29:10Please don't feel you have to stay.
00:29:12No, that's not a problem. You're on a mind.
00:29:15I can go in and see him in a bit. A while.
00:29:19He's still with the... being examined.
00:29:23Right.
00:29:26There was manure in my father's ear.
00:29:30I pretended to stroke his face
00:29:32and hooked it out while the doctor was washing his hands.
00:29:38You'll be all right.
00:29:42Look, you should go. This is daft.
00:29:46Why don't you give me a ring when you need to go home?
00:29:48I won't put the meat on.
00:29:49Oh, no. I'll pop back anyway on me way home.
00:29:53I've got to go and see me son and then I'll pop back.
00:29:55I'll pop back at him.
00:29:57I won't talk to you.
00:29:59I'll pop back.
00:30:01Sorry.
00:30:04Bye.
00:30:10Bye.
00:30:11Bye.
00:30:12Bye.
00:30:13Bye.
00:30:15Bye.
00:30:15Bye.
00:30:15Bye.
00:30:18Bye.
00:30:20All right, Yeltsin?
00:30:50No, it's probably not the best time, Dad.
00:30:57Denny needs a bit of calming down.
00:30:59Why?
00:31:00Why?
00:31:03You've been rumbled, Dad.
00:31:07Oh, and, er, can you have Adam on Friday night?
00:31:10Yeah, no problem.
00:31:11Good, well, best be off.
00:31:17It's not me!
00:31:18It is you, Dad.
00:31:20Looks like me.
00:31:21That's because it is you.
00:31:22What the bloody hell's Denny doing by the standard?
00:31:24William in Hertfordshire.
00:31:25Are you back being a thug again, Dad?
00:31:27A geriatric hooligan?
00:31:29I'm not geriatric.
00:31:30Just a hooligan.
00:31:31No, I just went for a drink with Billy and that...
00:31:35He's suffering with cancer.
00:31:37Why are you taking him out fighting?
00:31:41What do you look like, eh?
00:31:44Embarrassing.
00:31:45Little Ray says Denny's furious.
00:31:48They're worried Adam Saul will find out.
00:31:50In fact, they're worried that someone will work out you're related to him.
00:31:54I can't be identified from that, Fargo.
00:31:56Besides, I wasn't doing anything, Kaz.
00:31:58There's a card.
00:31:59The gear's still slipping.
00:32:00Don't try and change the subject.
00:32:01Sorry.
00:32:02They are talking about examples being set.
00:32:05Custodial sentences.
00:32:06Christ, Dad, what kind of example is this for your grandchildren?
00:32:11Not on...
00:32:12Hello?
00:32:13Oh, yeah, right.
00:32:14Yeah.
00:32:15Yeah.
00:32:16No, no, no, no.
00:32:17You all right?
00:32:18It's on the ass.
00:32:19You sure?
00:32:20It's very kind.
00:32:21Will you be all right, mate?
00:32:22Thanks.
00:32:23Good luck.
00:32:24Oh, no, no, no.
00:32:25You all right?
00:32:26It's on the ass.
00:32:27You sure?
00:32:28It's very kind.
00:32:29Will you be all right, mate?
00:32:30Thanks.
00:32:31Good luck.
00:32:32Oh, no, no, no.
00:32:33You all right?
00:32:34It's on the ass.
00:32:35You sure?
00:32:36It's very kind.
00:32:37Will you be all right, mate?
00:32:38Thanks.
00:32:39Good luck.
00:33:00Good luck.
00:33:30Good luck.
00:34:00You sure?
00:34:01Good luck.
00:34:02Good luck.
00:34:03Yes.
00:34:04Thanks very much.
00:34:11My grandson's got a new arrow.
00:34:13You know, the posh schooling...
00:34:15Well, arrow I suppose.
00:34:17That's...
00:34:19Expensive.
00:34:20Paying for him to hate me.
00:34:24You don't mean that.
00:34:25He's my mate.
00:34:26My mama gonna see him for seven years.
00:34:28and when he comes back, he's gonna be all grown up.
00:34:30Other priorities.
00:34:32Not tea and toasting with his granddad.
00:34:38I was born in this house.
00:34:41I so don't want to die in it.
00:34:46He'll be all right, your dad.
00:34:49Do you want me to get anything for you?
00:34:52Yes, a driving licence.
00:34:55Do you think it's too late to take lessons?
00:34:59Lessons?
00:35:01Driving lessons.
00:35:02Yes.
00:35:25I'll get back.
00:35:55Hello.
00:35:56Hello, mate.
00:35:57I'm not supposed to be here.
00:35:59Ooh.
00:36:01Well, are you allowed to come in to us?
00:36:09Why haven't you got up yet?
00:36:11I don't know, I was just sitting up in bed.
00:36:14Reading?
00:36:15Thinking.
00:36:17What about?
00:36:18Oh, God, nothing.
00:36:20You know, just thinking about nothing.
00:36:23Don't you do that?
00:36:24No time.
00:36:27No time for kicking leaves about and having to think about things.
00:36:30You.
00:36:31You can come up and see me.
00:36:39We can have tea there when I'm at Harrow.
00:36:43Yeah.
00:36:44I'll do that.
00:36:45Come and have your toast.
00:36:46Do you want a grapefruit?
00:36:47No, thank you.
00:36:48I used to watch my dad doing this.
00:36:49He loved a grapefruit of a morning.
00:36:50I used to sit there at the table next to him, watching him cut it with the precision of a surgeon.
00:37:03My dad was a docker up at dawn.
00:37:07I'd get up with him.
00:37:09To watch him prepare his grapefruit?
00:37:11That was part of it.
00:37:13Of what?
00:37:14His morning ritual.
00:37:16After the grapefruit, he was out in the garden with a cricket bat on the snail trail.
00:37:21The morning sun had hit the back garden wall, and it was a snail's paradise in amongst me dad's osters.
00:37:27My job was to find the snails, lob them to him, and then he'd hit them for six.
00:37:32One day, you'll be sitting in your dining room with your grandson, and you'll be telling him all about me and my grapefruit.
00:38:02Oh, what do you look like?
00:38:06I look like the consummate professional painter-decorator.
00:38:11I'm saying this to me.
00:38:15Oh, I've got something for you.
00:38:18Would you like to come in?
00:38:21Oh, I mean, I could do, I suppose.
00:38:24I was actually...
00:38:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
00:38:32What do you think?
00:38:44Well, don't you think you should strip the room out first?
00:38:48I wanted to, er, freshen things up a bit.
00:38:51I wanted a bit of...
00:38:53Orange.
00:38:54...for my dad.
00:38:56So, what have you brought me?
00:39:00Oh, yeah, right, right. Don't build your hopes up.
00:39:06Oh.
00:39:07I thought it was going to be a guinea pig.
00:39:09No, no, it's an arse machine.
00:39:11It sounds you're not tied to the arse for when the hospital is.
00:39:14It's only an old one in a box of marjoram.
00:39:16You might as well have it.
00:39:18Oh, thank you.
00:39:19Where's your telephone?
00:39:21Oh, you got her order coming over?
00:39:38Oh, we've, er, never been a mug household.
00:39:42I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:39:44I'm sorry, I was hungry.
00:39:46Oh, my sorry.
00:39:47I'm not going anything.
00:39:48I'm sorry.
00:39:49I'm sorry, sorry.
00:39:50I'm sorry.
00:39:51Oh, my God.
00:39:52Oh, my God.
00:39:54Oh, my God.
00:39:59Yeah.
00:40:00No.
00:40:01No.
00:40:03No, no, no.
00:40:05No!
00:40:07No.
00:40:08You an UFTA?
00:40:17I don't really know what one is.
00:40:28I should be sitting on a rickety bus travelling across Botswana by now.
00:40:33Botswana? What's that all about, then?
00:40:38Every Saturday morning, my mother would take me to the stamp shop for a foreign stamp.
00:40:57This was the first one she ever bought me.
00:41:01It used to be called Betuanaland, but it's Botswana now.
00:41:08I look at that stamp and imagine long, dusty roads.
00:41:14A little boy on a rickety old bicycle.
00:41:18And a tree, a lone tree, with a bony dog sleeping in its shade.
00:41:24And a lady with a pot balanced on her head.
00:41:28Oh, yeah.
00:41:29And here I sit in Potter's Bar.
00:41:34There's worst places to sit, trust me.
00:41:37What's the name for a stamp collector?
00:41:39Philatelist.
00:41:42I was an ornithologist at school.
00:41:44Were you?
00:41:45Well, I went to the club.
00:41:46Young ornithologist club. Lunchtimes.
00:41:48But then I...
00:41:51What?
00:41:54Nothing.
00:41:55What?
00:41:57We came out loud.
00:41:59Mind you, we all were in them days, eh?
00:42:02No.
00:42:04Maybe not, but I was.
00:42:07Don't suppose I was the kind of boy your mum would have wanted you to play with?
00:42:10I don't suppose you were the kind of boy who would have wanted to play with me.
00:42:20And if a nuf does what I think it is, then yes, I think I might be.
00:42:33Custard cream?
00:42:35Lovely.
00:42:40What?
00:42:51What?
00:43:10you won't find me you don't reckon I'll give you a clue I'm a pupil not staff so
00:43:22you went there and then you talk there I never left I hadn't planned to stay there
00:43:28forever so why did you I'm not sure I didn't really have a plan when I was
00:43:36young and then it's 40 years later and time to retire you miss missin school not
00:43:45Sundays the boredom the top 40 coming at me from all sides we used to have a
00:43:54roast every Sunday roast every Sunday Chinese every Wednesday started off
00:43:58because that's when my kids done things me boy done football training me girl done
00:44:02drama group me and Janey used to go out for Chinese carried it on even when the
00:44:06kids had grown up and left home haven't had a Chinese since I lost it
00:44:11oh look oh bless
00:44:25they're very attentive
00:44:40well they're hardly rushed off their feet are they
00:44:44doesn't taste like pork well with your sweet and sour it doesn't exactly matter too much
00:44:53what meat you have just tastes like sweet and sour
00:44:56we used to have a sort of Chinese dish at school last Friday of every month but it wasn't Chinese
00:45:06like this is Chinese basically it was stewed with rice well apparently even this isn't the Chinese like the Chinese you get in China
00:45:13how did your wife die oh I'm so sorry don't be daft cancer she was ill for years I just thought one day she'll get better even the night I lost her I thought I'd still be taking her home
00:45:20it must be hard on your own after not being on your own
00:45:25eat your nosh
00:45:31eat your nosh thank you
00:45:38thank you all for I wouldn't have had a clue what to order
00:45:45you're gonna go bloody hungry in Botswana then aren't you you'll have to come out and order for me
00:45:52you'll need to stay in hospital for a little while and then yes obviously he won't be able to come out and see you
00:46:18Well, and then, obviously, he won't be able to cope on his own anymore.
00:46:24I don't know whether I'll be able to look after him all the time.
00:46:30I've got these plans, you see.
00:46:32Well, he'll need full-time care.
00:46:35You need looking after yourself.
00:46:38Did you take a fall?
00:46:42No.
00:46:45It's not fair that someone of your age still have to bother about a parent.
00:46:48Is it warm, or is it me?
00:47:06It is quite warm, Dad.
00:47:09Shall I open a window?
00:47:11Don't bother.
00:47:14When am I getting out of here?
00:47:15Not young.
00:47:26You're not young. You're old.
00:47:29We should ask for a double room.
00:47:31I just want to live a bit before I die.
00:47:38What?
00:47:39How is it going?
00:47:41I just want to know.
00:47:42I'll be happy.
00:47:42I'll be happy.
00:47:42I'll be happy.
00:47:43I'll be happy.
00:47:44I'll be happy.
00:48:14Hello. Anyone there?
00:48:24Your chariot awaits, sir.
00:48:27Ah, splendid.
00:48:29I want you to take me to the shopping centre.
00:48:31I shan't be a moment.
00:48:34What you doing?
00:48:36It's what we do round these here paths.
00:48:39Have bonfires on Sundays.
00:48:42Well, they're main leaves.
00:48:43I need it to clear out.
00:48:46Is that all your clobber?
00:48:47Everything.
00:48:49Apart from what I'm standing up in.
00:48:53Something different about you.
00:48:57Mustache.
00:48:58Ha!
00:49:00I rather fancy a whole new me.
00:49:04You may suggest you walk a pair of strides off for the fire
00:49:06before I take you up to the shops.
00:49:07Well, that is meatless.
00:49:31Is it me?
00:49:32Not Mooney.
00:49:33Oh, they want a nifty.
00:49:36Well, stick it on the pile.
00:49:38Look, maybe you've got enough kit now.
00:49:39It's adding up.
00:49:41Listen.
00:49:42I have nearly £200,000 in my current account.
00:49:47I've never spent anything, you see.
00:49:50Never had anything to spend it on.
00:49:51I've been saving up for 45 years.
00:49:56And if I don't spend it soon,
00:49:58can I get you a new suit?
00:50:00Get out.
00:50:01No, seriously.
00:50:03Come on.
00:50:04Why not?
00:50:07£200,000 large, you say?
00:50:10Well, then I'd rather think you can.
00:50:13I'll tell you what, Jimbo.
00:50:21I'll look the business.
00:50:22The business.
00:50:24I'll tell you, fella.
00:50:26As my granddaughter would say.
00:50:28I'll look buff, mate.
00:50:30Eh?
00:50:30What you think?
00:50:31Jesus H. Christ.
00:50:39On a bike.
00:50:40My sentiments precisely.
00:50:42That is...
00:50:43Mintos?
00:50:44Not Mooney.
00:50:46Thanks.
00:50:47Where's that nice sweater?
00:50:49Here we go.
00:50:51Ha, ha, ha.
00:50:52A bit of quality knitwear.
00:50:53Set that off a treat.
00:50:56Oh.
00:51:01What would I say now, eh?
00:51:05You walked into your old school.
00:51:07They wouldn't believe it was me.
00:51:09It's not, really.
00:51:12It's the new me,
00:51:14breaking out of his chrysalis.
00:51:16You do come out with some
00:51:17flowery old bollocks, don't you?
00:51:19What do you mean?
00:51:21Your little expressions.
00:51:23Are they a bit...
00:51:25nuftery?
00:51:26Ha, ha, ha.
00:51:27Ha, ha, ha.
00:51:28You think I look all right?
00:51:33Yeah.
00:51:33I do.
00:51:35As it goes.
00:51:37Oh.
00:51:39You look...
00:51:40handsome.
00:51:41I don't know.
00:52:11I don't know.
00:52:41I don't know.
00:52:43Hiya.
00:52:45Yeah, Dad?
00:52:47Everything all right?
00:52:49Yeah.
00:52:50Yeah.
00:52:51Shall I make you a cup of tea, Dad?
00:52:54Oh, I'm all right.
00:52:55What's going on?
00:52:56Well...
00:52:58It's just that...
00:53:00We haven't really seen you, Dad. Not really.
00:53:02Not for weeks.
00:53:03New suit, Dad.
00:53:05Oh, yeah.
00:53:07Yeah, sort of.
00:53:09Um...
00:53:11In the sails.
00:53:13So I'm not really...
00:53:15We thought you'd be in.
00:53:18You're always in on a Sunday afternoon.
00:53:20Well, I just thought I'd do a couple of hours' work.
00:53:23We're not stupid, Dad.
00:53:25You're an old man, you know.
00:53:29I'm not old.
00:53:30Exactly.
00:53:31Someone comes along, tells you you're not old and you fall for it.
00:53:35What are you talking about?
00:53:37The world over it's happening, Dad.
00:53:39What is?
00:53:40Widows, Dad.
00:53:41Getting mugged up.
00:53:42Listen...
00:53:43You've got to think of the kids.
00:53:44I.E.
00:53:45Us.
00:53:46You know, we're pleased for you.
00:53:47We don't mind.
00:53:48I just want you to be careful.
00:53:50So, is she a lot younger than you?
00:53:52Because if she is, there's things we've got to talk about, then.
00:53:54Yeah.
00:53:55Like, if she moves in, where's that leave the situation?
00:53:57Has she got kids of her own?
00:53:58Oh, for God's sakes, you two.
00:54:00Don't accuse me of disappearing off the face of the earth.
00:54:03Well, I've hardly disappeared.
00:54:04I've been sitting inside for eight years!
00:54:13You're very inside and out the door.
00:54:31All right, let's go.
00:54:33Oh man!
00:54:35Here we go.
00:54:36Here we go.
00:54:38I want a shame.
00:54:40Hello?
00:54:41Hello?
00:54:42This has been Hateπου, huh?
00:54:43Hello?
00:54:56I know it's you because your number's come up on me phone.
00:54:59Oh, right.
00:55:01I didn't realise that happened.
00:55:04Sorry.
00:55:06You don't have to say sorry to me.
00:55:08It should be me saying sorry to you.
00:55:10You don't have to say sorry to me, either.
00:55:15How are you?
00:55:18Yeah.
00:55:20OK.
00:55:24How's your dad?
00:55:26He's OK.
00:55:29He's quoting poetry.
00:55:33Actually, no.
00:55:37He's really very poorly.
00:55:38I don't know what to do for him for the best.
00:55:43Well, it's early days, yeah.
00:55:47I'm sure he'll be all right.
00:55:54We're all sentimental, though, don't you reckon?
00:55:58Even if we pretend we ain't.
00:56:01This carpet needs changing, but...
00:56:03But?
00:56:05What?
00:56:07I don't know.
00:56:09Janie walked on this.
00:56:12Somehow I don't like the thought of it sitting outside on a skip.
00:56:17Well, this carpet's getting old.
00:56:20But Janie can't, can she?
00:56:23She doesn't have to worry about all that nonsense anymore.
00:56:26No, I suppose she doesn't.
00:56:32Cheese and Jan.
00:56:33Are you serious?
00:56:35For breakfast?
00:56:36Right, so.
00:56:38Yanks like to, I don't know, mix their flavours, don't they?
00:56:42Cheese and Jan, mate.
00:56:45Sounds like they shouldn't work together, but they do.
00:56:47I'd walk into every lesson and think, is this the one when the boys riot?
00:56:55Did they?
00:56:57No, they never did.
00:56:59But that was always my fear.
00:57:03Well, we went on already to Temby once, and there's this rock thing sticking out of the sand,
00:57:10and I climbed on it and that, I was having a play in it.
00:57:12And next thing I knew, I looked down, and it ain't sand all around, but bloody sea.
00:57:19Anyway, that was the last time I was really scared.
00:57:23You haven't been scared since you were eight?
00:57:25Well, mate, I'm hard, me.
00:57:29I don't know.
00:57:31I've got nothing to confess.
00:57:34I've only just left school.
00:57:42The only reason I joined the Young Ornithologists was because of Oliver Phillips.
00:57:56Once, I went to the Young Ornithologists Club, and Oliver was the only one there.
00:58:03We looked at each other, and he walked towards me, and kissed me.
00:58:19And it was nice.
00:58:24What do you mean?
00:58:49Of course I'm still in the hall.
00:58:51Where else could I be?
00:58:52I'm like a goat, tethered to a post.
00:58:56I have about four feet to wander.
00:59:00I'm trapped to the spot in this house forever and eternity.
00:59:14Ta-da!
00:59:15I think you're ready for your first driving lesson.
00:59:18slowly.
00:59:22Now, we're going to turn right.
00:59:25Turn right.
00:59:28Slowly, mate.
00:59:30All right.
00:59:30Just calm down.
00:59:31There we go.
00:59:32And turn right there.
00:59:33Now, slowly.
00:59:33Take care.
00:59:34Yeah.
00:59:34Turn it slowly.
00:59:35Yes.
00:59:36That's it.
00:59:37Now through the gap.
00:59:37Through the gap.
00:59:38that's it you're doing all right we'll have you doing a knowledge yet
00:59:46running a circle can you get a license for just car parks
01:00:08so when do we go out on the road one day at a time a cowboy
01:00:36well that was fun you know there's only a few miles between spain and north africa
01:00:43pardon we could take the cab to botswana are you coming baby maybe not
01:00:52i'd like to see your threadbare carpet one day my case is having a party maybe you could really
01:01:03be why it's not gonna be you know
01:01:06thank you it's only a bit of a party
01:01:12so
01:01:15so
01:01:28I don't know.
01:01:58I don't know.
01:02:28I don't know.
01:02:58I don't know.
01:03:10I don't know.
01:03:14Tell me about Oliver Phillips.
01:03:18He...
01:03:20I don't know.
01:03:22And he just walked up to you and kissed you.
01:03:28Like this.
01:03:34I don't know.
01:03:44I don't know.
01:03:46I don't know.
01:04:00I don't know.
01:04:04I don't know.
01:04:14I don't know.
01:04:16I don't know.
01:04:18I don't know.
01:04:20I don't know.
01:04:30I don't know.
01:04:32I don't know.
01:05:04What's this?
01:05:08Sheffield United.
01:05:11Away.
01:05:20I haven't got a clue what I'm supposed to do.
01:05:27Well, we can just make it up.
01:05:31Yes?
01:05:34I know a joke about Carrie.
01:05:36Come.
01:05:38You're funny, you.
01:05:40How do you mean?
01:05:42Most people just hit you with a joke.
01:05:46You announce it.
01:05:48Hmm.
01:05:50Is that good or not good?
01:05:52It's good, Jim.
01:05:54It's lovely.
01:05:56It's lovely.
01:05:58It's you.
01:06:00It's two chaps talking, okay?
01:06:02I like chicken taco.
01:06:04I like chicken taco.
01:06:05Surely you mean chicken ticker.
01:06:06No, it's like ticker, only otter.
01:06:08That was it.
01:06:09That was it.
01:06:10That was my joke.
01:06:12That was my joke.
01:06:14Well, don't get it.
01:06:16You know, taco the otter.
01:06:18You know, taco the otter.
01:06:20It's a book about an otter.
01:06:22It's a book about an otter.
01:06:24Oh.
01:06:25Sorry, I'm a bit fit.
01:06:26Sorry, I'm a bit fit.
01:06:27Hey.
01:06:28What's the point?
01:06:29You see a book about an otter.
01:06:30That's a bit of a book about you.
01:06:31You see a book about an otter?
01:06:35That's a bit great.
01:06:37What's the point?
01:06:38What's the point?
01:06:39Is there a book about an otter?
01:06:41Oh, no.
01:06:43I'm a bit fit.
01:06:46I'm not a spirit.
01:06:48I'm not a spirit.
01:06:50I'm not a spirit.
01:06:51What is this?
01:06:52What is this?
01:06:53The thing is, chicken take care, ain't it all?
01:07:23The sunlight on the garden,
01:07:53When it gardens and grows cold,
01:07:56We cannot cage the minute within its nets of gold,
01:08:01When all is told, we cannot beg for pardon.
01:08:06Dad?
01:08:11I'm sorry, son.
01:08:13What are you sorry about, Dad?
01:08:21What have you done to your nose?
01:08:26What do you think?
01:08:29I might have my ears pinned back while I'm in here.
01:08:32There's nothing wrong with your ears.
01:08:34Pardon?
01:08:36Ears are the only things that carry on growing.
01:08:40That's why all old men have huge ears.
01:08:44If I live much longer, you'll be calling me Dumbo.
01:08:47Everyone used to call me Beaky.
01:08:50Children can be cool.
01:08:53No, I was talking about the teachers.
01:08:56Very funny.
01:08:58Yes, I've inherited your sense of humor.
01:09:01Maybe.
01:09:09I know you think I should go into a care home.
01:09:13Oh, cool.
01:09:29Not another visitation.
01:09:34Just seeing if this old cot's any good as it goes.
01:09:43What?
01:09:44Where were you last night?
01:09:46Hey?
01:09:47What, you didn't hear me?
01:09:49Yes, I heard you.
01:09:50Where was I supposed to be?
01:09:52Don't you walk away from me, boy.
01:09:54You've got something to say.
01:09:55Say it.
01:09:56Where were you?
01:09:57That's all I'm asking.
01:09:58I wasn't down to look after Adam, was I?
01:10:00No, and you won't be no more neither.
01:10:01End of.
01:10:02You and Adam.
01:10:03End of.
01:10:04That's well over.
01:10:05So, where were you last night?
01:10:14You were with her, weren't you?
01:10:20That's fine.
01:10:21Let's just leave it, yeah?
01:10:22Leave what?
01:10:23With your children.
01:10:24I know you're my children.
01:10:26Oh, you're a big brave man, aren't you?
01:10:28Just not big and brave enough to tell us the truth.
01:10:30What truth do you want me to tell you?
01:10:31I've been following you, Dad.
01:10:37We thought some old bird was trying to lead you astray,
01:10:39get a hold of your money.
01:10:41But...
01:10:43I followed you, Dad.
01:10:45And I saw him feeding you in the Indian.
01:10:48You were my father, and it is horrible.
01:10:58It's...
01:10:59It's none of our business what you...
01:11:01what you do, Dad.
01:11:03Not really.
01:11:04It's up to you.
01:11:05I just want you to be happy.
01:11:06Oh, yeah.
01:11:07Yeah, you sure?
01:11:08You sure it ain't you want to get your mitts on my house?
01:11:10Don't want anyone upset in that plan, eh?
01:11:19Kaz.
01:11:23Open the door.
01:11:24I want...
01:11:25I want to explain.
01:11:28I don't want you to explain, Dad.
01:11:32I don't know what to say.
01:11:36I don't know what to do, Kaz.
01:11:37Who cares?
01:11:50Are you...
01:11:52a gay?
01:11:55No.
01:11:59I'm sorry.
01:12:07Little Ray.
01:12:13I'm sorry, Little Ray.
01:12:14What?
01:12:15You're sorry you're a queer?
01:12:17You've, like...
01:12:19You've made a terrible conclusion.
01:12:23I'll tell you what.
01:12:24I didn't expect this one.
01:12:26Well, it...
01:12:28It's not like that.
01:12:29What is it like, then?
01:12:31Well, it's disgusting.
01:12:32You're right.
01:12:33I mean, what you're...
01:12:35It's disgusting.
01:12:37What you saw...
01:12:39What you saw, Little Ray, was...
01:12:41was me and him on one.
01:12:43We was taking the piss out of one of the waiters, who is Ben.
01:12:46I mean, he's a mate.
01:12:48I mean, I'm not being horrible, but not even too much of a mate.
01:12:51We...
01:12:52We just went out on the lash a couple of times.
01:12:55Well, and that's it, is it?
01:12:57Yeah, he's nothing to me.
01:12:59I'm...
01:13:01I'm embarrassed you thought those things of me.
01:13:03I'm so sorry, Dad.
01:13:04You know, I started to think that you and Mum were...
01:13:07I loved Mum.
01:13:09Christ, I still love her.
01:13:11And I pray every night it's all been some terrible dream
01:13:13and she's gonna come back into us.
01:13:15But she won't, will she?
01:13:17And all I can do is...
01:13:19get out on the piss with some...
01:13:21numpty I hardly know.
01:13:22exactly now.
01:13:23I don't think it's a good one.
01:13:53I don't think it's a good idea.
01:13:55About the party. Sorry.
01:13:57I hope your dad was...
01:13:59OK.
01:14:01Bye.
01:14:11I don't think it's a good idea.
01:14:13About the party. Sorry.
01:14:15I hope your dad was...
01:14:19OK. Bye.
01:14:23Saturday, 3, 4, 2, 6 p.m.
01:14:27Happy birthday to you.
01:14:37Happy birthday to you.
01:14:39Happy birthday to you.
01:14:41Happy birthday dear Bobby.
01:14:45Happy birthday to you.
01:14:47Happy birthday dear Bobby.
01:14:49Happy birthday to you.
01:14:53Happy birthday to you.
01:14:59Happy birthday to you.
01:15:01Happy birthday to you.
01:15:03Happy birthday to you.
01:15:05Goodbye.
01:15:07You won't need to worry about a thing anymore, Dad.
01:15:12I'm going to look after you.
01:15:21It's what I want to do.
01:15:25To look after you.
01:15:28I spent my life doing that front garden.
01:15:31At the end of the day, at the end of my day,
01:15:35someone will come along and crazy pave it.
01:15:37I'm retired now.
01:15:42It'll be fun.
01:15:45We'll have a nice time.
01:15:52I... I... I don't...
01:15:56want you're looking after me.
01:15:58If they're flushed, I think it'll be more comfy for you.
01:16:02Go.
01:16:05Please, go.
01:16:06I need you to go.
01:16:11Live.
01:16:16Sell the house if needs be.
01:16:18And be looked after for always.
01:16:26Go.
01:16:28And live a bit.
01:16:30For the both of us.
01:16:31No.
01:16:32No.
01:16:33No.
01:16:33But...
01:16:36No.
01:16:39Sorry.
01:16:53No.
01:16:56No.
01:17:27Open up, you silly old sod.
01:17:48It's me, Billy.
01:17:52I know you're in there.
01:17:54I ain't going anywhere, fellas, so you might as well open up.
01:17:57Sorry, Billy, I just thought you were somebody over trying to flog me somewhere over.
01:18:05Remember that old Allegra I had?
01:18:08Someone's only going to dump one on the Barnet Road.
01:18:11I popped into all days.
01:18:14Thought we might have bacon sandwiches.
01:18:17If it's all right.
01:18:18Right, sweet.
01:18:24No charge.
01:18:27A bit late for tea and so on, isn't it?
01:18:29If I was God, I'd have us all worked perfect up to about, I don't know, 70, then bosh, good night on earth, end of.
01:18:4170?
01:18:43Doesn't give us too long, eh?
01:18:45I'll be happy for 70 of that, so long as them 70 I stayed bang on the money on the health front.
01:18:49Don't matter how young you feel up there, you've got a plastic bag of piss down your strides.
01:18:55You're that old Allegra on the Barnet Road, eh?
01:18:58I've had it, mate.
01:19:01They're taking me into hospital tomorrow for an emergency prostatectomy.
01:19:06But it might have spread, so...
01:19:08I'm bricking it.
01:19:11It'll be all right.
01:19:19Not so long ago, you and me took the park lane end.
01:19:23About 30 years ago.
01:19:25Was it really 30 years ago?
01:19:27More.
01:19:29Yeah.
01:19:32So they're going to cut in here, do the business and...
01:19:36Cancer of the arse, Al.
01:19:43Only me, eh?
01:19:45Your prostate ain't up your aris.
01:19:48Isn't it?
01:19:49Then the doctor went the long way round to find it.
01:19:52His index finger straight up me poop chute.
01:19:55Maybe he fancied me.
01:20:04I know you won't see me wrong.
01:20:04You love me.
01:20:07So you all would say.
01:20:10We've known each other half a century.
01:20:13We know what makes each other tick.
01:20:16We don't really know very much about each other.
01:20:19Considering.
01:20:21Don't be a tart.
01:20:23I know everything about you.
01:20:25Is that's it?
01:20:38I don't know.
01:20:42Short little life, really.
01:20:43I don't know.
01:20:44I don't know.
01:20:45I don't know.
01:20:45I don't know.
01:20:46I don't know.
01:20:46I don't know.
01:20:47I don't know.
01:20:48I don't know.
01:20:48I don't know.
01:20:48I don't know.
01:20:49I don't know.
01:20:49I don't know.
01:20:49I don't know.
01:20:50I don't know.
01:20:50I don't know.
01:20:50I don't know.
01:20:50I don't know.
01:20:51I don't know.
01:20:51I don't know.
01:20:52I don't know.
01:20:52I don't know.
01:20:52I don't know.
01:20:53I don't know.
01:20:53I don't know.
01:20:54I don't know.
01:20:55I don't know.
01:20:55I don't know.
01:20:56I don't know.
01:20:57I don't know.
01:20:58I don't know.
01:20:59I don't know.
01:21:30You all right, Dad?
01:21:34Yeah.
01:21:35Are you sure?
01:21:37Yeah.
01:21:42I'm all right as well.
01:21:44Yeah, I know you're all right, mister.
01:21:48Adam, your shoelaces undone.
01:21:50You tripped down here.
01:21:56Mum hates it when Dad shows off.
01:22:00Uh, Ray, what are you doing?
01:22:04I was teaching the kids to defend themselves.
01:22:06It's a bouncy castle room.
01:22:08Yeah, what?
01:22:09You don't want to be too long, all right?
01:22:11We just got here.
01:22:13Well, I'm ready when you're ready.
01:22:14I don't want Adam getting overtired.
01:22:16All right.
01:22:21Adam.
01:22:22Adam, I'm here.
01:22:26Get to be here then, Dad.
01:22:30You've come back a man, eh, Dad?
01:22:33Yeah.
01:22:33Thanks, Ian.
01:22:34Remember about a family going to Harrow.
01:22:36Changing world, Dad.
01:22:37Yeah.
01:22:38Still, whatever he wants to do with his life, eh?
01:22:40Whatever you do, I'll be proud of you.
01:22:43Come on.
01:22:43I don't want to go.
01:22:44I want to stay here.
01:22:46All right, but we're not going to be long, eh?
01:22:47Mum says you look tired.
01:22:48I think your dad's a bit...
01:22:58Rat-ass, yeah.
01:23:00Just give it a little.
01:23:01Just a little dog.
01:23:02Ray, no.
01:23:06And he will come and see me.
01:23:08You're never going to get rid of me, mate.
01:23:10Now, go and get me a couple of tea towels.
01:23:11What are you doing here?
01:23:32Sorry.
01:23:33I've only come to say goodbye.
01:23:36Goodbye?
01:23:38I'm going away.
01:23:39Everything all right, Dad?
01:23:41Yeah.
01:23:43Yeah, he's just going.
01:23:44Just kind of giving me a message.
01:23:46What's that, then?
01:23:47Nothing.
01:23:48Don't worry about it.
01:23:48I'll see you in a minute, yeah?
01:23:51Yeah, I'll be over there.
01:23:51Yeah.
01:23:56Bye.
01:24:00Jim.
01:24:03I understand.
01:24:05This is where I come from.
01:24:08I can't see...
01:24:09Don't go.
01:24:11You saw my list.
01:24:15Things to do before I die.
01:24:19Well, I've fallen in love.
01:24:22Now I want to see the world.
01:24:28Such a short little life.
01:24:30Exactly.
01:24:31All right, Ray.
01:24:45All right, Ray.
01:24:49Stoking job you're doing here.
01:24:50Look, Ray, I'm sorry about Kaz.
01:25:01All that house business.
01:25:02Bang out of order.
01:25:03I told her.
01:25:04Don't matter.
01:25:05It does, my own way.
01:25:07It's your house.
01:25:08Who are we to boot you out of it?
01:25:10I want you to have it.
01:25:12Don't be damned.
01:25:13Kelly shouldn't be sharing with the boys.
01:25:25Dad, where are you going?
01:25:31What's for honour?
01:25:32Jim!
01:25:37Jim!
01:25:46You look as if you're about to die.
01:25:51I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:25:52Can we go back to your house?
01:25:57Or I'll show you my stamp collection.
01:26:00Have you got a stamp collection?
01:26:02No.
01:26:02No.
01:26:02Botswana, please, driver.
01:26:15I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:16I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:17I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:18I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:19I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:20I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:21I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:22I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:23I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:24I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:25I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:26I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:27I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:28I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:29I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:30I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:31I feel as if I'm about to die.
01:26:32I feel as if I'm about to die.