#AcharyaPrashant #आचार्यप्रशांत #Philosophy #BhagavadGita
Video Information: 18.05.2022, VBC, Greater Noida
Description:
In this session, Acharya Prashant addresses the pain one experiences while witnessing conflict between loved ones. Through subtle clarity, he reveals how attachment and identification with family become the very root of helplessness. Despite our best intentions, we often end up repeating the same patterns that caused the suffering in the first place. Acharya Ji explains that true compassion is not entanglement. When inner strength develops through detachment and self-work, right action becomes possible — not out of compulsion, but out of clarity.
🎧 Listen to Acharya Prashant on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2QmVEAA
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~
Video Information: 18.05.2022, VBC, Greater Noida
Description:
In this session, Acharya Prashant addresses the pain one experiences while witnessing conflict between loved ones. Through subtle clarity, he reveals how attachment and identification with family become the very root of helplessness. Despite our best intentions, we often end up repeating the same patterns that caused the suffering in the first place. Acharya Ji explains that true compassion is not entanglement. When inner strength develops through detachment and self-work, right action becomes possible — not out of compulsion, but out of clarity.
🎧 Listen to Acharya Prashant on Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/show/2QmVEAA
Music Credits: Milind Date
~~~
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00Thank you for the amazing discussion.
00:06My question is, my extended family is dysfunctional, and this has caused conflict between my parents.
00:15And due to poor conflict resolution between them, this issue pops up repeatedly.
00:20In my own life, I try to focus on living my best, but it causes me a lot of grief and sadness to see my parents suffer.
00:31I love my parents very much and try to help them.
00:36And having listened to what you just said, am I correct in understanding that I should look beyond this?
00:43That I can do my best to help them, but I should also just try to help everyone else.
00:50And generally, what should people do when they are in situations like this?
00:55See, in helping somebody who has made a mistake and is suffering because of that,
01:09should we not be sure that we are not repeating the same mistake?
01:17See, all the associations, the bonds and the knots, the familial relationships,
01:31that's what gets bad.
01:40And let's say that got bad for your parents.
01:54Things are not great when it comes to your parents and their relatives, right?
02:00So what's the reason the parents are facing sorrow?
02:14The reason is relationships, right?
02:17Now, when you try to focus exclusively on your parents,
02:31are you two not repeating what they did at a macro level?
02:40Perhaps.
02:41Perhaps.
02:41Yeah.
02:47I guess when you see somebody in conflict and you want to de-escalate that,
02:55but you're not sure how.
03:01You see, it's not just somebody we see in conflict.
03:05We are very selective about the ones we choose to help.
03:10Are we not?
03:11And that might not help the ones we are trying to reach out to.
03:22And there might be many more, far more deserving ones,
03:31just waiting somewhere, just queued up to receive your assistance.
03:38And they are deprived because our exclusive focus is on the ones we are bodily related to.
03:52It doesn't help.
03:54I fully appreciate the sentiment.
03:58We want to do good to the ones.
04:00Sometimes we are related to and we have long stretches of memories with
04:09and all kinds of identifications.
04:12I fully will appreciate that.
04:14But I also know that it doesn't always work this way.
04:18Sometimes what works better is shifting of focus to more appropriate areas.
04:37Remember, nobody can be helped beyond their consent.
04:44That's the nature of life.
04:53Irrespective of how much you want to help someone,
04:59they will decide how much to be helped.
05:01It is not like physical medicine
05:03where you can anesthetize someone and conduct a surgery
05:09even without the consent of the patient
05:12and yet the results might be good.
05:16That can be done at the physical, the gross level.
05:19That cannot be done at the inner level.
05:23Inner...
05:24What is my role if I am witness to the conflict?
05:28And do I just excuse myself
05:33and just say,
05:34you need to figure this out
05:35and I am going to go on a walk
05:38or something like that?
05:39Or do I...
05:41You need to maybe make yourself less available.
05:47Witness is a very pure,
05:50very special word.
05:53You are a witness only when you are not involved at all.
06:01On the other hand,
06:02we are very, very involved.
06:05We are never witnesses.
06:08When you are indeed a witness,
06:11then you witness everything,
06:13not just your own family.
06:16There is so much in the world to be impartially seen.
06:20And if you can look at things at a macro level,
06:23then probably we are close to witnessing.
06:28Right now we are involved.
06:30We are involved for our personal sake.
06:35I am doing it because it is my family.
06:38Now the catch here is,
06:43the very problem has started because of this sentiment.
06:49Right.
06:50You see,
06:50body identification is the mother of all problems.
06:55And then I want to help my parents
06:57because I am bodily identified with them.
07:01How can the problem be extended to become a solution?
07:11So,
07:12it might just help to defocus.
07:14Things take their time.
07:25When you defocus,
07:27you will get a fresh perspective.
07:30You will find that your ability to help
07:32has been enhanced by working on the right people.
07:35and so when the right time presents itself,
07:40you will be in a better position to help even your own family members.
07:44If you are studying medicine,
07:50you don't want to study in a room full of your family members.
07:54Do you?
07:55No.
07:55No.
07:56No.
07:56No.
07:57You want to be away somewhere in a medical college.
08:00And
08:00you want to be away from the din of the family.
08:03And if you are away and do it successfully over there in a college,
08:11then one day probably you might return to treat your family members.
08:15But if you stay with them
08:19and you keep watching their daily tussles
08:25and collisions,
08:28it's no good for any party.
08:34They will continue to do what they do
08:36and you will find that you are developing no muscles to help them or anybody else.
08:42So, I live far away,
08:48but I think what you said also applies to constant communication.
08:52Yeah, yeah.
08:52That's what.
08:53Yeah.
08:54When I said being with them,
08:55that also means...
09:05Welcome.
09:12Welcome.
09:24Welcome.