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00:01Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:03Orson's blackmailing me to stay with him.
00:05To escape her marriage
00:06Lamar Benjamin
00:07You know my husband Orson from the state penitentiary.
00:10Bree arranged her own blackmail
00:12I don't want to fight anymore.
00:13While a friendship
00:15Oh.
00:16Hit the rocks
00:17Lynette, you wanted to sue us!
00:18That proves that you are not my friend!
00:20Oh my God!
00:21Alright, calm down, alright? I'm not an idiot.
00:22I used a prepaid and there's no way they're ever going to find him.
00:24I killed a man.
00:25A desperate act
00:26Danny?
00:27No, no, no, no, no, no!
00:29Led to a revelation.
00:30Would you like some juice Danny?
00:32My name's Tyler.
00:35The whole time I was with you, all I thought about was Susan.
00:38And a revelation?
00:39If you mean it, then please kill me.
00:41I don't care enough about you to kill you.
00:44Led to a desperate act.
00:46I need an ambulance right away.
00:47I'm losing a lot of blood.
00:49Daphne Bix was an unhappy woman.
01:00And no one knew this better than her husband.
01:04That's why he hired her to work with him.
01:07He thought it might cheer her up.
01:10But sadly, Jeff Bix soon discovered that it would take a lot more than a job.
01:16This coffee's cold.
01:17To keep his wife from complaining.
01:20She complained from the moment they got up in the morning.
01:25Well, another sleepless night, thanks to your snoring.
01:27Till they were on their way home at the end of the day.
01:31You want to see if you can hit all the red lights?
01:34Things had gotten so bad, Jeff Bix began to wonder when God would end his suffering.
01:42Luckily for Jeff, God had a plan.
01:46You're unbelievable.
01:47You're so cheap.
01:48It's friggin' Christmas, for God's sake.
01:49I'm not buying you a new car.
01:50Trisha Reid's husband got her a new car.
01:51It isn't even a holiday.
01:52He bought it for her because she beat cancer.
01:53You beat cancer, I'll buy you a car.
01:54Don't beat it, I'll buy you two.
01:55Why are we even together?
01:56The hot sex.
01:57You're cheap.
01:58Rude.
01:59You lack ambition.
02:00I should just dump your sorry ass.
02:01You want a gift?
02:02You want a gift?
02:03How about a divorce?
02:04Don't tempt me.
02:05You want a gift?
02:06You want a gift?
02:07How about a divorce?
02:08Don't tempt me.
02:09You want a gift?
02:10You want a gift?
02:11You want a gift?
02:12You want a gift?
02:13You want a gift?
02:14How about a divorce?
02:15Don't tempt me.
02:16I'm serious.
02:17I already got the name of a divorce attorney.
02:24You want a divorce?
02:25You got it.
02:26Yes, Virginia.
02:27There's a Santa Claus and he's giving me my balls back.
02:29Correction.
02:30One of them.
02:31I get half of everything.
02:32But not the business.
02:33I started that.
02:34With my father's money.
02:35So I get half and I'm selling it.
02:37Wait a minute.
02:38Let's talk about this.
02:39Oh, so now you're scared?
02:41You'd be that vindictive.
02:42Destroy the one thing I love out of spite.
02:44Hello.
02:45Have we met?
02:46Of course I would.
02:47And I'm not stopping there.
02:48Bank accounts.
02:49Pension funds.
02:50Ooh.
02:51I'm gonna ruin you.
02:53Oh, what's the matter?
02:54I can't breathe.
02:56Nice try, big faker.
02:58No.
02:59My chest hurts like hell.
03:00Take the controls.
03:01What?
03:03You gotta land the plane.
03:06What?
03:07No.
03:08You piece of crap.
03:09You can't do this to me.
03:11And that is how the unhappy marriage of Jeff and Daphne Bix ended.
03:17In a plane losing altitude right above a cul-de-sac.
03:23Hey, is it just me?
03:25Or is that plane flying really low?
03:27By the name of Wisteria Lane.
03:30Dad, I think it's gonna crash.
03:31Dad, I think it's gonna crash.
03:32The best Christmas ever.
03:33That's what the residents of Wisteria Lane were dreaming of as they prepared for their annual Yuletide Festival.
03:46So they hung up a banner, brought out their candy canes, and put up Santa's workshop as eager as children for the holiday to begin.
04:00Of course, some were more childish than others.
04:15Look at this mess.
04:16It's like Santa's colon.
04:17That's funny.
04:18Did you hear that?
04:19Hilarious.
04:20Almost as funny as when Orson said it last year.
04:22Okay.
04:23How about some Christmas music?
04:24Parker, you got that sound system fixed?
04:25Almost.
04:26Do we really want the kid working with electricity?
04:27He can't even get the newspaper on my porch.
04:28You're clumping.
04:31Hey, what is going on with you two?
04:32I don't wanna get into it.
04:33Well, whatever it is you need to work it out, we are caroling at the festival, and
04:35you're like, I'm sorry.
04:36Oh, I'm sorry.
04:37What's your turn?
04:38I'm sorry.
04:39I'm sorry.
04:40I'm sorry.
04:41You're sorry, I'm sorry.
04:42I'm sorry.
04:43No, you're not.
04:44I'm sorry.
04:45Oh, I'm sorry.
04:46I'm sorry.
04:47How about some Christmas music?
04:48Parker, you got that sound system fixed?
04:49Almost.
04:50Do we really want the kid working with electricity?
04:51He can't even get the newspaper on my porch.
04:52You're clumping.
04:53I don't want to get into it.
04:54Well, whatever it is, you need to work it out.
04:55We are caroling at the festival on Saturday,
04:58and we can't have two of our jingle bells fighting.
05:00You know, if you need a replacement,
05:01I've been told that I have a dusky alto.
05:03Don't we?
05:05Girls only. We're the jingle bells, not the jingle balls.
05:08Shouldn't you be out stealing the last can of Who Hash?
05:11You want to see me go all Grinch on your ass?
05:15To be honest, Brie,
05:16I don't think I'm going to be able to single from that after she...
05:19After she? What? Are you about to trash me?
05:21I have way too much glass to trash you,
05:22no matter how much you deserve it.
05:24Merry Christmas to me.
05:26What did she do?
05:28She's suing Carlos.
05:30You're suing him?
05:31Because he fired me.
05:32He fired her?
05:33Because she lied about being pregnant.
05:34You're pregnant?
05:35We're twins.
05:36You knew?
05:37I told her to keep it quiet.
05:39Congratulations.
05:40Sure take her side.
05:42She's not.
05:43Stop fighting.
05:45I mean, with all we've been through lately,
05:46Julie being attacked, Danny Boland's overdose,
05:48we really need some Christmas spirit around here.
05:52Susan's right.
05:54This is the time we should come together
05:56and celebrate peace on earth
05:58and goodwill towards men and...
06:01Oh, crap.
06:07Who's dead now?
06:11Yeah, what's going on?
06:13Something's happened to Catherine.
06:14Oh, my God.
06:17I was just there five minutes ago.
06:18Was she okay?
06:20She was really upset.
06:21I hope she didn't do something to herself.
06:25Hey, you're not going to believe this,
06:26but I just heard the cops say
06:28that someone stabbed Catherine right in the gut.
06:30What?
06:30Who would do that?
06:38You've got to be kidding me.
06:39Hey, there.
06:44How you feeling?
06:46A little hungry.
06:47That's because they pumped your stomach.
06:51But if you want, Tyler,
06:52I can have them bring you some soup.
06:56Why did you just call me that?
06:57You told me to last night.
06:58No, I didn't.
06:59Yes, you did.
07:00Twice.
07:01You were still a little groggy,
07:02but you definitely said your name was Tyler.
07:04Maybe I was dreaming.
07:05I was dreaming.
07:05My name's Danny.
07:12Okay.
07:16Can I see my mom?
07:19Please.
07:20I'm sorry.
07:21Not while you're under observation.
07:24I'll have someone bring you that soup.
07:27Danny.
07:30I don't get this.
07:31We gave you a check to cover the ambulance
07:33and everything else so far.
07:34I know, but we still need
07:35your insurance information, Mr. Bolin.
07:37It's hospital policy.
07:38Like us not being able to see our kid.
07:40So you have two stupid policies.
07:42There could be some unforeseen expenses.
07:44Tests we may have to run.
07:46If you don't have insurance,
07:47there are government programs.
07:49If you could just give me your information.
07:51No, we don't need a handout.
07:52We have cash.
07:54Thank you, though.
07:55Gail?
07:57Can I speak with the Bolins?
07:58I know what's going on.
08:04What do you mean?
08:06I knew something was up the moment
08:08you moved onto the lane.
08:10I mean, you never talk about your past.
08:13We're private people.
08:14Is there a law against that?
08:16Having no insurance,
08:17wanting to pay cash for everything,
08:18having a son who can't remember
08:20if his name is Danny or Tyler.
08:21Where are you going with all this, Mona?
08:28You're in the witness protection program,
08:29aren't you?
08:33Huh.
08:35You are one short cookie.
08:40How'd you figure it out?
08:42Honestly, once I noticed you were Italian,
08:44I just kind of went from there.
08:47No offense.
08:49None taken.
08:49I can't believe I'm right.
08:52So, what went down?
08:54You witness a hit?
08:56Did you rat on one of the five families?
08:58We, um, we can't talk about it, Mona.
09:02And neither can you.
09:04To anybody.
09:05Of course not.
09:06Because if you do say anything,
09:10we're going to have to have you whacked.
09:19Any more news about Mike and Catherine?
09:34No, but I'm sure he'll be exonerated.
09:37Mike could never do something that awful.
09:40That's my breed.
09:42Always seeing the good in people.
09:43Yes.
09:45Well, um...
09:48Forgive me for starting your day on a sour note,
09:52but I filed for divorce.
09:53Here are the papers,
09:55and if you try to stop me,
09:57your parole officer will see these.
10:01Consorting with a known felon is a parole violation.
10:04If you send me to jail for fraud,
10:05you're going with me.
10:07It's over, Orson.
10:12This must have been quite a project for you.
10:16Finding Lamar, setting up the camera.
10:19Sorry to put you through so much needless trouble.
10:21I would hardly say needless.
10:23Without these, you'd still have a gun to my head.
10:26Do you really think I would send you to jail?
10:29It's what you've been threatening.
10:31I was bluffing, Bree.
10:33Right from the start.
10:34I could never hurt you that badly, no matter what.
10:39You didn't need these.
10:40You could have called my bluff and walked away any time.
10:47I suppose the fact that you did believe me,
10:49that you actually thought I'd destroy you,
10:51just out of spite,
10:52that alone should have told me it was over.
10:58I will pack after breakfast.
10:59For what it's worth,
11:04I'm sorry it had to end this way.
11:07Me too.
11:13These scones you made
11:14are delicious.
11:16I'll miss them.
11:17Here's Catherine's room.
11:31Now, you might hear some screams for help in there.
11:33Ignore them.
11:34Is this what you meant by
11:35I'll behave calmly and rationally?
11:37That was just to get you to unlock the car door.
11:39Susan, you've got to go in there
11:40and be Catherine Mayfair's best friend
11:42because she could put Mike away for a very long time.
11:44I know.
11:45I know.
11:48Might help if you give her these.
11:49Good idea.
11:50She pisses me off.
11:51I can crack the vase over her head.
12:01No, Dylan.
12:02The police have everything under control.
12:04There's no reason for you to fly out here.
12:09Uh, honey?
12:10I've got a visitor.
12:11I've got to go.
12:11Okay, talk to you later.
12:17Susan.
12:18Come in.
12:20Hi, Catherine.
12:24Oh, what a sweet gift.
12:28I didn't even think I'd see you here.
12:33Well, I was concerned about you, Catherine.
12:36A lot of people are.
12:38Actually, the one they should be concerned about is you.
12:42Why is that?
12:45Because the man you just married turned out to be a maniac.
12:49Yeah, um...
12:50About that, uh...
12:54We both know...
12:59That Mike didn't do this.
13:04Really?
13:08I've got seven stitches and a knife with Mike's fingerprints that say otherwise.
13:14It doesn't make any sense.
13:27Why would Mike want to stab you?
13:29Well, if you must know, I told him I was in love with someone else, and he flew into a rage.
13:43Will you stop lying?
13:45If you don't tell the truth soon, you are sending an innocent man to jail.
13:48You are taking a father away from his son.
13:52It's Mike's fault, not mine.
13:54Catherine, please!
13:56Even though I am so angry with him,
14:00when you think about it, it's really kind of flattering
14:03to go this far to keep me from being with someone else.
14:06So how did it go?
14:16I don't know anymore.
14:18I can't tell if she's crazy or just devious.
14:21I think she's a little of both.
14:23Okay.
14:24So tell me how I get the crazy part committed.
14:27Only a family member can commit somebody to an institution.
14:31Really?
14:36Excuse me.
14:37I was just with my friend Catherine in 607,
14:39and she was talking to her daughter,
14:41and she wanted me to follow up about something.
14:44Do you have that number?
14:46Dylan Mayfair?
14:48Yes.
14:48Would you mind dialing that number?
14:50Certainly.
14:53There you go.
14:59Hello.
15:00This is Dr. Brewster calling from Fairview General.
15:03I understand that you were just speaking with your mother.
15:09Right.
15:10But I do feel, given her condition,
15:13it is important for you to come here if you can.
15:17Lovely.
15:18See you soon.
15:22Now that's devious.
15:2750 cents off paper towels.
15:29That's a great coupon.
15:30This is fun.
15:31Yeah, it sure is.
15:32And me doing my own roots is going to be fun,
15:34and getting rid of cable is going to be fun.
15:36We're going to be having so much fun around here.
15:39Mommy?
15:39Hmm?
15:40Are we poor?
15:41Oh.
15:43Only financially.
15:47Hey, don't forget that one.
15:49Probably only in a can.
15:51I like poor food.
15:59What'd they say?
15:59I've attended classes for six weeks.
16:02They won't refund any of my tuition.
16:05Unbelievable.
16:06Is there a sign over us that says crap here?
16:09It'll be okay.
16:10I'm looking for a job,
16:11and in the meantime,
16:12we've got enough money to live on for the next four months.
16:15So we'll run out right before the babies are born.
16:19Yes.
16:20But remember,
16:21kids don't miss what they never had.
16:23Ah, my food, clothing, sober mother.
16:30I am so sorry.
16:33For what?
16:33For what I have done to this family,
16:36you have to drop out of school.
16:39Penny is clipping coupons.
16:42I have really, really screwed this up.
16:45Well, we'll get some money if we win the lawsuit.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Won't that be great?
16:52Living off the money we made,
16:53suing our best friends.
16:55At least Gabby tried to apologize and stop this.
17:01Well,
17:02maybe it's your turn.
17:10Damn it!
17:12Whatever it is, I can explain.
17:14That was the chairman of my board.
17:16This Lynette thing is turning into a fiasco.
17:18I thought that lawyer said
17:20you did everything by the book that we recovered.
17:23It doesn't matter what the lawyer said.
17:25Bottom line is
17:25it looks bad for Global Venture.
17:27A big corporation going after a pregnant woman.
17:30So what's going to happen?
17:32If this suit goes to trial,
17:34I'm done.
17:37And even if it doesn't,
17:38I might still lose my job.
17:40I've put everything into this company.
17:43Carlos!
17:45Carlos!
17:45Carlos!
17:55Hi, I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to.
17:59You got that right.
18:05It's done, Carl.
18:07Orson signed the papers.
18:08Yes.
18:10I know.
18:12I've never been happier.
18:14I absolutely want to see you two.
18:16Meet me at the motel
18:17and we'll
18:18find a way to celebrate.
18:21Till then, my darling.
18:22When you move on,
18:26you don't waste any time.
18:30I'm sorry.
18:32I wanted to tell you this morning,
18:33but I
18:34felt I'd hurt you enough for one day.
18:37Much better
18:40to parcel out the pain.
18:42Is it someone I know?
18:47No.
18:47Oh, never mind.
18:48I can't handle that right now.
18:51Just, uh,
18:52tell me this.
18:54Have you told your friends
18:55you're seeing anyone?
18:57Of course not.
18:59Good.
19:01Please don't until I'm gone.
19:04I'm saying goodbye to everyone
19:05at the party tomorrow.
19:06I don't want it to turn
19:07into a pity fest
19:08for poor Orson.
19:11I won't go public
19:13with my new relationship
19:14until we're divorced.
19:18And I'll say
19:18we started seeing each other
19:20after you and I separated.
19:25What a tasteful solution.
19:27You must write
19:28an etiquette book
19:29for adulterers.
19:33I don't blame you
19:35for being angry.
19:36And I give you my word
19:37I will not let my affair
19:38be an embarrassment to you.
19:41So when the plane flies
19:42over the Christmas party,
19:43I want it pulling
19:44a big-ass banner
19:45that reads,
19:46Will you marry me, Bree?
19:49Love, Carl.
19:50Oh, it's not romantic.
19:52Glorious.
19:52That'll be $600.
19:54I don't care.
19:55Can't put a price on love.
19:57He can.
19:57Our anniversary,
19:59$20 gift certificate
20:00to a rib joint.
20:01Well, you didn't have
20:02to cook that night,
20:02so the gift was
20:03for both of us.
20:05Good luck, Mr. Meyer.
20:06I hope this breeze
20:07says yes.
20:09Almost as much
20:10as I wish I'd said no.
20:14What it's worth,
20:16I'm a divorce, Meyer.
20:18Oh, God's sake, Jeff.
20:20Look at the mess in here.
20:23Do you have a card?
20:24Dylan?
20:34Dylan?
20:35I have nothing
20:36to say to you.
20:37I know what your mother
20:38must have told you.
20:39It's what she told everyone,
20:40but it's not true.
20:41Do you really think
20:42I'm going to take
20:42your word over hers?
20:44Please.
20:44I am so worried
20:46about your mom.
20:46I am not just thinking
20:47about mine.
20:48The hell you're not.
20:49Get over him.
20:50He's married to my mother.
20:52What?
20:53You know,
20:54it's bad enough
20:54that you make a scene
20:55at their wedding
20:56and you hound them
20:56night and day
20:57and you stab her
20:58because you can't have him?
21:00Is that what she told you?
21:02I don't know why
21:03you're not locked up right now.
21:04You're crazy.
21:06Dylan!
21:08We need to talk.
21:15Oh, my God.
21:22I don't understand.
21:23And for months,
21:24my mom has been telling me
21:25about her life with Mike.
21:27The gifts that he's given her
21:28and trips that they've planned.
21:33Your mom needs help.
21:36And so does Mike.
21:42What do you want me to do?
21:44Hey, good news.
21:50Dr. Chang says I can give your parents
21:53an early Christmas present.
21:56You're released.
21:57Grab your stuff.
21:58I'm taking you home.
22:07Thanks for the ride.
22:08Happy to help.
22:09I can't imagine how tough it is
22:12for you guys to live this way.
22:14What way?
22:16Running all these years,
22:18always looking over your shoulder.
22:24Relax, Danny.
22:25Your parents told me
22:26about your situation.
22:27Well, actually,
22:29I figured it out.
22:30Your mom just filled in the details.
22:34Why would she do that?
22:36Well, frankly,
22:37I think she was glad
22:38to finally find someone
22:39she could be honest with.
22:41And that goes for you, too.
22:43If you ever need to talk,
22:44you can trust me.
22:45I hope so.
22:50Because if you say anything,
22:51they're going to throw
22:51my mom in jail.
22:53No.
22:54It doesn't work that way.
22:58Are you kidding?
23:02Ever since 9-11,
23:03the feds are hardcore
23:04on any terrorist stuff.
23:06Even the old cases.
23:10If they find her,
23:11she's dead.
23:11What do you mean?
23:22Danny!
23:24I thought we were
23:24picking you up tomorrow.
23:26Mom, I screwed up.
23:27What are you talking about?
23:32I told Mona everything.
23:41Hey, Mona.
23:53Thanks for giving Danny a ride.
23:55And I am so sorry
23:56he dragged you
23:57into our family drama.
24:07I mean,
24:07you know better than anyone
24:08what a bad headspace
24:09he's in right now.
24:10He's so angry
24:12at me and his dad.
24:13He just
24:13wants to hurt us.
24:15Which would explain
24:16the wild story
24:16he just told you.
24:21So,
24:22you good?
24:24I hate my job.
24:27All I do
24:27is deal with
24:28disturbed people.
24:30Wipe their drool,
24:32strap them down.
24:33I hate it.
24:34I hate it.
24:36Well,
24:37maybe you should
24:38get a different job?
24:39I wanted to.
24:41But they say
24:42you should have
24:42a year's worth
24:43of living expenses.
24:44And I didn't know
24:45where I'd get the money.
24:49$67,000.
24:52That's what I've needed
24:53to cover my mortgage,
24:54my car,
24:55everything for a year.
24:58Mona.
24:59$67,000.
25:02If you could
25:03do that for me,
25:04then we'd all be free.
25:14Hey, Mom.
25:16Ah, Dylan.
25:19What are you doing here?
25:20I asked you not to come.
25:23I had to.
25:24You were hurt.
25:25Have you been to the house?
25:31Oh, I'm so sorry.
25:32Mike wasn't there
25:33to welcome you.
25:34He's away in business.
25:38No, he's in jail.
25:40You told the police
25:41he stabbed you.
25:43I never said that.
25:46I told you.
25:47Susan attacked me.
25:49Then why did
25:50the police arrest Mike?
25:53I don't know.
25:55Maybe he confessed
25:57to protect her.
26:00Mom.
26:02Susan's his wife.
26:06That's ridiculous.
26:08Who told you that, Susan?
26:10No, Mike.
26:14They let me speak with him.
26:17Mom, Mike is in jail
26:18and that's not right
26:19if he didn't do anything.
26:20I don't know.
26:25Did you stab yourself?
26:33Mom, did you?
26:37I asked you not to come.
26:42You don't understand.
26:45Just entrapped him.
26:47Pulled his head in lies.
26:49This is gonna save him.
26:51He knows the way I did it.
26:53He wants this.
27:00What is she doing here?
27:02I want to help you, Catherine.
27:10I have to get to Mike.
27:12He's expecting me for...
27:14I don't think so.
27:15Please, I have to go.
27:16Mrs. Mayfair.
27:20Mom, please.
27:22Everything's gonna be wonderful.
27:24I have to get to Mike.
27:26You need some help here.
27:28Mrs. Mayfair, please, Mrs. Mayfair.
27:29Help me, Mrs. Mayfair.
27:30Help me, Mrs. Mayfair.
27:30No, no, no, no.
27:33Please, Mrs. Mayfair,
27:34we're trying to help you.
27:38Okay, it's okay.
27:39Honey, everything's gonna be okay.
27:41I asked you not to go.
27:55Hey, wait up.
27:55I want to go with you.
27:56Can I have one moment apiece?
27:57Our therapist said we need to do more stuff together.
27:59I know.
28:00That's why I don't go to the therapist with you.
28:02Oh, come on.
28:02Would it kill you to spend some time
28:03with the woman you love?
28:05I don't know.
28:05Would you be upset if I brought her?
28:07As long as she doesn't deflate in the plane.
28:11Gabby, please talk to me.
28:16I feel just awful.
28:18You know why?
28:18Because you are awful.
28:19You're an awful person.
28:20Okay, you have every right to be mad at me.
28:22Thanks, Lynette.
28:23And you have every right to go to hell.
28:24Stop talking to me.
28:28Thank you all for coming out
28:30to our annual holiday festival.
28:32And as it's been our tradition
28:33these last 12 years,
28:35please welcome back
28:36The Jingle Bells.
28:40All right, ladies.
28:41Sparkle.
28:43I can't believe they wouldn't let you sing with them.
28:45It's their group.
28:46They can do whatever they want.
28:47Whores.
28:50Saturday night
28:51Holy night
28:54Do you mind?
28:55You're blocking me with your big fat head.
28:58I thought we weren't talking.
28:59You know, I was trying to apologize.
29:07Well, it's too late.
29:08Carlos is not going to lose his job
29:09over the stuff you're putting him through.
29:11Gee, I wonder what that feels like.
29:14She's in heavenly peace
29:17By the way, because your husband canned me,
29:18Tom had to quit school.
29:20Oh, the 45-year-old freshman has to drop out.
29:22Maybe he'll get a paper out.
29:23Move.
29:24No.
29:25Fine.
29:26You want to be a jerk?
29:27No.
29:27Gabby, give me my hand.
29:28No, no.
29:29Give me my hand back.
29:31Give me my hand back to me.
29:32Give me my hand back.
29:33Gabby, all is calm.
29:34All is calm.
29:35She's starting this.
29:36She's being a bitch.
29:38I don't remember the word bitch being in the song.
29:40Oh, no.
29:40It's always been there.
29:43You are...
29:44We are going to take a little break.
29:56Mid-song.
29:56And we will be right back.
29:58Have a little punch.
30:04I realize you two were having a problem.
30:06A giant problem.
30:06And now half a fair few does too.
30:08So A, you're fired.
30:10And B, work it out.
30:15Gabby, I'm sorry about everything,
30:16but you have no idea what losing my job has done to my family.
30:19I'll boo-hoo you.
30:21Why don't you slip your cankles into my shoes and walk a mile?
30:23You just don't care about anyone but yourself.
30:27No, I do.
30:27I care about my friends.
30:29Sorry you are no longer a part of that group.
30:30I'm in.
30:37It's a Christmas miracle.
30:43We can't just let some stupid housewife shake us down for 67 grand.
30:46Nick, what do you want from me?
30:47We got to try to make this go away.
30:49We got the emergency tent, Grandma.
30:53That is a long way from 67,000.
31:02Maybe this will get us closer.
31:05Oh, you little...
31:06Now, don't be careful, you little...
31:08Why don't you get in, Sophie?
31:11Excuse me.
31:13Carl, what are you doing here?
31:15I just thought I'd come by and give you an early Christmas present.
31:18Stop it.
31:19We can't be seen together.
31:20It's the big deal.
31:21Susan knows.
31:22The cat's out of the bag.
31:23Orson doesn't know.
31:24You didn't tell her?
31:25About the affair, yes, but he has no idea it's you.
31:27Now, Carl, please go.
31:29I promised him there'd be no scenes today.
31:31Carl?
31:32Oh, Lord.
31:35Hey, Orson.
31:36Just came by to check on the decorations.
31:38Great job, Mrs. Hodge.
31:39Save it, Carl.
31:41I'm not an idiot.
31:41Orson, please.
31:42You obviously heard Brie and I are divorcing,
31:45and vulture that you are,
31:47you've swooped in to make a buck by representing Brie.
31:52Hey, a man's got to eat.
31:54Perhaps.
31:55But soliciting business at a Christmas party?
31:58That's tacky.
31:59Even for you, Carl.
32:02If this is who you want representing you, that's your choice.
32:04But frankly, I thought you had higher standards.
32:07Remind me not to let him make a toast at our wedding.
32:14That's not funny.
32:15Carl won't just go before he figures it out.
32:17Yeah, about that.
32:19You know that Christmas present I mentioned?
32:20Don't you dare give me a present in front of all these people.
32:23I'm not sure I can stop it.
32:24It's being delivered by air.
32:27Carl, what did you do?
32:29Just let me make one quick call.
32:31Mayday!
32:37Mayday!
32:38God.
32:39Why don't you turn this thing on?
32:41Somebody help!
32:42I don't know how to fly!
32:51Okay.
32:52I released the banner.
32:53Now what?
32:54Look for a place to land,
32:55a field, a large parking lot.
32:57All I see are neighborhoods.
32:59The negative street landing is too dangerous.
33:01Well, that's all there is!
33:03What do you want from me?
33:04Okay.
33:05Calm down.
33:06Keep her steady.
33:09Jeff, it's Carl.
33:10Are you there?
33:11Hello?
33:13Come on, pick up.
33:15Okay.
33:15If you get this message,
33:16please, please get this message.
33:18You need to abort.
33:19Do not, repeat,
33:21do not fly over Worcesteria Park with that banner.
33:23What banner?
33:24Call me.
33:25Carl, what?
33:27You know how you're always saying to me
33:28I should be more romantic?
33:30Well, I thought,
33:31what if I hire a plane
33:32to fly over Bree's street
33:34carrying a banner
33:34with a heartfelt personal message?
33:36Carl, when you put a message on a banner,
33:37it ceases to be personal.
33:39What does it say?
33:40Uh, something like, uh,
33:43Bree, will you marry me, love Carl?
33:45Oh, dear God!
33:46I was trying to be romantic.
33:47Carl, when we began this affair,
33:49we agreed to be discreet.
33:50Do you know what discreet means?
33:51No skywriting!
33:52Oh, God!
33:56Poor Orson!
33:57Do you know how humiliated he'll be?
34:00I have to warn him.
34:02Bree, wait!
34:04I made this mess.
34:05I'll deal with it.
34:07Orson deserves the truth,
34:08and he should hear it from me,
34:09not a banner.
34:10But I...
34:11You got a minute?
34:18I need to talk to you.
34:19What, here?
34:21Can it wait?
34:22Uh, not really.
34:30If this is about the settlement,
34:31I told Bree there's very little I want.
34:34That's not the problem.
34:35It's what I want.
34:38Bree.
34:40You're too late.
34:40She has a boyfriend.
34:46You?
34:47Hey, if I were a betting man,
34:48I'd have lost a bundle on this, too.
34:51So, wait.
34:53You were having sex with my wife.
34:57The point is,
34:58we don't want to make this any harder for you
34:59than it has to be.
35:01I just wanted to warn you
35:03that in a few minutes...
35:04Okay, you're the husband.
35:08I'll give you that one.
35:09I'm trying to spare your feelings,
35:12which is why...
35:13That's it.
35:17To hell with your feelings.
35:19I'm proposing to Bree today
35:21with an airplane banner,
35:23and trust me,
35:24that will be the highlight of your day.
35:25One moment, please.
35:38Hi.
35:39Hi.
35:40Have you been to see Santa yet?
35:42Uh-uh.
35:42Do you want me to take you?
35:44Yeah?
35:44Okay.
35:44Yeah, yeah.
35:45Come on.
35:48I will take you to see Santa.
35:58Hey.
36:00Oh.
36:01We're gonna do this right here,
36:02just like that?
36:05This seems like a pretty small envelope
36:07for such a big secret.
36:09It's $10,000.
36:11And my wedding rate.
36:12It was my grandmother's.
36:15It's all we have right now.
36:16But...
36:17I gave notice at the hospital.
36:20I can't go back there.
36:22Lana,
36:23that's the best we can do.
36:26Well, I have a job at Breeze.
36:27I pay the rest as I make it.
36:29Sure.
36:30Until you disappear into thin air.
36:32Just because I have lawn gnomes
36:34doesn't mean I'm stupid.
36:37You don't know the whole story.
36:39I know.
36:39You killed someone
36:41and walked away scot-free.
36:43Scot-free?
36:46Does this look scot-free?
36:50I don't think Danny told you
36:51the whole story.
36:53But maybe you should hear it.
36:55Four miles I ran today,
36:57and now I'm drinking eggnog.
36:58It's like mayonnaise with rum in it.
37:01Excuse me.
37:25What are you doing?
37:26Stop it!
37:27This is ridiculous, please!
37:29Oh, for God's sake!
37:31Stop it!
37:32And that was 18 years ago,
37:33and we've been looking
37:33over our shoulders ever since.
37:35That sounds like
37:36a very reasonable story.
37:38So reasonable
37:39that I don't understand
37:40why you couldn't just
37:41call the police right now
37:42and explain it to them.
37:44Someone's dead.
37:45You know I can't do that.
37:47What I know is
37:48you've got till tomorrow
37:49to come up with the rest of the money
37:50or I go to the police.
37:52Capisce?
37:52Is it just me?
37:57Or is that plane
37:58flying really low?
38:02Mona,
38:03can we talk about this?
38:04Don't do this.
38:05You are screwing
38:06with people's lives here.
38:07This could blow up
38:07in your face.
38:0967,000 by tomorrow.
38:12What?
38:12I call the police.
38:13house, house, house!
38:26Hey, we're not done here.
38:28You can run,
38:29but you can't hide!
38:30You can run,
38:44but you can run.
38:45Run!
39:00The best Christmas ever.
39:06That's what everyone had wanted.
39:10But something went wrong.
39:14Horribly wrong.
39:17For those who survived,
39:19it would be a day they would try to forget.
39:23For those who didn't,
39:26this Christmas would simply be
39:28their last.
39:30For those who didn't,
39:31this Christmas would simply be their last.