Coronation Street 11th April 2025
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TVTranscript
00:00My concern is that
00:29the body of your symptoms, together with the TIA,
00:34might implicate the early onset of dementia.
00:39Get back to her!
00:41Oh!
00:42What are you doing here?
00:44Hello.
00:45Hello, darling.
00:46Thought it'd be surprising to take a little lady to the shops.
00:49What were you looking at?
00:50What?
00:51The outer face.
00:53Oh, yeah.
00:55I just got this message from Abby.
00:58That's weird.
00:59Yeah.
01:00I'm guessing she sent you that by mistake.
01:03Yeah.
01:04Yeah, right.
01:05Well, um, I best get back to her.
01:08Oh, before you run off, I've got a little surprise for you.
01:12Okay.
01:13Mm-hmm.
01:15Got your keys.
01:17Oh, what am I like, eh?
01:20You're welcome.
01:21Mm-hmm.
01:22See ya.
01:23See ya.
01:29I'm, er...
01:30I'm just gonna...
01:32pop out for a minute.
01:33Yeah, no worries.
01:35I'll check now.
01:36Right.
01:37Right.
01:38Right.
01:39What are you talking about?
01:40You're just a stupid woman.
01:41I sent it to you.
01:42Are those anti-sickness meds not working at all?
01:45I've not noticed today.
01:47Then tell me so I can get some more.
01:50I'm telling you now.
01:52Have you kept anything down?
01:55Can we not talk about this now?
01:57We have to.
01:58No, all right.
02:01I feel rotten.
02:02I feel sick and hungry at the same time and...
02:05there's no way I can go go-karting with Jack.
02:10There's something else which he's ruined, eh?
02:12You know what?
02:13It's all right.
02:14We'll postpone it.
02:15I'll sort it.
02:16Oh!
02:17Leave me alone!
02:18Er...
02:19Er...
02:20Right, okay.
02:21So I'll, er...
02:22I'll go pick up the meds and it's Friday which...
02:23which means it's chicken noodle soup date, Royce.
02:25So let's try that, yeah?
02:27Yeah.
02:28Right.
02:32Oh, hi, Ty.
02:33Yeah, a change of plan.
02:34I need you to come in.
02:40Ow!
02:41Er...
02:42I...I...I can't.
02:43Go here.
02:44Listen, the girls are off school.
02:45I've told you and Dorian's not even got a nurse here.
02:47Honestly, can you keep it down?
02:48You can hear your dad's on the phone.
02:49What's with the balloons, eh?
02:51Right, but why can't you check it?
02:52Why have I got a cheese?
02:53Well, there's no need for that, is there?
02:55Look, I've told you, I can't come in today.
02:57Not unless...
02:58I can't be swapping my shifts again.
02:59No, of course you can't.
03:00You hear that?
03:01She can't swap her shifts again, so...
03:02Listen, maybe we're just gonna have to cancel the sweet enough contract.
03:04Yes!
03:05But what else are we supposed to do?
03:06I can maybe talk to Carla again, maybe.
03:08Right, hang on, Abbie.
03:09Just give me two seconds.
03:10Fizzy's trying to talk to me.
03:11I'll see if I can go in late and then I'll have Dorian this morning.
03:14Well, I'll come look after him.
03:15Man the girls if you want.
03:16Er...
03:17Er...
03:18He's a bit all over the place cos he's missing his mum, you know, and he barely slapped last night.
03:22Yeah, he looks well cut up to me.
03:24Come on, stop it.
03:25No, we just wanna make sure that one of us is, like, with him all the time, don't we?
03:28Yeah, yeah.
03:29Yeah.
03:30Fair enough.
03:31I can look after the girls, though.
03:32I didn't mean, yeah, to you.
03:33Just give me two seconds, I'm trying to sort something...
03:35Charming.
03:36Oh, come on.
03:37Come on, I know I've got a lot of making up to do, but I can take them into town.
03:41Aw.
03:42Okay.
03:43Okay?
03:44Okay, yeah.
03:45No, I mean okay to you.
03:46Yeah, I can come in.
03:47Right.
03:48Yeah.
03:49All right.
03:50Yeah.
03:51She says thank you very much, Fizz.
03:52Thank you, Cassette.
03:53And she's swearing at me, standard.
03:54Right, tell me this part number then.
03:55What is it you're missing?
03:56I'll get it...
03:57Ow!
04:03Oh, you've got to be joking.
04:05I've literally just fixed this screen.
04:07Er...
04:08Damage.
04:09Er...
04:10No.
04:11Only to me dignity, Roy.
04:13Erm...
04:14Can I please get two chicken noodle soups take away?
04:17Certainly.
04:20I don't believe this.
04:21I forgot me purse for crying out loud.
04:24I'll pay.
04:25Sit yourself down before summer temps happens.
04:29Do you know what?
04:30I think I should just go to bed and start again.
04:32Is everything okay with Kev?
04:34No, it's fine.
04:36You know what?
04:37It's not fine.
04:38It's actually feeling pretty dreadful.
04:40Ends me heading into town for some sickness meds
04:42and a few bits of food he can actually keep down.
04:45Oh, that's a shame.
04:47I was going to invite you both to the bistro later.
04:50Double date with me and Ronnie.
04:53And you know what?
04:54I think I might...
04:55I think I might try and get him out.
04:57Because I think me and him cooked up together
04:58is making everything worse.
04:59So, what's the occasion?
05:02Nothing.
05:03I just thought we could hang out together.
05:08Still working then.
05:11Hello, Ty.
05:12What do you mean, Deborah don't know what you're talking about?
05:17No, I sent her the picture.
05:19Well, she saw it because the ticks turned...
05:22No, I sent it to her.
05:24Hang on a minute.
05:25You don't mean this, do you?
05:28I thought it was a funny thing to send me.
05:30Oh, my.
05:31I sent it to the wrong Debs.
05:33Yeah, I know, Ty.
05:35I know.
05:36Erm...
05:37I'm heading back now.
05:39Thank you, Roy.
05:40Er, just...
05:41Can you...
05:42Turn her on, put her on.
05:43I've got...
05:45Erm, Deborah, I...
05:46I'm so sorry.
05:47I'll see you later.
05:48I'm so sorry.
05:49You're not going to believe what I've just done.
05:52Poor Abby.
05:54We all have our senior moments, don't we?
05:57I thought you were the parcel guy.
06:04Ooh, I'm sorry to disappoint, Julie.
06:06Hi.
06:07No worries.
06:08Hi, everyone.
06:09Hiya.
06:10Ignore him.
06:11He's been in a grump all morning.
06:12It all went wrong with the closeted bloke off the internet.
06:14I mean, who'd have thought?
06:15Tell the world.
06:16It's Sean.
06:17It's Sean.
06:18Ergo, the world.
06:20Ergo, button it.
06:22Todd Grimshaw.
06:23Oh.
06:24You've been with a bloke off the internet, eh?
06:26Closeted.
06:27Been there.
06:28Bought the T-shirt.
06:29T-shirt with, er, er, printing across the front.
06:31How are you spelling, er, er, er, er, er?
06:33Don't worry about it.
06:34Please.
06:35But you really fell for him, though, didn't you?
06:36I could tell.
06:37You had the rosy glow of romance all over you.
06:39No, that was just his allergies playing up.
06:41Oh!
06:42Oh, go on, tell us about it.
06:43No.
06:44Oh, please.
06:45Humour a dying romantic.
06:47Oh, you did not just use the D-word card to try and wangle some gossip out of me?
06:51I did, yeah.
06:52Well, it's not going to work.
06:54And if you're going to do emotional blackmail, at least do it right.
06:59What are you in about?
07:01Well, come on.
07:02I can't be the only one that's thought like this.
07:05There are obvious perks to knowing when you're going to check out, aren't there?
07:11And just like that, the room darkened.
07:14Are these the conversations that you and George have at lunchtime?
07:17No, no, no.
07:18Are you talking about bucket lists?
07:20You know, asking to see the new Star Wars movie early because I'm not going to make the release date?
07:24Well, yeah, basically, but there doesn't need to be films, does it?
07:29Anything that you've always wanted to do.
07:31Holidays.
07:32Ever fancied, I don't know, cruising a fjord, seeing the Northern Lights?
07:36Or I saw them a few months ago.
07:38See, once you've seen the Aura Borealis winking off the roof of the Eagles Meadows Shopping Centre, Lapland seems like a bit of a waste.
07:45It's got a point, although I wouldn't call it emotional blackmail, but crowdfunding for a holiday or something you want to do.
07:56Stargazing under Damby Beacon.
08:00Followed by chips and gravy on the end of Saltburn Pier.
08:03Trip up the funicular.
08:05And there's this cottage that I stayed in once on the moors that...
08:08What?
08:10Well, I'd be lying if I said I haven't given it any thought.
08:13Well, there you go.
08:15No, it's too late.
08:17Todd?
08:18Crowdfunder.
08:19On it.
08:24Jenny!
08:25Yeah, I'll be right there.
08:28Of course, there's something where you can't get a drink in your own pub, is it?
08:31Oh, I don't know.
08:33To be so popular that I have to keep checking my phone every five seconds like a teenage little girl.
08:38Well, I don't know about every five seconds, Christina.
08:41I know. You're probably just missing your elusive Dominic, aren't you, love?
08:44Delivery for you.
08:45Well, why couldn't you have time for it?
08:47Dreaming too.
08:49Oh, it's fine. I'll wait.
08:53Honestly, Thomas, Sarah, has this place seemed a little bit, you know, off in the last few months?
08:58Off?
08:59Yeah, like, it's not really a happy place to come and have a quiet pint.
09:03Thanks.
09:05Kit!
09:07It's the man. You're going to want to hear about this. It's about a wonderful, romantic, but sadly strapped for cash lady called Julie.
09:13Julie.
09:14Right.
09:15Who is also unfortunately dying.
09:18Sorry to interrupt.
09:20Todd, mate, could I have a word, please?
09:23Hold that thought.
09:25What do you say we caught the beast all for?
09:31Because you said you were bored being cooped up.
09:33I thought you'd like it.
09:35Oh, yeah. I'll be a laugh a minute.
09:39Look, don't worry about frescoes. I can make an order.
09:43I'm here now, Kev.
09:46OK.
09:49See you later.
09:51OK.
09:52Bye, then.
10:02You have got to be kidding me!
10:09What are you playing at?
10:10What am I playing at? What are you playing at?
10:12I was reversing into that space.
10:13No, you weren't. You were just sat there.
10:15About to reverse.
10:16Oh, right, and me being psychic, I'm just meant to pick that up, am I?
10:20Have you heard of an indicator?
10:21Have you heard of charging into people's space?
10:23Oh, your space!
10:25Shut up!
10:26Wow, very nice. Very nice.
10:28Well, lucky for you, I hardly touched you.
10:31You're lucky for me.
10:33What do you mean you hardly touched me? That dent wasn't there before.
10:36Which dent?
10:37That dent. The one your insurers is forking out for.
10:40Right, A, there's no way that I just did that.
10:42And B!
10:43Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
10:44There is no B!
10:45You charged into me.
10:46You were paying.
10:47And one more smart comment and I'm going to knock your teeth out.
10:51Wow, you seem pretty angry.
10:52Maybe you need to talk to someone about that.
10:55Believe me, after the day I've had you, do not want to push me.
10:59What happened, love? Did you break a nail?
11:02I'm sorry, that wasn't called for.
11:03Yeah, that wasn't called for.
11:04Do you want to know what's happened, what's been happening?
11:07Honestly, no.
11:09I was on the phone to my husband.
11:10He's got cancer.
11:12And I am trying to be nice to him, but it is hard because he's angry a lot, you see.
11:15I think it's pushing me away.
11:16And it's funny, she said, because I have been talking to someone.
11:20I've just finished having treatment for PTSD after having a young lad dying my arms.
11:24He was stabbed to death.
11:26But yeah, you keep making your little jokes.
11:29I'm sorry.
11:30It's a girl horse.
11:31No, no, really, I'm sorry.
11:32It's a girl horse!
11:33You've got to be joking.
11:56You all right?
11:58No, he's fine.
11:59I've always had him.
12:00I just have to look at my nose and he starts bleeding.
12:02No, I'd get that checked out.
12:03It'll be low iron, wasn't it?
12:05Thanks for the advice.
12:08So, you're not going to, like, press charges or anything?
12:12Oh, and here it was me thinking you were concerned for my health.
12:15No, I'm not going to press charges for you punching my nose.
12:18Oh, come on.
12:19It wasn't a punch.
12:20I barely touched you.
12:21It was more, more like a waft.
12:25Oh, okay.
12:26Well, no, I'm not going to press charges for you wafting my nose.
12:30Right.
12:31What's up?
12:33And let's just, let's just call it quits rather, don't we?
12:36That's not my dent.
12:37That's totally your dent.
12:38You know what I mean?
12:39It doesn't matter.
12:40It doesn't matter.
12:41Let's just draw a line under it.
12:42I'll pack over there.
12:43And you can have this one.
12:45Oh, thank you very much.
12:46Very kind of you.
12:47No, no.
12:48No, no.
12:49No, no, no.
12:50No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
13:19It's not even my car. Borrowing it from a mate.
13:21Pop the hood.
13:23Popped it? What do you mean, popped it?
13:25Who even are you? And why do you think you can fix it?
13:28I'm a mechanic. And Coz, I'm a mechanic.
13:36Don't tell me you're thinking about getting back together with Cassie.
13:38Right, no, no, no. Evelyn.
13:42I mean, I'm not saying she scared me off.
13:44She scared you off.
13:45She's very scary.
13:46Yeah, fair enough.
13:48Well, let's go get awkward.
13:52Hello, sweetheart.
13:53Hello.
13:54Oh, talking to her, are you?
13:56Yeah.
13:58Aw.
14:00Keep it to yourself, Roy.
14:02But Tim's thinking about getting us into fostering.
14:06Are you not enamoured of the idea?
14:08Well, I like the idea.
14:09Well, I like the idea.
14:10And as you know, I'm all very well for helping people who are less fortunate, and obviously
14:15children are our future, but...
14:17Indeed.
14:18Well, it's less the idea, it's more the practicality. I mean, to be honest, I thought my days of mopping
14:23snotty noses was over.
14:26Well, it's not without its challenges, but fostering provided Hayley and I with some of the most memorable moments of our relationship.
14:36Can't be a horror film if it's a 12-year.
14:38Well, it sounds like a horror to me.
14:40I thought you were taking them to town.
14:44Yeah, we're on our way now.
14:46What do you mean, guessed?
14:47I don't know, just sort of looked at her and winked.
14:49Just brilliant, mate.
14:50Thanks a bunch, yeah?
14:51I didn't know, did I?
14:52Yeah, thanks.
14:53Excuse me.
14:54Here comes cake.
14:56Oh, yeah, I love it.
14:58You know, Roy was just saying that fostering was one of the best things that you ever did.
15:03Oh, yeah, they fostered fizz, didn't they?
15:05Well, that worked out well.
15:06What?
15:07Well, it doesn't always, you know, work out well.
15:10Yeah, I know.
15:11You don't always get a fizz or a Layla.
15:13Oh, can you imagine that?
15:15Yeah.
15:16And can you imagine if you get a, you know, a hope?
15:20I hope.
15:21Oh, yeah.
15:22But, look, let me, let me look into it.
15:25Really?
15:26I'm not promising anything, but I'll have another look.
15:29Okay.
15:32See you, mate.
15:33Oh, hey, see you, mate, yeah.
15:38Listen, if they were to go on the road, I've got an hour free for lunch.
15:42A whole hour.
15:43Oh, yeah.
15:44I mean, give or take five, six minutes for me to, um, eat me sandwich.
15:49Oh, you old romantic.
15:50Oh.
15:51No.
15:52I've said I'd look after them.
15:54Then I wouldn't have to look at the pictures by themselves.
15:56You know the way Ty worries about them, and to be fair,
15:59Hope did just try and enjoy your ride on her scooter.
16:02Yeah.
16:03A little psych.
16:04I know.
16:05Hmm.
16:06Hmm.
16:07Hmm.
16:08Hmm.
16:09I suppose I could walk the most of the way.
16:13I could help you sell my tent.
16:15Yeah.
16:16Hmm.
16:17Girls.
16:18Change of plan.
16:20Roy.
16:21Can you have a bag, please?
16:22Yeah.
16:26Honestly, Carla, you don't need to worry.
16:28I know, I know I've been a bit distracted.
16:30Look, it's not that.
16:31And, and, and I have had a few problems getting a business loan.
16:34Look, it can't wait anymore.
16:35Okay?
16:36It's going on the market.
16:37So whoever makes a decent offer...
16:38No, I, I am getting the money.
16:40Jenny.
16:41Time's up.
16:42I'm sorry.
16:43Look.
16:44Betsy lent me that money, okay?
16:47And it was from her dead mother, Becky.
16:50I can't be indebted to a child any longer.
16:53All right?
16:54Whether it's you who buys it, I don't mind.
16:57But it's going on the market, and I need the money now.
17:01So, I've rang the software company, and the new reservation system should be up and running
17:09today.
17:10Now, if it's not, tell me, and I'll raise Marielle with them.
17:14Okey-dokey, Shirley.
17:16Yes, I think that's everything.
17:18Deb, I just spoke to Tim.
17:21Candice, wait.
17:22I do really need to crack on.
17:23You didn't deserve to find out like that.
17:25You deserve fireworks and, and sunsets, and, and, and the most romantic surprise proposal
17:30ever known, but it's all out of the bag now.
17:32So, Debby Webster.
17:33No.
17:34Will you?
17:35No.
17:36Just, no.
17:38Okay?
17:41I love you.
17:43You're the most wonderful man I've ever met, but I don't want to get married.
17:48Not now.
17:50Okay?
17:51Please.
17:53Don't do this.
17:55Okay.
17:56I'm sorry.
17:57I...
17:58Yeah.
17:59Yeah.
18:00Yeah, you don't need to explain.
18:01I sort of do.
18:02I do.
18:03Yeah.
18:04But not on my knees.
18:05In the hotel lobby.
18:06It's a flippin' heck!
18:08What was it?
18:09It's Kevin looking for Abby.
18:10She's not answering the phone.
18:11And, um, I really do need to get to this meeting now.
18:12So, you go home and I'll see you at the Bistro.
18:14Yeah?
18:15Okay.
18:16Okay.
18:17Okay.
18:18Okay.
18:19Okay.
18:20A truly rewarding experience.
18:23Well, that's what Roy said.
18:24Mm.
18:25We could really do this, you know?
18:26I thought we were going to the cinema.
18:27No.
18:28No.
18:29No.
18:30No.
18:31No.
18:32No.
18:33No.
18:34No.
18:35No.
18:36No.
18:37No.
18:38No.
18:39No.
18:40No.
18:41No.
18:42No.
18:43No.
18:44No.
18:45No.
18:46No.
18:47No.
18:48We're making cinema.
18:49Go on.
18:50Are you filming?
18:51Brand or joke number seven.
18:52An oldie bit of goodie.
18:53Cos it's like I said to Roy, children are our future.
18:54Oh!
18:55Oh!
18:56Oh!
18:57Oh!
18:58Oh!
18:59Oh!
19:00Oh!
19:01Oh!
19:02Oh!
19:03Oh!
19:04Oh!
19:05Oh!
19:06Oh!
19:07Oh!
19:08Oh!
19:09Oh!
19:10Oh!
19:11Oh!
19:12Oh!
19:13Oh!
19:14Oh!
19:15Oh!
19:16Oh!
19:17Oh!
19:18Oh!
19:19Oh!
19:20Oh!
19:21Oh!
19:22Oh, yeah.
19:23That butty was lovely.
19:24It was a nice sandwich.
19:25Mmm.
19:26And the trip to the cinema was the best.
19:28You know what?
19:29The bread was good.
19:30The cheese was just the right thickness.
19:32The pickle.
19:33Oh!
19:34Oh!
19:35Wait a minute.
19:36Wait a minute.
19:37You actually are talking about the butty, aren't you?
19:39Yeah.
19:40Oh! You're...
19:46Well, no, look, listen, you know, I mean, the sandwich, you know, was all right,
19:50but the pudding was, er...
19:53Mmm, the pudding.
19:55Yeah, the pudding.
19:56Oh, come here!
19:58Whoa!
20:00Girls!
20:02What are you doing here?
20:04Er, what are we doing here? Sorry, what's he doing here?
20:07Hello.
20:09What have you done?
20:11Nothing! We've been here all this time.
20:14Well, that's what you're gonna say.
20:16Unless you want everybody knowing about, er, that.
20:25I'm just saying, you snooze, you lose.
20:27Flipping heck you say that, do you?
20:29My three-year-old says that.
20:32Er, will you pass me the tester?
20:35Oh, he's obviously a very clever lad. He knows his onions.
20:38He knows his.
20:39Onions.
20:40Onions!
20:41Mm-hmm.
20:43How's it looking?
20:45Er, as someone who knows her onions, I would say it's looking awful.
20:49Do you want me to laugh?
20:50That's a shame, I'm enjoying this now.
20:55Don't suppose you fancy getting a drink after?
20:57Are you trying to pick me up?
21:00After nicking me parking space, ramming me car and having a right go at me?
21:05Er, I did none of those things, alright.
21:08But, yeah, I am totally trying to pick you up.
21:11I mean, you're funny.
21:12You're gorgeous.
21:13And you can mend cars.
21:14I'm actually considering proposing marriage.
21:18Er, well...
21:19Somebody bait you to it.
21:20Yeah, but he's trying to push you away.
21:24S-sorry.
21:25Yeah, shouldn't I say that?
21:26You said he was sick.
21:27Yeah, I'm not...
21:28I'm not just with him cos he's sick.
21:29Didn't say you were.
21:33He wouldn't have to know, though, would he?
21:34Two strangers, a couple of hours in a nice hotel,
21:39near the bad days feeling a whole lot better,
21:42before they never see each other again.
21:52No, obviously, no.
21:54Obviously.
21:55No, obviously that would be a bad idea.
21:59Well, I'm glad I didn't propose now.
22:01That would have been awkward, eh?
22:02Yeah.
22:18Right, try it now.
22:21You beauty.
22:32So, if I need you, who should I call?
22:40Ghostbusters.
22:41Which garage?
22:43I am married.
22:44Yeah, but are you happy?
22:46Get that coolant topped up at your local garage.
22:49It's a long way away.
22:51You're lucky I didn't need your details.
22:52Well, I'd gladly hand him over.
22:54Maybe I should drive into the back here properly.
23:00Give you no choice.
23:01Then things would get messy.
23:03That would be the idea.
23:06Have a nice life.
23:07Do you always do the dishes after having sex?
23:08Hope!
23:09Oh, thank God for that.
23:10It's Sally.
23:11Don't open it.
23:12What's Sally doing here?
23:13Girls, I know you're in now!
23:14Oh, she must have seen his quick hide.
23:19Right, what have you done?
23:20Nothing!
23:21I'm added as well.
23:22Don't go upstairs.
23:23Do you always do the dishes after having sex?
23:25Who?
23:26Oh, thank God for that.
23:28It's Sally. Don't open it.
23:30What's Sally doing here?
23:31Girls, I know you're in now!
23:33Oh, she must have seen his quick hide.
23:36What have you done? Nothing.
23:38I might did as well.
23:39When you go upstairs.
23:40Deny everything. Won't be a minute.
23:42Hello.
23:44Where are they?
23:45Who?
23:46They threw a balloon over my fence.
23:48A balloon? Don't they float?
23:50A water balloon.
23:52Oh.
23:53And they were filming us too.
23:55Where's that gonna end up, eh? On some group chat?
23:57Or even worse, the internet.
23:59Why, what were you doing?
24:00You weren't doing anything.
24:01So what's your problem then?
24:02Come out, girls, and say you're sorry!
24:04They're not here!
24:05They must think I'm stupid!
24:08Did you find them?
24:09Oh, Tim! Why don't you come in as well?
24:12Oh, they're all plain silly beggars.
24:14And this one.
24:15Come on, leave it.
24:16No, I'm not gonna leave it. I demand an apology.
24:19And I want that footage wiped.
24:20It's an invasion of our privacy.
24:23There must be a law against that, Tim.
24:24Yeah, they were bang out of order, them kids.
24:26And when Fizz and Tyrone find out, they'll do their nut.
24:28It was a water balloon.
24:29Do you know what I was doing at their age?
24:31Well, I suppose when you put it like that.
24:32Tim!
24:33Well, I mean, they could be in the bedroom playing video games, or even worse, smoking a crack pipe down the park.
24:38Yeah, playing out's good. They're getting fresh air, they're climbing trees and hijinks.
24:42Hijinks?
24:43Yeah, hijinks.
24:44Look, why don't you two just carry on this discussion at home, yeah?
24:47I'll be telling their parents to think we can't even relax in our own back garden. It's pathetic.
24:53Come on, love. Nobody's gonna apologise.
24:55You girls, you just remember this. Throwing balloons, one thing, but filming us, cross the line.
25:01And close the door on the way out.
25:04Legend!
25:08You! You're too old to be playing with balloons.
25:11Oh, maybe I'll just get on crack then.
25:12That's even worse than you.
25:13Cheeky.
25:14We can't even relax in our own garden.
25:17Say, yeah?
25:18Oh, as you are.
25:22Oh, funny.
25:23Oh.
25:24Ew.
25:28Are we having starters?
25:30We should wait for Abbie, really.
25:32But, yeah, you have what you like.
25:35I wish you'd hurry up.
25:37I can't decide between the calamari or the pate.
25:41Oh, I'm not sure I could keep the calamari down.
25:43Is it still that bad?
25:45I'll hold it down while you eat it.
25:46There's got to be a joke in there somewhere.
25:48Hold his arms. He's got eight of them.
25:50Hey, is it arms or tentacles? Is calamari...
25:53...squid or octopus?
25:55Octopus.
25:56Squid.
25:57Oh, eight squid, 50.
25:59So, do you still feel a bit sick?
26:02There she is now.
26:03Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
26:05Where have you been?
26:07Long story.
26:08Have you ordered?
26:10It looked like it.
26:11Eight arms, two tentacles.
26:13Calamari is Italian for squid.
26:16And beaks.
26:18What?
26:18Squids are beaks.
26:21He's losing his marbles.
26:22What's the soup of the day?
26:24Alphabet.
26:25Huh.
26:32I thought you were going to work, love.
26:35Tim, I'm not sure I want to foster.
26:38What, because of what happened this afternoon?
26:40No, not just because of that.
26:42Well, there'll be bigger challenges than water bombs.
26:44I know there would, and I can't face them.
26:46Of course you can.
26:47I was an analogue parent.
26:49It depressed me, them filming us like that.
26:52Well, they were just being kids.
26:53That's all.
26:55Come on, think about all the kids out there
26:57that haven't got a home that need love.
26:59Think about what Royce said.
27:00Think about this house and what we could provide.
27:02I like my house as it is.
27:04You said it was too quiet the other day.
27:05Well, I'm missing the girls, Tim.
27:06I'm ready for retirement, not more kids.
27:10Well, we couldn't save Mason,
27:11but we could save somebody else.
27:13Well, maybe we couldn't.
27:15You can't talk about that.
27:20Do you think I've been selfish?
27:22No, you're not being selfish.
27:26I just got a bit excited, that's all.
27:28I know you did.
27:29But they wouldn't stay forever, you know.
27:31You'd get quiet time in between.
27:33Yeah, but we'd grow attached, and then we'd have to say goodbye.
27:36Okay, right, okay.
27:39So, which is it?
27:40You like it when it's quiet, or you're frightened that you love them too much?
27:42The girl lives in France.
27:43Imagine the life that she's living.
27:46I want to do something like that.
27:48Well, it's the first I've heard of it.
27:50You know, learn a new language,
27:52potter about in my ramshackle French garden,
27:55cycling back from the boulangerie with a baguette.
28:00Well, you've lost me now.
28:02Well, I am allowed to change my mind.
28:05And I know you're disappointed, but the girls were tricky enough,
28:09and I was young and fit in those days.
28:12I should be knitting booties for their kids.
28:25I think a sister's going off me.
28:28What, you two had a barney?
28:32She said she's not interested in marriage.
28:35He should be out celebrating.
28:38Look, you can't blame her.
28:40She's come this far.
28:42It's not a be-all and end-all.
28:43You can still be together without being married.
28:47Or if she, um...
28:49No, or if she wants to call her quits.
28:53She'll come round.
28:59Well, that was embarrassing.
29:00That was a heck.
29:02She's just an old spoiled sport like my mother.
29:04I was on Hope and Ruby's side a thousand percent.
29:07No, I meant what Hope said about us.
29:10Disrespectful. That's kids today for you.
29:13Well, maybe we should knock it on the head again.
29:16Yeah, yeah, I know. Fine.
29:19But you know you will text me again in the next hour, like you did last time?
29:22Oh, because you sent me that photo.
29:23Have you still got it?
29:24Yeah, it's my screen-saving.
29:25Oh, no way!
29:27Yeah, oh, I deleted it.
29:28Amy's always in me phone.
29:29Well, does she go through, like, all your photos?
29:32Yeah, she was looking for pictures of when she was a kid.
29:34Oh, yeah, well, Hope and Ruby are the same.
29:38I wonder if my mother's got any old photos of me.
29:40Probably some odd faded Polaroid somewhere.
29:43Yeah, well, I mean, our Andy is Butch and Sundance.
29:46Some school fancy dress thing.
29:48Oh, I bet you were dead cute as a kid.
29:50Adorable.
29:51Oh, you know.
29:53I quite like all this sneaking round.
29:56I mean, why scare the horses?
29:58We could pretend that we're married.
30:01I am married.
30:02Even naughtier.
30:05Are the girls definitely out?
30:06Yeah.
30:07Yeah, come on, then.
30:08Whoa-ho-ho!
30:09Woo-hoo!
30:09Wee-hee!
30:10Woo!
30:11Oh, no!
30:12No way!
30:13Oh!
30:14Oh!
30:14Steve!
30:16Oh.
30:16Steve!
30:18She was just booking a cab.
30:23He wasn't looking where he was going.
30:25But he didn't actually touch you.
30:27Well, we kissed bumpers.
30:28Ooh!
30:29Could have been worse if they were only kissing.
30:31You know that really old dent?
30:33Mm?
30:34Oh, I made out about you, did it?
30:36What?
30:37You blame that on him?
30:39I was just so angry.
30:40It was the arrogance.
30:42He was the one who wasn't concentrating.
30:44So what happened?
30:45Well, he went back to his car after I wiped the floor with him,
30:48and it wouldn't start.
30:50Oh!
30:51So did you help him?
30:53Good Samaritan, that I am.
30:54Should have charged him.
30:56Was he fit?
30:56What's that got to do with it?
30:58It's just an innocent question.
31:00Huh?
31:00Well?
31:02Totally unmemorable.
31:07I just wanted your word.
31:09I wouldn't dream of making a scene at your mother-in-law's funeral.
31:14I'm insulted.
31:15I was making sure.
31:18I think I'd sacrifice my career.
31:19And as for evil, what happened between us?
31:26Look, I hooked up with someone the other night, all right?
31:28You are just a distant memory, a funny anecdote I might tell one day.
31:33Don't worry, I'll change your name and your job.
31:36Keep your eye calling the same, though.
31:46Who was he?
31:48He was someone who's not married to a woman.
31:51Fine.
31:52Fine.
31:52Well, I'll tell you what, don't look in my direction tomorrow,
31:55because I'll be holding Daniel's hand all day.
31:56I'll try and contain myself.
31:59You don't have to be like that.
32:01Come on.
32:01Who do you think I am?
32:02What, you really think I'd make a show of myself?
32:04Look, clambering over the pews during the eulogy to stop you holding your wife's hand.
32:09I'm an undertaker, and my dignity's all I've got.
32:12I shall go.
32:15No-one will stop you.
32:22Look, I'm not dangerous or desperate.
32:28I'm a nervous wreck.
32:33See you tomorrow.
32:38See you.
32:42There you go, white wine spitzer.
32:44Cheers.
32:45I'll have another one of these if you're offering.
32:48I'm not.
32:50I'll get them.
32:52What's this in, Adolf?
32:54My horse came in.
32:55Oh, I didn't know you gambled.
32:57Three o'clock at Leopardstown.
32:59It's 2.20.
33:01Oh, feel free to get your cell phone.
33:03Oh, I will let it go on this occasion, cheers.
33:06Another notch in your bedpost.
33:08Plenty of room on my bedpost.
33:11I'm practically a virgin.
33:12Sure enough thought you were one.
33:15Well, you can vouch for me, can't you, Daze?
33:17You can vouch for yourself at all very much.
33:20Thanks.
33:23How's the steak and kidney pie?
33:25What, you mean steak and kidney?
33:26That's what I said, didn't I?
33:30Oh, our dad used to say that all the time,
33:32used to think it was the funniest thing on the earth.
33:35Mind you, he never had a sense of humour.
33:38Well, he passed that gene on.
33:42Excuse me, is this seat taken?
33:44Oh, no!
33:46Hey, what are you doing here?
33:49Oh, wow, this is a sight for sore eyes.
33:52Oh, Carl.
33:56You must be the one, Ronnie.
33:57Yeah, that'll be me.
33:58Welcome.
33:58Good to meet you, mate.
33:59Thought you might be over to your visit.
34:01Oh, a little stranger.
34:04Abby, meet Carl, my brother.
34:06Carl, meet Abby, the wife.
34:10Nice to meet you, Abby.
34:14The pleasure's all yours.
34:16Oh, boy, that is tight.
34:36I love Craig.
34:37I love him, too.
34:38It's just Bans.
34:38Oh, is Bans a polite word for flirting?
34:42I do not fancy PC Tinker.
34:44So, what are the nicknames you've got for him?
34:47Henry Tinkler.
34:48Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
34:50Thanks, kiddo.
34:52Oh, you should know what we call garlic on him.
35:00What do you make of that over there?
35:01Oh, well, I'm no anthropologist, obviously,
35:05but I would say he likes her, she likes him.
35:10When I was collecting the glasses earlier,
35:12he was bragging about some big case he's working on.
35:15Well, you see, she's easily impressed.
35:19Do you know what?
35:20I had a fling with a copper once.
35:21Not one like him.
35:22Mine was proper Bobby on the beat, full uniform.
35:27Sure, I wasn't a stripper, Graham.
35:29It's put Madam's nose out of joint.
35:33She gets over him easily enough.
35:35Madam couldn't give him one case.
35:36So, you see, he slept with Sarah's sister-in-law.
35:43What are they like, them blats?
35:45They'll all be playing a banjo next.
35:48OK, so, you don't fancy Craig?
35:50Is there anyone that you do fancy?
35:53What round here?
35:55Er, I wouldn't want to say.
35:59I've got a couple of friends if you, you know,
36:01want me to hook you up with anyone.
36:03I'm off the market.
36:04Yeah, me too, till at least Christmas.
36:07Next Easter.
36:08Oh, stay strong.
36:12And then she tried to make out he did it.
36:15Wait, so the dent was there before?
36:17I did it about three years ago,
36:18taking our Jack to football training.
36:20And she looked so innocent.
36:21And when the bloke got back in his car?
36:24It wouldn't stop.
36:25Erm, who's telling this story, me or you?
36:28All right, keep me on.
36:29I hope you stopped to help him.
36:31Oh, she did, yeah.
36:32Free of charge.
36:33She should have rinsed him.
36:34That's what I would have done.
36:35Would you, eh?
36:36You're as decent as the day is long.
36:38Oh, now with Kevin.
36:42Well, I may as well address the elephant in the room.
36:47Erm, sorry to hear you've been ill.
36:49Soon have it kicked to the curb, I'm sure.
36:55Too right.
36:58You'll need her more than ever.
37:00Some say it's harder for the spouse.
37:03Maybe so.
37:06Here we go.
37:07I need water.
37:09And last but not least, the man of the house, Dorian.
37:17Oh, yeah, I suppose you think that's dead funny.
37:19Dad, chill.
37:21I can't believe you told on us.
37:22I did not tell on you.
37:24I just confirmed what they already knew.
37:26Six messages Sally sent me.
37:27Yeah, and I had four off, Tim.
37:29I hope you've deleted all that footage.
37:31Yeah, we did.
37:31You better not have uploaded it.
37:33We didn't.
37:34You both go mad honestly when I take photos of you.
37:36Stop filming me.
37:37Don't put that anywhere.
37:38So how do you think they felt?
37:40If Sally filmed you and then put the video online
37:42without you knowing, you'd be mortified.
37:44She's right, girls.
37:46Actually, you two are supposed to set a good example for your brother.
37:49Do you think you could do that?
37:50Because to be honest with you, I'm not so sure.
37:51In fact, I've had it up to here with you.
37:54Girls!
37:56Granny Cass loves Amy's dad.
37:59Now, this is exactly what we're talking about.
38:01Less of this cheek.
38:02For starters, I do not love him.
38:04And secondly, can we just keep all laugh between the five of us?
38:08Six.
38:09And certainly don't go telling you-know-who.
38:12Who?
38:13Nanny.
38:13Oh, fine.
38:14Do you know what?
38:15Here's an idea.
38:16Why don't we all try and be quiet for five minutes, eh?
38:19And I'll speak to you later.
38:23Yeah, I'm so sorry.
38:24Can you repeat that, please?
38:25You'd be charged in isolation.
38:27You should have got internet.
38:27It's a licence to print money.
38:30First big contract was a shopping mall in Dresden.
38:32Literally raining euros.
38:34And where is the memory service department?
38:36I suppose I should write that down in case I forget.
38:43Yeah, I bet you hear that all the time.
38:46So I just get there tomorrow, the time of my appointment, yeah?
38:50Okay, thanks.
38:54You must know your way around an engine, then.
38:57Diagnostics, mainly.
38:58Oh, sorry about that.
39:01Work.
39:02How is faulty towels?
39:04In general?
39:05Yeah.
39:05I'd say it was good, wouldn't you?
39:06Yeah, people always need a place to stay.
39:09Speaking of which, has the presidential suite got my name on it?
39:13No, our couches.
39:16Choice is yours.
39:18Breakfast included?
39:20Well, traditional or continental.
39:22Memory foam pillows?
39:24I still can't believe you're here.
39:26Look who it is.
39:27Hey, Uncle Ronaldo.
39:29Well, if it isn't, Jack Webster.
39:32It's an Uncle Carl.
39:34Good to see you, come on.
39:36Oh, cheers.
39:37Who's that?
39:37That's yours.
39:38Hey, he's not had his tea yet.
39:40Ignore the fun police.
39:42Get stuck in, lad.
39:44Let me get you a chair.
39:50I don't blame her.
39:52Why you want to foster at your age is beyond me.
39:55I'm in my prime.
39:57You're stuck together with sellotape and string.
40:00My ticker's in good health.
40:02I could just see it from Sally's side.
40:05That's all I'm saying.
40:06Well, she was all guns a-blazing at lunchtime.
40:09Obviously a reminder.
40:10It was a water balloon.
40:12Yeah, it was just the tip of the iceberg.
40:14I mean, kids can be a nightmare.
40:15You should know your Faye got pregnant at 12.
40:1713.
40:17Todd still owes me last month's rent.
40:20And he used all the hot water this morning.
40:22You could foster him.
40:24I could have saved Mason from dying.
40:26What, by taking him under your wing?
40:28You know it doesn't work like that.
40:29They do what they want and then they do the opposite of what you tell them.
40:32I could have taken him to county.
40:34Fishing, maybe.
40:35Well, you can't do it on your own.
40:37So if Sally's out, that's it.
40:40You should be thanking Tyrone and his kids.
40:43But I'm serious about Todd.
40:45You're welcome to him.
40:50Straight cars.
40:53Come on then, turn them over.
40:54What, what's it?
40:56No.
40:58Come on then.
40:59If you haven't found some, you have to turn them back on the wrong way.
41:04Let's get it over with.
41:06Well, you were supposed to take the girls to the pictures,
41:08but oh no, you bent them off, didn't you?
41:10So you could have fun with your boyfriend.
41:12He's not my boyfriend.
41:14Well, that's even worse.
41:15Sneaking about the place, poisoning pensioners, lying to our neighbours.
41:19You know, Sally, Sally is a good friend.
41:21What?
41:21No!
41:23I was taking the girls' side.
41:24I thought you'd be glad about that.
41:27Do you know, every time I walk through that door, I think to myself,
41:29what has she done now, eh?
41:30Oh, would you rather that it's boring?
41:32I was...
41:32I was bad.
41:33Yeah, do you want me to be boring?
41:34I'm worried, actually.
41:35Yes.
41:36Look, I really like Steve.
41:40A lot.
41:41Ugh.
41:42Well, that's going to spread like wildfire over there.
41:44Who cares about who I like?
41:46It's Ken's son-in-law.
41:47Well, I can't help it if you can't resist me.
41:50Oh, go on, send me another ace of selfie.
41:52What?
41:54Um, nothing.
41:56Right, I'm going to get dressed.
41:57Well, that makes a change.
41:58Look!
42:00Will you stop being so mardy?
42:03Every time I walk through that door, I think,
42:06what's it going to have the hump about today?
42:08We didn't go to the pictures because there was nothing the girls fancied.
42:11I'm a 50-something-year-old woman and I'm your mother.
42:15And I don't need you taking me off.
42:19Especially in front of the family.
42:23Trying my best, you know.
42:26Imagine if it was never good enough.
42:29Come on, then.
42:37Right, I'd better go and get Alfredo settled.
42:40Oh, well, good luck.
42:41Wendy gave him two chock-icers.
42:42He'll be pinging off the walls.
42:44Oh, he deserves it.
42:45Cute kid.
42:46Hey, he's chuffed to bits.
42:48Nice touch.
42:48Getting a shame.
42:49Yeah, and Jack loved his tracksuit.
42:51What use am I if I don't come bearing gifts?
42:53Well, you can teach him a bit of German.
42:55I told him he was robbed 15 years ago when Lampard's goal was disallowed.
43:00They thought he was payback.
43:01What, 66?
43:02That had crossed the line as well.
43:03Kevin.
43:05Well, talk amongst yourselves.
43:06Oh, and read him a story.
43:07Otherwise, I'd be too excited to go to sleep.
43:13So, uh, Alfie's the solicitor's boy?
43:17Alfie's Kevin's boy.
43:18If you want to cause trouble, presidential suite.
43:23You pretended that I put a dent in his car and that was when you liked me?
43:27You deserved it.
43:29I think someone else should have a story read to them.
43:32In case they're too excited to go to sleep, huh?
43:36Oh, come on.
43:36I didn't know who you were, all right?
43:38I was just a single bloke flirting in a car park.
43:41You're loving this.
43:42I didn't do anything dishonest.
43:44I am counting down the hours until you're gone.
43:49Start the clock then.
44:03For the first time ever, theaters across the country host Sharon Marshall as she sits down with the stars of Coronation Street for a night of laughs, nostalgia and backstage secrets.
44:12An audience with Coronation Street.
44:14For tickets and more, visit itv.com slash coronationstreet.
44:18Next, who's going home?
44:20It's Celebrity Big Brother, Live Eviction.
44:23It's Celebrity Big Brother, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction, Live Eviction Eviction, Live Eviction Eviction Eviction, Live Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Eviction Ev