The Studio Episode 1
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Come on, die for me!
00:13That's it. Die for me, baby!
00:30So it's you, huh?
00:48You think you got what it takes to be the boss?
00:53Shit, that crowd's so fucking heavy it'll break your neck.
00:59I'm the only one keeping us from being the thing of the past.
01:09You're gonna do good, kid.
01:12You know how I know why?
01:16You're the best teacher there is.
01:19And bang!
01:22Cut!
01:23Tail sleep.
01:24Yes.
01:25Yup, yup, yup, yup.
01:27Excellent work.
01:28Excellent work, man.
01:29Good job.
01:30I know, man.
01:31Am I spitting too much?
01:32Is it too spitty?
01:33No, hell no.
01:34It's just, like, excellent spit.
01:35Okay, what about a hard look of regret?
01:37I did a little something different with my eyebrows there.
01:38Is that reading?
01:39Yeah, yeah.
01:40I completely saw it.
01:41I mean, hell yes, I saw it.
01:43It's excellent.
01:44We're gonna go again.
01:45Maybe try just a little bit of resignation.
01:47Ooh, I like that.
01:48We're going again.
01:49No regret.
01:50Alright, stand by to go again, guys.
01:51Lock it up.
01:52Yeah.
01:53You got it?
01:54Nice.
01:55You're good?
01:56Let's do it.
01:57Uh, hey guys, I may need a few extra minutes.
01:58The fake blood is fully in my underpants now, so...
02:01Bloody underpants.
02:02Don't let HR hear about that one.
02:04Tommy, how you doing, man?
02:05Matt.
02:06Hey, great to see you.
02:07Oh, Matt.
02:08Listen, Matt, he's our studio guy.
02:09Oh!
02:10The exec on the film, Matt Remick.
02:11All right.
02:12Such a big fan of yours, Paul.
02:13Thanks.
02:14That's amazing, actually.
02:15You should do that more, you know?
02:16You saw my film?
02:17I saw it.
02:18I love wildlife.
02:19It's incredible.
02:20The way you shot it...
02:21Oh!
02:22Sorry, one sec.
02:23What if I went from regret to resignation to acceptance?
02:25Acceptance.
02:26I love it.
02:27Show me.
02:28Yes.
02:29Yes.
02:30Yeah.
02:31Okay.
02:32You good?
02:33Let's go.
02:34All right, let's go.
02:35Again, I love it.
02:36Thanks for coming back.
02:37Yeah, no problem.
02:38I had an idea, actually, that I was gonna run by for the scene.
02:39Buddy, we're good on ideas.
02:40Thanks.
02:41But I'll see you at Charlize's party, right?
02:43Yeah, of course.
02:44I'll see you there.
02:45Why wouldn't I be there?
02:46Great, great, great to see you, Paul.
02:48Keep it up.
02:49Yep.
02:50All right.
02:52Hey, Quinn.
02:53Was I invited to some Charlize Theron party this weekend?
02:55What?
02:56No.
02:57Why would Charlize Theron invite you to her party?
02:58You're always asking if you're invited to some celebrity's party,
03:01and the answer is always no.
03:02Great, thank you.
03:03What do I have now?
03:04A meeting with the Jenga people.
03:06Fuck, that's right.
03:07Yesterday it was Rubik's Cube and now Jenga.
03:09Patty's the head of the studio.
03:10Her corporate overlords want us to make more movies based on known brands,
03:13so I gotta take the fucking meeting.
03:15So now what do you do?
03:16You make a Jenga movie?
03:17No.
03:18You take the meeting, and then you don't make the fucking movie,
03:20and you focus on making an actual good movie.
03:22Oh, my God.
03:23This is so depressing.
03:24I'm like 30 years too late to this fucking industry.
03:26I know.
03:27Trust me.
03:28If it was up to me, we'd be focusing on making the next Rosemary's Baby,
03:30or Annie Hall, or, you know, some great film that wasn't directed by a fucking pervert.
03:35Turns out perverts make great movies.
03:36They really do.
03:37A building designed by Frank Lloyd Wright in 1927 in his signature Mayan revival style.
03:43It was built to literally be a temple of cinema.
03:47Temple of cinema.
03:49And they want me to make movies out of fucking wooden blocks.
03:51Yeah.
03:52Hey, what up?
03:53Hey, do I smell?
03:54I didn't go home last night.
03:55Yes, you really smell like vodka.
03:58Oh, just vodka?
03:59That's fine.
04:00Got shit-faced with Pedro Pascal.
04:01I got him to sign off on the reshoots for Mom's party,
04:03but gotta focus, because Griffin Mill is here in Patty's MIA.
04:08CEO showing up unannounced.
04:10Shit is going down, Matt.
04:12It's going down.
04:13Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
04:15Griffin Mill is here, and no one knows where Patty is?
04:18Yes, yes, and I think it's happening.
04:20Patty's gonzo.
04:21She's gotta be.
04:22Ten straight bonds.
04:23She gave all her dumb-ass friends overalls.
04:25She spent $30 million restoring this building.
04:27She's done.
04:28And I kinda feel like I'm gonna replace her.
04:32I mean, I kinda also feel as though I could replace her.
04:38Oh, yeah, no, yeah, of course.
04:40You never know.
04:41No matter what, our friendship cannot be affected.
04:43Of course, yeah, yeah.
04:44When it happens, I got you, dog.
04:45I love you.
04:46Esther Chang, right now.
04:48Quinn.
04:49Quinn.
04:50Quinn.
04:51Quinn.
04:52Quinn.
04:53You will never believe what Sal just said.
04:55Patty's fired.
04:56I just talked to her assistant.
04:57She's out.
04:58Oh, my God!
04:59The story is about to break on deadline.
05:00Oh, my God!
05:01Apparently, she came to the office a mess and then just spit off the lot.
05:03Yes!
05:04Yes!
05:05I knew this was gonna happen!
05:06I mean, it's very sad, and I love Patty, but this could be my time.
05:11Does Griffin Mill like you?
05:12Honestly, I don't know.
05:13I've only met him, like, a couple times since he's been in charge, and he's very hard to
05:18read.
05:19Matt Remick's office?
05:20Yes.
05:21Yes.
05:22Of course.
05:23Griffin Mill wants to see you right now.
05:26He's set up in scenic painting.
05:28I'm about to get promoted or fired.
05:33But if I get this job, I'm bumping you up to creative executive.
05:37Holy shit!
05:38I thought you only ever said that so I wouldn't quit.
05:40I did, but I also meant it.
05:52Would you like a green juice or anything?
05:54Oh, I'm okay.
05:59You can go right in.
06:10Welcome.
06:12Sorry about the strange surroundings.
06:15I just had some business I needed to take care of, and I thought a discreet environment
06:25might be thoughtful.
06:26Of course, yeah.
06:27Discretion is key.
06:28Yes, exactly.
06:29Because nobody wants to hear somebody else crying and losing their shit while being fired.
06:33Here, have a seat.
06:34Um, Matthew, out of respect, I'm going to get right down to business.
06:46Patty's time has come and gone, and I'm seriously considering you to replace her.
06:51Oh, my God.
06:52Yes.
06:53Yes.
06:54I'm the guy.
06:55I'm the guy for the job.
06:56Why are you?
06:57Tell me that.
06:58Why are you the guy?
06:59Well, um, I've worked at Continental for 22 years.
07:01I bought the original spec script for MK Ultra, which, as I'm sure you know, spawned a franchise
07:05that's made us over $3 billion for the-
07:07Hey, Rene!
07:08Where the fuck's my green juice?
07:10You want a green juice?
07:11Uh, yeah, I'd love one.
07:13Two green juices!
07:14Now!
07:15Yes, sir.
07:16Sorry.
07:17Continue.
07:18Film is my life.
07:20Ever since I came to the studio as a kid and went on the tour, being the head of Continental
07:26is the only job I've ever wanted.
07:28That is adorable.
07:30All right, well, listen, I honestly just have one strong reservation about you.
07:34Oh.
07:35I've heard you are really into artsy, fartsy filmmaking bullshit.
07:41Now, you're obsessed with actors and directors liking you rather than being obsessed with
07:48making this studio as much money as possible.
07:51Me?
07:52Yeah.
07:53That could not be further from the truth.
07:55I am as bottom line oriented as anyone in this town.
07:59I believe you.
08:01Great.
08:02Good.
08:03Good.
08:04Because at Continental, we don't make films.
08:07We make movies.
08:09Movies!
08:10That people want to pay to see.
08:13Yes.
08:14Come here.
08:15I got a little secret for you.
08:17Not for anyone else to hear this, but I am very close to closing on the deal to get
08:23the rights to Kool-Aid.
08:24And I'm talking a huge four-quadrant version of it.
08:30Kool-Aid.
08:31Kool-Aid.
08:32The red drink?
08:33Yeah.
08:34The guy who breaks through walls and says, oh yeah?
08:36Yes.
08:37That is fucking perfect.
08:40Perfect.
08:41That's exactly what we should be doing, Mr. Mill.
08:44Yes.
08:45Finally, someone who gets it.
08:46Oh, I get it.
08:47Oh, my God.
08:48That's great.
08:49Yes.
08:50Because look, if Warner Brothers can make a billion fucking dollars off the plastic tits
08:55of a pussy-less doll, we should be able to make two billion dollars off the legacy brand
09:01of Kool-Aid.
09:04Can you make that happen?
09:07Oh, yeah.
09:08I get it.
09:10Yeah, you get it.
09:11And you get it.
09:12Yeah.
09:13Now, let's go get it.
09:15Let's get it.
09:17All right.
09:18All right.
09:19Did I get the job?
09:21Oh, yeah.
09:25Matt?
09:26Everyone's gathering in the conference room.
09:28Oh, great.
09:29Thank you, Petra.
09:30Um, question.
09:31Has Patty returned any of my phone calls?
09:33Patty?
09:34Patty Lee?
09:35The lady whose job I just took?
09:36Patty?
09:37Patty Lee?
09:38The lady whose job I just took?
09:39Patty?
09:40No.
09:41No.
09:42No.
09:43No.
09:44No.
09:45No.
09:46No.
09:47No.
09:48No.
09:49No.
09:50No.
09:51No.
09:52No.
09:53No.
09:54No.
09:55No.
09:56No.
09:57No, no.
09:58She hasn't called back.
09:59Sorry.
10:00So many new names.
10:01It's really hard.
10:02It's a lot to process.
10:03They get it.
10:04Quinn!
10:05Hey.
10:06You ready?
10:07Your first big meeting as creative executive?
10:08Yes.
10:09I'm so fucking ready.
10:10You got your little notebook and everything.
10:11Big dog.
10:12Congrats, man.
10:14Yo.
10:15Like we talked about.
10:16This cannot get in the way of our friendship, right?
10:17Of course, man.
10:18Now that I'm a big dog, I got yo back, man.
10:19I haven't seen it.
10:20Oh.
10:21I'm gonna take it.
10:22I'm gonna take it.
10:23I'll beat me up.
10:24Come on, man.
10:25Fuck this shit.
10:34He says hi.
10:35Oh.
10:36Cool.
10:37Thanks.
10:38Hey.
10:39Hi, Tyler.
10:40Next time the variety wants to interview, why don't you check in with marketing first,
10:43so we can get a decent picture of this guy.
10:45I actually quite like the photo they used.
10:47Oh, really?
10:48The lighting too?
10:49Yeah.
10:50Look.
10:51Okay.
10:52Thank you everyone for assembling.
10:53You know, I just kind of want to get the core team together for what I guess is the
10:57first official meeting of the Remick years.
11:00Now, I know Patty was like a mentor to all of us, but that doesn't mean I'm not going
11:05to do things, you know, a little bit differently for, as I very eloquently said in my interview
11:10with Variety.
11:11You know, prestige films and box office hits, those are not mutually exclusive.
11:16Oh, no.
11:17We can do both and we will do both.
11:19And that is why I am excited to announce that we are fast-tracking a Kool-Aid movie.
11:25Wait, what?
11:26Let's fucking go!
11:27Yes!
11:28I was hammering Patty to make moves like this for, like, months.
11:29Oh, my God.
11:30We can get Mr. B's to put a bunch of people in a giant picture of Kool-Aid, see how long
11:32they can hold their breath for money.
11:33Oh, actually, that would crush.
11:34Right?
11:35I could sell the fuck out of this.
11:36That is amazing, Mayan.
11:37I'm glad you like it, and you're liking it even more when you hear my take.
11:38I can't wait.
11:39So, what made Barbie stand out so much in the marketplace?
11:40Famous white people.
11:41Kinda.
11:42It was actually one quasi-famous white lady, Greta Gerwig.
11:46That's the reason Barbie worked.
11:47It had a writer-director behind it.
11:48It was a filmmaker's vision.
11:49So, that's what we're going to do with that.
11:50We're going to get Mr. B's to put a bunch of people in a giant picture of Kool-Aid,
11:51see how long they can hold their breath for money.
11:52Ooh, actually, that would crush, right?
11:53I could sell the fuck out of this.
11:54That is amazing, Mayan.
11:55It was actually one quasi-famous white lady, Greta Gerwig.
11:59That's the reason Barbie worked.
12:00It had a writer-director behind it.
12:02It was a filmmaker's vision.
12:04So, that's what we're going to do with Kool-Aid.
12:06We are going to make the auteur-driven, Oscar-winning Kool-Aid film.
12:10Oh, fuck me.
12:11You want to make a fucking fancy Kool-Aid movie?
12:14Why?
12:15Why?
12:16Nobody even fucking watches the Oscars anymore.
12:18Did Mario Brothers win an Oscar?
12:20No, it did not.
12:21No, it didn't.
12:22But you know when it did win?
12:25$1.3 billion.
12:27So, this could be our death.
12:29Yeah, I'm going to make $1.3 billion,
12:31but I'm also going to make a great film, alright?
12:34Hey, Petra!
12:35Set some meetings!
12:37Only the finest of auteurs for Kool-Aid.
12:40Oh, yeah.
12:42You got to accent
12:44to ace the positive and 11
12:48beneath the negative and latch on
12:52to the affirmative...
12:54Sir, I'm confused.
12:55Why are we making the Kool-Aid movie?
12:57You hate this stupid IP shit.
12:58You just gave this jerk-off interview
13:00about how you want to make cinematic works of art.
13:02I know.
13:03Look, Griffin Mill would only give me this job
13:04if I agreed to make the Kool-Aid movie.
13:06Oh.
13:07Yeah.
13:08Okay, that makes a lot more sense.
13:09Yeah.
13:10Because when this shit's announced,
13:11you're going to look like a fucking hypocrite.
13:12I was going to say a fucking idiot, but...
13:13Yeah, unless we make the fancy version of Kool-Aid.
13:15Then I actually look like a fucking genius, you know?
13:17See what the agents got for us.
13:18Hey, Mitch Leitz!
13:19Hey!
13:20And they say there's no more Jews working in Hollywood, huh?
13:22Hilarious.
13:23Look at this.
13:24We're almost to a minion.
13:25Yeah.
13:26Hilarious.
13:27You guys need some Manischewitz, huh?
13:28Shake a fucking lulau?
13:29Yeah, we're all Jewish.
13:30It's very, very funny.
13:31Look, uh...
13:32It's a Kool-Aid movie, and we're really interested in meeting with some of your clients.
13:34Yeah, so I gave him a heads up.
13:35I, uh, spoke to, uh, Nick Stoller.
13:37And he, uh...
13:38It took him a second to wrap his head around it, but yeah, he's got a pitch.
13:41I really like Nick Stoller for this.
13:43Storks, Captain Underpants, the Muppets.
13:45That's not the direction we want to go with this, okay?
13:47Don't you represent Wes Anderson?
13:49You want Wes Anderson to direct a fucking Kool-Aid movie?
13:53He's gonna think I'm fucking crazy, man.
13:55He's gonna fire me over Zoom from Lichtenstein or wherever the fuck he is.
13:59Okay, what about Guillermo del Toro?
14:02Go fuck your mother.
14:04Have you lost your...
14:05Okay, that's...
14:06He's an Academy Award winner.
14:07He's not gonna stoop to the fucking Kool-Aid movie.
14:10Why not?
14:11It's like the Barbie movie.
14:12You know what I mean?
14:13Barbie?
14:14Barbie is...
14:1610,000 million times better IP than fucking Kool-Aid.
14:20Okay, why?
14:21Because people love Barbie.
14:22Barbie's hot.
14:23People want to fuck Barbie.
14:24I want to fuck, uh, uh, uh...
14:26Anybody trying to fuck the Kool-Aid, man, dude.
14:28Okay?
14:29He doesn't even have an asshole.
14:30I'm pretty sure there's no way to fuck the Kool-Aid, man.
14:33Am I wrong?
14:34How would you fuck him?
14:35I don't fuck...
14:36What are we talking about?
14:37This has nothing to do with anything.
14:38This is an actual opportunity for a director to get a huge budget and make, like, a real film, you know?
14:44No.
14:45Okay.
14:46Listen to me.
14:47I get it.
14:48You're...
14:49You're a new studio head.
14:50You want to make great art and make a billion dollars doing it.
14:52Well, guess what?
14:53That never fucking happens.
14:55And you're gonna fuck everything up trying to make it happen.
14:57You understand?
14:58Hey, man.
14:59He's right.
15:00Make one for them.
15:02Make one for you.
15:03Martin Scorsese is pitching you a movie this week.
15:05Make that shit.
15:06Take the easy W here, man.
15:07Listen to your Jew.
15:08Your exec.
15:09Great.
15:11No, seriously.
15:12You've got Stoller.
15:13Stoller's fucking great.
15:14He's really good.
15:15Oh, shit.
15:16Can we say...
15:17Can we say the shooting one?
15:18Why don't you?
15:19Hey, listen.
15:20Hello, Mr. Mill.
15:21Matthew.
15:22Just checking in on Kool-Aid.
15:24Listen, I have a board meeting this Friday, so I'm gonna need you to pull the trigger on a director by then.
15:30You could do that, right?
15:32Yeah.
15:33Uh, totally.
15:34Shouldn't be a problem.
15:35Uh, yep.
15:36I can do that.
15:37Alright.
15:38Yeah, uh, set the meeting with Nick Stoller.
15:45Mazel Tov.
15:47Eh.
15:48Kool-Aid Man is a logo in a world of logos.
15:53He's friends with Jell-O and Chef Boyardee, they go to the bar to, like, hang with Velveeta.
15:58Uh-huh.
15:59And the Kool-Aid Man, you know, he was famous in the 80s, but it's time for him to retire because he's, you know, he's too old to break through walls and do his job anymore.
16:06He wants his son to replace him.
16:08There's all family of Kool-Aid people, so we get to incorporate the other flavors, you know, yellow, green.
16:13But his daughter, she really wants to break through walls.
16:17But Kool-Aid, he doesn't think she's strong enough.
16:21When the whole Kool-Aid family goes missing, Kool-Aid Girl becomes their only hope.
16:29I hope this doesn't sound crass, but I feel like I just got double stuffed by Walt Disney and Aaron Sorkin.
16:35All right?
16:36Walt's up in my mouth.
16:37The Sork has absolutely destroyed my ass.
16:40Oh.
16:41Well, uh, thanks.
16:44No, thank you.
16:45So good.
16:46And that family shit as a father of daughters, it really resonates with me.
16:49Yeah.
16:50Sure it does.
16:51It was a great pitch, Nick.
16:52Thank you so much for coming in, especially on such short notice.
16:54We really appreciate it.
16:55Let us just, you know, rally on our end, and yeah, we'll let you know ASAP.
16:58Oh, cool.
16:59Thanks, man.
17:00And, um, have you, uh, talked to Patty recently?
17:02I mean, I, uh, she gave me my first break as a writer.
17:04Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:05And I, you know, love her.
17:06Yeah, she's the best.
17:07Um, and, uh, is she doing okay?
17:09She's doing great.
17:10Yeah, I was actually, I was just talking to her this morning, actually.
17:12Okay.
17:13Yeah, and she's, you know, transitioning very well.
17:15She's, uh, overall very optimistic about the future.
17:17So, uh, yeah, I'll let her know you said hi.
17:19That would be, that'd be awesome.
17:20Yes, great job.
17:21And I, I love Kool-Aid.
17:22Yeah, cool.
17:23I really do.
17:24Thanks, man.
17:25Yeah.
17:26Did you really talk to Patty?
17:27No, I've called her a thousand times.
17:29She will not call me back at all, man.
17:31Yeah, me too.
17:32Hey, that pitch was really good.
17:33This movie can work, man.
17:34He's the doctor.
17:35Yeah, you know, I gotta say, it's for sure the best version of the very, very, very, very
17:40middle of the road version of this.
17:42And it's not what I want to be, you know, coming out of the gate with.
17:46But Griffin Mill will love it.
17:47And more importantly, he will have it by the end of the week.
17:49So, thank you, Sal.
17:50I got your back.
17:51Okay.
17:52It's Wednesday, March 27th.
17:53I'm Matt Bellini, and this is The Town, the podcast that takes you inside Hollywood.
17:58The big news in town today, I've heard from multiple sources that Matt Remick, head of
18:02Continental Studios, he's been taking meetings trying to find a director for a Kool-Aid movie.
18:07Days after telling Variety he wants to revive cinema and make bold choices, Remick has instantly
18:12become a punchline on social media, now that he's making what sounds like a dumb movie based
18:16on a bad drink.
18:17Fuck.
18:18I can't believe Patty's out.
18:21You know, she was a head of Continental for as long as I can remember, like since
18:24before the flood.
18:25Yeah.
18:26And now you're here.
18:27Yes.
18:28Congratulations.
18:30Congratulations.
18:31Very exciting.
18:32All the best.
18:33Yes.
18:34I seem stressed out, honestly.
18:35I've had quite the day.
18:36Oh, yeah.
18:37Was it bad?
18:38Bad?
18:39No, not really.
18:40Just got a lot going on.
18:41So, what do you got?
18:42I can't wait to hear it.
18:43Well, I know you're busy, so I'm just going to jump right into it, okay?
18:45This is a project that I've been really wanting to make for a very, very long time.
18:50Only thing is, the budget's a little bit up there.
18:53Some may say extreme.
18:54The scope is huge.
18:55Uh-huh.
18:56The themes are heavy.
18:57But I want the film to be entertaining.
18:59Cool.
19:00Yeah.
19:01Entertainment.
19:02Okay?
19:03One thing we all know about, but not one that we really know about.
19:10You know?
19:12Oh, I know.
19:14What is it?
19:16Jonestown.
19:18Huh?
19:20Jonestown.
19:21Jonestown.
19:22Like the cult massacre?
19:24Yes.
19:25Exactly.
19:26Exactly.
19:27The Jonestown cult massacre.
19:28It's about Jim Jones, United States Senate, America.
19:31It's sprawling.
19:32It's big.
19:33It's fun.
19:34It's fucked up.
19:35Granted, it's fucked up.
19:36But I see it as a meditation on cults, hero worship, mass murder, suicide, everything.
19:42It's life.
19:43Jonestown.
19:45Jonestown.
19:47Now, correct me if I'm wrong.
19:54Is that the massacre where everybody committed suicide by drinking Kool-Aid?
20:01Exactly.
20:02That's the phrase.
20:03They drank the Kool-Aid, drink the Kool-Aid, whatever it is.
20:06That's the phrase.
20:07That's the climax of the picture.
20:08It's a big, big sequence.
20:10That's great.
20:11In a sense, I guess you could say that your film is about...
20:16Kool-Aid.
20:18Well, I mean, yeah, in a sense, I guess.
20:21In a sense.
20:22In a sense.
20:23Yeah, great, great, great.
20:24So, what are you thinking in terms of budget?
20:26Well, I mean, budget...
20:29You know, 200?
20:33I'm gonna tell you what, Mr. Scorsese.
20:37I will green light your film right now with a budget of 250 million dollars,
20:42and I'm gonna buy your screenplay for 10 million.
20:45Whoa.
20:46Matt.
20:47Jesus.
20:48You move fast.
20:50Oh, I love that.
20:51I love it.
20:52Decisive, huh?
20:53Yes.
20:54Decisive.
20:55And good taste.
20:56I don't mean that in a bad way.
20:57No, of course.
20:58Yes.
20:59Now, there's one little tiny catch.
21:02All right.
21:03I know.
21:04You know, I've been around.
21:05Always a catch.
21:06What is it?
21:07Trust me here.
21:08This in no way affects you making the exact film that you want to make.
21:12Yeah, because the whole thing is about freedom.
21:13Exactly.
21:14You'll have all that.
21:15It does, however, it sort of affects what we call the film.
21:19Okay, so, what do you want to call the movie?
21:25Kool-Aid.
21:26Kool-Aid.
21:27Kool-Aid.
21:28Kool-Aid.
21:29I did it!
21:30I did it!
21:31I did it!
21:32I did it!
21:33I did it!
21:34I did it!
21:35I got Martin Scorsese to write and direct the Kool-Aid movie!
21:36Scorsese?
21:37Kool-Aid?
21:38Are you kidding me?
21:39I'm not!
21:40I did it!
21:41I did it!
21:42I did it!
21:43Oh, what about Stoller?
21:44I'm making a deal with him.
21:45Yeah, tell him to get fucked!
21:46I got a real filmmaker!
21:47Consider him fucked!
21:48Scorsese, are you kidding me?
21:49No, I did it.
21:50When this breaks on deadline, I'm gonna look like a genius.
21:53All those people who wrote posts and articles about what a dumb schmuck I am,
21:58they're gonna have to write new posts and new articles about what a genius I am.
22:02That's the dream!
22:03Matt, look.
22:04Look.
22:05Oh, my God.
22:06What?
22:07Charlize Theron inviting me to her party.
22:08Oh, fucking wait.
22:09Can I come with you?
22:10No!
22:11This is the best day of my life.
22:12This is it!
22:13Marty Scorsese.
22:14On God!
22:15No fucking way!
22:16Yeah.
22:17What's the idea?
22:18Is there a document?
22:19Let's go.
22:20There's a whole script.
22:21Wait a minute.
22:22Martin Scorsese.
22:23Oh, no fucking way!
22:24Yeah.
22:25Well, what's the idea?
22:26Is there a document?
22:27Let's go.
22:28There's a whole script.
22:29Wait a minute.
22:30Martin Scorsese.
22:31What?
22:32What?
22:33What?
22:34Martin Scorsese just happened to be writing a script about Kool-Aid.
22:37Even better.
22:38Martin Scorsese just happened to be writing a script that he is enthusiastic about turning
22:42into our Kool-Aid film.
22:44Great!
22:45What the fuck is it?
22:46Just know.
22:47Okay.
22:48It's one of those ideas that when you first hear it, you're gonna be like, huh?
22:52But then once you really process it and wrap your head around it, you're gonna be like,
22:55wow!
22:56What the fuck is it?
22:57It is, uh, an exploration of Kool-Aid through, uh, the events that centered around the place that is most commonly known, uh, as Jonestown.
23:14What the fuck is wrong with you?
23:15What the fuck is wrong with you?
23:16You wanna bring down this fucking studio?
23:17Oh, my God!
23:18Kill the fuck!
23:19Ow!
23:20Everyone's watching!
23:21I need a fucking Xanax right now!
23:22You're all good!
23:23Look, okay!
23:24It's not a line drive down the middle tank!
23:25This is even better!
23:26This version can actually be cool!
23:27Cool?!
23:28Don't worry, the fucking fun!
23:29Look, okay, okay.
23:30Once Upon a Time in Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino.
23:31A fun, cool movie about a real cult massacre that wins Oscars and makes $377 million or can Sony
23:36market a movie better than you?
23:37You know what?
23:38Oh, my God!
23:39Oh, my God!
23:40Everyone's watching!
23:41I need a fucking Xanax right now!
23:42I need a fucking Xanax right now!
23:43You're all good!
23:44Look, okay!
23:45It's not a line drive down the middle tank!
23:46No!
23:47This is even better!
23:48This version can actually be cool!
23:49Cool?!
23:50Don't worry, the fucking fun!
23:51Look, okay, okay!
23:52You know what Sony had?
23:53The Holy Trinity.
23:54Leo, Brad, and Marco.
23:55Who do you have?
23:56It's funny you should ask.
23:57I, uh, was just talking to Marty and he actually has really strong feelings that the lead role
24:13of, you know, Jim Jones should be portrayed by none other than Steve Buscemi.
24:21Okay, Steven Buscemi is absolutely the worst case scenario.
24:30Either people know his name but they can't recognize his face or they know his face but
24:35they have no idea what his name is.
24:36He is not good for minutes.
24:37He is quite literally one of the greatest actors who's currently alive.
24:40Hey, if he walked in this room, I would splay him on this table and fuck him to death.
24:46He does not have the clout to carry a franchise like Kool-Aid.
24:49Wait, hold on, is it Buscemi or Buscemi?
24:51It's Steve Buscemi.
24:52Buscemi?
24:53No, it's Buscemi like Buscemi.
24:54We've been talking about this guy for an hour and no one here can pronounce his name
24:58correctly.
24:59What does that tell you, Matt?
25:00So here's the deal.
25:01Griffin is gonna ask me what marketing thinks of your take and I'm gonna have to be honest
25:06with him and tell him that your take is gonna bomb.
25:09That movie is going to bomb.
25:10Okay?
25:11But, I also know you need to show him something.
25:14So, I had marketing whip a little something up to bail your ass out.
25:18Ah.
25:27What the fuck is this?
25:28It's a teaser, asshole.
25:29A teaser for what, asshole?
25:30Fuck do I know?
25:31That's your fucking job.
25:32Can we please just do the stoler ID, okay?
25:34It was not that bad.
25:35Hey kid, guess what?
25:36This fucking dumb ass killed the deal yesterday.
25:38Oh my God.
25:39Hey, I know you love Martin Scorsese.
25:40His vision for this movie is going to bankrupt us.
25:43Yes.
25:44You need to show Griffin this teaser right now.
25:45I can't show Griffin this.
25:46This is nothing.
25:47This has a fucking story.
25:48It's nothing.
25:49Who gives a shit if it has a story?
25:50He's gonna be delighted by the Kool-Aid man doing the Zay Zay Shuffle.
25:53What the fuck is the Zay Zay Shuffle?
25:55It is the number one dance trend on TikTok.
25:57Man, as our boss, you should know more.
25:58Look, guys.
26:00We got Martin Scorsese to agree to write and direct a fucking Kool-Aid movie for us.
26:07So it's not the most commercial cast and it's not the most marketable take.
26:11It's one of the greatest directors of all time wanting to make a film for us.
26:16If this isn't the type of thing we're fucking saying yes to, what are we doing with our lives?
26:21We're going with Scorsese's version of Kool-Aid.
26:24End of story.
26:26Griffin Mills ready for you all?
26:29Oh, my God.
26:32It says here it was actually Flavor-Aided.
26:36They're drinking Jones Haber.
26:37Shh.
26:38Not helpful.
26:39Let me do the talking.
26:40It's fine.
26:41Hello.
26:42Whoa, looky here.
26:44Yeah.
26:45All marching in like good school children.
26:47Yeah.
26:48Good to see you, sir.
26:49All right.
26:50Yeah.
26:51So, Kool-Aid me.
26:56What's happening?
26:59I'll tell you what's happening.
27:01Seriously.
27:02That is fucking good.
27:03Yeah.
27:04What's happening?
27:05I'm sorry.
27:06I'm sorry.
27:07I'm sorry.
27:08Can I have a break?
27:09Yeah.
27:10I'm sorry.
27:11What's up? K-Pot, sir?
27:12We gon' chop it down
27:13Like I'm about to make some salsa
27:15When I dip, you dip, we dip
27:16I couldn't hold it any longer
27:18Getting silly with this shit
27:20But if you slip, it's gonna cost it, yeah
27:22Seriously?
27:29That is fucking fantastic
27:32Yes, it is!
27:34I mean, that's huge!
27:36It's fun!
27:37So fun!
27:37Right? It's so amazing!
27:39And he's doing the zay-zay, right?
27:41I love the show!
27:43So, Matt, what's the story?
27:49The story?
27:50Yeah, what's the story?
27:52What's it about?
27:54Oh, um...
27:55The story's actually the best part
27:57Good!
27:58So, um, yeah
27:59Well, Kool-Aid Man
28:03Exists in a world of corporate logos
28:06He's friends with Velveeta
28:07He goes and hangs out at the bar
28:09With Chef Boyardee
28:10And, uh, he's got a whole family
28:12Of Kool-Aid people
28:13So you get the other flavors in there
28:14You know, you got yellow, green, red
28:16I love all this!
28:18Thank you
28:18Very, very impressive
28:20Thank you
28:20Very diverse
28:21Yes
28:22Right?
28:23You've got red, yellow, green
28:24And ain't white, am I right?
28:27Right?
28:28Very diverse
28:29And we got you, brother
28:30You too, sister
28:33So, who's, uh, who's gonna be directing?
28:37Nick Stoller
28:38Guy's a real pro
28:38We got him locked down
28:39We love him
28:40Very funny
28:41All right, lock it up
28:42I will
28:43Thank you so much
28:44Good work
28:44Pleasure
28:45Good to see you, Griffin
28:46Oh, uh, one more question
28:51This Martin Scorsese, Jonestown movie
28:55What's all that about?
28:59You spent $10 million
29:01On a Martin Scorsese, Jonestown script
29:04But we can't be making a movie about Kool-Aid and its lovable mascot
29:11And also be making a movie about how Kool-Aid is associated with one of the most infamous mass murders of all fucking time
29:24Of course not
29:26Thank God
29:27Yeah
29:28I knew you'd have a good reason
29:30So, tell me, why did you spend the $10 million on it?
29:37Well, you know, um, I got wind that Scorsese was making this Jonestown movie
29:44And I had the exact same concern as you
29:46You know, we can't let this art house bullshit get in the way of our billion dollar franchise
29:51And so I bought the Jonestown script, uh, specifically to kill it
29:58So, we'll own the project
30:04But nobody will ever get to make it
30:08Oh, Matt
30:12That is so fucked up
30:14Yeah
30:15I love it
30:16Great
30:17Thank you
30:19Good work
30:20Yes, obviously I know that we are the ones who blew up the deal
30:24But we've had second thoughts and we would love to have Nick Stoller on Kool-Aid
30:27I'll double his quote
30:28Oh, you're gonna be dumping shekels on Stoller
30:30But the problem now is that he came up under Patty and he talked to her
30:33He did?
30:34Yeah, she's pissed off at Jew, the studio
30:36And she convinced Nick not to work with you on this
30:38I need that idea
30:39I don't know what to tell you, you fuck yourself
30:41Patty's the only issue?
30:43Yep
30:43Well, then you will be absolutely thrilled to hear
30:46That we're actually bringing Patty on board Kool-Aid as a producer
30:49That's the first smart thing you've done
30:51Great, uh, keep it under wraps for now
30:53But we are gonna get this deal done
30:55Good pace, huh?
30:56Why do you keep lying?
30:57I don't know
30:58You can't even get her on the phone
30:59I know that
31:00I'm just gonna go to her house and confront her in person
31:04Yo, you're coming with me to Charlize's tonight
31:06If we pull this off, we're gonna celebrate
31:08Oh, yeah
31:09Oh, yeah
31:39Oh, how dare you show your face at my door
31:48You of all people
31:49Hi, Patty
31:50Oh, God, it's so humiliating
31:55Well, don't you stand there like a fucking door dasher
32:00Come in
32:00Fuck
32:01You know I quit swearing
32:03And you're making me do it
32:05I know, I'm sorry
32:05Motherfucker
32:06Fuck!
32:06I'm sorry, shit
32:07Look, I just want to come by
32:09You know, see how you're doing
32:11You know, make sure everything was okay
32:12How I'm doing?
32:14Oh
32:14Oh, I
32:15You know, I gave 40 years of my life to the studio
32:18And then this Griffin Mill
32:20Some dime store Bob Evans comes in and wants to put his stamp on the place
32:24Like he's urinating on a hydrant
32:27I know, he's so brutal
32:29I know, he's so brutal
32:29Yeah, he is
32:30But guess what?
32:33You're even worse
32:34Me?
32:35You broke my heart, Patty
32:37What did I do?
32:38He stole my gun!
32:40I did not steal your job, okay?
32:43I had absolutely nothing to do with that
32:46I barely even got hired, you know?
32:49I raised you like a son
32:50And the moment my back is turned, youth
32:53Stab it
32:54I did not stab you in the back
32:56If anything, I'm here trying to carry your torch, Patty
32:59Well, you may not have thrust the knife
33:02But you sure seem happy working with people who do
33:06I'm not happy about any of this
33:08You believe me on that one
33:10And I love our working relationship
33:12And that's why I'm here
33:14I want to keep it going
33:15I'm offering you a producerial role
33:18On our biggest and best new franchise
33:21Kool-Aid?
33:24Yeah
33:24Is that your offer?
33:25It is
33:26Oh, shit
33:27You're like a cat
33:29Bringing in a mutilated pigeon
33:31You're all funny
33:32Oh, I know
33:33I talked to Stoller
33:34You just want me to pull your ass out of the fire
33:36To get him to sign up
33:37Well, you need me to pull your ass out of the fire, too
33:39You know, you're on your own, Patty
33:41You need a gig, okay?
33:42Boss you!
33:43So you offer me Kool-Aid?
33:45Like I want my name on that monstrosity?
33:47Ew!
33:48Ew!
33:48That thing should have been smothered in the crib
33:50But no, if I wanted to make that trash
33:51I'd still have my job
33:53Okay, here's my counter
33:59Okay
33:59I will call Stoller and get him on board
34:02On your movie
34:02Great
34:03But I will need a three-year overall
34:05Ten million overhead
34:07To put pictures a year
34:09First look, non-exclusive
34:11No!
34:14Maddie!
34:15Oh, look, Maddie, look
34:16I'm sorry, I just can't do it
34:19That's so good
34:20Nobody in all of Hollywood
34:21Has a deal that lucrative
34:22I don't care
34:23You owe me everything
34:25I don't owe you, Elk
34:26I owe you a lot
34:26I will give you that
34:27I don't think I owe you everything
34:28I just can't do it
34:29Maddie, that job
34:31Was my life
34:32Just like it is yours
34:34Right?
34:35And without it
34:36Without it
34:39I'm afraid
34:41I don't
34:42I don't like it
34:44I'll give you seven million dollars a year
34:49No put pictures
34:51Fully exclusive
34:52Eight million?
34:54One put picture
34:55And the budget's under five million
34:56Fine, but you've got to be exclusive
35:00No exclusivity!
35:02Those people rail me raw
35:04They rail me raw, Maddie
35:06Please
35:08Okay, I'll do it
35:10Deal
35:12Maddie
35:15Thank you
35:17Thank you
35:18Thank you
35:19Oh, thank you
35:21Okay
35:22Let's call Nick Stoller
35:24Oh, you poor thing
35:27You have to kill Martin Scorsese's movie
35:30I killed one of Warren's movies in 88
35:33And they never slept with me again
35:35I have the same fear with Marty
35:37So, how do you feel in all this?
35:42You know, I've worked, obviously, a long time to get here
35:45My parents are very thrilled, very proud
35:48I think Griffin is, you know, optimistic with the plan
35:53Maddie, not one of those words is about how you feel
35:56Yeah, I feel miserable, honestly
36:01I'm anxious, stressed out
36:03Panicking pretty much all the time
36:05I was so much happier two weeks ago
36:07When I was just angry and resentful that I didn't have this job
36:09I would give anything to be angry and resentful
36:12Compared to how I feel right now
36:14You know, I walk past the tour guide every morning
36:17And they say that the office was built as a temple to cinema
36:20But it feels much more like a tomb
36:23Heavy as the head, Maddie
36:25Yeah, I'm honored, obviously, to be one of the people
36:29That gets to choose, you know, which movies get made
36:31And which ones don't
36:32That's huge
36:33And I got into all this
36:35Because, you know, I love movies
36:38But now I have this fear that
36:41My job is to ruin them
36:44The job is a meat grinder
36:47It makes you stressed
36:49And panicked
36:50And miserable
36:51One week you're looking your idol in the eye and breaking his heart
36:55And the next week you're writing a blank check for some entitled nipple baby in a beanie
36:59But when it all comes together
37:04And you make a good movie
37:06It's good forever
37:10You'll make a great studio hit
37:15You know why?
37:17Because you had the best teacher
37:19I still do
37:29Oh, I'm so glad I'm not the guy who has to tell Marty his movie's dead
37:39What do you even say to him?
37:40I'm not going to say shit to Marty
37:41I talk to his agent on Monday
37:43And then I avoid him for the rest of my life
37:44Hopefully I just never see him again
37:46Hey, Matt
37:47Oh, fuck me
37:48Hey, hey
37:49Marty
37:49Matt
37:50Yay
37:51Hey, hey
37:52Great to see you
37:53Oh, God, hi
37:54This is Sal
37:54Hi
37:55Hi
37:55Well, I'm Matt
37:57Yes
37:57Matt, I have been thinking nonstop about
37:59Kool-Aid
38:00Oh, great
38:00That's great
38:01I mean, Kool-Aid
38:01I mean, I've some
38:02By the way, I've got some great ideas for actors to put around Bersamei
38:05Perfect, great, yeah
38:06And honestly, I couldn't have come to the title Kool-Aid on my own
38:09I mean, I can't believe that title is fantastic
38:11I'm going to take credit for it
38:12It's all yours
38:13I love how your brain doesn't stop working, Marty
38:16But, you know, we don't have to talk shop at a party
38:18Let's talk about something else
38:20You into sports, cars?
38:24What's going on?
38:26Nothing
38:26I mean, you're acting weird
38:28There's something funny
38:29There's something funny going on here
38:30I'm pretty sure this is how I always act
38:32I know this guy like the back of my own dick
38:34Yeah
38:34This is classic Matt Rebecca
38:36Totally, yeah
38:37No, no, no, no, no, no
38:38This performance, it's inauthentic
38:40I promise, it's nothing, yeah
38:42I saw that look
38:42What look?
38:43I saw that look
38:44Nope
38:44It's a furtive look
38:45It was furtive
38:46We are not being furtive
38:47Never been furtive in my life
38:48No
38:49Oh, no, no, that's furtive
38:50I know furtive
38:51There's one thing I know, it's furtive, okay?
38:53Look, Marty
38:55Um
38:56There's something you should know
38:58And
38:59Sal is actually going to take the lead on this
39:02And tell you
39:03Sal
39:04Yeah, now I don't
39:05Now you talk
39:06Marty
39:09First of all, can I say
39:11You're the reason I'm in this business
39:13Who the fuck are you?
39:16And what are you trying to say?
39:18We're going in a different direction
39:19And we're not doing a Jonestown version of Kool-Aid
39:21You know what?
39:30I mean, fine
39:30Fine
39:32All right?
39:34I mean, it's fucked up
39:34But
39:35I gotta tell you
39:36Matt
39:37Honestly
39:38It's not surprising
39:39Because you're just another run-of-the-mill
39:41Faceless
39:42Talentless
39:44Spineless
39:45Suit
39:47I have a face
39:50Just give me back my movie
39:51And let me go sell it to fucking Apple
39:52The way I should have done it in the first place
39:54I can't do that
39:56Let me get this straight
39:59You bought my movie
40:02Just to kill it?
40:07I did
40:08He did
40:08We'll leave you alone, Mr. Scorsese
40:19I love the departed
40:19Shut up
40:20Oh, God, oh, God
40:21That was so much worse than I thought it was
40:23God, he's crying
40:25He's sobbing
40:26You made him fucking sob
40:27You made him
40:28Just don't
40:28Fuck, Charlize is talking to him
40:30Shit, Christ
40:31Damn it, I was telling her what happened
40:33Little rat
40:34Keep your fucking mouth
40:34Shit, what a dick
40:35Fuck, she's looking at us
40:37Okay, just be cool
40:38She's gonna kick us out of the-
40:40You're the head of the studio
40:41She's not kicking you
40:41Fucking chill
40:42Hi, Charlize
40:43Get the fuck out of here
40:45Okay, sorry
40:46Thank you for having us
40:47Sorry, Marty
40:47Jesus Christ
40:49Hey, Matt Remick, right?
40:53Steve Buscemi, hey
40:55Buscemi, but
40:56Oh, sorry, yeah
40:57That's okay
40:57I hear we're making a film together
40:59Yeah, we are
41:00Um, yeah, can't wait
41:02How about Marty's script?
41:04Yeah
41:04Did it just, like, blow your mind?
41:06Yeah, it was amazing
41:07You should just give him the Oscar now
41:09I know, it was really great stuff, yeah
41:10You have to think, we're gonna be making Martin Scorsese's last movie
41:14His what?
41:16Oh, he didn't tell you?
41:17No
41:18Oh, yeah, no
41:19This is his swan song, he's done after this
41:22Wow
41:23I mean, what a true honor
41:26Yeah
41:26How lucky are we?
41:28So lucky, amazing, right?
41:29Hey, man, thank you for making it happen
41:31Thank you
41:32Seriously, I'll see you on set
41:33Can't wait
41:34All right, okay
41:35Hey, Marty
41:37Are you crying?
41:40What happened?
41:48Well, he walked up to me
41:50And he asked me if I wanted to die
41:52He looked kind of nice and so
41:57I said I might take a chance
41:59When he danced, he held me tight
42:05And when he walked me home tonight
42:09All the stars were shining right
42:12Two martinis coming up
42:14Here you go, dude
42:15Thank you, sir
42:16Cheers
42:17Even after what happened tonight
42:31I still love watching this film
42:33Oh, my God, yes
42:34Marty's a goat
42:36I don't think we can call him Marty anymore
42:39Oh, no
42:40It's Mr. Scorsese
42:41Yes, very much so
42:43Ray Bracco's so fucking hot
42:47Dude, Ray Liotta's so fucking hot
42:49Ah, yes
42:50I heard Patty was fucking him
42:51While they made this movie
42:52Shut the fuck up
42:54Yeah
42:55And I heard he has a huge dick
42:56Oh, I believe that
42:57Rest in peace, King
42:59Rest in penis, King
43:01And one day he took me home
43:08To meet his mom and his dad
43:10Then he asked me to be his bride
43:16And always be right by his side
43:19I felt so happy I almost cried
43:23And then he kissed me
43:25And then he asked me to be his bride
43:37And always be right by his side
43:41I felt so happy I almost cried
43:44And then he kissed me
43:46And then he kissed me
43:48And then he kissed me
43:49And then he kissed me
43:50And then he kissed me
43:51And then he kissed me
43:52And then he kissed me
43:53And then he kissed me
43:54And then he kissed me
43:55And then he kissed me
43:56And then he kissed me
43:57And then he kissed me
43:58And then he kissed me
43:59And then he kissed me
44:00And then he kissed me
44:01And then he kissed me
44:02And then he kissed me
44:03And then he kissed me
44:04And then he kissed me
44:05And then he kissed me
44:06And then he kissed me
44:07And then he kissed me
44:08And then he kissed me
44:09And then he kissed me
44:10And then he kissed me
44:11And then he kissed me
44:12And then he kissed me
44:13And then he kissed me