Why do so many of the world's best goalscorers unravel in the Premier League?
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00:00Much to the chagrin, excellent word, of fans of other divisions, the question, but can he do it
00:09in the Premier League, remains a pertinent one. While some of the game's greatest names have
00:13arrived in the division and thrived, I'm thinking like, Makaleli, Zlatan, and I did have another
00:19one, Ivan Campo, he'll do, plenty of the giants of world football have had an absolute nightmare
00:25here. And of course, in no position is that more costly or indeed more funny than up front.
00:31I'm Adam Cleary, this is 442, and these are 10 amazing strikers who completely flopped in the
00:37Premier League. Number 10, Jared Borghetti, Bolton. For a player whose name sounds like a car, Jared
00:43Borghetti was the proverbial Rolls Royce of a footballer. He pitched up at Bolton in the
00:47twilight of a career that had made him a bigger Mexican institution than those enormous hats you
00:52get with the nice little lace patterns on them. He had scored absolutely loads of goals in his
00:57home country for Santos Laguna and became one of the most feared strikers in all of South America.
01:02However, under Sam Allardyce, he managed just two goals in 19 Premier League games, one against
01:08Man City and the other against Charlton. He was a lot better in the Cups, yes, but that's not what
01:12this list is about, is it? Rules are rules. Number 9, Roberto Saldado, Tottenham. Now, I'm sorry,
01:18but I'm not having any comments here for referring to Saldado as a great striker. The lad had just
01:23bagged 30 goals in 46 appearances the previous season at Valencia and was genuinely being talked
01:30about as one of the hottest commodities in Europe. Now, you might not believe that, I might not even
01:34believe that, but it did happen. I was there, people were saying it. And as well, in his defence,
01:39Spurs were a little bit all over the place when he arrived, having just splurged all the Gareth Bale money
01:44on no less than seven, count them seven, highly rated new players. Still though, seven Premier
01:50League goals in 52 games is, well, crap. Number 8, Diego Forlan, Manchester United.
01:57It tells you absolutely everything about what a footballing monster truck Mourinho's Chelsea were
02:02that Man United had both Van Nistelrooy and Forlan on their books for those first two Premier
02:06League wins and could not get anywhere near them. Unlike his Dutch teammate though, the Uruguayans'
02:11time in the Premier League was a famous damp squib. 17 goals in 98 appearances, the first
02:17not coming until his 34th game, did little to suggest that he would go on to, and let
02:22me just double check my notes here, ah yes, become one of the most feared goal scorers in
02:27all of Europe. 155 goals in just seven years in La Liga, that is not the Diego Forlan you
02:35saw in the Premier League.
02:36Regardless though, Man United fans still seem to love him on account of his two very memorable
02:40strikes against Liverpool. Proof once more that banter remains undefeated as the true
02:45measure of footballing success.
02:50Number 7, Sergei Rebrov, Tottenham. The £11 million Ukrainian, then 25, had been one
02:56half of what was arguably Europe's most devastating strike partnership. Alongside Andrei Shevchenko
03:01and ho ho ho, more on him later, the duo had scored almost 200 goals between them in five
03:08seasons at Dynamo Kiev. Recruited to become the prolific goalscorer that Spurs lacked, Rebrov
03:13ultimately struggled to perform at anywhere near the same level and was even overlooked
03:17for the 2002 League Cup Final. Now don't get me wrong, there's no shame to getting benched
03:21behind Teddy Sheringham and Les Ferdinand, they're two great players, but they had a combined
03:25age at the time of 70. But you know, score 10 goals in two seasons and that's what you're
03:31going to get.
03:32Number 6, Gonzalo Higuain, Chelsea. Genuinely a sporting anomaly how so many strikers can
03:37bang in goals for fun in almost any other league in the world and then get to England and look
03:42like some beige middle management type who's won a play on the pitch prize in a company raffle.
03:47Gonzalo Higuain, par exemple, was almost one goal every two games at Real Madrid and Juventus,
03:53one goal every game and a half at Napoli and then got to Chelsea and looked about as
03:58much use as tits on a kipper.
04:00Five goals, the sum total of his loan spell in London where afterwards he defended his
04:04record by pointing out the club did win the Europa League while he was there.
04:08And again, just let me check my notes here, ah yes, he played a grand total of 24 minutes
04:12in that competition and did not even get off the bench in the final. Worth a try.
04:18Number 5, Claudio Pizarro, Chelsea. Yeah, I'll just, I'll level with you now, the rest of
04:22this list is mostly Chelsea. The Peruvian all-star hit 100 goals for Bayern Munich to establish
04:28a reputation as one of Germany and Europe's top marksmen and his arrival at Chelsea on
04:32a free transfer no less looked like a genius piece of business. He started by missing a
04:37penalty in the Community Shield shootout against Manchester United on his debut and things did
04:42not improve much thereafter. Pizarro notched just two goals in 21 matches before departing
04:49after one season. A stint so short in fact that we as a fanbase didn't ever quite decide
04:54if it was Pizarro or Pizzaro. You'd think Pizz as there's only one Zed so it's not like
05:00pizza with two. Right? Pizarro? Pizzaro? Pitharo? What was I talking about?
05:09Number 4, Radamal Falcao, Manchester United. Easily, without question, one of the most complete
05:15centre forwards in world football while at both Porto and Atletico Madrid, Falcao made
05:20cheese strings out of his anterior cruciament ligaments at Monaco, but his 6 million loan
05:25to Man United still felt like really good business. Nope, just four goals all season for Louis
05:32van Gaal's men and that was the end of his time in England. Except wait, no it wasn't
05:36because number 4 again, Radamal Falcao, Chelsea. Never a team you can accuse of letting their rivals
05:43hog the money wasting spotlight, Chelsea seemingly took it as a personal challenge to somehow out
05:49farce this farce and brought him in the following season. One goal in all competitions. Round of
05:55applause for everyone involved, please. Number 3, Hernan Crespo. You guessed it, Chelsea. Now yes,
06:01a glance at Crespo's goals per game record in the Premier League suggests that maybe the flop tag is
06:06somewhat harsh in this case, he did net 20 times in 49 games. But according to the three Chelsea fans
06:12I know and I swear have asked, the former Palmer, Lazio and Inter sharpshooter just never really
06:18convinced at Stamford Bridge. Ten goals in both seasons just felt like a massive letdown given
06:23how good he clearly was and could have been and neither Ranieri nor Mourinho ever quite managed
06:28to extract a proper tune out of him. Number 2, Fernando Morientes, Chelsea. Oh no,
06:33it's Liverpool. Oh, do you know what, this one broke my heart. Liverpool appeared to have snared one of the
06:37deals of the century when they got Morientes, still only 28, for 6.3 million. He wasn't getting minutes
06:44at Madrid but being behind Ronaldo, Raul and Michael Owen in the pecking order hardly made
06:48that a red flag. But not only was it a red flag, it was a Reds flag. Because they're the Reds.
06:56That joke does sort of work. The three-time Champions League winner showed flashes of his talent at
07:01Anfield but ultimately found neither form nor fitness. A meagre 12 goals in 60 appearances
07:06followed and the Reds loaned him back out to Valencia after just 18 months. Anyway,
07:10here's a pitch for any HBO types watching. Get a biopic in the works and have Pedro Pascal play him.
07:15Look at them side by sides. You can see it, can't you? Number 1, Andrei Shevchenko, Chelsea.
07:21For a while, Shevchenko was basically the Michael Jordan of football. But at Chelsea though,
07:26he was the Michael Jordan of expensive footballing misadventure. A then British record fee of 30.8
07:33million in 2006 yielded a meagre nine Premier League goals in his three years at the club. The
07:40problem was, he was less a shrewd bit of transfer business and more… how can I put this without
07:45winding up on some sort of hit list? A gift. A lovely, generous goal scoring gift from Roman Abramovich
07:54to Jose Mourinho despite Chelsea having no issue scoring goals and them just coming off the back
08:01of consecutive Premier League title wins. If you think about it, it's sort of like buying somebody
08:05a really nice, expensive beard trimmer for Christmas after they've already accidentally cut
08:10their own head off with their Gillette Mach 3. So it like, it fits their interests. Yes, just,
08:16just not their circumstances. And that's it, that's the video, thank you so very much for watching
08:20and making it all the way till the end. Somebody's keen. While you're here, please do consider
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08:37yourself and I'll see you soon. Goodbye.