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00:00I
00:02Just hope I don't get buzz
00:08Hi
00:09Good to see you again. Good to see you, too
00:12I'm very excited to see you actually because you had me laughing a lot last time. Thank you. Okay. Well go for it
00:21So
00:23My girlfriend wants to have kids. I love kids. We tell kids it could be whatever they want if I have a kid
00:28I'm gonna be honest if he's like daddy. Can I play in the NBA? I'm gonna be like look
00:32Statistically, it's possible
00:34But let's take a look at this chart
00:37I've taken the liberty of factoring in your size and race and it doesn't look good
00:42You're a tiny Jew
00:44that's why we named you TJ actually is a
00:49Reminder I
00:51Used to I used to meet women on the road after shows
00:54I remember once after a show woman said I'd invite you back to my apartment, but it's a bit messy
00:58And I was like, of course your place is a mess if you're willing to sleep with me
01:01I'm gonna assume your whole life is in shambles a
01:07Messy apartment is not a deal-breaker. I dated a hoarder for six months and she broke up with me which stings extra hard
01:14I'm like the one thing she can get rid of you know
01:20Sometimes I get ashamed of what I find attractive
01:23I'll meet like a really beautiful woman, but she's got a terrible personality and still I feel it in my pants
01:27and I'm like damn it
01:29Personality should matter but it doesn't not to this guy
01:33Having a penis is kind of like having a Republican son, you know, it's a part of me
01:37So I have to support it, but these are not the views that I endorse
01:47Thank You YouTube thank you for watching on air and online and to subscribe just
01:54Click below and comment and like and just don't touch