He was shooting up heroin and meth on a daily basis just weeks ago. Now, with the help of his sister Maryrose, Ian is trying to get clean.
Here are his first 21 days trying to get opioid free.
Here are his first 21 days trying to get opioid free.
Category
🗞
NewsTranscript
00:00That would suck if he's in there overdosing though and I'm gonna be all
00:08over the place for a while. Did you take $40 for me? No but I found the 20 on the
00:14way here. Where'd you find those? He brought them and we're gonna burn them.
00:21There goes my backup plan. Proud of you.
00:29Day sober are we? Six days. Day six. Tomorrow marks the one week. I would
00:37rather hurt myself than hurt her.
00:44To understand what an opioid addiction looks like I met with Ian who's been
00:49using for 10 years. His sister Mary Rose has never given up on him. On Ian's
00:54latest attempt at getting clean they both took off to a cabin in Vermont and
00:58they allow me to follow the process. For Brute here are Ian's 21 first days
01:05fighting to recover.
01:20Would you like some help? Who are you? My sister.
01:28One day I don't really remember calling her but apparently the conversation was
01:33kind of like yo mayor I'm not gonna be alive too much longer if I stay here
01:37like the way I'm living is not okay. I was shooting up heroin and meth on a
01:44daily basis. He called me like in the middle of the night bawling his eyes out
01:50I could tell he was really fucked up really depressed really low and he was
01:53like Mary like he was like I'm not gonna make it he was like I gotta get out of
01:57this town if I stay here I'm gonna die I know it I feel it like I need you to
02:00come and get me. I was like all right I got you like of course and that same
02:05night he took so many drugs and I have a video of it cuz I was like yo I'm
02:10documenting this. I literally like I was going somewhere and I walked outside I
02:13just saw him passed out on the steps.
02:21I was just overdosing a lot and I didn't like the look on my mother's face when
02:27she had to narcan me. I've narcan a couple people and seeing that first hand
02:33and then seeing my mom see me go through that it's like oh like that's your kid
02:37you know I mean like with purple like purple lips gagging all that kind of
02:41scary stuff and I just don't want to put my family through that anymore.
02:48The amount of like shame and guilt that builds up is crazy like I still deal
02:53with it but I'm not getting high over it right now. I really don't even
02:59have the option to get high over it right now. Drugs are not in my tool bag
03:07right now. Cigarettes are though.
03:11And staying up here out of trouble is definitely the goal.
03:20Wood all around.
03:24She wakes up around 8 or 9 o'clock. I wake up around a similar time. She's
03:40probably down here doing a meeting for a job or for the crypto stuff or the
03:44internet or the for a younger me or anything like that and I kind of just
03:49pace around wandering trying to avoid these little demons in my head. Before
03:54even coming out here I've accepted like all right if you go up there you're
03:56gonna just need to click with your sister and do what she does because
04:00she's obviously got it more figured out than I do.
04:05Two days! We're counting it all. Everything's being documented.
04:15Whoa! Where did you find this?
04:24Mom's gonna kill us.
04:31Believe it or not Ian is a lot nicer than I am. I'm not a good person. You are a good person.
04:37You're a very good person. I know people that will tell you a lot different stories.
04:41But at your core. To you. Around you and to you yes for sure. No you're a good person.
04:48You've done bad things but you're a good person. I don't think that makes any sense.
04:54You've done action. Yeah exactly. No you're a good person. You can't change my mind about it.
05:05You seem more mellow than you were the last few years though. You seem less like.
05:09I finally slept.
05:16I was one of those kids I was like only weed and liquor dude that's all you need
05:20nothing else nothing more everything else is the devil and I fell off a long
05:26board at 16 and went into a coma for a couple months. When I got out I had short
05:31term memory loss and they prescribed me painkillers out the ass and on top of
05:36like the ADD meds the Adderall and the anxiety meds and Xanax so they was just
05:40pilling me out really. When I got out of the coma my grandmother had died my
05:44parents had gotten a divorce. And so Ian got out of the hospital just like in a
05:48way homeless and then fed medication.
05:55It went from popping pills every day selling pills to getting dope to selling
06:00dope and then mixing dope with coke and then it's just a daily thing and you
06:05start losing veins and you start losing money and that one bag turned into
06:10four and four to eight to a bun to two buns to a brick to a sleeve to and then
06:15it's just uncontrollable and you're getting arrested and you're doing dumb
06:17to get money. Watching somebody you love more than anything choose a substance
06:21like heroin you see the light leave their eyes. I like spent nights just like
06:26waiting for that phone call being like yo your brother died because it was like
06:29you know I saw you I saw his brain damage I saw his accident like I was
06:32there in the hospital I was there in the psych ward I was there like I slept in
06:35the room with you so many times. One of like the agreements I made to myself at
06:40a very young age was Mary you need to get an education you need to get the
06:43out of this house and never come back and I wanted to make sure I never needed
06:47or needed to rely on anybody. Ian 100% respected that. Right now we're
06:51together because I can financially afford everything we're doing that's why
06:55this is gonna be so successful. We're a team together we bring each other up all
06:59the time. So how does Ian feel after day four? My eyes feel like they're both gonna pop my tongue
07:09feels like it's... No cursing. How are your first days? It was awful I was all over
07:16the place. Cold sweats shivering hugging the toilet not sleeping not eating you
07:24just break it down and slowly taper yourself off and you're gonna feel
07:28uncomfortable for a couple days but you're not gonna be like crazy brutal
07:33dope sick so that's kind of what I did. What day sober are we? Six days. Day six
07:41tomorrow marks the one week. We're on day seven. We're on day seven. It's not too much. You've been doing it.
07:52You're doing so good. It doesn't matter how well it looks I need to feel okay
07:58like I don't feel like I just don't feel okay. You've been laughing every
08:01single day. You've been sleeping again. I would rather have some type of comfort
08:08like some type of not anxious and shaking and weird I just don't like it
08:13not my thing.
08:16Ian told me to meet him here. He's been walking around all day. He better be here
08:29right now. I have like a little bit of an inkling that he's not here and I hope
08:35I'm wrong and I hope he's here I hope he's okay but
08:40okay just wanted to share. I don't see him.
08:52That would suck if he's in there overdosing though but I have Narcan in
08:57the car so maybe I'll grab that and then go back but I didn't hear anybody.
09:02I took some glass as a weapon. Time to find Ian.
09:12I've been driving around looking for you. Okay I don't have a phone. I know why don't you get in the car and come back?
09:17Because I got plans. Did you shoot up? No. I can't even buy needles.
09:24I mean where do I have money? You sound a little f***ed up right now. Yeah I've been drinking. I found a
09:30f***ing bottle on the side of the road. It's pretty clutch. I'm just smearing it off but. I guess I'm gonna
09:37park and hang out with you and your friends.
09:40Probably not. I'll go grab some food and I'll call you when I'm done doing what I'm doing.
09:45Why don't you just come back? Because I got plans, getting jobs, getting laid. I think you should
09:54come back with me right now. I know what you think. I'll call you later.
10:06Day 14. That's been insane.
10:12I'm tired.
10:16I get it. It's rough for both parties and it's rough for someone who doesn't
10:26understand addiction to help someone who is an addict, who is off all their
10:30psych meds and all that kind of stuff to maintain the daily balance and the way
10:34it affects her hurts me because I don't want to put that kind of negativity on
10:38anyone ever. I would rather hurt myself than hurt her in short. I'm a runner I
10:44guess like according to my little rehabs and psych wards like when big problems
10:50come up I just leave like cool like whatever if I'm a problem like I'll
10:53leave like that's it doesn't hurt me and it'll probably benefit you so it's a
10:59win-win. Ian is explaining that he doesn't believe I understand the way he
11:07feels. People are gonna say oh you're not sober, oh you drank, oh you smoked, oh you did subs.
11:12That's not clean, that's not clean. Okay all right well I'm not robbing your
11:16I'm not robbing your house with a needle in my neck so I think that's progress.
11:22But you don't want to do it this time. You're different this time. You're in a
11:27different environment. It doesn't go away in ten days. I know it doesn't go away.
11:30It takes at least six months for post-acute withdrawals to go away.
11:34Talking about it like this is good every day though. I feel like this is going to be patronizing.
11:40I'm patronizing you?
11:50There's kibble, there's toys, there's bowls, and the wet food. The important stuff.
12:00I don't want Ian to feel like I'm taking care of him because I'm not. Like honestly I'm just
12:02hanging out with my brother because I love him and I want to make sure that he
12:05does well because I know he's more powerful than his addiction and I
12:09thought it would be nice for us to like have something else to care about in the process.
12:13I say we should've got a puppy, not cats.
12:18Ta-da! Open it.
12:22Peace, love, unity, respect.
12:25How do you feel? I feel great.
12:30I'm gonna go to lay down I guess.
12:33I always expect the worst. I don't expect good things because it's rare and bad
12:41things happen all the time so I just expect the other shoe to drop any day so
12:47when it does drop it's not too much of a shock. I'm gonna do something stupid.
12:51It's inevitable so I figure until that happens why not try to help someone I
12:59love even if it's just letting them get the gratification of thinking they're
13:03helping me like that's cool with me.
13:07I think we're at that point I think that our team is strong enough to like begin
13:12moving this forward. We're working on a movement called For the Younger Me.
13:15The idea is what would you do to help the younger generation? I personally would
13:20start with the opioid crisis.
13:23Give me one second.
13:30Michael, do you think we'll be able to get in contact with Nick Gautas or
13:36Crypto Picasso because they created a coin and they created an app as well.
13:43That's a good idea.
13:46Okay so we have six minutes left my brother just I have to go find him he
13:54just like walked out. Thank you guys I will talk to you all soon.
13:58I don't think anybody would like when somebody takes money from you.
14:09And I don't think it's um you know like I'm here for him I invest a lot of time
14:14and energy into him and his safety and his sobriety and you know my my goals
14:19and my aspirations are my priority at the end of the day like even while
14:23helping him it's so it's like when I do take time for myself like that it's like
14:28you know I like to you know I love my team like I also want to be supportive
14:32of them and what they're doing and like I give them my full attention.
14:44Did you take $40 for me? No but I found the 20 on the way here.
14:56Okay so me and Ian got in a fight and he said he's gonna go.
15:05Ian!
15:08Hello?
15:11Ian!
15:14That's really cool dude.
15:22I was gonna leave last night. Packed my bags grabbed my food and I was outie.
15:32Oh I for sure was getting high for sure for sure that was the motive like this
15:39I don't need it I'm going to get right and that's that I got my shit I got what
15:42I need I'll sell some stuff steal some stuff rob a dealer I don't care.
15:50But then I would be sleeping outside in the cold in the rain and probably hungry
15:54tomorrow maybe dope sick in a week stress her out stress other people out I guess.
16:06I don't know.
16:09It's like a split personality dude it sucks it's like us literally like a split personality.
16:14Addiction is real and siblings are real like we got in a big fight last night you know
16:21but we're back at it on day 21 and I'm glad that you're back and I'm happy you got in
16:25the car with me you know when you're. I don't even know if I'm gonna have it.
16:34Yeah I wasn't sure you were gonna get on either.
16:36You want to throw those needles out of my bag?
16:38Yeah you want to do it?
16:41No I don't want to do it.
16:43You want me to do it?
16:44Sure.
16:46You packed a bag last night when you was leaving.
17:07Should I bury them?
17:10Should we make a flower out of them?
17:12Break them.
17:13Break them?
17:17I don't even know how needles work man.
17:19What do I do?
17:21One time I was sleeping and he was passed out off dope and like he was really fucked
17:26up one night and I was just like you know there's only so much you could do when someone's
17:30like that so I was just like chilling next to him like trying to like talk him out of
17:33his like depression cycle and there were so many needles in the bed there's so many
17:39and like one of them almost like stabbed me too.
17:52You want to hug it out?
17:54No.
17:56Oh 21 days let's have that right here.
18:02Yay.
18:04Aww.
18:07I love you.
18:08I love you.
18:22I don't ever blame the addicts for their addiction.
18:26I've seen it when somebody's a heroin addict people have been telling them he's a junkie
18:29his whole life.
18:30Our dad calls him a junkie our mom doesn't she's an angel so he's upset about what happened
18:35last night and he put a cigarette on his arm he was like I did it he was like so I
18:40would never do that again I was like Ian you didn't do anything wrong like your experience
18:44is normal like this is okay you're doing well yeah it was really like you know that's just
18:50somebody who's in like a really just trying to change themselves and doesn't know how
18:55to you know.
19:06Of course like I'm going to constantly think about ways to rip and run or you know do something
19:11dumb or get high or drunk but I know that when I did have clean time like there were
19:18definitely were amazing times that I wouldn't replace that with getting high and you know
19:26your family starts liking you again that's cool people aren't hiding their wallets or
19:31their pocketbooks in front of you they're not like knocking on the bathroom door to
19:36make sure you're alive and you know checking your pulse when you're asleep I don't know
19:41I should count my blessings more than I don't.
19:52How many was that?
19:53Four.
19:54What day sober are we?
19:5621 days.
19:5821.
20:00How do you feel on day 21?
20:02Three weeks.
20:06Yup.
20:08How do you feel?
20:09How do you feel?
20:10I feel great.
20:11You feel like a new person?
20:12Life is just amazing everyone should do this.
20:28I love you.