Gentlemen's Day At The Races

Metatube

https://bit.ly/4bs2qk9 ⬅️ Play War Robots: Frontiers on PC, PlayStation 5 or Xbox Series X/S NOW! ✨Thank you to MY.GAMES for sponsoring this video!  How to play: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dt3kvc-rHM  SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames  WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU SEE Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Tommy Bowe // https://www.instagram.com/tomeybones/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ Trevor Evarts // https://www.instagram.com/trevorevarts/  WHO YOU DON’T SEE (usually) Director: Alex Tran Editor: Kortney Luby Director of Programming, Smosh Games: Spencer Agnew Producer, Smosh Games: Alex Tran Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Prop Master: Carly Hough Prop Assistant: Abby Schmidt Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Dina Ramli Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Videographer: James Hull Camera Operator: Eric Wann Camera Operator: Susie Shircliff Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis  OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast  FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh"

Transcript

00:00A tip for the slate?

00:01A tip for the slate?

00:02I'm not giving it to you.

00:03Oh, come over here.

00:04Jonathan, tip for the slate.

00:05You can't give me your tip.

00:06You can't give me your tip.

00:07I need a little tip over here.

00:08OK, thank you.

00:09I'm keeping mine for the game, but well done.

00:11If he doesn't want a tip, what am I going to do?

00:13Maybe he's playing right.

00:14I'm not going to force him to have a tip.

00:15Well done, boy.

00:16A 20% tip is included.

00:17Paul, keep getting Paul.

00:18What I do is I tip each cameraman before I come on stage

00:21so they know to get to my close-up.

00:23But they barely get your close-up, like.

00:25Oh, go to him.

00:26Go to him.

00:27You should tip your makeup artist more.

00:30My secret is I get up close to the camera.

00:33It's me.

00:34And you know I can't do it.

00:36I went to theater school and didn't learn that.

00:39That.

00:40That.

00:41Ahoy, ahoy.

00:43Welcome to Gentleman's Derby Days.

00:46Today we will be betting on horses and winning money

00:50or some of us losing money.

00:52Ha.

00:53Couldn't be me.

00:54The rules are simple.

00:55There's horses.

00:56They're numbered.

00:57We each have numbers that correspond with a horse.

01:00That's all it is.

01:01That's all it is.

01:02That's all it is.

01:03We're watching horses run and we're betting money.

01:06And it's as if the cards we've been dealt

01:08are the horses we've been betting on.

01:10I don't have cards.

01:11You shouldn't have any cards.

01:12Cheating as usual.

01:14Well, let's take it back.

01:16The only one with cards.

01:19Thanks to War Robots Frontiers for sponsoring this video.

01:22Are you like me and you wake up sometimes and think,

01:25Wow, my life is just way too calm.

01:27I wish I could pilot a gigantic customizable war robot

01:30and absolutely obliterate my enemies

01:32in massive 6v6 battles.

01:34And for free.

01:35Okay, maybe that's just a me thought,

01:37but that's okay.

01:38With War Robots Frontiers,

01:39you can build, adapt, and deploy your own war robot

01:42customizing with specialized weapons, skills,

01:45and modules to dominate the battlefield.

01:47This game is all about strategy and teamwork.

01:49You're not just running around and hoping for the best.

01:51This is tactical mech warfare.

01:53You're going to want to outflank your opponents,

01:55set up ambushes,

01:56and unleash devastating attacks

01:58in three different game modes

01:59across four highly detailed maps.

02:01And let's be honest,

02:02who doesn't want to stomp around

02:03in a massive, heavily armed robot

02:05while feeling the weight of every move?

02:07The physics are so immersive,

02:08it's like I can feel the cold metal under my feet.

02:11I should probably put my shoes back on.

02:13If that's not enough, though,

02:14the Under the Wire Battle Pass is available now.

02:17You can build and pilot

02:18the brand new war robot Cyclops

02:21and unlock over 35 galactic rewards

02:23including unique cosmetics and battle gear.

02:25War Robots Frontiers is available for free

02:27on PC, PS4, PS5, Xbox One,

02:30and Xbox Series X and S.

02:32Click the link in the description below

02:33to download War Robots Frontiers,

02:35get some free rewards,

02:36and start your journey

02:37as the ultimate war robot pilot today.

02:40Do we need to introduce ourselves?

02:41Yes, we shall.

02:43My name is Dr. Fiddlesticks,

02:47my first name is F.

02:49Fiddlesticks.

02:50My first name is Marquis,

02:52but you can call me Doctor.

02:54Marquis?

02:55What is that, French?

02:57Yes, my mother's girlfriend was French.

03:01Your mother had a girlfriend?

03:03Yes, lesbians are out there!

03:05Watch your backs, men!

03:09Moving on.

03:11Hello there!

03:13I am Lawrence Pimpled**,

03:16and I'm here with my best gents

03:18that I've met just there.

03:19Never met a Pimpled** I didn't like.

03:21That's correct!

03:23I've met a couple.

03:24Good family.

03:25Hello!

03:26I'm William Shatner.

03:29Good!

03:30Yeah!

03:31Good man.

03:32Haven't heard of that?

03:33Never.

03:34Because it's...

03:35Not yet.

03:36Original.

03:37Right?

03:38Yes, I'm William Shatner,

03:40and I come from a long line

03:42of men who deal in fruits.

03:46What kind of fruits?

03:47Mangos?

03:48Cheap exotics.

03:50Don't ask about the kind of fruits

03:51I'm abused with.

03:52Don't ask about a man's fruits.

03:54Mine are large and sapple.

03:57Yours?

03:59Anyways, moving on.

04:01Just suck the air to the room

04:02with that one ding-dong.

04:03I'll suck on this cigarette until I die.

04:05Hello, hello!

04:06I am...

04:09I am...

04:10Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

04:13That's my name,

04:15and that's...

04:16Did you spend all night in the strip last night?

04:19What?

04:20What did she do?

04:21The strip.

04:22Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da!

04:23No, that's cringe.

04:24Cringe as hell.

04:25Let's take it back.

04:26Okay.

04:27Let's call you Da-da.

04:28I'm Dylan.

04:29Okay!

04:30All right.

04:31Perfect!

04:32A better name!

04:34Good name!

04:35Good name!

04:36Dylan!

04:37Great, Dylan.

04:38You may call me the Duke.

04:39Yeah, the Duke!

04:40Yeah, the Duke!

04:41Or your Highness, your Grace,

04:43any of them.

04:45No, just the Duke.

04:46I'll call you Duke.

04:47The Duke.

04:48Yeah.

04:49What about Duke Junior?

04:50I don't think...

04:51Would you describe yourself as hazardous?

04:53Uh, I would describe myself as exquisite.

04:56Oh!

04:57Exquisite!

04:58Listen, listen, above board,

04:59I was talking to a friend the other day, really.

05:01Yes.

05:02Have you ever met a girl junior?

05:04No!

05:05No!

05:06I don't think I have.

05:07Why?

05:08Have I ever met a girl the second?

05:09Do you have a girl?

05:10No!

05:11Elizabeth, Elizabeth.

05:12Because they're not good heirs.

05:13No, that's because she's the second child.

05:14No, that's because she's the second queen that day.

05:15Yeah, yeah.

05:16Oh, but not a second in real...

05:17No!

05:18That's not royalty.

05:19Yes, that was just above board for Elizabeth.

05:21That's excellent!

05:22We should write a book about it.

05:24I say, I think women like the hubris of men.

05:26I'm going to deal cards now.

05:27Okay.

05:28Okay, yes, yes.

05:29I want to bet on these horses!

05:30I heard that Seabiscuit might win this round.

05:33Hey!

05:34Wipe your mouth out of your soul.

05:35I love Seabiscuit.

05:36He's Dylan's horse.

05:37I like Seabiscuit as well.

05:38I say...

05:39He was once.

05:40I say Downtown Brown is the one to look out for.

05:42Oh, I'm looking after Pimple P***y.

05:44Oh, Pimple P***y.

05:45What a fast runner that little p*** is.

05:48They have an ointment at the parlor that can cure that.

05:51Oh, it must be Newell.

05:53Yes.

05:54Have you dealt with that problem for a while?

05:56Okay, a tip for the dealer.

05:58Don't give him money.

05:59Don't give him money.

06:00Don't play it against him.

06:01It's so good to have cash in your hand.

06:03Cash is king.

06:04That's what I am.

06:06I've heard gold standard is one to look out for.

06:09I say, what is the jack?

06:10Eleven.

06:11What is the queen?

06:12The queen is twelve.

06:13Twelve.

06:14Can you guess what the king is?

06:16Thirteen.

06:17There is still thirteen.

06:18Oh, guess what he is?

06:19Dead.

06:20Ha!

06:21I can only hope.

06:23We're going to start with four horses in the money pot.

06:26I say, I've got a lot of my eggs in the same basket.

06:29Why?

06:30Well, how many horse eggs do you have?

06:32Here we go.

06:33Three.

06:34That's three.

06:35Put them on the twenty-five.

06:36So three will represent twenty-five dollars into the pot.

06:38Oh, good sir.

06:39There you go.

06:40Well, it starts with two.

06:41Once more.

06:42Yes, let's see which horse will represent fifty dollars.

06:47Ah, snake eyes.

06:48The deuce.

06:49The deuce.

06:50Those look like two supple titties.

06:52Oh, I love supple titties.

06:53Yes, me too.

06:55To play with.

06:56A nine.

06:57Seventy-five.

06:58Well, that's quite unfortunate for me.

07:00Throw those dice over here, Duke.

07:02Same.

07:03What's your name again?

07:04Dylan.

07:05Can I call you Dylan?

07:06Dylan.

07:07Great.

07:09I'm William Shatner.

07:10Of course.

07:11Who knew?

07:12And I'm Lawrence.

07:13Of course.

07:14How do I do math?

07:15So that's ten, darling.

07:16Ah.

07:17So ten will represent a hundred dollars and everything else is free to play.

07:20That's correct.

07:21You're Pimple D***, what's your first name?

07:22Lawrence.

07:23Oh, very nice.

07:24I'll call you Pimple D***.

07:25Okay.

07:26Is it a family name?

07:27Look at these horses.

07:28No.

07:29No.

07:30So, now we play.

07:31Yes.

07:32Yes.

07:33Off to the races.

07:34Nay.

07:36Oh, you just shot two birds.

07:38Oh.

07:39Dinner.

07:40Let's go.

07:41Who would like to go first?

07:42You.

07:43Me.

07:44Yes.

07:45Okay.

07:46How'd you get it stuck like that?

07:47Oh, well, it's between my tooth and my lip.

07:48Fantastic.

07:51All right, that's an eight.

07:53And we're off.

07:54Pull my little man up just a tiny, tiny bit.

07:56Invisible.

07:57That's wonderful.

07:58Hey, that's my downtown brown.

07:59Downtown brown is number eight.

08:01Downtown brown.

08:03Number nine.

08:05That's a nine.

08:06Unfortunately.

08:07Unfortunately, that is how much?

08:08$75.

08:09That's the Muffin Man.

08:10So, since the nine is in the money pot, I have to put money in.

08:14Oh, never mind.

08:16I'm renaming it.

08:1775 pounds.

08:18Because Muffin Man's not going anywhere.

08:19Muffin Man, money in the pot.

08:21This is American dollars.

08:22Fine.

08:23That is, number nine is the Muffin Man.

08:24Let me see six.

08:25Where are we?

08:26Are we in America?

08:27Is this the Kentucky Derby?

08:29Yes.

08:30So, four.

08:31Kentucky.

08:32Four.

08:33Yes.

08:34Go, Lassie, go!

08:35Go, go!

08:36Is that Seabiscuit?

08:37Yes, this is the Kentucky Derby.

08:38I would like a drink.

08:39A seven.

08:40A lucky number seven.

08:41Seven.

08:42Seven.

08:43The most common number.

08:44Give me the dice.

08:45It's very far from here.

08:47Listen, because of my cards, I'll be rooting for six.

08:49Seabiscuit, six.

08:50I say I'll give a bit of a shout for six as well.

08:53Yes.

08:54Hey, man, let's go.

08:55I'm rooting for number 12.

08:57And that's what I call the Chestnut Man.

08:59Chestnut Man.

09:00Go, Chestnut Man.

09:01Go, Chestnut Man.

09:02Go.

09:03I'm also rooting for number 12.

09:05You moved my horse for me.

09:07A man can do his own bidding.

09:10Ha!

09:11All right, Duke.

09:12I see you trying to do my dirty work.

09:14Listen, look how much money is in the pot right now.

09:16Where is it?

09:17It's not quite a lot, but it's right there.

09:19$75 pittance to a man like me.

09:22This is the funniest thing I've ever seen.

09:24Oh, I highly doubt it.

09:26You can sleep with a cigarette.

09:28I love it.

09:29Six.

09:30Incredible.

09:31Go, man, go.

09:32Go, Seabiscuit, go.

09:33All of the horses have started.

09:35All the horses that we don't know their names are named Seabiscuit.

09:37No, no, no, no.

09:38Just six.

09:39Six is Seabiscuit.

09:40Just six is Seabiscuit.

09:42Eight.

09:43That's Downtown Browning.

09:45That's Downtown Browning.

09:47That's Downtown Browning.

09:48There we go.

09:50Okay, Seabiscuit.

09:51Go, Seabiscuit.

09:52Go.

09:53Seabiscuit, go.

09:54Seabiscuit, go.

09:55Yes, Seabiscuit, go.

09:56It's a lovely day at the races, I must say.

09:58If anyone would like to roll a 12, I'd be rather excited about that.

10:01Okay, at the races.

10:02Wait, I want 12.

10:03That's another eight for Downtown Browning.

10:05Downtown Browning.

10:06Downtown Browning.

10:07This is not working out well.

10:09Duke.

10:10There you go, Duke.

10:12My apologies.

10:13Seabiscuit.

10:14That's not 12.

10:15Damn it.

10:16That is nine.

10:17You put 75 in the pot.

10:18It's nine.

10:19You put 75.

10:20Well, look at that.

10:21You took a shit in your pants and you ate it.

10:2212 in the pot.

10:23How did you know that I ate it?

10:24That's disgusting.

10:25I can see the curiosity on your face.

10:2875.

10:2975.

10:3012.

10:31Is she rolling a 12?

10:32No.

10:3311 and 11.

10:34No.

10:35Nine.

10:36I say, does anyone know where a gentleman can get a spot of that Kentucky bourbon?

10:39Oh, yes.

10:40Bourbon.

10:41Some bourbon, please.

10:42Can we get some bourbon?

10:43Maybe a bourbon for the table.

10:45Can we get some bourbon?

10:47I'd like some bourbon.

10:48I like to throw up when I say it.

10:50Bourbon.

10:51All right, 12.

10:52Give me a 12, please.

10:54Okay, it's Seabiscuit again.

10:56Seabiscuit.

10:57Go, Seabiscuit.

10:58Go, Seabiscuit.

10:59Go.

11:00I'm not doing well.

11:01What are you feeding?

11:02The Seabiscuit is going so far.

11:03I'll tell you this.

11:04Come on, read.

11:05Seabiscuit.

11:06I say, my boys are doing well today.

11:09Oh, my God.

11:10Honestly?

11:11I'm going to get into bedding from this game.

11:14You're going to get into bed?

11:16I'm going to bedding.

11:17Bedding.

11:18I feel hot, Seabiscuit.

11:19The Santa Anita racetrack is lovely this time of year.

11:22I fear this would be a bad thing for you.

11:24Seabiscuit.

11:25Seabiscuit.

11:26This is bad.

11:27This is bad.

11:28Go, Seabiscuit.

11:29Go.

11:30I say, if this isn't a sign to gamble, I don't know what is.

11:32Yes.

11:33Yes, it is.

11:34Eight.

11:35Incredible downtown brown.

11:36Downtown brown.

11:37I'm rooting for downtown brown.

11:38Nothing that I want is winning.

11:40No.

11:41Please make it.

11:42Well, then roll the dice together.

11:43I need to feed these horses more meat, maybe horse meat.

11:45Yes.

11:46No.

11:47Yes.

11:48That's cannibalism.

11:49Eight.

11:50Downtown brown.

11:51Downtown brown.

11:52Brown.

11:53Brown.

11:54Let's see what we've got.

11:55Seabiscuit.

11:56It's number four.

11:57Oh.

11:58Oh, it's my little milk and creamy.

11:59Oh.

12:00I'm also rooting for milk and creamy.

12:02Milk and creamy.

12:03I'm also rooting for milk and creamy.

12:04I'm actually not rooting for milk and creamy.

12:06I am.

12:07I am.

12:08It's my horse.

12:09I am as well.

12:10I would love milk and creamy to go.

12:11Let's go downtown brown.

12:12Eleven.

12:13Eleven.

12:14It's uptown brown.

12:15That's good.

12:16Uptown brown.

12:17Uptown brown.

12:18Billy Joel.

12:19Uptown brown.

12:20Uptown.

12:21She's been living in her uptown brown.

12:22Down.

12:23Uptown gown.

12:24Uptown gown.

12:25I quite like that.

12:26Horses can't wear gowns.

12:27All you have to do is a gown.

12:28You've never seen a horse in a gown.

12:29Where have you been?

12:30You've got two more slots.

12:31Downtown brown.

12:32Downtown brown.

12:33He's in the home stretch.

12:34Wait.

12:35One more gallop.

12:36One more trot and he's at the end of the road.

12:37The home stretch.

12:38His face is in the way.

12:39Let's see if I can roll another eight.

12:40A ten.

12:41Oh, my.

12:42Oh, dear.

12:43Well.

12:44A hundred dollars.

12:45Oh, dear.

12:46Oh, dear.

12:47Oh, dear.

12:48Oh, dear.

12:49Oh, dear.

12:50Oh, dear.

12:51Oh, dear.

12:52Oh, dear.

12:53A hundred dollars.

12:54I don't quite mind because I'm about to win anyway.

12:55Oh, it's the Muppet, man.

12:56It's time to roll the deal.

12:57No, no, no, no.

12:58No, no, no, no.

12:59Seabiscuit must win.

13:00Not Supe-

13:01Give me dikes.

13:02I fear you might change the game as well.

13:06Horse!

13:07It's Milk and Creamy.

13:08Oh, Milk and Creamy!

13:09I love Milk and Creamy.

13:10Yes, yes, yes.

13:11I love Milk and Creamy.

13:12What a sweet white creamy horse.

13:13Was that the second time?

13:14It's the third.

13:15It's the third.

13:16You like the creamy horse.

13:17Can we get that barboo?

13:18Oh, number seven, that's also mine.

13:21That's Midtown.

13:22Midtown Brown.

13:23Midtown Brown.

13:24Midtown.

13:25That's perfect, all right.

13:28Midtown Brown.

13:29This could win it right, yeah.

13:30See, Biscuit, don't fail me now.

13:34And 11 again.

13:35Very good for me, 11 is.

13:37I'll tell you what, Uptown Brown's one to look for.

13:39Uptown.

13:40Uptown's one key up.

13:41Here we go.

13:44Nine.

13:45Why does it take us so long to realize whatever it is?

13:48$75 in the pot.

13:50Why do we need to learn math?

13:52We just need to learn money and women.

13:54I don't need to learn anything besides

13:55how a woman's body has curves to it.

13:58I knew it.

14:00I like curves.

14:02I like to grip them.

14:03Hold it!

14:03Curves.

14:04Curves.

14:05The curves of a woman.

14:06I thought you meant milk curves.

14:07Those too.

14:09Okay, money in the pot.

14:10I'm feeling disgusting.

14:13I'm feeling pissed at Uptown Brown.

14:14That's true, Dylan.

14:1610.

14:17That's a 10.

14:18That's the Muffin Man.

14:20You must pay the Muffin Man.

14:22How unfortunate.

14:24It's okay, I've got a couple of horses

14:26that are leaning out there.

14:26Well, look at that, you must pay the Muffin Man.

14:28What is that?

14:29That's an eight for Downtown Brown.

14:31And Downtown Brown has won the race in downtown.

14:36Good show, good show.

14:38Good show, Downtown Brown.

14:39Get your act in the game!

14:41Don't pet your horse.

14:43Gentlemen, I've got two bets on Downtown Brown,

14:46so I'll be taking half of the pot.

14:48I've got one.

14:49And I've got one as well.

14:51You have none.

14:52I want a tea biscuit.

14:53No, a sea biscuit.

14:54Tea biscuit or milk and creamy.

14:56Wait, wait.

14:57He's just splitting it into four.

14:59I don't like when men just take.

15:01200.

15:03I want to be the one to take.

15:05300.

15:06Oh, this sucks.

15:07What will you do?

15:09No, it does.

15:10No, it does.

15:11No, it does.

15:12I would like my money.

15:13425.

15:16Okay, so I'll take 200.

15:18So let's do the hundreds first.

15:19And then we'll do, no, you see,

15:21this is how we're going to do it.

15:22I'm going to give you a 50.

15:23I'm not going to give you a 50.

15:25Okay.

15:26This is so funny.

15:27And I'm going to give you another 50.

15:28And I'm going to give you another 50.

15:29What about me just for fun?

15:31And this 25 is going into the next pot.

15:33Okay.

15:34That's left over.

15:35It's time for a cultural reset.

15:35Do you want to shuffle?

15:36You shuffle.

15:37You shuffle.

15:38I'll do it.

15:39Let's get these sad ones out and wash them up

15:41and then get some new ones in there.

15:44Look at that.

15:45They retired.

15:45New horses, new horses.

15:46New horses, new horses.

15:47So you're telling me we have to come up with 12 names

15:49for every race.

15:50Every race.

15:51That's right.

15:52Every race.

15:53That's correct.

15:54We're running out of towns and browns.

15:55Well, let's switch it up.

15:56There's still the west side and east side.

15:58Don't forget the northeast.

15:59Brooklyn Browns.

16:01Southeast.

16:02Oh, I cannot wait to name these.

16:03Oh.

16:04Oh.

16:05I say in about 20 to 25 minutes,

16:06we put real money in the pot.

16:08Well, this is real money.

16:09How dare you?

16:10You know what I mean.

16:11She means bring out your Venmo,

16:14bring out your Zelle.

16:15No.

16:15EBT.

16:16I left my phone in my car.

16:19Car?

16:21Yes, it's a coach.

16:22It's a little buggy with a horse and a hole where I sit.

16:25Does it have a motorized engine?

16:27Yes, I put a motor on it.

16:29Nothing like-

16:30Motor boat on it.

16:30You put a motor on a boat.

16:32I love a good hole to sit in.

16:34Me too.

16:35Duke, I just don't trust you.

16:36If I win the money, I'm going to buy a boat.

16:38I think I'm gonna need one more.

16:39And go to the Amazon.

16:40A steamboat.

16:42Are you taking a trip?

16:43Yes, of course.

16:44I want to see the monkeys.

16:45Going on a journey.

16:46Ooh.

16:46I want to see the monkeys.

16:47I heard there was a man raised by monkeys.

16:50Raised by monkeys?

16:51Raised by monkeys.

16:52Where is he?

16:53I know, he swings from vines.

16:55He swings from vines.

16:56Oh.

16:57Is his name Tarzan?

16:58Sounds like it should be a motion picture.

17:00No, I've got quite the spread.

17:01I believe I've put money on nearly

17:03all of the horses this time.

17:04Okay, well let's-

17:05Wait, can we scratch them?

17:07We find out, yes, pet them.

17:08Scratch them.

17:09It's time to scratch the horses.

17:11I really like number 12.

17:12It's time to scratch the horses.

17:13I heard they like it behind the ears.

17:14Six, seven, eight, nine, 10.

17:15They do.

17:16You have to rub the horses to be-

17:17Number 10 equals 25.

17:22Number four equals 50 bucks.

17:24Very fine, very fine.

17:28Six.

17:29Oh, Seabiscuit.

17:31Seabiscuit is out of the race.

17:33This is very good for me.

17:33Seabiscuit is-

17:34This is not fair, because I have three sixes.

17:37Whoa, do you know what that is?

17:38Well, I guess you won't be getting any money.

17:39How is it not fair?

17:41Dylan, you made a deal with the-

17:42Oh, number two is gone for a hundred.

17:44You put all of your eggs in the sea basket.

17:47All right, chance.

17:48Come on, gents.

17:50Mr. William, it is your turn to start the race.

17:52Just a bit of fun.

17:53Come on, gents, just a bit of fun.

17:55Oh my God, I am losing everything.

17:58Look at this.

17:59Oh no.

18:01Look at this, the only horse I need to win is seven, eight.

18:04Oh my God.

18:05Seven and eight are high probability cards.

18:07Here we go.

18:08Here we go.

18:09Go ahead, William.

18:11Yes, please.

18:12Horses, on your mark.

18:14Get set.

18:14How do they know when to go?

18:16The shark.

18:16When they hear the gun, one of them gets killed

18:19and the rest run.

18:19But they all know that the gun means to start running?

18:23Absolutely.

18:24I hear they used to execute a peasant.

18:30It's rather efficient, actually.

18:32Let's start the race.

18:33And we're off.

18:35We draw the line in peasant execution.

18:38Come on, Vaughn.

18:38Unfortunately, you started off on a bad foot.

18:40I don't want to talk about it.

18:41I have two bad feet.

18:42I have, oh.

18:44They were both lost in Peru.

18:45Oh, Peru.

18:46I don't go there.

18:48I have gout in my left foot.

18:49Seven.

18:50Like a cub.

18:51Yes, yes, that's Delilah.

18:53Run, Delilah, run.

18:55Hey there, Delilah.

18:56Hey there, Delilah, run.

18:58Go, Delilah, go.

18:59Oh, no.

19:00Unfortunately, that's $100.

19:01That is unfortunate.

19:03That's right.

19:04He's got a runny despair.

19:05I made out like a bandit last race.

19:06Yes.

19:07I'm going to win this time, men.

19:09Watch me.

19:10Oh, three.

19:11Three?

19:12Oh, I don't have that.

19:12I do, so thank you.

19:13That's Johnny.

19:14Johnny Knox.

19:15Johnny Knox.

19:16Johnny Knox.

19:17Johnny Knox.

19:17Up, up.

19:18Up, up.

19:19Oh.

19:20Nine.

19:21No, take another look.

19:2211.

19:23That's an 11.

19:24No.

19:24Oh, good, yes.

19:25Wait.

19:26All right.

19:27Let's put.

19:28That's Midwest Brown.

19:31Midwest Brown.

19:32It's crazy that that still is stuck.

19:35What's that?

19:36Seabiscuit.

19:36Nevermind.

19:38Seabiscuit.

19:39No.

19:40Okay.

19:41Seabiscuit is.

19:42Don't inhale.

19:43No.

19:45Wait, which one's Seabiscuit?

19:46Six.

19:47Six.

19:49Eight.

19:50Come on.

19:51Come on.

19:51That's Downtown Brown.

19:52Downtown Brown.

19:53That's Downtown Brown.

19:54It's back.

19:55Downtown Brown is back.

19:56That one stays Downtown Brown.

19:57I thought we would try it.

19:57So it's Seabiscuit and Downtown Brown.

19:58Seabiscuit and Downtown Brown.

19:59That's fine.

20:00That's fine.

20:0110.

20:02Oof, 25.

20:03Ooh, sucks to suck.

20:04Oh, that's awful.

20:0525 is pittance for a man like me.

20:0630.

20:08All right.

20:09What's number 11 again?

20:10Wow, you all have so many cards.

20:11Midwest Brown.

20:12Midwest Brown.

20:12Come on, Midwest Brown.

20:14Seven.

20:15That's seven.

20:15Oh yes, Delilah.

20:16Go, Delilah.

20:17Go.

20:18Hey there, Delilah.

20:19Go.

20:20I don't care for Delilah, actually.

20:21I don't need it.

20:22Oh, go fuck yourself.

20:23All right.

20:24What'd you call him, Earl Grey?

20:26That's Johnny Knox.

20:27Johnny Knox.

20:27I love Earl Grey.

20:28Johnny Knox.

20:29He'll be Earl Grey next round.

20:30Okay, a three.

20:31That's what I wanted.

20:32Johnny Knox.

20:33Incredible.

20:34This is good.

20:35This is good.

20:36Wow, it's all going well for me.

20:37I want Downtown Brown,

20:39but I want to name one, too.

20:41Naming them a fun.

20:42Nine.

20:44Ooh, ooh, a name, a name.

20:45A name.

20:46Um, um, um.

20:48How about.

20:49Sir, sir, sir, sir.

20:50The name.

20:51Control yourself, please.

20:52The name of this horse shall be.

20:54The name of this horse shall be.

20:56Call the bishop.

20:57Samson.

20:58Samson.

20:59Samsonite.

21:00No, Samson.

21:01Oh, it's a very lovely name.

21:02Biblical.

21:03You almost taken by the demons there.

21:04Taken by the Lord.

21:05Can I say a couple of bets on Samson?

21:07Yes, I have a late son called Samson.

21:09Seven, seven.

21:10Seven.

21:11Is that my dear Delilah?

21:12Delilah.

21:12That's beautiful.

21:13That's my dear Delilah.

21:14Delilah's pulling out a hair.

21:15Wait, was that seven or eight?

21:16You just moved.

21:17Sorry.

21:18It's okay.

21:18He does not have good depth perception.

21:20Numbers are hard, but money's important.

21:22Now that's Downtown Brown.

21:24That is in fact Downtown Brown.

21:26I can smell Downtown Brown from a mile away.

21:28I bet you do.

21:29And that's because you didn't clean him.

21:30I bet you do.

21:32Oh, that's Johnny Knox.

21:33Incredible.

21:34It's not like I need him, but I like that name.

21:36Up, Johnny Knox, up!

21:37Thank you so much for pushing this to three along.

21:39You're welcome.

21:41Johnny Knox is five.

21:43Oh, for the first time, it's Peanut Butter.

21:46Peanut Butter!

21:48Can I call it PB for short?

21:50No, absolutely not.

21:51They're making butter out of nuts now.

21:56That's a 10.

21:5710.

21:57I can't do it.

21:58Oh.

21:59Money in the pot.

22:01It's good, I enjoy giving charity.

22:04The pot's looking rather large this time.

22:06Seven.

22:07That's Delilah moving up one more.

22:09Come on, Delilah!

22:10I don't like Delilah.

22:12We already moved it.

22:12That's where she was.

22:13We don't need to touch it again.

22:15I'm fixing her back legs.

22:16Nothing was wrong.

22:18Dylan.

22:20Another one for Downtown Brown.

22:22It's weird when we roll for our horses.

22:25Thank you for always giving me the dice,

22:27as the Duke does not.

22:28I did last turn.

22:29Oh, okay.

22:30I'm trying to remember.

22:31It's a long way to remember.

22:33Oh no, that's 50 for the pot.

22:35It's not very good.

22:37This pot's getting big.

22:38Cheers.

22:39It's just little bills.

22:41Little bills.

22:42There you go.

22:43You just need a 10.

22:44Okay.

22:45Two fives.

22:46You're ruining, we're getting all of that on audio.

22:48It's only what, one?

22:49It's Abraham Lincoln.

22:52No, no, no, no.

22:53Not again.

22:54Not again.

22:54Nope.

22:56If you were there that night, he would have lived.

22:58I know.

22:58Dreadful business.

22:59Oh dear, it's my first time putting money in the pot.

23:0375.

23:04What is that in an English pound?

23:07Your mother.

23:08It depends on how much you bought her with.

23:10That was my mother.

23:11You must sell her.

23:12Roll that roll.

23:13Incredible.

23:14I've been trying to get rid of her forever.

23:15Anyways.

23:16That's an eight.

23:17Down, down, down.

23:18Down, down, down.

23:19Once again, moving forward.

23:20There you go.

23:22Meh.

23:23Meh.

23:24Let me tell you this.

23:24What's number three again?

23:25Johnny Knox.

23:26Johnny Knox.

23:27Johnny Knox is one away from the one.

23:28No, two.

23:29You're two away.

23:30Oh.

23:30Oh, well, good.

23:31That's 11.

23:33That's good.

23:34No, that's Midwest, bro.

23:35Midwest.

23:36That's all the way back there.

23:39I can't wait.

23:40Oh, another one for Downtown Brown.

23:43Rolling for Downtown Brown.

23:45Good.

23:46I feel as if you and Downtown Brown should kiss.

23:49Eight.

23:50Another one for Downtown Brown.

23:52Kiss that horse right on the mouth.

23:53I say he's the horse of the day.

23:56Come on, come on.

23:57Downtown Brown.

23:58Downtown Brown.

24:01I actually won something.

24:03Good man.

24:04I did.

24:04Downtown Brown.

24:05Downtown Brown.

24:06Did you get Downtown Brown?

24:07No, I didn't.

24:08No.

24:09I don't make any money off it.

24:09You're a fool.

24:10So, who has Downtown Brown?

24:12Me.

24:12The four of us.

24:13Oh, shit.

24:14Split four ways.

24:15Oh, I guess I'm fucked in my anus.

24:18That's fine.

24:19Wouldn't be the first time.

24:20And it won't be the last.

24:21You're right.

24:22How do you do that?

24:23It's the only way I do it.

24:23Gentlemen, feel free to get rolling.

24:24How is it stuck like that?

24:25Yeah, how is it?

24:26What's that?

24:27I can't get over how it's stuck.

24:29I have a rather dry mouth,

24:31and this is made of paper.

24:32He's trying it.

24:33I don't think you should try it.

24:34Not with that.

24:34Suck your mouth.

24:35And just make your top lip a little tight,

24:36and it'll stay right there.

24:38Show off those front chompers.

24:40So, do I have to?

24:41You're pushing it down.

24:41That's rather large compared to mine.

24:43Duke, you see this?

24:45Yeah.

24:48Pretty high.

24:49So, where's everyone's wives today, huh?

24:51Pretty high.

24:53She's passed.

24:54Which one?

24:55Time.

24:56Oh.

24:58When they pass their prime,

24:58they're out the door.

24:59You know what I'm saying?

25:0031.

25:0120.

25:02I'll tell you where my wife is.

25:03In a bad mood.

25:05What?

25:06Right.

25:07In a bad mood.

25:07Bad mood.

25:09I can't stand when they're in a bad mood.

25:10I'm like, shape up, ship out.

25:12Shape up, ship out.

25:13I'm the one that you should be happy for.

25:16Put them there in the middle.

25:19Are you drunk, Dylan?

25:20Hey.

25:21We haven't had our bourbon.

25:22Can we get our boob?

25:23We're still waiting on the bourbon.

25:26Yes, I want five glasses of bourbon.

25:29Someone just pour the freaking bourbon.

25:33This is all I'm getting.

25:35Sure.

25:35Good.

25:36We need to make the pot bigger.

25:37Good show, old man.

25:38Duke, thank you for handing all that money out.

25:39Of course.

25:40You know I'm the financier.

25:41120.

25:42Fine.

25:43I'll take it.

25:44I'll say it once and I'll say it twice.

25:46It's good to have cash.

25:47It's good.

25:48Cash is king.

25:49Cash is king.

25:50Cash is king.

25:52I hope they never get rid of it.

25:53I hope they only have like credit cards only.

25:55I hope that never happens, you know?

25:57I don't think it will.

25:58What would they replace cash with?

26:00I don't know.

26:01Stones.

26:02Apple pay?

26:04You think I'd pay with apples?

26:05I've heard they're trying out this new thing

26:06called a fiat currency.

26:08Imagine your note not being tied to gold somewhere.

26:12That's crazy.

26:15That's bizarre.

26:16Imagine just having a piece of paper worth nothing.

26:18Why?

26:19I think it was.

26:20No one would believe it.

26:21Incredibly.

26:22How could you keep a wife?

26:24How can you keep a wife?

26:25You keep a wife with your dick man.

26:28And bars.

26:29My wife hasn't seen my dick in years.

26:32Where did it go?

26:33No.

26:34Have you even seen it?

26:35No, sir.

26:36Sometimes I take a magnifying glass down there

26:37to make sure it's still there.

26:39Sometimes I will eat so much candy corn

26:43that my stomach will come out like it's a just,

26:46like it's one of my third wives.

26:48And she's carrying tweens.

26:50What's the voice?

26:51I love tweens.

26:54You just messed up my count.

26:55It's okay.

26:57It's not.

26:58I must say, I seem to have gotten

27:00an incredible amount more cards this round.

27:02Wait.

27:03I think last round I had seven.

27:04Gentlemen, let's count.

27:06Oh no, I have eight.

27:07I have eight.

27:07I have one more.

27:08One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

27:12Does anyone want to trade?

27:13Trading.

27:14Does anyone want a queen?

27:17I'm saying.

27:17Is it a horse?

27:18Look at that horse.

27:19I've only got one on downtown Brown

27:21and if anyone's willing to give one up,

27:22I'd take another.

27:23But I'll trade my 11 for your 11.

27:28Well, that's rather silly.

27:29That feels right.

27:30I'm not trading because it feels wrong.

27:32Oh, what?

27:33You scared of a little playing with fate?

27:35Now, gentlemen.

27:35No.

27:36Do you have two of anything?

27:38We could split.

27:38I could give you a 10 for something.

27:40Yes, please.

27:41What about me?

27:42I will give someone a queen and a deuce for an eight.

27:46I have one eight.

27:47I don't have that also.

27:48I'm not doing it.

27:48I have one on uptown Brown

27:50and I will always have one on uptown Brown

27:51and I won't sell it.

27:52You can have one if you want.

27:53You want my six.

27:54Whatever.

27:54Yes.

27:55Yes, I would.

27:56I'll give someone a 12 and a two for a single eight.

27:58Look at that.

27:59I traded.

28:00We traded over here.

28:01We already traded.

28:02That's right.

28:02We're done.

28:03Does anyone want a jack?

28:05I do.

28:07I'm not trading the jack.

28:08Why not?

28:09Because it's simply stupid.

28:11You're simply stupid.

28:12Gentlemen.

28:13No, I'm dealing.

28:14No, you're simple and you're stupid.

28:15Hey, we're gentlemen here.

28:17Can you believe that?

28:18Roll for the scratch.

28:20That's the worst thing you can call a person.

28:22Roll for scratch.

28:22Which horses will be put down immediately?

28:25Oh, good.

28:27Six.

28:28Well, that sucks for me.

28:29Sea biscuits.

28:30Oh, I just traded you six.

28:31What an awful game.

28:32Sea biscuits out of the race.

28:34All right.

28:35Maybe we should have waited to trade.

28:36No, no, no.

28:37No, no, no.

28:38You can't do that.

28:39No, you have to trust your instincts.

28:40It has to be nothing first.

28:42Seven.

28:43Oh, wow.

28:44Oh, well, good.

28:45This is fantastic for me.

28:46This isn't going well for you.

28:47This is going to be a very big pot.

28:49I'm going to win a lot of money and buy that boat.

28:51Seven.

28:52Good God.

28:53Good God, Matt.

28:54What is happening?

28:56Eight.

28:57Oh, no.

28:57No.

28:58Downtown Brown.

28:59Oh, no.

29:00We ran it down.

29:01Downtown Brown is down for the count.

29:04Downtown Brown.

29:05What is it?

29:06We need-

29:07What am I to do?

29:08We need fan art of Trevor riding Downtown Brown.

29:10What am I to do?

29:11That's right.

29:12You asked for it.

29:13It will happen.

29:14That's my gold boy.

29:15Paul Seepage gets my boy and he's taking a break.

29:18Five, six, seven.

29:19That's seven.

29:20That's seven.

29:20Goodness gracious.

29:21Trap.

29:23Five.

29:24Three, four, five.

29:25Five.

29:26No.

29:27No.

29:28No.

29:28Was that milk and honey?

29:29No, that was peanut butter.

29:31Good God, man.

29:32I've got no horses.

29:35You've got no-

29:36I've got none.

29:38Welcome to me last round.

29:39Well, thank God I didn't get rid of my queen and my dears.

29:42See?

29:43We saved you, Matt.

29:45Wait a minute.

29:46I don't have a 60.

29:47The Seabiscuit's out.

29:48Right.

29:49God, man, I've got-

29:50Who represents 100?

29:51Five.

29:52Peanut butter.

29:53Peanut butter.

29:54Peanut butter.

29:55Okay.

29:56Seabiscuit, peanut butter, and who else are out?

29:59It's number six, seven, eight, and five.

30:02Here we go.

30:03All right.

30:03Here we go.

30:04I believe we've named seven.

30:05Delilah, right?

30:06Delilah.

30:07They changed it.

30:08They changed it.

30:09I don't know if I can keep up.

30:10Is queen 11 or 12?

30:11A queen is a 12.

30:12I think maybe we stick to some names here.

30:13I know exactly what's happening here.

30:15I think we change it up each time,

30:17so we never have to keep it the same.

30:19All right.

30:20Here we go.

30:21Off to the races, gents.

30:22Here's our first-

30:23Okay.

30:24Oh my God.

30:25Here's our first roll.

30:27We're so sorry.

30:29The ship is-

30:29Oh, it's not stabilized.

30:31I got it.

30:32I got it.

30:33I knew it was a bad idea to have a horse racing on a boat.

30:35I've got it.

30:37Sorry.

30:38I may have snuck a little bourbon before I came.

30:40Bourbon?

30:41But you know what?

30:41Speaking of that, can we get our bourbon?

30:43All right.

30:44Here we go.

30:45I've been waiting on that bourbon.

30:46That's 10.

30:47Fantastic.

30:48Oh, what's happening?

30:50Oh, it's mummy.

30:54Mummy.

30:55Mummy.

30:56I love mummy.

30:56Mummy's wonderful.

30:58Oh, so now, did you also sneak some bourbon?

31:00Oh, goodness.

31:00Good God.

31:01Are we on a ship or a seat?

31:04If the monarchy found out I was hanging out

31:05with you scoundrels, it'd be the death of me.

31:09Are we on a ship or a seat?

31:10Amber.

31:12Amber.

31:13Oh, she's gone.

31:14Amber on to-

31:15Like the alert, though.

31:16Yes.

31:17You said queen is 12.

31:19Yes.

31:20Yes.

31:21Five.

31:22I'm afraid you're a hundred dollars.

31:24Oh, cheers.

31:26Yes.

31:27Un-cheers.

31:28No.

31:29What about this one?

31:30No.

31:31Let me speak.

31:32Okay.

31:33You'll be able to speak.

31:34I just want to preface,

31:36no matter what comes out of your mouth,

31:38you're going to be a hundred dollars.

31:40But go ahead, speak, Dylan.

31:41Why don't we get a little creative?

31:43Why don't I put my first wife down on the pot?

31:46You can put your first wife down.

31:47Is she still alive?

31:48Is she not dead?

31:49Is she below 20 years of a bed?

31:52That felt dark.

31:53We're going to cut that.

31:54I don't think they will.

31:56We're going to cut that along

31:57with my executing peasants joke.

32:00Seven.

32:01Oh, God.

32:02No, yes.

32:03You owe money.

32:04This pot is going to be,

32:05I'm incredibly rich.

32:07I like a thick pot.

32:08No, I don't think it's that bad.

32:09You get, with the pot, you get to fuck around.

32:11I don't think it's bad, though.

32:12I don't know if I want to.

32:13It's a seven again.

32:14I've got a surplus of $20, no.

32:15That's $50 for the pot, darling.

32:18Fine.

32:19All right, mommy.

32:20Keep it coming down the line.

32:22Only 50.

32:24All right.

32:25I'm betting on my mommy.

32:26Wait, let's get his money in the pot.

32:28No, I owe 75 for downtown brown.

32:32The pot is thickening.

32:35Whoa.

32:36The pot is thickening.

32:36That's wild.

32:37That's good.

32:38But it's the pot is thickening

32:40and the pot is thickening.

32:42Ooh.

32:42What are you making a roo?

32:43How about a blue ivy?

32:46Blue ivy, yeah, blue ivy.

32:47Blue ivy.

32:48I have money on blue ivy as well.

32:50Nine.

32:51Blue ivy.

32:52Blue ivy.

32:53Yeah.

32:55Ten.

32:56Yes, that's mommy.

32:57Mommy.

32:58Oh, wait.

32:59I love mommy.

33:00It's mommy and blue ivy.

33:01I love mommy.

33:02Mommy and blue ivy.

33:03Yes, mommy.

33:04Six.

33:05Six.

33:0625.

33:07Red bull.

33:0825.

33:09I say it was two.

33:10But I don't have the right change, so I can't.

33:13I'll give you change here.

33:13There's change in here.

33:15Here, take two fives.

33:16Give me a 20.

33:17I feel as if I beat my neck on too much.

33:20Give me a 20.

33:21Give me a 20.

33:22Can I have it?

33:23Give me a 20, that's fine.

33:24Goodness gracious.

33:25Can you do math?

33:26Okay, okay, okay, okay.

33:27Screaming at the top of your lungs, dunk.

33:2925, very good.

33:30Why do we have to learn math?

33:33Exactly.

33:34No reasons.

33:35How many gentlemen does it take

33:36to do a bit of arithmetic?

33:38Are we ready?

33:39Let's continue.

33:40Come on, mommy.

33:41Oh, unfortunately, no.

33:4325.

33:4325, that's not bad.

33:45This pot is fat.

33:46That's not bad.

33:47That's not bad.

33:48It's a fat pot.

33:51Oh, wow.

33:52It's a fat pot.

33:53Oh, man.

33:54Pot?

33:55Oh, what's her name?

33:57I fell very hard off the train.

33:59Do you have any touch of the fever?

34:01Huh?

34:01Well, my God, man, that pot is fat.

34:04That pot is fat.

34:05Tiffany is into the race.

34:07Oh, Tiffany.

34:09Which one's Tiffany?

34:10Number four.

34:11Thank you, sir.

34:12A bit of sweat.

34:15What happened to your...

34:16I swear, I think I bit it too hard.

34:18It's wet and soggy.

34:19It's rather wet.

34:20It's always wet and soggy.

34:21I don't like looking at it.

34:22You're like my fourth wife.

34:24Four, five, six.

34:25Oh, God, man, stop marrying us.

34:27Looks like 25 into the pot.

34:28Some would say that's seven.

34:30Oh, I must need my spectacle.

34:32Did you say cesarean?

34:34It's like a section.

34:35I hope not.

34:36Six.

34:37Like the section.

34:38Wow.

34:39This pot is thick.

34:41This is a fat pot.

34:43I fell off a train when I was 10.

34:45And then fell off again.

34:48I almost died, man.

34:50Blue Ivy.

34:51That's Blue Ivy, number nine.

34:52Moving past mom.

34:53Blue Ivy.

34:54All right, mommy, come on.

34:56I'm looking for my mommy.

34:59Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

35:00Oh, dear.

35:00I owe money to the pot again.

35:02Oh, God, man.

35:0350, okay.

35:04No one knows it's like 8 a.m. right now.

35:08I think they know.

35:09I mean that whole fat pot.

35:12Here we go, fat pot.

35:13I'm rooting for Blue Ivy.

35:16Seven.

35:17Seven again.

35:17Oh, God.

35:18And here we go, man.

35:20The pot is fat.

35:25When you fall off a train, you could get run over,

35:28but I didn't.

35:28I hit a rock instead.

35:30Really?

35:31Oh, that's good.

35:31Yes.

35:32I want to apologize to the room

35:33for that thing about my wife.

35:35Yes.

35:36Which one?

35:37Eight.

35:38Nine.

35:39Nine.

35:40Blue Ivy.

35:41Go, Blue Ivy, go.

35:42Oh, God.

35:43Who has money on Blue Ivy?

35:44I do, I do, but I would rather mommy.

35:46I would rather mommy as well.

35:47Look.

35:49I know.

35:50Lots of girl horses.

35:53You could be a boy.

35:55Eight.

35:55Eight, unfortunately, that's 75.

35:57I'm not looking between the lines.

35:58No.

35:58The pot is going for.

35:59I say no.

36:01Yes.

36:02Hold on.

36:03Okay.

36:04Two, four, six,

36:0675.

36:08F**ked.

36:09Oh, my God.

36:11It's killing me.

36:11You've got to stop doing that.

36:14If you do it too many times,

36:15they'll be stuck like that.

36:16That's what I heard.

36:17I fell off and I hope it does.

36:21You know why?

36:22Because then I could look at one set of women at a time.

36:26Really?

36:27Keep your focus.

36:28You like that one?

36:29I'm losing it, folks.

36:31Seven.

36:32God.

36:33$50.

36:34I'm not bought to think it.

36:36It's f**ked.

36:38F**ked.

36:39Okay.

36:40F**ked.

36:41Four, yes.

36:42Tiffany.

36:43Tiffany.

36:44Go Tiffany, she's so sweet.

36:45She is sweet.

36:46Oh, I have a lot of money on Tiffany.

36:48Me too.

36:49No, I have no money on Tiffany.

36:49I have no money on Tiffany.

36:50I've got money on Tiffany.

36:51Seven again.

36:53Oh.

36:53Good.

36:54Well, you know what that means.

36:55No, don't say it.

36:56F**ked.

36:57F**ked.

36:58F**ked.

36:59F**ked.

37:00Say it.

37:00It's a f**k.

37:01F**ked.

37:02Oh, my God.

37:04We've been in Kentucky for how long?

37:06Two days and seven hours.

37:08Two days in Kentucky over here in the colony.

37:10And we all share a bed

37:11because we're saving money for this game of the fat.

37:15That's right.

37:15Oh, f**k.

37:16F**ked.

37:17I'm so excited now for it to roll on the 6, 7, or 8.

37:2075.

37:21Oh, my God, yeah.

37:22Uh-oh.

37:23Uh-oh.

37:24Pooch.

37:25Get out of that, bitch.

37:26Huh?

37:28Amanda has no idea what's going on.

37:32Oh, shit.

37:32Oh, I don't even care about winning money anymore.

37:35I only care about when I can say that.

37:36Oh, that's fat f**ked.

37:38That's all I care about.

37:40We're going to get the constable called in.

37:42I don't know who we are.

37:44Yeah.

37:45Okay.

37:46He'll chase us in fast motion like this.

37:47We're going to be swung up.

37:49What is it now?

37:49You know what that means.

37:52You don't have any more cards, do you?

37:53Fat.

37:54F**ked.

37:55I need, I need change.

37:57Well, take it out of the pot then.

38:00Can you reach it?

38:01Hey, I'll tell you this.

38:02You need some change.

38:04The pot is so fat, you can take some of it.

38:06I need a lot because I only have 120 and a lot of 50s.

38:09I guess give me change.

38:11What's that?

38:1220.

38:12That's 20.

38:13And what does that do for me?

38:14It gives you more money to use of smaller amounts.

38:17When did you get two?

38:18I know.

38:19There's 50, give me that.

38:19Us not being able to do math isn't a bitch.

38:22Not a part of the bitch.

38:2525.

38:26Okay.

38:27We truly-

38:27That's a bad one.

38:31All right, mommy, come on, please.

38:33Mommy, mommy, mommy.

38:34Yes.

38:35No, no, that's five.

38:36That's a hundred.

38:37Damn, opposite reaction.

38:38A hundred in the pot.

38:39Fat.

38:40Oh, goodness.

38:42Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.

38:44Hey, that was your name.

38:46That's fat water.

38:47Let's go, Blue Ivy.

38:48We're going to have to find a synonym for fashion.

38:5012.

38:51Whoa.

38:52This pot is incredibly low charge.

38:53Oh, I love 12.

38:54Yeah, you do.

38:55Oh, it's Portland, Oregon.

38:58Portland.

38:59Go, go, go.

38:59Go, Portland.

39:00This is an up-and-coming joke.

39:03Is that over in the frontier?

39:04I guess.

39:05Six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

39:07It's mommy.

39:09Thank you so much.

39:10Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

39:12A mommy.

39:13A mommy.

39:14Ten again.

39:15A mommy.

39:16A mommy.

39:17No, no, no, no, no.

39:18A mommy.

39:19All right, we need one more.

39:20No, no, no, no, no.

39:22Give me mommy.

39:23Give me mommy.

39:24We've both-

39:25No, it's mommy.

39:27Fat.

39:28No.

39:28Hey, 75.

39:29You added to the pot.

39:30$75.

39:32It's a fat pot.

39:38Fat.

39:3950, 60, 75.

39:42I'm obsessed with this game.

39:44Okay, the pot has never been this fat.

39:52Look at all that cash.

39:53This is how fat the pot is.

39:55Look at all that cash.

39:58Yeah, give it a spread.

39:59Do you know how to do that?

40:00Oh, no, no, no.

40:01Uh-oh.

40:02Opposite way, I believe.

40:03Opposite way, I believe.

40:05Horizontal.

40:06Whoa.

40:07Horizontally?

40:08No.

40:09No.

40:10No, no.

40:11That was never gonna work.

40:12No.

40:13You know why it was never gonna work?

40:14Why?

40:15Because it was so fat.

40:17All right.

40:18Let's go.

40:19Where's the pot?

40:20Blue IV and mommy.

40:21Mommy needs one more, but blue IV needs two.

40:23Okay.

40:24Mommy.

40:26Mommy.

40:27Mommy.

40:28Mommy.

40:29We're gonna make out like that.

40:30Oh, it's you.

40:31Oh, it's.

40:32What the fuck is that?

40:33West side brown, I believe.

40:34All right, west side brown.

40:35West side brown.

40:37Nobody cares.

40:37My God, if you all are talking to me.

40:40Mommy, please.

40:41Mommy, please.

40:42It's 11.

40:43No, they're not.

40:44No.

40:45It's a new one.

40:46It's a new one.

40:46And the name is?

40:47Chunk.

40:48Chunk.

40:49He's not going far.

40:50No.

40:51He's not.

40:52Give it to me.

40:53Give me blue IV or Portland organ.

40:56Go.

40:57Seven.

40:58I'm afraid you owe money.

40:5950 in the pot.

41:00You got to add to the pot.

41:02Yes.

41:03And what should I do to it when adding it?

41:05Making it fat.

41:08Five.

41:09You owe a hundred.

41:11Thick.

41:12Thick.

41:13Thick.

41:14Pot.

41:15It's a thick pot.

41:15Girthy.

41:16Give me mommy.

41:17Why?

41:18Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy.

41:19Mommy.

41:20Mommy?

41:20Seven, you owe more money.

41:2350 in the pot.

41:26That's fine.

41:27This is going to make or break someone.

41:29Look how thick.

41:30Goodness gracious.

41:31It's a thick one.

41:32Look at that.

41:33I don't really understand that.

41:34I've never seen that in my life.

41:35Me either.

41:36I've never seen it as well.

41:37What is the problem?

41:38I actually don't want Dylan to do it anymore.

41:39I don't think it's.

41:40I keep showing the pot.

41:41Who would ever show it like that?

41:44No.

41:45No.

41:46No.

41:47Don't mess it up with your own money.

41:48She was trying to be sneaky.

41:50No.

41:51Okay.

41:52That's enough of the pot.

41:52Put the pot back in the pot.

41:54Get rid of the pot.

41:55Secret.

41:55All right.

41:56We've simply must continue the race.

41:58Mommy.

41:59Mommy.

42:00Mommy.

42:01It's nine.

42:01So it's in fact.

42:02Blue Ivy.

42:03Blue Ivy.

42:04No.

42:05She's got one more.

42:06Yeah.

42:06One more.

42:07All right.

42:08Come on, blue Ivy.

42:09Come on, blue Ivy.

42:10Come on, blue Ivy.

42:11Come on, blue Ivy.

42:11There we go.

42:12Come on, blue Ivy.

42:13Come on, blue Ivy.

42:14Come on, west side brown.

42:15West side brown.

42:16West side brown.

42:17West side brown.

42:18Come on, blue Ivy.

42:19Oh.

42:20$100 in the fat pot.

42:21Good.

42:22Good man.

42:23All right.

42:24The pot.

42:25The pot is the biggest I've ever seen.

42:26Blue Ivy.

42:27Come on, blue Ivy.

42:28Come on, blue Ivy.

42:29Come on, mommy.

42:30Mommy, please.

42:31Put him on an organ.

42:32Mommy, please.

42:32Mommy.

42:33Mommy, please.

42:34Put him in the queen.

42:35Nine.

42:36It's nine.

42:37Blue Ivy.

42:38Ivy.

42:38Actually, I like that.

42:39Good man.

42:40I have one.

42:41I also have a blue Ivy.

42:42Good man.

42:43Good man.

42:44Good man.

42:45Good man.

42:46Good man.

42:47No, don't shake his hand.

42:48He lost.

42:48All right.

42:50Woo-hoo!

42:51Spin it for me.

42:52Woo-hoo!

42:53Would you like me?

42:54Let's go.

42:54Since I'm the loser.

42:55Let him do it.

42:56Mommy's retired.

42:58This is my ticket for the winning circle.

43:00Seems to be that William Shatner has it in.

43:03I don't know the strategy.

43:04I have no idea of the strategy.

43:05Let's make sure that we're not being absolutely

43:07fucked in our anus.

43:08Are we being absolutely fucked in our anus?

43:09Are we being truly fucked in our little hole?

43:11Yes.

43:12I don't trust people who hum.

43:14You know what I genuinely don't like

43:16is when people whistle with vibrato.

43:20Whistlers should not be trusted.

43:21That's exactly true.

43:22Whistlers just sing like a man.

43:26Whistling is a scoundrel's hobby.

43:28I was in the choir.

43:2950.

43:30Let's hear some.

43:3150.

43:32Lord and ladies.

43:34Oh, this is great.

43:35I just did the intro.

43:36I just did the intro of the choir.

43:38Then I sat down the rest of the time.

43:39In the 50.

43:40In the warmup.

43:4020.

43:41Yes.

43:42So when you fell off that horse, how old were you?

43:43I fell off a train.

43:44Oh, a train.

43:45And hit my head on a rock.

43:46Oh God.

43:47Shall we leave that for the next round?

43:50I say, I seem to have lost an incredible amount of money.

43:52God, I love cash.

43:53Well, man, sucks to be a little bitch.

43:56I seem to have not received any notes.

43:58We're each going to pick two horses to bet on.

44:01So who would like first pick?

44:02You will put the most in the pot.

44:04I would.

44:06Whoa.

44:07Please go ahead.

44:08I was so close last round with Mommy.

44:10I'd like to go back on number 10, Miss Mommy.

44:13This is fun.

44:14180 on Downtown Brown.

44:18My boy.

44:19Which one is that?

44:20That's number eight.

44:21Eight.

44:22Eight.

44:22How much money is each horse?

44:24Eight.

44:25That's number eight.

44:26Eight.

44:27Not eight.

44:28Eight.

44:29Eight.

44:30I want to put money down.

44:32160, $160.

44:35On what?

44:36Oh Jesus, one second.

44:37Give me a second.

44:38Okay.

44:39One, two, eight.

44:41On.

44:42Seabiscuit.

44:43Number six.

44:44Number six.

44:45Yes.

44:46Six.

44:47Six.

44:48I want to put down 140.

44:51Hey there, Delilah.

44:52I want to put 140 on Hey there, Delilah, number seven.

44:55I almost gave you his fucking truck.

44:58Yes, I almost died just then.

45:00Well, then I guess I'm going with Blue Ivy and I'm-

45:03Does anyone want to go halfy on three?

45:06I do love three.

45:07What's three's name?

45:07I think that's Milk and Creamy.

45:09Since I picked last, I'll go next.

45:11I'll put $100 on, oh my God, I'm nervous.

45:15Okay, I'll put $100 on Tiffany.

45:18I say-

45:19Wait, wait, wait.

45:20Okay, yeah.

45:22I'd like to put 80 down and I'm renaming my horse

45:25the White Wonder.

45:26Downtown Brown and the White Wonder.

45:2780, you did 80.

45:28Hold on.

45:30Bless.

45:31Child.

45:31Can I go next?

45:32God save the queen.

45:33No, I want to go next.

45:34Then I will.

45:35How about you guys duel?

45:36I want to see who loses and dies.

45:38Armed it.

45:39Oh, wow.

45:40Incredible.

45:41And I would like to my little peanut butter.

45:43Can I put down money?

45:45Yes.

45:46Oh, great.

45:47Milk.

45:48I'm left with a lemon.

45:49Perfect.

45:50You can go for the two.

45:52Nothing's wrong with the lemon.

45:54Do I look like a rodent when I do it like this?

45:56Yes.

45:57I'll do 24.

45:58What was number two?

45:59You name it, let's restart.

46:01Number two is Twinkle Star.

46:04Twinkle Star.

46:05Gentlemen, I have a proposition.

46:07Okay.

46:08What about we do a little gentlemanly pot builder

46:10and everybody puts in an extra hundred?

46:12I'm down for that.

46:13Sounds wonderful.

46:14Fine.

46:15It's to us, right?

46:16Listen to this.

46:17Number four, I renamed Senator.

46:20The Senator.

46:21What was it before?

46:22Oh, if it's 11, you put a hundred in the pot.

46:26Good God.

46:27Gentlemen, I'm...

46:27This is so intense.

46:29I know, this is very intense.

46:31This is scary.

46:34Uh-oh.

46:35What a delightful little noise.

46:36Uh-oh.

46:37I like the little jockeys that sit on top of the horse.

46:39They're so small.

46:40They're so tiny.

46:41They have no muscles in their butt

46:42because they have to...

46:44And we're off!

46:45We're back.

46:46Three!

46:47It's me.

46:48That's not for yourself.

46:50Well done, man.

46:51Hey, were you cheating?

46:52What's number three's name?

46:53Seabiscuit, come Seabiscuit.

46:55Huh?

46:56Nine.

46:57That's me.

46:58Oh my God.

46:59Very good.

47:00Uh-oh.

47:00William is off his...

47:01Dealers luck.

47:02Oh.

47:03We know he's worth a hundred.

47:04Nine?

47:05No, that's...

47:06That's...

47:07Nine again.

47:08Oh my God.

47:08Nine again.

47:09Moving forward.

47:10This is bad.

47:11This is bad.

47:12What kind of voodoo did you put on this?

47:13Huh?

47:14Uh...

47:14Voodoo?

47:16Ten!

47:17Oh, that's Mommy!

47:20Downtown...

47:21Poor Mommy!

47:22Mommy is into the ring.

47:23This is hard.

47:24Let's have another Mommy.

47:25Ring?

47:26One more Mommy, please.

47:27Number three.

47:28That's not mine.

47:29Hey!

47:29That's yours again.

47:30Eight lines.

47:31Oh, yours is closer to the finish line.

47:33That's a seven!

47:34Yes!

47:35Me!

47:36Delilah!

47:37Hey there!

47:37Get there!

47:38Get there, Delilah.

47:39Get there, Delilah!

47:43It's a ten, it's Mommy!

47:44A Mommy!

47:45I seem to be the only one

47:47who doesn't have a horse in the game.

47:48You're not doing either.

47:48I don't have a horse in the game.

47:49Six!

47:51A seabiscuit!

47:52Seabiscuit!

47:52Ah, no.

47:53Still not you.

47:54A seabiscuit.

47:55A seabiscuit.

47:56Thank you for giving me a seabiscuit.

47:57Well, you've chosen one of the hardest ones to roll.

47:59Yeah.

48:00Two!

48:01That's me!

48:02Twinkle!

48:03Halalala!

48:03Twinkle.

48:04That is her!

48:05Twinkle.

48:06All right.

48:07Twinkle is your star.

48:08Come on, honey.

48:09Here we go.

48:09Nine!

48:10Not me, but you!

48:12Lou Ivy.

48:13You Ivy.

48:14Lou Ivy.

48:15The Duchess is going to be unhappy with me.

48:17Oh, God.

48:18Yes.

48:19Seven!

48:20Yes, that's me!

48:21Get there, Delilah!

48:24Okay, Seabiscuit and Senator, wake up!

48:28Six!

48:29Seabiscuit again!

48:30Go on, Seabiscuit, you answered!

48:31Look at you!

48:32Oh, wow, look at you so calm.

48:33All right.

48:37Seabiscuit wants more!

48:39Go on, Seabiscuit!

48:40Go, Seabiscuit!

48:41Oh, it's Seabiscuit and...

48:46Eleven!

48:47You owe a hundred dollars!

48:48Oh, no!

48:50The pot is getting...

48:54Let's go!

48:55I love it!

48:56I'd like to cut it off.

48:58Sorry, did you put a 50 down?

48:59Oh, huh?

49:01No.

49:02We'll need 50 more, please.

49:03No, that's fine.

49:04You're trying to cheat us.

49:05Wait, give me back my 50.

49:06Who is this?

49:07That is...

49:08Taff?

49:09Thomas Anderson.

49:10I believe that's Ulysses S. Gordon.

49:12And licorice pizza.

49:13I believe it's Ulysses.

49:14All right, here we go, a hundred.

49:16Punch love drunk, drunk punch drunk.

49:19Drunk punch love.

49:19All right, rolling once more.

49:22And I owe a hundred dollars.

49:24Very good.

49:25Very good, man.

49:26Very good.

49:28That's number eight.

49:30Downtown Brown.

49:31Downtown Brown.

49:32Great.

49:33Incredible.

49:33I guess he's going.

49:34I'd love to see it.

49:35Downtown.

49:36I'm quite nervous.

49:37Downtown Brown is in the race.

49:39Come on, Seabiscuit and Senator.

49:42Oh, five.

49:44That's me.

49:44Peanut butter.

49:45It's peanut butter.

49:46Peanut butter.

49:47Peanut butter.

49:48That's mine.

49:49Peanut butter.

49:50Oh my God.

49:51Come on.

49:52Dammit.

49:53Dammit.

49:54Blue Ivy.

49:55Oh my God.

49:55I'm scared.

49:56Blue Ivy.

49:57He's going to win the race.

49:58It's looking rather good for Blue Ivy.

50:00That's number nine again.

50:01Jeez.

50:02Blue Ivy is one away.

50:03Blue Ivy is about to win.

50:04This isn't fair, man.

50:07Eleven.

50:09Blue Ivy, you can do this.

50:11Money, please.

50:13My God.

50:13Blue Ivy has won.

50:16Good show, Blue Ivy.

50:18That's how we bread you.

50:20Good show.

50:21Good show.

50:22You stupid bitch.

50:23You stupid, stupid bitch.

50:25Okay, Seabiscuit's never going to win

50:26with that kind of talk.

50:27I've never trusted you.

50:29From the day you spit on my foot.

50:30I'll call the farmer.

50:31We're going to have about 12 horse corpses

50:33ready for them tonight.

50:34Let's do it.

50:36Wow.

50:37Wow.

50:37Day at the Derby.

50:38What a day at the Derby.

50:39Well, thank you for coming to the Derby.

50:43Downtown Brown.

50:43Oh, stupid.

50:44Oh, what?

50:45I deserve.

50:48I want to try.

50:49Well, okay.

50:51Thank you for watching Gentlemen's Derby Days.

50:54Let us know what horse you loved

50:56and what horses we should race next.

50:59Gentlemen, a fine show.

51:01Shall we count our cash?

51:03I say, I don't believe I'd like to.

51:05Unfortunately, Downtown Brown let me down.

51:10The money, the money slot.

51:11What's that from?

51:12I don't know.

51:13That's the first time I've ever done it.

51:14I'm just, I guess I'm just built to have-

51:17Oh.

51:17Racks on racks on racks.

51:19Hello, my lady.

51:21Hello, my darling.

51:22Do we need to count?

51:23Is that part of it?

51:24No, it's not part of it.

51:25I think it's over.

51:269.30 is not the time.

51:28It's how much money I have.

51:30Ha ha.

51:31I love doing the outro,

51:32then counting the points too.

51:33Then counting all the money.

51:34Let's stay on this for a long time.

51:36This is like the after.

51:37We can count.

51:39I guess I count first.

51:41I just split the money.

51:41Maybe I'll get that boat to the Amazon.

51:43895.

51:45You lost.

51:46What?

51:47I did a lot better than I thought.

51:49Well, I have 930.

51:50I dumped a lot of money in one of those spots.

51:52What is in a cigarette?

51:54It looks like it's crusted with ash.

51:56You're crusted with ash.

51:57Tobacco.

51:58I have $949.

52:00From the new world.

52:01So you won by five.

52:03Perhaps.

52:04Let's see if other ones.

52:05I don't like them.

52:06I mean, chances.

52:07I'm sorry, William just got a billion dollars.

52:10Yeah, something's telling me that William's going to win.

52:12I feel like visually,

52:14we can count on William here.

52:16Dylan, do you want to tell us how much money you got?

52:18I'll tell you what.

52:19How are you doing?

52:20Yes.

52:21I got about 11.

52:22About?

52:23About.

52:24Once the fives hit, I was like, what?

52:26Did you say 1,100?

52:28That can't be right.

52:28I don't believe you for a second.

52:29That can't be right.

52:30Look how thin that pile is.

52:31I say, I think William might need some fans.

52:34Two.

52:35Uh-uh.

52:36Three.

52:37No.

52:38Four.

52:39No.

52:39Five.

52:40Six.

52:41Seven.

52:42Okay.

52:43Eight.

52:44Okay.

52:45And all you have is 20s left.

52:46And fives.

52:47Okay.

52:48So you said that was 1100.

52:49That's not 1100.

52:49That's simply not 1100.

52:51No.

52:52That's what we call it.

52:53No.

52:54That's a little over 800, I believe.

52:55How many do you have, William?

52:562,400.

52:57I have 900.

52:58You have 24?

52:5924, yeah.

53:01All right, well, William,

53:02you've really taken the bank here today.

53:04I guess William won.

53:05And Dylan, you really didn't win.

53:07I didn't.

53:08I just, worse.

53:09I was stupid.

53:13Worse.

53:13I was stupid.

53:1528.

53:17My tax man is counting my shit.

53:19Wow.

53:20Well, William Shatner won,

53:21and I'm glad you guys stayed to figure that out.

53:23William Shatner always wins.

53:251,000 and five.

53:26Price is the losses.

53:28Oh.

53:29Sounds a little close to 1100 to me.

53:31Good game.

53:33Goodbye, mate.

53:34Goodbye.

53:34Goodbye, go.

53:35Get out.

53:36Go.

53:37Get out of here.

53:38What are you still doing?

53:39We're gonna have some bobbin.

53:39Where's the bobbin?

53:42Get another bobbin now.

53:43Thanks again to War Robots Frontiers

53:45for sponsoring this video.

53:46Remember to click the link in the description below

53:48to download War Robots Frontiers,

53:50get free rewards, and start playing today.

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