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00:00Hi guys, it's Benji, and as you can tell by the title, this isn't a normal video.
00:06This is going to be a very deep video that I'm going to be doing because I think it's
00:11finally time to do this.
00:14I don't know.
00:15Oh my god, I don't know how to do this.
00:18Fuck, should I do it or no?
00:22Okay.
00:23Okay, we're going to start from the beginning to the end, and hopefully nobody could judge
00:31me for how I say things or why I do things or why this and that.
00:35I'm just doing this video because I feel like it's finally time to take out the knot that
00:40I have in my throat that I've been having for so many years, basically since I was a
00:45baby.
00:46Well, not since I was a baby because I wasn't conscious when I was a baby, but since I was
00:50a kid because, yeah, it's something that's made me depressed.
00:56Even though I'm not depressed, even though I don't look depressed and sometimes I look
01:01like I'm having fun, deep inside of me, I know I'm not having fun.
01:05I mean, I am having fun when I'm out with my friends or doing certain things, I'm having
01:10fun, but deep inside of me, these thoughts are inside my head, and that makes me very
01:14sad.
01:15Yeah.
01:16Okay, so let's start from the beginning.
01:20So ever since I was a young little child, I always knew I was a little different.
01:27I always knew I was a little different because I would act a certain way, I would have certain
01:34mannerisms, I would laugh a certain way, I would hang out with only girls, I would do
01:40this, that, and yeah, I would get judged so much.
01:45I would get judged so much, so I knew how to keep it a secret.
01:50You know, I knew not to ever say anything because if not, things were going to go bad.
01:56Even though I would act different, I never made it clear.
02:01You know what I mean?
02:03People have always had that doubt about me, that small little doubt.
02:09You know how there's guys that act girly-ish, but they're not that way?
02:14Well, I'm not that person.
02:18Clearly it's because...
02:19How do I say this?
02:22I don't know how to say it.
02:23Soy joto.
02:24I'm just kidding.
02:25Yeah, I'm gay, guys.
02:26Wow, what a surprise!
02:27People are going to be like, what the fuck?
02:30We knew this.
02:31That's why I didn't want to make the video either because I know people are going to
02:33be like, oh, we knew this, we were just waiting for you.
02:37Even though that's good for people to say that, I don't feel like it's a compliment.
02:41I feel invalidated.
02:43I remember one time there was a video of someone that said I had a keen mouth, even though
02:47I didn't.
02:49They were like, oh, everybody in the comments was like, oh, we knew, oh, this and that.
02:56I don't know.
02:57I don't know how to feel.
02:58I was like, fuck it.
02:59This is how it's going to be when I tell them for real.
03:01I know you guys are not going to be surprised because obviously I only hang out with girls
03:05most of the time.
03:06I've never mentioned having a girlfriend or like sometimes I do sassy movements, like
03:12shake my butt or things like that, but I just do that to make you guys laugh sometimes.
03:18But yeah, let's start from the beginning.
03:20Okay.
03:21When I was a young little child, I remember one time, um.
03:29Stop.
03:31Stop.
03:32Oh my God, this is so cringy.
03:34Why am I?
03:35Oh my God.
03:37I'm not crying, guys.
03:38It's just I'm nervous.
03:42This is so embarrassing, like crying in front of the camera.
03:49Cut that out, editor.
03:51I'm just kidding.
03:54Should I pause it and then come back?
03:57I don't know why I laughed.
03:59Okay.
04:06Oh my God, this is so cringy.
04:11Okay.
04:14So.
04:21Wait a little bit, please.
04:26Oh my God, this is so scary.
04:28Why am I crying like this?
04:29Okay.
04:30So I remember one time when I was watching TV.
04:34Back in the day when I was a young little child, um.
04:38Like, you know how like your parents watch novelas and that?
04:42Like, I remember I was a young kid and I didn't know better.
04:45So, um, I didn't know I was supposed to not say that according to what the Hispanic community tells you.
04:52Not even the Hispanic community, like people that don't believe someone should like guys because they're a guy.
04:59Like, I remember my mom would watch novelas and I was like, oh, that guy is cute.
05:04Oh, that guy is cute.
05:05And I would get in trouble by like my tíos or my cousins and my parents.
05:11And my mom would tell my dad to like tell me not to say that.
05:15And ever since then I knew like to try to keep it a secret.
05:20Like, obviously there was always things I would do that would make people insinuate that I was.
05:28Like, when I would go to work with my parents and I would walk a certain way or I wouldn't like look like any other guy working in the fields.
05:38I was very delicate with my movements.
05:41And women would come up to my mom and be like, tu hijo es, tu hijo es.
05:47Tu hijo es.
05:48And then my mom would come up to me and she would be like, ¿Por qué actúas así?
05:53Mis amigas o los trabajadores vienen aquí y me preguntan, ¿Es tu culpa de que la gente diga eso?
06:00Like, please don't judge my parents for this.
06:02Like, that's how many Hispanic parents are.
06:04But I feel like I just have to say this.
06:06I feel like I'm throwing them under the bus by saying this, but like they're not bad people.
06:11It's just, that's how parents are.
06:15That would make me feel so guilty for being like that.
06:18And I remember like I would slap myself in the mirror and be like, you need to be normal.
06:25You need to be like, oh no.
06:29This is so embarrassing.
06:31Okay.
06:32I don't even know what I'm telling you guys.
06:34Maybe I should just keep it a secret.
06:36I would slap myself and then I would pray to God all the time and ask him to make me normal.
06:44And like, to like girls.
06:47I even told myself like, I'm going to marry a girl.
06:49Like, I literally thought about that.
06:51Up until I was like 17, I was like, I'm going to marry a girl.
06:55Like, I didn't even care if I was lying to her, but I was like, I'm going to marry a girl.
07:02But eventually I came up to my senses and I was like, no, that's not okay to do to someone.
07:06Like, that's bad.
07:08And yeah, but my parents have always had this mentality that it's not okay for someone to be this way.
07:15Like, they're okay with other people being like that, but not their kids.
07:19And the reasoning for that is because they're like, oh, people that are like that are going to suffer.
07:26They're going to be judged by society.
07:28They're never going to have a normal life.
07:30They could end up killed.
07:33That's the reasoning to why my parents have said they would not like to have a child that's gay.
07:41Or has the preferentialism of the same gender.
07:43And that has always made me scared to tell them.
07:46Like, I know I act on social media and people know.
07:49Like, everybody on social media knows.
07:51They just don't, they don't always mention it because I've never made it my personality.
07:58I've never made it my personality.
08:00I've never been here.
08:01I've been like, oh my god, I'm gay, this and that.
08:03No.
08:04Like, I've done things that make people think I am, but I've never said it.
08:09I've never made it clear.
08:10I like making people doubt me.
08:12Just kidding.
08:14But I've never made it 100% clear.
08:18I feel like I keep on saying that.
08:19Never made it 100% clear.
08:20You guys get it.
08:22Well, no.
08:23I've never told nobody, oh yeah, I am.
08:25Only, like, the closest people to me.
08:28And, yeah, the reason why I've never, I haven't made it official is because of, like, my family.
08:36And it's okay.
08:37It's okay for me to say that because a lot of people could relate to it.
08:42A lot of people, the reason why they don't say it is because of their family.
08:46And I feel like I have to say it here on camera because it's the only way I will be able to say it.
08:50I won't be able to confront my parents.
08:53So, whenever this video comes out, I'm just going to post it and not get inside my social media for a few days.
09:02I don't know, maybe right away.
09:03Maybe just to see what people are saying.
09:05But, yeah, that's why I've been sleeping here with my friends.
09:10And I've been staying over with Wendy, Evelyn, and them in Los Angeles for, like, a week.
09:18Because I was, like, I've been thinking of making this video.
09:21And I just don't want to, like, confront my family about it, you know.
09:39I just don't want to confront my family about it because that's always been, like, one of their biggest fears.
09:46Like, one of their...
09:53One of their kids being gay has always been their biggest fear because they don't see it as something normal.
10:01They think that it's a choice to be like that.
10:05But if it was a choice, like, if it was a choice, wouldn't people that like girls or guys choose to like the opposite gender?
10:17Like, just because they want to, just for fun?
10:19Like, it's like telling my dad, oh, go fall in love with another guy.
10:23But, I mean, family will always think that.
10:26And my parents are not bad people.
10:28It's just that's one of their only bad things that they have is they wouldn't...
10:33My parents know how I act, but they think I just do it as a joke.
10:36You guys are going to be like, oh, well, there's so many signs.
10:39Why don't they know or how don't they know?
10:43It's because I've never made it...
10:45I told them I just do it as a joke.
10:47Like, but I know deep inside they know.
10:51Because I never had a girlfriend.
10:53I never told them about a girl.
10:56Sometimes when I go out with my friends, my mom throws some, like, indirects that she knows.
11:06Because she tells me, oh, you probably go out to meet a guy, even though that's not true.
11:12Like, I've never met with a guy.
11:14Or I have two gay friends and she told me that I was probably having, like, sex with them or something.
11:19Because they're gay and that's why I sleep here.
11:22But that's not true.
11:23Like, I'm just here with them because they're my friends and they're nice people.
11:27But that's what my parents think.
11:30They think I'm not, but they think I am.
11:33Like, it's half and half.
11:34They're not 100% sure.
11:36I never even told my siblings because I'm scared they will snitch and tell my parents.
11:40And my little brother, he's like a little kid.
11:43Like, I don't think he would care.
11:44But sometimes he says kids bully him at school.
11:48And I take it as a joke.
11:49But he said that kids at school bully him because of the way I act on TikTok.
11:54Because I act gay or something.
11:57But, I mean, that's not his fault.
12:01It is my fault sometimes.
12:02Like, I feel guilty for putting him through that sometimes.
12:06But, I mean, I don't think there's, like, a way to not be.
12:11Like, I remember one time I was driving.
12:16But I feel like I'm not.
12:18Okay.
12:20I remember one time I was driving.
12:22And then I was like, what if I just, like, turn the full wheel and kill myself.
12:28Because I was just thinking, I don't want to be like this.
12:31I don't.
12:32I want to be normal.
12:34I want to marry a woman.
12:37But my mind tells me I don't like women.
12:40I don't know why.
12:41I mean, I do know why.
12:42Because some of us are different.
12:44But in that time, I was like, I don't know why.
12:46Like, why not?
12:49And, yeah, back when I was a senior, I came to my senses.
12:54I remember watching someone's video.
12:58Two guys, like, marrying each other.
13:00And I forgot their app.
13:02But they look like they love each other so much.
13:04And I was like, maybe I could live like this.
13:07And it doesn't matter if it's a girl.
13:10Like, they just look so genuinely happy.
13:12And I was like, I want to be happy like them.
13:14But up until this day, I've never dated someone.
13:16Because I'm scared to, like, that my parents would find out.
13:20Like, I'm just scared.
13:21That's why I've been single.
13:22That's why I'm a virgin.
13:24I make a joke out of it.
13:25But that's why I'm a virgin.
13:26Because I've never told nobody.
13:29Only my girlfriends from high school and my closest friends.
13:36I've told Wendy, Evelyn, and them.
13:38They already know.
13:39That's why they have so much trust in me.
13:41Because they know.
13:43They know I wouldn't have a romantic interest in them.
13:46They know I'm just genuinely friends with them.
13:49Just because I want to be their friend.
13:51So, yeah, that's why I hang out with them a lot.
13:54Because they don't care.
13:55And they always tell me, like, whenever you're ready.
14:00I told them about this video.
14:03And they were like, yeah, just post it whenever you're ready.
14:06Film it and just do it.
14:08Because that will make you happy.
14:10Or they tell me, like, if you feel like that, maybe you should probably move out.
14:15And I have been thinking of moving out.
14:18Because I don't know.
14:19I don't know how my family will take this when it comes out.
14:22But, yeah.
14:25Also, I wouldn't want to just put the full blame on my family.
14:29Being the reason why I haven't told anybody.
14:32Another reason has been social media.
14:36And I know I shouldn't care.
14:38But a lot of the times when I do certain things, I see all these haters come at me for acting a certain way.
14:49And I just feel like I'm better.
14:53The reason why I haven't done it is because I feel like I'm better not saying anything.
14:59I'm avoiding all these hating comments and just saying anything.
15:03It doesn't even matter if people know.
15:05As long as I know personally and the people closest to me know.
15:09It's okay.
15:10Social media doesn't have to know why I'm going to throw all this hate towards me for no reason.
15:15If I'm happy like that right now.
15:17But I'm not happy.
15:19My family has to know.
15:22Social media doesn't have to know.
15:24But this is the only way of me being able to take out everything that I have inside of me.
15:30And, yeah.
15:33I feel like I have to make this video.
15:35I've been wanting to do it for a few months.
15:38But I haven't done it.
15:40But I'm filming it right now.
15:43As I was saying, I don't want to put all the blame on my parents.
15:46Because me myself have detained myself from saying it.
15:52Just because I'm also scared of what people are going to say to me.
15:57How my family is going to take it.
16:00I don't really care how the family besides my parents take it.
16:04Because we're not even close to them like that.
16:06Oops, sorry. There's a meow meow here.
16:09Come over here.
16:10Meow meow.
16:13Ah, fuck.
16:18Oh, meow meow. I'm leaving the closet. Wait.
16:23Oh, no. Meow meow. Go.
16:31I left the closet.
16:33It's my truth.
16:35I'm just kidding.
16:39Yeah, as I was saying, guys.
16:41It's me myself who have also stopped myself from telling people.
16:47Also because of my religion.
16:50I've been told so many times, countlessly.
16:53By my parents, by other people.
16:56That whoever doesn't marry a woman will go to hell.
17:02And I'm scared of hell. I don't want to burn to death.
17:04So that's been something that's always been stuck in my brain.
17:08What if it's true? What if I'm actually not able to go with God?
17:13I've seen a few comments of people that make jokes.
17:16They're like, oh, you don't even have to worry about going to church.
17:19Because you're not even going to go to heaven.
17:22And I'm like, what do they mean?
17:24But I understand what they mean now.
17:26I understand what they mean.
17:30I can't really blame anybody else but myself for not letting it known.
17:35For not making it known.
17:37Because I might have internalized hatred towards myself.
17:43I know that's bad.
17:45But sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and I'm like, oh my God.
17:48You're so not normal. You're so unique.
17:52Why can't you just be a normal guy?
17:57When I walk, I'm like, why can't I walk normal?
18:00I don't do it on purpose.
18:02My voice is how it is.
18:04My voice is like this.
18:05It's not even manly.
18:07Not because I force it.
18:09I see people that say that I force it.
18:11But it's because that's how my voice is.
18:13And it's so scary to tell people.
18:16Because I don't know how they're going to take it.
18:19There's been instances in which I want to...
18:22I see some pills and I'm like, what if I just take them?
18:25So I could leave de una vez.
18:28I'm not kidding.
18:29I was going to say I'm just kidding.
18:30But I'm not kidding.
18:32There's been instances where I've thought about that.
18:34But I'm like, no, I'm not going to do it.
18:37Because I want to see what the future has for me.
18:41And you guys came into my life.
18:43I'm so glad I didn't go that route.
18:47Because I did have those thoughts.
18:50But I'm glad I didn't.
18:51Because I was able to open myself to a brand new world in social media.
18:56You guys have truly changed my life.
18:58And made me happy.
19:01And made me comfortable and confident in my own ways.
19:05I feel comfortable being myself online.
19:08Even though I haven't made it clear.
19:11You guys make me so happy.
19:13And I like that you guys don't judge me.
19:15And you guys just like me.
19:17Just like seeing me be me.
19:19And whenever people talk shit about me.
19:23You guys defend me all the time.
19:26You guys never judge me.
19:28You guys like me and my family.
19:30And I truly appreciate you guys for being here for me.
19:34And not caring how I act.
19:37Even though sometimes I get questioned.
19:39You guys don't really care.
19:40You guys don't make it a big deal.
19:43You guys don't make it a big deal.
19:44You guys are just like so nice.
19:47And that's why I love you guys so much.
19:53I hate that I haven't been consistent on social media.
19:56But it's because I think I fell into depression.
20:02I'm not depressed like that.
20:05You know how there's people that are depressed and stay stuck at home.
20:08I'm the type of depressed guy that just goes out and has fun to forget about stuff.
20:14That's one of the reasons why I drink sometimes.
20:17Because I just want to feel happy and not care about nothing.
20:21But I know that's bad.
20:24I don't know why I'm giving you guys such a big explanation.
20:28But this is how I feel right now.
20:30This is what I feel.
20:33And there's so many more stuff I want to say.
20:35But I can't think of them.
20:37Because the fact that I'm letting you guys know this makes me so...
20:42I feel so confused telling you guys all of this.
20:44Because it's just been in my head.
20:46But I never thought I would ever make it.
20:52What?
20:58You know what? Let me just go back in the closet.
21:03Nobody wants me to come out.
21:05Maybe it's not meant to.
21:07Let me just stay here.
21:10This video is never coming out.
21:14Just kidding.
21:17I don't know why all of a sudden there's so much noise.
21:20But earlier there wasn't any noise.
21:25But what I was saying was...
21:28That you guys make me feel so comfortable.
21:30And I love you guys for that.
21:33And I'm not scared of losing supporters.
21:35Because if you support me in the beginning.
21:38Knowing how I acted.
21:39I think you would still support me to the end.
21:42I'm just scared of the judgment.
21:46I'm scared of that. I don't know.
21:49Honestly.
21:51I feel guilty even coming here on camera to tell you guys this.
21:56Because it just doesn't feel like me.
21:58It's just like I've always known I am.
22:00But never said it here.
22:03I don't know. I just feel so weird.
22:07But I don't know when this video is going to come out.
22:10Or if it's ever going to come out.
22:12But if it does.
22:15Just know I'm not going to be home.
22:17Because I'm just scared.
22:18I don't know.
22:19My parents are not going to kill me.
22:21They're not the type of person to come on here.
22:24And want to smack you or hit you.
22:26I don't think so. Maybe.
22:27You never know. I'm just kidding.
22:28I don't think there's a type of person that would do that.
22:30But I feel like they just wouldn't know how to handle it.
22:33And my mom would be so sad and start crying.
22:37And my dad.
22:38One time he did tell me he didn't care.
22:41But sometimes he does tell me to stop acting the way I act.
22:45So I don't even know.
22:46He's like half and half.
22:47They're both half and half.
22:48Sometimes they care. Sometimes they don't.
22:50I remember when I was 7 years old.
22:52On my 7th birthday.
22:53My mom came to me.
22:54She bought me.
22:56She didn't even have money.
22:58To buy me this one little zoupe.
23:00Or it was like a little fake hamster.
23:03And she bought it for me.
23:04But it was so expensive.
23:05And some converse.
23:06I still remember exactly.
23:09She came to me.
23:10She gave me the gifts.
23:11And after I opened them.
23:14She sat down.
23:15She was like.
23:17Are you gay?
23:19Why is that funny?
23:21Isn't it supposed to be sentimental?
23:23Should I be crying right now?
23:24She was like.
23:25Are you gay?
23:26And I was like.
23:27No.
23:29And that was one of the first times she ever asked me.
23:32And I just.
23:35Zipped it.
23:36Locked it.
23:37Put it in my pocket.
23:38I never told her.
23:40And.
23:41Yeah.
23:42In high school.
23:43The only person I ever 100% told.
23:47Was my best friend.
23:49It was Wendy.
23:50And the other one was Joyce.
23:52And.
23:53They honestly.
23:55Were dumb.
23:56They were dumb as fuck.
23:57They were like.
23:58What?
23:59We didn't know.
24:00One of them thought I was in love with her.
24:03One of them thought I was in love with her.
24:05But not in a bad way.
24:06She just thought.
24:07Oh there was a point where I thought you loved me.
24:08But it's because.
24:09I get so attached to my friends for some reason.
24:12And that's something that gets my mom mad.
24:14Like she's like.
24:15Why are you so attached to your friends.
24:17But not to your own family.
24:19The reason why.
24:20Like.
24:21Get more attached to my friends.
24:22I love my family more obviously.
24:24But.
24:25The reason why I get more attached sentimentally.
24:27With my friends is because.
24:29They just don't care.
24:30Like I could be myself.
24:32And they won't care.
24:33I could tell them so many stuff.
24:34And they won't care.
24:35But if I tell something to my family.
24:37They're gonna.
24:38Like obviously judge me.
24:39And try to correct me.
24:40So that's one of the reasons.
24:42Why sometimes people come on social media.
24:44And they're like.
24:45Why are you always with your friends.
24:46But not with your family.
24:48I'm always with my family.
24:49But sometimes when I live with my friends.
24:51I live for days.
24:52And I don't respond to my parents phones.
24:54Because I'm just scared of them.
24:56Screaming at me.
24:57And yelling at me.
24:58Because I'm out.
24:59But the reason why they yell at me.
25:01And everything.
25:02Is because they're just very over protective.
25:04And they just don't know.
25:05That I'm an adult already.
25:07And I'm able to make my own choices.
25:08I obviously would not leave them.
25:10If they help me come up.
25:12One of the reasons why.
25:14I even started blowing up on social media.
25:16Was because of my parents.
25:17I owe them that loyalty.
25:19They've never asked me for anything.
25:21Never.
25:22I've never been asked for nothing from them.
25:24Rather than just.
25:26To pay my bills.
25:28I pay like two bills.
25:29And that's it.
25:30Because obviously I'm old enough.
25:31To pay certain bills.
25:33So I just pay like.
25:34Like $200 every month.
25:36For my bills.
25:37And yeah.
25:38That's it.
25:40But they still don't let me.
25:42Do stuff without screaming at me.
25:44I do whatever I want.
25:46But.
25:47They still yell at me.
25:49They don't keep me stuck in there with them.
25:51But when I leave without telling them.
25:53Or without their permission.
25:55They get very mad.
25:57So yeah.
25:59I feel like I owe them.
26:01Like that loyalty you know.
26:03Because they've helped me come up.
26:05And I want to buy a house for all of us.
26:07Because.
26:09But sometimes I feel like I do need my space.
26:11And.
26:13That's why I leave.
26:15I leave and I just have fun.
26:17Because I could be myself when I'm out.
26:19But when I'm at home.
26:21I could be myself too.
26:22But not my myself.
26:24I cannot be 100% myself.
26:26Because then they're going to be like.
26:27What the fuck.
26:28Why you being like that?
26:30But yeah.
26:31That's.
26:33That's that.
26:34What else I was going to speak about?
26:35Well back when I was in school.
26:37Um.
26:39I remember I was like in.
26:41Third grade.
26:42That's when kids started actually judging me.
26:45They were like why don't.
26:46Why are you acting weird?
26:47I remember getting.
26:49Thrown in the floor and kicked.
26:51For.
26:52Like having bunny teeth.
26:53And acting zesty.
26:55And that was like my.
26:57One of my other wake up moments.
26:59I was like fuck.
27:01I'm really different.
27:02I really am not.
27:03This normal guy.
27:05That anybody would.
27:07A normal boy.
27:08I'm really not a normal boy.
27:09I'm abnormal.
27:11I'm just kidding.
27:12But I.
27:14That's when I knew I was not normal.
27:16And every time I would play in the playground.
27:18They would not let me play soccer with them.
27:20Well one of the reasons.
27:22That I wasn't allowed to play soccer.
27:24Was because I sucked.
27:25So I'm not going to blame it on me being hoto.
27:27No.
27:28It was not because I was hoto.
27:30Well a little bit.
27:31Um.
27:32But it was also because I sucked in soccer.
27:34So that's why they wouldn't let me in the team.
27:36They would just have me as a goalie.
27:37And that shit.
27:39Was easy as fuck.
27:40Like it wasn't really that hard.
27:42Well back when I was a kid it wasn't hard.
27:44It is hard for professionals you know.
27:46Sorry if you're a goalie.
27:48Um.
27:49But yeah and I remember.
27:51A group of girls coming up to me and telling me.
27:53Oh um.
27:54You could play with us.
27:56And ever since then.
27:58I've only had.
28:00I.
28:01Most of my friends have only been girls.
28:03Because I feel like girls understand you most.
28:05When.
28:07You're in your.
28:09When you're a guy.
28:11That's gay.
28:13A girl will understand you the most.
28:15Um.
28:16And they didn't even know.
28:18They just.
28:19Knew I was treated differently.
28:21So they would allow me to play with them.
28:23I would play volleyball with them.
28:25And that's another thing my mom would always say.
28:27Why is.
28:28Why am I playing volleyball.
28:29Mom would be like why do you only play volleyball.
28:31Why don't you play soccer.
28:33With the guys.
28:34Why do you only have girlfriends.
28:36And.
28:38I would tell them that it was because.
28:40I sucked in soccer.
28:41And they didn't put me in team.
28:43Um.
28:45But those were just a few instances.
28:47In which.
28:49I told myself.
28:50I was going to hold it a secret.
28:52Another thing up until this day.
28:54Every time I go to like.
28:56Family parties or anything.
28:57There's always that one thing that comes up to you.
28:59Or the other like.
29:01Y la novia.
29:03Y la novia.
29:05O tienes novio.
29:07Like they would make those jokes.
29:09But deep down inside they know that I'm well.
29:11They know that I'm well.
29:13And.
29:15Those are things that just.
29:17That I just don't want to happen no more.
29:19I just want to be myself.
29:21I just don't want to be judged no more.
29:23I know I'm going to get judged more.
29:25But.
29:26If they know I feel like.
29:28I'll get judged less.
29:30So I just want to be able to be free.
29:32Without caring.
29:34Like I don't even want to make it my.
29:36Whole personality that I'm gay.
29:38But I just want people to know.
29:40Just so I could just stop being questioned.
29:42I'm tired of getting questioned.
29:44Every day of my life.
29:46By different people.
29:48By everybody.
29:49Every time in my comments.
29:51I literally have the word gay blocked on my.
29:53On my Tik Tok.
29:54Because.
29:55Every time I post a video.
29:57It's always.
29:58Are you gay?
29:59Are you gay?
30:00Gay ass motherfucker.
30:02Like I'm just tired of that.
30:03Like I don't care.
30:04I don't care if there's more people that I hate.
30:06But I'm just.
30:07Yeah I am.
30:08And well.
30:09Anyways guys.
30:11This is basically what the video is about.
30:13I wanted to speak about so many more stuff.
30:15But I just don't remember them.
30:17And I feel like I'm too sentimental.
30:19And I'm going to start crying.
30:21And I won't even be able to explain myself enough.
30:22To let you guys know what I want to tell you guys.
30:25But thank you so much for watching.
30:27Whenever this video comes out.
30:29I'm just going to.
30:31Close my eyes.
30:32Post it.
30:33And I'll look back.
30:35I'll probably not even be online for a few days.
30:37Because I don't know how it's going to be taken.
30:39I'm so nervous.
30:40But I love you guys.
30:42Please don't judge my parents.
30:44Because basically like.
30:46They're my parents you know.
30:48That's how Hispanic parents are like that.
30:50I don't think they're going to judge me.
30:52I don't think they're going to hate me.
30:54They're just going to be like what the fuck.
30:56But I love you guys so much.
30:58Thank you so much for watching.
31:01I'm going to still be here.
31:03I'm still going to be here.
31:05Because first of all.
31:07That's one of the reasons why.
31:09I'm filming it in my friend's house.
31:11Because my house is too small.
31:13They're going to hear me.
31:15They're going to hear me in the video.
31:17Guys I'm gay.
31:19And then they're going to come in the door and be like.
31:20They're going to be like.
31:22Are you gay?
31:24I knew it.
31:26So that's why I'm filming.
31:28That's why I'm filming it here guys.
31:30And I want to appreciate my friends.
31:32For letting me film here.
31:34And stay here for a few days.
31:36I love you guys.
31:38I love you guys so much.
31:40Bye.