Have I Got News For You US Season 2 Episode 4 (March 8, 2025) Full Episode 720HD
Categoría
🎥
CortometrajesTranscripción
00:00Grandma asks if you want to watch Baby Girl with her.
00:16No.
00:17Next question.
00:18Twitter users complain about the site being overrun by bots, and Elon responds.
00:24Who's making this stuff?
00:25Not me!
00:28RFK Jr. unveils his latest strategy to combat the measles.
00:32Heifer, you ain't got to do nothing.
00:35On Amber's team tonight, he's halfway to an EGOT, which is why he'll be taking over the
00:39role of Elphaba in Wicked Part 2.
00:42It's Alex Edelman.
00:43And joining Michael, she's a comedian who you've seen on Kimmel, Colin, and Rachel Maddow,
00:51where Rachel famously waved her over to the couch.
00:53It's Laurie Kilmarn.
00:57Now, for the biggest stories of the week, Michael and Laurie, I'm going to show you
01:03a clip.
01:04Watch the clip package and tell me what's the story.
01:08That's the host of that game show, guys.
01:11Taking a wrecking ball to the world.
01:12Wrecking ball.
01:13That's rich people.
01:14We're happy about it.
01:15Happy people.
01:16We love you and we hate you.
01:17We hate you.
01:18Is it about the town halls?
01:20Is it about people maybe showing up or not showing up?
01:22Is that what it is?
01:23Something like that?
01:25President Trump's first big speech to Congress celebrated his first 43 days in office and
01:30set the agenda for a new golden age.
01:32And of course, the Democrats were not having any of it.
01:36Oh, wait, no, no, no.
01:39That's my bad.
01:40That's Serbia.
01:41They get down in Serbian parliament.
01:43They don't get around.
01:45The New York Times called Trump's 99 minute address, quote, replete with familiar exaggerations
01:53and falsehoods.
01:54So replete with lies and lies.
01:57They could just say that.
01:58Do you all know what lie he spent two minutes on?
02:02Oh, that he's going to make America great again.
02:05It was this lie about finding fraud in Social Security.
02:11Over 130,000 people, according to the Social Security databases, are age over 160 years
02:23old.
02:24And one person is listed at 360 years of age.
02:30Is it Mitch McConnell?
02:38Here's the oldest man we could find with the answer.
02:41That is an outrageous lie intended to lay the groundwork for cuts to Social Security.
02:47You don't look a day over 159.
02:51Why else are people speculating that our social safety net isn't so safe?
02:57Because they said they're going to cut half of the workforce.
02:59Does that have anything to do with it?
03:01Last week, the Social Security Administration announced it's cutting 7000 jobs in Doge initiated
03:07restructuring.
03:08Restructure.
03:09Here's Elon Musk on Joe Rogan talking about exactly that.
03:12Social Security is the biggest Ponzi scheme of all time.
03:16Right.
03:17Explain that.
03:18It might be a Ponzi scheme because there's all this money that through our careers we
03:23pay into Social Security and none of that money is going to Elon Musk.
03:30Also in his speech, Trump touted the creation of the Department of Government Efficiency
03:33as one of his biggest accomplishments so far.
03:36But he made sure to give credit where credit was due.
03:40Go, which is headed by Elon Musk, who is in the gallery tonight.
03:48Guys, please, please, please.
03:55I'm just happy Elon didn't do the salute right there because I don't know what you're anytime
04:00you're on hand.
04:01Come above his shoulder.
04:02I'm like, oh, but he brought it up and he's like, ah, I tricked you.
04:08Why was Trump shouting out Elon as the head of Doge?
04:11Why was that such an important because he keeps saying he was not in charge of Doge.
04:15And then he says he is in charge of Doge and then he's not in charge of Doge.
04:18It's like the terrorists.
04:19They're on, they're off.
04:20They're on.
04:21They're off.
04:22It's like Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
04:23I don't know what's going on.
04:24Thank God that you're on my team.
04:25When he's just doing paintballs with Jennifer Garner, Elon Trump shouting out Elon during
04:35his speech was an important moment because the White House has repeatedly claimed for
04:38legal reasons that Elon Musk is most certainly not in charge of Doge.
04:44And just last week, Ken, the whole cost cutting operation on this Maxine Easter, nobody's
04:50ever heard of.
04:51Oh, Amy Gleason, who was on vacation in Mexico.
04:56And now they say in Elon's show last week, they said Amy was in charge.
04:59How do you get hired and fired on the same vacation?
05:03I get the feeling like Amy Gleason might not actually exist.
05:07What were the immediate results of Trump's musky and lip slip?
05:12Don't ever say it like that.
05:15Musky lip slip was my favorite Axe body spray.
05:22Trump said that Elon wasn't in charge.
05:24Then he gets on TV, says Elon is in charge.
05:27So on Thursday, President Trump appeared to set new limits on Elon's power, telling cabinet
05:33secretaries that, quote, staffing decisions will be left up to them, not Elon and his
05:39Department of Government efficiency.
05:42Trump made sure to add this.
05:44If they can cut, it's better.
05:47And if they don't cut, then Elon will do the cutting.
05:50But wasn't the premise of the question, what did Trump do to walk it back?
05:54Didn't he just double down?
05:55Isn't that isn't that isn't he saying if you don't fire, Elon's going to do it?
05:59No.
06:00Oh, what he said is that you're in charge and I need you to fire him.
06:04But if you don't, I will demote Elon down to your position.
06:10And then he will fire.
06:12And then after he's fired, I will promote Elon back up to the position out of that ninety
06:18nine minutes.
06:19What was the one line that you was like, oh, my God, the transgender mice, they're turning
06:25the mice trans.
06:27It was this statement about waste uncovered by Doge eight million dollars for making mice
06:34transgender.
06:38Is it real?
06:40I mean, I wish it was.
06:41It sounds fun.
06:42How do we know that the government doesn't have an area 51 lab where they make in the
06:45trans?
06:46How would you know if a mice was trans?
06:48How would you know if a mouse was trans?
06:50How would you know?
06:51Because they love Bud Light.
06:53We have to stop joking about this because it's not a real thing and we're normalizing
06:58it a little too much.
06:59Trans mice is not real.
07:01But the issue is that people aren't sure if Trump was referring to money used for trans
07:07genetic studies on mice, which was done for asthma and cancer, or whether he was referring
07:13to cuts in money used for a study on how gender hormones affect the microbiome of mice.
07:20How did Democrats protest Trump's lies during the speech forcefully, something we could
07:26get behind?
07:27It was so inspirational.
07:28Some walked out, some tuned out.
07:32And then there was this.
07:33The silent but stunning rebuke of Trump and his lies.
07:37But those signs made courtesy of the honorable congressman while he coyote.
07:43I liked the signs.
07:45There was also the Democrats dusting off a seven year old mean to do this.
07:51This choose your fighter video, their take on a rather old tick tock friend.
07:57Clever or cringe?
07:59Hey, the signs seem pretty good now, huh?
08:05That's real.
08:06Yeah.
08:07That happened this week.
08:08Oh, no.
08:09Let them do it.
08:10Let these people make a stupid fucking video every time they get together and are like,
08:15hey, guys, what should we do?
08:16I don't know.
08:17Something stupid.
08:18Let them fucking have it.
08:19Let them do anything.
08:20But then next week, if they're planking for Medicaid, I'll be getting what we need.
08:33One Democrat did bring some heat to the speech, though.
08:35Which Democrat brought the heat?
08:37It was a young man who stood up and went, let's wait on a stay together.
08:44Yes, it was Al Green who was ejected by Speaker Johnson for disorderly conduct.
08:49Here's what Green had to say for himself.
08:51It's worth it to let people know that there are some of us who are going to stand up against
08:56this president's desire to cut Medicaid, Medicare and Social Security.
09:01I love this guy.
09:05I'm just grateful that the Democrats held the line.
09:07None of them voted to censure him.
09:09What did I get?
09:10What happened?
09:11Actually, Michael, 10 Democrats joined the Republicans in the vote.
09:16Here's Mike Johnson dropping the hammer.
09:18The House has resolved that Representative Al Green be censured.
09:22What happens to him now?
09:24That's on his permanent record, Alex.
09:27He's not going to get into Columbia now.
09:31After the vote, Democrats sang a Negro spiritual to support their colleague.
09:35Roy, I will flip this whole fucking desk.
09:38I swear to Christ.
09:40Bonus question.
09:41Roy.
09:42Which Negro spiritual did they sing?
09:45No way.
09:46Michael.
09:47No way.
09:48No way.
09:49We shall overcome.
09:50Oh, no.
09:51We shall overcome.
09:52But then they went into bass.
10:02How low can you go?
10:05It was very surprising, but it was beautifully executed.
10:11civil rights 90 cnc music factory crossover did you just wait out of
10:18Compton technically a negro spiritual it's about struggle it's about
10:25overcoming a form of oppression and about a crazy motherfucker named ice
10:30cream every black person just turned to you right there oh I felt it I felt it
10:38black people right behind you right over your shoulder I'm very aware
10:42Democrats showed their support for Al Green by breaking it to an impromptu
10:44rendition of we shall overcome but if you're frustrated with Democrats here's
10:50Chuck Schumer with the best way to organize and protest is to organize
10:57organizing is hard but it's effective and that's what we're doing got it so
11:01the best way to organize is to organize and that's how you organize you organize
11:07and you don't have to organize cuz you're already organized actually the
11:10best way to organize is to throw away everything that doesn't spark joy
11:15amber and Alex watch the clips and tell me what is the story okay so there's
11:22shipping containers yeah oh and there's an American flag oh two men about to
11:29kiss this seems to be about the trade war the trade wars it's soon to be a
11:36movie on HBO yes the story is Tara Palooza 2025 is on but it may be on it
11:45may be off it may be on again which is made for a chaotic week in Trump's
11:48foreign policy doesn't feel like he's playing three-dimensional chess feels
11:52like he's playing this game
11:56and then scramble to get the most fun what game is that what well no matter
12:04what we think he's doing we know for sure it's definitely not a trade war
12:09some call it a trade war I call it smart this is not a trade war right this is a
12:14drug war are we definitely in a trade war yeah this is a trade I love how one
12:20person trying to defend it was like no no it's not a trade war it's another
12:24thing we weren't able to execute successfully it's a drug war it's a
12:28thing we've been losing for 50 years on Tuesday Trump initiated major new
12:34tariffs of 25% on Canada and Mexico and added 10% to existing Chinese tariffs
12:39bring in their total up to 20% why would Donald Trump add more terror when two
12:47countries love each other very much the New York Times reported that the
12:51tariffs were put in place with no clear rationale let's be fair maybe Trump has
12:58a legitimate reason let's hear from the horse's mouth tariffs are about making
13:03America rich again and making America great again and it's happening and it
13:08will happen rather quickly there'll be a little disturbance what's the problem
13:12like the statement goes you can't make an omelet without taking out a second
13:17mortgage everybody knows how did the world receive the news of Trump's
13:24tears they think we are so smart that's plummeted this week wiping out all
13:30post-election gains for the S&P 500 and here's more specifically the Canadian
13:36reaction to tariffs today the United States launched a trade war against
13:41Canada their closest partner and ally their closest friend make that make
13:47sense we have heard his feelings so much now according to the administration
13:53there's one big reason we need to protect ourselves from Canada right now
13:57does anybody know what that reason is does Justin Bieber have a brother here's
14:03White House trade advisor Peter Navarro with the answer Canada has been taken
14:08over Brett by Mexican cartels which mean whoever's in charge of that space
14:13between Mexico and Canada they are not doing a good job China reacted with a
14:22tweet from its embassy that said quote if war is what the u.s. wants be it a
14:27tariff war trade war any other type of war we're ready to fight till the end if
14:34that ain't some Tupac death row records level threat wait what that's a real
14:42tweet yes I didn't know that that's really scary you pretend this isn't real
14:47it's kind of exciting that's your remedy for the next four years it's very
14:55helpful just send it it's not actually happy it's called disassociation right
14:59okay what HR issue is Trump dealing with this week that may also throw a wrench
15:05into his place somebody not racist enough the HR issue that Trump is
15:12dealing with right now is Elon Musk and Marco Rubio are beefing according to the
15:19New York Times Trump got his crew together on Thursday and during the
15:22meeting quote Elon was letting Rubio have it
15:26accusing him of failing to slash his staff but Rubio said Musk was not being
15:31truthful so then must told Rubio he's good on TV with the clear subtext being
15:39that he's not good for much else what's crazy about that is he's not even good
15:44on TV look I don't want to get into the into the middle of this like you
15:51understand that you're on a TV show specifically to get into the middle I'm
15:56aware but these guys are very vindictive and they can be and is there a camera I
16:00can look at like hey Mr. President or just I'll call you Elon I don't I don't
16:11agree with any of the stuff being said I think you're doing a great job we can
16:15all live in space you go first we'll be right back and as we go to break we'll
16:20have Michael Ian Black lead us in the singing of the Negro spiritual we shall overcome
16:25we shall overcome
16:41welcome back
16:43it's time for lie curious
16:45I give you three biographical details about a public figure but only one is true
16:49you have to guess which is the truth and which are dirty filthy nasty lies
16:54let's get started time for three facts about former New York governor Andrew Cuomo
17:00hey don't talk that way about your next mayor
17:03our facts are he likes to call himself a quote cool dude in a loose mood he once
17:10got into a fistfight with Tim Allen he has been to over 100 Jimmy Buffett
17:16concerts what I want is for him to fight Tim Allen I think anyone who's a cool
17:22dude in a loose mood has definitely also been to over 100 Jimmy Buffett
17:27concerts I don't see him saying cool dude in a loose no he's when he sexually
17:33harasses he says he's just being Italian so I'm gonna say three is true what do
17:38you think we think Andrew Cuomo is a parrot head Andrew Cuomo regularly
17:43refers to himself as a cool dude in a loose mood yes check it out I think I'm
17:50sort of a laid-back cool dude in a loose mood just a cool dude in a loose
17:55mood I'm a cool dude in a loose mood you know that I just say let it go just go
17:59with the flow baby you know it's disqualifying that is disqualifying all
18:04on its own if it had been a different phrase or is it just the fact that he's
18:08rhyming like if he just said I'm a handsy Italian that's quite a rapscallion I
18:14could see saying it once when you're a little drunk but it's become his
18:18personal motto and that's what's offensive everyone knows that New Yorkers
18:23would never elect a man for mayor who speaks in rhymes all my haters become my
18:30waiters when I sit down at the table of success oh no that's a good one all my
18:36haters become my waiters get me some sweet tea with your broken ass I thought
18:43he's that all my haters become I raider when you can keep for yourself now cool
18:53dude in a loose mood this is not the first time anybody has said this does
18:57anyone know where Andrew Cuomo got the phrase from Chuck Schumer we cannot
19:03confirm but it is very highly possible that Cuomo got the phrase from this
19:11Cheetos presents Chester Cheetah
19:13I'm Chester Cheetah I'm just a cool dude in a loose mood
19:18Until I eat a Cheetos
19:25Nothing will ever be more satisfying than that
19:29that explains all the orange dust on the blouses of female staffers
19:35Andrew Cuomo is now leading in some polls for New York City Mayor four years
19:39after he resigned as governor amid accusations of sexual harassment does
19:44anyone remember how he defended himself he said he's like a hugger or something
19:49like that Cuomo played this slideshow to defend himself and to be clear this is a
19:55video that his team made I do it with everyone black and white young and old
20:08straight and LGBTQ powerful people friends strangers people who I meet on
20:20the street you might be next I'm coming for you bitch we actually have footage
20:30of Cuomo's team when they found a new picture of him being a little creepy
20:34we got one
20:38time for three facts about two-time Oscar winner Adrian Brody a facts are he
20:43dated Melissa Rivers his high school drama teacher told him he should go to
20:47law school he used to create hip-hop beats under the name a ranger it's got
20:52to be three has to be I've had too much of this it cannot be three I cannot are
20:58you still mad about the Timothee Chalamet rapping clip from last year
21:03so you're saying you can't you couldn't possibly deal with video of another
21:09person cringefully doing hip-hop if another person cringefully did hip-hop
21:15on this show I would have a meltdown
21:20uh-oh
21:26if you have footage Roy
21:28if you have footage
21:30Adrian Brody created hip-hop beats under the name a ranger
21:35no
21:39wild in this place
21:41my man over here
21:43he gonna wreck your face
21:45wreck your face
21:49oh my god
21:53can I just say something
21:57I think he's pretty good
22:01this has been Lycurious
22:03it's time for missing words
22:07here's your headline
22:09Pokemon shaped Cheeto
22:11sells for blank
22:13sells for three grilled cheese that have the face of Jesus in them
22:18this is going to be some sickening amount of money isn't it
22:21Alex you're always a bummer
22:23Pokemon shaped Cheeto
22:25sells for over $87,000
22:29that's how much my great-great-great-great-great-grandfather
22:32gets in social security checks
22:36a flaming hot Cheeto that kind of looks like a Charizard
22:39sold at auction for more money than most of us make in a year
22:42let's show people what an actual Charizard look like
22:46and here's the Cheeto
22:48oh shit yeah it's a Charizard
22:53that's cool
22:54do you believe in miracles now
22:56yeah
22:57$87,000 starting to feel like a bargain
23:00I mean look at that
23:02here's your headline
23:04blank are banned from nudist beaches in Germany
23:07black men
23:17it'll make them feel bad
23:21clothed troublemakers are banned from nudist beaches in Germany
23:26ah but unclothed troublemakers we love
23:30show us your tits frow line
23:34oh my god
23:37show us your tits frow line is the name of my fantasy football team
23:42can anyone tell me what US news maker made headlines this week
23:46for their own no clothes policy
23:49John Fetterman
23:52they found out that none of them are wearing clothes from the waist down
23:55just like us
23:58the answer is Luigi Mangione
24:04federal murder defendant and heir to the Peter Gallagher eyebrow fortune
24:09what was old Luigi's nude news
24:13I heard about this against my will
24:15it was not against my will
24:17it was part of my will
24:19there are videotapes of this young gentleman engaged in intercourse
24:23making love
24:24yes with John Fetterman
24:28it's a sex tape
24:30yes Luigi's nude news according to Radar Online
24:33Luigi allegedly got freaky before his arrest
24:36and filmed quote at least 20 videos of him having sex
24:42the source also said quote
24:45it wasn't just some grainy late night mistake
24:48it was perfect lighting and everything
24:51he wanted to be watched
24:54that boy set up the tripod
24:56he had the LED lights
24:58he had the nice camera
25:00but I'm glad that this generation has a hot assassin
25:03that's willing to make sex tapes
25:05and I'm grateful that Ted Kaczynski didn't
25:11you know they're going to submit them sex tapes as part of the trial
25:15you know people are going to be running to try and get on that jury
25:19can I look at the evidence
25:22it's an extremely hung jury
25:30that's Missing Words more after the break
25:35welcome back to Have I Got News for you
25:38it's time for the offender meter
25:40here's how it works
25:42teams have to tell us who's the offender
25:44what they did and who they offended
25:46let us begin
25:48who is this offender
25:50is that Pam Bondi
25:52it's definitely a republican
25:54because of her self
25:58that's attorney general Pam Bondi
26:00senior attorney general
26:03that's attorney general Pam Bondi senior
26:05watching an innocent man hang
26:10who did Pam offend
26:12she offended people who wanted to see the Epstein list
26:16right
26:17she said she was going to release them
26:20and then it turned out Donald Trump's name was all over them
26:23probably
26:24and so they aren't being released
26:27right
26:28yes Pam Bondi offended MAGA conspiracy theorists
26:31by releasing the Epstein files phase 1
26:34which mostly contained
26:36files that have been circulating in the public domain for years
26:41she just basically took the Epstein list
26:43and was like alright we put two more cuts on the album
26:47here's to Paminator teasing the release on Jesse Waters
26:51you said last week that you have the Epstein files on your desk
26:55when can we see them and what's taking so long to release them
26:58I think tomorrow Jesse
27:00breaking news right now
27:02you're going to see some Epstein information being released
27:05by my office
27:06could she be lying
27:09MAGA conspiracy theorists were also mad about the unusual way
27:12in which the Epstein list was released
27:15what was that atypical way
27:17they invited all these like influencers
27:19to like a Chili's in Washington DC
27:22you're right about the who
27:24I don't know if we can verify the location
27:26Bondi released the files in binders
27:28directly to specific online influencers
27:31which infuriated serious journalists
27:34like Hercules star Kevin Sorbo
27:36who tweeted quote
27:37our government used children
27:39who were trafficked as a publicity stunt
27:42disgusting
27:43and our favorite MAGA Muppet Laura Luma
27:46she tweeted quote
27:48I think she should resign
27:50still no word from Scott Baio
27:52we don't know how he feels about it
27:54all right let's see your offender
27:57okay it's Stephen A Smith yes
27:59yes that is Stephen A Smith
28:01bigger question
28:02who did he offend this week
28:04I don't follow sports that much
28:06so I'm pretty excited to know this
28:08because I saw it recently
28:09and he offended LeBron James
28:12points for Laurie yes
28:15our greatest football player
28:19Stephen A Smith offended LeBron James
28:21when he said this about LeBron's son
28:23back in January on ESPN's first take
28:26I am pleading with LeBron James
28:30as a father
28:32we all know that Bronny James is in the NBA
28:36because of his dad
28:37we know that he's not ready yet
28:42now you would think after Stephen A Smith said that
28:44he would just chill out
28:45but the next day on his YouTube show
28:48he went on to say more
28:51we got to be real about what we're seeing
28:54I am not a person that had a problem with
28:56Bronny James being on the court
28:59for the season opener with LeBron James
29:02my position has always been
29:05that should have been the only moment
29:07we saw Bronny James in a Lakers uniform this season
29:12because he's not ready
29:14Alex isn't ready but we let him on the show
29:18I actually did my time at the
29:21have I got news for you development league
29:24two floors down
29:26my dad is Roy Wood Sr.
29:30okay so then the question to everybody
29:32you have a sportscaster
29:34who is criticizing your son
29:36saying he ain't ready
29:37the only reason he in the league is because of you
29:39if that sportscaster just happened to be
29:41courtside at a game you're playing
29:43how would you as a father
29:45handle seeing that sportscaster in person
29:48what do you think LeBron did when he saw Stephen 8
29:50he probably said thank you for the constructive criticism
29:54here's what happened when LeBron
29:56caught up with Stephen 8
29:57at the Knicks-Lakers game on Thursday night
30:07I'm pretty sure he was saying
30:08keep my son's name out your mouth
30:13Stephen 8 went on ESPN's first take
30:16to recap the confrontation
30:18he said this
30:19that wasn't a basketball player
30:21confronting me
30:23that was a parent
30:25by all accounts
30:26he's obviously a wonderful family man
30:28and a wonderful father
30:29who cares very very deeply about his son
30:31before this LeBron was probably
30:33one of my favorite basketball players
30:35but given this confrontation
30:36he's definitely my favorite basketball player
30:39but that's not all
30:40he also went on to say this
30:42based on some of the comments that he had heard
30:44or shall I say I think he thought he heard
30:47he clearly took exception
30:49and he confronted me about it
30:52seemed like he heard exactly what you said
30:55here's how Stephen 8 Smith closed
30:57I have nothing but the best wishes for Bronny James
31:00I think what we know above all
31:02is who we need to be sending in
31:04to negotiate with Trump
31:06to calm Trump down
31:10if LeBron James can make Stephen 8 Smith chill out for a day
31:14then that's who Zelensky need to be calling
31:18that's Offender Meter
31:19we'll be right back
31:25United States of Scandal with Jay Tapper
31:27returns tomorrow at 9 on CNN
31:35welcome back
31:37it's time for Odd 1 Out teams
31:39here's how Odd 1 Out works
31:40I'm going to show everybody four pictures
31:42you have to guess which one sticks out
31:44like Mike Johnson at a screening of a Nora
31:47here's your group of four
31:48we have Charlie XCX, Paul Rudd, Tiffany Haddish
31:51and Lin-Manuel Miranda
31:53who's the Odd 1 Out?
31:54singer, singer, singer
31:56Rudd's the Odd 1 Out, right?
31:57nah, it's never that easy
31:59Tiffany Haddish is not a singer
32:00oh, I know what it is
32:01Tiffany, Paul and Lin-Manuel Miranda
32:03all dear friends
32:06no, no, no
32:07I hate that I'm the one pointing this out
32:09Lin's the only one who's not Jewish
32:11Charlie XCXCX?
32:13that's not a Jewish name
32:14XCXCX
32:17it was short for Excovitch
32:18but she shortened it
32:21the Odd 1 Out is Charlie XCX
32:24dang it
32:25all the rest used to work as
32:27bar and bat mitzvah entertainers
32:32what?
32:33bonus point
32:34bonus point
32:35does anyone know which one of those four
32:37converted to Judaism in adulthood?
32:40it's Tiffany Haddish
32:41yes, points for Alex
32:45Tiffany Haddish had a bat mitzvah at age 40
32:48it is the basis for the Girls Trip sequel
32:50Girls Trip 2
32:52black ass birthright
32:56Paul Rudd used to make ends meet
32:58as a bat mitzvah emcee
33:00and yes, there is footage
33:05whoo
33:10beautiful
33:11yeah
33:12hey
33:15question, how did Paul Rudd describe
33:17watching that footage to the New Yorker?
33:19like fingernails down a chalkboard
33:23Paul said it, quote
33:24was like watching myself in a porno
33:29we're gonna play a very quick game here, panel
33:31I'll name a musician
33:32and you tell me if that musician
33:34has ever played a bar
33:36or a bat mitzvah
33:37I'm gonna be good at this
33:40first up
33:41Nicki Minaj
33:42oh yes
33:43I remember when this happened
33:44correct, Nicki Minaj
33:45performed Anaconda
33:47at a bat mitzvah in 2015
33:50and posted
33:51one of her best Instagram photos
33:54of all time
33:55to memorialize the night
33:56this is the photo
33:57the caption read
33:58get a load of these little hunks
34:00I met last night
34:01at the bar mitzvah
34:03when you're 13
34:04in the Jewish faith
34:05you become a man
34:06and I think
34:07Anaconda is the perfect song
34:09to welcome you into manhood
34:12one more
34:13Kanye West
34:14yeah
34:16has Kanye ever performed
34:18at a bar mitzvah?
34:19here's the thing
34:20no one's an anti-Semite
34:21in their prime
34:23no one's an anti-Semite
34:24in their prime
34:26right?
34:27yeah, Kanye back in his prime
34:28he performed
34:29for sure he performed
34:30at a bar mitzvah
34:31Kanye West surprisingly
34:32has not performed
34:34at a bar mitzvah
34:35but in 2011
34:36Kanye told
34:37former CNN president
34:38Jeff Zucker
34:39that he would perform
34:40at one
34:41for one million dollars
34:44Zucker declined
34:45to pay Kanye that much
34:46and instead
34:47hired a much less
34:48controversial rapper
34:49to perform
34:50for his son's big day
34:51who was that rapper?
34:53it's Drake
34:54okay, Drake over here
34:55Michael, you have
34:56a deep hip-hop catalog
34:592011?
35:002011
35:01watch this
35:02name one other rapper
35:06Adrian Brody
35:13the answer is
35:14Drake
35:18double bonus points
35:19who can tell me
35:20which member of
35:21tonight's panel
35:22is seen at their
35:23own bar mitzvah
35:24no
35:25in this photo
35:29oh, the sweetie
35:35that's me signing
35:36the contract
35:37to have Drake perform
35:39did you have a theme
35:40for your bar mitzvah?
35:41yeah, I was raised
35:42so religious
35:43my theme was Judaism
35:45that was odd
35:46one out
35:47we'll be right back
35:54all mouth parrots
35:56if it's not
35:57Dame Judi Dench
35:58I mean
35:59if you've been
36:00appointed a Dame
36:01and you don't buy
36:02a cursing parrot
36:03you're doing something
36:04wrong
36:05Andrew Jackson's parrot
36:06had to be removed
36:07from his funeral
36:08for cursing too much
36:10so I know that
36:11for a fact
36:12which is the only
36:13thing I know
36:14but it's so good
36:17this is your
36:18Slumdog Millionaire
36:19moment
36:21okay, you got
36:22Andrew Jackson
36:23pick one from
36:24the other side
36:25I would also pick
36:26Demi Judi Dench
36:27Demi Judi Dench
36:28and President
36:29Andrew Jackson
36:30both had
36:31a foul mouth
36:32African
36:33gray parrots
36:34Judi Dench
36:35had a foul mouth
36:36parrot named
36:37Sweetheart
36:38and Sweetheart
36:39was known to say
36:40phrases like
36:41quote
36:42you're a slut
36:43and
36:44you're a slag
36:47President Andrew Jackson
36:48indeed had a potty mouth
36:49parrot named
36:50Pole
36:51who allegedly
36:52swore so much
36:53at Jackson's funeral
36:54that he was
36:55kicked out
36:58fun fact
36:59that parrot's dialogue
37:00at the funeral
37:01was the inspiration
37:02for Leonardo DiCaprio's
37:03character in
37:04Django Unchained
37:06alright, next up
37:07we've got
37:08eyeball oddballs
37:09which two of these
37:10people can
37:11independently
37:12move their eyeballs
37:13oh my god
37:14I wanna say
37:15Patrick Stewart
37:16just because it seems
37:17like such a weird
37:18thing
37:19that's not Patrick Stewart
37:20that's Jeff Bezos
37:21oh that's Jeff Bezos
37:23were you serious?
37:24that's not Patrick
37:25yeah, I was totally serious
37:26this is not
37:27Patrick Stewart, bro
37:28I say
37:29Pascal
37:30okay, Pascal
37:31and Kristen Bell
37:32yeah
37:33okay, the answer is
37:34Kristen Bell and
37:35Zoe Saldana
37:38here's the reigning
37:39best supporting actress
37:40winner
37:41showing off her
37:42stupid human trick
37:46and not to be outdone
37:47here's Kristen Bell
37:48doing hers
37:53alright, let's do
37:54Go Go Gaga
37:55which two of these
37:56people used to be
37:57Go Go dancers?
37:58I think it's
37:59Goldie Hawn
38:00and I think it's
38:01Pedro Pascal
38:02I'm gonna say
38:03Pedro Pascal
38:04and
38:05Goldie Hawn
38:06because Goldie Hawn
38:07got her start
38:08and laughing
38:09Pedro Pascal and
38:10Goldie Hawn
38:11were both Go Go dancers
38:14Pedro Pascal was
38:15a Go Go dancer
38:16in Madrid
38:17and he looks back
38:18on the time fondly
38:19saying
38:20quote
38:21I didn't take off
38:22my clothes
38:23but I was a dancer
38:24and had
38:25silver hair
38:26I have some photos
38:27that are just
38:28to die for
38:29Pam Bondi said
38:30she's gonna release
38:31them
38:35we didn't get to
38:36Jeff Bezos and
38:37Russell Brand
38:38but they've both
38:39taken a conservative
38:40turn lately
38:41and were key players
38:42in questionable
38:43life choices
38:44by Katy Perry
38:45more after the break
38:52welcome back
38:53it's time for
38:54which is higher
38:55the rules could not
38:56be simpler
38:57I give you two
38:58unrelated numbers
38:59from the news
39:00and pop culture
39:01you tell me which
39:02number you think
39:03is higher
39:04which is higher
39:05the price of
39:06this luxury
39:07strawberry
39:08at fancy Los Angeles
39:09grocery store
39:10Erewhon
39:11or the price
39:12of one ticket
39:13to see Kid Rock
39:14this month
39:15in section 313
39:16of the KFC
39:17Yum Center
39:18okay
39:19the strawberry
39:20is $19
39:21and by the way
39:22it tasted great
39:23and
39:24I didn't buy it
39:25I think it's
39:26probably still
39:27Kid Rock
39:28cause that
39:29is he really
39:30charging less than
39:31$18 a ticket
39:32I'm gonna guess
39:33you can get
39:34the strawberry
39:35for $19
39:36like you said
39:37I'm gonna guess
39:38you can get
39:39Kid Rock tickets
39:40$6
39:41he's gonna be a
39:42Kennedy Center
39:43honoree next year
39:44you mean the
39:45Rob Schneider
39:46award
39:47the price of
39:48the strawberry
39:49is higher
39:50wow
39:51the price of
39:52one of these
39:53single imported
39:54Japanese strawberries
39:55at Erewhon
39:56costs $19
39:57and as of the
39:58time of this
39:59taping
40:00you can score
40:01a ticket
40:02to a
40:03Kid Rock
40:04concert in
40:05Louisville
40:06for $12
40:07oh
40:08oh
40:09oh
40:10Mr. Rock
40:11that's gotta
40:12feel good
40:13for this panel
40:14cause we're all
40:15live performers
40:16up here
40:17and I know
40:18all of our
40:19tickets are
40:20at Erewhon
40:21you can get
40:22in for two
40:23strawberries
40:24to my show
40:25I want to
40:26thank our
40:27guests Alex
40:28and Lori
40:29and of course
40:30our team
40:31captains
40:32at Erewhon
40:33and Michael
40:34and Black
40:35before we
40:36sign off
40:37here are a
40:38few more
40:39stories we're
40:40watching
40:41birthday boy
40:42anxiously awaits
40:43Benihana
40:44shrimp toss
40:45your friend
40:46knows you
40:47stole that
40:48joke from
40:49a meme
40:50I'm Roy Wood Jr.
40:51and I'll see you
40:52next week for another
40:53episode of
40:54Have I Got News
40:55for You and
40:56remember
40:57there's still
40:58two people
40:59stranded
41:00in space
41:19you
41:21you
41:23you
41:25you
41:27you
41:29you
41:31you
41:33you
41:35you
41:37you
41:39you
41:41you
41:43you
41:45you
41:48you
41:50you
41:52you
41:54you
41:56you
41:58you
42:00you
42:02you
42:04you
42:06you
42:08you
42:10you
42:12you
42:14you
42:16you
42:18you
42:20you
42:22you
42:24you
42:26you
42:28you
42:30you
42:32you
42:34you
42:36you
42:38you
42:40you
42:42you
42:44you
42:46you
42:48you
42:50you
42:52you
42:54you
42:56you
42:58you
43:00you
43:02you
43:04you
43:06you
43:08you
43:10you
43:12you
43:14you
43:16you
43:18you
43:20you
43:22you
43:24you
43:26you
43:28you
43:30you
43:32you
43:34you
43:36you
43:38you
43:40you
43:42you
43:44you
43:46you
43:48you
43:50you
43:52you
43:54you
43:56you
43:58you
44:00you
44:02you
44:04you
44:06you
44:08you
44:10you
44:12you
44:14you
44:16you
44:18you
44:20you
44:22you
44:24you
44:26you
44:28you
44:30you
44:32you
44:34you
44:36you
44:38you
44:40you
44:42you
44:44you
44:46you
44:48you
44:50you
44:52you
44:54you
44:56you
44:58you
45:00you
45:02you
45:04you
45:06you
45:08you
45:10you
45:12you
45:14you
45:16you
45:18you
45:20you
45:22you
45:24you
45:26you
45:28you
45:30you
45:32you
45:34you
45:36you
45:38you
45:40you
45:42you
45:44you
45:46you
45:48you
45:50you
45:52you
45:54you
45:56you
45:58you
46:00you
46:02you
46:04you
46:06you
46:08you
46:10you
46:12you
46:14you
46:16you
46:18you
46:20you
46:22you
46:24you
46:26you
46:28you
46:30you
46:32you
46:34you
46:36you
46:38you
46:40you
46:42you
46:44you
46:46you
46:48you
46:50you
46:52you
46:54you
46:56you
46:58you
47:00you
47:02you
47:04you
47:06you
47:08you
47:10you
47:12you
47:14you
47:16you
47:18you
47:20you
47:22you
47:24you
47:26you
47:28you
47:30you
47:32you
47:34you
47:36you
47:38you
47:40you
47:42you
47:44you
47:46you
47:48you
47:50you
47:52you
47:54you
47:56you
47:58you
48:00you
48:02you
48:04you
48:06you
48:08you
48:10you
48:12you
48:14you
48:16you
48:18you