• 2 days ago
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Transcript
00:00:00oh my god she's insane what are you doing here
00:00:17you set me up you stay away from me you're insane
00:00:21i can't let you ruin my wedding miss leanne you and asher are you're a great couple i'm sorry leanne
00:00:36but you've gotta go
00:00:41they say that sex ruins everything
00:00:52oh and sometimes they're right how was that baby awesome
00:01:00we done here yeah i think i did my job
00:01:14we done here yeah baby you're the best you were amazing was it good for you
00:01:22awesome what's your name again
00:01:26lenny we need to talk what i'm breaking up with you
00:01:34what you mean you are breaking up with me i mean i'm breaking up with you
00:01:40this isn't working out goodbye honey
00:01:46i can't do this anymore what do you mean you were breaking up with me
00:01:49i mean i'm breaking up with you this isn't working out but but take care of monique
00:02:03what am i doing
00:02:05hmm
00:02:12so i tell her dude that's not a pickle that's an okra like seriously so she goes totally
00:02:22bonkers on my brother i mean i don't even know what i saw in him in the first place
00:02:27so i was thinking how about we get out of here and go back to my place sorry i'll be right back
00:02:57oh damn it i'm so sorry oh my god asher yeah what are you doing oh you're drowning my sorrows
00:03:11here same do you want to go to drink sure
00:03:16all right
00:03:21how did i ever lose touch with my undergrad bff uh life i guess we should vow to never let that
00:03:28happen again pinky swear pinky swear friends forever stop doing that
00:03:38we should vow to never let that happen again pinky swear pinky swear friends forever
00:03:45stop doing that
00:03:52thank you oh what about work i actually just started a new job
00:03:57i'm doing marketing at gen guard small world they're our biggest client
00:04:02no way wait what do you do i work at a software development startup
00:04:08so what about your love life what what about your love life
00:04:23oh my god years of bad sex with jerks a lifetime of one night stands with shallow women cheers mate
00:04:31okay
00:04:35how about we
00:04:38stop it no hey we're friends well if you ever do want an earth-shattering orgasm i'm your man
00:04:47sex ruins everything yeah i suppose you're right
00:04:51come on i'll be your wing woman though and i'll be your wing man
00:05:21so
00:05:41i can't remember the last time i had this much fun
00:05:44i can't remember the last time i laughed this hard i think i peed myself a little bit
00:05:51i have that effect on women
00:05:58i forgot how pretty you are thanks i think
00:06:05let's never lose touch again
00:06:07so
00:06:11friends forever
00:06:14friends forever
00:06:37so
00:06:48uh
00:07:06so
00:07:11so
00:07:35let's do that again
00:07:41oh my god what are you doing here i don't know what am i doing here oh my head
00:07:56my head feels like there's banging nails resting on my brain
00:08:00hey that made sense for here what no no no no no no no no bad idea
00:08:12last night was a bad idea why because asher you're one of my best friends
00:08:22fuck sex ruins everything i suppose you're right
00:08:26but still but still
00:08:33i have a proposition what friends with benefits
00:08:40sex without strings you do you i do me and we do each other
00:08:47okay
00:08:59okay sold
00:09:03and benefits
00:09:17so
00:09:28and i'll need the marketing report for the fourth quarter
00:09:38hello ladies asher
00:09:42you two know each other yeah uh we are we know each other from college he's one of my best friends
00:09:50what are you doing here he's here to see my father wait what daddy owns the company
00:09:57i know i actually own the company i work at he's worth billions and here i thought i knew
00:10:05and here i thought i knew everything about you i've been busy since college
00:10:10clearly listen gotta run but talk to you later sure good to see you beth you too
00:10:23oh what a man
00:10:35what's this i took the liberty of drawing up a friends with benefits contract
00:10:40a contract it outlines the parameters of our relationship okay article one nobody knows
00:10:48it might get in the way of us seeing other people good point article two we meet at a
00:10:53mutually agreed upon place at a mutually agreed upon time okay article three honesty and transparency
00:11:01are a must agreed article four no lies no lies
00:11:11article five once one party sleeps with another person the agreement is over
00:11:20i don't like that one gets too complicated otherwise
00:11:26fine
00:11:26and finally
00:11:34friends first friends first
00:11:48let's eat
00:11:56so
00:12:26so
00:12:43no i think the wife did it and i think you're insane no you do
00:12:48you
00:12:55will you go out with me what on a date like will you go on a date with me a real one no
00:13:06i mean no the contract i forget the contract no friends first remember
00:13:15sex romance it ruins everything
00:13:21i'm sure you mean way too much to me for that
00:13:26i'm sure you mean way too much to me for that
00:13:38come on
00:13:44friends first
00:13:45Friends first?
00:13:52Friends first.
00:14:03So, see you at 7 tonight?
00:14:04Yeah, sure.
00:14:15Oh my god!
00:14:18You gotta be kidding!
00:14:19He asked me out! He asked me out!
00:14:22Breathe, Beth. Breathe.
00:14:24I've been crushing on him for so long.
00:14:27On Asher?
00:14:28Yes!
00:14:29He asked you out?
00:14:30Yes!
00:14:31On a date?
00:14:32Yes, yes, yes!
00:14:34Will you grab a coffee with me later?
00:14:36Because you two are such good friends.
00:14:37You can give me some tips.
00:14:39Oh, um, yeah, okay.
00:14:44I gotta go.
00:14:45I'm getting a mini patty ready for the big night.
00:14:47I'm totally freaking out!
00:14:51Bye.
00:15:01Where was he born?
00:15:02Philadelphia.
00:15:03Philadelphia.
00:15:05Uh, favorite food?
00:15:07Um, he likes hot fudge sundaes.
00:15:13Oh, hot fudge sundae.
00:15:16I like your pen. I've never seen that color before.
00:15:19Daddy has a made for me special. It's my favorite color, heliotrope purple.
00:15:23Cool.
00:15:25What about sports?
00:15:28Beth, why don't you just ask him this yourself, on your date?
00:15:31I can't do that. If I'm gonna marry this man, he's gotta think we're meant to be.
00:15:38Marry?
00:15:39You got a problem with that?
00:15:46Why have the two of you never hooked up anyhow?
00:15:49Me and Asher?
00:15:53No, no, no, no, never.
00:15:55He's... we're friends.
00:15:58We're best friends.
00:16:00Good.
00:16:01By the way, I love your outfit.
00:16:03Where'd you get it?
00:16:05Oh, Mason's on third.
00:16:07Super cute.
00:16:08Okay, let's carry on.
00:16:10Uh, siblings?
00:16:15And being an only child.
00:16:17I was an only child as well.
00:16:19Really? Cool.
00:16:21Anyhow, being an only child, my parents sent me to art camp in Philadelphia.
00:16:25I was born in Philly.
00:16:28Shut up. It's my favorite city.
00:16:31Where was the school?
00:16:33Um, I...
00:16:37Can I interest you in some dessert?
00:16:44How about we share a hot fudge sundae?
00:16:48That is my favorite dessert.
00:16:54I can't believe how much we have in common.
00:17:00I had a wonderful time.
00:17:03I really hope we can do this again.
00:17:06That would be great.
00:17:09Good night.
00:17:12Oh, my.
00:17:14Okay, thank you.
00:17:18Listen.
00:17:20I should really head out.
00:17:24Take care.
00:17:26Why don't you come up?
00:17:28And I will fuck you.
00:17:30It's within an inch of your life.
00:17:33Oh.
00:17:35Um, I don't think that would be such a good idea.
00:17:39Why?
00:17:40Because I've sworn off one-night stands.
00:17:44I'm a one-night stand?
00:17:46No, no, it...
00:17:47That's not what I meant. It's just...
00:17:50Sex ruins everything.
00:17:53Let's wait.
00:17:55So it can be perfect.
00:17:58Again?
00:18:02Yes.
00:18:05Okay.
00:18:07Toodles.
00:18:14Beth?
00:18:16It was nice.
00:18:18We have a lot in common.
00:18:22Are you jealous?
00:18:25No.
00:18:29Did you, um...
00:18:31Did you sleep together?
00:18:33No.
00:18:35But not for lack of her trying.
00:18:37Beth?
00:18:39She's an animal.
00:18:41Oh, God.
00:18:43Stop it.
00:18:44Besides, I don't want to ruin our arrangement.
00:18:47Not for Beth, you don't.
00:18:49Yeah, my days of one-night stands are over.
00:18:51I want to wait, just in case she is the one.
00:18:55You never know.
00:18:57I want to get off on the right foot.
00:19:04I'm never getting married.
00:19:07I'm ready to settle down.
00:19:12Oh.
00:19:14You do you.
00:19:16To each his own.
00:19:18Agreed.
00:19:19Did you steal my fudge?
00:19:20Maybe.
00:19:21Give it back.
00:19:22Come on.
00:19:23It's my fudge.
00:19:26It's my strawberry.
00:19:28Alright.
00:19:34That was rude.
00:19:55Leon Lamont, you do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:11You will not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:15True love does not exist.
00:20:17You will only get hurt.
00:20:19He is your friend.
00:20:21Don't blow it.
00:20:23Friendship first.
00:20:25Leon Lamont, you do not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:29You will not have feelings for Asher.
00:20:31True love does not exist.
00:20:33You will only get hurt.
00:20:35He is your friend.
00:20:36Don't blow it.
00:20:40Friendship first.
00:20:43Leon Lamont.
00:20:53Friendship first.
00:21:13Hey.
00:21:14Shit.
00:21:16I'm so sorry.
00:21:18My bad, my fault.
00:21:20Hang on.
00:21:23You got a tissue?
00:21:28Here.
00:21:29Let me.
00:21:30Hey, what are you doing?
00:21:31Stop cock-blocking me.
00:21:33Oh, I didn't realize.
00:21:35Hey, Asher.
00:21:37Eric.
00:21:41Okay.
00:21:43Well, see you guys later.
00:21:48Here.
00:21:52I'm Leanne, by the way.
00:21:54I'm Eric.
00:22:04That was fun.
00:22:06Yeah, was that fun or was Eric fun?
00:22:11Both.
00:22:13Okay.
00:22:14You gotta watch out for him.
00:22:15He's a player.
00:22:16So what?
00:22:18Think I can't handle myself?
00:22:20No, that's not what I'm saying.
00:22:23Oh my God.
00:22:25Are you jealous?
00:22:27No, I'm not jealous.
00:22:28Why would I be jealous?
00:22:30We're friends with benefits, remember?
00:22:33Yeah.
00:22:35You don't have to be a dick about it.
00:22:37Okay, I'm not being a dick.
00:22:39You're just making another bad choice.
00:22:43I can handle myself.
00:22:46Yeah, fine.
00:22:47Be that way.
00:22:51You know, maybe things are getting too complicated.
00:22:55Maybe we need to end this arrangement.
00:23:00Maybe you're so shut down that you can only date asshole men.
00:23:09Maybe you should go fuck yourself.
00:23:13Maybe I will.
00:23:17Yes.
00:23:20Yes.
00:23:26Flowers for Mrs. Lynn Lemont.
00:23:29That's me.
00:23:30Oh my God.
00:23:35I'm Eric.
00:23:43What are you doing here?
00:23:45Had a meeting with Best Dad.
00:23:49Those from Eric?
00:23:51Yes.
00:23:56They're nice.
00:24:00Listen, I'm really sorry about last night.
00:24:05I was out of line.
00:24:07No.
00:24:08No, I was out of line.
00:24:13I'm so sorry about the slap.
00:24:17Oh my God.
00:24:19Yeah, I deserved it.
00:24:25Friends forever?
00:24:28Friends forever.
00:24:32Dinner later?
00:24:35Sounds awesome.
00:24:48I love you.
00:24:55Someone's in a good mood.
00:24:57Oh, it's just...
00:24:59I'm just so happy.
00:25:02You know, Leanne, I think I like Asher a lot.
00:25:07I think he could be the one.
00:25:09Oh.
00:25:10I think I'm falling in love.
00:25:13You've only just started dating.
00:25:16Have you ever had a connection that's just so deep, so immediate, that you just know?
00:25:25Yeah.
00:25:27That's awesome.
00:25:29You know, he told me he wants us to wait for sex.
00:25:33He says he wants to build a strong foundation first.
00:25:39I hope you're not jealous.
00:25:42Oh, no.
00:25:44I don't know.
00:25:45I just want him to be happy.
00:25:47By the way, I love your lipstick.
00:25:48It's so unique.
00:25:50What color is it?
00:25:52Paris pink.
00:25:54I love it.
00:25:56Anyway, gotta go.
00:25:57Toodles.
00:26:06Why are you so down?
00:26:08What's wrong?
00:26:11Nothing.
00:26:13Famous last words.
00:26:15Is it attic?
00:26:18Of course not.
00:26:20How's Beth, by the way?
00:26:22She thinks that you're gonna settle down with her.
00:26:25You never know.
00:26:30Give me your hand.
00:26:32I'll tell you what's gonna happen.
00:26:33Come on.
00:26:34Okay.
00:26:36Okay.
00:26:37This is your lifeline.
00:26:40It's long.
00:26:42You have a nice long life.
00:26:44Okay.
00:26:45This is your headline for wisdom.
00:26:49And looks like you have done some stupid things.
00:26:58And this is your loveline.
00:27:01So you've got a rocky beginning over here.
00:27:05But you have a long line of love ahead of you.
00:27:13I love you.
00:27:31You wanna go home and fuck?
00:27:33Great idea.
00:27:42I love you.
00:27:43I love you too.
00:28:12I love you too.
00:28:28Looks like we had fun last night.
00:28:34Do you have a key?
00:28:36No.
00:28:40I was just kidding.
00:29:03Nice trick.
00:29:04Right?
00:29:05Yeah.
00:29:10Who is that?
00:29:11I have no idea.
00:29:13Hello!
00:29:15Your front door was unlocked.
00:29:18I brought dough!
00:29:30That sucked.
00:29:33How could you?
00:29:38Beth!
00:29:39Wait, Beth!
00:29:40Fuck, what have I done?
00:29:44What do you mean, what have you done?
00:29:46Beth, it's not what it looks like!
00:29:58Hey, what are you doing?
00:30:00I'm leaving.
00:30:01I'm leaving.
00:30:02I'm getting dressed.
00:30:03I'm going.
00:30:04I'm feeling kind of yucky right now.
00:30:05I'm sorry, okay?
00:30:06You didn't do anything.
00:30:07It was me.
00:30:08I fucked up.
00:30:09You said it wasn't serious.
00:30:11It wasn't.
00:30:12It isn't.
00:30:13It doesn't matter.
00:30:14I fucked up.
00:30:15Whatever it is, it was.
00:30:16I fucked it up, okay?
00:30:21I guess it's time for us to end this friends with benefits thing.
00:30:25Yeah.
00:30:30Friends first?
00:30:36Friends first.
00:30:55Hey, Beth.
00:30:56Go away.
00:31:02I need to talk to you.
00:31:05I fired her except Danny said we'd get sued.
00:31:08You, on the other hand, I don't want to speak to you ever again.
00:31:12No, it's not what she's saying, okay?
00:31:14It was a stupid game, friends with benefits, but it's over now, okay?
00:31:18I promise.
00:31:25Do you love her?
00:31:27Of course not.
00:31:28Okay, she means nothing to me.
00:31:32Really?
00:31:34Hey, I want to see what happens between us, you and me.
00:31:40Please, give me another chance.
00:31:49I suppose.
00:31:51I suppose.
00:31:55Okay.
00:32:09Leanne, it's me again.
00:32:11Don't know why you're avoiding me.
00:32:13I'm so confused.
00:32:15Friends forever, remember?
00:32:21Eric.
00:32:23Hi.
00:32:24I'm sorry if it's been a while.
00:32:27I know I've been out of touch, but I would love to see you again if you're up for it.
00:32:41Asher, Asher, it's me.
00:32:44I haven't heard from you in like four hours.
00:32:46What's going on?
00:32:47Are you with Leanne?
00:32:48What's going on?
00:32:49Are you with Leanne?
00:32:50Call me!
00:33:03Okay, Leanne, I don't know what I did to drive you away, but I'll leave you alone now.
00:33:10If you ever want to be friends again, you'll know where to find me.
00:33:18Bye.
00:33:34It's Eric.
00:33:35Leave a message.
00:33:37Hey, Eric.
00:33:40I just wanted to say that I had a great time the other night and I wanted to see what you were doing later.
00:33:45Asher, Asher, where are you?
00:33:48Why won't you call me back?
00:33:50I know you're with her.
00:33:51You lied to me!
00:33:54Okay.
00:33:55Miss you.
00:33:56Call me.
00:33:57Bye.
00:34:02Beth, I got your 35 messages.
00:34:07Listen, I'd really like to get to know you better and spend some time with you, but maybe we need to slow things down a bit.
00:34:15I'll call you when I can.
00:34:36Hey, hey, hey, hey, babe.
00:34:45Slow down.
00:34:52To love.
00:34:55Wait.
00:34:57Love sucks.
00:35:01Okay.
00:35:03I think we've had enough.
00:35:07How about we head back to my place?
00:35:12Fabulous.
00:35:16Easy.
00:35:37What?
00:35:44What a goody, isn't he?
00:36:06I'm just so happy to see you again.
00:36:18Yeah, I'm sorry I've been aloof.
00:36:20Just been going through some stuff.
00:36:21You want to talk about it, baby?
00:36:23No, that's okay.
00:36:24Just life.
00:36:25Is it Leanne?
00:36:27I don't want to talk about Leanne.
00:36:30You know her and Eric have gotten hot and heavy.
00:36:32I thought she wasn't into Eric.
00:36:34Well, when I was out and about this morning, I saw her leaving Eric's apartment.
00:36:40And what looked like her clothes from last night.
00:36:43No way, she would never.
00:36:44He's a knob.
00:36:47Which is why I grabbed a photo.
00:36:53I guess she's not the same you think she is.
00:37:04I love you.
00:37:34I love you.
00:38:04I love you.
00:38:35What the fuck, Leanne?
00:38:38How could you miss that?
00:38:40Sorry.
00:38:41I'm trying my best.
00:38:42Hey.
00:38:44Your best isn't good enough.
00:38:45He causes the game.
00:38:47Okay, hey, you've had too much to drink.
00:38:49Don't tell me what to do, woman.
00:38:51She can handle herself.
00:38:53Remember, that part of your life is over.
00:38:54Everyone!
00:38:55Asher.
00:38:56Look at the loser.
00:38:58So embarrassing.
00:39:02Fucking prick.
00:39:03Come here.
00:39:08Come on.
00:39:34I love you.
00:39:35I love you.
00:39:36I love you.
00:39:37I love you.
00:39:38I love you.
00:39:39I love you.
00:39:40I love you.
00:39:41I love you.
00:39:42I love you.
00:39:43I love you.
00:39:44I love you.
00:39:45I love you.
00:39:46I love you.
00:39:47I love you.
00:39:48I love you.
00:39:49I love you.
00:39:50I love you.
00:39:51I love you.
00:39:52I love you.
00:39:53I love you.
00:39:54I love you.
00:39:55I love you.
00:39:56I love you.
00:39:57I love you.
00:39:58I love you.
00:39:59I love you.
00:40:00I love you.
00:40:01I love you.
00:40:02I love you.
00:40:03I love you.
00:40:04I love you.
00:40:20Are you breaking up with me?
00:40:23I wouldn't call it breaking up.
00:40:24We only just got back together!
00:40:28Beth.
00:40:29We were never together.
00:40:31I mean we went out like six times
00:40:35You said you wanted to see where things went. Yes, and unfortunately they went in another direction
00:40:42I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you
00:40:45You're fired you can't fire me I don't work at your company and I own mine
00:40:52I'll fire Leanne. You can't she'll sue
00:40:55I
00:40:59Really enjoyed our time together and more than anything. I truly hope that we can remain friends
00:41:25I
00:41:55Really enjoyed our time together and more than anything. I truly hope that we can remain friends
00:42:25You
00:42:52Hey
00:42:55Oh
00:43:26I can't believe you think I'm lying. Then. How do you explain this? I don't know. I didn't send it
00:43:34You've been sneaking around with Eric and accidentally sent me a text
00:43:42I am NOT seeing Eric
00:43:46Why would I cheat on you? You're you're my lover. You're my best friend
00:43:50I
00:43:55Am NOT a cheater I did not send that text and I don't know how it got there
00:44:00But if you want to break up over this then fine
00:44:07I do
00:44:12Okay
00:44:20You
00:44:50You
00:44:59Wondering if you prefer cream puffs or cheesecake for the dessert or both thoughts
00:45:07Please don't marry you don't love her. You're rebounding
00:45:12I
00:45:19Thinking chartreuse and pink for the bridesmaids thoughts a string quartet instead of a jazz trio thoughts
00:45:30They say he's the photographer to the stars
00:45:42You
00:45:49Seat your uncle Harold next to my second cousin once removed
00:45:52I think they'd really get along because it turns out that they both have the same dog. Did you know that it's crazy?
00:45:58Oh my god
00:46:12I
00:46:24Have tons of dresses and shoes to try on for you and there's more with the doorman. Could you run down and grab them?
00:46:42Oh
00:47:02You are gone at Leanne Lamont once I'm done with this he is never gonna want to see you
00:47:12I
00:47:18Relationship to you and your company is officially terminated effective now
00:47:23Wait, what?
00:47:25Our source indicates you've been selling Fallon industry secrets to our competitors. Who's the source?
00:47:36Oh my god, why would she do this?
00:47:40Lovers scorned I suppose. No, it's not true. This will ruin me, you know, Asher. I
00:47:47Have half a mind to call off your wedding to my bethy-bethy this weekend
00:47:51But you never speak to me again
00:47:56So I'm stuck with you mr. Fallon, I
00:47:59Swear, this isn't true. It doesn't matter at this point. It's already in the trades
00:48:05You're toxic Asher
00:48:08Nobody will touch you
00:48:10So now you get your ass out of my office
00:48:21Asher bitch
00:48:24What?
00:48:25Jealous bitch. What are you doing? What are you? I'm getting married to someone else on Saturday
00:48:31So you got jealous and decided to ruin me
00:48:34honey
00:48:35What are you talking about I
00:48:38Would never try to ruin you old job. Well done. Okay, let's just figure this out. Stay away from me
00:48:46Asher you're one of my best friends. We are not friends. Okay, we are nothing
00:48:54Stay away from me. Don't contact me. Don't speak to me. Don't look at me
00:48:59You are dead to me
00:49:29You
00:49:59You
00:50:29I
00:50:59I
00:51:29I
00:51:59I
00:52:11Didn't write this
00:52:18Heliotrope purple it was Beth
00:52:22She's been trying to break us up all along
00:52:24Oh my god
00:52:26Wedding's on Saturday
00:52:28I have to warn him
00:52:30Come on come on
00:52:32Asher
00:52:34Katie
00:52:36Come on
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