Henry está viviendo una crisis de pareja.
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00:00How are you? Hello?
00:02Hello, good afternoon.
00:04What is your name?
00:06Henry.
00:08Henry, tell me, what happened to you and how can we help you?
00:12Look, the truth is that I am in a crisis, which is very complicated, very complex.
00:21Okay, why are you so complicated?
00:24The thing is that I have my current partner, who is 5 years old.
00:31Okay.
00:32And I met her at work.
00:37Okay.
00:38At that time I was with my son's mother, and it turns out that I separated from my son's mother and I became my current partner.
00:51Okay, let me understand.
00:53You met your current partner at work, but at that moment, when you met her, you were married, I imagine, or in a relationship, with who is your son's mother.
01:06Correct.
01:07How long had you been in a relationship before?
01:10Six years.
01:12Six years.
01:13Okay.
01:14Correct.
01:15I want to ask you a question, Henry.
01:17When you started going out and being unfaithful to your son's mother, were you in a crisis?
01:27Yes, I was in a crisis.
01:32Okay.
01:33How did you realize that you were in that crisis and why did you decide to get out of that crisis?
01:37Maybe you saw it as an option to have another person.
01:41When I got home, we practically didn't have a conversation.
01:50Okay.
01:51She was on her side, I was on my side.
01:53Okay.
01:54She took care of our son, and when I met this person, I felt attracted to her.
02:07And also, she was different from me.
02:10What I didn't receive at home, in the sense of affection, concern, that's the issue.
02:19Okay.
02:20The most important thing is her part.
02:23So, she arrived at the worst moment of your previous relationship?
02:27Exactly.
02:29She somehow came to give you air, because maybe you were having a bad time.
02:35You've been with her for five years, but how was your previous relationship with her?
02:42Did they discover your infidelity and you stayed with her?
02:46Or was it gradual, and then you ended up with another relationship?
02:51No, it was two or three months of being, which I couldn't continue.
03:00Okay.
03:02Because I felt bad, it was serious.
03:08It was serious for me.
03:10I felt bad and I preferred to tell the truth.
03:13Did you confess to her that you were cheating on her?
03:16Correct.
03:17And did you feel very in love with this person who is currently your partner?
03:24Yes, I felt very attracted, very in love.
03:30I think it was mutual, and that's why I took the step to end the previous relationship.
03:39How was that breakup? Was it very dramatic?
03:42It was painful.
03:44It was painful because I had a son.
03:49I left my son and everything.
03:54Thank God I always saw him.
03:58I separated from him.
04:00And how is your relationship with your ex?
04:03Good.
04:05She forgave me.
04:07She forgave you?
04:09She forgave me, she forgave me.
04:12Thank God we never had problems, discussions, like father, mother, son.
04:21I think all people.
04:23But in relation to the father, we have always had a good relationship.
04:28Look, you call our program because we are talking about the crisis, right?
04:35As a couple.
04:36But now you have a crisis with whom was your lover and with whom you decided to make a life five years ago.
04:43Exactly.
04:44Why do you realize that now you have that crisis?
04:48The truth is that today, I think it happened before and now it's happening to me again.
04:59With her we don't have much communication.
05:02She lost the fact that she had worked together for a long time.
05:07She no longer feels those butterflies, there is no longer something forbidden, she no longer has much shine.
05:14Maybe that's how that relationship started.
05:17I imagine it must have been a tremendous adventure.
05:20That in the end it takes you out to shine.
05:24Various things or sensations that you had never felt before.
05:27Did that happen?
05:29Exactly.
05:31Today I feel bad.
05:36I give everything for my son and I feel the need to be with him.
05:45I feel that I also failed.
05:47Do you have a TV nearby?
05:51No, I don't have a TV nearby.
05:55I want to ask you a very intimate question.
05:58I'm going to get a little closer to the camera.
06:00I want to ask you a question.
06:08Henry, pay close attention.
06:11Did you regret starting a new relationship with your lover?
06:20I don't know if I was going to regret it.
06:25I don't know if I was going to regret it.
06:30I'm going to ask you another question.
06:33Are you in love with your ex?
06:36At this moment I feel that I am not.
06:39And she doesn't know.
06:41Do you feel that you are not in love with your ex?
06:45With my ex.
06:47What?
06:48With my ex, you say?
06:50Yes.
06:52With my ex, I feel that I love her a lot.
06:56When I say your ex, I mean your son's mother.
07:00Because you say that in some way,
07:04part of the crisis that you are experiencing,
07:07is because you want to be with them again.
07:11And she forgave you.
07:13She forgave me.
07:15We have been in conversations,
07:19and something similar has happened.
07:23Ah, now I could understand
07:27that your ex, who is your son's mother,
07:30is now turning into your lover.
07:34Exactly.
07:37And how long ago?
07:40A couple of months.
07:44And you don't dare to tell your current partner
07:47that this is happening?
07:49Do you feel that it would be a betrayal?
07:52Exactly.
07:54Apart from the fact that she is very emotionally...
08:00I don't know the exact word,
08:03but she is emotionally bad.
08:06Because we have been in a crisis for a couple of months,
08:10and she doesn't accept it.
08:13She doesn't accept it.
08:15We broke up. She doesn't accept it.
08:18But have you tried to tell her?
08:21Yes, I have tried.
08:23But I haven't found the right moment,
08:25because she has always been bad.
08:28Do you think it could be a kind of manipulation
08:31so that you don't tell her the truth?
08:33So that you don't leave her?
08:36I don't know the truth.
08:38I don't know the truth.
08:40She knows that I don't love her.
08:43She knows that you don't love her.
08:45Now, I want to ask you another question, Henry.
08:48So that you are very honest.
08:51Why did you have the courage to leave your ex with your son
08:55and you don't have the courage to leave her now?
08:58Because I understand that you don't have children with her.
09:01The truth is that I can't find the answer,
09:05and that's why I need help.
09:07We're going to help you.
09:09Look, I'm going to stand next to Alexandra.
09:14You're so alone that they let you go today.
09:16Yes, but I came.
09:17Let me support you.
09:18I was attentive to what you were asking.
09:21How are you going to do it?
09:22First, Henry, I want to thank you for your trust,
09:27because what you are raising can represent many people
09:30who are listening to us right now.
09:33Priscila asked you very good questions,
09:35but the most important thing here is that it is super transparent,
09:38because we are going to do a kind of live intervention
09:41that can help other people,
09:43and know from the bottom of your being
09:45what you really want.
09:47And I'll stop for a second,
09:49because you did something in your first marriage
09:52to fix the situation,
09:54because you said, she lacked communication,
09:57we let ourselves be,
09:59and you, an external person appeared,
10:01and you hooked up with that external person,
10:04perhaps making an emotional decision,
10:06you got in here, and now you have another disagreement,
10:11and you want to go back to your first relationship.
10:13So, there are two people involved,
10:15two women who have feelings, emotions, and a child.
10:19What do you really want to do
10:21so as not to make another mistake again?
10:24And from there we can help you.
10:27Henry.
10:28Look, the truth is, what I want right now,
10:32I've been wanting to be here for a while,
10:35I want to find my tranquility too.
10:39My tranquility, for me, is my son too.
10:42I want to be with my son,
10:44I always miss him,
10:46I need him day by day,
10:48I've wasted many years with him,
10:50although I've always done it,
10:52and at the same time I also feel
10:54that I've felt something for my son again.
10:59But there is an important thing,
11:01you want to go back,
11:03let's forget about your son for a second,
11:05because children grow up,
11:06and we can't use them
11:08to repair a relationship,
11:10because you may realize later
11:12that you came back for your son,
11:14and you'll be uncomfortable again,
11:15and it's going in and out,
11:16and there we do plan to hurt
11:18and cause a toxic, dysfunctional home.
11:21So, do you want to come back
11:23because you're in love with your wife,
11:26with your first wife,
11:28or do you want to come back for your son?
11:31Let's think as men,
11:32before as fathers,
11:33because that's super important
11:35so you don't make a mistake
11:36or steal your wife's time,
11:38or leave someone else,
11:39because deep down
11:40you leave people hurt on the way.
11:42What do you really want to do?
11:45You.
11:46The truth is that I want to be with my ex-partner.
11:49You want to be with your ex-partner.
11:51And this with your ex-partner
11:53is a decision for you,
11:56analyzed,
11:58a decision that you've thought about,
12:01that you feel for her
12:02so you don't make a mistake again,
12:03because if that's the case,
12:05in that complex,
12:06what Priscila asked you very well
12:07in the intervention she did all this time,
12:09is that no one can force you
12:12to be with another person
12:16because you can emotionally
12:20how do you say it?
12:21Fragilize, etc.,
12:22but you have to do
12:24what you feel
12:25without leaving people hurt,
12:27but be in a relationship
12:28where you're also being unfaithful now
12:30to your second wife.
12:32It's better to be transparent, right?
12:34Because I imagine
12:35that you don't live in peace that way.
12:38Not at all.
12:39I don't live in peace at all.
12:41In fact, right now
12:43I have a knot in my stomach
12:46because the truth is that
12:47I always need help
12:49because I think I can't do it
12:52without receiving advice.
12:55Henry, I want to ask you a question.
12:57In these five years
12:59your ex has had another partner?
13:04I don't know that.
13:06But I imagine that
13:07during all this time
13:09she was always in love with you.
13:12Yes, from what I have seen,
13:14how she behaves,
13:17she is a very good person,
13:19both of them,
13:20nothing to say.
13:22Yes, especially because
13:24she was able to forgive you.
13:26And she is the one who also tells you
13:28that she is able to come back to you
13:30and forget everything that happened?
13:33Yes, in fact,
13:34we had a conversation
13:36and she told me that
13:38as time went by,
13:40she felt that she had seen things
13:43in a different way
13:44than what we had been through.
13:46At one point she recognized
13:48that she also made mistakes.
13:50Me too.
13:52Give me a second.
13:54Give me a second
13:55because Mariela Sotomayor
13:56also wants to tell you something.
13:58Henry, how are you?
14:01Do you know what's wrong with me?
14:02I'm listening to you
14:03and while I was listening to you,
14:04before you said
14:05you had that knot in your throat,
14:07I felt you with that knot.
14:09Henry,
14:10we don't know each other,
14:12but I want to tell you
14:13several things
14:14that I was noticing
14:15during all this time
14:16that we are talking to you.
14:17The first thing
14:18is that I think that in you
14:19there is a lot of guilt, my friend,
14:22that has to do with things
14:23that already happened.
14:24And the things that already happened,
14:26I also had to learn
14:27in life,
14:28that no longer exist
14:29because the past does not exist.
14:30What exists today
14:31is the present.
14:32And I want to tell you something.
14:35You have betrayed your ex-partner,
14:37today you are betraying
14:38your new partner,
14:39but there is one person
14:41to whom you cannot betray
14:43and that is yourself.
14:46You are the only person
14:48who is capable today
14:49of building your future.
14:50And I believe, my friend,
14:52that what you have to do
14:53is sit down
14:54and have a great conversation
14:56with yourself.
14:57Listen to yourself, feel yourself
14:59and really say
15:01what I really want
15:03and play with it
15:04for your happiness.
15:05I feel that that is
15:06what you have to do.
15:07Yes, I think it is likely
15:09that he is afraid
15:11to make a mistake again.
15:13I would also like to ask you, Henry,
15:16when you had problems
15:17with your first marriage,
15:18did you really do something
15:20to try to fix that situation?
15:23I mean to communicate with her,
15:25to talk about the problems,
15:26to look for a therapeutic help
15:28that you could fix
15:29before leaving everything?
15:32Because that is going to be
15:33very important.
15:34Yes?
15:35Look...
15:36Did you go to the psychologist?
15:38Did you have any kind of therapy?
15:39Do you plan to have any therapy?
15:42First we got together
15:46and we talked.
15:49We tried to fix it,
15:51but we never got to the point.
15:54We never got to the point
15:55to fix things.
15:56They always got worse.
15:59Until I made the decision
16:02because we didn't get along anymore.
16:05It got very serious
16:07because sometimes
16:09they came to scream
16:11and I don't like
16:13aggression at all,
16:14neither verbal nor physical.
16:16That's important.
16:17Who attacked you?
16:18Your ex-wife?
16:20No, look,
16:22there are bad words
16:24that, even if you made a mistake,
16:27hurt a lot.
16:30I would like to assume my mistake
16:33and decide too
16:35because I couldn't live in peace.
16:37There is an important question
16:39that happens sometimes
16:40when we get emotional
16:42and make decisions that are wrong
16:44or very fast in the emotion.
16:46I would like to ask you something important.
16:48You have talked to your ex-wife
16:51and she is willing to forgive you
16:53because sometimes
16:54in desperation,
16:55in emotional dependence,
16:57in a series of things,
16:59we try to come back
17:00and then maybe
17:01she forgives you
17:02and doesn't forgive you from the soul
17:04and you start to have conflicts.
17:05That can also happen, Priscila,
17:06that she starts to charge you.
17:07Of course.
17:08So it's important to know
17:09if he,
17:10with her,
17:11they have a good conversation
17:12and that stays in oblivion,
17:13as you said.
17:14Yes, that's important.
17:15Basically, communication
17:17is fundamental here
17:18and how you feel.
17:20Have you talked to her?
17:21Yes.
17:22We talked to her
17:23at some point.
17:24Already?
17:25Yes.
17:26She told me she forgave me.
17:28Already.
17:29That I had matured.
17:31Already.
17:32And that if she gave me the chance again
17:34I would give 100%.
17:36Henry,
17:37now it is very important
17:38that the moment you make the decision
17:40you are 100% sure.
17:42And probably a therapy,
17:43in this case,
17:44will help you.
17:46And probably take a therapy
17:47only in the first instance
17:48because there are two people involved.
17:50So,
17:51that's why I also want to ask you,
17:53Alexandra,
17:54do you recommend a therapy to him
17:56to talk to himself,
17:58to somehow vent
18:00and get everything out?
18:01Because he says he is very discreet.
18:03He doesn't like to tell so many things.
18:05And probably
18:06the advice of friends
18:08or relatives.
18:09I don't know if you have
18:11socialized this with someone,
18:14Henry?
18:15Do you have someone?
18:16No, with no one.
18:17With no one.
18:18I have been very
18:20introverted.
18:22Sure.
18:23Because there is a point
18:25that it is probable that
18:27you have done well.
18:28Because people,
18:29when they give you advice,
18:30they give you advice
18:31from their fears.
18:33And probably
18:34it is important
18:35that a specialist
18:36helps you
18:38to know what is going on
18:39inside you.
18:40That's why,
18:41Alexandra,
18:42probably
18:43it would be a good idea
18:44for him to do a therapy?
18:45Yes,
18:46I think that, Henry,
18:47an advice like this,
18:48because you are having a hard time,
18:49because I imagine
18:50you have to be aware,
18:51because there are two people
18:52involved,
18:53including your son.
18:54I think that
18:55you left one home
18:56and went to another.
18:57You formed another.
18:58I think that
18:59before going back
19:00to your other relationship
19:01with your ex-wife,
19:02it would be super good
19:03if you had
19:04some time
19:05just with yourself,
19:06entering your home,
19:07connecting with your feelings.
19:08What do I really want
19:09if I am afraid of loneliness?
19:11If I have a lack of attachment?
19:13If I merge emotionally
19:16dependent.
19:17And as Priscila says,
19:18doing a therapy
19:19where you can express
19:20your feelings
19:21and clarify yourself,
19:22and see what you really want
19:24so you don't make
19:25a mistake again,
19:26because you are going
19:27to go back home,
19:28your son is going to get used to it,
19:29the ex-wife,
19:30everything that is going to happen,
19:31and if he leaves again.
19:33Of course,
19:34it would be much worse,
19:35especially because
19:36the respect for these two people,
19:37the most important thing
19:38is that here
19:39there is a son
19:40that we cannot
19:41keep making him suffer.
19:42Henry,
19:43thank you very much
19:44for contacting us.
19:45We hope
19:46we have given you
19:47all the tools
19:48and the guidance
19:49you need
19:50because we see you
19:51very distressed.
19:52If your stomach hurts
19:53and you have a knot
19:54in your stomach,
19:55I imagine
19:56you can't resist
19:57living like this anymore,
19:58but the important thing
19:59is to be seen,
20:00as they say,
20:01rightly,
20:02right?
20:03And that will help you.
20:04So,
20:05pull up,
20:06I'm going to make
20:07the best decision,
20:08then you tell us.
20:09Thank you very much
20:10for everything.
20:11Thank you very much
20:12for everything
20:13and I wish you all the best.
20:14A hug!
20:15Cheer up!
20:16Hey!
20:17No!
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