This summer will mark five years since Glee star Naya Rivera’s shocking drowning death. The former Glee star's ex Ryan Dorsey opens up to PEOPLE exclusively for the first time about Naya's passing and life as a single dad raising their son Josey. Dorsey can't help but think that if he'd been there the day Naya died, he could've done something to change the outcome of the day. "I probably would have jumped in, and I like to think I would've saved the day," he says. "But on the other hand, I think maybe something bad could have happened to both of us. I don't know."
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00:00It was a windy day. They didn't have an anchor.
00:02Josie said the wind was blowing.
00:12The crazy part is Josie told me, he told all of us, but he said,
00:17and he didn't tell me this for a while after, he's like, we jumped in and I said,
00:24are you sure about this? She's like, yeah. He's like, oh my God, are we going to die?
00:28And mommy said, don't be silly. He said, and we jumped in and that's what happened.
00:35I guess the boat was getting away from them and she told him to go back to the boat and he
00:41swam back to the boat. I still can't figure out, it doesn't make much sense how he was able to get
00:47on and she wasn't. It's just crazy because I think if I would have been there, I definitely
00:53would have went and we got the boat. I probably would have jumped in. I probably would have
00:58jumped in when the life jacket, you know, did that happen for a reason why I didn't go? Why
01:05I didn't answer the phone that morning? Or could I have saved her if I was there? Which, you know,
01:10the hero in me thinks I would, thinks I would, nothing would have happened,
01:14but maybe there was something crazy that happened, like these rumors of undercurrents and all this,
01:20you know, the history of the lake. So maybe it would have got both of us. I don't know.
01:26But I'd like to think I would have saved the day, you know, but that's not the way the story ended.
01:35And it's just, that's the kind of thing you keep second guessing yourself. And like one part I'm
01:42thinking, all right, it happened because something bad could have happened to both of us. The other
01:47part I'm thinking, you know, I could have, I could have saved the day.