Parvati Shallow Thought She Was Having a Heart Attack After Locking in Book Deal
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00:00You have a book coming out.
00:01I do.
00:02Tell me about The Nice Girls Don't Win.
00:04This is my memoir and it covers my whole life up until very recent, up until going, coming
00:11back from playing Deal or No Deal.
00:13Oh wow, okay.
00:14That's the epilogue.
00:15So it's like, I mean, it's a journey of going from a really naive sort of like, oh no, I
00:25just want to be liked and I want people to like, think I'm great, to I really know who
00:30I am.
00:31I'm able to make these decisions and create a life that I really love that is so authentic
00:36to me.
00:37So I share stories about getting cast on Survivor, going out and playing, what that was like
00:42for me, and Traitors is in there, my marriage, having a baby, my divorce, and then getting
00:50into a queer relationship for the first time in my life.
00:53It covers the whole range and it's pretty vulnerable and very intimate and stories
00:59that I've never shared.
01:01Was it cathartic?
01:03Was it fun?
01:04Was it scary to write?
01:05It was all of those things.
01:07It was the hardest thing I've ever done and I have birthed a baby and I've played five
01:12seasons of Survivor.
01:13So it was like, it was big time.
01:16Yeah, but I'm a different person because I wrote the book.
01:21I have really reclaimed my power and my voice.
01:25And I assume excited for people to read it, obviously, but is there any sort of like nerves
01:29or like, maybe I shouldn't have gone there with that story, but oh well, or this person
01:32might be like, great, don't love that one.
01:34Or like, how does that feel about getting right?
01:36Because one thing to write it, it's another thing to then let everybody read it.
01:40I know, and I am a chronic oversharer in my life, I think, but it hasn't been public in
01:47this way.
01:49So some of the stories are really vulnerable.
01:51Like I wrote about the death of my brother and what that was like.
01:55So with my parents reading it, I'm like, I'm sorry, please.
01:59I asked for forgiveness instead of permission, kind of a thing.
02:04And then with my dating life, there's some of that in there that I'm like, hopefully
02:08is fine for them.
02:10But when I got my book deal, I got the call from Random House and they're like, we want
02:15this.
02:16I thought I was having a heart attack.
02:18I was like, I'm dying.
02:19I think I need to check myself into the urgent care because I think my body was having a
02:23reaction to knowing that I was going to have to follow through and really put these stories
02:28out into the world.
02:29Wow.
02:30And it was terrifying.
02:31Well, if that's not a tease that there's going to be some interesting stuff to dive into,
02:35I don't know what would be.
02:36Whereas you can pre-order it now.
02:37I just might have to.
02:38Make sure you have a copy.
02:39Nice Girls Don't Win, obviously we kind of know that can be a play on Survivor, but why
02:44was that the title?
02:45Well, yeah, that was the title because Sandra and I had that feud, Nice Girls Don't Win,
02:51Survivor or Build Lives They Love.
02:52I really believe that.
02:54I think that when I talk about being nice, it's different from being kind.
02:58I think I'm a kind person.
03:00Be kind.
03:01I want everyone to be kind.
03:02But being nice has this stickiness to it that is like, I'm going to be nice to you so you
03:07like me.
03:08So you want to give me the things that I want from you.
03:12So really it's about stop trying to be liked and start living your life authentically for
03:19you.
03:20And then you will find a way to win whatever it is that you're doing in your life.