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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:00:09What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:00:14Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:19If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:00:23Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:00:26What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply it to your penniless self?
00:00:31And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:00:36All right, everybody get out!
00:00:39We got an important guest coming!
00:00:43You!
00:00:48You deaf? I said pack up and scram!
00:00:50I paid the stall fee already, and if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:00:57You want to say that again?
00:01:01You know who's visiting today?
00:01:03Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:01:07Ellen Musk?
00:01:08Of course, a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:01:11Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:01:15Really? Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market?
00:01:21You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:01:27Coming to see you?
00:01:29All right, you know what? I'll play your game.
00:01:32If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:01:39Let's go.
00:01:48Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:01:52You're fired.
00:02:12Prepare the limo. Ms. Lockhart requires this immediately.
00:02:22Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:02:24Good. Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:02:27Five, four, three, two, one.
00:02:39Ellen, I mean, Ms. Musk, Ellen, I mean, I'm sorry that I, sorry to frighten you.
00:02:48How's my boss bitch?
00:02:50You can ask, girlfriend.
00:02:52So how do you, like...
00:02:55She's my boss?
00:02:58I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:03:02No way.
00:03:06Well?
00:03:11No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss. No, I won't do it again.
00:03:17All right, that's enough. We're not tyrants here.
00:03:26Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:03:34You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:03:37They're on their way back.
00:03:40You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker.
00:03:44Who are you?
00:03:47Where is she?
00:03:49Atlanta. And you were right.
00:03:51It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:03:53My clever bride.
00:03:55I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:04:02Max, prep the jet.
00:04:04I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:04:10Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move. He's headed to Atlanta.
00:04:14Atlanta? The game is afoot. I'm going.
00:04:17Wait, Dr. Wilson, the Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:04:20He can wait. I need to pick up my bride.
00:04:26Dr. Wilson!
00:04:33Gino Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:04:36Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta.
00:04:39Atlanta!
00:04:41Where is that?
00:04:43Warner, prepare my warplane!
00:04:45Don't sue going after my fiancée.
00:04:47This is war.
00:05:05I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper, to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project like you asked me to.
00:05:11Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:05:13This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:05:16That project is worth billions.
00:05:18He can finally take his company public.
00:05:20But Angela, my boss,
00:05:24I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing your true identity.
00:05:30Without your backing, no offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:05:35Well, three years ago...
00:05:57You saved me.
00:06:02He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:06:06I didn't want to reveal my true identity because I didn't want him to feel the pressure of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:06:13But now, with this contract, I feel like we'll be on more equal footing, and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:06:20So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:06:24I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:06:29But why work at the flea market?
00:06:31Are you disguising yourself to test him?
00:06:35Well, these exotic spices are incredibly rare and cost a fortune to find.
00:06:40Plus, I get to make the best dishes for my hubby and his mom.
00:06:44You seem happy being a housewife.
00:06:50Where the hell are you?
00:06:52Don't tell me you were selling junk at the flea market again.
00:06:55Get home, stat.
00:06:57It's a big day today.
00:07:00That was...
00:07:01My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:07:04She judges me because she thinks I come from a lower-class family.
00:07:07But she's going to be ecstatic tonight when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:07:13You know, she even remembered our third-year anniversary.
00:07:21Please spend more time with my son.
00:07:25Hi, I'm home.
00:07:27I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:07:29Finally, you're back.
00:07:31Now sign the divorce papers.
00:07:35Divorce papers?
00:07:38Is this some sort of misunderstanding, Mom?
00:07:41God, don't call me Mom again.
00:07:44We're ending that relationship.
00:07:46Just look at you.
00:07:47Dirt all over.
00:07:49You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:07:52You don't deserve my son.
00:07:53You're way below his league.
00:07:56I'm below his league?
00:07:58That's right.
00:07:59You are.
00:08:01Jared is signing a $100 billion contract tomorrow with the Ellen Musk.
00:08:07And then his company's going public.
00:08:10That's how much he's accomplished in three years.
00:08:12But you?
00:08:14You're still just a stinky, hippie peddler.
00:08:18Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:08:20And you?
00:08:21You will always just be a pawn.
00:08:25Like dirt on our shoes.
00:08:30Dirt on your shoes?
00:08:32But Ellen Musk works for me.
00:08:36You're delusional.
00:08:37You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:08:40How dare you compare yourself to the real deal here?
00:08:46Resorting to lies.
00:08:47Definitely not good enough for Jared.
00:08:49And who are you to come into my house and meddle with my family matters?
00:08:57You're nothing but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:09:02Jared deserves a queen like Kaylee.
00:09:05Not a lowlife dirtbag.
00:09:07Enough!
00:09:09Jared, I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:09:13But I am.
00:09:15Don't fight it, Angela.
00:09:17Here's 500K.
00:09:19You'll never make as much as a hippie peddler selling spices.
00:09:23Now sign the papers, take your check, and leave.
00:09:26Don't embarrass yourself further.
00:09:30I've done so much for you these past three years.
00:09:35Did that not mean anything to you?
00:09:38Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:09:41Fine.
00:09:42Here's another 200,000.
00:09:45500,000 is too much for her already.
00:09:47She's done nothing.
00:09:49Hasn't even contributed a grandchild.
00:09:52She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:09:55Is that really how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:09:59I took care of both of you these past three years.
00:10:03You think we can't just hire a maid to cook for us or something?
00:10:08And she wouldn't embarrass us with that permanent stench.
00:10:12A hippie peddler becoming the wife of a CEO?
00:10:16What a joke.
00:10:17If you actually love my son, you'll sign the damn divorce papers already.
00:10:23And leave!
00:10:26You really think that Jared would have gotten that Maple Plaza bid without me?
00:10:31Let alone taking the company public?
00:10:33I did everything for you, Jared.
00:10:37Now you take credit for my son's success?
00:10:43It's all my work!
00:10:47Baby, we're going to be late for the auction if we keep letting this psycho stall us.
00:10:55You did say you would win me Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:11:00So, she's the reason for the divorce.
00:11:04She's worth more than you, Angela.
00:11:08Fine.
00:11:09I'll sign it.
00:11:12But don't regret it.
00:11:15Regret?
00:11:17Do you know who I am?
00:11:19Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed?
00:11:23I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:11:27Jared winning the bid at Maple Plaza was because of my dad.
00:11:32Because he's business partners with Elon Musk.
00:11:36It's part of the power that I have as an elite.
00:11:41You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:11:44Social stratum matters.
00:11:47Yeah, social stratum does matter.
00:11:50And the Coopers are beneath me.
00:11:54And you really think Elon Musk would come to Atlanta if it weren't for me?
00:11:59Ha! You're delusional.
00:12:01Now sign the papers and scram!
00:12:05Ah!
00:12:07You owe me.
00:12:09You dirty bitch. You're sick of me.
00:12:12Ah!
00:12:18You hit me.
00:12:22Now sign the papers, take your check and get the fuck out!
00:12:36I don't need your penny money.
00:12:40We're finished.
00:12:42You don't want the money? That's your loss.
00:12:45Your check is just pennies to me.
00:12:48But I would like my ring back.
00:12:53But I would like my ring back.
00:13:04Have fun on your economy flight while I catch a ride on my private helicopter out of here.
00:13:15And I'm way out of your league.
00:13:22Isn't that the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:13:26It's worth tens of millions of dollars.
00:13:30Oh, it's probably just cheap glass.
00:13:33Something she found at the flea market.
00:13:35You're right. And she could never afford anything so expensive.
00:13:41Congrats, Jared Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:13:46Oh, my dad says there's going to be a secret big shot financial tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:13:53Bigger big shot than Elon Musk?
00:13:56Yeah. And nobody's met them, but I can introduce you.
00:14:00Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:14:17Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt, the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a meeting before the bidding.
00:14:23Vanderbilt?
00:14:24Yeah. He's actually CEO of one of our companies. Basically our employee.
00:14:28Oh, okay. I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow. It's fine.
00:14:31You're still going to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already divorced.
00:14:35That's exactly why I'm going.
00:14:47Angela Lockhart. I finally found you.
00:15:05Who is he?
00:15:07That? That's Devin Sterling.
00:15:10He's number one on Forbes 30 under 30 list, an early investor of crypto, CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:15:16Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:15:19And he's your fiancé.
00:15:22What? My fiancé?
00:15:26The one and only.
00:15:28So, after running away and leaving me single for three years, have you figured out how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:15:37Babe?
00:15:45That tiara looks perfect on you.
00:15:51What is she doing here?
00:15:57You skank. My son just divorced you yesterday and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:16:03Divorced?
00:16:06That's right. So, I guess this was never meant to be, Mr...
00:16:11Sterling. Devin Sterling.
00:16:15So she has to hide her marital status to find another man.
00:16:19Guess she's not just a forsaken woman. She's also a stinky, penniless whore.
00:16:26How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:16:30Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:16:33Do you know who I am?
00:16:36They don't know who you are.
00:16:39You hide it well.
00:16:41Next team. Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:46Teach these fools a lesson.
00:16:52Sir, you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta and then to New York.
00:16:56You forgot to bring the security team.
00:17:03Mind if I borrow your men?
00:17:10Toss these ill-mannered apes out.
00:17:13You bitch. I'll have my son teach you a real lesson.
00:17:23A kiss as a reward, my lady.
00:17:27No.
00:17:35Guest list is very distinguished tonight.
00:17:38You've got Bill Ford, Harvey Buffett, old money like me.
00:17:43Gentlemen, Harvey Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:17:46Pleased to meet you all. Your families all started empires after the Industrial Revolution. What an honor.
00:17:52I heard you secured the Maple Plaza project. It's worth billions of dollars. Congrats.
00:17:58You'll be next. Thank you.
00:18:00But we haven't received the contract yet. We deserve it.
00:18:03That's nothing. I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:18:06Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good relationship.
00:18:09So, I thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few strings.
00:18:13Thank you, Mr. Mandel.
00:18:15Now, we just have to impress Miss Musk's special guest of honor.
00:18:20I heard they're a very important and powerful guest.
00:18:23Even wealthier than Ellen Musk.
00:18:26Now, if we can just secure a position with this big shot, we can feast for generations.
00:18:35I'll do my best.
00:18:41Excuse me, second gentleman.
00:18:44What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:18:49How did a hobo like you sneak in here?
00:18:52Me? A hobo? How did a cheating scumbag like you sneak in here?
00:18:57You sleep your way in?
00:18:58I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't bother stalking me.
00:19:01Nothing will come of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:19:04Don't flatter yourself.
00:19:09This is your ex-husband?
00:19:13What, were you blindfolded when you married him?
00:19:15Who the hell is this?
00:19:17You were cheating on me?
00:19:30Son, you have to avenge me and Kaylee.
00:19:33That wicked ex-wife of yours hired some thugs and a gigolo to beat us up.
00:19:39They even took Kaylee's tiara.
00:19:53You dare hurt my mom and Kaylee?
00:19:58Get your hands off of her.
00:20:04Goodbye, lady.
00:20:20I agree.
00:20:32It's him.
00:20:34He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday.
00:20:38Who are these peasants?
00:20:39These seats are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk, and her special guest.
00:20:44Oh, shut up, old man.
00:20:47You're disturbing the peace.
00:20:51You fuckers, you know who that is?
00:20:53That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:20:55You have any idea how many generations of wealth he has?
00:20:58His ancestors built the railway and steamship empire of America.
00:21:02This civil war would not have been won without his family's involvement.
00:21:06Vanderbilt.
00:21:08The father of that skank, Kaylee Vanderbilt,
00:21:12who only knows how to crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:21:17That only Vanderbilt family?
00:21:26God damn it, a stomachache now?
00:21:32Whatever.
00:21:34Angela can handle herself.
00:21:35She'll be fine.
00:21:48How dare you call one of us low?
00:21:51I'm Harvey F. M. Buffett, the most important investor in the entire stock market.
00:21:56I can wipe you out with a simple pinky only.
00:22:01And I can wipe you out with just a strand of my hair.
00:22:05Not with me around.
00:22:07I, Bill Ford, and the entire Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:22:12You're all just peasants compared to who I really am.
00:22:17You're fucking delusional, Angela.
00:22:19We've had enough of your games.
00:22:21Security, break their limbs and toss them out.
00:22:25Looks like the old guard's teaming up against you.
00:22:28But don't worry, you got new money here.
00:22:33I can handle myself, thank you.
00:22:35Yes, my queen.
00:22:38You're all despicable.
00:22:41An insult to your family names.
00:22:45Now, it's my turn to rule.
00:22:49Destroy Jared Cooper.
00:22:52Cut off all business ties.
00:22:54And if you don't, I will take away all of your family's wealth and power.
00:23:02I knew it.
00:23:03You're here to fuck with me.
00:23:05You can't fool anyone here.
00:23:07How much money did you spend on that getup to hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:23:11You're an orphan who sells hippie spices at a flea market.
00:23:15You have nothing, and you will always be nothing.
00:23:19She's a gold digger.
00:23:22Gold digger.
00:23:23Gigolo.
00:23:25Wanna try me for a minute?
00:23:28Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:23:30Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here any longer.
00:23:33They might upset Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:23:36Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:23:38I'm only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:23:41I'm gonna kill that sushi chef.
00:23:43Security.
00:23:49Security.
00:23:51You all don't realize that you actually all work for me.
00:23:54And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:23:57You.
00:23:59Insolent fools.
00:24:01Let me guess.
00:24:02You're that special guest?
00:24:05I don't know.
00:24:07I'm out.
00:24:08And not without some broken bones, too.
00:24:17Infected ass.
00:24:22I got this.
00:24:37What the hell are you two doing here?
00:24:51I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:24:53No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:24:56Oh my god, we're so screwed.
00:25:00Angela!
00:25:01Don't hurt her.
00:25:02You bitch.
00:25:03I've always been sick of you.
00:25:04You just threw yourself at me.
00:25:05How dare you insult my boss like that?
00:25:06Boss?
00:25:07Did she say her boss?
00:25:08Miss Musk?
00:25:09That's Ellen Musk?
00:25:10That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:25:11My boss and sole heiress to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:25:12I'm gonna kill her.
00:25:13Angela!
00:25:14Angela!
00:25:15Angela!
00:25:16Angela!
00:25:17Angela!
00:25:18Angela!
00:25:19Angela!
00:25:21Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:25:22Past the American Revolution?
00:25:23Back to the Renaissance.
00:25:24If she's your boss, then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:25:25That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:25:26She's royalty.
00:25:27And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:25:28What the hell are you doing?
00:25:29Kneel before me.
00:25:30I'm gonna kill her.
00:25:31Angela!
00:25:32Angela!
00:25:33Angela!
00:25:34Angela!
00:25:35Angela!
00:25:36Angela!
00:25:37Angela!
00:25:38Angela!
00:25:39Angela!
00:25:40Angela!
00:25:41Angela!
00:25:42Angela!
00:25:43Angela!
00:25:44Angela!
00:25:45Angela!
00:25:46Angela!
00:25:47Angela!
00:25:48Angela!
00:25:49Angela!
00:25:50Angela!
00:25:51Angela!
00:25:52Angela!
00:25:53Angela!
00:25:54Angela!
00:25:55Angela!
00:25:56Angela!
00:25:57Angela!
00:25:58Angela!
00:25:59Angela!
00:26:00Angela!
00:26:01Angela!
00:26:02Angela!
00:26:03Angela!
00:26:04Angela!
00:26:05Angela!
00:26:06Angela!
00:26:07Angela!
00:26:08Angela!
00:26:09Angela!
00:26:10Angela!
00:26:11Angela!
00:26:12Angela!
00:26:13Angela!
00:26:14Angela!
00:26:15Angela!
00:26:16Angela!
00:26:17Angela!
00:26:18Angela!
00:26:19Angela!
00:26:20Angela!
00:26:21Angela!
00:26:22Angela!
00:26:23Angela!
00:26:24Angela!
00:26:25Angela!
00:26:26What rightfully belongs to you.
00:26:44She's a badass herself.
00:26:46I missed out on a good wife.
00:26:48You, you, you told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:26:52Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag
00:26:54this entire time.
00:26:55No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:26:57I worked hard for everything.
00:26:59You worked for everything?
00:27:06Hi, honey.
00:27:08So, our 30th anniversary is coming up
00:27:10and I thought that maybe we can do
00:27:12something special this year.
00:27:13I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:27:15I have to figure out this bid for the Maple Plaza project
00:27:18and if I get it, I can take the company public.
00:27:29You were nothing before me.
00:27:32All your achievements, all your glory,
00:27:35that's all mine, including the Maple Plaza contract.
00:27:40I can take all of that away just like that.
00:27:44No, you can't take that away from me.
00:27:46That's why Elon Musk was urging us
00:27:48to pass on deals to this nobody.
00:27:50Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:27:54Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:27:56It was Queen Victoria's and it's worth is equivalent
00:27:58to more than an entire country's GDP.
00:28:06No, I gave you back the ring.
00:28:09I divorced a royal heiress.
00:28:12No, no, please, no, no, please take me back, baby.
00:28:17I still love you.
00:28:22Oh, man, it looks like they've started the party without us.
00:28:25No one's allowed to start a fight without Cole Eisenhower.
00:28:34God, these two again.
00:28:35Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:28:39President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:28:40After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:28:43each of his descendants have all gone on
00:28:44to become five-star generals,
00:28:46the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:28:48Bloody buffoons know your history.
00:28:50Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:28:51I got lost trying to find Atlanta,
00:28:53then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:28:59And that there is,
00:29:01that is the legendary boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:29:05He's Dr. House's protege.
00:29:07Dr. House?
00:29:08I thought that was just a TV show.
00:29:10No, no, that's based on a real figure.
00:29:12Yep, that's me.
00:29:13Son of James House.
00:29:15Dr. House, he's practically my uncle.
00:29:17I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:29:19when I was just 12 years old.
00:29:21So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:29:24somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 years.
00:29:27And I'm late because I ran out of gum
00:29:29and had to make a pit stop.
00:29:35Hey, Ellen, who are these weirdos and why are they here?
00:29:39They're all your fiancés.
00:29:42What?
00:29:44Fiancés?
00:29:46Plural?
00:29:47Fiancés?
00:29:48Plural?
00:29:50Watch it, nerds.
00:29:52I'm her fiancé.
00:29:53No, I'm her fiancé.
00:29:55You can both shut up.
00:29:56I'm her fiancé.
00:29:58It's you.
00:29:59It's me.
00:30:00Who the hell is he?
00:30:01I'm Spider-Man.
00:30:03How are all three of these men my fiancé?
00:30:08Your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:30:11but I didn't tell you
00:30:12because you decided to marry Jared Cooper at the time.
00:30:16She has three badass fiancés and she marries his dumb ass.
00:30:22Whatever.
00:30:23Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:28Since you're all here, help me finish him.
00:30:34At your service.
00:30:35Me too.
00:30:39Oh!
00:30:41One down, two more to go.
00:30:43She's become queen.
00:30:44Bishop to G4.
00:30:49Ow!
00:30:50Ow!
00:30:51Ow!
00:30:52What the hell is that?
00:30:53The most German fest and water in the Nile River.
00:30:56Ah!
00:30:59Rook to A8.
00:31:06Hello?
00:31:09I thought I was king.
00:31:10No, you wish.
00:31:12The king doesn't do anything, so Alan can be my king.
00:31:15Oh, fine.
00:31:20Bankrupt to four, it's right this second.
00:31:27I...
00:31:29I've been bankrupt!
00:31:31No!
00:31:33Who is this?
00:31:39I've been bankrupt!
00:31:41No!
00:31:42I told you I would remove all of you
00:31:44from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:31:47Well, guess what?
00:31:48Game over.
00:31:49All right, boys.
00:31:50Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:31:53Oh, that's serious business.
00:31:55I'm right with you.
00:31:57Wait for me.
00:31:58Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:32:09Angela!
00:32:13You already have three fiancés?
00:32:16You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:32:18I want compensation.
00:32:22You greedy SOB.
00:32:25Who the fuck is that?
00:32:26My ex-husband.
00:32:27Wait, you were married?
00:32:29Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:32:32then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:32:34More for me.
00:32:35No, no, of course not.
00:32:36Just...
00:32:38Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:32:40Don't steal my joke.
00:32:42I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:32:43All I need is to have your password for the computer.
00:32:47What? Is there something on my face?
00:32:49Yeah.
00:32:50Murderous intent.
00:32:52Let's remarry.
00:32:54Let's remarry.
00:32:56You still don't realise.
00:32:59I only fell in love with you
00:33:00because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:33:07Fuck you.
00:33:29Sir, it's an emergency.
00:33:31We need to recuperate right now.
00:33:32Nicole, Eisenhower and Cheng Wilson
00:33:34are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:33:36Okay, I'm on my way.
00:33:40She should be okay now.
00:33:45Hey, you!
00:33:47Watch over her. I'll be right back.
00:33:57You saved me.
00:34:01Fuck.
00:34:02I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:06Fuck.
00:34:07I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:34:09You've cheated on me.
00:34:11You've hit me.
00:34:12You've insulted me.
00:34:14And after all that,
00:34:16I never want to see you again.
00:34:18I fucking hate you.
00:34:21The Lady Lockhart.
00:34:23God, what now?
00:34:25Okay, yes.
00:34:27We understand that you are a very busy person,
00:34:30but if you're not going to give your ex-husband
00:34:32the Maple Plaza project...
00:34:34How about us three?
00:34:35Yes, unlike that scumbag,
00:34:37we won't turn on you.
00:34:39Yeah, no.
00:34:40You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:34:42But...
00:34:44This is your fault, you doofus.
00:34:46We never should have believed your bullshit.
00:34:48No.
00:34:49No.
00:34:51We can't lose our positions
00:34:53with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:34:55Our family.
00:34:57I'll get you for this.
00:34:59I'll get you for this.
00:35:05I never should have listened to you.
00:35:07I'm ruined because of you.
00:35:22So...
00:35:23What's the situation here?
00:35:25I want to listen to you.
00:35:29I want to listen to you.
00:35:35I want to listen to you.
00:35:38Listen.
00:35:40I only met you guys a few hours ago,
00:35:42and I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:35:45But what if I told you
00:35:48that we've known each other for much longer
00:35:50than just a few hours?
00:35:52Much longer.
00:35:56Angela?
00:35:57My parents would like to have a video call
00:35:59with all of you.
00:36:04My lovely princess, how are you?
00:36:07Look, your mother and I are in Italy.
00:36:09The views here are absolutely stunning.
00:36:12Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:36:14I heard you finally divorced
00:36:17that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking,
00:36:19freeloader husband of yours.
00:36:22Can't call his name, but...
00:36:24Anyway, congratulations.
00:36:26I have selected three prime young men
00:36:29for you to choose from to replace him.
00:36:31Oh, you must pick one of them to marry.
00:36:34Otherwise...
00:36:35Let me do it.
00:36:37You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:36:40Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:36:44Mom?
00:36:45All right, honey, that's it.
00:36:47Bye. Bye.
00:36:53So, who are we going to choose?
00:36:57Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:02Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:37:07That seems greedy.
00:37:14But I can always remove the other two options.
00:37:19Hey, I may be a doctor,
00:37:22but I can take lives, too.
00:37:24I know and have access
00:37:26to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:37:28Whoa, okay.
00:37:29No murder, please.
00:37:31I was just kidding.
00:37:34You have seven days to win her over.
00:37:36Ooh.
00:37:37It's like The Bachelorette.
00:37:39I know.
00:37:41We'll start with challenge one.
00:37:44Welcome to the show,
00:37:46The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:37:48Today, we have our first challenge.
00:37:52What is all of this, Ellen?
00:37:56You'll see.
00:38:05Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
00:38:06Cockroaches!
00:38:08All women are afraid of cockroaches,
00:38:10and it is every man's job
00:38:12to save their beloved woman
00:38:14from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:38:16What will our three candidates do
00:38:18to prove their undying love
00:38:20for our single,
00:38:22but screaming-her-head-off heiress?
00:38:31Looks like one of our contestants
00:38:33has already called it quits.
00:38:35It's up to the final two.
00:38:51It's crunchy.
00:38:53That is sick cold.
00:38:55Hey, when you're stranded
00:38:57in the middle of the battlefield,
00:38:59you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:39:01There are two more left.
00:39:03Want to try one?
00:39:05Oh, my God, no. No.
00:39:07Oh, my God, save me.
00:39:09Save you? You're going to save me.
00:39:11Aah!
00:39:13Aah!
00:39:15Aah!
00:39:17Aah!
00:39:20I'm a German folk doctor.
00:39:22These hands can't get germs on them.
00:39:24They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:39:41Thank God you're here.
00:39:45Are you all right, honey?
00:39:47Angela.
00:39:51All right, you won the first challenge,
00:39:53so you're a reward.
00:39:55You get to watch over her for the night.
00:39:57Just don't cross the line,
00:39:59if you know what I mean.
00:40:01I'm not her scumbag husband.
00:40:03You have nothing to worry about.
00:40:08Honestly, even if you guys fuck,
00:40:10it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:40:12At least my girl can get some.
00:40:14I bet her husband has a small dick anyway.
00:40:18The cockroaches.
00:40:20They're gone, they're gone.
00:40:22There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:40:24I'm going to kill Ellen
00:40:26when I see her tomorrow.
00:40:31I need a drink.
00:40:40Whoa, easy.
00:40:42You're on an empty stomach.
00:40:44Oh, why do you care?
00:40:46I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:40:51You guys were right.
00:40:53I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:40:56You know,
00:40:58I wasted three whole years
00:41:00of my life with him.
00:41:02He never even loved me.
00:41:04And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:41:11Do you really think that you would still be number one
00:41:13on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:41:17You may not be number one
00:41:19on Forbes list,
00:41:21but you know what you're number one in?
00:41:23What?
00:41:27You're number one here.
00:41:35You know,
00:41:37we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:41:39Lies.
00:41:41You all just want something from me.
00:41:47Angela,
00:41:49I know it's hard to trust again.
00:41:52But I assure you,
00:41:54I don't care
00:41:56what family you're from.
00:41:59I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:42:01I don't need your power,
00:42:03your status, your wealth,
00:42:05your connections.
00:42:08I just need you.
00:42:12I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:42:16I promise.
00:42:28Screw the contest.
00:42:30I just want love.
00:42:33Angela!
00:42:35You're drunk.
00:42:37I'm an adult. Can't a girl just get what she wants?
00:42:40It's okay.
00:42:43But love and sex
00:42:45aren't exactly the same thing.
00:42:48Oh, they're not
00:42:50mutually exclusive either.
00:43:00This is what you want.
00:43:13Oh.
00:43:29Nine-inch penis.
00:43:31Morning to you, too.
00:43:33You sure you were drunk last night?
00:43:35You wouldn't, uh...
00:43:37A girl remembers when she's had a
00:43:39nine-inch penis inside of her.
00:43:41Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:43:44But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:43:47Because then they would...
00:43:49Say that you were being unfair?
00:43:51Technically, us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:43:54I won the first challenge,
00:43:56and according to Ellen,
00:43:58my prize was to spend a night with you anyways.
00:44:01Don't make this any harder
00:44:03than it already is.
00:44:07You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:44:11Stop.
00:44:14Fine, fine, fine.
00:44:18I won't tell.
00:44:21But only on one condition.
00:44:24I won't tell.
00:44:27But only on one condition.
00:44:29You have to go out on a date with me.
00:44:32Fine.
00:44:37I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:44:40You never noticed me.
00:44:46You should get dressed and get out of here
00:44:48before anyone sees you.
00:44:51It's only 7 a.m.
00:44:53She's still sleeping.
00:44:54I'm not sleeping alone.
00:44:55Yeah, I'm not letting my fiancé be alone
00:44:57with another man for another second.
00:45:01Morning, gentlemen.
00:45:03Or shall I say roughmen?
00:45:05Oh, don't mind him.
00:45:08What's up, guys?
00:45:10We're ready for the second challenge.
00:45:12No cockroaches this time.
00:45:14Yes, no more terrifying things.
00:45:16That was my bad, Angela.
00:45:18This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:45:20I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:45:22The second challenge is...
00:45:24The second challenge is...
00:45:26a date.
00:45:27Lame.
00:45:28I should have asked for something else.
00:45:29A date?
00:45:31That's it.
00:45:32What's the catch?
00:45:33No catch.
00:45:34Just who does Miss Lockhart enjoy
00:45:36spending her time with the most?
00:45:37As simple as that.
00:45:38I know what I want to do.
00:45:39Let's start with me first.
00:45:40Okay, who's up first?
00:45:41Then...
00:45:42Me.
00:45:43Save the best for last.
00:45:45Ain't that right, Angela?
00:45:47Then it's decided.
00:45:51Please, don't take my BMW away.
00:45:54Too bad.
00:45:56You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:45:58I have nothing left.
00:46:05It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:11It's that bitch who ruined me.
00:46:21General Eisenhower, sir!
00:46:23At ease, Lieutenant.
00:46:25This is my lieutenant.
00:46:26He also manages this boxing gym.
00:46:28Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower.
00:46:30He's so serious.
00:46:32But hang on.
00:46:34Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:46:37Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date
00:46:40so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:46:42Guns, like murder weapons?
00:46:45Yes.
00:46:46Murder weapons.
00:47:03I like my guns, babe.
00:47:05Pretty Lockhart.
00:47:06Yeah.
00:47:08Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:47:10Lieutenant!
00:47:12Come close.
00:47:14Wait, you're just going to hit him like that?
00:47:16He's not even going to fight back?
00:47:17Fighting back would be treason, ma'am.
00:47:19Treason?
00:47:20You guys are way too serious.
00:47:23Look, you Lockhart bitch, I caught you.
00:47:25If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:47:28You Lockhart bitch, I caught you.
00:47:30If I'm going down, you're all going down with me.
00:47:33Lieutenant, pincer attack.
00:47:47You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:47:52I will make you pay.
00:47:55You don't need to keep beating him up.
00:47:57Take him to the cops.
00:47:58Not when he tries to hurt you.
00:48:06Zoe's a bit violent.
00:48:08Some might call it being protective.
00:48:10Poor anger issues.
00:48:12What if we get married and I forget to use a coaster
00:48:14on an antique table or something?
00:48:16Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:48:19Hey, some girls are into that.
00:48:21I don't know if I am.
00:48:25Well, maybe Shane will be your type.
00:48:30Your date with Shane starts now.
00:48:36Hey.
00:48:38Cool ride.
00:48:40A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:48:43Impressive.
00:48:47Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:48:50Refreshing.
00:48:52I like cool mint, too.
00:48:54Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:48:57What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:49:00Fruit-flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:49:03So, where are you taking me to?
00:49:05Let me show you.
00:49:13Dr. Wilson!
00:49:15A VIP of VIPs.
00:49:17Right this way.
00:49:18VIP of VIPs.
00:49:20Some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:49:23You saved a lot of people.
00:49:25I do what I can.
00:49:27Oh, my gosh.
00:49:29It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:49:33Sandra Miller.
00:49:35What are you doing here?
00:49:36I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:49:39Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce
00:49:41and how you hired some gigolo to beat her
00:49:43and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:49:46How low of you.
00:49:48What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:49:50Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:49:52I sell high-fashion jewelry pieces so high-end,
00:49:55you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:49:58The auction begins.
00:50:01I'll deal with you later.
00:50:04Here, I'll just be right beside you.
00:50:10Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:50:14Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:50:18Cleopatra's armband,
00:50:20sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller,
00:50:24for $5 million.
00:50:27Excuse me.
00:50:29I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:31It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:34I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:50:36It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:50:38What are you doing?
00:50:40Just watch.
00:50:42Come on.
00:50:47That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:50:50Please, I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:50:53She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:50:56You work at a flea market? Not this again.
00:50:59Cut the bullshit, that wouldn't even sell for $5.
00:51:02Oh, yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:51:05Ew, I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:51:10Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:51:14What are you talking about?
00:51:16Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:51:18Throw them out.
00:51:20Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine,
00:51:23but we're professionals.
00:51:25Oh, yeah?
00:51:27And that armband sells for $5 million?
00:51:30Yeah, mine is the real thing.
00:51:33You two are just upset because you're too poor
00:51:36to afford our luxury items.
00:51:38Why is that so?
00:51:40When a so-called expert fell to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then?
00:51:44Dear Lord, this is real.
00:51:48It's authentic. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:55Karen, what have you found?
00:51:58Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me?
00:52:01It's a replica.
00:52:03They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:52:06So...
00:52:08you are the fraud.
00:52:10You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:52:13And, Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:52:17$150.
00:52:19Wow. Not even $5.
00:52:21Sandra.
00:52:23You've been duping us the whole time?
00:52:26Arrest her!
00:52:28No! Please! It was just this one time!
00:52:31Please!
00:52:32What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:52:34Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:52:38A lackluster from the jewelry industry forever.
00:52:50I had a really great time tonight.
00:52:52Me too.
00:52:54May I have a kiss?
00:53:05Hmm.
00:53:07Something wrong?
00:53:09Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:53:17Yep. You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:53:28Oh.
00:53:30You.
00:53:33You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:53:37I don't have any money.
00:53:39How did you pay for this hotel, then?
00:53:42I guess you'll only pay up...
00:53:46if I break your other leg.
00:53:48Stop!
00:53:53Mr. Vanderbilt.
00:53:57Mr. Buffett.
00:54:02This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:54:04That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:54:08I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:11I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:54:13No, no, sir. Sorry about those injuries from earlier.
00:54:16It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:54:19Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:54:23And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:54:28Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit.
00:54:31She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:54:33Yeah. Do you need any help winning her back?
00:54:36We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:54:38I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago,
00:54:41and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:54:44It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:54:47Sure. I'll put in a good word for you.
00:54:51I just need...
00:54:52Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:54:55Once I take everything from these idiots,
00:54:58I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:55:07I'll give him the contract that you have recouped, just like you asked me to.
00:55:10Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:14Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:55:17I don't get it, Miss Musk.
00:55:18That contract has a preliminary clause.
00:55:20It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:55:24And if he can't, then what?
00:55:26He'll be bankrupt.
00:55:27So as long as his greedy have to take it.
00:55:31I'm avenging my best friend.
00:55:33I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:55:43I signed the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:46We should celebrate.
00:55:47You did?
00:55:48You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:55:51That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:55:54And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:55:57Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:56:02What?
00:56:04You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:56:06Oh, no, no, no. He's not.
00:56:08Jared, what are you doing?
00:56:10You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:56:14It's my decision, Mom. I'm the head of the house here.
00:56:18I'm telling my dad.
00:56:20Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:56:22If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece.
00:56:25But if not, you can scram.
00:56:28Dad, Jared is being mean to me. Teach him a lesson.
00:56:32Kaylee, be a good girl, okay?
00:56:34Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:56:38Don't get on his bad side.
00:56:40We can't afford to piss him off.
00:56:42So do as he says.
00:56:44But Dad...
00:56:53I'm sorry.
00:56:55I'll be your side piece.
00:56:57Very good. I'm happy you've come around.
00:57:00Now let's go celebrate.
00:57:04I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:57:09But that tongue action, though.
00:57:11Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:57:14Ellen, we are in public.
00:57:15It's true.
00:57:17Oh, stomachache.
00:57:19Again?
00:57:20Let's run to the bathroom.
00:57:21Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:57:25Devin's late.
00:57:27Not a good sign for a date.
00:57:31This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:57:36It's her.
00:57:37And she's alone. With no one to save her.
00:57:42You whore. You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:57:46Let me tell you.
00:57:48I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:57:56Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:57:59Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:58:02Plus, why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:58:05Because I have money and you don't.
00:58:08You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:10And you don't.
00:58:11You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:58:13And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:58:17He still got the contract?
00:58:19Hmm.
00:58:20Must be Ellen's doing.
00:58:22Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:58:26Oh, he's just gonna...
00:58:28Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:32Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:58:36You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
00:58:42My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
00:58:45$1,000 to take her away.
00:58:48$2,000 to drag her away.
00:58:51$5,000 to beat her away.
00:58:56Oh, hey!
00:58:58Hey!
00:58:59Ow!
00:59:02You okay?
00:59:03You okay?
00:59:04Are you hurt?
00:59:09Weakling.
00:59:10You!
00:59:11You, just a few days ago, you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
00:59:15And now you have two more?
00:59:17What a whore.
00:59:19What a whore.
00:59:20Yeah.
00:59:21And Jared wanted to get back with her?
00:59:23What if she has an STD?
00:59:25Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
00:59:29Let's go.
00:59:30We'll expose her to Jared.
00:59:32Hang on.
00:59:34What do you want?
00:59:35I'll scream!
00:59:37I don't hate women.
00:59:38But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:42But I never said I don't kill women.
00:59:44I said I don't kill women.
00:59:47Oh, God.
00:59:48He is a murderer.
00:59:49What if he murders me?
00:59:51Not him.
00:59:52Definitely not him.
00:59:57We're not afraid of you.
00:59:59That's enough.
01:00:00This isn't a war zone.
01:00:01You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:00:06I was just messing with him.
01:00:08Was he, though?
01:00:09We're not afraid of you.
01:00:12Jared!
01:00:13You have to avenge us.
01:00:14Look at this slut.
01:00:15She's found two more boy toys.
01:00:17She's cheating on you.
01:00:18Don't get back with her.
01:00:19Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you.
01:00:21I apologize for this scene.
01:00:23I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:00:27What did you say?
01:00:28You were going to toss out?
01:00:29What did you say?
01:00:30You were going to toss out?
01:00:31What did you say?
01:00:32You were going to toss out?
01:00:33The potty crashes.
01:00:37Do you have any idea who that is?
01:00:39That's my wife.
01:00:40We saved that hangout from the real skank over there.
01:00:43That's right.
01:00:44Know your place.
01:00:45Shut up.
01:00:46She's cheating on you.
01:00:50Know your place.
01:00:51You're just a side piece if I still want you, that is.
01:00:54Eric, have you gone mad?
01:00:56This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:00:58You slap her for this whore?
01:01:00Mom!
01:01:01You really think there's something, huh?
01:01:03Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:01:07She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:01:10I only got the Maple Plaza project because she gave it to me.
01:01:14What?
01:01:16You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:01:26I'm sorry.
01:01:28No.
01:01:29This can't be.
01:01:31I made you divorce...
01:01:36Go home.
01:01:38You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:01:46I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:01:49Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:01:53I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:01:56I didn't come here for you.
01:01:58I'm on a date.
01:02:00A date with two men at the same time?
01:02:04She really is a whore.
01:02:05Angela, please forgive me.
01:02:07I really do love you.
01:02:11Oh-ho!
01:02:12Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:15Oh-ho!
01:02:16Lady Lockhart is here!
01:02:20We already know you beat Ford's ass up.
01:02:23We're too old for that.
01:02:25They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:02:27Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:02:33Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart.
01:02:35Join us.
01:02:36We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:02:39What the hell are you all doing here?
01:02:41Where were you?
01:02:43Stomach issues.
01:02:45Again?
01:02:46Would you like my diagnosis?
01:02:48No.
01:02:50Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:02:53I would rather die than be with you again.
01:02:57Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:03:01I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:03:03Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:03:05Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance.
01:03:07I'll prove it to you.
01:03:09You want a chance?
01:03:11Angela, no.
01:03:12You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:03:15Don't take him back.
01:03:18I'll give you two choices.
01:03:21I'll give you two choices.
01:03:25Me or the contract.
01:03:28You're kidding me.
01:03:30No, I'm not kidding you.
01:03:33If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:03:37But you don't get the $100 billion contract.
01:03:40The choice is all yours.
01:03:42You guys are so stupid.
01:03:45You think so?
01:03:46He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:03:50Either way, he benefits.
01:03:52Why can't I have both?
01:03:54You really are a greedy bastard.
01:03:56Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember?
01:03:59I deserve the contract.
01:04:01Did you really?
01:04:06Look who's fashionably late now.
01:04:09He didn't save her at the pool.
01:04:12What are you talking about?
01:04:14I choose the contract.
01:04:16I knew it.
01:04:18You'll get what's coming to you.
01:04:21With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:04:25Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone.
01:04:28I will get you one day.
01:04:30Let me show you something.
01:04:32You saved me.
01:04:49You saved me.
01:04:51I'm sorry.
01:04:53If his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:04:58But I promise you.
01:05:00I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:05:02No, no.
01:05:03I wasn't lying.
01:05:04I just couldn't, can't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:05:15Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:05:19What?
01:05:20Me?
01:05:21Dr. Wilson losing at saving people?
01:05:24No way.
01:05:25You guys, one of you, do something life threatening right now.
01:05:29You're crazy.
01:05:31And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:05:36What?
01:05:38Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:05:42Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:05:45Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:05:49I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:05:51Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry.
01:05:54I should have had third party accountants check thoroughly.
01:05:57No, it's not your fault.
01:05:58They're just too slick.
01:06:00You like me to punish them for you?
01:06:02Oh God, no.
01:06:03Not that again.
01:06:04Please.
01:06:05Max, you know what to do.
01:06:21The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:06:23All business ties have been severed.
01:06:25We're bankrupt.
01:06:31How did you do that?
01:06:33Who are you?
01:06:34And don't say Spider-Man.
01:06:38I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:06:45I am...
01:06:47Crypto Punk number two.
01:06:49What did he say he was?
01:06:51That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:06:53Spider-Man.
01:06:55You're Crypto Punk number two?
01:06:57Well, I'm Crypto Punk number one.
01:07:00See?
01:07:01You are number one at something.
01:07:02The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:07:05Forget Forbes' list.
01:07:07It's all about young money now.
01:07:09So, how about our date?
01:07:17I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:07:20I'll spy too.
01:07:24Ugh!
01:07:33They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:07:36I still have the $100 billion project.
01:07:40Yes!
01:07:41I'm rich!
01:07:43I can make them all pay soon!
01:07:51What?
01:07:52Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:07:53The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:07:58Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:08:02No!
01:08:04I'm bankrupt!
01:08:07I need a little lock card.
01:08:08You tricked me!
01:08:15Allow me.
01:08:19I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:08:21I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:08:27Well, cheers.
01:08:29Cheers.
01:08:39This looks good.
01:08:45Did you use my spices?
01:08:47I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:08:51You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:08:59I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:09:05Angela.
01:09:07Your future with me...
01:09:11is gonna be different.
01:09:13Come on.
01:09:15Upstairs.
01:09:21Come on.
01:09:34Wow.
01:09:36Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years.
01:09:41Just because of some silly mistake.
01:09:44Angela.
01:09:46I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:09:49Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:09:53That's right.
01:09:54I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:09:57How is all of this possible?
01:09:59I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:10:03Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:10:07I've had a crush on you since college.
01:10:10You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:10:14Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:10:20Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:10:28All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin and shit like that.
01:10:36Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:10:40I'll teach you a lesson.
01:10:43Hey! Get away from him!
01:10:45Angela!
01:10:47Feisty girl. I like her.
01:11:00How is he?
01:11:01It's a rare poison, made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:11:05All sugar, salt teeth.
01:11:07Can it be cured?
01:11:08I actually think I know that poison.
01:11:10It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:11:14Household salt.
01:11:23I like her.
01:11:26There you go.
01:11:28Time is up.
01:11:31Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:11:40I like her.
01:11:41I like her.
01:11:43We have been rivals ever since.
01:11:45So, that's how I, well, we all met.
01:11:50I barely remember.
01:11:52I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:11:55Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:12:00You wouldn't have known.
01:12:01I did hear you dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:12:03That makes you feel better.
01:12:05Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:12:07Yeah.
01:12:08Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:12:11Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:12:21How can that be?
01:12:23Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:12:30Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:12:34Bankrupt?
01:12:35The Vanderbilts have gone bankrupt?
01:12:38Well, then, get out of here.
01:12:41You can't do this to me.
01:12:46Jared.
01:12:47Mom, it's me.
01:12:48What happened?
01:12:50Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:12:53Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:12:55You should get back with your wife.
01:12:57We're bankrupt.
01:12:58What?
01:13:02Jared Cooper.
01:13:06We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:13:09No one is going to save you now.
01:13:16What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:13:23Who will you pick?
01:13:27I...
01:13:33I brought you fried chicken.
01:13:34Fried chicken?
01:13:35Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:13:37Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:13:40Sucking up last minute.
01:13:42At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:13:45Hey, stop. Stop.
01:13:48Welcome back to the Bachelorette.
01:13:51I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:13:54I mean, Angela Lockhart, you know what I mean.
01:13:59Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:14:06Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:14:10Cole, the general?
01:14:14Or Devin, the CEO?
01:14:20Looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:14:24Oh, the suspense is killing me.
01:14:27But when she does, she will take this eternal rose made from glass imported from Venice and give it to our winner.
01:14:35Angela.
01:14:38Angela.
01:14:40Oh, I...
01:14:43I need more time to think.
01:14:49While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide, why don't we check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:55Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:14:58Let's start with Cole.
01:15:00Cole.
01:15:04There's not much to say.
01:15:06Who wouldn't want a five-star general who has huge biceps, a massive chest, who would protect their wife?
01:15:17Okay, thank you.
01:15:19Uh, Shane?
01:15:22Muscles, money, they won't get you so far.
01:15:27But you need a well-balanced man like me that has more than one way to keep a lady happy, if you know what I mean.
01:15:36Okay, I think we do. And Devin?
01:15:41That was quite disgusting.
01:15:45I just hope Angela's okay.
01:15:47I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:15:50A lot of choices to make.
01:15:52And she's my queen.
01:15:54I just really hope she's okay.
01:15:56And one more thing.
01:15:58What kind of a doctor brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:16:03That's a good point.
01:16:04It's bad for her heart.
01:16:07And then you!
01:16:08Well, you know what they say about military men.
01:16:12They beat their wives.
01:16:16No!
01:16:18Stand up!
01:16:20Hey, you guys.
01:16:23Whoa, break it up!
01:16:25Hey!
01:16:26Break it up!
01:16:32That's a commercial!
01:16:33That's a commercial!
01:16:46Oh my gosh.
01:16:52This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my entire life.
01:16:57Who do I choose?
01:17:06Angela's marrying me.
01:17:08But not stealing her from me.
01:17:09Oh yeah?
01:17:11I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:17:13I may be a doctor, but like I said,
01:17:15I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:17:21What don't you have in that coat?
01:17:23Fruit flavored gum.
01:17:24I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:17:26I'll fight you to the death.
01:17:28Don't forget about me.
01:17:30It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:17:36These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:17:39They do not. They do not help.
01:17:41Who made these?
01:18:01It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:18:06I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:18:09And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:18:28We may have to work together to take him down.
01:18:39This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:18:43I may not be able to take them both down if they decide to team up.
01:18:46Hmm.
01:18:47Wintermate or Coolmate?
01:18:54You know,
01:18:55You know,
01:18:56I've always really liked your hair.
01:18:57Really?
01:18:59I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:19:02So I appreciate that.
01:19:05Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:07Hey, hey, hey.
01:19:08And you know,
01:19:09Cool,
01:19:10I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:19:13Really?
01:19:14Yeah.
01:19:17What do you got for me?
01:19:19I've always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:19:22Yeah?
01:19:23Yeah.
01:19:24That's fresh, right?
01:19:28You know, you're actually a really good talker.
01:19:32You need me to look at you?
01:19:33I got you.
01:19:34I'll take care of you.
01:19:36Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:38Angela's been kidnapped.
01:19:40It was Jared Cooper.
01:19:42That fucker.
01:19:43We have to find her.
01:19:44What, how?
01:19:45Her ring.
01:19:46Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring just in case.
01:19:49Well, let's go then.
01:19:51My phone.
01:19:52My fiance.
01:19:53My fiance.
01:19:59Jared.
01:20:00Jared.
01:20:04What am I doing here?
01:20:06You destroyed me.
01:20:10And you took everything.
01:20:12What?
01:20:13I have nothing left.
01:20:16It's not my fault you're greedy.
01:20:19Is it greedy to have sex with my wife?
01:20:22What?
01:20:23I'm not your wife anymore.
01:20:25Yeah, I know.
01:20:26You wouldn't take me back now,
01:20:27not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:20:29This is illegal.
01:20:30You wouldn't want your child to be away from his father.
01:20:33You won't have me arrested.
01:20:35You will take me back.
01:20:39Come here, bitch.
01:20:42I'll settle you down a little.
01:20:52You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:20:56Hey!
01:20:57Hey!
01:20:59Angela!
01:21:00Come here!
01:21:04You're too late!
01:21:05I drugged her.
01:21:06She'll be dead soon unless...
01:21:07Not yet.
01:21:08Have you forgotten who I am?
01:21:11He really does have everything he was supposed to.
01:21:13Everything except for...
01:21:14Yeah, except for fruit flavored gum.
01:21:15You get it already.
01:21:16You just saved my boss.
01:21:19Here you go.
01:21:25You're all good now.
01:21:27Thank God.
01:21:29But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:21:31What?
01:21:32What are you going to do to me?
01:21:34Hey, stop!
01:21:35No, don't!
01:21:37Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:21:45Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:21:47Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:21:50So, who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:21:52We've invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding.
01:21:55The Prince of Bhutan.
01:21:57And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:22:06Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:08The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:10We're down to the wire.
01:22:12Literally.
01:22:13The wedding day.
01:22:14But who's the groom?
01:22:15Who's the bride?
01:22:16Who's the groom?
01:22:17The wedding day.
01:22:18But who's the groom?
01:22:32Welcome back to the finale of
01:22:34The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:22:36But who's the groom?
01:22:41Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:22:45Any input from the parents?
01:22:47Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:22:50Oh, this is exciting.
01:22:52Who should my daughter pick?
01:22:55Let me think.
01:22:59I like the doctor.
01:23:01He's cute.
01:23:04But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:23:08And we can't forget about Devon Sterling,
01:23:10the one who's loved her the longest.
01:23:12Isn't that right, Devon?
01:23:14Angela.
01:23:21You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:23:26And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:23:30But this was a really hard decision.
01:23:34And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:39And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:23:47I'm just kidding.
01:23:48I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:23:54Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:23:58I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:24:00They've all proven their undying love.
01:24:03So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:24:06Literally.
01:24:08Could it be the sexy and protective,
01:24:12general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:24:20Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird,
01:24:25Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:24:29And last but not least,
01:24:31could it be the richest man of them all,
01:24:34the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:24:37Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:24:42Gentlemen,
01:24:44it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:24:46It has.
01:24:47May the best man win.
01:24:49May the best man win.
01:24:52Drum roll, please.
01:24:56Gotta make you understand
01:24:58Never gonna give you up
01:25:00Never gonna let you down
01:25:03Never gonna run around and desert you
01:25:07Seriously, Ricky?
01:25:15I choose...
01:25:26I need a powerful, strong man
01:25:28who's willing to do everything for that dream.
01:25:33Who could resist those guys?
01:25:37Can I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:25:39You like full-body checkup?
01:25:54Shane, it's you.
01:25:56I'm lovesick for you.
01:25:58You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:26:03It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:26:06Ellen, be my new queen.
01:26:07I hope we can build together.
01:26:22It's always been you.
01:26:32I'll always love you.
01:26:36Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:26:40Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:26:41Have you seen my murder weapons?
01:26:43I eat fruit flavored gum for you.