Comedian John Early visits with The New Yorker to try his hand at captioning some cartoons.
Category
🛠️
LifestyleTranscript
00:00I'm John Early, and today I'm going to caption some cartoons.
00:09There is a flight attendant, not clear as to whether or not he's gay.
00:14I'm shocked to say I have a really strong instinct with this one.
00:20We do things a little differently around here.
00:22There's just something about this kind of gay boy who spent their childhood in the mirror
00:27practicing being a waiter or a flight attendant.
00:30We do things a little differently around here.
00:34I'm not very familiar with the Sherlock universe, because I'm not a nerd.
00:41So he's looking at the crossword, and because he's using a magnifying glass, I'm going to
00:46say we're going to need a bigger crossword.
00:50Kind of a Jaws reference.
00:52It's not good.
00:54I know that it's not good.
00:58So we have two small house cats watching a jungle cat.
01:02Start the clock in the corner of the screen.
01:08Don't want to gender them, but I do feel like they're lesbians, the cats.
01:12Okay, hold on.
01:14Keep the clock going.
01:18One cat, the eyes are big.
01:20The other seems nonplussed.
01:23Nonpussed.
01:24Okay, we're getting somewhere.
01:29This is awful.
01:32I'm nonpussed.
01:33We have a disco ball in an operation.
01:40I'm holding back from just writing, you better work.
01:43Because there's got to be something with like knife, like cut me to pieces.
01:49I've been in a gay way.
01:51I'm just going to do, you better work.
01:53For time reasons, I'm going to just go with that.
01:56I have a call at three.
02:00Meaning like, you better work.
02:01We have surgery to do.
02:05We have a UFO, an alien, a cow.
02:08I think the cow wants to go with the alien.
02:12Okay.
02:14So I'm going to do, take me with moo.
02:17And I'm not going to think any harder about it because that's obviously right.
02:25Take me with moo.
02:28This is my favorite of the ones I've done today.
02:30I just want to put that on record.
02:31If you're familiar in any way with my standup, which I really hope you're not, honestly,
02:36I'm not concise.
02:38I ramble a lot to make largely incoherent points.
02:43And I could learn from what I just went through.
02:45I did learn from what I just went through.
02:48So thank you to The New Yorker for helping me grow.