• 18 hours ago
Award-winning stand-up comedian Mark Nelson’s triumphant homecoming gig in the sold-out Theatre Royal in Dumfries. Fr | dG1fYmlvRlNmMi05bDg
Transcript
00:00Is there anyone in here that's not from the UK?
00:04Yeah.
00:05Yes, where are you guys from?
00:07New Zealand.
00:08New Zealand, right. Why are you in Dumfries?
00:14For this.
00:15For this?
00:22What a waste of money that has been on Shetland.
00:26Have you seen, like, our weather is bad.
00:30Like, sometimes it's all right.
00:33Like, we have heatwaves.
00:35I remember last year we had four days of sun.
00:41And listen, I agree, it's too long.
00:43Too long.
00:45Three days, fine.
00:46Three days more of a kind of curiosity.
00:49People looking out the window going,
00:51there's that thing back again.
00:53I wonder what it wants this year.
00:55Four days, people are losing their minds.
00:57Guys constructing a wicker man in their back garden,
01:00just burning a goat trying to appease
01:04the yellow monster in the sky.
01:06That's not to say we've had heatwaves.
01:08We've had heatwaves.
01:09What's your name, New Zealand guy?
01:11Alexander.
01:12Take a guess, Alexander.
01:14How many days do you think Scotland's
01:16longest ever heatwave was?
01:18Four and a half days.
01:19Four and a half days?
01:21Four and a half days.
01:27Four and a half days.
01:29Fuck off, Alexander.
01:31You tit.
01:35It's five.
01:36It's five days.

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