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00:00Well, the holiday season is fast approaching and parents around the world are thinking
00:04about gifts for their little ones and the not-so-little ones, whether it's a new smartphone,
00:09tablet, gaming console or something else altogether.
00:12Parents and caregivers may need a little help before buying digital gifts for the holidays.
00:16Fortunately, we have digital parenting coach Elizabeth Milovedov on the set with us to
00:21talk about this.
00:22Welcome, Elizabeth.
00:23Thank you so much.
00:24So, what should parents know before buying any tech gifts?
00:27Well, I think we're going to look at it in three different ways.
00:30So what to do beforehand, when you get it and then afterwards.
00:34So before you get that gift, do the research.
00:37You know, sit there and look at the different age labels.
00:40Look at the recommendations and the reviews.
00:42You can find things on Common Sense Media, a few of my favorite resources.
00:46You can look at Internet Matters and look at tech guides.
00:51And when you're sitting there thinking about the gift, think about your child's development.
00:54You know, what are they doing?
00:56What are they able to do?
00:57Think about skill development.
00:59And really, I think the most important is to decide if it's age appropriate.
01:04Is this something that a nine-year-old should have?
01:06Is this something that a 16-year-old should have?
01:08And, you know, check your children where they are.
01:10All right.
01:11And so the parent or caregiver has done the research and then has found the perfect age
01:16appropriate tech toy with maximum privacy settings.
01:20Then what?
01:21Yeah.
01:22And I love that.
01:23The maximum privacy settings.
01:24So if you had a chance to play with the device beforehand, that's great, because then you
01:27can set the privacy settings.
01:29You can look at parental controls.
01:32I think something that's really important is that you decide about having a family media
01:37agreement.
01:38And so a family media agreement, it doesn't have to be something that's huge and onerous,
01:42even though I'm a lawyer and I like these types of agreements.
01:45But it's really just setting out your expectations of how you want your child or your teen, your
01:49young person to use that device.
01:52And by device, we're talking about anything and everything, right, whether it's smartphones
01:55or tablets or gaming consoles or robotic toys, interactive new apps, whatever, really,
02:01you can set out your expectations of how you want your child to use these tech gifts responsibly.
02:08And so what might the conversation around a family media agreement sound like?
02:13I mean, what kind of things might you say to your child?
02:16Well, I think just really meeting them where they are.
02:18So just as you and I are having this conversation to sit there and talk about, you know, what
02:22do you like to do with this device?
02:24You know, what do you think are good limits?
02:26How are your friends using it?
02:28I think something that's really important is always having that what to do if conversation.
02:33So what to do if something creepy happens online, what to do if you don't know where
02:37to go.
02:39Your children really need to know that you are that trusted adult to help them out.
02:43And so how might a parent react then if a child comes to them and says, I've had this
02:48terrible, frightening experience, or do you have any concrete examples?
02:51For sure.
02:52The first thing, don't panic parent, right?
02:55It doesn't matter.
02:56Online, offline, you're still trying to make sure that your child is safe.
02:59So once that you're able to make sure that they're safe, you're talking to them, you're
03:03listening, then you're able to look at some solutions and ask them about solutions together.
03:09And the privacy settings, are there things that should that parents should be on the
03:12lookout for in particular?
03:14No, I would say just if they go through the settings, and it's also a good idea to do
03:19this with your children.
03:21So that way, because they have a tendency to know a lot about what's happening with
03:24their tech devices.
03:26But if you go through it with them, there are things you can say, well, do we need that?
03:29Do we want that?
03:30And your child can say, no, I don't need to have access to everyone.
03:34Friends of friends is fine.
03:36I think what's really important is to remember that sometimes devices can reset.
03:41And so you really need to periodically check those updates and things like that to make
03:45sure you have your privacy settings at the maximum.
03:47Because you are a digital guardian, and you're supposed to be protecting your child's privacy
03:51and data.
03:53And that's what those privacy settings can do for you.
03:55And do you have some examples of age appropriate devices for particular age ranges, in your
04:01opinion, at least?
04:02No, I would say that you again, you take your child where they are, right.
04:06And so I think it's really important to stress, you know, that there's a difference between
04:10thinking that a device is educational and entertaining.
04:14But really, too, you can look at these things with your children.
04:17I think the most important, the labels on these devices are there for a reason.
04:22And they're letting you know what is the best age, you might have a very precocious five-year-old,
04:28you might have a slower learner who's older.
04:31So you really have to look at what works for your child.
04:35And have you ever come into contact with parents who are perhaps against or a little resistant
04:40to give tech gifts for their children?
04:42Yes, yes.
04:43And I don't, I really don't think that there's a problem with that.
04:45I just think that, obviously, your house, your rules.
04:49But I think that parents need to realize that technology is here.
04:52And we need to find ways to educate them, to create awareness, to make sure that our
04:57children know that we are that trusted adult, that trusted person who has their best interest
05:02at heart.
05:03So I say always to keep those conversations going.
05:06And to be careful, because if you're so, so resistant about some of that technology, it
05:10becomes forbidden fruit.
05:12And then there they off at the neighbor's house or at a friend's house, and you really
05:14want them to have those experiences with you.
05:16So again, you can share your values, your expectations and how you want them to use
05:20that technology.
05:21Absolutely.
05:22Thank you very much.
05:23Elizabeth Milovidov.
05:24Our viewers can get some more information on your website, digitalparentingcoach.com.