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00:00It's a big ask to sing and it's a big thing. So you better have some soul, baby. That's all I got to say
00:22Well, we got the news that you know best new artist bring renomination I was I was uh, we're we're getting ready for the los cuarenta
00:29Awards in Barcelona. And so I'm getting my makeup and my hair done and we're the last ones said on that
00:36You know, it was it was right after Shaboosie was spoken, which is my dog man
00:40And I just said they said Teddy Swims would jump out of our chairs
00:43I I called my dad to first thing and I would I didn't cry until he started crying and my dad always
00:49Always cries and gets me to cry. We softest man
00:52I know and my hero and I just it was such a beautiful moment to have shared that with him
00:58He's so proud and nothing makes me more proud than seeing him proud
01:01You know, that's that's that's the biggest win at the end of the day for me is my dad being like son
01:06Look what you did, but you know, it's just like I could cry talking about it down. I'm so proud and grateful
01:12Yeah
01:13he was the first one that told me you know, I was I was in I was in cosmetology school like doing here and I
01:17Was 19 and he had told me like son if you want to do music for a living drop out promise me
01:22you'll never go back to school and I did and you know it
01:26Fanned out so I always say to people anybody with kids, you know
01:30don't don't don't underestimate the power of giving your kids permission to do that because it I
01:34Mean look look at where we are when we were writing lose control
01:38We're in Palm Springs at this writing camp
01:40and yeah ammo and infamous had kind of come up with this beat and these two beats the door and lose control and
01:46And I remember Julian specifically saying like this
01:49this is the biggest song that I want to focus on this week while we're here writing is like I just had this idea for
01:55Like it goes like, you know
01:57Something like I lose and then like control like some some like Teddy swims run and I think that'd be like kind of the course
02:03I did bro. And so we should you know, like which I think this is gonna be huge
02:08I think we should work on that. And so we went and you know made it what it is
02:11Now Julian Bonetta was like so smart about he's like I want to do something
02:14That's like a catchy course, but it's also something that you know
02:18Not everybody can sing like it's it's too difficult saying but it's like also like
02:23Something that everybody can like try to sing, you know
02:26Even poorly in their car and or even for singers trying to get that riff down, you know
02:30it's like it was catchy in a way that it wasn't catchy, you know, and very similar to like
02:35you know when you hear like a
02:37Tennessee whiskey and like a bar and somebody's playing it, you know
02:40And and and you know that runs coming up and so as soon as that first line even the verse starts, you know
02:45You know
02:45there's a catchy run that's gonna be
02:47Like kind of hard for a lot of people to do and so as soon as you hear somebody singing that at a karaoke bar
02:51Like at a club or something you're like if you can't hit that run don't even bother, you know
02:55and so we wanted to have something that was gonna have something like
02:58similar to that run and that song that was or any big song with a
03:02Difficult run that like like Mariah Carey's all over Christmas, you know, it's like that that kind of like crazy run
03:08She does it's it's something that not everybody can do
03:10so as soon as you open your mouth and start singing a song you're like you better be able to hit this run and
03:14You're kind of engaged all the way through from the beginning
03:17And so we wanted to do something kind of similar with the course on that
03:20It's a big ask to sing and it's a big thing. So I know when people know it they're expecting to hear
03:28It's saying you know, and and and you better have some soul, baby. That's all I got to say
03:32Yeah, that one especially one of the biggest things you hear all the time in the green room
03:36Is that right before we go on is it's it's even weirder than it's the first run for me
03:41That's right before out of my mind. It's like whoa
03:44Whoa over and over again. I try to make sure I get that right and you know, it's a big ask
03:49There's sometimes where the the melody is kind of written and then you're like writing words around it
03:55And then sometimes there's words and then you're writing the melody around it
03:59and I think
04:00What's just so beautiful about this song is that we did both here because in the second verse making, you know
04:06They're problematic problem is the won't your body like a thing like a bad habit making had already done the mumbles to like
04:13And it's very different. I'll play it for you
04:15I hope he doesn't mind that I'm playing his mumbles because he's probably gonna be like, oh, why did I sound crazy?
04:20But he said he always sounds beautiful
04:29You know, you gotta hear I'm just going for it
04:36And then you can even hear he would say something about the force in the trees here which is weird
04:41My head in the dust
04:48Right here
04:52And so he kind of had this like idea of a mumble for the for the verse there and
04:57that problematic thing and and it was so cool because
05:01Julian at the time was like we were we were all like kind of in the in the room trying to like bounce off our
05:06Ideas and I don't think we can all like get on the same page and he had this idea
05:09So Julian was like look Mickey you go outside by the pool. You write this second verse
05:15whatever it sounds like to you take your mumble write this whole second verse by yourself and then he was like
05:20Jaden you sit right here. And what you're gonna do is like we'll get the chorus like run thing down, you know
05:26And Julie was like I'm gonna go outside and I'm just gonna write a poem
05:30basically for what the first verse is gonna be and then I'll come back and bring it to you and then you just kind of
05:36Read the poem in a melody and for the most part the melody of the first verse is exactly where it is
05:41Still almost like a little bit of differences, but it's it's the first course on this
05:46It's just actually gonna make you laugh because it's it's changed a lot. Something's gotta hold me
05:52No, I don't know myself
05:55anymore
05:58Feels like the walls are all closing and the devil's knocking at my door
06:06How do my mind how many times did I tell you I'm no good it's pretty much the same, you know
06:14Which is no different but here's where the course we had coming up is so funny
06:23You should know
06:30Such a different like such a different
06:33To me and then we say
06:42Which is so different right and then we even kind of doubled up here on this bit
06:49That was the first one we did but we we did have a few of them
06:53I know we just kept running rods. I think I had almost nailed it
06:57to what I wanted it to be and then Mickey went back with this person course thing and kind of track this whole thing I
07:04had and we went back again and then finally got the run to be what it was and then of course rewrote those chorus lyrics
07:11to be I guess a little simpler and not ending on a rhyme rather than it like gonna be a can't you see and
07:20weirdly enough if you hear in the background of the vocals to
07:27Oh
07:36Yeah, what's so funny is the background says when you're not here with me because originally we had it
07:42We had it decided that we were gonna go when you're not next to me when you're not next to me and the second time
07:47Around was gonna go when you're not here with me when you're not here with me
07:52It wasn't until we were like after we got the final mix back that I was like, oh Julian
07:57we forgot to put here with me and now actually the background says here with me and the vocal says next to me and
08:02It just actually ended up being kind of like
08:05Lazily and kind of cool and just different from each other and it sounded intentional and I like weird cool little lazy way
08:13You know and and that that ended up being what it was
08:15I think by a complete accident the solo on this is also
08:19Originally Amos mouth was on the solo like he had just kind of mumbled the solo in and so if you hear that solo in
08:37So that solo right here this is Amos original original take of it
08:42Which is so good because it's the exact it's the exact same solo
08:49I
09:07Literally is the same exact solo and he had mumbled it in and we
09:11Experimented with like doing like a bunch of distortion on his voice and just kind of keeping it that way and not playing the solo
09:16but I believe Julian went back and actually recorded the solo which is
09:21Really neat. I always say that when you're writing songs, there's there's both of those styles
09:26but there's also that one sweet spot to when you're when you're just kind of
09:30John Mayer calls it I heard on an interview one time Ouija boarding, you know
09:34Which is like he just plays and he starts singing
09:37lyrics and words and melodies at the same time and I think
09:40Every once in a while there's a like that one sweet little spot where the melody and the lyric just all falls out together at
09:45The same time, you know, there's there's an intention to write a song
09:48I don't I don't know what we were writing about but we knew it was gonna be I lose control and so if you walk
09:52Into a session and you want to write a song like I want to write a song about this particular thing
09:56Which is which is huge in places like Nashville real storytellers, you know
10:00Like who want to write a song about this particular moment or this certain title they have that can create a beautiful emotional song
10:08But there has to be the emotion attached to the story in their life
10:11I feel like it's always better off than
10:13When you just have a title of something you want to write when we were first started writing this and writing the course on it
10:19I had I remember just breaking down crying because I was I was talking to the person I was dating at the time and
10:25Everything was just getting this was like a perfect escape for me that week. We were in Palm Springs
10:31I was I was really kind of numbing myself a lot
10:33And so I feel like I was even even the stuff that we were writing about
10:36I don't think that I quite realized like what the gravity of those things until way later when I was out of that situation
10:44but I had went out and
10:47Julian was like, let's go get some Sun and we sat outside on the on the lawn there at that house
10:51We are being beaten, you know right after I had had it kind of was just breaking down to him about it
10:56that that was what he was like, all right, I'm gonna just kind of try to put that into words and
11:01You know and wrote that first verse out of it, which is which is quite beautiful in a way
11:05It was it was a really really emotional day
11:09And I mean, you know
11:11it's this saved my life in so many ways and still to this day is I have to do a lot of self-work and a
11:16lot of self-healing to
11:18Tell myself that all my emotions don't have to have every piece of me all the time
11:23You know like they they rule my life a lot of times if I let them mr. Rogers man, one of the greatest
11:29He's like, what do I do with this mad that I feel just know I could stop, you know
11:32Stop you can stop and and and it for me. They just eat me up
11:37But I think I think that in some degree is what has made me I guess as a singer
11:43be able to express emotion in a way that a lot of like that that that is I guess a
11:49Spokesperson or a vehicle for a lot of people to feel some things that they aren't able to fully express
11:54and so I think there's a gift in and
11:57Feeling things way too deeply, but I think there's also a curse in that too
12:00You know, I always say that that singing is 80% acting, you know
12:05I would say something like that because I think that
12:09there's there's something that that when when you're when you're singing it in order to sing it with the same fervor or the same like
12:17You know the same emotion to truly capture it again
12:20You have to kind of take yourself back to that place again and fully kind of put yourself
12:26Dive back into that emotion fully to really to really push it in the way
12:30I think what I love about that is as it's now about
12:33it's now about being able to pull myself back out of that knowing that going back into those places are a great reminder for me to
12:41Understand where I'm at now and how appreciative I am for those moments versus just staying in that turmoil
12:48Which I used to do a lot and again, I mean it took a lot of you know
12:52self-help audio books and and and diving in and having great friends and and and you know
12:58Many forms of therapy to get me to where I'm at now with with not having to fully give myself to that emotion but to
13:05Briefly fully give myself to that emotion and be able to sing it from that place
13:09But I think the beautiful part about that song is now when I get to sing it with so many people
13:15it's it's truly a way that I could take some some trauma that I went through and I guess kind of claim
13:23Reclaim ownership to it in a way and make it into a celebration now with
13:28So many other people with the same like trauma, you know
13:30And I think it's a now when I sing it and thousands of people are singing along with me
13:35We can all sing it together in a celebration and we all can sing it together and love and happiness and like a party
13:42Versus and still feel that deep emotion with it, you know
13:45but but
13:46Realize that we're on the other side of that and just kind of put ourselves back there for a minute as a gentle reminder that we
13:51Don't have to be there anymore
13:53If that makes any sense
14:06Yeah