“Sometimes Kunal will just ignore Inaaya.” Throwback to 2019 when Soha Ali Khan opened up about the bond between her husband Kunal Kemmu and their daughter. She was speaking to Kareena Kapoor Khan on Filmy Mirchi’s show What Women Want.
🎥: Mirchi Plus
🎥: Mirchi Plus
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00So I know that as a parent, I'm extremely worried.
00:03What is your take on Inayah being photographed?
00:06Firstly, I completely, I think Taimur is perhaps,
00:09it's a more extreme case than Inayah.
00:11I know that he's often followed to, you know,
00:13wherever he goes, wherever he goes, actually.
00:16And with Inayah, it's a little less so,
00:18but it's still worrying.
00:20How much credit of you being a good mother goes to Kunal?
00:24We come from very different backgrounds.
00:26The way that he was brought up
00:27and the way that I was brought up are totally different.
00:30I was also brought up where, you know,
00:31my mother was working, where we did have a nanny.
00:33He didn't have a nanny, you know,
00:35so he may not agree with a lot of things,
00:38but we've compromised on a lot of things.
00:41And he's given me the freedom,
00:42which I know he has an opinion on things on,
00:44but he has allowed me to exercise it.
00:49What is something that you learned about parenting
00:51from your parents that now you're applying to Inayah?
00:56I think, I think when it comes to Abba,
01:01he never said,
01:03aise karo, waise karo.
01:05He was the kind of person who would just live his life
01:07and believe that you should absorb,
01:09you should see and imbibe instead of saying.
01:13Like there's more value in actions.
01:15Actions speak louder than words.
01:17So I don't remember him ever saying, you know,
01:19I want you to do this or I feel you should do this.
01:21If he said, you should not raise your voice,
01:24he wouldn't say that.
01:25I just never in my whole life ever heard him raise his voice
01:28and I understood it's not cool to raise your voice.
01:31Because he didn't.
01:32Yeah, because he didn't.
01:33From Amma, I think it was again,
01:35the fact that it's okay to be a working parent
01:39and to be a working mother.
01:41And from a young age, of course,
01:42she worked a lot more with Bhai.
01:44She worked a lot more with my eldest sister, Sabha.
01:47With me, she was more involved, perhaps in my upbringing,
01:49but still she did Mississippi Masala.
01:51She went away for two months, you know,
01:53and I remember missing her terribly
01:54and I used to write letters to her every day.
01:56But sometimes she missed a birthday also of mine.
01:58And she said, it's okay, I know it's your birthday,
02:00but we'll celebrate it when I'm there.
02:02And it's just a day at the end of the day
02:03and you understand that that's something
02:05that's important to her.
02:06And I never held it against her.
02:07We have a really close relationship.
02:10How much credit of you being a good mother goes to Kunal?
02:14We come from very different backgrounds.
02:16The way that he was brought up
02:17and the way that I was brought up are totally different.
02:20I was also brought up where, you know,
02:21my mother was working, where we did have a nanny.
02:23He didn't have a nanny, you know,
02:25so he may not agree with a lot of things,
02:28but we've compromised on a lot of things.
02:31And he's given me the freedom,
02:32which I know he has an opinion on things on,
02:34but he has allowed me to exercise it.
02:36Of course, sometimes-
02:37Milk being one of them.
02:38Yeah, exactly.
02:39Soya milk or dairy, right?
02:41Yeah, and also lots of things in terms of a diet.
02:44In terms of the fact that, you know,
02:45also we don't need to change things up all the time.
02:48She doesn't need to constantly go
02:49to a hundred different things and be entertained.
02:51Absolutely.
02:52He'd say, we grew up, you know,
02:53in two rooms and we would be fine.
02:56We'd be like just, you know, playing on the floor.
02:58You don't have to give her different vegetables every day.
03:00You know, like whatever,
03:00like I want to do the best for her.
03:02There are times when he says, you know,
03:04I don't understand, like going to play dates
03:06and all, he still feels it's like a woman's job.
03:08He'd always ask me, you know,
03:09how many husbands were there?
03:10How many fathers were there?
03:11And sometimes they are,
03:12like even the play group that I take Inayah to
03:16and the preschool that she goes to,
03:17there are fathers who go there,
03:19but, you know, he'll also constantly not applaud Inayah.
03:21She's doing something.
03:22I'm constantly like, wow, that's amazing.
03:24She's drawn a line.
03:25It's amazing.
03:26She stood up.
03:26It's amazing.
03:27And this child gets used to a lot of applause
03:29and a lot of, you know, attention.
03:31Sometimes Kunal will just ignore Inayah
03:33and I'd be like, you know, she's looking for you.
03:34Give her attention.
03:35He says, I don't need to, you know,
03:37it's normal for a child to be around.
03:38She can't be the center of attention at all times.
03:40But I think even Saif is very much like that.
03:42Yeah, so I think maybe, I don't know if that's a...
03:43So you're balancing it out.
03:45He kind of also...
03:46I know that she loves being on swings
03:47and I said, you know, I want to get her a swing.
03:49And that's where he said, okay, look,
03:51like, I don't want her to have everything.
03:53Even if you can afford it.
03:54Of course.
03:55She should also look forward to going to Taimur's house
03:56because he has a swing.
03:57Exactly.
03:58It has to be something that she knows
03:59that she can't have all the time.
04:00I think that's very right.
04:01And, you know, a little perspective like that
04:03is also helpful for me.
04:04Kunal's attitude is very much like Saif's,
04:06even though you both are brothers and sisters
04:08and have a similar background.
04:09But I think Saif, because he's had his fair share of,
04:12you know, actually working in the industry
04:15at such a young age and doing everything also on his own,
04:18that I think even his attitude is a lot like that.
04:20I think so.
04:21He always constantly fires me, he's like,
04:22what is the need to constantly entertain your child?
04:25Why does it have to be that he has to go out every day?
04:28And he must learn how to entertain himself.
04:30Absolutely.
04:31And be okay with one thing,
04:32otherwise they're constantly,
04:34then they'll require that stimulation.
04:36Now Inaya and Taimur are growing up in the digital age.
04:39In the age where they're being hounded by the paparazzi.
04:42So I know that as a parent, I'm extremely worried.
04:46What is your take on Inaya being photographed?
04:49Firstly, I completely, I think Taimur is perhaps,
04:52it's a more extreme case than Inaya.
04:54I know that he's often followed to, you know,
04:56wherever he goes, wherever he goes actually.
04:59And with Inaya, it's a little less so,
05:01but it's still worrying.
05:03Yeah, it's still there.
05:04It's still worrying.
05:05I don't know what it is about these particular children
05:08or whether it's children suddenly in general,
05:09star children, celeb children,
05:11that, you know, people have taken an interest in.
05:13But it is, I'm sure it's going to take away
05:16from their innocence.
05:17And I remember a huge part of my childhood being private.
05:19Things that I did that nobody knew about.
05:22And I think you're entitled to that.
05:23Every child wants, I think, especially in high school
05:26and school and when they're young,
05:28they don't want to stand out.
05:29They don't want to be different.
05:30They want to belong.
05:31And it can be tough growing up.
05:33You want acceptance.
05:34You want friends.
05:35And if people think you're different,
05:37they tend to keep you at an arm's length.
05:38I don't know.
05:39So that is extremely terrifying.
05:41Vasli, what would you like to say to those people
05:44who shame us all celeb moms?
05:47People do feel a certain way and you can't block that out.
05:50I'm not saying that you have to engage with it,
05:52but you have to be aware that things exist.
05:55In terms of shaming and trolling,
05:57sometimes it's just people looking for attention.
06:00And some things need to be ignored.
06:02Some things need to be engaged with.
06:04And often I've seen people be converted.
06:07Sometimes you can actually have a rational discussion
06:08with someone if they're open
06:10to changing their points of views.
06:11And you cannot please everyone.
06:13So just please yourself.