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“Bullying can happen even if my own child is safe with me in my house.”

Isa ang Pilipinas sa may pinakamataas na rate ng bullying sa mga eskwelahan. Pero maski ang bully, pwede palang maging biktima rin?!

Sa pinakabagong episode ng Share Ko Lang, pag-uusapan ni Doc Anna kasama si Michelle Abigail Bonafe ng No Bully Program, kung paano dapat tugunan ang problemang ito.

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00:00Hello mga kapuso, ako si Dr. Anna Tuazon, ang inyong kakwentuhan ng psychologist sa
00:13share ko lang.
00:15Bullying capital of the world daw ang Pilipinas, base sa isang international study, one out
00:22of three Filipino students daw ang nakakaranas ng bullying, baano natin matutulungan ang mga
00:29estudyanteng naging biktima nito, yan ang pag-uusapan natin kasama ang registered psychometrician
00:35na si Michelle Abigail Bonafay.
00:38Hi Michelle, welcome to share ko lang.
00:41Hello Dr. Tuazon, Dr. Anna, I'm Michelle, and nice to see you and good afternoon po
00:49sa lahat ng mga viewers natin.
00:52I want to ask you, kasi di ba kasama ka ng Philippine Mental Health Association at kasama
00:59ka doon sa No Bully Program, tama?
01:02So ano ang No Bully Program?
01:05Actually, ang No Bully Program po ay isang partnership sa isang international NGO, nakagaya
01:12din ng PMHA, UK-based ito, pero nakita namin yung ganda na in-offer ng programa nila na
01:21kahit na nasa Philippine context ay applicable ang mga konsepto na ini-introduce nila kasi
01:27instead na makafocus sa punitive na approach in terms of addressing bullying, more of solution
01:35focus yung ginagawa nila.
01:37Actually, meron silang dalawang highlights na ginagamit kapag ka nag-address ng bullying.
01:43Yun yung left hand of empathy and then right hand of action.
01:47Pag sinabing left hand of empathy, nakakonekta kasi yan sa puso.
01:51So inilalagay mo yung sarili mo sa sitwasyon ng biktima o nung bullied na estudyante at
01:57kinukuha mo kung ano, kung baga iniintindi mo kung ano yung nararanasan niya.
02:03At doon naman, doon din sa bully, akala kasi natin parang ang biktima lang dito ay ang
02:09bullied or target.
02:13Pero kung titignan natin, meron ding mga mental health concerns ang isang bullied na student.
02:19So gagamitin din natin siya ng left hand of empathy but at the same time, since meron siyang
02:25act na kailangan i-address, we also use the right hand of action which sets the boundary,
02:31sets the limit and as someone addressing bullying, yun yung magiging mong point na kung saan
02:41kikilos at gagawa ng action. You understand the person but at the same time, you set limits
02:46and do something about the situation.
02:49So left hand of empathy, right hand of action. So sabi mo nga, solution-focused.
02:55So hindi lang yung na-bully na student ang tutulungan natin. Pero yung kabuoan,
03:01para mabuwag yung sistema ng bullying.
03:05So Michelle, kasi diba sabi nga doon sa isang study, tayo isa sa pinaka mataas na rate
03:12ng bullying. Yung sinasabi nila 65% daw halos naka-experience ng bullying.
03:21Nakikita nyo ba ito? Diba pag nasa schools kayo, nasa ground kayo?
03:25Talagang talamak nga ba ang bullying ngayon?
03:29Actually yes. Sa nakaraan naming solution coach training noong nakaraang 2023,
03:36labing dalawang schools yung napuntahan namin at buong bansa ito, mga selected schools
03:43mula Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao kung saan may iba't-ibang scenario silang pinapresent
03:48sa amin. Kapag nagtatanong kami, kamusta po ba ang school?
03:51Ano ba ang situation ng bullying dito sa inyong school?
03:55Iba-iba. Ang dynamics ay grupo ng mga kabataan sa isang classroom.
04:02May isang bata lang na na-isolate. Meron naman kaming nakita din na
04:07yung bullying na dadala sa labas ng school. May situation din na yung mga teachers
04:15ang nabubully ng mga studyante. Pero ang mahalaga siguro dito,
04:22kahit sinasabi natin yung mga sitwasyon na nakita namin sa PMHA,
04:27sa bullying situation sa iba't-ibang schools na napuntahan namin nationwide,
04:33siguro alamin muna natin ano ba yung bullying.
04:36Mahalaga kasi na maintindihan natin ano ba yung bullying.
04:40As defined by WHO, it's a repetitive intentional hurting of a person or a group of people
04:48Kung saan yung relationship nila, there's an imbalance of power.
04:52So sa definition na yun, makikita natin yung tatlong P's.
04:56Power, purpose, and then persisting. Tatlong P yung gagamitin natin.
05:01Letter P, nauna ay yung power. So ito ay isang advantage or strength over someone.
05:08So ang example nun siguro yung pananakit, paninipa,
05:13pwede rin yung pagtawag ng mga pangalan kasi ginagamit yung influensya,
05:18yung lakas para i-downplay at sabihin na ito ka lang because of name-calling.
05:24A number two P is yung purpose.
05:27Ano yung intention sa pag-trato dun sa tao?
05:32Ito ba ay because you want the person to be harmed, to be intimidated or controlled.
05:40Kung may ganun, yung purpose niya, that's bullying.
05:43Number three is persistence. Ang ibig sabihin nito ay paulit-ulit,
05:48repeated, at specific person yung tina-target every time.
05:52So kapag meron tong tatlong to, dun natin masasabi na bullying yung ginagawa sa atin.
05:57Actually po, Dok Ana, yung mga teachers din namin,
06:01nako-confuse sila, paano siya magdi-differentiate sa disrespect,
06:07sa teasing, sa power play.
06:09So kapag sinabi natin na teasing, it can be playful between,
06:14as you said, magkaklase lang, magkabiroan or one-time thing lang.
06:19Pero kapag paulit-ulit na siya na ginagawa,
06:23and again with the intention to hurt that person, that becomes bullying.
06:27Kapag naman disrespect, it is about lack of courtesy and lack of regard for a person.
06:36So it can happen between same level, so parehong estudyante, parehong magkatrabaho
06:42o pares na teachers, ganyan.
06:45Sometimes ang disrespect nangyayari siya out of frustration,
06:49minsan unaware na nagagawa yon.
06:52Pero again, pag pumasok yung tatlong T, like repetitive siya,
06:56ang intention mo is to hurt, it starts to become bullying.
07:02Kapag naman power play siya, ang dynamics nito ay ginagamitan ng position,
07:08ng influence or ng advantage to control or manipulate someone.
07:13Pero because power lang siya, it's about power play.
07:17Ginagamit yung position, tulad na teacher sa students,
07:21or administrator to teachers.
07:23Pero kapag ka nakakaroon na again nung purpose and then persistence,
07:30that becomes bullying.
07:33E kanina may sinasabi mo minsan pati ang teacher nabubully ng estudyante.
07:38So curious yun, kasi usually inisip natin mas may power ang teacher sa student.
07:44Pero student to teacher, saan yung power dun?
07:48Kaya ko siya nabanggit, kasi isa rin yun sa mga nabanggit ng teacher,
07:52mga teachers na na-train namin sa No Bully Philippines.
07:57Possible ba yun?
07:58Parang kami kasi kinoconsider namin na bullying,
08:01kung yung mga estudyante namin ay binubully kami.
08:05So tinignan namin yung sitwasyon, ang nangyayari,
08:08grupo sila or isang classroom,
08:11tapos ang power pumapasok kapag yung grupo na yun,
08:16kumbaga social group sila.
08:18It becomes a power kapag sama-sama sila,
08:20dun sa intention na ipahiya, na i-hurt yung kanilang teacher.
08:26And paulit-ulit, hindi lang siya disrespect na one time
08:30because the class is frustrated or unintention nilang nagawa.
08:36So kaya merong, kaya siya nalilabel as bullying,
08:41kasi may power na din siya.
08:43Bunda naman tayo Michelle dun sa mga ibat-ibang uri ng bullying.
08:49Pag nanakit na, physical bullying, sinampal, binugbog,
08:56yung physical na medyo madaling ma-recognize,
08:59uy, bullying yan.
09:01Pero merong mga insidious, yung mga bullying na hindi ka tuloy sure,
09:05nabubully na ba ako? Hindi ako sure eh.
09:08So ano yung mga ibat-ibang uri ng bullying?
09:12So base dun sa mga studies or reports na nabasa natin,
09:16yung mga common types ng bullying sa isang Philippine school setting
09:19ay ang mga subusunod. Ang una dyan ay yung verbal bullying.
09:23Gumagamit sila ng salita para saktan o takutin yung kanilang mga kaklase.
09:28Ang example nito ay yung name calling,
09:31yung tinatawag sila ng masasakit na salita.
09:34Payat, pangit, mataba, baboy, etc.
09:37Yung pangaliwang uri ay yung social bullying.
09:41Ito naman ay yung pag-exclude o hindi pag-sale
09:44ng isang estudyante sa grupo nila.
09:47Kasi bilang social beings, tayong mga tao,
09:51we need someone, we need a group
09:54for our mental health, for ourselves.
09:57So yung pag-isolate sa isang tao, sa isang grupo,
10:00it affects their mental health, most especially their self-esteem.
10:04Yung pangatlo is yung cyber bullying.
10:07Yung pagpapadala ng masasakit na mensahe
10:11tapos merong i-exclude o hindi ka-sale sa group chat
10:14tapos yun yung gagamitin nilang means
10:17para pag-usapan yung kanilang kaklase
10:20na hindi membro ng GC na yun.
10:23Sometimes may gumagawa rin ng mga fake profiles
10:26para yun yung panggamit nila
10:29to hurt and to undermine yung pagkatao
10:34ng person na binubully nila.
10:37Yung physical bullying, also a type, as you said po, Doc Anna,
10:40pero as you said, ano siya, nakikita siya talaga.
10:45So kapag ka nanununtok, tinatadyakan, binubog-bog,
10:49yan, physical bullying yan.
10:51Pero I think itong mga nabanggit po are the most common
10:56in terms of the statistics that we have read.
10:59And many other forms, actually, ang meron pa diyan.
11:04Meron lumabas recently, nag-viral na video
11:08yung binuli na bata sa Pasig City, yung estudyante.
11:13Tapos binividyo pa, yun lang hindi ko maintindihan.
11:17I don't know if Michelle, you can explain to us
11:20bakit ganon, bakit ang daming nanonood?
11:22Tapos binividyo pa, kaya nga na-viral eh.
11:24Ngayon may social media, yung pahiya at a global scale.
11:30Paano kaya yun?
11:31Actually po, sa dynamics ng bullying,
11:34bukod sa victim at bully, meron din tayong karakter
11:38na tinatawag na bystander.
11:40So sila yung mga nakatayo lang at nanonood.
11:43Out of fear na mapabilang sila sa bullying,
11:47they sometimes just look and do nothing about it.
11:50Kaya importante din na sa isang school,
11:55ay merong empowerment of all the students
11:59na hindi lang sila bystander, kundi upstander sila.
12:02Kapag sinabi nating upstander,
12:04they are empowered as advocates against bullying.
12:08And kapag meron silang nakita na binu-bullying ka klase
12:12or schoolmate, they will step in
12:15and they will report that incident to their teacher.
12:19So importante na ma-recognize yung takot
12:23na nararamdaman nila in a bullying situation.
12:27At gamitin yun to make them aware
12:30and make them empower as advocates
12:32para mag-iisilang katulong ng administration ng schools,
12:36ng mga teaching and non-teaching personnel
12:38sa pagpuksa ng bullying.
12:40Lalo kung rampad siya sa loob ng isang school environment.
12:46In a way, the fact na sabi mo, bakit takot din sila,
12:50shows na may power talaga yung bully in that situation.
12:54Kaya hindi sila makagalaw.
12:56So, parang kanina pa sinasabi mo nga,
12:58parang yung no-bully program,
13:00solution-focused, hindi lang sa biktima.
13:02In fact, hindi lang doon sa biktima
13:04tsaka doon sa nagbubully na student.
13:07It's all the students.
13:08It's the whole community.
13:10Sabi mga upstander.
13:12Gusto ko yung word na yan.
13:14Yung social media bullying or cyber bullying
13:19na minention mo,
13:20I think doon talaga na-overwhelm ang mga parents ngayon.
13:24Kasi hindi natin alam paano agapan.
13:27Kasi noon, nung wala pang internet,
13:30once nakauwi ka na, safe ka na eh.
13:33At least matatapos yun.
13:35Kasi pag nakauwi ka na, okay na.
13:37Pero ngayon, because of cyber bullying,
13:39bullying can happen even if my own child
13:42is physically safe with me in my house.
13:48I'm sure ito na yung tanong ng mga magulang.
13:50Itatanong ko on their behalf.
13:52Anong pwede kong gawin pag nakita kong
13:54may mga masasakit na messages,
13:56may mga rumors na sinespread tungkol sa anak ko?
14:00Alam nyo po,
14:01importante talaga yung role ng magulang dito.
14:04Kasi ito ay developmental stages ng mga kabataan.
14:07At maganda na nakikialam ang magulang
14:10at may participation sa kanilang buhay.
14:13Kailangan ma-determine natin kung bullying.
14:15Kasi that's the time.
14:16It's our call to action na meron tayong gawin
14:20towards the situation.
14:23Kapag meron ka ng somehow hard fact evidence
14:28na magagamit, then you can approach the school.
14:31Most especially kapag nangyayari po sa school
14:34yung bullying at involve yung kanyang mga kaklase.
14:37Kasi ang common denominator nila
14:41ay yung school environment.
14:43And hopefully meron mga existing policies
14:46yung mga schools natin that can address
14:49this type of situations na involve yung ating mga students.
14:53Kasi kung lalapit lang yung parent
14:57tapos ia-address lang yung concern,
14:59pero the same type of situation or environment
15:03yung ginagalawan ng mga studyante
15:05sa loob ng paaralan nila,
15:06more likely mag-o-occur po ulit yung bullying.
15:10So aside sa maging alerto
15:14at dumapit sa school for action ng mga parents natin,
15:18we also encourage na maging involve sila
15:21sa mga gawain sa school kung saan po
15:24ay may boses sila para mailatag yung anti-bullying program
15:29sa loob ng paaralan.
15:31Kasi ito po yung makakapagparamdam
15:34sa makakapagpakalma ng kalooban nila
15:38na meron akong pwedeng gawin
15:41kapag yung anak ko na yung involved sa situation na ito.
15:45So, as I've mentioned,
15:47kailangan merong clear na programa yung school.
15:52Actually, sa mandate po ng ating Anti-Bullying Act of the Philippines
15:58ng 2013, meron talagang mandate ang mga schools
16:02na kailangan meron silang programa,
16:04preventive and intervention,
16:06na magtutulong sa mga studyante
16:10para maiwasan yung maranasan ang bullying.
16:14Pero Michelle, paano natin ipibreak yung dynamic na yun?
16:18Parang, di ba, parang madali mo sabihin sa magulang
16:22pero kung nasasaktan na yung magulang para sa anak niya.
16:25So, how do we break the cycle?
16:27Sige, I understand malamang kailangan natin
16:30na magcollaborate with schools, etc.
16:32So, how do we break this cycle
16:34ng need for dominating,
16:36yung emotional skills, social skills?
16:40Paano natin ibibreak yan?
16:42Ang first natin kailangan gawin
16:44is to create an inclusive school environment
16:48for all the students.
16:50Kasi kapag ka, I underscored the term inclusive.
16:54Kasi kahit anong itsura mo,
16:57kahit kakaiba ka for the rest of your classmates,
17:00you are accepted here in our school.
17:03So, kapag meron tayong inclusive, safe environment
17:07for a school,
17:10then we can most likely lessen
17:13the occurrence of bullying.
17:15So, it starts with, sabi mo nga,
17:17parang cultivating yung inclusiveness
17:20and because of that, yung kindness din.
17:23Parang nakikita ko na yung sinasabi mo
17:26na parang the reason why, kunyari,
17:29medyo na-isolate yung mga iba
17:32or they're acting out,
17:33whether as bullies or na-expose sila
17:35or naging vulnerable as potential victims,
17:38dahil they're in an environment
17:40na pag iba ka, weird ka.
17:43Parang may judgment kapag iba.
17:48But actually, that's something to think about.
17:51Sa ating school environment,
17:52sa ating neighborhoods,
17:54to celebrate differences
17:56and to celebrate diversity.
17:58Kasi meron din mga studies na nakikita
18:01na yung sa mga bullies,
18:03minsan meron undetected or untreated
18:05learning disabilities, difficulties.
18:08Tapos dahil feeling nila sila mismo iba,
18:10they will overcompensate.
18:12Ayoko, ayoko makita na weak.
18:14So, akong uunahan ko.
18:16Ako na lang yung...
18:17So, yeah, parang that's a fascinating way
18:21of treating it.
18:22And as much as siguro gusto ng short-term
18:25justice relief ng parents
18:28and then maybe, you know,
18:29obviously the victim also wants justice.
18:32Siguro, parang it benefits everyone
18:35if we empower them
18:37and give them the skills.
18:39Parang ano ba yung appropriate ways
18:41of influencing your peers, di ba?
18:43Kung meron ka talagang need.
18:45Ayoko naman masyadong kulela
18:47at Michelle, gusto ko naman, may power ako.
18:49Di ba? Parang there are appropriate ways
18:51to do that, like how to make friends,
18:53how to be kind.
18:54Being kind to each other
18:56gives us social capital ba,
18:58parang the social currency.
19:00So, instead of gaining power
19:02via aggression, hostility,
19:04parang pwede naman sa...
19:06Di ba? Parang you can belong
19:08in a way that doesn't hurt other people.
19:12Ayan.
19:13So, wow!
19:14Teka, parang taking a step back lang
19:17kasi buh, alaki nung kailangang solusyon.
19:20And yet, I can imagine,
19:22yun talaga dapat lahat tayo.
19:24We work together.
19:25Parents, teachers,
19:28atsaka siguro important din
19:30to assure them,
19:31hindi ka naman nawawalan ng justice.
19:33Yes.
19:34Porque hindi in-expel, ganyan.
19:37And siguro, Dok Ana,
19:38yung nariririg ko kasi
19:40dun sa pag-ustuhan nila
19:41na may accountability,
19:43may...
19:44kumbaga may sisihin, gano'n.
19:46Parang gusto din nila,
19:47na dahil nasaktan yung anak nila,
19:49may maparusahan.
19:50Actually, yung punishment alone
19:53doesn't really resolve bullying.
19:55Kumbaga, ano bang...
19:56Sige, sabihin natin na
19:58mapaparusahan itong nang-bully sa anak mo.
20:02Pero possibly, it can temporarily stop
20:05yung bullying.
20:06Pero it doesn't really address
20:08the root cause of the problem.
20:10That's why we are really advocating
20:12na kailangan school-wide
20:14yung ating campaign
20:16in terms of awareness.
20:18Tapos, we have to really
20:21tap our teachers,
20:23non-teaching personnel,
20:24all essential people
20:26sa buhay ng ating mga estudyante.
20:28And also the parents.
20:30Hindi lang sila
20:32kailangan manise
20:35or kailangan meron tayong
20:37makitang may accountable dito.
20:40Kasi when we focus on punishment,
20:45we somehow stigmatize
20:47yung bully na masama siya.
20:50And this can worsen their mental health status
20:53na, as a start,
20:55meron ng problem because, as I said,
20:57merong mga unresolved issues
21:00na ang way lang nila is to do bullying
21:02para ma-release yung mga yun.
21:04And also, kapag we focus on punishment alone,
21:08that can further resentment
21:11yung cycle ng aggression.
21:12So it doesn't help us
21:16build up yung empathy,
21:18yung kindness na gusto natin sa school.
21:21I understand.
21:22Yun yung somehow approach natin before.
21:24Pero this is a new, as you said,
21:27meron ng cyberbullying.
21:29Iba na yung dynamics
21:30compared dun sa bullying before.
21:32So we need new approach
21:34na tutugon dun sa mga bago
21:37sa dynamics ng bullying na to.
21:39That's why we are really advocating
21:42for an inclusive school culture,
21:44utilize empathy, focus on solutions,
21:47and then help us establish
21:50yung talagang mga services
21:54na kakailangan for this.
21:56And gaya po na nasabi nyo,
21:59tama na hindi lang kailangan teacher,
22:02yung accountable,
22:03hindi lang school administrator,
22:05lahat nang nasa loob na environment na to
22:08kun saan nangyayari ang bullying.
22:12At the heart of parents and loved ones
22:15ng na-victima nito,
22:17parang we just want our kids safe.
22:19Diba?
22:20More than yung rest back and ma-punish.
22:22Siguro they want that assurance
22:25na hindi na masasaktan ulit ang anak ko.
22:27And so that's why
22:28lahat tayo on the same page about that.
22:30We don't want kids hurt.
22:33And so, minsan,
22:35kailangan natin talaga mag-invest,
22:37diba?
22:38Sa mas long-term systemic na solution
22:43rather than yung parang
22:45sabi mo nga, parusan yung isa.
22:47Eh, social media bullying,
22:48meron akong kilala eh,
22:50na-expel na nga,
22:51pero hinaharas pa rin siya online.
22:53Kasi kahit wala siya sa school,
22:55diba?
22:56They have access to weather.
22:57They have access,
22:58so it didn't really stop.
23:00In fact, lalo pa nagkaroon ng grudge.
23:03So, yan.
23:04Nako, thank you so much, Michelle!
23:07At andami mong na-share sa amin
23:09and I'm sure marami kaming natutunan.
23:11Ako, definitely.
23:12Marami akong natutunan.
23:14So, thank you so much, Michelle!
23:17Thank you so much, Doc Anna!
23:19And if ever po,
23:20na kailangan nila ng
23:22information more about our
23:24No Bully Philippines,
23:26they can contact us at
23:270917-565-2037.
23:32So, ito po yung mga contact information namin.
23:35They can also visit our website,
23:38PMHA.org.ph
23:40or our official social media sites
23:43at PMHA Official.
23:45So, dun dun po yung mga essential information
23:48na about sa aming programa
23:50at iba pa po naming programa
23:52at Campaigns Against Bullying.
23:54So, thank you po.
23:55Thank you so much for having PMHA.
23:58And thank you, Michelle!
24:00And my gosh, all,
24:01we wish you all the best.
24:02We wish your program all the best.
24:04Sana, let's change, diba?
24:06Let's change this culture.
24:07Let's reverse it.
24:08Kung may gusto kayong pag-usapan,
24:11mag-iwan lang ng comment below
24:13or email us at
24:14sharecolang at gmainews.tv.
24:17We're also streaming
24:19ang Spotify,
24:20Apple Podcasts,
24:22and Google Podcasts.
24:24Thanks for tuning in!
25:07www.pamha.org.ph

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