Lois Lane and Clark Kent have been a thing for years, but it may surprise you to learn that Ms. Lane isn't the only woman to hit the sack with Superman. Here's a list of people who slept with Superman ā and survived.
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00:00Lois Lane and Clark Kent have been together for years, but it may surprise you to learn
00:03that Miss Lane isn't the only woman to hit the sack with Superman. Here's a list of people
00:07who slept with Superman ā and survived.
00:10Forever Superman's one true love, Lois Lane has been married to Superman for decades,
00:14in just about every medium. But Lois has no powers, which makes you think she'd never
00:17survive a role in The Hay With Him.
00:19We like to be alone for a little while.
00:22While supervillains like Darkseid have survived repeated poundings from the Man of Steel,
00:26so has Lois.
00:27There have been many strange things about Superman and Lois' relationship, but the fact
00:30that she wakes up each morning without a scratch says that Clark can be a tender lover. Not
00:34only that, but Lois and Clark have had children through natural means ā proof that his bodily
00:38fluids don't kill.
00:39Regardless of the danger, though, the amazing thing is that she's been able to carry his
00:42children without them destroying her from the inside. Oh, wait, they did. She was killed
00:46by her own fetus in an alternate timeline, which remains one of the most terrible things
00:50Superman has ever done.
00:52Lois Lane may be Superman's wife, but Lana Lang was Clark's first Earth girl. Lana met
00:56Clark growing up in Smallville.
00:58Listen, a whole bunch of us are going up to Mary Ellen's, play some records. Would you
01:04like to come?
01:06Sure.
01:07They were teenagers at the time, so their sexual involvement was typically implied rather
01:11than shown, but it was more explicit in the long-running Smallville TV series.
01:15In hindsight, it's remarkable that Clark didn't kill her in bed by accident. He was just getting
01:19used to his powers when they were together, and often couldn't control them. Either way,
01:23Clark wasn't the only Superman Lana hooked up with. In the comics, Lana was also involved
01:26with replacement Superman John Henry Irons, a.k.a. Steel, and the two eventually married.
01:32Because Irons was a mere mortal, she probably had a lot less to worry about when getting
01:35down and dirty. Unless, that is, they were into role play, because Steel's massive power
01:39hammer could do some real damage.
01:41Wonder Woman might be the only superhero who, at least on paper, makes an ideal sexual partner
01:46for Superman. Her powers make her Kal-El's equal. Also, her immortal status means he
01:50won't out-age her. The pair have been making whoopie in the comics for years.
01:54Often openly flirtatious, especially back in the Golden and Silver Age, but even after
01:58his marriage to Lois Lane, Superman and Wonder Woman are most clearly sexually involved in
02:02Frank Miller's Dark Knight universe and Mark Waid's Kingdom Come. In both stories, Superman
02:07fathers children with Princess Diana, so we know she can handle a night with him. Not
02:11everyone around them can, though, as their literally earth-shaking sex inadvertently
02:15kills countless civilians in one of the most disturbing moments in DC history.
02:19Wonder Woman's powers also mean Clark can show off his super-stamina for hours, or even
02:23days, on end. Hopefully, nobody interrupts them with an intergalactic emergency.
02:28First appearing in the late 80s in The Adventures of Superman No. 424, Cat Grant was introduced
02:33as the resident gossip columnist for the Daily Planet. Having recently been rebooted post-Crisis,
02:38Superman wasn't yet involved with Lois, so it wasn't all that odd that Grant was constantly
02:42flirting with her co-worker Clark.
02:44Our names look terrific side-by-side on that byline. It's like we were meant to be partners, Clark.
02:50And on at least one occasion, we can safely say that she got Clarky's pants off, even
02:54if she didn't know he was Superman. It happened in an issue written by John Byrne, when Lois
02:58drops by Clark's apartment. To Lois' surprise, it's not Clark, but Cat who answers the door,
03:03in her underwear. To make things more obvious, she says Clark is in the shower, and after
03:06Lois leaves, we see Clark getting dressed in front of Grant, a pretty obvious sign that
03:10the shower was wash-up after super-sex.
03:13Who's the new tied-in?
03:15Why don't you throw your usual forward pass and find out?
03:20Another ordinary human, Grant got lucky in more ways than one by surviving a night with
03:24the Man of Steel. Oddly enough, even after seeing him without glasses ā or clothes
03:28ā she never figured out who he was.
03:30Hailing from Jack Kirby's Fourth World comics, cosmic hero Big Barda might just be the next
03:35best lover for Superman after Wonder Woman.
03:37Hello, Barda.
03:38Diana, you didn't leave, like, an invisible plane in the driveway, right?
03:42But Barda is married to fellow Fourth Worlder Scott Pree, a.k.a. Mr. Miracle. So how the
03:47heck did the two sleep together? It was part of one of the strangest stories in Superman
03:51history, the one where Superman was brainwashed into making pornos. Not a joke.
03:55In Action Comics No. 593, a minion of Darkseid named Sleaze mind-controls Barda into making
04:01sexually explicit movies. Eventually, Superman comes under Sleaze's spell.
04:05Eventually, Superman comes under Sleaze's influence. And while we don't see their sex
04:09tape, Superman and Barda both acknowledge at the end of the issue that they rode the
04:12F train probably more than once. But Barda is as tough as they come and probably had
04:16no trouble taking on Superman ā repeatedly.
04:19When it comes to big-name superheroes who've spent a lively night with Superman, none matches
04:23the strangeness of Supergirl. No, not that Supergirl. The Supergirl who shook the sheets
04:28with Superman wasn't Kara Zor-El, but Linda Danvers, a new version introduced in the 90s
04:33by writer Peter David. This version of the character travels into the past of another
04:37Earth and becomes the official Supergirl there. While on Earth-1 in the past, Danvers develops
04:41feelings for that world's Kal-El, and as it turns out, Superman shares her affection,
04:45even though he thinks she's his cousin. He knows she isn't his world's Supergirl, but
04:49it's still odd. Though we don't see the pair do the deed, they fall in love, get married,
04:53and have a child.
04:55It takes a lot for Superman to cheat on Lois, and in at least one case, it took total memory
04:59loss. It was 1991, and Superman and Lois weren't yet married, but they were in a monogamous
05:04relationship. But Clark got lost on an island full of dinosaurs and primitive cave-dwelling
05:08humans and forgot. On the island, Superman meets Lo-La-La, a tempting cavewoman whose
05:13father leads their tribe. Lo-La-La wants Superman, which draws the ire of her father, who squares
05:17off with the amnesiac Superman in a contest of strength. Superman wins, obviously. Then
05:22Lo-La-La takes him off to a cave for a serious straddling. Sure, Superman says they should
05:27stop before things go any further, but the story cuts to some time later with the pair
05:31leaving the cave hand-in-hand. Not necessarily the strangest sexual pairing for Superman,
05:35but it's a scary one. Because when you think about it, a Superman with no identity, but
05:39still possessing all his powers, could have squished Lo-La-La like a bug. She must have
05:43been on top.
05:45Superman has slept with human women, supes, and aliens. But the strangest partner on his
05:49dance card has to be Lori Lamaris, an honest-to-goodness mermaid. This exploits happen off-panel in
05:55Superman 129, in a flashback to Clark's days at Metropolis University where he meets Lamaris,
06:00a fellow student. It turns out that Lamaris is actually a mermaid playing human, and the
06:04two wind up in a pretty serious romance. Plus, Lamaris isn't just a mermaid, but a telepathic
06:09mermaid, so she knows Clark as Superman. When she reveals the truth, that she eventually
06:13has to lose her legs and return to the sea, she breaks young Clark's heart.
06:17This brings us to Lyla Leryl, a kinky Kryptonian from the past where Superman finds himself
06:22in Superman 141 after accidentally flying too fast. Stuck on Krypton not long before
06:27it explodes, Superman checks up with the beautiful Lyla, a famous actor who's making a science
06:31fiction movie called The Space Explorers. Ever the gentleman, Superman jokes that her
06:35initials must be LL, and compares her favorably to Lois Lane and Lori Lamaris.
06:40Eventually, Clark and Lyla discover the wonders of love, and at Krypton, neither have powers,
06:44so there's no risk of physical injury unless one of them is into impact play. But the creepiest
06:49thing is that Superman knows she's about to die, with Krypton's destruction imminent.
06:53Moving from comics to cartoons, it's rare that we get much sex in Superman the Animated
06:58Series, but it's implied pretty strongly at times. Clark has a wild time on Apocalypse
07:02in the epic two-part episode Legacy.
07:04I chose wisely when I adopted you, Kal-El. You have honored me where others failed.
07:10Yep, once again he finds himself brainwashed into becoming Darkseid's right-hand man, as
07:15well as a sex toy for the female Furies, including Lashina, Stompa, and Mad Harriet.
07:20All hail King Kal!
07:22Way to go, big guy!
07:24This calls for a celebration.
07:26We even get a scene where the evil Superman and Lashina are enjoying a morning in bed
07:30together, and she refers to him bluntly as Lover. As denizens of Apocalypse, the female
07:35Furies can hold their own against Superman, but in a three-on-one situation, we might
07:39have to worry about Superman this time.
07:41In Action Comics number 651, while mourning Lois' death from their unborn baby's superkick,
07:46Superman escapes to space. And then it gets weirder. He meets Maxima, an interstellar
07:50warrior despot who needs a genetically compatible mate to produce a suitable heir, and she's
07:55determined to get boned by Superman.
07:57The Earth natives call him Superman.
08:00Hmm, Superman. I like those shoulders.
08:05After a trial by combat and some psychological manipulation, she seems to get her wish. We
08:10see them kiss, then cut to later that night as Superman looks out from her balcony while
08:14putting on his cape, the universal cue that they've just finished the horizontal mambo.
08:18Maxima convinces him she's more his speed than a mere human, and Superman admits he's
08:22always had to hold back with Lois. Watch out, Maxima, you might want to establish a safe
08:27word.
08:28Those Fourth World women really have Superman's number. First, Big Barda, then the female
08:32Furies. But they aren't the only ones to get Superman into bed. There's also the awkwardly
08:36named Beautiful Dreamer, a new god who doesn't sleep with Superman in the here and now, but
08:40in the 23rd century. Dreamer and Superman get together in the John Byrne-written Superman
08:45and Batman Generations 3, a series that shows how the characters might exist if they aged
08:49along with the rest of us. In one issue, we meet 23rd-century Superman, Lois is long gone,
08:54and Dreamer is his wife.
08:55As a new god, she shouldn't have any fear that Superman's foot fetish might result in
08:59a broken ankle, and as immortals, they have as much time as they need to explore every
09:03position imaginable.
09:04Of course, things in the bedroom will inevitably get stale given a few centuries.