Los_Tres_Badasses_Que_Me_Quieren_sub_es_ReelShort_The_Three_Badasses
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00:00:00Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:00:07Angela, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:00:10I don't understand why you do so much for him behind the scenes without ever revealing
00:00:14your true identity.
00:00:15Now sign the divorce paper.
00:00:16Baby.
00:00:17I'll sign it.
00:00:18But don't move right ahead.
00:00:28My lovely princess, I have selected three prime young men for you to choose from.
00:00:33I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:00:39You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:00:41I'm going.
00:00:42I need to pick up my bride.
00:00:43Don't desert my warplane.
00:00:44Don't do what you have to my fiance.
00:00:45What's the situation here?
00:00:46I want to marry you.
00:00:47I want to marry you.
00:00:48Ellen Musk, the only woman on the Forbes 30 under 30 list, arrives in Atlanta today.
00:01:14What a business tycoon is doing here in Georgia, a forgotten stage no one knows.
00:01:19Angela, my next door neighbor, still selling your hippie junk here?
00:01:23If your mother-in-law sees, she's going to throw a big fit again.
00:01:28Your mother-in-law was right about you.
00:01:31What's the point of watching the news all day about these moguls if you can't even apply
00:01:34it to your penniless self?
00:01:35And how do you know that this is none of my business?
00:01:40All right, everybody get out.
00:01:44We got an important guest coming.
00:01:48You.
00:01:53You deaf?
00:01:54I said pack up and scram.
00:01:55I paid the staff here already.
00:01:56And if you want me to leave, then fine, but you have to compensate for today's losses.
00:02:02You want to say that again?
00:02:06You know who's visiting today?
00:02:08Ellen freaking Musk, one of the richest people in the world.
00:02:12Ellen Musk?
00:02:13Of course a hick like you probably never heard of her.
00:02:15Just know that you can't afford to piss her off.
00:02:19Really?
00:02:20Ellen Musk is flying all the way to Atlanta just to come to some flea market.
00:02:25You don't think that she could be coming to see me?
00:02:29Ha ha ha.
00:02:32Coming to see you?
00:02:33All right.
00:02:34You know what?
00:02:35I'll play your game.
00:02:36If she does it so much as give you a glance, I'll eat dirt.
00:02:43Deal.
00:02:52Ellen Musk, get to the flea market within ten minutes.
00:02:56Or else, you're fired.
00:03:13Prepare the limo.
00:03:15Ms. Lockhart requires us immediately.
00:03:24Ah, your ten minutes is almost up.
00:03:26Good.
00:03:27Hope you don't wet your pants.
00:03:29Five.
00:03:30Four.
00:03:33Three.
00:03:35Two.
00:03:37One.
00:03:38Two.
00:03:40One.
00:03:43Ellen!
00:03:44Uh, I mean, Ms. Musk!
00:03:46Uh, Ellen!
00:03:47Uh, I mean, uh, I'm sorry that I, uh, sorry to frighten you.
00:03:53How's my boss bitch?
00:03:54Kickin' ass, girlfriend.
00:03:56So, how do you, like...
00:03:59She's my boss.
00:04:01Eh, I prefer business partner or best friend.
00:04:06No way.
00:04:08Okay.
00:04:10Well?
00:04:13No.
00:04:14No!
00:04:15No, no, I'm sorry for offending your boss!
00:04:17No, I won't do it again!
00:04:21Alright, that's enough.
00:04:23We're not tyrants here.
00:04:31Sir, I found Angela Lockhart.
00:04:38You mean Angela Lockhart.
00:04:41The Hunterly Bride.
00:04:44You made me lose one million dollars in just one game of poker!
00:04:49Who are you?
00:04:52Where is she?
00:04:54Atlanta.
00:04:55And you were right.
00:04:56It was secretly her propping up Ellen Musk.
00:04:58My clever bride.
00:05:00I will chase you to the end of the world if I have to.
00:05:03Max, prep the jet.
00:05:05I'm heading to Atlanta.
00:05:11Dr. Wilson, Devin Sterling's on the move.
00:05:13He's headed to Atlanta.
00:05:14Atlanta?
00:05:15The game is afoot.
00:05:16I'm going.
00:05:17Wait, Dr. Wilson.
00:05:18The Prince of Bhutan needs your medical attention.
00:05:20He can wait.
00:05:21I need to pick up my bride.
00:05:26But Dr. Wilson!
00:05:29I'm going to Atlanta.
00:05:32Dr. Wilson!
00:05:38General Eisenhower reporting, sir!
00:05:41Devin Sterling and Shane Wilson are headed to Atlanta!
00:05:44Atlanta!
00:05:47Where is that?
00:05:48Whatever!
00:05:49Prepare my war plate!
00:05:50Those two are going after my fiancée.
00:05:53This is war.
00:05:59No.
00:06:02No.
00:06:11I've secretly allowed your husband, Jared Cooper,
00:06:13to win the bid on the Maple Plaza project,
00:06:15like you asked me to.
00:06:17Thank you so much, Ellen.
00:06:19This is going to be the best anniversary gift ever.
00:06:21That project is worth billions.
00:06:23He can finally take his company public.
00:06:25But, Angela,
00:06:27my boss,
00:06:29I don't understand why you do so much for him
00:06:31behind the scenes without ever
00:06:33revealing your true identity.
00:06:35Without your backing?
00:06:37No offense, but he's nothing without you.
00:06:40Well, three years ago...
00:06:59You saved me.
00:07:05He saved me, and I fell in love with him instantly.
00:07:09I didn't want to reveal my true identity
00:07:11because I didn't want him to feel the pressure
00:07:13of being with a billionaire heiress.
00:07:15But now, with this contract,
00:07:18I feel like we'll be on more equal footing
00:07:20and then I can finally come out to the public.
00:07:23So that's why you have me secretly helping him.
00:07:27I'm sure he'll be moved when he finds out.
00:07:31But why work at the flea market?
00:07:33Are you...
00:07:35disguising yourself to test him?
00:07:37Well, these exotic spices
00:07:39are incredibly rare
00:07:41and cost a fortune to find.
00:07:43Plus, I get to make the best dishes
00:07:45for my hubby and his mom.
00:07:47You seem happy being a housewife.
00:07:49Yeah.
00:07:51No.
00:07:53No.
00:07:55Where the hell are you?
00:07:57Don't tell me you were selling junk
00:07:59at the flea market again.
00:08:01Get home, stat.
00:08:03It's a big day today.
00:08:05That was...
00:08:07My mother-in-law, Carol.
00:08:09She judges me because she thinks
00:08:11I come from a lower-class family.
00:08:13But she's gonna be ecstatic tonight
00:08:15when I finally come out and tell her who I really am.
00:08:19You know, she even remembered our third-year anniversary.
00:08:23Please spend more time with my son.
00:08:27Hi, I'm home.
00:08:29I have a big announcement I have to make.
00:08:31Finally, you're back.
00:08:33Now sign the divorce papers.
00:08:37Divorce papers?
00:08:39Is this some sort of
00:08:41misunderstanding, Mom?
00:08:43God!
00:08:45Don't call me Mom again.
00:08:47We're ending that relationship.
00:08:49Just look at me.
00:08:51Just look at you.
00:08:53Dirt all over.
00:08:55You're selling the title of Mrs. Cooper.
00:08:57You don't deserve my son.
00:08:59You're way below his league.
00:09:01I'm below his league?
00:09:03That's right.
00:09:05You are.
00:09:07Jared is signing a $100 billion
00:09:09contract tomorrow with
00:09:11the Ellen Musk.
00:09:13And then his company's going public.
00:09:15That's how much he's accomplished
00:09:17in three years.
00:09:20You're still just a stinky,
00:09:22hippie peddler.
00:09:24Jared's like the king in the clouds.
00:09:26And you...
00:09:28You will always
00:09:30just be a pawn.
00:09:32Like dirt
00:09:34on our shoes.
00:09:36Dirt on your shoes?
00:09:38But Ellen Musk
00:09:40works for me.
00:09:42You're delusional.
00:09:44You will never upgrade to a queen.
00:09:46How dare you compare yourself
00:09:48to the real deal here?
00:09:50Resorting to lies
00:09:52is definitely not good enough
00:09:54for Jared.
00:09:56And who are you
00:09:58to come into my house and meddle
00:10:00with my family matters?
00:10:02You're nothing
00:10:04but a pathetic excuse for a wife.
00:10:08Jared deserves a queen
00:10:10like Kaylee, not a lowlife
00:10:12dirtbag. Enough!
00:10:14Jared...
00:10:17I knew you wouldn't divorce me.
00:10:19But I am.
00:10:22Don't fight it, Angela.
00:10:24Here's 500K.
00:10:26You'll never make this much as a
00:10:28hippie peddler selling spices.
00:10:30Now sign the papers, take a check,
00:10:32and leave. Don't embarrass yourself
00:10:34further.
00:10:36I've done
00:10:38so much for you these past
00:10:40three years.
00:10:42Did that not mean anything to you?
00:10:44Didn't expect you to be so greedy.
00:10:47Fine.
00:10:49Here's another 200K.
00:10:51500K is too much
00:10:53for her already. She's done
00:10:55nothing. Hasn't even contributed
00:10:57a grandchild.
00:10:59She just sells cheap grass all day.
00:11:01Is that really
00:11:03how much I'm worth to all of you?
00:11:05I took care of both
00:11:07of you these past three years.
00:11:09You think
00:11:11we can't just hire a maid
00:11:13to cook for us or something?
00:11:15She wouldn't embarrass us with that
00:11:17permanent stench.
00:11:19A hippie peddler becoming the
00:11:21wife of a CEO?
00:11:23What a joke. If you
00:11:25actually love my son,
00:11:27you'll sign the damn divorce papers
00:11:29already. And leave!
00:11:33You really think that Jared
00:11:35would have gotten that Mabel Plaza bid without
00:11:37me? Let alone taking the company
00:11:39public?
00:11:41I did everything for you,
00:11:43Jared. Now you take credit
00:11:45for my son's success?
00:11:51It's all
00:11:53my work.
00:11:55Baby, we're gonna be
00:11:57late for the auction if we keep
00:11:59letting this psycho
00:12:01stall us.
00:12:03You did say you would win me
00:12:05Princess Diana's tiara, didn't you?
00:12:07So,
00:12:09she's the reason for the divorce.
00:12:11She's worth more than
00:12:13you, Angela.
00:12:15Fine.
00:12:17I'll sign it.
00:12:19But don't regret it.
00:12:23Regret?
00:12:25Do I know who I am?
00:12:27Yeah, a cockroach that only knows how to
00:12:29crawl her way into a married man's bed.
00:12:31I'm Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
00:12:35Jared winning the bid on
00:12:37Mabel Plaza was because
00:12:39of my dad. Because he's business
00:12:41partners with Elon Musk.
00:12:43It's part of the power
00:12:45that I have
00:12:47as an elite.
00:12:49You can't do shit because you're poor.
00:12:51Social stratum matters.
00:12:53Yeah.
00:12:55Social stratum does matter.
00:12:57And the Coopers
00:12:59are beneath me.
00:13:01And you really think Elon Musk
00:13:03would come to Atlanta if it weren't
00:13:05for me?
00:13:07You're delusional.
00:13:09Now sign the papers and
00:13:11scram!
00:13:13Ah!
00:13:15You owe me.
00:13:17You dirty bitch. You sicken me.
00:13:19Ah!
00:13:25You hit me.
00:13:29Now sign the papers,
00:13:31take your check, and get the fuck out!
00:13:37I
00:13:49don't need your penny money.
00:13:51We're
00:13:53finished. You don't want the money?
00:13:55That's your loss.
00:13:57Your check is just pennies
00:13:59to me. But
00:14:01I would like my ring back.
00:14:03I don't want it.
00:14:07Ah.
00:14:11Have fun
00:14:13on your economy flight
00:14:15while I catch a ride on my private
00:14:17helicopter out of here.
00:14:23And I'm way out of your
00:14:25league.
00:14:29Isn't that
00:14:31the Winston Blue Diamond Ring?
00:14:33It's worth tens
00:14:35of millions of dollars.
00:14:37Oh, it's probably
00:14:39just cheap glass.
00:14:41Something she found at the flea market.
00:14:43You're right. She could never afford
00:14:45anything so expensive.
00:14:49Congrats, Jared
00:14:51Boo Boo, on getting rid of that dirt bag.
00:14:53Oh!
00:14:55My dad says there's gonna be
00:14:57a secret big shot financial
00:14:59tycoon at tomorrow's summit.
00:15:01Bigger big shot than
00:15:03Elon Musk? Yeah.
00:15:05And nobody's met them, but I can
00:15:07introduce you.
00:15:09Everything's thanks to you, babe.
00:15:27Angela, Mr. Vanderbilt,
00:15:29the richest man in Georgia, wants to schedule a
00:15:31meeting before the bidding. Vanderbilt?
00:15:33Yeah, he's actually CEO
00:15:35of one of our companies. Basically, our
00:15:37employee. Okay, I'll meet him at the summit tomorrow.
00:15:39It's fine. You're still going
00:15:41to the summit tomorrow? But you and Jared Cooper are already
00:15:43divorced. That's exactly
00:15:45why I'm going.
00:16:01Angela Lockhart,
00:16:03I finally found you.
00:16:05Who is he?
00:16:07That? That's
00:16:09Devin Sterling. He's number one
00:16:11on Forbes' 30 under 30 list,
00:16:13an early investor of crypto,
00:16:15CEO of Sterling Enterprises.
00:16:17Rumor has it he's worth trillions.
00:16:19And he's
00:16:21your fiancé.
00:16:23What?
00:16:25I don't know.
00:16:27I don't know.
00:16:29Your fiancé.
00:16:31What?
00:16:33My fiancé? The one and only.
00:16:37So, after running away
00:16:39and leaving me single for three years,
00:16:41have you figured
00:16:43out how you're going to make it up to me yet?
00:16:45Babe?
00:16:53That tiara
00:16:55looks perfect on you.
00:16:59What is
00:17:01she doing here?
00:17:05You skank!
00:17:07My son just divorced you yesterday
00:17:09and you're already hooking up with another man?
00:17:11Divorced?
00:17:13That's right.
00:17:15So, I guess this
00:17:17was never meant to be, Mr...
00:17:19Sterling.
00:17:21Devin Sterling.
00:17:23So she has to hide
00:17:25her marital status to find another man.
00:17:27Guess she's not just a forsaken
00:17:29woman, she's also a stinky
00:17:31penniless whore.
00:17:35How dare you insult my
00:17:37boss like that.
00:17:39Who the fuck are you, bitch?
00:17:41Do you know who I am?
00:17:43They don't know
00:17:45who you are.
00:17:47You hide it well.
00:17:49X-Team!
00:17:51Teach these fools a lesson.
00:17:53Teach these
00:17:55fools a lesson.
00:17:59Sir,
00:18:01you were kind of in a rush when you flew to Atlanta
00:18:03and then to New York.
00:18:05You forgot to bring the security team.
00:18:11Mind if I
00:18:13borrow your men?
00:18:19Toss these ill-mannered apes out!
00:18:21Oh!
00:18:23You bitch! I'll have my son teach you
00:18:25a real lesson!
00:18:31A kiss
00:18:33as a reward, my lady.
00:18:35No.
00:18:43Guest list is very
00:18:45distinguished tonight.
00:18:47You've got Bill Ford,
00:18:49Harvey Buffett, old money
00:18:51like me. Gentlemen,
00:18:53Harvey, Bill, this is Jared Cooper.
00:18:55Pleased to meet you all. Your families
00:18:57all started empires after the Industrial
00:18:59Revolution. What an honor.
00:19:01I heard you secured the Maple Plaza
00:19:03project. It's worth billions of
00:19:05dollars. Congrats.
00:19:07You'll be next. Thank you.
00:19:09But we haven't received the contract yet.
00:19:11We deserve it. Oh, that's nothing.
00:19:13I introduced this kid to Ellen Musk.
00:19:15Vanderbilts and Miss Musk have always had a good
00:19:17relationship. So,
00:19:19thought I'd help the kid out, pull a few
00:19:21strings. Thank you, Mr.
00:19:23Manager. Now, we just
00:19:25have to impress Miss Musk's special
00:19:27guest of honor. Yes.
00:19:29I heard they're a very important
00:19:31and powerful guest.
00:19:33Even wealthier than Ellen
00:19:35Musk. Now, if we can just
00:19:37secure a position with this big
00:19:39shot, we can feast
00:19:41for generations.
00:19:43I'll do my
00:19:45best.
00:19:49Excuse me.
00:19:51A second, gentlemen.
00:19:53What if it's the Prince of Bhutan?
00:19:57How did a hobo like you
00:19:59sneak in here?
00:20:01Me? A hobo?
00:20:03How did a cheating scumbag like you
00:20:05sneak in here? You sleep your way in?
00:20:07I told you, Angela Lockhart, don't
00:20:09bother stalking me. Nothing will come
00:20:11of it, and it only sickens me further.
00:20:13Don't flatter yourself.
00:20:17This
00:20:19is your ex-husband?
00:20:21What, were you blindfolded
00:20:23when you married him?
00:20:25Who the hell is this? You were cheating
00:20:27on me?
00:20:29Son, you
00:20:41have to avenge me and Kaylie.
00:20:43That wicked ex-wife of yours
00:20:45hired some thugs and a gigolo
00:20:47to beat us up.
00:20:49They even took Kaylie's tiara!
00:20:59You dare
00:21:03hurt my mom and Kaylie?
00:21:07Get your hands off of her!
00:21:13My lady.
00:21:29My queen.
00:21:41It's...
00:21:43It's him!
00:21:45He scammed a million dollars off me in a game of poker yesterday!
00:21:47Who are these peasants?
00:21:49These seats
00:21:51are reserved for thee, Ellen Musk,
00:21:53and her special guest.
00:21:55Oh, shut up, old man.
00:21:57You're disturbing the peace.
00:22:01Fuckers, you know who that is?
00:22:03That's Eric Vanderbilt.
00:22:05You have any idea how many generations of wealth
00:22:07he has? His ancestors built
00:22:09the railway and steamship empire
00:22:11of America. This civil war would not
00:22:13have been won without his family's involvement.
00:22:15Vanderbilt.
00:22:17The father of that
00:22:19skank, Kaylie
00:22:21Vanderbilt, who only knows how to
00:22:23crawl her way into a married man's
00:22:25bed. That
00:22:27only Vanderbilt family?
00:22:35Oh, goddammit!
00:22:37Stomachache now?
00:22:41Whatever.
00:22:43Angela can handle herself. She'll be fine.
00:22:55How dare you
00:22:57call one of us low?
00:22:59I'm Harvey F. N. Buffett,
00:23:01the most important investor in the entire
00:23:03stock market.
00:23:05I can wipe you out
00:23:07with a simple pinky only.
00:23:09And I can wipe you out
00:23:11with just a strand of my hair.
00:23:13Not with me around.
00:23:15I, Bill Ford, and the entire
00:23:17Ford Auto Empire stand with these gentlemen.
00:23:19You're all just peasants
00:23:21compared to who I really am.
00:23:23You're fuckin' delusional, Angela.
00:23:25We've had enough of your games.
00:23:27Security!
00:23:29Break their limbs and toss them out.
00:23:31Looks like the old guard is teaming up
00:23:33against ya.
00:23:35But don't worry.
00:23:37You got new money.
00:23:39I can handle myself,
00:23:41thank you.
00:23:43You're all
00:23:45despicable.
00:23:47An insult to your family names.
00:23:49You're all
00:23:51an insult to your family names.
00:23:55Now,
00:23:57it's my turn to rule.
00:23:59Destroy Jared
00:24:01Cooper. Cut off
00:24:03all business ties.
00:24:05And if you don't,
00:24:07I will take away
00:24:09all of your family's wealth
00:24:11and power.
00:24:13I knew it! You're here to fuck with me.
00:24:15You can't fool anyone here.
00:24:17How much money did you spend on that getup?
00:24:19To hire that gigolo to make me jealous?
00:24:21You're an orphan
00:24:23who sells hippie spices at a
00:24:25flea market. You have nothing
00:24:27and you will always be
00:24:29nothing.
00:24:31She's a gold digger.
00:24:33Gold digger?
00:24:35Gigolo.
00:24:37Wanna try me for a night?
00:24:39Yeah, you're a little too pricey.
00:24:41Mr. Vanderbilt, we really shouldn't keep these bandits here
00:24:43any longer. They might upset
00:24:45Miss Ellen Musk and her special guest.
00:24:47Angela Lockhart is my spurned ex-wife.
00:24:49She's only here to try and ruin my bill in the Maple Plaza project.
00:24:51Oh, I'm gonna kill that
00:24:53sushi chef! Security!
00:24:59Security!
00:25:01You all don't realize
00:25:03that you actually all work for me.
00:25:05And now you're trying to throw a coup?
00:25:07You!
00:25:09Insolent fools.
00:25:11Let me guess.
00:25:13You're that special guest?
00:25:15I don't know.
00:25:17Throw them out!
00:25:19And not without some broken bones, too.
00:25:27Back down, ass.
00:25:33I got this.
00:25:45Whoa.
00:25:59What the hell
00:26:01are you two doing here?
00:26:03I thought we were supposed to guard you.
00:26:05No, you're supposed to make sure Miss Lockhart is okay.
00:26:07Oh my
00:26:09God, we're so screwed!
00:26:15Whoa.
00:26:19Angela!
00:26:21Don't hurt her.
00:26:23You bitch. I've always been sick of you.
00:26:25You just threw yourself at me.
00:26:27How dare you insult my boss like that.
00:26:29Boss?
00:26:31Did she say her boss?
00:26:33Miss Musk? That's Ellen Musk?
00:26:35That woman right there is Angela Lockhart.
00:26:37My boss and sole heiress
00:26:39to the Henry Lockhart's fortune.
00:26:41Their lineage is older than this country itself.
00:26:43Past the American Revolution?
00:26:45Back to the Renaissance.
00:26:47If she's your boss,
00:26:49then that means Angela Lockhart is...
00:26:51That's Lady Lockhart to you.
00:26:53She's royalty.
00:26:55And since you're all subsidiaries, she's your boss's boss.
00:26:57What the hell did you do?
00:26:59Kneel to me.
00:27:01Oh, your majesty.
00:27:03Welcome
00:27:05to the United States.
00:27:07We've always been your loyal subjects.
00:27:09Yes, your highness.
00:27:11Is it a queen or prince?
00:27:13It doesn't matter.
00:27:15My queen,
00:27:17please forgive our insolence.
00:27:19We didn't mean to offend.
00:27:21What are you doing, idiot?
00:27:23Let go of the boss lady
00:27:25and beg for forgiveness.
00:27:35What rightfully belongs to you.
00:27:41She's a badass herself.
00:27:43He missed out on a good wife.
00:27:45You.
00:27:47You.
00:27:49You told me your wife was a hippie peddler.
00:27:51Turns out you were the freeloading scumbag
00:27:53this entire time.
00:27:55No, no, don't believe their lies.
00:27:57I work hard for everything.
00:27:59I don't believe them.
00:28:01I don't believe them.
00:28:03I don't believe them.
00:28:05I don't believe them.
00:28:07I don't believe them.
00:28:09I don't believe their lies.
00:28:11I work hard for everything.
00:28:13You worked for everything?
00:28:17Hi, honey.
00:28:19So,
00:28:21our 30th anniversary is coming up
00:28:23and I thought that maybe
00:28:25we can do something special this year?
00:28:27I can't focus on anything trivial like that.
00:28:29I have to figure out this bid
00:28:31for the Maple Closet project
00:28:33and if I get it,
00:28:35I can take the company public.
00:28:37Oh.
00:28:41You were nothing before me.
00:28:43All your achievements,
00:28:45all your glory,
00:28:47that's all mine.
00:28:49Including the Maple Closet contract.
00:28:51I can take
00:28:53all of that away.
00:28:55Just like that.
00:28:57No, you can't take that away from me.
00:28:59That's why Ellen Musk was urging us to pass on deals
00:29:01to this nobody.
00:29:03Oh, and this antique wedding ring?
00:29:05Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
00:29:07It was Queen Victoria's
00:29:09and it's worth is equivalent to more than
00:29:11an entire country's GDP.
00:29:17Oh.
00:29:19I gave you back the ring?
00:29:21I divorced a royal heiress?
00:29:23No!
00:29:25No, please!
00:29:27No, please take me back, baby!
00:29:29I still love you!
00:29:31Nice.
00:29:33Oh, man.
00:29:35Looks like they've started the party without us.
00:29:37No one's allowed to start a fight
00:29:39without Cole Eisenhower!
00:29:47God, these two again.
00:29:49Did he say, is he Cole Eisenhower?
00:29:51President Eisenhower's descendant.
00:29:53After General Eisenhower won World War II,
00:29:55each of his descendants
00:29:57have all gone on to become five-star generals,
00:29:59the highest rank in the nation's military.
00:30:01The buffoons know your history.
00:30:03Sorry I'm late, babe.
00:30:05I got lost trying to find Atlanta.
00:30:07Then lost again on my way back to New York.
00:30:13And that there is,
00:30:15that is the legendary,
00:30:17the boy genius, Dr. Wilson.
00:30:19He's Dr. House's protege!
00:30:21Dr. House? I thought that was just a TV show.
00:30:23Oh, no, that's based on real figures.
00:30:25Yep, that's me.
00:30:27Son of James House.
00:30:29Practically my uncle.
00:30:31I correctly diagnosed the Pope before him
00:30:33when I was just 12 years old.
00:30:35So he's been off carrying himself a waterfall
00:30:37somewhere in the Netherlands for the last 15 months.
00:30:39And I'm late
00:30:41because I ran out of gum and had to make a pit stop.
00:30:47Hey, Ellen.
00:30:49Who are these weirdos, and why are they here?
00:30:51Uh, they're all your
00:30:53fiancées.
00:30:55What?
00:30:57Fiancés.
00:30:59Plural?
00:31:01Fiancés. Plural?
00:31:03Watch it, nerds.
00:31:05I'm her fiancé.
00:31:07No, I'm her fiancé.
00:31:09You can both shut up. I'm her fiancé.
00:31:11It's you.
00:31:13It's me. Who the hell is he?
00:31:15I'm Spider-Man.
00:31:17How are all three
00:31:19of these men
00:31:21my fiancé?
00:31:23Your father had arranged these engagements years ago,
00:31:25but I can't tell you because he decided to marry Jared Cooper
00:31:27at the time.
00:31:29She has three badass fiancés
00:31:31and she marries his dumb ass.
00:31:35Whatever.
00:31:37Since you're all here,
00:31:39help me finish him.
00:31:43Since you're all here,
00:31:45help me finish him.
00:31:47At your service.
00:31:49Me too.
00:31:55One down, two more to go.
00:31:57She's become queen.
00:31:59Bishop to G4.
00:32:03Ow! Ow!
00:32:05What is that?
00:32:07The most German fest and water
00:32:09in the Nile River.
00:32:13Rook to A8.
00:32:19Hello.
00:32:21I thought I was king.
00:32:23No, you wish.
00:32:25The king doesn't do anything,
00:32:27so Alan can be my king.
00:32:29Oh, fine.
00:32:33Bankrupt to four.
00:32:35It's right this second.
00:32:41I...
00:32:43I've been bankrupt!
00:32:45No!
00:32:47Who is...
00:32:51I've been bankrupt!
00:32:53No!
00:32:55I told you I would remove all of you
00:32:57from status and power if you didn't cooperate.
00:32:59Well, guess what?
00:33:01Game over.
00:33:03All right, boys.
00:33:05Let's figure out this four-way engagement.
00:33:07Oh, that's serious business.
00:33:09I'm right with you.
00:33:11Wait for me.
00:33:13Nobody beats me to the finish line.
00:33:21Angela!
00:33:25You already have three fiancés?
00:33:27You can't accuse me of cheating.
00:33:29I want compensation.
00:33:33You greedy SOB.
00:33:35Who the fuck is that?
00:33:37My ex-husband.
00:33:39Wait, you were married?
00:33:41Yeah, and if that's a problem for you,
00:33:43then you can totally back out of this engagement.
00:33:45More for me.
00:33:47No, no, of course not.
00:33:49Just...
00:33:51Do you want me to check your eyes for you?
00:33:53Don't steal my joke.
00:33:55I can make him disappear without a trace.
00:33:57All evidence of your past with him will be gone.
00:33:59What?
00:34:01Is there something on my face?
00:34:03Yeah, murderous intent.
00:34:05Let's remarry.
00:34:07Let's remarry.
00:34:09You still don't realize.
00:34:11I only fell in love with you
00:34:13because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:15I only fell in love with you
00:34:17because you saved me from drowning three years ago.
00:34:19...
00:34:37...
00:34:43Sir, it's an emergency!
00:34:45We need to wreck right away.
00:34:47Nicole Eisenhower and Shane Wilson are causing mayhem at the company warehouse.
00:34:51Okay, I'm on my way.
00:34:55She should be okay now.
00:35:00Hey you! Watch over her. I'll be right back.
00:35:12You saved me.
00:35:14Fuck. I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:21Fuck. I unwittingly gave away my own wife.
00:35:24You've cheated on me. You've hit me. You've insulted me.
00:35:29And after all that, I never want to see you again.
00:35:33I fucking hate you.
00:35:36Lady Lockhart!
00:35:38What now?
00:35:40Yes, we understand that you are a very busy person.
00:35:45But if you're not going to give your ex-husband the Maple Plaza project...
00:35:49How about us three?
00:35:50Yes, unlike that scumbag, we won't turn on you.
00:35:54Yeah, no. You're all fired for trying to throw a coup.
00:35:57But...
00:35:59This is your fault, you doofus! We never should have believed your bullshit!
00:36:03No! No!
00:36:05We can't lose our positions with Ellen Musk and the Lockharts.
00:36:10Our family!
00:36:12I'll get you for this!
00:36:19I never should have listened to you!
00:36:21I'm ruined because of you!
00:36:36So, what's the situation here?
00:36:40I want to marry you!
00:36:50I want to marry you!
00:36:53Listen, I only met you guys a few hours ago.
00:36:57And I'm not interested in flash marriages.
00:37:00But what if I told you that we've known each other for much longer than just a few hours?
00:37:06Much longer?
00:37:10Angela?
00:37:12Your parents would like to have a video call with all of you.
00:37:19My lovely princess, how are you?
00:37:22Look, your mother and I are in Italy!
00:37:24The views here are absolutely stunning!
00:37:27Perfect for a wedding, wouldn't you say?
00:37:29I heard you finally divorced that good-for-nothing, blood-sucking, freeloader husband of yours.
00:37:37I can't recall his name, but...
00:37:39Anyway, congratulations!
00:37:41I've selected three prime young men for you to choose from to replace him.
00:37:46You must pick one of them to marry, otherwise...
00:37:50Let me do it.
00:37:52You must choose one of them in seven days.
00:37:55Otherwise, we'll kill ourselves.
00:37:59Mom!
00:38:00Alright, honey, that's it.
00:38:02Bye! Bye!
00:38:07So, who are you going to choose?
00:38:12Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:17Well, what if I want all three of you?
00:38:23That seems greedy.
00:38:30But I can always remove the other two options.
00:38:34Hey, I may be a doctor, but I can take lives too.
00:38:38I know and have access to all the deadliest poisons in the world.
00:38:43Well, okay. No murder, please. I was just kidding.
00:38:49You have seven days to win her over.
00:38:51Ooh, it's like The Bachelorette.
00:38:54I know. We'll start with challenge one.
00:38:58Welcome to the show, The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
00:39:02Today, we have our first challenge.
00:39:07What is all of this, Ellen?
00:39:10You'll see.
00:39:18Oh my God! Oh my God! Cockroaches!
00:39:21All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:39:24All women are afraid of cockroaches.
00:39:27And it is every man's job to save their beloved woman from this monstrosity of a creature.
00:39:32What will our three candidates do to prove their undying love for our single woman,
00:39:37but screaming her head off heiress?
00:39:47Looks like one of our contestants has already called it quits.
00:39:50It's up to the final two.
00:39:54Oh my God!
00:40:14Crunchy.
00:40:16That is sick, Cole.
00:40:18Hey, when you're stranded in the middle of the battlefield, you'll be glad to see one of these around.
00:40:24There are two more left. Want to try one?
00:40:27God, no! No!
00:40:30Oh my gosh, save me!
00:40:32Save you? Save me!
00:40:37I'm a German folk doctor. These hands can't get germs on them.
00:40:40They're for surgery and saving lives.
00:40:54Thank God you're here.
00:40:58Are you alright, honey?
00:41:00Angela!
00:41:04Alright, you won the first challenge, so your reward,
00:41:07you get to watch over her for the night.
00:41:10Just don't cross the line, if you know what I mean.
00:41:13I'm not her scumbag husband. You have nothing to worry about.
00:41:17Honestly, even if you guys fuck, it's not like it's against the rules or anything.
00:41:20At least my girl can get some.
00:41:22I bet her husband has a small dick, anyway.
00:41:27The cockroaches!
00:41:28They're gone, they're gone.
00:41:30There's nothing in this room except you and me, okay?
00:41:33I'm going to kill Ellen when I see her tomorrow.
00:41:41I'm going to kill you.
00:41:45I need a drink.
00:41:55Whoa, easy! You're on an empty stomach.
00:41:58Why do you care?
00:42:01I'm trying to drink away your sorrows, Angela.
00:42:05You guys were right.
00:42:08I was blind from marrying that asshole.
00:42:11You know, I wasted three whole years of my life with him.
00:42:16He never even loved me.
00:42:19And I gave up my entire career for him.
00:42:25Do you really think that you would still be number one on the Forbes 30 under 30 list if I was around?
00:42:32You may not be number one on Forbes list,
00:42:35but you know what you're number one in?
00:42:39You know what you're number one in?
00:42:41What?
00:42:45You're number one here.
00:42:52You know, we've known each other kind of a long time.
00:42:55Lies.
00:42:59You all just want something from me.
00:43:02Angela,
00:43:05I know it's hard to trust again.
00:43:08But I assure you,
00:43:11I don't care what family you're from.
00:43:14I'm the richest man in the nation.
00:43:17I don't need your power,
00:43:20your status, your wealth,
00:43:23your connections.
00:43:26I just need you.
00:43:30I'll prove my love to you within six days.
00:43:33I promise.
00:43:44Screw the contest.
00:43:47I just want love.
00:43:50Angela, you're drunk.
00:43:53I'm an adult. Can't I just go get what she wants?
00:43:56It's okay.
00:44:00But love and sex aren't exactly the same thing.
00:44:04Well, they're not mutually exclusive either.
00:44:15If this is what you want.
00:44:30Oh.
00:44:46Nine inch penis.
00:44:49Morning to you too.
00:44:52You sure you were drunk last night?
00:44:55A girl remembers when she's had a nine inch penis inside of her.
00:44:58Well, glad you enjoyed it.
00:45:01But don't tell Shane or Cole.
00:45:04Because then they would...
00:45:07Say that you were being unfair?
00:45:10Technically us having sex doesn't break any rules.
00:45:13I won the first challenge,
00:45:16and according to Ellen,
00:45:19my prize was to spend the night with you anyways.
00:45:22Don't make this any harder than it already is.
00:45:26You sure you don't want it pretty hard?
00:45:29Stop.
00:45:32Fine, fine, fine.
00:45:35I won't tell.
00:45:38But only on one condition.
00:45:43I won't tell.
00:45:46But only on one condition.
00:45:49You have to go out on a date with me.
00:45:52Fine.
00:45:55I've had a crush on you since college, Angela.
00:45:58You never noticed me.
00:46:03You should get dressed and get out of here
00:46:06before anyone sees you.
00:46:09It's only 7am. She's still sleeping.
00:46:12I'm not sleeping alone.
00:46:15Yeah, I'm not letting my fiance be alone with another man for another second.
00:46:18Morning, gentlemen.
00:46:21Or shall I say ruffmen?
00:46:25Morning, Tim.
00:46:28What's up, guys?
00:46:31We're ready for the second challenge.
00:46:34No cockroaches this time.
00:46:37Yes, no more terrifying things. That was my bad, Angela.
00:46:40This better be a good challenge, Ellen.
00:46:43I'm sure you'll all enjoy this one.
00:46:46The second challenge is...
00:46:49a date.
00:46:53And guess who Ms. Lockhart enjoys spending her time with the most.
00:46:56As simple as that.
00:46:59I know what I want to do. Let's start with me first.
00:47:02Save the best for last.
00:47:05Ain't that right, Angela?
00:47:08Then it's decided.
00:47:11Please don't take my BMW away.
00:47:14Too bad. You pissed off the Lockharts.
00:47:17I have nothing left.
00:47:23It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:29It's that bitch who ruined me!
00:47:36General Eisenhower, sir!
00:47:39On ease, Lieutenants!
00:47:42This is my lieutenant. He also manages this boxing gym.
00:47:45Pleasure to meet you, Madam Eisenhower!
00:47:48He's so serious.
00:47:51You're so serious, but hang on.
00:47:54Lieutenant, I don't know who I'm going to marry yet.
00:47:57Baby, I decided to take you here on our first date so that I can introduce you to my guns.
00:48:02Guns, like murder weapons?
00:48:05Yes, murder weapons.
00:48:21You like my guns, babe?
00:48:29Pretty rock hard.
00:48:31Yeah.
00:48:32Let me show you what I can do with them.
00:48:34Lieutenant! Come close!
00:48:37Wait, you're just going to hit him like that? He's not even going to fight back?
00:48:41Fighting back would be treason, ma'am!
00:48:43Treason? You guys are way too serious.
00:48:47Look, you rock hard bitch, I caught you!
00:48:49If I'm going down, you're all going down with me!
00:48:52Lieutenant, pistol attack!
00:49:07You dare try to hurt my wife?
00:49:11I will make you pay!
00:49:15If you don't need to keep beating him up, we could just take him to the cops.
00:49:18Not when he tries to hurt you!
00:49:26Zoe's a bit violent. Some might call it being protective.
00:49:30Poor anger issues. What if they get married and I forget to use a coaster on an antique table or something?
00:49:36Is he going to be, like, rough?
00:49:39Hey, some girls are into that.
00:49:41I don't know if I am.
00:49:44Well, maybe shame will be your type.
00:49:49Your date with Shane starts now.
00:49:56Hey, cool ride.
00:50:00A gift from the Chancellor of Germany when I saved his wife.
00:50:03Impressive.
00:50:07Your breath smells like peppermint.
00:50:10Refreshing.
00:50:12I got cool mint, too.
00:50:14Or do you prefer spearmint?
00:50:17What do you not have in this coat of yours?
00:50:20Fruit flavored gum. I can't stand those.
00:50:23So, where are you taking me, Shane?
00:50:25Let me show you.
00:50:33Dr. Wilson!
00:50:35Our VIP of VIPs!
00:50:37Right this way.
00:50:38VIP of VIPs.
00:50:40Ah, just some other guy I saved. I forget who.
00:50:43You saved a lot of people.
00:50:45I do what I can.
00:50:47Oh, my gosh. It's my gold-digging neighbor who just got dumped by her husband.
00:50:54Sandra Miller, what are you doing here? I just thought this was for the VIP of VIPs.
00:50:59Your mother-in-law told me all about the divorce and how you hired some gigolo to beat her and Kaylee Vanderbilt up.
00:51:07How low of you.
00:51:09What are you doing here, Sandra?
00:51:11Of course your bird brain wouldn't remember.
00:51:13I sell high fashion jewelry pieces so high end, you couldn't even afford even a few soldier organs.
00:51:19The auction begins.
00:51:22I'll deal with you later.
00:51:25I'll just be one second.
00:51:31Cameron, I have a task for you.
00:51:36Our next piece is absolutely extraordinary.
00:51:39Cleopatra's armband.
00:51:41Sold by our vendor, Sandra Miller, for five million dollars.
00:51:48Excuse me. I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:52It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:55I'd like to donate this piece to auction.
00:51:57It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:51:59What are you doing?
00:52:01Just watch.
00:52:03Come on.
00:52:08That is Queen Victoria's ring?
00:52:10Please. I'm an expert and that's a fake.
00:52:13She probably got it at the flea market she works at.
00:52:16You work at a flea market?
00:52:18Not this again.
00:52:19Cut the bullshit. That wouldn't even sell for five dollars.
00:52:22Oh yeah? Here, you want it? For free.
00:52:25Ew. I don't want that trash from a stinky hippie peddler.
00:52:30Well, that's too bad then, because you are the fraud.
00:52:35What are you talking about? Who the hell are you to accuse me?
00:52:39Throw them out.
00:52:41Dr. Wilson, I know you're a legend in medicine, but we're professionals.
00:52:46Oh yeah? And that armband sells for five million dollars?
00:52:51Yeah. Mine is the real thing.
00:52:53You two are just upset because you're too poor to afford our luxury items.
00:52:58Oh, is that so?
00:53:00Well, a so-called expert failed to recognize Queen Victoria's ring then.
00:53:03Dear Lord. This is real. It's authentic. It's Queen Victoria's ring.
00:53:15Karen, what have you found?
00:53:17Yeah, that picture of Cleopatra's armband you sent me? It's a replica.
00:53:22They had the same one right here at the flea market.
00:53:26So, you are the fraud. You just went to the flea market so you can buy some fakes.
00:53:34And Cameron, how much are these fakes being sold for?
00:53:37150.
00:53:39Wow. Not even five dollars. Sandra.
00:53:43You've been duping us the whole time? Arrest her!
00:53:48No! Please! This is my time! Please!
00:53:52What's going on, Dr. Wilson?
00:53:55Uh, investigating lead poisoning from cheap jewelry for the Emperor of Japan. Bye.
00:53:59A lackluster from the jewelry industry forever.
00:54:11I had a really great time tonight.
00:54:13Me too. May I have a kiss?
00:54:24Sure.
00:54:33Something wrong?
00:54:34Do you always have gum in your mouth?
00:54:42Yep. You never have to worry about stinky breath from me.
00:54:54You owe us a bunch of money, Cooper.
00:54:58I don't have any money.
00:55:00How did you pay for this hotel then?
00:55:02I guess you'll only pay up if I break your other leg.
00:55:10Stop!
00:55:14Mr. Vandervilt?
00:55:16I'm back.
00:55:18Mr. Buffett?
00:55:21This is the contract for the Maple Plaza project.
00:55:26That's right. Miss Musk wanted me to give it to you.
00:55:29I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:32I knew Angela was still in love with me.
00:55:35No, no. Sorry about those injuries from earlier. It was all just a little misunderstanding.
00:55:41Yeah, we could be partners again.
00:55:44And then maybe you can tell Lady Lockhart to put in a good word for us?
00:55:49Angela still loves me. She's just throwing a fit. She'll be back to me soon enough.
00:55:54Yeah. Do you need any help winning her back? We can give you jewelry to give to her.
00:55:59I was just sucking up to these pricks a few days ago and now they're all begging me to help them out.
00:56:05It feels so damn good to be in power.
00:56:08Sure. I'll put in a good word for you. I just need...
00:56:13Anything. You tell us, we'll give you anything.
00:56:16Once I take everything from these idiots, I'll go after Angela Lockhart for my revenge.
00:56:29I'm giving the contract to Jared Cooper just like you asked me to.
00:56:32Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:37Well done. He'll be fucked soon.
00:56:39I don't get it, Miss Musk.
00:56:41That contract has a preliminary clause. It requires him to pay 50% of the costs up front as a deposit.
00:56:47And if he can't, then what?
00:56:49He'll be bankrupt.
00:56:50So as long as he's greedy enough to take it.
00:56:54I'm avenging my best friend. I want to show the world that without Angela Lockhart, he's nothing.
00:57:06I signed the Maple Plaza project. We should celebrate.
00:57:10You did? You see, I know my son has it in him.
00:57:14That skank Angela is nothing next to you.
00:57:17And it's all thanks to you, sweetheart.
00:57:20Actually, it's thanks to Angela.
00:57:25What?
00:57:27You're trying to ditch me to go back to your wife?
00:57:30Oh, no, no, no, no. He's not.
00:57:32Jared, what are you doing? You have such a beautiful and bright future ahead of you.
00:57:37It's my decision, Mom. I'm the head of the house here.
00:57:41I'm telling my dad.
00:57:43Fine. Go right ahead. He has enough problems himself.
00:57:46If you're obedient, I'll keep you around as his side piece. But if not, you can scram.
00:57:51Dad, Jared is being mean to me. Teach him a lesson.
00:57:56Kaylie, be a good girl, okay?
00:57:58Jared has the backing of some very powerful people now.
00:58:02Don't get on his bad side.
00:58:04We can't afford to piss him off, so do as he says.
00:58:08Dad!
00:58:16I'm sorry. I'll be your side piece.
00:58:19Very good. I'm happy you've come around.
00:58:22Now let's go celebrate.
00:58:27I mean, do I really want to be with Mr. Minty Mouth forever, though?
00:58:31But that tongue action, though. Tongue is important in more than just one spot.
00:58:36Ellen, we aren't in public.
00:58:38It's true.
00:58:39Oh! Stomachache.
00:58:41Again?
00:58:42I have to run to the bathroom. Devin should be here to pick you up soon.
00:58:46Okay.
00:58:47Devin's late.
00:58:49Not a good sign for a date.
00:58:53This hotel restaurant has five Michelin stars.
00:58:57It's her.
00:58:59It's her.
00:59:00And she's alone.
00:59:01With no one to save her.
00:59:05You whore. You seduced my son so he'd get back with you.
00:59:12Let me tell you.
00:59:14I would never go back even if your entire family got down on their knees and begged me.
00:59:21Hey, you guys can fight all you want, but you need to take this somewhere else.
00:59:25Whoever gets rid of her for me gets all this.
00:59:28What? Why do I have to leave? She's the one starting shit.
00:59:31Because I have money and you don't.
00:59:34You're just a stinky hippie peddler.
00:59:36And my son just signed a 100 billion dollar contract.
00:59:40He still got the contract?
00:59:42Hmm.
00:59:43Must be Ellen's doing.
00:59:45Even if he does sign it, he doesn't have the liquidity to pay the deposit up front.
00:59:49Oh, he's just gonna...
00:59:51Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
00:59:55Bet you've never seen this much cash before.
01:00:00You take my charity and toss it in my face as if it's your own.
01:00:05My maid wouldn't even pick up such a pitiful amount.
01:00:08$1,000 to take her away.
01:00:11$2,000 to drag her away.
01:00:14$5,000 to beat her away.
01:00:19Oh! Oh! Hey! Hey! Ow! Hey!
01:00:25You okay? Are you hurt?
01:00:32Weakling.
01:00:33You! You! Just a few days ago you found yourself a boy toy right after getting divorced.
01:00:38And now you have two more?
01:00:40What a whore.
01:00:42What a whore.
01:00:43Yeah. And Jared wanted to get back with her?
01:00:46What if she has an STD?
01:00:48Oh, like sleeping with a married man wouldn't give you an STD.
01:00:52Let's go. We'll expose her to Jared.
01:00:55Hang on.
01:00:57What do you want?
01:00:58I'll scream.
01:01:00I don't hit women.
01:01:01But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:05But I never said I don't kill women.
01:01:09Oh God. He is a murderer.
01:01:11What if he murders me?
01:01:13Not him. Definitely not him.
01:01:15Not him.
01:01:20We're not afraid of you.
01:01:22That's enough. This isn't a war zone.
01:01:24You'll be removed from being a five-star general if you hurt a civilian without adequate cause.
01:01:29I was just messing with him.
01:01:31Was he though?
01:01:32We're not afraid of you.
01:01:35Jared! You have to avenge us.
01:01:37Look at this slut. She's found two more boy toys.
01:01:40She's cheating on you. Don't get back with her.
01:01:42Oh, Mr. Cooper, it's you. I apologize for this scene.
01:01:45I'll toss out the potty crashes immediately so that you can go to your salvation banquet.
01:01:50Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:52Who did you say you were going to toss out?
01:01:54The potty crashes.
01:01:58You have any idea who that is?
01:02:00That's my wife.
01:02:02You saved that title for the real skank over there.
01:02:05That's right. No, you're playing.
01:02:07Shut up.
01:02:08She's cheating on you.
01:02:10I know your place. You're just a side piece.
01:02:13If I still want you, that is.
01:02:15Eric, have you gone mad?
01:02:17This is Eric Vanderbilt's only daughter.
01:02:19You slap her for this whore?
01:02:21Mom!
01:02:22They really think they're something, huh?
01:02:24Angela's an heiress to a family whose wealth and status goes back to the Victorian age.
01:02:28She's richer even than Ellen Musk.
01:02:31I only got the Maple Closet Project because she gave it to me.
01:02:35What?
01:02:37What?
01:02:39You apologize right now or I will kick you and your father to the curb.
01:02:49I'm sorry.
01:02:51No.
01:02:53This can't be.
01:02:55I made you divorce...
01:02:59Go home.
01:03:01You're not suited to come with me to my celebration banquet.
01:03:08I apologize on behalf of my mother.
01:03:11Honey, I know you came here to celebrate my achievements.
01:03:15I promise no one will bother you anymore.
01:03:18I didn't come here for you.
01:03:21I'm on a date.
01:03:23A date with two men at the same time?
01:03:26She really is a whore.
01:03:28Angela, please forgive me.
01:03:30I really do love you.
01:03:33Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:38Oh-ho! Lady Lockhart is here!
01:03:42Yeah, we already know you beat Ford's effort.
01:03:46We're too old for that.
01:03:48They're here for my celebration banquet.
01:03:50Please, you gave me the contract, so if anyone should go as my guest of honor, it should be you.
01:03:55Oh, yes, please, Miss Lockhart, join us.
01:03:58We'll all be one happy business family again.
01:04:02What the hell are you all doing here?
01:04:04Where were you?
01:04:06Still making shoes.
01:04:08Again? Would you like my diagnosis?
01:04:10No.
01:04:13Let me make myself clear, okay?
01:04:16I would rather die than be with you again.
01:04:20Seems that they're not actually on good terms.
01:04:24I can't lose face in front of these pricks.
01:04:26Otherwise, they'll cut me off, too.
01:04:28Angela, I know you're still mad, but please give me a chance. I'll prove it to you.
01:04:32You want a chance?
01:04:34Angela, no. You have three great guys here who all want to marry you.
01:04:38Don't take him back.
01:04:40I'll give you two choices.
01:04:44I'll give you two choices.
01:04:48Me, or the contract.
01:04:51You're kidding me.
01:04:53No, I'm not kidding you.
01:04:55If you choose me, we can remarry this week.
01:04:59But you don't get the hundred billion dollar contract.
01:05:03The choice is all yours.
01:05:05That's a tough choice.
01:05:07You think so? He either marries a royal heiress or gets a contract that takes his company to the moon.
01:05:12Either way, he benefits.
01:05:14Why can't I have both?
01:05:16You really are a greedy bastard.
01:05:19Angela, I saved you in the pool, remember? I deserve the contract.
01:05:24Did you really?
01:05:29Look who's fashionably late now.
01:05:32He didn't save her at the pool.
01:05:34Wait, what are you talking about?
01:05:37I choose the contract.
01:05:40I knew it. You'll get what's coming to you.
01:05:43With this contract, my company's earning potential is limitless.
01:05:48Angela Lockhart, you humiliated me in front of everyone. I will get you one day.
01:05:53Let me show you something.
01:06:06You saved me.
01:06:12You saved me.
01:06:14I'm sorry.
01:06:16I don't know if his lies led to you wasting three years of your life.
01:06:21But I promise you, I'm going to make it up to you with the rest of our lives.
01:06:26No, no, I wasn't lying. I just couldn't remember exactly what happened that day.
01:06:39Does that mean we both each saved her once?
01:06:43What? Me?
01:06:45Dr. Wilson? Losing at saving people?
01:06:48No way.
01:06:49You guys, one of you, do something life-threatening right now.
01:06:53You're crazy.
01:06:55And actually, they've all been doing horrible shit behind your back.
01:07:00What?
01:07:03Mr. Sterling had me investigate their company's dealings.
01:07:06Turns out they've been fudging the numbers on your shared accounts and contracts.
01:07:10Put it simply, they've been stealing from you.
01:07:13I can't believe I didn't realize.
01:07:16Ms. Lockhart, I'm so sorry. I should have had third-party accountants check thoroughly.
01:07:21No, it's not your fault. They're just too slick.
01:07:24You'd like me to punish them for you?
01:07:26Oh God, no. Not that again. Please.
01:07:29Max, you know what to do.
01:07:44The banks have pulled all of our funds.
01:07:47All business ties have been severed.
01:07:49We're bankrupt!
01:07:55How did you do that?
01:07:57Who are you? And don't say Spider-Man!
01:08:02I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:05I'll tell you who I am.
01:08:09I am...
01:08:11Crypto-Punk Number Two!
01:08:13What did he say he was?
01:08:15That's more bizarre than Spider-Man.
01:08:17You're Crypto-Punk Number Two?
01:08:20Well, I'm Crypto-Punk Number One.
01:08:23See? You are number one at something.
01:08:25The most expensive NFT collection in the world.
01:08:28Forget Forbes' list.
01:08:30It's all about young money now.
01:08:32So, how about our date?
01:08:36I'm not letting them one-up me on this one.
01:08:39Let's buy two.
01:08:53They forgot to cancel my contract.
01:08:56I still have the 100 billion dollar project.
01:08:59Yes! I'm the best!
01:09:03Yes! I'm rich!
01:09:06I can make them all pay soon!
01:09:14What?
01:09:15Mr. Cooper, sir.
01:09:17The Maple Plaza contract requires us to provide 50% of the costs up front.
01:09:21Otherwise, it's a breach of contract and we'll have to pay for all financial repercussions.
01:09:25No!
01:09:27I'm bankrupt!
01:09:30I'm just a little awkward.
01:09:32You tricked me!
01:09:38Oh, allow me.
01:09:42I'm sorry I was late, my queen.
01:09:44I had to get some very important materials for our special date.
01:09:50Well, cheers.
01:09:52Cheers.
01:10:00This looks good.
01:10:06Did you use my spices?
01:10:09I know your ex-in-law has never appreciated you.
01:10:14You can have all the money and power in the world and you still can't force a man to love you.
01:10:20I couldn't even remember our anniversary.
01:10:23Angela, your future with me is going to be different.
01:10:31Come on.
01:10:33Let's dance.
01:10:54Bob.
01:10:56Devon, I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on these past few years
01:11:01just because of some silly mistake.
01:11:04Angela, I've known and loved you for three whole years.
01:11:09Actually, I've also loved you for three years.
01:11:13That's right. I fell in love with you three years ago, too.
01:11:17How is all of this possible?
01:11:20How is all of this possible?
01:11:23I didn't meet any of you until recently.
01:11:26Well, actually, maybe Devon, but...
01:11:31I've had a crush on you since college.
01:11:34You were my motivation to go to business school.
01:11:37Despite who you were, you never judged me for being poor.
01:11:43Are you trying to get hired at Fortune 500 in a suit like that?
01:11:51All you do is babble on and on about Internet money, Bitcoin, and shit like that.
01:11:59Are you trying to steal my spot?
01:12:03I'll teach you a lesson.
01:12:06Hey! Get away from him!
01:12:08Angela!
01:12:10Fancy girl. I like her.
01:12:23How is he?
01:12:25It's a rare poison made from a mixture of dried roots found in Africa.
01:12:29Astragal, saltif.
01:12:31Can it be cured?
01:12:32I actually think I know that poison.
01:12:34It sounds really scary, but its cure can actually be found in any developed country.
01:12:38Household salt.
01:12:47I like her.
01:12:50There you go.
01:12:52What time is it?
01:12:55Oh, shoot. I'm late for swim practice.
01:13:04I like her.
01:13:07We have been rivals ever since.
01:13:09So, that's how I... well, we all met.
01:13:14I barely remember.
01:13:16I should have never let you go to swim practice that day.
01:13:19Matthew Richards, the guy who poisoned me, attacked you out of revenge.
01:13:24You wouldn't have known.
01:13:25I did hear he dropped out and became a loan shark, though.
01:13:27That makes you feel any better.
01:13:29Yeah, I think that suits him a little better.
01:13:32Angela, your seven days is almost up.
01:13:35Now that you know they all loved and fought for you for three years, who will you pick?
01:13:45How can that be?
01:13:47Angela Lockhart is an heiress?
01:13:54Kaylee, we've gone bankrupt.
01:13:58Bankrupt?
01:13:59The Vanderbilt's have gone bankrupt?
01:14:02Well then, get out of here!
01:14:05You can't do this to me!
01:14:09Jared!
01:14:10Mom, it's me.
01:14:11What happened?
01:14:13Jared, I have carefully reconsidered.
01:14:16Angela is way better than this dimwit.
01:14:18You should get back with your wife.
01:14:20We're bankrupt.
01:14:22What?
01:14:26Jared Cooper.
01:14:29We're here to recompose your belongings.
01:14:33No one is going to save you now.
01:14:36Mom!
01:14:40What kind of an asshole throws his own mother to the dogs?
01:14:47Who will you pick?
01:14:51I...
01:14:52I...
01:14:57I brought you fried chicken.
01:14:59Fried chicken?
01:15:00Hey, not all girls like sushi and caviar.
01:15:02Yeah, he's right. I did live in Atlanta for three months.
01:15:05Sucking up last minute!
01:15:07At least I don't speak like an AI robot.
01:15:10Hey, stop. Stop.
01:15:13Welcome back to the bachelorette.
01:15:16I mean, the three badasses who want me.
01:15:19I mean, Angela Lockhart...
01:15:22You know what I mean.
01:15:23Today, our heiress bachelorette will choose
01:15:27which one of our three badasses will she marry.
01:15:31Will it be Shane, the doctor?
01:15:35Cole, the general?
01:15:39Or Devin, the CEO?
01:15:44Uh, looks like our bachelorette may need a little more time to decide.
01:15:48Oh, the suspense is killing me!
01:15:52But when she does, she will take this eternal rose
01:15:55made from glass imported from Venice
01:15:57and give it to our winner.
01:16:00Angela.
01:16:03Angela!
01:16:04Oh, I...
01:16:08I need more time to think.
01:16:14While our bachelorette takes a little time to decide,
01:16:17why don't we check in with each of our candidates?
01:16:20Let's check in with each of our candidates.
01:16:23Let's start with Cole.
01:16:25Cole.
01:16:29There's not much to say.
01:16:31Who wouldn't want a five-star general
01:16:33who has huge biceps,
01:16:36a massive chest,
01:16:38who would protect their wife?
01:16:42Okay, thank you.
01:16:45Uh, Shane?
01:16:48Muscles, money,
01:16:51they'll only get you so far.
01:16:53But you need a well-balanced man like me
01:16:55that has more than one way to keep a lady happy,
01:16:57if you know what I mean.
01:17:02Okay, I think we do.
01:17:04And Devin?
01:17:06That was quite disgusting.
01:17:11I just hope Angela's okay.
01:17:13I know she's going under a lot of stress right now.
01:17:15A lot of choices to make.
01:17:18And she's my queen.
01:17:20I just really hope she's okay.
01:17:22And one more thing.
01:17:23What kind of a doctor
01:17:25brings fried chicken to a girl?
01:17:28That's a good point.
01:17:29It's bad for her heart.
01:17:32And then you!
01:17:33What?
01:17:34You know what they say about military men.
01:17:37They beat their wives.
01:17:43Enough!
01:17:46Stand up!
01:17:48Hey, you guys.
01:17:51Whoa, break it up!
01:17:52Hey!
01:17:54Break it up!
01:17:59Cut to commercial!
01:18:00Cut to commercial!
01:18:14Oh my gosh.
01:18:20This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make
01:18:22in my entire life.
01:18:25Who do I choose?
01:18:34Angela's marrying me!
01:18:35But not stealing her from me.
01:18:37Oh yeah?
01:18:39I may be a doctor,
01:18:40but like I said,
01:18:41I know and possess the deadliest poisons in the world.
01:18:47What don't you have in that coat?
01:18:49Fruit flavored gum.
01:18:50I won't let you take Angela away from me.
01:18:52I'll fight you to the death.
01:18:54Don't forget about me.
01:18:56It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:02These stupid profile cards don't make any sense.
01:19:05They do not help.
01:19:06Who made these?
01:19:12Ugh.
01:19:26It's time I reveal my true identity.
01:19:31I'm actually a part of the X-Men.
01:19:34And I have the power of telekinesis!
01:19:41Oh!
01:19:53We may have to work together to take him down.
01:20:06This battle within our heads is the most intense I've ever experienced.
01:20:10I may not be able to take them both down
01:20:12if they decide to team up.
01:20:13Hmm.
01:20:15Winter Mint or Cool Mint?
01:20:21You know,
01:20:23I've always really liked your hair.
01:20:24Really?
01:20:26I'm actually pretty self-conscious about it.
01:20:29So I appreciate that.
01:20:32Hey, hey, hey.
01:20:33And you know,
01:20:34Cole,
01:20:35I've always really liked the way you talk.
01:20:38Really?
01:20:39Yeah.
01:20:43What do you got for me?
01:20:44I've always really liked the way you chew gum.
01:20:48Yeah?
01:20:49It's fresh, right?
01:20:50Yeah.
01:20:54You're actually a really good doctor.
01:20:56I appreciate it.
01:20:57You need me to look at you?
01:20:58I got you.
01:20:59I need you.
01:21:01Angela's been kidnapped!
01:21:03Angela's been kidnapped!
01:21:05It was Jerry Cooper!
01:21:07That fucker!
01:21:09We have to find her.
01:21:10What, how?
01:21:11Her ring.
01:21:12Her dad installed a GPS tracking mechanism on her ring,
01:21:14just in case.
01:21:15Well, let's go then!
01:21:17My fiancé!
01:21:18My fiancé!
01:21:25Jared.
01:21:29What am I doing here?
01:21:32You destroyed me.
01:21:35They took everything.
01:21:36Everything?
01:21:38What?
01:21:39I have nothing left.
01:21:41It's not my fault you're too greedy.
01:21:44I'm not greedy.
01:21:45You had sex with my wife?
01:21:47What?
01:21:49I'm not your wife anymore!
01:21:50Oh, yeah, I know.
01:21:51You wouldn't take me back now,
01:21:52not unless I get you pregnant with my child.
01:21:54This is illegal!
01:21:55You wouldn't want your child to be away from its father.
01:21:58You won't have me arrested.
01:22:01You will take me back.
01:22:03Ow!
01:22:05Come on, bitch.
01:22:08I'll settle you down a little.
01:22:18You will be begging me to fuck you soon.
01:22:23Hey!
01:22:25Anselmo!
01:22:26Come back!
01:22:30You're too late!
01:22:31I drugged her.
01:22:32She'll be dead soon,
01:22:33have you forgotten who I am?
01:22:36He really does have everything in his coat.
01:22:38Everything except for fruit.
01:22:39Yeah, except for fruit-flavored gum.
01:22:40Get it already.
01:22:41Just save my boss!
01:22:44Here you go.
01:22:50You're all good now.
01:22:52Oh, thank God.
01:22:54But what do we do with that piece of shit?
01:22:56What?
01:22:57What are you going to do to me?
01:22:59Hey, stop!
01:23:00No, don't!
01:23:02Ow!
01:23:03Enjoy your erectile dysfunction forever.
01:23:10Glad we didn't actually have that fight.
01:23:12Turns out he's the most dangerous of them all.
01:23:20So who did you pick, sweetheart?
01:23:22Have you invited the most important figures of the world to your wedding?
01:23:25The Prince of Bhutan?
01:23:28And remember, we will kill ourselves if you don't choose.
01:23:36Welcome back to the finale of
01:23:38The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:23:40We're down to the wire.
01:23:42Literally.
01:23:43The wedding day.
01:23:44But who's the groom?
01:23:58Welcome back to the finale of
01:24:00The Three Badasses Who Want Me.
01:24:02But who's the groom?
01:24:07Seems our heiress still hasn't decided.
01:24:11Any input from the parents?
01:24:13Maybe that will help sway our bachelorette's choice.
01:24:17This is exciting.
01:24:18Who should my daughter pick?
01:24:21Let me think.
01:24:22I like the doctor.
01:24:24He's cute.
01:24:27But the general looks like a strong fellow.
01:24:31And we can't forget about Devon Sterling,
01:24:33the one who's loved her the longest.
01:24:35Isn't that right, Devon?
01:24:37Angela.
01:24:44You are all three very fine gentlemen.
01:24:49Very fine gentlemen.
01:24:52And I'm really grateful for all of your love.
01:24:56But this was a really hard decision.
01:25:00And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:06And I decided to devise one last challenge.
01:25:14I'm just kidding.
01:25:15I'm just as sick of this as you guys are.
01:25:20Each of our candidates have saved our main character.
01:25:24I mean, bachelorette, once.
01:25:26They've all proven their undying love.
01:25:29So who gets to unlock Angela Lockhart's heart?
01:25:33Literally.
01:25:35Could it be the sexy and protective,
01:25:39general with a temper, Mr. Cole Eisenhower?
01:25:42Or the fun, wicked-minded, but kind of weird,
01:25:51Dr. Shane Wilson?
01:25:55And last but not least,
01:25:57could it be the richest man of them all,
01:26:00the man Angela would have married a long time ago,
01:26:03Mr. Devon Sterling?
01:26:07Gentlemen,
01:26:09it's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:11It's been a pleasure getting to know you.
01:26:13May the best man win.
01:26:16May the best man win.
01:26:19Drum roll, please.
01:26:34Seriously, Ricky?
01:26:42I choose...
01:26:54I need a powerful, strong man in there
01:26:56who's willing to feel like he can protect me.
01:27:00Who could resist those guys?
01:27:04Could I interest you in an N.F.D., Ellen?
01:27:06Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:27:12Ding!
01:27:21Shane, it's you.
01:27:23I'm lovesick for you.
01:27:25You like that minty flavor, don't you?
01:27:27Yeah.
01:27:30It's that tongue action, ladies and gents.
01:27:33Ellen, be my new queen.
01:27:34I hope we can build together.
01:27:36Let's make love, babe.
01:27:38Come on.
01:27:40Ding!
01:27:49It's always been you.
01:27:59I'll always love you.
01:28:03Let's give it up for those nine inches, everybody.
01:28:07Would you like a full-body checkup?
01:28:09Have you seen my murdering weapons?
01:28:11I need fruit-flavored gum for you.