Sometimes it feels like it'd be much easier to go it alone...
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00:00When the odds are stacked against you in a video game, you really want somebody reliable in your
00:04corner. Someone to carry your burdens, even the score, and help you live another day.
00:09For every Marcus, there's a Dom. For every Ratchet, his Clank. Sadly though,
00:13not every pairing shares that special connection. Players need someone who's got their back in a
00:18firefight, not standing in front of them playing catch-eat-shop with their face.
00:22Whether it be down to some misread programming, or just good intentions gone wrong,
00:27companions can sometimes be more hindrance than help.
00:30I'm Jess from WhatCulture, and here are the 10 most unreliable video game companions ever.
00:36Number 10. Aery. Bravely Default.
00:39Fairies or some kind of pixie companion that joins you on your journey feel like part of the
00:44framework for a lot of eastern RPGs. I could list examples, but chances are you've already
00:49thought of one. You know, the annoying squeaky voice companions that get more insufferable as
00:53time goes on, much like Navi from Ocarina of Time. When it comes to Aery from 3DS hit Bravely
01:00Default, however, she's not just an unreliable companion, she's also an unreliable narrator.
01:06In short, the fairy guides players to light crystal pillars throughout the land,
01:10apparently saving the world. Yet, this creates a sort of parallel world
01:15slash time loop scenario, bringing you no closer to saving the proverbial day.
01:20Across the parallel worlds and as time goes on, characters will start to hint that the little
01:25fairy may not be all she appears, which becomes apparent when our heroes break the cycle and a
01:31crystal, halting the schemes of Aery's master Ouroboros. She's far from a sweet and innocent
01:37fairy when that happens, revealing her true nature in shocking form. Even the title screen
01:43alludes to this deception as time goes on, if players aren't getting it.
01:47Number 9. Any Survivor. Dead Rising.
01:50Frank West may have covered wars, you know, but nothing could prepare him for this.
01:54Not the zombie outbreak, he handles that quite well, surprisingly.
01:58No, I refer to the arduous task of making sure the people that he rescues actually make it to
02:03the rescue point. Now, it'd be fair to think that someone in need of rescuing would adhere
02:08to their saviour and follow their commands. Alright, some disarray and panic may ensue,
02:13yet in Dead Rising, where Frank can yell, follow me, and some will indeed follow,
02:18not all will. Some players might think, right, let's arm them, give them a fighting chance,
02:23whilst they follow Frank. Turns out that's an even worse idea, as for some reason, a plank of wood
02:28turns them into a would-be cone in The Barbarian, with about the self-preservation instinct of a
02:33lemming. Like unsupervised kids in a playpen, taking your eyes off what a survivor's doing
02:38is lethal. Lose that focus and you'll be seeing, Sophie has died, before you know it.
02:44At least the Pied Piper had it easy, the rats didn't mutiny or refuse to follow him to a
02:48parent's safety. Number 8, Tails. Sonic 3 slash Sonic and Knuckles. In terms of companionship
02:56throughout the ages, Tails has proven most of his worth behind the scenes. The two-tailed
03:00tinkerer of a fox has helped Sonic and friends with aircrafts and ingenuity. It's when he's
03:06in the fray that he becomes a right little sh**. Sonic the Hedgehog games are largely about
03:11precision platforming. Not to the controller-crushing degree of Super Meat Boy, but it
03:16can be tricky enough in places that demand attention. So imagine the dismay on players'
03:21faces when you're soaring through the air, having nailed the timing, and Tails plucks you out of thin
03:26air in a vain attempt at helping. It kills the trajectory of the jump, and if you try to jump
03:31again, you may end up plummeting to your death. There's also the occasions when the AI fox hits a
03:36switch at the wrong time, resulting in a hedgehog pancake because Tails has gone on without you.
03:41When a friend is playing, it's not so bad as you can coordinate, but much like another example
03:46later on, when the AI is in charge, all logic goes out the window. Stick to aircrafts and tinkering,
03:52Tails. Number 7, Dogmeat. Fallout 4. Dogs are generally considered to be man's best friend.
03:59You've got unwavering loyalty, a constant companion. You can't fault them. You can
04:04fault their digital counterparts, though, when they cause players to die umpteen times. Dogmeat,
04:10the stray that the player adopts early on in Fallout 4, is a prime example of this,
04:15prioritising willful obedience over something as integral as longevity. You can't blame him,
04:21really. He's not going to know the difference between loyalty and suicidal tendencies, is he?
04:25At least that's the only reason I can think of as to why he'll charge into proximity mines if
04:30you accidentally direct him that way, or while he'll wander into your line of fire slash explosion
04:36in a valiant effort to defend you. Good thing there's no morality meter in this game or players
04:40would seem like ripe bastards. It's not the end of the world if Dogmeat does catch some friendly fire
04:46or accidental blast radius. It's just a constant pain in the butt for players who have to wait
04:50until the battle is over to go pick his little fuzzy butt up. Immortal? Maybe. Annoying? Absolutely.
04:57Number 6. Trip. Enslaved. Odyssey to the West. In this loose adaptation of the Chinese fable,
05:04the relationship between Tripitaka and Monkey is already strained from the start. Well, putting
05:09an explosive proximity control device on someone and enslaving them tends to do that. But as the
05:15unlikely pair start to bond, Trip trusts Monkey to do the grunt work and scout out safe passage.
05:21Which is fine, except for when she decides not to follow and Monkey goes one step too far and
05:25explodes. It breaks the flow of the gameplay when players want to push forward and the fickle
05:30Tripitaka decides she won't climb that ledge and sets off the proximity popper on Monkey's brain
05:36case. Or when players are off exploring when the game allows some extra length, only to be
05:40cut short by Trip startling some enemies and getting herself kidnapped and taken out of range.
05:46Sure, there are times when the game calls for it, but at other times it's a right pain when
05:50your companion literally brings your progress to a halt. Why Monkey doesn't just carry her
05:55and chuck her in a bush when he needs to fight is beyond me.
05:585. Maria – Silent Hill 2
06:01When it comes to survival horror, it's usually hard enough trying to keep the protagonist from
06:06meeting a terrible fate, let alone somebody else. If they can handle themselves, then it's the more
06:11the merrier, but as you've probably gathered from this list so far, it's not really the case here.
06:16James Sunderland is already having a right time of it in Silent Hill already. You know,
06:21what with that whole letter from a dead wife, geometric headed relentless fiend in pursuit
06:25shtick going on. What he doesn't need is a survivor with a death wish bigger than James'
06:30guilt complex. That'll make sense if he finished it. Escort missions are a burden most of the time
06:35anyway, but this one goes the extra mile. Should Maria take too much damage from either James or
06:40the manifestations that the titular town has conjured up, it can and will affect an ending.
06:46Which wouldn't be so bad if Maria didn't have an obnoxious habit of getting right in the way
06:50of James' flailing about in a fight. In a game like this, with such sticky combat,
06:55it can be an extra contrivance to keep an eye on her.
06:58Number 4. Jung. Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six Vegas 2.
07:02In the world of highly trained special operatives sent into dangerous locales and volatile
07:07situations, you can expect your team to work as a well-oiled machine. But all that it takes
07:13is one loose cog to disrupt that flow, and that's where Jung Park comes in. When your team works
07:18well in the R6 Vegas games, it's great. The level of precision and tactics required to clear
07:23missions room by room is some of the slickest around, for its time. But keeping the protagonist
07:28alive isn't the player's only concern. They have to look after their team, too. Your other companion
07:34Walker is self-sufficient, and has the common sense to not get shot. Much. Not Jung, though. No,
07:40no. Take your eye off him, though, or leave him to what you'd think is taking out the enemy shooting
07:45at him, and you'll hear Jung down more often than you'd like to. Which is a good dozen more times
07:50than necessary. What makes it worse is if players have to risk themselves to pick the daft spod back
07:56up again. Repeatedly. Seriously, Jung could incapacitate himself in a room with a folding
08:01chair if you left him there. Number 3. Sheeva. Resident Evil 5.
08:06Ashley Graham gets a load of flack in Resi 4, what with the annoying voice and the kidnaps,
08:11but that could be tolerated. Mostly. What she didn't do, however, was waste all of your precious
08:16ammo and healing items at every opportunity. No, that honour goes to Sheeva Alamar,
08:22BSAA agent, Chris Redfield's partner, and all-round inconvenience when being handled by the AI.
08:29In human-controlled co-op, it's amazing to have another helping hand. It's when she's controlled
08:33by the AI that we run into problems. Normally you'd think rationing out the firepower accordingly
08:39would be fair, and it would, but Sheeva doesn't do normal. She'll waste a few magnum rounds on a
08:44standard enemy rather than the surplus handgun ammo she's carrying. But worse than wasting ammo
08:50is wasting your high-strength healing items instead. For example, if Chris takes a tiny
08:55bump or throwing axe to the head, that's nothing a little green herb can't fix. Yet if Sheeva's
09:00got a full health-filling first aid spray in her hands, she won't hesitate to use it.
09:04You literally have to run away and heal quicker than it takes your AI partner to catch up to you,
09:10which is worrying when there are bigger threats in the game.
09:132. Natalya, Goldeneye
09:16In Pierce Brosnan's first outing in Goldeneye, Natalya Simonova broke away from the Bond Girl
09:21trope. Well, a bit. She still becomes a love interest by the end, but for the majority,
09:25is a savvy foil to Brosnan's bond. A survivor throughout, Natalya becomes integral to the
09:30spy's plan to thwart Trevelyan and the titular weaponized satellite device. In the video game
09:36tie-in on Nintendo 64, however, that logic didn't carry over. Rather than accepting that she's not
09:42a battle-trained agent, the polygonal counterpart would do her best to eat every bullet. It's almost
09:48like she took national patriotism too far, taking the bullet for each of her fellow countrymen over
09:53this English pig dog killing them all. Or at least that's what it felt like, as you attempt to clear
09:58the room of enemies intent on killing you both. You had to pick your shots carefully on these
10:03escort missions, as Natalya has an annoying habit of running in the way of fire, friendly or
10:08otherwise. It wasn't at all uncommon to see the words, Natalya has died, which is pretty darn
10:14frustrating when you were all the way at the end of the mission.
10:171. Roach, The Witcher 3, The Wild Hunt
10:21When you start a Witcher game, it may seem odd that Geralt has a disconnect with his horses.
10:25Calling each one Roach, our hero seems to bear no significant attachment to his mares,
10:30unlike say Wanda from Shadow of the Colossus. Then as you come out of a tavern and find your
10:35horse atop the adjacent roof, you begin to see why. I'm personally playing through The Witcher 3
10:41right now for the very first time, and whilst I appreciate Roach and I think she's gotten a lot
10:46better, boy does this horse love to jam itself on a small fence midway through a really important
10:51race. Whilst it's unreasonable to expect your horse to stick to you every step of the way,
10:56when you summon them and they're in what seems like the next county, it can be a pain to wait.
11:01Or better still, when a player summons their trusty steed and finds her stuck on a branch,
11:05or a fence post, or something that may not even be real, yet still enough to hinder them from
11:10coming to you. Over time said a project Red did fix up some bits and pieces with Roach's AI,
11:15but not all of them. Plenty of players like me are still finding frustration with her puzzling
11:21programming. Whilst the world of Temeria and the bordering lands is beautiful to take in,
11:25when your horse decides that it wants to be a scaffolder when you summon it,
11:29it somewhat ruins the illusion. That's the end of our list of the most unreliable video game
11:34companions ever, but if you can think of any more, be sure to write them in that comment section
11:38below. As always, I've been Jess from WhatCulture, thank you so much for hanging out with me.
11:44If you like, you can come say hi to me on my Twitter account where I'm at JessMcDonald,
11:48but make sure you stay tuned to us here for plenty more great gaming content.