Category
✨
PeopleTranscript
00:00Ready for a game changer, comedy of errors, it's Grant O'Brien.
00:07How dare you?
00:08A midsummer night's dream, it's Christine Medrano.
00:14Hi.
00:15And a gentleman of Verona, it's Lou Wilson.
00:21Oh, sorry.
00:22It's right here.
00:23Oh, thank you.
00:24And your host, me.
00:27I've been here the whole time.
00:30This is Game Changer, the only game show where the game changes every show.
00:36I am your host, Sam Reich.
00:37I'm joined today by these three lovely contestants.
00:41You all understand how the game works.
00:43I do not.
00:44And Sam, that's by design.
00:45I'm just confused.
00:46And I think you like that.
00:47I do.
00:48I get off on that shit.
00:49That's right.
00:50Our players have no idea what game it is they're about to play.
00:54The only way to learn is by playing.
00:57The only way to win is by learning.
00:59And the only way to begin is by beginning.
01:01So, without further ado, let's begin.
01:03Players, you are here today because you are some of my favorite actors in the college humor family.
01:14In this episode, I am going to ask you to do some of the finest.
01:23Most refined.
01:25Most professional acting of your careers.
01:29With some of the most terrible dialogue that I have ever written in my life.
01:36Okay.
01:37Grant.
01:38Sam.
01:39I want you to play this seductively.
01:43No sweat.
01:44I have a very bad toenail fungus.
01:47It spreads rapidly from person to person.
01:51It makes your toenails look like shattered pea ice.
01:55And it smells like one of those Parmesan cheese factories.
02:01You've seen food shows.
02:03One time, my dog smelled my feet and it vomited.
02:12Another time, one of my toenails straight fell off.
02:15Very well done, Grant.
02:17I like that a lot.
02:19That's sort of a coyness to it.
02:22Out of a possible three points, I will give you all three points.
02:27Wow!
02:28You know, Sam, the key to seduction is all about invitation.
02:33So, you made this active.
02:34You saw the word seductively and you decided to invite.
02:37Yeah, invite was my action verb.
02:40Christine, you're up.
02:43I want you to play this with royal condescension.
02:48Oh, wow.
02:49Okay.
02:50You need to adjust your posture at all or you feel good?
02:52Hey, Sam, see a tape before you note it, huh?
02:56In order to go to sleep, I require the following.
03:01A pacifier betwixt my lips.
03:05A pacifier in my leftmost hand.
03:09A pacifier in my rightmost hand.
03:12A pacifier betwixt the toes of my leftmost foot.
03:17A pacifier betwixt the toes of my rightmost foot.
03:21Several other pacifiers just because.
03:25And my binky, who I refer to as Goo Goo.
03:28Ooh, Christine, I felt the diva.
03:32This was like American reality show royalty.
03:35Yeah.
03:36Out of a possible three points, I will give you all three points as well.
03:40Lou.
03:41Yes?
03:42I want you to play this deeply wounded.
03:46We can do something like that.
03:50How could you?
03:53Why did you?
03:56How dare you?
03:58Where did you?
04:01Who asked you?
04:05What possessed you?
04:09Wow.
04:16Wow.
04:20Wow.
04:21Wow.
04:22Wow.
04:24Wow, wow.
04:26Wow, wow.
04:27Wow.
04:28Wow.
04:30Wow.
04:33Wow.
04:35Wow.
04:39Wow.
04:40Holy shit, Lou.
04:43There was a moment where I thought it was that you had just replayed the same wow card.
04:49And I started going like, where are we?
04:53I'll give Sam a minute to catch up.
04:55In the range of wows.
04:57You explored the space.
04:58You brought each of those wows to life in their own way.
05:01Out of a possible three points.
05:03I'm going to say three points.
05:05And I'm realizing that there may be a flaw in my game.
05:08I may be such a big fan of you guys that I just can't help but give you all the points that there are available.
05:15It's almost as if this experiment needs a control.
05:23This sucks.
05:25I think I know what's about to happen.
05:28Noticing now having been nominated for two Emmys just this week for The Mandalorian and Better Call Saul, it's Giancarlo Esposito.
05:42Let the games begin.
05:44Oh, no.
05:47Are you sure you're ready for this?
05:49No.
05:50There's quite literally no way we could have been ready for this.
05:54I'm going to redo those last three props, but it's going to be Giancarlo leading the charge.
06:01I will be deducting points from you based on how I think you did.
06:09Okay.
06:10Giancarlo, I would like for you to play this seductively.
06:17I have a very bad toenail fungus.
06:23It spreads rapidly from person to person.
06:28It makes your toenails look like shattered peat ice.
06:36It smells like one of those cheese factories in Panama, Italy.
06:49One time, my dog smelled my feet, and it vomited.
06:55Another time, my toe fell straight off.
07:01Ooh.
07:03He even upped it from toenail to just full toe.
07:08A couple of notes.
07:09Absolutely.
07:10Please.
07:11Out of a possible three points, Grant, I'm going to take two of those points away from you.
07:15Hope you don't mind.
07:17I have never been as properly seduced as I was just now over video conference.
07:22Next, Mr. Esposito with royal condescension.
07:28In order to go to sleep, I require the following.
07:33A pacifier betwixt my lips.
07:36A pacifier in my leftmost hand.
07:42A pacifier in my rightmost.
07:44A pacifier betwixt my toes of my left foot.
07:48A pacifier betwixt the toes of my right foot.
07:52Several other pacifiers just because.
07:56And my binky, who you will call Goo Goo.
08:04I am going to have to take two of those points away from you as well.
08:09You understand where I'm coming from.
08:11I'm happy because he did the accent and everything.
08:13Now, Lou, your performance of this was very strong.
08:17I agree.
08:18Let's see what happens.
08:20Oh, boy.
08:23How?
08:26How could you?
08:28Why?
08:30Why did you?
08:33How dare you?
08:36Where did you?
08:38Who asked you?
08:41What possessed you?
08:43How?
08:45Wow.
08:47Wow.
08:48Wow.
08:49Wow.
08:50Wow.
08:51Wow.
08:52Wow.
08:53Wow.
08:54Wow.
08:55Wow.
09:02Wow is right.
09:04So much gravitas, a real exploration of the word wow.
09:08Lou, I'm going to let you keep two of those points.
09:10Yes.
09:11We're judging art against art here, Sam.
09:13And I don't know that that's – so much of this business is competition.
09:17We're being pit against each other.
09:19I don't understand it.
09:20I don't know why that would be the goal here.
09:21But anyway, it's your show.
09:22Go ahead.
09:23You're saying there's like a merit flaw to me delivering points for performances?
09:28It really makes you think, what are the Emmys?
09:32It makes me think the same thing.
09:34You killed it.
09:37Now that we've all had the jot of espresso that is the surprise celebrity appearance, Grant,
09:44it's all the way back to you.
09:47Oh, good.
09:48In near to silent fear.
09:52Farmer that had a dog.
09:55And bingo.
09:58What's his name-o?
10:00B-I-N-G-O.
10:05B-I-N-G-O.
10:08B-I-N-G-O.
10:11And bingo.
10:12What's his name-o?
10:13Ooh.
10:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:16Sort of a prayer to an absent god is how I like to imagine.
10:22I like knowing your problems faster, everyone.
10:26That's the mark of a professional, right?
10:28Here's what I was going for.
10:29Mr. Esposito.
10:31In near to silent fear.
10:34Farmer that had a dog.
10:39And bingo.
10:42What's his name-o?
10:45B-I-N-G-O.
10:49B-I-N-G-O.
10:51B-I-N-G-O.
10:56And bingo.
10:59B-I-N-G-O.
11:03B-I-N-G-O.
11:05B-I-N-G-O.
11:08B-I-N-G-O.
11:12That was fabulous.
11:15Just a couple of notes.
11:19I like to think of it more as a prayer to an absent god.
11:23You know, I like to think of mine as a prayer without the absent god.
11:27Interesting. Grant, I will let you hold on to two of those points.
11:32The best I could hope for.
11:33Christine.
11:35So, so gentle.
11:39If you take your fingers like this, and you touch them together like this,
11:47then it's like your fingers are kissing each other, see?
11:52And if you take your hands like this, and you interlace your fingers like this,
12:02then it's like your hands are hugging each other, see?
12:06If you take your arms like this, and you put them down your sides like this,
12:17that, my friend, that's a you sandwich.
12:21Wow. That was great.
12:23It was almost like a bittersweet quality to that. It wasn't just sweet, it was bittersweet.
12:28I just like to think of it as like a prayer to like an absent god.
12:34Giancarlo.
12:36If you take your fingers like this, and you touch them together like this,
12:47then it's like your fingers are kissing, see?
12:53And if you take your hands like this, and you interlace your fingers like this,
13:04then it's like your hands are hugging each other, see?
13:12If you take your arms like this, and you put them down your sides like this,
13:20then, my friend, that's a you sandwich.
13:27Oh, baby!
13:29You almost got David Bowie in the labyrinth, gentle, you know what I mean?
13:36Semi-seductive, coaxing you into the dark place, gentle, there.
13:41Christine, I'm going to let you hold on to two of those points, Mr. Wilson.
13:46Oh.
13:48With fantastical whimsy.
13:51Give me one second.
13:55I've also now taken Giancarlo Esposito's bubble out of my modern grid view,
13:59because it is too distracting.
14:02It will psych you out, I get it.
14:04Let me inspire you.
14:07Welcome to IKEA!
14:11Wondrous world of mystery and intrigue.
14:15What lies over yonder?
14:17Why, it's a living room set!
14:19And over yonder still, even further, the finest art already in a frame.
14:26And ahoy!
14:28Set sail south, and ye shall find toilets!
14:33Oh, venture forth, and remember, you're only ever a moment away from a meatball.
14:40Ooh, love it, Zu!
14:43This is a long time.
14:45Zu, very well done.
14:47IKEA, you're welcome for this freebrand talk.
14:50Thank you, Giancarlo.
14:52Welcome, welcome to IKEA.
14:57A wondrous world of mystery and intrigue.
15:02What lies over yonder?
15:04Why, it's a living room set!
15:08And over yonder still, the finest art already in a frame, ready to be swiped.
15:16And ahoy!
15:17Ahoy!
15:18Set sail south, and ye shall find toilets!
15:26Oh, venture forth, and remember, you're only ever a moment away from a meatball.
15:38But of course, what's more fantastical and whimsical than a sudden accent shift?
15:43What the fuck was I thinking?
15:45I was going for French, I didn't quite get there, but it's okay.
15:49Lou, I will let you keep two of those points.
15:52Don't get used to this, players.
15:54Right.
15:55I have some stuff prepared, too, I could do just like in my life.
15:59After 72 hours awake, Grant.
16:04Sharks, have I got a pitch for you.
16:06Let's talk sleep.
16:07The average person sleeps eight hours a day.
16:10But what if we didn't need sleep?
16:12That's a third of the day that we'd get back.
16:15That's why I've created Sleep No More, the horn that keeps you awake.
16:20Bed, pie, pillows, poof!
16:24Yeah, blankets.
16:30Yeah, blankets.
16:32Grant!
16:33What a face!
16:35Wow.
16:36I like that.
16:37I like the almost like, um.
16:39Cocaine?
16:40Cocaine-addled performance.
16:41The cocaine of it all?
16:42Wow, Grant threw me there, that's good.
16:44We got that on film?
16:45We got that on film?
16:46Cool.
16:47Yeah, you're going away.
16:51What's that?
16:52No, no, no, no, I was just going to say.
16:56No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:59Are you serious?
17:00Yeah.
17:01Stop it.
17:02Sharks, have I got a pitch for you.
17:03That's, let's talk sleep.
17:04The average person sleeps eight hours a day.
17:06But if we didn't need sleep, that's a third of the day that we'd get back.
17:14That's why I've created Sleep No More, the horn that keeps you awake.
17:19Frankie.
17:22Oh.
17:29I love it, Jack, girl, I love it!
17:32This is hard, gang.
17:34I liked both of those performances.
17:37Sammy, don't blame you.
17:38As a judge, I think it's my duty
17:40to offer credit where credit is due.
17:42Grant, I'm gonna award you all three of those points.
17:44Get out!
17:45Yeah!
17:46Christine, hiding that you're drunk.
17:49Just give me one second.
17:50Yeah.
17:51Ha ha ha ha!
17:56Christine, you ready?
17:59I do solemnly swear
18:05that I will faithfully execute,
18:09excuse me, the office of President of the United States
18:17and I will do to the best of my ability,
18:28sorry, preserve.
18:31Ha ha ha ha!
18:39Protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
18:46The United States.
18:50Wow!
18:52When you stepped on a frame, did you take a shot?
18:54No, I did a bunch of, I spun around in a circle.
18:57Oh, cool, oh, that's awesome.
18:59That's awesome.
19:00I love it.
19:01Okay, give me a second.
19:02Ha ha ha ha ha!
19:13Are we rolling?
19:15Wait, wait, no, no, wait, wait, no, no.
19:18Ha ha ha ha!
19:21Can I have that?
19:22Oh, yeah, excuse me.
19:24Ha ha ha ha!
19:27Just give me a minute, give me a minute.
19:29Ha ha ha ha!
19:32I do solemnly swear
19:38that I will faithfully execute the Constitution
19:44of the Office of the Presidency
19:48to the best of my ability.
19:55Yeah, that's what I said.
19:57Yeah.
19:58Ha ha ha ha!
19:59Sorry.
20:00Ha ha ha ha!
20:03Preserve and protect and defend
20:06the Constitution of the United States.
20:12Ha ha ha ha!
20:18Oh my gosh, I got warm after that.
20:22There is brilliance happening in the studio.
20:26I like both of those better
20:28than a lot of presidents doing that,
20:29so that's great.
20:30Ha ha ha ha!
20:32Christine, I'm gonna keep all three of those points.
20:35Yeah, baby, yeah, baby.
20:38Mr. Wilson.
20:40Devils.
20:42That's mean.
20:43This is where I'm gonna make my money, right here.
20:45Ha ha ha ha!
20:47Oh, I love the fucking confidence.
20:49Fucking go.
20:50Ha ha ha ha!
20:52Go.
20:53Okay, so, you're telling me.
20:56Ha ha ha ha!
20:58You're telling me this whole time.
21:00Ha ha ha ha!
21:01This whole time.
21:03Ha ha ha ha!
21:07I thought you meant pie!
21:09Ha ha ha ha!
21:12And then like,
21:14ha ha ha ha!
21:15And then blueberry!
21:16Ha ha ha!
21:18And then like pumpkin!
21:20But in fact,
21:22in fact,
21:24you meant pie!
21:27Ha ha ha ha!
21:29And then 3.14!
21:31Ha ha ha ha!
21:33Five!
21:34Ha ha ha ha!
21:35Nine!
21:36Ha ha ha ha!
21:39Five!
21:40Ha ha ha ha!
21:41Five, eight!
21:42No!
21:43Ha ha ha ha!
21:45It's six and nine!
21:47Ha ha ha ha!
21:48No!
21:49Ha ha ha ha!
21:51Nine, four, six!
21:54Two!
21:55Ha ha ha!
21:56Six!
21:57Ha ha ha ha!
21:58Six!
21:59Ha ha ha ha!
21:59Wow, Lou!
22:02Wow!
22:03Oh my God!
22:05Ugh, Sam, you asshole.
22:07I didn't know how long it was gonna be,
22:08so I was like,
22:10when are we gonna?
22:11It almost felt like an orgasm with two peaks,
22:13you know what I mean?
22:14Ha ha ha ha!
22:15Giancarlo, here we go, man.
22:17Ha ha ha ha!
22:20Ha ha ha ha!
22:23You're telling me!
22:25Ha ha ha ha!
22:27It is, it is a long time!
22:29Ha ha ha ha!
22:31It is this whole time!
22:37I thought that you meant pie!
22:40Ha ha ha ha!
22:42As in blueberry!
22:45Ha ha ha ha!
22:47As in pumpkin!
22:49Ha ha ha ha!
22:51In fact, in fact, you meant pie!
22:56Ha ha ha ha!
22:59As in, as in,
23:00ha ha ha ha!
23:03As in, three point one four!
23:05Ha ha ha ha!
23:09One, five, nine, two, six!
23:13Ha ha ha ha!
23:16Five, six, five, five, five, five,
23:17three, five, eight, nine!
23:18Ha ha ha ha!
23:20Seven, nine, three, two, three!
23:23Ha ha ha ha!
23:26Eight, four,
23:27wait, wait, wait, eight, eight,
23:28eight, eight, eight, eight,
23:29eight, four, six, five, six!
23:32Ha ha ha ha!
23:35Blueberry pumpkin, blueberry pumpkin!
23:37Ha ha ha ha!
23:40I'm going home!
23:41Oh my God!
23:42I'm going home!
23:43I'm moving back in with my parents
23:44and I'm going to law school.
23:46No, you don't go to law school, brother.
23:48You stay at home.
23:49That's what you're doing.
23:50How are both of your abs doing?
23:52I'm feeling mine.
23:53Both of those were A plus performances
23:57with A plus commitment.
23:59Blue, I'm going to let you keep
24:00all those three points as well.
24:02Yes, indeed.
24:03Last round, gang, last round.
24:06With serial killer-like sociopathy.
24:09Here's where I earn my money.
24:10There you go.
24:11Ha ha ha ha!
24:12A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, R.
24:27Ha ha ha ha!
24:29Z, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, P.
24:43Oh, I'm sorry.
24:44Ha ha ha ha!
24:46Did I do something wrong?
24:49Have I upset you?
24:51Ooh!
24:52Scrimp!
24:53Bone-chilling!
24:56My heart is racing right now.
24:58I just want to go on record
24:59and say getting Gus Fring to do this
25:01is the proudest I've ever been.
25:02Ha ha ha ha!
25:04A, B, C, D, E, F, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O,
25:25Z, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, P.
25:49Oh, I'm sorry.
25:54Did I do something wrong?
25:57Did I upset you?
26:00Ooh!
26:02Shivers.
26:04Absolute shivers.
26:07Who knew the alphabet could be quite so harrowing?
26:12You put so much bass in your voice.
26:14It was so good.
26:15You did that bass.
26:17You used that bass.
26:18I dug deep for that.
26:19Grant, I'm going to let you hold onto two of those points.
26:23Perfectly reasonable.
26:24Thank you, sir.
26:25You are competing, perhaps, with my favorite character
26:28in the history of television.
26:29Christine.
26:30Me in Total Forgiveness?
26:31Ha ha ha ha!
26:33Christine in Terrible Grief.
26:40His name was Mario.
26:42He was my guy.
26:48We used to run around together.
26:51He would spray me on the couch.
26:53He'd hop.
26:54I'd laugh.
26:56He'd grow, and he'd shrink, and he would turn into a raccoon.
27:02I'd be so impressed.
27:05And then, one day, I pushed him too hard, too fast, and he fell.
27:18And, well, the game over.
27:24Hot damn, Christine.
27:27I feel like I can do it better.
27:30Giancarlo, the floor is yours.
27:33His name was Mario.
27:36He was my guy.
27:38We used to run around together.
27:44Him on the screen, me on the couch.
27:51He'd hop, and I'd laugh, and grow, and he'd shrink, and he'd turn into a raccoon.
27:59I would be so impressed.
28:02And then, one day, I pushed him too hard, and he fell.
28:14Oh, my life.
28:19He, he, he, he, he.
28:23Game over.
28:25Bravo.
28:26Visimo.
28:28Christine, I'm gonna let you keep
28:29all three of those points.
28:30Right on.
28:31If anything, you actually cried.
28:34I can cry in Q.
28:36Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
28:38Last prompt of our game, friend.
28:41Lou, inspiring.
28:44Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
28:49Never give up.
28:52Never surrender.
28:56Whatever you do,
28:58whatever it is you find yourself doing,
29:02just keep pushing.
29:05The only enemy
29:09is fear.
29:10Lift those arms.
29:12Lift those legs.
29:14Work those machines up.
29:17You didn't come to spin class
29:20not to break a sweat.
29:23Looking good, Stephanie.
29:25Mm-hmm, looking real good.
29:27All right, three, two, one, and that is time.
29:30That is time.
29:31That is time.
29:34Good work, everyone.
29:37I'll see you tomorrow.
29:39Oh, love it.
29:42Way to navigate my twist there, Lou.
29:46All right, Dunker.
29:51Never give up.
29:53Never, never surrender.
29:55Either three, whatever you do,
29:57just keep pushing.
29:59The only enemy is fear.
30:02Lift those arms.
30:03Work those machines.
30:06You didn't come to spin class
30:07not to break a sweat.
30:09Looking good, Stephanie.
30:14Three, two, one, and that's time.
30:16Good work, everyone.
30:18Stretch it out, stretch it out.
30:19See you tomorrow.
30:24It looked like you were on a bike.
30:25This is tough for sure.
30:26Hey, Sam, do what you have to do, all right?
30:28Come on.
30:30I understand.
30:31Lou, I'm gonna give you all three of those points,
30:34which means if I'm not mistaken,
30:36you is the winner of this episode.
30:39Wow.
30:40Lou, you win an annual subscription to Disney+,
30:43where you might catch Giancarlo Esposito
30:46in The Mandalorian.
30:47I would love to catch Giancarlo Esposito
30:49in The Mandalorian.
30:50Giancarlo, I cannot tell you how much fun this was.
30:54This was a dream come true.
30:56Oh, thank you so much.
30:57A dream come true for me, man.
30:58What fun.
30:59Every one of you are so fantastic, playful.
31:02That's what it takes.
31:03I'm so grateful that I've been invited, Sam.
31:06That's it for us here at Game Changer.
31:08I am your host, Sam Rice, reminding you
31:10that there are no small parts, only bullshit game shows.
31:15Good night!
31:16Bye!