C finds love through a chance encounter in this emotive, witty and deeply visual reimagining of a poem by Simon Armitage | dG1fQzg4Sk9pNkxLdDA
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Sea was bitten on her ring finger by a teensy orange spider hiding inside a washed and ready
00:18to eat packet of sliced courgettes imported from Kenya.
00:23The finger swelled and tightened.
00:26How could the epidermis stretch so far without tearing apart?
00:29But the real problem was in her toes.
00:34Pretty soon she lost all feeling in her feet and dropped to the floor.
00:38And moment by moment the numbness increased as if molten lead were flowing through her
00:42veins to her lower limbs.
00:45However, her mind remained clear.
00:49And with great foresight, she thumped the leg of the kitchen table with the outside
00:53of her fist, causing the telephone handset to jump from the docking station and fall
00:57safely into the hairy tartan blanket in the wicker dog basket.
01:04She called her brother, Sandy.
01:07Sandy's voice said,
01:08Hi, I'm at the golf course, leave a message.
01:14She called her mother.
01:16Her mother said,
01:17Forget the spider.
01:18Where's that pastry brush I lent you?
01:22And the silver candlesticks you borrowed to impress that boss of yours at one of your
01:25fancy-pants dinner parties?
01:26Where will it all end, see?
01:27It'll be the melon baller next, then the ice cream scoop, and soon I'll have nothing.
01:28Do you hear me?
01:29Nothing.
01:30God knows I didn't bring you up to be a thief, but you have a problem with honesty, see?
01:31You really do.
01:32Did you find the man yet?
01:33Now, leave me alone.
01:34I've got to go.
01:35I've got to go.
01:36I've got to go.
01:37I've got to go.
01:38I've got to go.
01:39I've got to go.
01:40I've got to go.
01:41I've got to go.
01:42I've got to go.
01:43I've got to go.
01:44I've got to go.
01:46Now, leave me alone.
01:47Look at me, I'm the nurse coming.
01:50See's dog padded over and licked her chin, then went back into the living room to watch
01:57daytime TV.
02:00See lay on the tiles on the kitchen floor for a few cold, quiet minutes, considering
02:09the ever-after.
02:12Then with a good hand, she punched a long, random number into the keypad, 11 or 12 digits.
02:21After a lot of clicking and crackling, it rang.
02:24Who is this? said a man.
02:28My name's Cee, and I'm dying from a spider bite, she said, and described the incident
02:34with the insect and the pre-packed salad vegetables.
02:39The man said, I'm dying too.
02:40I've been adrift in an inflated inner tube in the Indian Ocean for six days now, and
02:41the end is near.
02:42I think a shark took my leg, but I daren't look.
02:43Why don't you call for help, she asked.
02:44Why don't you?
02:45He replied.
02:46His name was Dean.
02:47They chatted for a while, not caring a hoot about the cost of premium medical care, and
02:48the cost of premium rate international calls during peak periods.
03:17Is it dark there?
03:19Cee wanted to know.
03:20Yes.
03:21Are you married?
03:22Asked Dean.
03:23Cee replied.
03:24I've had no luck with men, even though I'm a lovely person and I've taken good care of
03:25my body.
03:26What's your best feature?
03:27My laugh, said Cee, laughing.
03:28And my lips, which have never received the attention they deserve.
03:46The poison had reached as far as her windpipe, and was tightening around her throat.
03:52Dean said,
03:53Do you think we could have made it together?
03:54I think so, she whispered.
03:55I don't like courgettes, Dean joked.
03:56And those were his last words.
03:57I would have done broccoli, she breathed.
03:58Or even cauliflower.
03:59Whatever you asked for, I would have made.
04:00There was a horrible pause, as we sat there wondering whether or not to applaud, and the
04:26curtains closed.
04:27And we were done.
04:28And we were done.
04:29And we were done.
04:30And we were done.
04:31And we were done.
04:32And we were done.
04:33And we were done.
04:34And we were done.
04:35And we were done.
04:36And we were done.
04:37And we were done.
04:38And we were done.
04:39And we were done.
04:40And we were done.
04:41And we were done.
04:42And we were done.
04:43And we were done.
04:44And we were done.
04:45And we were done.
04:46And we were done.
04:47And we were done.
04:48And we were done.
04:49And we were done.
04:50And we were done.
04:51And we were done.
04:52And we were done.
04:53And we were done.
04:54And we were done.
04:55And we were done.