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00:00Want to talk to you today about let them walk
00:03We all have people that God brings across our path that are there for a lifetime our spouse
00:10Children friends that we cherish they're loyal stick with us through thick and thin
00:16But not every relationship is designed to last forever
00:21There are seasons and sometimes a good season will come to an end
00:26Who you needed to raise your children may not be the same ones you need when they're grown and gone
00:33Other times God has taken you higher
00:36You're growing the people that have been with you can't go where you're going so doors will close
00:43One of the hardest things for us is to let people go
00:47You have to recognize when their part in your story is over
00:52Doesn't mean you can't still be friends, but it's not going to be the same
00:56If not, we try to hold on to things that God is finished with
01:01When that season is over, there's no grace for it. There's this tension
01:06They want to leave but we don't want them to go
01:09How it's a struggle a strain trying to force it to work
01:13But when someone wants to walk away you have to learn to let them walk
01:19We spend too much time trying to convince people to stay and let to play up to them
01:25Manipulate why aren't they calling?
01:28Am I not good enough? I hope they come by
01:31Do yourself a favor move on with your life
01:35Don't waste another minute trying to convince someone to love you call you come see you
01:42You are a gift
01:44You are a treasure a prize possession if someone doesn't recognize your value
01:51They don't treat you like the masterpiece that you are with respect with honor
01:56That's a sign that season has changed you have to move forward
02:02God has already ordained
02:04Divine connections for you people that can't live without you people that love being with you
02:10Can't wait to see you and sometimes the reason we're not seeing these people is we're holding on to the wrong people
02:19Quit chasing someone that doesn't want to be with you
02:23Letting them control you
02:25Manipulate you hoping that you'll gain their approval. Then they'll let you in their friend group
02:31Here's the problem if you do convince them they become your friend
02:36How you started that relationship is how you're going to have to maintain it
02:41It's going to be a constant struggle to keep performing
02:45manipulating conniving
02:47Solomon said unless the Lord builds the house we labor in vain
02:53If you'll let God bring your relationships and trust him with who comes into your life, then it's not a struggle
03:00You can be who you are
03:02You don't live trying to force people to like you lower your standards to be accepted
03:09Someone wouldn't want to be in your life. It's no big deal. You let them go
03:14It doesn't mean that they're a bad person
03:16Something's wrong with them. They're just not right for you at this time
03:21Maybe they were fine for a season, but this is a new season
03:25And the scripture talks about how God is our doorkeeper
03:29He opens and closes doors in our life
03:33When God closes a door, there's nothing you can do to keep that door open
03:38You can strive and strain try to talk people into staying perform better
03:44That's laboring in vain
03:47All that's going to do is wear you out
03:49Frustrate you cause you to get bitter
03:52Try a new approach and let them go if people can walk away from you. They're not a part of your destiny
04:00Don't take it personally don't get offended be critical. God is ordering your steps
04:07The people he's ordained to be in your life cannot leave you can't get rid of them
04:13They love you. No matter what they accept you with no makeup. No coffee. They come when you don't call
04:19They show up when you didn't ask they laugh with you cry with you. They don't judge you
04:25You never have to think about performing
04:28Manipulating hoping they like you they're a divine connection God ordained him to be there
04:35Now just the opposite is true
04:37The people that are not supposed to be in your life cannot stay
04:42It's not up to them. God has closed that door
04:46No matter how hard you try how much you serve give play up to it's not going to change
04:53Take the pressure off
04:54Quit trying to win someone over that's not supposed to be there
04:59We hear that phrase. They ghosted me man. They just disappeared
05:04They didn't call they didn't respond. They may have ghosted you but sometimes it's the Holy Ghost shutting that door
05:13They don't even know why
05:16It's because God is your doorkeeper
05:19He knows who's good for you and who's not
05:23Who has the right motives and who's just there for what you can do for them?
05:27He knows who will add value and move you further into your destiny
05:32And who is a distraction a dead end there to get you off course?
05:37Bottom line if someone doesn't want to be your friend. Don't waste another second trying to convince them
05:45If you have to perform to stay in a relationship
05:48It's always a struggle. You don't feel like you measure up. They're not for you. That's laboring in vain
05:55Let God build your house
05:57Trust him to bring the right people and here's the key you have to be at peace with who walks away
06:05At peace with those who don't accept you
06:09Recognize when their part in your story is over
06:12You don't have to get bitter live offended God is the one behind the scenes
06:18opening and closing doors
06:21That friend may have been great for ten years. Then the season changed. They're not around
06:27Well that person walked out on you broke your heart
06:30I know that's painful, but you have to realize if they left you you didn't need them
06:38If you needed them for your purpose for your assignment they would still be there
06:44the scripture says that
06:46God will never leave us or forsake us if they walked out
06:51Ghosted you betrayed you and you needed them. That would mean God was forsaking you
06:58You can draw the conclusion if they walked away
07:02Their part in your story was over
07:05If they don't want to be your friend, you don't need them if they don't value you
07:10Make you feel like you have something to offer. They're not for you. You have to move on
07:16Quit trying to talk people into staying they don't want to stay let them walk
07:22Jesus told his disciples when you go into a city if they don't accept the message of the good news
07:29They're not for you and they don't want you to be there
07:32He didn't say man, you got to work harder spend more time. Try to convince them
07:37No, he said shake the dust off your feet and go on to the next city
07:42He was saying don't waste your time trying to win people over that are not a part of your destiny
07:50Someone doesn't want to be with you. They don't like you. They don't validate you shake the dust off and move on
07:58Accept that they're not a part of your story if they can walk away you have to let them walk
08:05If you try to convince them, it's going to be a constant source of frustration
08:10And yes, God can change their mind if they're supposed to be there. He'll turn things around
08:16You're not supposed to live trying to talk people into liking you being your friend hoping they call
08:24God created you in his own image. You have royal blood flowing through your veins
08:29He's already lined up people that recognize your value people that love being with you
08:37There's a lady in the scripture named Naomi
08:39Her husband passed away and she became a widow at a young age
08:44Ten years later, both of her grown sons were killed. She was so heartbroken
08:50She decided to move back to her hometown of Bethlehem
08:54She told her two daughters-in-law
08:57Ruth and Orpah that they should move back to their homes as well and go on with their lives
09:03The three of them packed up their belongings and headed out on the road toward Judah. They came to an intersection and stopped
09:10Naomi said this is where we part ways you both go that way and I'm gonna go on to Bethlehem
09:17The scripture says Orpah kissed Naomi goodbye and headed down the road
09:23Orpah was a good person. She loved Naomi, but now she was leaving
09:29Naomi could have been upset man after all I did for her. She's leaving me in my darkest time when I need her the most
09:37No, Naomi understood. This was a new season that things had changed that it was okay for her to walk away
09:46She was at peace with who left
09:48She accepted Orpah not being a part of her life in the same way without being critical and bitter toward her
09:57We like to hold on to people and stay here meet my needs keep it the same
10:02It's a mark of maturity to let people walk away
10:07takes trust
10:08You're saying God I know you're my doorkeeper you're opening and closing the doors of relationships in my life
10:17The other daughter-in-law Ruth was just the opposite
10:21Naomi tried to get her to leave she said Ruth. There's no future going with me
10:27Nothing in Bethlehem for you. You deserve more for your life
10:31She gave her best speech every opportunity to leave with no guilt
10:36But Ruth said in verse 16 Naomi, I can't leave I will go wherever you go
10:44Live wherever you live your people will be my people your God will be my God
10:50May the Lord punish me if I allow anything to separate us
10:55How could one daughter-in-law leave so easily the other want to stay?
11:00They both loved their mother-in-law
11:03But Ruth sensed that her destiny was tied to Naomi
11:08She felt this connection that was stronger than her own family
11:12She watched her sister-in-law Orpah walk away, but something in her said you have to stay
11:19In life, you'll have a lot of Orpah's people that leave they're good people
11:25But the season is over things change. They're busy
11:30Distracted you have to let them go
11:33Be at peace with who left Oh fault them. Don't get critical. God is closing the door
11:40They're in Orpah
11:41They were instrumental in your life for a season. They were necessary
11:46But now their part in your story is over. The good news is God will always give you a Ruth
11:54Someone you can't get rid of they stick with you through thick and thin. They know their destiny is tied to you
12:02But sometimes we try to convince the Orpah's to stay spending time and energy got a manipulate perform
12:12Orpah loved Naomi, but she left
12:15People can love you and leave if they walk away. They're not a bad person
12:21God shut the door that season ended but when it's a Ruth, there's nothing you can do to convince them to go
12:30When you understand this it takes the pressure off you're not frustrated over who left
12:36Bitter over that person that ghosted you
12:39Striving to get that co-worker to accept you that's laboring in vain
12:44Let God bring your relationships. Trust him with your open and closed doors
12:50If someone leaves do like Naomi kiss them. Goodbye
12:55Not bitter angry man. They never call me back
12:59Why won't they invite me to their group?
13:01You're not supposed to be there
13:03You can't open a door that God has closed and you can't close a door that God is open
13:10They can't leave when God has purposed it if they walked away
13:15They were supposed to go if they didn't stay you didn't need them kiss them. Goodbye and move on
13:23The mistake we make sometimes is instead of kissing them. Goodbye. We kick them. Goodbye
13:29Get root good riddance. Get out of here. I didn't like you. Anyway, talk bad critical live offended
13:37They may have done you wrong
13:39Betrayed you left you out. God is your vindicator
13:43He'll take care of who hurts you
13:46But if you let that bitterness get on the inside, it's going to poison your next relationship
13:52You have to be at peace with who left you have to accept who walked away as a part of God's plan
14:00Yes, it was painful wasn't fair, but God wouldn't have allowed it if it wasn't moving you towards your destiny
14:08Sometimes he closes doors. We don't understand. He takes the orpahs out of our life people
14:15We were counting on friends. We were used to but he always has a Ruth
14:20He always has the right people destiny connections
14:25the late
14:261950s my father was pastoring a successful church
14:30It was growing it just built a beautiful new sanctuary the future looked so bright
14:36My sister Lisa was born with something like cerebral palsy
14:40The doctors told my parents that she'd probably never be able to walk or feed herself
14:45My father went away for a few days to read the scripture like he had never read it before
14:52He saw how Jesus went around healing people doing miracles and how when you believe all things are possible
14:59He was taught in seminary back then that miracles only happen in Bible days
15:05He came back to his church with a new fire and he shared this message of faith and victory
15:11He thought everyone would be excited, but it was just the opposite
15:15It didn't fit into their tradition
15:18Things got so contentious and so divisive that my parents were forced out of the church. They had to resign
15:26My mother was 26 years old. She had lifelong friends that never spoke to her again
15:33People she had known for years gone to school with raised children with done life together now they walked away
15:41Wouldn't have anything to do with her
15:43Mother is about to be 91 years old
15:46I have never heard her say one negative thing about those people never heard her complain about them
15:53belittle them
15:55Sure, it was hurtful. She felt the sting of rejected
15:59Rejection being misunderstood some of them talked about her and my father
16:04She could have tried to defend herself
16:06Convinced them to change their mind keep them on her side
16:11She understood this principle if people can walk away you have to let them walk if they leave you
16:18Accept it as a part of your destiny
16:21Don't spend your life trying to change people's minds and win them over
16:26Convince them to approve you like Naomi you have to kiss them. Goodbye
16:32Not bitter. I'll show you I'm gonna make you look bad
16:36Leave it in God's hands
16:38When you're at peace with who walked away you're passing the test that's when you'll see the new things God is doing
16:46My parents went out and started Lakewood Mother's Day
16:501959 with 90 people the critics said it would never last but here we are today
16:5665 years later and still going strong
17:01The fact is
17:02My parents couldn't have fulfilled their destiny at that church
17:07It was a limited environment
17:09Orpah had to walk away
17:11Those people had to misunderstand my parents. They had to reject them. It was painful, but it was God closing the door
17:20You're not always going to understand what God is doing and why this person treated you this way
17:26You've been good to them, but they left you out said things that weren't true
17:31Leave it in God's hands
17:33Don't spend all your energy trying to convince people to stay they don't want to stay
17:39Some people no matter what you do how hard you try how good you are to them. They're gonna find fault
17:47Misunderstand want to leave best thing you can do is let them go
17:52There's something called the gift of goodbye
17:55We see it as a disappointment
17:57Really they're doing you a favor
17:59They had to leave so you can see the greater things the levels you couldn't reach with those same people
18:06It doesn't mean they're bad. It's just a new season
18:09God is doing a new thing. So Orpah has to go but Ruth will always be there
18:16God is controlling the doors in your life who comes in and out of relationships
18:23If Ruth had walked away said like Orpah, I'm out of here. I'm going to greener pastures
18:29I'm not staying with this old woman if she had not stuck with Naomi
18:34She would have never married Boaz and become the great-grandmother of King David
18:40Now we understand why she said I cannot leave
18:44Not maybe I'll come with you Naomi
18:47Maybe I'll go home for a few months and then come back to see you
18:50The people God has ordained for you cannot walk away
18:55Listen to Ruth's language. May the Lord punish me if I allow anything to separate us
19:02God will put such a strong desire in those who are supposed to stay that they can't leave
19:08Now quit worrying about the Orpah man. Why didn't they stay or thinking you have to work harder?
19:14Perform better convince them to not leave that's not your job
19:19Take the pressure off you have a doorkeeper a God who opens and closes doors a God who moves people out
19:27On purpose and a God who causes people to not be able to walk away
19:33Your part my part is to honor God
19:36Treat people with respect be kind be loving
19:41But you don't have to beg people to stay
19:44You don't have to play up to that friend
19:47Hoping they'll give you the time of day
19:49Let that co-worker manipulate talk down belittle. If not, they won't accept you
19:55You don't need them the sooner you let them walk away the better off you're gonna be
20:01And I'm not saying to be rude and mean and treat them the same way
20:07I'm just saying quit depending on them for your value
20:11Thinking you have to have them to reach your destiny. You don't need them to feel good about who you are
20:17Let them walk away and God will bring people into your life that see you as a masterpiece
20:24People that celebrate who you are that love spending time with you and I know when someone leaves
20:30It's hard to be looked down on
20:32betrayed
20:33Rejected but what if you knew like my parents that it had to happen so you could see your Lakewood
20:41What if you knew God closing the door was to take you to greater levels?
20:47It was a disappointment. But in fact them walking away is a present. They gave you the gift of goodbye
20:55Quit being discouraged over who left if they can leave they're not a part of your destiny
21:01The people that you need for this season cannot walk away
21:06It's very freeing when you realize
21:08God is your doorkeeper
21:10He's going to have the right people for the right each season of your life
21:16May not be who it's always been. I don't mean your spouse your children. They're with you. I'm talking about friends
21:22co-workers people you grew up with
21:25Yes, some are long-term but some may walk away
21:29You have to be at peace with who leaves some people they've been playing up to people for years
21:35Letting them control them manipulate live under so much pressure
21:40All because they're afraid if they don't perform this person may leave may not call may not approve
21:47This can save you a lot of heartache. Let them walk
21:51They don't want to be your friend
21:53It's their loss not yours if they don't call shake the dust off and move on
21:58If they ghost you take it as the Holy Ghost shutting that door keeping you from that jerk. I mean that person
22:06Few years after my father passed
22:08Church was really growing and we needed a larger auditorium
22:12My father always said that he would never move the church. I was young
22:17I didn't want to rock the boat, but when we got word that the compact center became available
22:23I knew it was supposed to be ours. I didn't announce it, but it came out in the news
22:2999% of the congregation was completely for it. Everyone's so excited
22:34But there was this one man. He would find me after every service
22:39Joel, you know your dad said he wouldn't move the church
22:43It's not right to go to that other location and if you go I'm not gonna come
22:49Well, my personality is to want everybody to be for and I said, well, man, let's just pray. Let's just wait
22:55Let's just see what happens
22:57Hoping to change his mind convince him to get on board
23:00But after about the 40th time of him telling me it wasn't right. He wasn't gonna come
23:07Something shifted in my spirit. I didn't say it, but I thought to myself. I hope you don't come
23:14in fact, you're not even invited a
23:17Stronghold was broken in my mind
23:21Thinking that if he leaves the world's gonna fall apart
23:25You can't accomplish your dreams worried about who's gonna walk away
23:30Who's gonna accept you and I got to perform play up to them make them like me. That's no way to live
23:36Why don't you take the pressure off?
23:38No matter how much Naomi would have tried. She couldn't have made or per se that wasn't a part of her destiny
23:45She was ordained to move on. She wasn't a bad person. It was just a new season
23:51Some people can't go where God has taken you. They're good people. They're great for a season
23:57But God has ordained you to go higher. It's going to take greater commitment greater faith greater consecration
24:04So he'll remove certain people that would limit you so you can fulfill your purpose
24:11John chapter 6 Jesus was teaching his disciples about commitment what it meant to be a follower of Christ
24:19Some of them didn't understand
24:21Verse 66 says at that point many of his disciples turned away and deserted him
24:29Here Jesus had given his life for them. They'd seen him do great miracles
24:34Traveled with him even together laughed together, but they walked away
24:39Jesus looked at the twelve disciples and said are you going to leave too?
24:44Peter said Jesus, where would we go? You have eternal life. We believe you're the Son of God
24:51He couldn't get rid of the twelve
24:53What's interesting is you never read where Jesus went chasing after the many disciples that left that day
25:01He chased after that one lost sheep that got off course, but he didn't go chasing after people that didn't want to stay
25:09Your destiny is not tied to those that left you
25:14God doesn't need anything you lost to bless you
25:17Those that walked away
25:19Didn't understand that betrayed they didn't stop what God has for you. Let it go
25:26Quit dwelling on it
25:28Reliving the hurt hoping that you can pay them back or trying to change their mind God closed that door
25:35I'm asking you to be at peace with those who have walked away
25:39Quit trying to hold on to people that don't want to be there
25:43You're not supposed to chase people to love you and accept you and believe in you you don't need them
25:50This takes the pressure off no more striving straining trying to convince people to be for you
25:57That's laboring in vain
25:58Trust God to be your doorkeeper
26:01Trust him with your relationships. If you'll do this, I believe and declare God will bring you divine
26:08Connections the right people for every season or per may have left
26:13But God has some roost coming for you people that cannot leave in Jesus name
26:19And if you receive it, can you say amen?
26:26Let's pray together if you have five minutes stick with me, we'll just seal it in prayer Lord
26:31I thank you for what we've heard today and Lord
26:33I know it falls on great ground faithful people here at Lakewood and so many watching and listening
26:39Lord we are going out of here knowing that you're our doorkeeper
26:43Trusting you with the people that you brought into our lives to to treat them, right?
26:48But Lord not not laboring in vain show us any areas Lord that we're out of balance and we're gonna trust you
26:55We thank you Lord that you are in control and father as your people go out this week
27:00I thank you that your angels are watching after them
27:04Protecting them guiding them guarding them and their children. Thank you for it in Jesus name
27:11With our heads bowed in prayer. Just a quick question
27:15If your heart stopped beating in the next few minutes, are you at peace with God?
27:22Do you know where you'd spend eternity if you died a little while from now
27:26If not, I would love to pray with you
27:29I'm not here to condemn anybody. I'm here to help you find a new beginning
27:34I know this comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ
27:40In just a moment if you're not at peace with the Lord, or maybe you are a Christian, but you've grown cold toward God
27:49You know, you need to rededicate your life
27:52You need a fresh new start if that's you in just a moment
27:56I'm gonna ask you to take a step of faith and stand right where you are and we'll pray together. I
28:03Can't think of a better time to get on the road to victory than right now
28:08God is not mad at you
28:10Your sins have already been forgiven. All you have to do is accept the free gift of Christ's salvation
28:18Will you do it today?
28:20The enemy in your thoughts, he'll whisper do it next week. Do it another time
28:25Listen to what the Bible says today is the day of salvation
28:30Don't put it off
28:31You're not hearing this by accident
28:34But oh, it's embarrassing to stand in front of everyone had people at the house
28:38I can't lift my hand listen to what Jesus said if you won't be ashamed of me before people
28:45Then I won't be ashamed of you before my father in heaven
28:50I'm gonna give you a great opportunity to show God that you're not ashamed of him
28:55if you're not at peace with the Lord, or you just need to
29:00Recommit your life to Christ. You need a fresh new start
29:03If that's you would you be bold take that step of faith and stand right where you are and we'll pray together
29:09Would you do that? Come on Lakewood. Let's give him a hand
29:13As they send all over the building
29:17Come on don't put it off
29:21I feel like that'll be a few more anybody else. Come on Lakewood. Let's cheer them in. They're still standing up top
29:28Still time for you anybody else watching listening
29:34Well, God bless you and please remain standing if you don't mind
29:37Let me tell you how proud we are of you
29:40I know that took courage to stand and more importantly
29:43I know the angels are rejoicing in the heavens
29:46God's never going to be ashamed of you because you took this step of faith
29:50The scripture says that whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. Let me help you to call
29:57Do you mind all praying this after me Lord Jesus? I
30:02repent of my sins
30:05Come into my heart. I'm making my Lord and Savior
30:11Amen remain standing one more moment. I want to tell you how much we love you. We're gonna be praying for you
30:16I want to give you also a personal invitation and a challenge to come back and be with us on a regular basis
30:23We ask new believers. Give us the next year of your life
30:28Make a commitment just like you go to work that for the next year
30:31You're gonna be here every time you can I'll make a promise before that year is over
30:36Your life will never be the same for the better
30:39We're gonna help you grow and become who God's created you to be. I hope you get involved here
30:45Get plugged in be a part of our volunteer teams. Love to have you and you'll meet some awesome people as well
30:51Hey after service right over here. There's a room called new beginnings. If you need anything, please stop by
30:57There's great classes after service as well. I'm gonna be in the lobby. You don't have time today
31:03Whenever you do have time, I'd be honored to meet you
31:06But know this the moment you stood up God washed away all your sins your mistakes your failures
31:12You are starting with a fresh clean slate
31:15Write it down in your Bible
31:17September 15
31:192024 a new day of victory in your life in Jesus name. Amen. Amen. Well, let's all stand together if you would, please
31:28Thanks for coming out today. How many of you going home better off than you were before? Amen
31:34Well, we love you guys. I'm gonna speak a blessing
31:37Until we meet again
31:38May the Lord bless you and keep you
31:41May the Lord show you his favor and have mercy on you and may the Lord watch over you and give you his peace
31:48God bless you. Have a great week a favor filled week. We'll see you back real soon