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00:00All right crafts, tomorrow is show and tell. So bring your favorite thing to crafts tomorrow so you can show the crafts and tell them about it. Get it? Because that's why it's called show and tell.
00:12Show and tell? Oh my god, I have so much cool stuff I can bring.
00:15Oh guys, I'm going to bring RoKill. So tell me guys, what dead animal do you want to see?
00:19Me and Ken are going to bring the coolest thing ever that I bet nobody else has.
00:23Well Penelope, what are you going to bring?
00:24I'm going to bring something close to my heart.
00:27Guys, she's going to show us her boobs.
00:28What?
00:29Yeah, it's close to your heart. Your heart's right here and your boobs are outside your heart.
00:31Ugh, shut up Junior.
00:33Or she's going to show us her rib cage.
00:35Yes Joseph, that would be close to her heart.
00:38I knew it.
00:39Hmm, what should I bring for show and tell tomorrow?
00:42You should bring a microscope so everyone can see your little tiny brain, dummy.
00:47Well, you should bring a microscope to show everyone your tiny weird.
00:50I bet whatever you bring tomorrow is going to be stupid.
00:52I'll have you know that I have a cat piano that makes cat noises.
00:56No, no you don't, that's impossible.
00:58Well, I do have one and you'll see it tomorrow because that's where I'm going to bring it.
01:02Well, if you don't bring it, you're a loser.
01:04Well, I'm going to bring it so I'm not a loser.
01:06Yeah right, I'll believe it when I see it.
01:08Oh man, I can't wait to pour a tall glass of soda.
01:11Oh yeah, it's going to look so good.
01:13Oh yeah.
01:14Hey Marvin!
01:15Oh no!
01:16Look what you did!
01:18Why did you do that?
01:19You startled me!
01:21Marvin, his toy's ruined. Jeffy's going to be mad.
01:24Look, he shouldn't be leaving his toys in the kitchen.
01:26It's not ruined, just grab some napkins so we can clean it up.
01:28Okay.
01:30Alright Marvin, it's all clean.
01:32It looks good as new. Jeffy won't notice that you poured soda on it.
01:34I didn't pour soda on it, you did!
01:36Baby, if you wouldn't have scared me, I wouldn't have dropped it so it's your fault.
01:39That's not my fault!
01:40Alright then, I need my cat piano.
01:42Here it is Jeffy.
01:44Alright, sweet.
01:45How was school Jeffy?
01:47What?
01:48What's wrong Jeffy?
01:49My kitty cat piano is not making kitty cat noises.
01:52Maybe it's not on.
01:54Nope, it's on.
01:55Maybe the batteries are dead.
01:57No, I changed them last night.
01:59Maybe she poured soda on it.
02:01I didn't pour soda on it, you did!
02:03If you wouldn't have scared me, I wouldn't have dropped the soda on it.
02:05Wait, you spilled soda on my cat piano?
02:08It was her.
02:10Jeffy, stop crying.
02:14You don't even need this dumb toy anyway.
02:16No, I need it for tomorrow at school.
02:19Why do you need it at school? You can't take this to school.
02:21Tomorrow is show and tell and there's this kid that doesn't believe me that my cat piano can make kitty cat noises.
02:28Jeffy, don't take this as show and tell. You'll get bullied if you take this. Take a different toy.
02:31No, I have to take this one and it's not making kitty cat noises.
02:35We will call a repairman to get it fixed. Baby, call a repairman.
02:38Me?
02:39Just call him.
02:40Fine.
02:41Jeffy, everything is going to be fine. Maybe there's just something stuck in the keys or something like that.
02:45Yeah, probably soda is stuck in the keys.
02:48That's the repairman right now. She's answering the door.
02:50Oh, good.
02:51Hello?
02:52Hey there, you call a repairman?
02:53Yes, I need your help.
02:55What do you need help with?
02:56My cat got wet and now it won't meow.
02:59Your cat got wet?
03:01Yeah.
03:02Wait, aren't you married?
03:03Yes, but my husband can't help me fix it. That's why I called you.
03:07Okay, yeah, yes, I can help. But yeah, so how do you want to do this?
03:12Do you want to get stuck in the dryer and I try to help you out?
03:15No, come upstairs. We can fix it on the couch.
03:17Okay, even better. God, thank you. How did I get so lucky?
03:21Come in here, in here.
03:22You're going to want to put some towels down because it's going to be like a Diet Coke with Mentos in it.
03:26I've got to stop jumping to conclusions.
03:28Why are you naked?
03:29Yeah, why are you naked?
03:30I thought you were talking about something else.
03:33I was talking about the cat piano.
03:35Well, I can see that now.
03:36Wait, why are you naked?
03:37Because it's hot in here.
03:39You know what, that's why. So turn on your AC. I had to take my clothes off.
03:42Now let's just get this over with. I'm not in the mood.
03:44Okay, well look, this is my son's cat piano and I spilled soda on it so it doesn't work.
03:47Oh, that's why you said your cat was wet. Okay, I get it now.
03:51Well, can you fix it?
03:52Well, what's it supposed to do?
03:54When you press the key, it's supposed to meow.
03:56Well, it's not doing that, so you fried it.
03:59What? I fried it?
04:00Yeah, you're going to have to get another one.
04:01I don't want another one! I want this one!
04:04Is that how we act here? Like five-year-olds?
04:06Is there any way you can fix this one?
04:08No, no, it's done. Get another one.
04:10Look, I'll pay you $100 if you can fix it.
04:13Okay, I have an idea. Hold on.
04:15What's taking them so long?
04:17Hey Marvin, press one of the keys!
04:19What?
04:20Press one of the keys!
04:21Okay.
04:22See, it's fixed. Tell your son it's fixed.
04:24Jeffy, your piano's fixed.
04:26Really? Let me see.
04:31It doesn't sound right.
04:33What do you mean it doesn't sound right?
04:34What do you mean it doesn't sound right?
04:35That little shit bit me.
04:37What happened?
04:38Well, I found a cat and I was squeezing him every time you pressed a key.
04:41That's not fixing it! He has to take it to school for show-and-tell.
04:43He can't squeeze a cat for show-and-tell.
04:45Okay, look, man. I got blue balls, a cat just bit me, and I can't fix your piano, okay?
04:48It's not going to happen. Just buy another one.
04:50What? Can I have that $100 back?
04:52No.
04:56I need my cat piano for show-and-tell tomorrow!
04:59We're going to fix it.
05:01Marvin, I think we need to buy a new one.
05:03Okay, you go to the store and buy a new one.
05:04And I'm going to just throw this one away.
05:06And when the new one comes, we'll just say it's his old one.
05:07Okay.
05:08All right, Jeffy, I'm going to go to the kitchen and fix this, so just stay right here and don't follow me.
05:11Okay.
05:12Okay, Marvin, I got the cat piano.
05:14Baby, what is this?
05:15It was the best one I could find.
05:16It's really small. He's going to be able to tell it's not the original.
05:19Maybe he won't notice.
05:20Hey, Jeffy, we fixed your cat piano.
05:23What the hell is this?
05:24It's your cat piano. Look, it meows.
05:28See?
05:29This is dumb! It's too small! I want the big one!
05:32Hey, Jeffy, sometimes it's not about size, it's how you use it. Right, baby?
05:35Yeah, some people say that, but I kind of like the big ones.
05:37Yeah, I like the big one too, so I want the big cat piano back!
05:40Well, Jeffy, there isn't a bigger one, right?
05:42Well, there's actually a bigger one at the store.
05:44Then why didn't you buy that one?
05:45Because it's really big.
05:47Well, then go get that one.
05:48Okay.
05:49April Fools, Jeffy. This was just a prank.
05:51But it's November.
05:52I know. Isn't that just crazy?
05:54All right, Marvin, how about this one?
05:56Baby, this is huge!
05:57I told you that!
05:58Dang, I think I like this one more.
06:01Marvin, they're all sold out.
06:03No, I will find it somewhere.
06:04All right, so just throw this away, and I'll be right back.
06:09I can't find that cat piano anywhere.
06:11I looked online, I looked in the store, I just can't find it.
06:13God, I'd give my soul for a cat piano.
06:16Blaine!
06:17The devil!
06:18What's up?
06:19God, I can't find it anywhere.
06:21I can't find it.
06:22I can't find it.
06:23I can't find it.
06:24I can't find it.
06:25I can't find it.
06:26I can't find it.
06:27I can't find it.
06:28I can't find it.
06:29What's up?
06:30God?
06:31God, what are you doing here?
06:32I was here first.
06:33Oh, whatever, Lucifer.
06:35Hey, don't call me that.
06:36It is Craig now.
06:37Craig?
06:38What a dumb name.
06:39Anyway, who are you going to pick?
06:40And remember, if you don't pick me, I'm going to burn you.
06:42What a nice guy, right?
06:44Don't listen to him.
06:45He's just salty because I kicked him out of heaven.
06:47He was double dipping in the cheese dip at my friend's quinceañera.
06:50Everybody was double dipping.
06:52Well, you're the only one I saw doing it.
06:54Okay, so who are you picking?
06:56I think I'm going with God.
06:57Oh, come on, he wins everything.
07:00Yeah, that's right.
07:01Get to stepping, ho.
07:02I'm out of here.
07:03All right, so what do you need?
07:04Okay, well, I broke my son's cat piano, and I was wondering if you could make a new one.
07:08Hmm, cat piano.
07:10Yeah, I can do that.
07:11Just describe it so I can make it.
07:12Okay, so it's like an orange cat, and it's like a piano.
07:15It makes cat noises.
07:16Wait, so is its body the piano?
07:18But no, it's like the cat's face, and the teeth are like the piano keys.
07:22Man, that's weird.
07:24You're freaking me out.
07:25Can you just try to make it?
07:26I think I can.
07:27Hold on.
07:29Is that it?
07:30That is it.
07:31It's perfect.
07:32Yep, it is.
07:33All right, I'm going to take off.
07:34I've got a quinceañera to go to.
07:36Excuse me.
07:38Oh, my God.
07:39It's perfect.
07:40It's perfect.
07:41All right, Jeffy, I fixed your cat piano.
07:44Oh, you fixed it, Daddy.
07:45How did you do that, Marvin?
07:47Let's just say I got a little help from God.
07:49Yes, God.
07:51All right, Jeffy, take it to your show and tell tomorrow.
07:53Oh, I sure will, Daddy.
07:54I'm going to show that boy that he's wrong.
08:00All right, craftsmen, today is show and tell.
08:03So I'm going to call you up one by one, and you're going to come up to the board and show the craftsmen what you brought.
08:08Cody, you're first.
08:09Me first?
08:10Hold on.
08:11Get in your suit, Ken.
08:14Okay, we're ready.
08:15Okay, guys, so for my show and tell, I brought these Coke bottles.
08:19That's lame.
08:20Loser.
08:21Guys, let him finish.
08:23Thank you, Penelope.
08:24Now, these look like normal Coke bottles, but if you turn them around, they have me and Ken's name on the back.
08:29Never mind, that's lame.
08:30Loser.
08:31Wow, the best you can do is a Coke bottle, dude?
08:34I'm homeless, and I'm going to do better than you.
08:36Yeah, loser.
08:38Well, Ken's a Power Ranger.
08:40He's the red one.
08:41You see that?
08:42That's cool, right?
08:43He was in all the shows.
08:44What if you just went to the store and bought a Power Rangers action figure, and you're trying to say it's Ken?
08:48No, no, this is really Ken.
08:49He's a real Power Ranger.
08:51Dude, I just found Ken at your desk.
08:53That's totally not Ken.
08:56Hey, dude, no throwing.
08:58All right, Cody, go back to your desk.
09:00Joseph, you're next.
09:01Yeah, Joseph, let's see what you bring.
09:05I'm about to knock this out of the park.
09:07This is how you do a real show and tell, Cody.
09:09All right, guys, this is Tommy.
09:11He's a dead squirrel.
09:13I found him on the side of the road.
09:15He got hit by a car.
09:16No, wait, a truck.
09:18A Toyota?
09:19No, no, no.
09:21Oh, yeah, it was a Ford.
09:22It was a Ford.
09:25Going 45 miles per hour.
09:28Oh, he was drunk.
09:29He was drunk, guys.
09:30Thank you, Joseph.
09:32I mean, you can pat him if you want.
09:34I mean, he might bite you.
09:35He has rabies.
09:36After a crash, you can pass him around and everyone can pat him.
09:39Go back to your desk.
09:40All right, Junior, you're next.
09:42Thank you, Clash.
09:43Ha, beat that, guys.
09:44Joseph, anybody can grab a dead animal out of the road.
09:47But can you tell the make and model and the speed and the sobriety of the driver through the taste of its blood?
09:52No.
09:53I didn't think so.
09:54Let me go grab my show and tell person.
09:56All right, guys, what if I told you that a whale, a pig, and a cow had a threesome and had a baby?
10:02Junior, is that my mom?
10:04Shut up, Cody, I'm presenting.
10:05I present to you the amazing talking whale-pig-cow.
10:08Hey, everybody.
10:10Mom?
10:11Oh, hey, Cody.
10:12What am I doing in your classroom?
10:14Ta-da!
10:15I heard that this magnificent creature can eat five times its body weight in food.
10:19It's true.
10:20Catch me at the Golden Corral Buffet on Tuesdays.
10:22I'm an animal.
10:23Thank you, Junior.
10:25Go back to your seat.
10:26All right, Penelope, you're next.
10:27Oh, my gosh, she's going to show us her tits.
10:29Mom, I can't believe you'd embarrass yourself and me like that.
10:32Oh, Cody, you know your mommy loves attention.
10:34Yes, I'm still winning.
10:36Yay, it's my turn.
10:37Oh, take your shirt off.
10:38Take it off.
10:39Shut up, Junior.
10:40Oh, I can't wait.
10:41All right, guys, for show and tell, I brought my baby blanket.
10:44I've had it ever since I was a baby.
10:46So you got it today?
10:47Shut up, Junior.
10:49Take your shirt off.
10:50I'm not doing that.
10:51This is what I brought for show and tell.
10:53Boo!
10:54Boo!
10:55I think hers is even worse than mine, right, guys?
10:57Come on, let's boo her.
10:58Boo!
10:59Boo!
11:00Boo!
11:01All right, Penelope, take your baby blanket and go away.
11:04All right, Maria, you're next.
11:06I bet you brought something lame.
11:08Oh, yeah, it's hammer time.
11:10Hey, guys, this is my attitude hammer.
11:12I use it to smash things in my bedroom
11:14while I listen to Slayer whenever I don't understand things.
11:17Like whenever my mom heats up my kid's cuisine
11:19and the brownie's molten hot but the chicken nuggets are ice cold.
11:22Thank you, buddy.
11:24Now go back to your desk.
11:26Uh, Patrick, you're next.
11:28Okay, I'm ready.
11:29Hey, everybody, for my show and tell,
11:31I drank both bottles of Cody's Coke.
11:33You what?
11:34And now I'm gonna do the biggest burp ever.
11:37Boo!
11:39Thank you, Patrick.
11:41Now go back to your desk.
11:42Okay.
11:43All right, Jeffy, you're next.
11:45Yes, it's finally my turn.
11:47Yeah, let's see this piano that makes cat noises,
11:49if it even exists.
11:51Okay, watch this.
11:53All right, guys, for show and tell,
11:55I brought my cat piano.
11:57It makes cat noises.
11:59And I even wrote a song.
12:01This is my show and tell project.
12:03This is my show and tell project.
12:05Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!
12:07Very cool, Jeffy.
12:09Now go back to your desk.
12:13All right, what do you think about that?
12:15A piano that makes cat noises?
12:17I don't understand it!
12:20What are you doing?
12:22Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
12:24What are you doing?
12:26Why would you break my cat piano?
12:29That thing is haunted.
12:30There's like a thousand cat souls inside it.
12:32That's how it makes the noise.
12:33I'm gonna beat you up!
12:35So Marvin, how do you think Jeffy's show and tell went?
12:38I'm sure it went fine.
12:39It went bad! Look at this, Daddy!
12:42You broke your cat piano?
12:44I didn't break it!
12:45Old Bob the Builderass decided to lodge his hammer in my cat piano.
12:49So I beat him up!
12:50Jeffy, you beat up a classmate?
12:52I sure did, because he broke my cat piano.
12:55So please fix it, Daddy!
12:57Jeffy, I don't think I can get you another one.
12:59I need a new cat piano!
13:03I'll call the repairman.
13:05Okay.
13:06Hello?
13:07Hey, I heard you needed something fixed.
13:09Yeah, my cat got smashed.
13:11Well, I got one for you.
13:12What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
13:15What?