anime,jdrama,cartoon
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00One, two, three, four!
00:04Yeah, yeah!
00:08Hero of the Hunt!
00:12What do you think of townhouses, Hero? I can put you into a lovely brownstone.
00:16Or maybe a condo, uptown.
00:18We can't afford that.
00:19Oh, perhaps you'd be more comfortable in subsidized housing then.
00:22Tell me, how well does your son play with gang members?
00:24I have one request. Good bathroom ventilation.
00:27Huh? A fart fan? That's your must?
00:30Those can be kind of pricey.
00:32All right, just something with at least two bedrooms, since there are four of us.
00:35Hmm. I could rent you a lovely bungalow owned by Japan's 23rd most popular movie star.
00:40Does it have a pool and a recording studio?
00:43Don't take Hero's checks. They'll bounce like a quarter off Michi's ass.
00:46I tone and do cardio six days a week. Sundays are for sushi.
00:49You know, it'd be funny if the real estate agent's last name was condo or house.
00:53Ray House! Sink my father's business!
00:55Never dreamed I'd get kicked out of a realtor's office. Thanks, guys.
00:58Next time, I'll give him my copy of Dr. Phil's If You're Gonna Fly, Fly Life Coach.
01:02That man really puts the Phil in philosophy.
01:05So you guys know another office we can go to, or what?
01:08Leave it to us. We're veterans of ten successful apartment hunts.
01:11And how many were brought on by evictions?
01:13Hey, Dad, wait up.
01:14What, Shin?
01:15What are we looking for again?
01:18How could you have asked the realtor all those dumb questions without knowing that we're looking for a new place to live?
01:23What? We're looking for a new house?
01:26Yes, to replace the one that you blew up.
01:28Aw, come, come, Hero. Let's not play the blame game.
01:31Shut up.
01:32Huh?
01:33Huh? What?
01:34That realtor looks perfect.
01:36I know. Look at the fake wood paneling, reinforced doors, and cardboard signs with only a few typos.
01:42Oh, guys, this looks like the perfect place to renew your apartment hunt.
01:45I'm gonna wet my pants. Really, I'm gonna wet my pants. I'm that excited.
01:49I guess it won't hurt to try.
01:51Shady real estate office, ho!
01:53I think it's time to go seal the deal.
01:55The deal's unsealed, you idiots. Get out of this office.
01:58All right, we're leaving.
02:00Josh really made me cry.
02:01Hey, let's go, Hero.
02:03Unbelievable.
02:04Unbelievable!
02:05Boy, that ray house sure ruined a lot of realtors' childhoods.
02:08You know, usually my jokes are the life of the party.
02:10We are so screwed.
02:12Hey, Dad.
02:13Hmm?
02:14Can we eat now?
02:16Let's go somewhere pricey and skip out on the bill.
02:18Yeah, who wants caviar?
02:20It's 10.30, and you guys want to eat lunch?
02:22Can't find a fully loaded apartment without a fully loaded belly.
02:32What wine goes with a martini, red or white?
02:35We're not paying. Why don't you just have one of each?
02:38Are you getting anything, Hero?
02:43Dad, come on, crack a smile.
02:47This is a corner apartment with lots of space.
02:49My friend enjoys good air flow in his bathroom.
02:51Can you move the ceiling fan in there?
02:53I'm more interested in getting a good price,
02:55because we don't have much cash to spend.
02:57I doubt I'll be able to go any cheaper on this unit than what it's already listed as.
03:01Oh.
03:02Dad got laid off.
03:04Then Mommy left in the middle of the night.
03:08I'm so hungry, Papa.
03:10I'm tired of ketchup packets and expired ramen.
03:14They're so poor they buy food stamps with postage stamps.
03:17It's just so tragic.
03:20I'm very sorry to hear that.
03:22It's tough being a war widow.
03:24Every night he gets drunk, and then the beatings begin.
03:27You come here, boy! I said get over here!
03:30I said 80 proof, not 60 proof!
03:32He's joking. I'm serious.
03:33Sorry, I don't do business with childbears.
03:35Wait a minute.
03:36You can't afford to live with it, useless!
03:38You know what's weird is I could totally go for some pancakes again.
03:42What?
03:48Ah.
03:50Dad, I'm tired. Come on, let's go home already.
03:53We can't go home because we don't have a home.
03:55Oh, of all the houses to be the victim of a freak explosion, why did it have to be mine?
03:59Eh, eh, eh.
04:00Now don't get too down on yourself.
04:02There's still plenty of places to live.
04:04Shelters, bus stops, abandoned motels.
04:06Or you guys can stay with us for a small fee.
04:08We have a sofa bed, a fondue pot, and a game station too.
04:10It's a never-ending party.
04:12That settles it.
04:13I'm taking off work for a week,
04:14and I won't rest until I find a home for my family,
04:16even if it destroys my family in the process.
04:19And I don't need any help from anybody,
04:21especially you two with your crappy plans and stinky jokes.
04:24How could you say that?
04:25Yoshimura not only quit his job to help you, he also offered to drive.
04:28Oh, yeah, that's right.
04:29Sorry.
04:30I'm just frustrated.
04:31I could try to get a loan so we can have a crack at that bungalow.
04:34And if that fails, Mitzi and the kids could always live with their parents.
04:37And maybe I could get a job on the railroad.
04:40Ah, what am I saying? We're fine.
04:43It'll be like when we first got married and made the best of that tiny apartment.
04:47It wasn't much, but it was home, the place we made love and accidentally made Shin.
04:56Good morning, lover.
04:58Thanks for last night.
05:00Yeah, I slept like a log.
05:02Yep, everything's so completely perfect when it's just me and you.
05:05I hope nothing ever changes.
05:07I'm pregnant.
05:09That's funny that you try to trick me like that.
05:13Yeah, I'm just kidding.
05:15She was lying.
05:16Still, the days were happy.
05:18Sweetie.
05:20Love bug.
05:22Pudding.
05:24Lambie pie.
05:26Honey bunny.
05:27Cutie whomps.
05:29Snuggle puffs.
05:30Cuddle waddles.
05:32Pumpkin poo.
05:34Mitzi's so spontaneous.
05:36I'd do anything to have those days back.
05:38When every day was a new marvelous adventure.
05:41Even Shin's birth and the paternity test that followed aren't so bad when I think about it.
05:45Then we bought the house and had our second little mistake.
05:49I thought all the memories blew up in the explosion with my baseball cards and magazines,
05:53but they're still in my head and in Mitzi's and maybe in Shin's too.
05:56I think I realize nothing's ever really perfect and you have to play the cards you're dealt.
06:00When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade and you gotta make the best of a bad situation.
06:06Never look back, Jack. Know when to hold them and when to fold them.
06:09Let's roll.
06:10Are you done yet?
06:12Let's go while we're young.
06:14Yeah, let's get your mom and find a home.
06:17Hero is reborn!
06:19Who wants to skip out on a bill?
06:21We do!
06:27There it is!
06:36It's exactly like the first apartment Mitzi and I shared.
06:40We'll start over at a place like where it all began.
06:43Mitzi will be so turned on by us living in an apartment just like our old one.
06:47I can't wait to see the look on her face.
06:49I guess it does look like our old place if you want to consider that a good thing.
06:57Maybe it's nice on the inside.
07:01Yo, what's more show?
07:07Moving on down.
07:13All right, let's get a move on.
07:15Okay.
07:16You know what's unbelievable?
07:18How much of our junk survived that explosion?
07:20Hey, where's our so-called help?
07:22Must have used the distraction of the truck to make a break for it.
07:25Lose something?
07:26I found them.
07:28Lose something?
07:29I found them rifely through my mailbox looking for free detergent samples and checks.
07:35Trying to get out of helping us move, is that it?
07:38We were just looking for some sort of thing one might use when moving.
07:41That's it!
07:42Oh, good. I'm glad to hear that.
07:44Then you won't mind taking this.
07:47Well, that was a good warm-up.
07:49Now let's start moving the heavy stuff.
07:51Good luck unpacking.
07:52I'll just leave everything boxed up until I need to use it.
07:55Hey, Mommy, I forgot to say goodbye to Whitey.
07:58Then why don't we go back to Yuka's house?
08:00You can say goodbye and I can get more boxes.
08:05Can't we leave her with Yuka instead?
08:08Don't kill anyone while we're gone.
08:10I'll try, sweetie.
08:11A home sweet temporary home.
08:15What's he talking about?
08:16This apartment's a dump.
08:18Yeah, it's smaller than a homeless person's.
08:20A decent person wouldn't be caught dead in here.
08:23Are you kidding? I wouldn't be caught dead in here.
08:25That can be arranged.
08:26I think this apartment is perfect just the way it is.
08:29And if it can keep you two away, that's just a bonus.
08:32I just wish they could do something about that horrible name.
08:36Maybe it's ironic.
08:38Ooh, like calling Mom pretty.
08:43Well, Whitey, I guess this is goodbye.
08:45Please don't make this any harder for me than it has to be.
08:50Dry those eyes before I change my mind.
08:53Sometimes he watches my soaps with me.
08:55Reminds me of when my husband left me for the mailman.
08:58Hey, be sure to leave the toilet seat up in case he gets thirsty at night.
09:02Yes, of course.
09:03So that's why I keep falling in every night.
09:05Whitey, I will think of you every hour of every second.
09:09I'll never let go, Whitey.
09:11I'll never let go.
09:14Whitey!
09:18You know, I really do hate to break up the team.
09:20So if you want, you can take them all.
09:22I think I'm going to have to pass.
09:31Now I see why people who work for a living are so cranky.
09:34I guess Hero's too cheap to hire movers.
09:36Get back to work.
09:37I was just joking around, buddy.
09:39Can't you arrange those boxes so they don't take up so much space?
09:42Pretend it's one of your stupid video games.
09:45How is this anything like playing a video game?
09:47Yeah.
09:48What are you saying about me now?
09:50He was just commenting on how hip and with it you are.
09:53Look, the sooner you move those boxes, the sooner you'll be out of here.
09:56If he wants us to maximize space, we should probably move the fridge against the wall.
10:00You're so brilliant.
10:03Well, thank you for all of your help.
10:06No big.
10:07You really didn't have to get us a lavish thank you gift.
10:09We would have done it out of the goodness of our hearts or for cash.
10:12A thank you gift?
10:13Uh-huh.
10:14Seriously?
10:15Uh-huh.
10:16No.
10:19Some people are so greedy.
10:21No more doing things out of the goodness of my heart.
10:23I'm sorry I didn't buy you a generic beer and an off-brand soda.
10:27You know, we can always go visit Whitey.
10:29Uh-huh.
10:30Oh, look.
10:31He's lucky we didn't take all the boxes back down.
10:33So long, jerks.
10:34So long, jerks.
10:38Finally, it's less crowded.
10:40Even so, it still feels cramped in here.
10:43Oh, honey, I know it's small, but the insurance money only covers repairs,
10:47so our choices were either this or a trailer park.
10:49It does remind me of our little newlywed love nest.
10:52Oh, boy.
10:53That place sure was a dump, wasn't it?
10:55Not that we seemed to mind the close quarters back then.
10:58We were easily distracted.
11:00When the cellophane windows blew away.
11:02We would snuggle up by the hot plate.
11:06And when the power'd go out.
11:07Some wine in a box.
11:10Oh, baby.
11:11Hero.
11:21Come on, Hima, things are about to get PG-13 in here.
11:24No, you guys don't need to leave the room.
11:27You mean we don't need to put on a video for the next ten minutes?
11:31Whatever are you talking about?
11:33Say, I could go for a nice cold shower.
11:35Excellent idea, and I'll get dinner started.
11:38Since we're still getting settled, I'm afraid it won't be anything special.
11:41Mom, it's never special.
11:45Nowhere to run. The poor kid never had a chance.
11:49Where are they? How could you be hiding?
11:51I think I've earned myself an ice-cold beer.
11:55Our friends put the fridge door against the wall.
11:57Do they have to do everything ass-backwards?
12:00Hey, have you seen my pot?
12:01Can't you see I'm doing something?
12:03Don't take that tone with me.
12:05What tone?
12:06Unless you want uncooked pasta, I suggest you help.
12:08A lot of good cooked pasta will do you without sauce or meat or vegetables or anything else that's trapped in here.
12:13We both need in the fridge, so there.
12:15You're a jerk.
12:16I'm rubber, you're glue.
12:18All you care about is getting to your stupid beer.
12:20All right, so you don't mind letting all those perishables go past their expiration dates.
12:24I think they'll last till I find my pot.
12:26Yeah, well, I thought your looks would last longer, but I was wrong.
12:31Oh, Mom. Oh, Dad.
12:36We swore we'd never fight in front of the children.
12:39Mm-hmm. We scarred our child forever.
12:41I can't find the remote control.
12:43Remote control? That's what all this crying has been about?
12:47Action bastards, start again. I can't reach the TV.
12:50So what? We've got a fridge to move.
12:52I need that pot.
12:53I don't move till the fridge does.
12:55When I find that pot, I'm gonna clobber you with it.
12:58Oh, no, Hero. We did it again.
13:00We're sorry, kids. Mommy and Daddy are just tired, that's all.
13:04I'm sorry, Mitzi. It's not you I'm mad at.
13:07I just really, really want a cold beer.
13:10Let's never fight again, honey.
13:12Now let's find that dang delusive pot of yours.
13:14And as soon as we do that, I'll help you turn the fridge around.
13:17And after that's when you're gonna find the remote control for me?
13:21Go find it yourself!
13:23Why is this freaking pot so hard to find?
13:26Well, we were in such a hurry to pack.
13:28I have no idea which box I put that pot in.
13:31The kind of pot you cook with?
13:34Oh, because if you want that, I put it in the fridge.
13:36That's nice.
13:37You put one where?
13:41Beer. Beer.
13:44I thought I'd never see you again.
13:48Both things were in the same place all along.
13:50This is the best thing that ever happened to our family.
13:53It's not.
13:55What's up?
13:56The pot's so cold, it's gonna take forever to boil. Thanks.
13:59You're welcome, if you feel like rewarding me with a chocobee.
14:02Sarcasm, Shin.
14:03Where'd you get the idea to put a pot in the fridge?
14:06Well, Hima's diaper was full, so I didn't know where else to put it.
14:10Don't tell me that!
14:11Achoo!
14:12Oh, thanks for reminding me, Hima. I almost forgot.
14:15Action, bastard! Starting! I need the remote!
14:17Mom's trying to keep her family from starving.
14:19But Dad's not doing anything.
14:21Love to, sport, but I'm already searching for a bottle opener.
14:24I'm gonna miss the theme song!
14:26You'll have to find some way to carry on.
14:28I'll die without my bastard!
14:31Look familiar?
14:32Hey, I was looking for that!
14:33Weird place for a remote, I wonder who put it there.
14:36Ooh, it's nice and chilly.
14:39Justice hole! Action, bastard!
14:44Did you pack the bottle opener?
14:46I thought you did!
14:47Well, if you didn't pack it, and I didn't pack it, then...
14:50Oh, Shin.
14:55Achoo!
14:59A family that sleeps together!
15:06Ah, the first meal in our apartment.
15:08And now the first...
15:11So you ready to start phase two of the night?
15:13Let's do it.
15:14Booyah!
15:17Okay! Dining room transform!
15:19Plate.
15:20Plate.
15:21Plate.
15:22Plate.
15:23Plate.
15:24Plate.
15:25Plate.
15:26Plate.
15:27Bowl.
15:28Bowl, plate, cups, cups!
15:30Good job! You're so strong!
15:32Cleaning takes a lot less time.
15:34Yeah, being cramped isn't all that bad.
15:36If you do the dishes, I'll lay out the beds.
15:38What are you doing?
15:39I'm not here!
15:40Has anybody seen where Shin went to?
15:42Hiro, I had to leave the mattresses out because there isn't a closet big enough to hold them.
15:46Hey, that's a good thing you don't have to risk your life when you make the beds.
15:50That's true.
15:51Opening that closet could kill a person.
15:57Dad, no!
15:58Mom's idea of cleaning was stuffing everything in there she could fit.
16:01That's your mom's personality.
16:03She's a stuffer. Just look at the way she eats.
16:07Like a graceful bird.
16:09Picking at her food slowly and selectively without even the slightest tendency for cramming her face.
16:15Yeah, good save, Dad.
16:17Tight squeeze, but it'll work.
16:19Look, Mom, I'm swimming in milk!
16:22Don't remind me.
16:24You see, this place isn't awful.
16:26Okay, Hima, let's get ready for bed.
16:30I guess since the beds are down, we might as well go to sleep, too.
16:33Yeah, the move did wear me out.
16:35You're going to sleep next to Mommy tonight, alright, sweetie?
16:39Where did she get to? I was alive first!
16:42Hima's still breastfeeding.
16:45Hima's still breastfeeding, so she has to sleep with me.
16:47You're sleeping next to Dad.
16:51Does that mean I have to suck on Dad's nipples?
16:53No, you do not.
16:59It's certainly been a long day.
17:01I'm going to turn the lights out now, okay?
17:03Dad, I can't sleep!
17:05I haven't adjusted to my new environment yet.
17:07Shin, it's late and I'm really tired.
17:09Hima can't sleep either. I think she's too excited.
17:12This is the start of our new life, dear.
17:14I like how you worded that. Makes me feel less pathetic.
17:19What do you want, Shin?
17:21Let's play a game now.
17:22What game?
17:23How about I Spy? That's pretty fun.
17:25Been a while since I played, but I'll try.
17:27Let's see. I spy...
17:30Something snot-like.
17:33Hey, hold on. We can't both be spies.
17:35Please don't hit me.
17:36You know, that joke won't be funny when I'm thrown into prison.
17:39I'm starting over.
17:40I spy something...
17:42Something...
17:43Green and flowing.
17:45Snot? From Hima's butt when she's sick?
17:48No. And that's disgusting.
17:50An alien melted in lava?
17:52It's something in this room, son.
17:54Green and flowing. What else?
17:56Made from fabric on clearance by someone who sucks at sewing.
17:59Curtains. Now try playing a game that doesn't piss mommy off.
18:03I know, Dad. You can tell me a bedtime story.
18:06Oh. Let's see.
18:09How about the story of the economic decline in Japan?
18:12And about the salesman who had his benefits taken away?
18:15I like the other one from your work way better.
18:18Hottie secretaries and saleswomen caught on tape.
18:21Secretly recorded in the fifth floor break room of the Futaba Corporation.
18:25Produced by Hiro...
18:27That one will have to wait.
18:29How about Goldilocks or that girl that sits on the tuffet?
18:32I'm sick of those dumb stories.
18:34Make up your own, like that Nerd of the Rings guy.
18:36A story about what, though?
18:38Whatever you want.
18:39So, anything?
18:41Mm-hmm.
18:42Huh. Okay, here's a story.
18:44Once upon a time, there lived a salesman named Hiro,
18:47and he was the bravest, brawniest salesman in all the land.
18:50Is something wrong?
18:52No, no. I asked for fantasy.
18:54Hmm. So one day, the heroic Hiro was trekking through a treacherous forest.
18:58What's a salesman doing in a forest?
19:00His jerk boss sent him on business.
19:02Where'd you dream that up?
19:03Just shut up and listen.
19:05Fine.
19:06Onward he marched, ignoring the dangers and the blisters from his ill-fitted dress shoes.
19:10Does ill-fitted mean they smell bad?
19:12No.
19:13Help!
19:14When suddenly, a bunny girl hopped into the clearing.
19:17Like a giant bunny with a girl head?
19:19Not exactly.
19:20Help! Big bad wolves are coming, and they want to do terrible things to me.
19:24Miss October, right?
19:25Uh-huh.
19:27There she is! Get her, boys!
19:31What do you want with her?
19:32Well, I was hoping to blow her house down.
19:35Get it.
19:36Hold this for me. I'll handle them.
19:41I claim this bunny in the name of my sales firm.
19:44Hey.
19:46Futaba, huh?
19:48I failed their entrance exam.
19:50Yeah, well, them's the breaks.
19:52Hey, how about dinner?
19:53Yeah, okay.
19:54Not so fast!
19:55What's wrong now?
19:56You can't just claim her.
19:58Girls are our property. You're offending our sensibilities.
20:01Plus, she's really hot, and we want to huff and puff her.
20:03So take this!
20:07You dare defile my business card?
20:09You've insulted my honor as a salesman!
20:11Screw you and Futaba!
20:13Merely bending a card is cause for an uproar, but you went and tore it.
20:16And now I shall do to you what you have done to the property of the Futaba Sales Corporation.
20:19Who's afraid of the big bad wolves?
20:21Not me!
20:24No one could doubt the salesman's courage and sex appeal.
20:27But it was still a three-on-one fight, and it was safe to say that those wolves all had rabies.
20:32Or at the very least, fleas.
20:35Shin?
20:36Keep going! I'm listening, I swear. The girl had fleas.
20:40It's a really good story, okay?
20:42No, no, Hima. It's time for you to go to bed, remember?
20:47She really is excited, huh?
20:49I told you she was.
20:50Come on, Dad. Finish the story.
20:52Oh. So with the evil wolves poised to attack, Hero the Hero drew his mighty fan sword.
20:58Let's get him!
21:03Ah!
21:16I've met poodles in heat with more bite than that.
21:18My brave Hero, are you hurt?
21:20Don't be ridiculous. I barely worked up a sweat out there.
21:23But the scent is intoxicating.
21:25I've been told that, yes.
21:26Oh, promise me, Hero.
21:28What is it, little bunny?
21:29Promise me you'll run off and have wild, sleepless nights with me.
21:32But, my bunny, I can't do that. I have a wife and kids who need me.
21:36Besides, my house exploded in a freak accident.
21:38Dad's weird. Will you save me?
21:40Hey, you're gonna miss the best part.
21:42Shh.
21:48That's so cute. She's singing.
21:50You think that means she's happy?
21:51Either that or she's got gas.
21:53She's never done this before. I think she really likes it here.
21:56Well, if she's happy, I'm happy, too.
21:59It's cramped, but we'll make the best of it and have fun.
22:14Yo! Time to go!
22:21Woke up late this morning. A storm was really rolling.
22:24Frogs and dogs were raining from the sky.
22:28Everything seems awkward to me. Nothing's just as it should be.
22:31If this keeps on, I'm sure I won't get by.
22:34But then I close my eyes and try to smile.
22:38I know things are bad and getting worse.
22:41But after all this, I can rest a while.
22:44And then I'll party, party.
22:47Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:48Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:50Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:51Shake your day away and you can
22:53Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:54Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:56Party, party. Join us, join us.
22:58Shake your blues away!
23:03Yo! Break a vacation, boy!
23:06This party's shaking and it ain't just shaking here.
23:09I see that smile, you're grinning, it's too near.
23:12Sing this song and you should really sing it clear.
23:15Just sing along with us.
23:20Party, party. Join us, join us.
23:22Party, party. Join us, join us.
23:23Party, party. Join us, join us.
23:25Shake your day away and you can
23:27Party, party!
23:28Oh, I'm bad for truth.
23:30Party!
23:31And I'll party it in.
23:33Party, party!