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00:00Welcome to Monday Night Raw, we are live from New York City.
00:09Vince McMahon, along with the Macho Man Randy Savage and Elvis.
00:15How you doing, man?
00:18Wow, I sure do like that coat, man.
00:23The World Wrestling Federation Champion,
00:28introducing first from Calgary, Alberta, Canada,
00:34weighing 234 pounds, the World Wrestling Federation Champion,
00:40Brett McBride!
00:42The Hitman, Brad Hatch!
00:43Ready for action!
00:44Wow, man.
00:46Weighing 287 pounds.
00:47Hey, who's this weird dude?
00:49Head Shrinker, Moncoon!
00:53And spot two, ready for single competition.
00:56I don't feel so bad, he's fat food.
00:57And ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, here he is, he's alive.
01:00How you doing, man?
01:01We found him, Elvis Presley is here on Monday Night Raw.
01:06Yeah.
01:07Thank you very much, Mr. McMahon.
01:09You've lost a little weight since we saw you, Elvis.
01:11Well, I've been abducted by the space aliens, Vince, and
01:13they don't exactly know the meaning of the word buffet.
01:15That could happen to anybody.
01:18Well, nonetheless, welcome to Monday Night Raw.
01:20Thank you very much for having me, man.
01:22And Bret Hart goes to the outside, ready to put his sunglasses on someone.
01:26Maybe you, Elvis.
01:27You've got yours, so you don't need them.
01:29There he is, the Hitman, Elvis.
01:31How do you like him?
01:32He's our champion.
01:34I like that hairdo, man.
01:34Looks like he's been swimming, got some seaweed stuck to his head.
01:38I'll deliver the message.
01:40Speaking of seaweed, can I get something to eat here?
01:42Get like a Slim Jim or something, macho.
01:44Ooh, need some excitement?
01:45Well, that's what we're all about here on Monday Night Raw.
01:50We've got lots of excitement.
01:52Fatu from the Headstreakers in tag team competition,
01:55ready to lock up with the World Wrestling Federation champion.
02:00The title is on the line.
02:01Did you see the look on the Hitman's face looking down here, Elvis?
02:05Wow, man.
02:06I'll tell you something.
02:07I wonder what Fatu's gonna think of Elvis.
02:10I hope he's not hungry.
02:14Yeah.
02:15Okay, wait a minute, Elvis, that's little Fatu there he's talking to?
02:23No, sir, that's Fatu in the square, short boy.
02:25Ready to lock up with the Hitman, Bret Hart.
02:27And sometimes I like to talk to little Elvis.
02:31I see.
02:32Very, very strange here, Elvis.
02:34I must say, having you with us on Monday Night Raw.
02:38Elvis, you're residing in, are you still residing in Las Vegas?
02:41No, actually, I'm living in a trailer park just outside El Paso.
02:45I see.
02:45Well, at one time, certainly you frequented Las Vegas, the site of WrestleMania IX.
02:50Viva Las Vegas, man, viva Las Vegas.
02:52Really?
02:53All right.
02:54I'll meet you there.
02:55And the Hitman, Bret Hart, is headed to Las Vegas,
02:57WrestleMania, to lock up with the 505-pound Yokozuna.
03:02And from the looks of things, Elvis, you're not too far from that 500-pound mark
03:05yourself.
03:06Wow, man, that's a really bad thing to say here.
03:08What's that deal on his nose, man?
03:10Just a little slight injury, I think, on the Hitman's nose.
03:13Look at this.
03:14Bret Hart slammed to the canvas.
03:17Not too, coming off the rope, and missing with the elbow.
03:20Wow, me and Priscilla used to do that all the time, Vince McMahon.
03:23You're saying right.
03:25Yeah, man.
03:25Is that why she left you?
03:28Well, I think it was the other way around, so to speak.
03:32That can happen to anybody, too.
03:34I'm glad that here on Monday Night Raw, we have cleared up all of the rumors as to
03:38whether or not Elvis Presley is really alive or not.
03:42Well, was there any doubt on your mind, Mr. McMahon?
03:46You ain't one of them people that thought they saw me down at the mall working at
03:48R and Julia's stand, will you?
03:50I think Afa, from the Head Shrinkers, was not that offended.
03:55Yeah, Jimmy Hoffa, they think they've seen him, too.
04:02And there you see the Hitman Bret Hart doing what he does best,
04:06the excellence of execution.
04:08If there's a wrestling hold known to man, the Hitman knows it.
04:13Conspicuous by his absence at ringside is the tag team partner of Fatu, Samu.
04:20And together, they are a tag team to record with here in the WWF.
04:23Let me tell you something about Afa.
04:25He's not a manager, he's a trainer of viciousness.
04:29Bret Hart off the rope, shoulder block, down goes the Big Man.
04:32Hart trying again, over him.
04:34Wait a minute, what was that?
04:35I think maybe he was hooked.
04:36Yes, he was, on the outside by Afa.
04:39Just as you brought out just moments ago, but wait a minute, one, two, yes, count.
04:44Almost a count of three.
04:45That was tricky.
04:47Yeah, how about that action, Elvis?
04:50Hey, man, can I get some banana pudding and a pork salad sandwich?
04:55Anything.
04:56Pork salad, pork salad, any?
04:58One of my big hits.
04:59We don't have room service here at the- How about some fried green tomatoes and
05:03head cheese, got any of that there?
05:05We probably can accommodate you there, but
05:06that'll get- Better call the colonel.
05:08Out on the sidewalk somewhere here in Manhattan.
05:11Arm bar by the Hitman Bret Hart as Afa looks on, and now the Hitman knows full
05:15well that not only does he have to have his attention centered on his opponent,
05:18Fatu, but also to the outside with the manager.
05:26And the Hitman puts on the brakes, and down goes Fatu.
05:30But look at that.
05:32Wow, unbelievable.
05:34He's going for the title.
05:36We have a new champion now.
05:38Whoa.
05:39That's as close as it gets right there.
05:42Did you see Fatu, what a tough individual Fatu is.
05:48Now with a head.
05:52Tremendous determination on the part of the Hitman Bret Hart.
05:57He is Mr. Determination.
05:59Off the rope, Hitman.
06:01Nice reversal, no.
06:02My goodness, what a clothesline.
06:06And another cover, hook to the leg, two and almost three again.
06:09Unbelievable title match.
06:11The Hitman could lose the championship here tonight on Monday Night Raw.
06:16This is weird, man.
06:18You better forget about Yokozuna right now because he needs to think about Raw.
06:23This is Raw.
06:27The Hitman Bret Hart hanging in there as he looks into the eyes of
06:31that individual.
06:32AFA, the manager of the Head Shrinkers, Samu and Fatu.
06:36AFA electing Fatu to have the honors here tonight.
06:40That's like his Colonel Parker then, is that right, Vince?
06:43By the way, Colonel Parker's had a few unsavory things to say about you, Elvis.
06:47I'm not too sure if you're aware of that.
06:49Really, what's he been saying about me, man?
06:50Some of the things aren't all that complimentary.
06:54He told me that you should get on Aker Pro.
06:56All right, that's it, man.
06:57I'm challenging the Colonel right here.
06:59Next week, Monday Night Raw in the ring.
07:02You're not gonna disappear on us again, are you, Elvis?
07:04No, man, I'm here.
07:05I'm here, man.
07:06Don't you worry about it.
07:07You get the Colonel up here, we'll be right there in the ring, man.
07:09I don't care.
07:10The world's a little safer now that he's here.
07:14We're getting out here live from New York.
07:17Monday Night Raw, there's likely to be a big line outside of the Manhattan Center.
07:22Everyone wanted to get a glimpse of Elvis.
07:25That's right, man.
07:26The Hitman Bret Hart would like to have a glimpse of victory here.
07:32My goodness, running right into the elbow.
07:35And two and almost a count of three.
07:38Wow, here it comes, man.
07:40Wait a minute.
07:41This is what I was afraid of right here.
07:44Bret Hart must be very, very leery now.
07:47The Hitman has to contend with Fatu, his opponent in the ring.
07:51There's Samoan on the outside as well as Alpha.
07:54The Hitman Bret Hart trying body press.
07:57Does not hit the leg, does not have the leverage.
07:59And look at the kick out.
08:01Wow, get back in the ring, man.
08:02Get back in the ring.
08:02Look at this.
08:05That's Samoan, he's not even scheduled to be in the match.
08:09What a body slam on the outside.
08:12Got him with a headbutt on the floor.
08:15That's two.
08:16They're teaming up on the Hitman Bret Hart.
08:19The Head Shrinkers.
08:20The match will resume, no, when we return.
08:23Look at that.
08:25We're back with our Monday Night Raw.
08:28Hey, he's getting nasty over there, man.
08:29Samoan and Fatu have done an unbelievable job,
08:32along with their manager Alpha, in distracting the official.
08:35And the Hitman Bret Hart has taken a severe beating-
08:38Wow, man.
08:39During this break, all the way through it.
08:44And now, back in the squared circle, finally one on one again.
08:49It's Fatu, who could become the World Wrestling Federation Champion here
08:53tonight on Monday Night Raw.
08:57That was three on two all the way through the break, as we said.
09:00And look at this, just hammering away now, Fatu.
09:02For the ride to Hitman.
09:04Wow. The Hitman is definitely, truly,
09:07absolutely going against all odds tonight on Monday Night Raw, live, uncut.
09:13Uncensored.
09:14And I'm hungry.
09:15Can we get something to eat over here?
09:17No, this guy ain't, never mind.
09:19And another, wait a minute, here's a cover right now.
09:24A sloppy one, and you're not gonna be able to get the Hitman that way.
09:27Well, I'll tell you what, he almost did.
09:28I got a different with you right there, Vince McMahon.
09:30The Hitman's in big, big trouble.
09:33The nose of the Hitman, busted open, bleeding a bit in the ring.
09:38That won't stop this man.
09:40I don't know that any one thing can stop Bret Hart,
09:43truly the World Wrestling Federation Champion.
09:46My goodness.
09:48Bret Hart definitely has a lot of heart.
09:51I'm telling you right now, he's all heart right now.
09:54And respect, a cover again, one, two, and no.
09:58I've got nothing but respect for Bret the Hitman Hart right now.
10:06It may be that Fatu was gnawing on their proboscis.
10:09They're the head shakers.
10:10That's it, look at them.
10:11There's the trainer of viciousness.
10:15This is bad.
10:17And thus far, I must say that the head shakers have not noticed that Elvis
10:21is sitting over here with us.
10:22Apparently, they don't care.
10:24Come on.
10:25That could be it right there, Vince McMahon.
10:27I got a real bad feeling about this right here, live on Monday Night Raw.
10:31The cover, now one, two, and no.
10:34There you go, right there, almost.
10:36And it could be that the Hitman's nose has been broken.
10:40Much like Brutus, the Barber Beefcake's nose was broken.
10:44My goodness, look at this.
10:46You're on Monday Night Raw.
10:48I'm getting real hungry now.
10:50I might wanna go take a little bite.
10:54Thank you, ma'am.
10:56Well, Elvis, we'll see if we can't get you something to eat here momentarily.
10:59I'm gonna go nibble on that nose myself.
11:00I don't get something here quick.
11:03Anything, man, a couple of sausages, anything.
11:06I see.
11:07No.
11:07Man.
11:08The ring has just been moved about 12 feet, Vince McMahon.
11:13What a matchup.
11:15Bret Hart against Fatu, and Fatu sensing victory.
11:20The cover, two, and yes, no.
11:23I ain't seen this much brutality since I made the motion picture Clambake.
11:28That was brutal.
11:31Back on his feet.
11:32Bret Hart, maybe not for long.
11:36And down, side suplex.
11:39WrestleMania IX, the main event, very much in jeopardy right now.
11:43Absolutely can almost feel that World Wrestling Federation title slipping from
11:47the hands of The Hitman from the top rope.
11:50That'll do it.
11:52Taking his time for the cover, Fatu, and no.
11:56He almost didn't pick out in time right there.
11:57He still can't get it.
11:59R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the Bret the Hitman Hart from the Macho Man, brother.
12:04Win or lose, you're doing one hell of a thing in there.
12:08You're fighting and you're going against all odds.
12:11That's the way I see it.
12:11From the top rope now, Fatu, look at this.
12:15Bret Hart, Bret Hart quickly, up on his feet.
12:18Fatu definitely having his problems.
12:21Right on his little Fatu.
12:24Bret Hart setting up Fatu from the top rope.
12:27Man.
12:27Suplex.
12:28Cover him, hook by two, yes, yeah, no, no, no, no.
12:35What a fight.
12:37What a maneuver almost out of desperation by Bret Hart.
12:42And wow, was that impressive.
12:46A cover, two and three, no.
12:48Not a chance right there.
12:50What a fight this is on Monday Night Raw.
12:53I can't believe it.
12:54This is what it's all about in the World Wrestling Federation,
12:57this kind of competition.
12:58And down across the knee.
13:00What Bret Hart.
13:01Trying to successfully defend the World Wrestling Federation title,
13:05hoping to go to WrestleMania with it.
13:07And Big Joe goes for the knock.
13:09The Hitman has conditioning on his side, let me tell you, besides a lot of heart.
13:15This man's putting up more of a fight than Ann-Margaret did.
13:18And look at this, Bret Hart going for the sharpshooter.
13:22Will he get it on the big man, Fatu?
13:25Get it.
13:25Yes, get it.
13:26No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
13:29From behind, and God, God.
13:31Wait a minute, that's not the right guy in the ring right there.
13:37This ain't a tag team.
13:38Don't do it, no, no.
13:40Hey, ref, it's the wrong guy.
13:42Take a look there, man, it's a little switchy thing they're doing there.
13:45Referee doesn't know it.
13:46And they switched again.
13:49Wow, man, it's weird.
13:51Strategy on their part of the manager of the Head Shrinkers.
13:54Alpha sends Sambo in there when Fatu was out and now vice versa.
13:59It's time to back in there, look at this.
14:01This may do it.
14:03Collision.
14:04Wow.
14:06And snap into the canvas.
14:09Wow, dropkick.
14:10Unbelievable moves in my voice.
14:15Going for the Night Raw.
14:16Now, here we go with the sharpshooter.
14:20Trying to get him over.
14:21Trying to get that big man over.
14:23Hold on, Matt.
14:23What?
14:26Can he do it?
14:28Yes.
14:29He's out there, man.
14:30You're out.
14:33Wow, man.
14:36That was something else.
14:37And still World Wrestling Federation Champion,
14:41Ref, it's the- Respect.
14:44R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
14:45Okay, you got it, Macho Man.
14:48Respect for the World Wrestling Federation Champion,
14:52the Hitman, Bret Hart, who now will go to WrestleMania
14:57to defend the title against 505-pound Yokozuna.
15:02And he- What a victory.
15:03Earned it all.
15:05Yes, he has.
15:07What a champion, the Hitman, Bret Hart.
15:12What a victory for the Hitman, Bret Hart.
15:15R-E-S-P-E-C-T for the Hitman.
15:18Elvis, Elvis, you're not supposed to eat on camera.
15:23Let's take you now to the WrestleMania report.
15:28As Elvis scuffs his face with a greasy hot dog.
15:34As Elvis scuffs his face with a greasy hot dog.
15:40As Elvis scuffs his face with a greasy hot dog.
15:59This WrestleMania report on Raw brought to you by ICO Pro.
16:04Integrated conditioning programs for athletes and
16:07fitness enthusiasts who want to push their bodies beyond their genetic potential.
16:12You've got to want it, ICO Pro.
16:15I cannot believe the nerve, I should say, of the million dollar man Ted DiBiase and
16:20his partner IRS, Money Incorporated, actually challenging
16:26the Mega Maniacs, Hulk Hogan and Brutus the Barber B-Pig.
16:31I am certain as I'm standing here that next weekend all across the World Wrestling
16:35Federation television network, we're gonna be hearing a response from the Mega Maniacs.
16:40And I, for one, can hardly wait for that.
16:43By the way, WrestleMania on April the 4th, a big Sunday in Las Vegas at Caesar's Palace.
16:49And yes, to questions I've been asked all across the country,
16:52there are still a limited number of seats available.
16:55Call toll free 1-800-634-6698 to reserve your place in World Wrestling Federation history.
17:04Here then are just some of the blockbuster matches that are slated for WrestleMania.
17:10One on one, a big match.
17:11Eight foot tall, Giant Gonzalez to meet The Undertaker.
17:16Undertaker, of course, is managed by Paul Bear.
17:19Here's another matchup.
17:20Last week, you recall, right here on Raw, both men on the opposite ends of a six
17:25span tag for the second time in less than a month, Tatanka,
17:30defeating Shawn Michaels, no titles at stake.
17:32However, they will be when these two men meet for
17:36the Intercontinental title at WrestleMania on April the 4th.
17:40Another match that I've got to mention,
17:42The Narcissist Lex Luger, one on one against Mr. Perfect.
17:48And don't forget the gigantic main event.
17:49We saw the champion earlier tonight, very impressive,
17:53Bret the Hitman Hart, World Wrestling Federation champ,
17:56to defend against 505 pound Japanese superstar, Yokozuna.
18:03Ladies and gentlemen, WrestleMania IX, right around the corner, Sunday,
18:07April the 4th, from Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada.
18:12All right, let's get back to Raw.
18:13Macho man, Randy Savage.
18:15Mach, I couldn't help but see that very colorful outfit that you're wearing tonight.
18:21Any possibility you had that painted by Joey Buttafuoco out on Long Island
18:25at the Auto Body Paint and Service Center?
18:28Ha ha, what about it?
18:29There's a compliment in there somewhere, but if Joey Buttafuoco,
18:33if Amy Fisher would have met me first, a real macho man.
18:37Sorry, Joey Buttafuoco, but none of that would ever have happened.
18:40I'm the macho man.
18:42Dig it, yeah.
18:44We'll be back when Coco Beware squares off against the evil clown, Doink.
18:50No, I like that clown, Vince.
18:52We'll be back with Elvis and company.
18:55Make me laugh.
18:56We are back, ladies and gentlemen.
19:09Elvis Presley here on Monday Night Raw.
19:12Elvis?
19:13How you doing, man?
19:13How's the popcorn?
19:15Pretty good, man.
19:15What's wrong?
19:16I was standing by right now all the way over in Hawaii.
19:19It's somewhere around 3 o'clock in the afternoon.
19:21The man who will oppose Doink, here is Crush.
19:25Hello, Vince.
19:26How you doing?
19:27Hey, hey.
19:27How you doing?
19:28Hey, baby.
19:28How about me?
19:29How's the weather out there?
19:30It's pretty miserable here, brother.
19:32Yeah?
19:32Got down to 75, 76, something like that.
19:35Not bad.
19:36How is it out there, anyways?
19:37It's a comfortable, about 23 degrees, little snow on the ground, mush,
19:40you know, something like that.
19:42Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, brother.
19:44I bet you are.
19:46How about a prediction for the one-on-one matchup?
19:49You squaring off against Doink, the evil clown at WrestleMania?
19:52What about it?
19:54Better than giving you a prediction, brother.
19:56Yeah.
19:56Let me show you the outcome.
19:58All right.
19:59All right, show us the outcome, if you would.
20:01I'm gonna crush his head.
20:03Wow, man.
20:04Just coconut, brother.
20:06Crush.
20:07I think that pretty much settles it.
20:09Good luck to you, Crush, squaring off against Doink out at WrestleMania.
20:14Gotta be an easier way to make a pina colada than that, isn't it?
20:17Well, where is Doink?
20:19I understand Doink is scheduled up next.
20:21As a matter of fact- I love my clown, ma'am.
20:24Yeah, ma'am, where is he?
20:26I love clowns, they make me laugh.
20:27This is a football, a broken brain, playing two, three, four.
20:34I wonder whether or not Doink is bringing this present to you, Elvis.
20:37A present for me, ma'am.
20:38I hope it's something to eat.
20:45I think you're doing just fine out here, Elvis, myself.
20:49But wow, man, look at him, yeah.
20:52I love that clown, go look.
20:56Doink headed to WrestleMania.
21:01This clown may not be around after WrestleMania 9.
21:08Wow, man, where's he going with that, man?
21:14That's a good question.
21:15I wonder just who he's going to give that present to.
21:20Doink, somebody's birthday or something?
21:23You would think a man like this would, as most clowns would, make children laugh.
21:30But this man likes to make children cry.
21:33That's the kind of clown this guy is.
21:35But right now, here comes the young man who will thrill youngsters.
21:40Here he comes, here he comes, the Birdman, Koko.
21:46Man, I love this.
21:48Get him, Birdman, you're the man, brother.
21:51Man, I used to watch- Yeah.
21:56The Birdman, Koko B-Wayne.
21:59Wow, look at that.
22:01I used to watch him on different strokes all the time, man.
22:04All right, Elvis, that's a different individual, I believe.
22:07Birdman just got hurt bad, Vince McMahon.
22:11Look at that.
22:11Big time, big time, hurt the leg.
22:15And Doink, the opposite of what he seems in so
22:17many ways you would think a man dressed up in a clown outfit can't wrestle.
22:22That's just not true here with Doink.
22:24Doink, a very, very accomplished wrestler.
22:26You'll see holes perhaps you've never seen before applied by Doink.
22:30I'm afraid of just what happened, Vince McMahon, right there.
22:33He got the jump on the Birdman, and I don't know, man.
22:37I think he's hurt.
22:38Is that Swiss cheese he's got in his pockets here, man?
22:40I beg your pardon?
22:41Is that Swiss cheese he's got in his pockets here, man?
22:43Elvis, is that all you think about is something to eat?
22:46Well- I mean, it's nice to have you back with us.
22:47And the tie, too, man, that's cheese.
22:49I knew I liked this guy, I knew.
22:54And Doink continuing to work on the leg of Koko B-Wayne.
23:00Doink headed to WrestleMania to lock up with the Hawaiian Rush,
23:04whom he spoke to earlier on.
23:06And I wonder if Doink saw Crush demolish that coconut.
23:11I'll tell you something right now, Crush is Crush.
23:14He's Mr. Crush right there.
23:16And he's the man from Kona, Hawaii, and I got my money on Crush.
23:19And I thought the Birdman would do a little bit better against the evil clown.
23:23But he got the jump on him, and we might have to wait for WrestleMania IX.
23:27But the Birdman still has a chance.
23:30It's not over until the, you'll pardon the expression,
23:34Elvis the Fat Lady sings.
23:35Or Elvis sings.
23:40And again, you see Doink here applying all kind of, here's submission,
23:43hold stuff fuller here, and that could very well do it.
23:46That's funny, I like that.
23:47Make me laugh.
23:49This guy makes you laugh, Elvis?
23:50Yeah, man, I like this guy.
23:51I want to get his autograph.
23:52Why don't you go up and have a word with him?
23:54I want to get his autograph, man, I gotta talk to him, I love this guy.
23:58What a great clown, man.
23:58I see that.
24:00Go ahead, Elvis.
24:01This is gonna be very interesting, Elvis meets Doink.
24:04Only in the World Wrestling Federation, only on Monday Night Raw.
24:09You know something, I think the Birdman's hurt right there.
24:12Look at this.
24:15Look at that hairdo on Elvis, if you like.
24:18I gotta meet you, man.
24:19I really love you, man.
24:21Like that clown thing you got going there, man.
24:24I love clowns, they make me laugh.
24:27Look at this.
24:28Hey, man, I gotta talk to you, man.
24:31I really like you, man.
24:33Make me laugh at circus.
24:35I met Priscilla at the side show, she was a sword swallower, man.
24:38Hey, let me ask you something.
24:39You got, what do you got there?
24:41Something to eat, man?
24:41A cheeseburger or something there?
24:43Maybe a little of this, a little of that.
24:45Well, let me have a little something there, man, come on.
24:47Are you hungry?
24:48I'm starving, man, come on.
24:49Well, I just made you have something to eat.
24:51Wow, man, you got something for me here?
24:53Let me see, man.
24:54Let me see, man.
24:55You got, he got something to eat for me, man.
24:57You got something to eat for me, man?
25:00You got something?
25:01Oh, wow, man.
25:02Look, a little teeny tiny banana cream pie.
25:04Look here, man.
25:05Hey, wait a minute.
25:06Wait a minute.
25:07Wait a minute.
25:07Elvis, I'm gonna tell you this.
25:10Oh, no.
25:15Hey, man, that's great.
25:18I love that.
25:20That's a funny clown, man.
25:22Only on Monday Night Raw.
25:28I think Elvis likes it.
25:32That's unbelievable.
25:35We'll be back with Money Incorporated,
25:38the tag team champions of the World Wrestling Federation.
25:41Stay with us.
25:43Promotional consideration paid for by the following.
25:47To be the World Wrestling Federation champion,
25:49you gotta want it every day.
25:51It takes an integrated approach to training,
25:53and that is what ICO Pro is all about.
26:00WWE figures give you the fury of the hitman.
26:02And the bite of the bulldog.
26:04And the firepower of Sergeant Slaughter.
26:06WWE figures eat souls separately, dig it?
26:09Chips.
26:12Gotta have beef.
26:13Gotta have spice.
26:14Need a little excitement?
26:16Snap into a Slim Jim.
26:18Oh, yeah.
26:21Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you
26:24the reigning World Wrestling Federation tag team champions.
26:30With us now, Money Incorporated.
26:33Money, money, money, money, money.
26:43Everybody's got a price.
26:48Everybody's gonna pay.
26:51There's the Million Dollar Man.
27:09Well, Mr. Dibiase, perhaps you have heard the comments of the Mega Maniacs.
27:16Before I get to Hulk Hogan and Beefcake McMahon,
27:21I have got to make mention of an article that I read in today's USA Today
27:27that really disturbed me about a very good friend of Erwin and ours,
27:31Mr. James Robinson, former chief executive of American Express.
27:36Here's a man that gave his all to this company.
27:41And as he steps down, how do they repay him?
27:44They want to give this man 700, a mere $730,000 a year in retirement money.
27:52Erwin.
27:53Wait a minute.
27:54Wait a minute.
27:54I'm sorry.
27:55You're upset over the fact they're gonna give your friend $730,000 a year?
28:01That's right.
28:01And if that's not a big enough insult, they want to give him $1.1 million in severance pay.
28:09What a slap in the face that is.
28:11We're talking a man that knows how to live the big life, the good life like Erwin and I.
28:16He knows what real money is all about.
28:19And then if you want to pour a little salt in the wound,
28:21they want to give him $3.2 million over a few years so he won't compete with them.
28:27About a $10 million package.
28:29So wait a minute now.
28:29You feel sorry for your friend who's getting all this money?
28:33All this money?
28:35McMahon, that's a raw deal.
28:37That's a raw deal.
28:38That's pocket change, McMahon.
28:40That's an insult.
28:41And as far as American Express, the next time Erwin and I leave home, it'll be without it.
28:47All right.
28:48What about the matter at hand?
28:49What about the Mega Maniacs?
28:52It's very simple, McMahon.
28:54It's all assets and liabilities.
28:56So the cat's out of the bag.
28:58The challenge has been issued.
29:01I thought I'd heard that music fade off into the sunset for the last time.
29:05But oh, no.
29:07Here he comes again.
29:09The immortal Hulk Hogan coming out of retirement to the aid of his good friend,
29:16Brutus the Barber of Beefcake.
29:18My heart bleeds for you.
29:19What a touchy story, Hogan.
29:22But just like Beefcake, Hogan, Beefcake was gone two years.
29:26You've been gone a year.
29:28You've been in Hollywood making movies and making commercials and being the big Hollywood star.
29:34I think you're a little soft.
29:35You want to limit our assets.
29:38You want to start cutting our assets.
29:41Well, you got off to a real good start, Hogan.
29:43You took Jimmy Hart from us.
29:46All you're doing is cutting our losses because all Jimmy Hart was,
29:51was an overpaid, way overpaid gopher.
29:54Go for this, Jimmy.
29:56Go for that, Jimmy.
29:58What about that dastardly deed we saw you do with that very attache case, Erwin?
30:04Well, first of all, McMahon, let's put it this way.
30:07All I did...
30:08Shut up!
30:13All I did was give Beefcake a little wake-up call.
30:18We are compassionate.
30:19A wake-up call?
30:21You're compassionate?
30:22We are compassionate, caring men.
30:25And I'll tell you what we care about.
30:27We care about ourselves.
30:29And Beefcake, if Mr. DiBiase didn't pull you back just a little bit,
30:34we would have put you out of wrestling once and for all.
30:38But as you can see, like I said, all we did was give you a little wake-up call.
30:44And you, Hulk Hogan, let me explain something to you.
30:48If we did this to Beefcake, what's going to stop us from you,
30:53yes, you, the immortal Hulk Hogan, being the next victim of...
31:00All right, well, briefcase?
31:02No, no, not the briefcase.
31:05The Beefcase.
31:06And as you can see right there, McMahon,
31:09Hulk Hogan has his ugly face written all over the Beefcase.
31:15All right, what about it?
31:17Are you going to put the titles on the line?
31:20Well, let's put it to a vote.
31:21What do you people think?
31:23You think we should put our titles up against Hogan and Beefcake?
31:29What, are we supposed to be afraid, Hogan?
31:33Are we supposed to be afraid of you?
31:34Not a chance.
31:36I think you're soft.
31:37And you, Beefcake, remember, you are the weak link in this team.
31:42Not only, not only will we put our titles on the line,
31:47we'll put our titles on the line
31:49at the biggest wrestling event in World Wrestling Federation history,
31:54WrestleMania IX, Las Vegas, Nevada.
32:00All right, the titles on the line at WrestleMania,
32:03you against the Mega Maniacs.
32:05What about the odds?
32:06I'll tell you something, McMahon.
32:08It's like they say in Las Vegas, Beefcake, Hogan, and Jimmy Hart,
32:14the odds are against you.
32:17Money Incorporated, Erwin R. Shyster, and the Million Dollar Man.
32:29Everybody's got a price.
32:34It's coming.
32:37It's coming to the palace, Caesar's Palace,
32:40on Sunday afternoon, April 4th,
32:42the World Wrestling Federation's greatest spectacle,
32:45WrestleMania, is coming to Las Vegas,
32:47the new family entertainment capital of the world.
32:50And you and your family can experience all the fun and excitement live and in person.
32:54Just call 1-800-634-6698 to charge tickets by phone.
32:59Call now and make plans to be part of the sports entertainment event of a lifetime.
33:05Next up, ladies and gentlemen, my goodness.
33:10That's what I call a woman, man.
33:11I beg your pardon, Alice.
33:14Mercy.
33:14Next up is the Narcissist, Lex Luger.
33:18Wow.
33:19There's a lot of beef on them balls, baby.
33:26The following contest is-
33:28Why do you get a load of this man?
33:31We are live from New York City.
33:35It's Monday Night Raw.
33:38Yeah, I'd like to see that New York salute to him over there.
33:40You see that?
33:42That one-finger New York salute.
33:44Elvis, you look a little different.
33:48Is that a bad thing?
33:49It's the age, babe.
33:50It's the age.
33:50Is that what it is?
33:52I like this guy.
33:53He's the one that makes his boobies dance.
33:54What's he do?
33:55Makes his boobies dance.
33:58Look at here.
34:00Boom.
34:00Here it comes.
34:02I watched him down the trailer in El Paso.
34:04Take a look here.
34:05Come on, man.
34:06Make that boobies dance.
34:07You watched him in El Paso?
34:09In the trailer park, man.
34:10I tell you.
34:11What was he doing there?
34:12No, he wasn't in the trailer park.
34:13I was in the trailer park, man.
34:15Oh, forget it, McMahon.
34:16That's where you've been hiding out is in El Paso in a trailer park.
34:20Well, nonetheless, we are very happy that you've joined us here on Monday Night Raw.
34:24I'd like her to join me, man.
34:26Get her to rest her underpants on the bed.
34:32The Narcissist, Lex Luger, ready to lock up with PJ Walker.
34:36By the way, at the conclusion of Monday Night Raw,
34:40you want to stay right with us here on USA.
34:43Coming up after Monday Night Raw will be the Matrix,
34:47the premiere of a brand new television show entitled Matrix.
34:53It's a new action series starring Nick Mancuso.
34:57Matrix.
34:58Oh, my goodness.
34:59Talk about Matrix.
35:00Look at-
35:01Wow, man.
35:02I can't believe it, man.
35:05My sideburns are coming off and everything, man.
35:07This is bad.
35:08This is real bad for the king, man.
35:10Hey.
35:15And the Narcissist, Lex Luger, strutting about the squared circle.
35:21The Narcissist, Lex Luger, will lock up with Mr. Perfect one-on-one at WrestleMania.
35:29What a matchup that's gonna be.
35:31Absolutely, and Mr. Perfect is in perfect condition, and he's ready for the Narcissist.
35:37The Narcissist, Lex Luger.
35:39Will he move P.J. Walker to the buckle with authority?
35:43And there's one man, I believe, standing by that's very, very proud
35:47of the Narcissist, Lex Luger, the man who introduced the Narcissist
35:51to the World Wrestling Federation.
35:53Hello, are you there, Bobby Heenan?
35:55Vince McMahon?
35:56Hello?
35:57Vince McMahon?
35:58Yes.
35:58Bobby the Brain Heenan here from Beverly Hills, California.
36:01I see.
36:02I'm sitting by my pool here right now having a going away party for me.
36:06A going away?
36:07Where are you going, Mr. Heenan?
36:08Well, last week we did All-American from San Diego.
36:11Ocrowin's got me going this Sunday to the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia.
36:16That could be the end of me.
36:17Who knows what's gonna happen to you in Philadelphia?
36:20I don't know if you know it or not, if you're watching tonight, Mr. Heenan,
36:22but we are joined by, believe it or not, we're joined by Elvis.
36:26And Elvis, you are very familiar with the city of brotherly love in Philadelphia, are you?
36:32Yeah, man, I got great cheese steaks.
36:34First of all, McMahon?
36:35Yes.
36:35That is not Elvis Presley sitting there.
36:38Who is it?
36:38Who is it?
36:39I can prove it.
36:39That is George Steinbrenner.
36:41This is his first day back on the job.
36:43And I can prove it because sitting here right with me right now is Priscilla Presley,
36:47and she's gonna speak to you.
36:48Talk to him, Priscilla.
36:50That is not my ex-cousin Elvis, but who needs him when Lex Luger's around?
36:56Now, did I prove it to you?
36:59Uh, that wasn't true.
37:00George, is that you?
37:02George who?
37:03No, that was Priscilla you just talked to.
37:05Oh, I'm sorry.
37:06That wasn't no Priscilla, man.
37:08And that's got to be George Steinbrenner sitting next to you.
37:10But who cares about any of that, McMahon?
37:12Look at that.
37:13Look at that specimen in there.
37:14Lex Luger, he's the one that's gonna show Mr. Perfect what perfection's all about.
37:19Hey, Mr. Heenan, can you make him make his boobies dance?
37:21I like when he does that.
37:24There we go.
37:24You're a strange man, George.
37:26Damn, I love when he does that.
37:27Make that boobies dance there, Lex.
37:28Do it.
37:29Priscilla, get those hors d'oeuvres out to the pool.
37:32Uh, well, uh, thank you very much for joining us, Bobby the Brain Heenan.
37:35And, uh, we look forward to seeing you in, uh, in Philadelphia.
37:39Um.
37:40Not me.
37:40Sunday afternoon at noon eastern, you know that?
37:4312 noon, I beg your pardon?
37:45That's what I just said.
37:4512 noon eastern on Sunday.
37:47Well, thank you.
37:47And perhaps you'll even see Elvis Presley down in Philadelphia.
37:50So thank you very much for joining us.
37:53That was it again.
37:54You're right about that, Elvis.
37:56Lex Luger just knocked this young man unconscious.
38:00Cold, cold.
38:01Here is the pinky pin.
38:03We've seen so many times before, and I must say a great deal of speculation building
38:08on the use of the forearm on the part of Lex Luger.
38:12Wow, man.
38:13He touched more than he could tisticle.
38:15Here is your winner.
38:16Perhaps justifiably.
38:17Yes.
38:21Lex Luger with an easy victory here on Monday Night Raw
38:25before Elvis and the whole wide world.
38:28Headed to WrestleMania Las Vegas, Nevada.
38:32And unfortunately for this young man,
38:35it appears as though his mouth is split open here by Mr. Luger.
38:39Isn't that nice of him to help him out of the ring like that?
38:41I think he's going to do more than that.
38:42Let's stay with this.
38:45Mr. Luger with Walker and his clutches.
38:49What a lesson in humanity.
38:51What we have right here, right here, is your atypical American male.
38:58A face like a beagle.
39:01A small, frail, ectomorph frame with puke white skin that makes me sick.
39:10Oh my goodness.
39:11Now what we look at is the envy of all mankind right here.
39:21But now, this is Lex Luger and scheduled win return.
39:24The tag team confirmation of the Steiner Brothers.
39:28Rob and Scott, stay with us.
39:34Welcome back to Monday Night Raw.
39:37And here they come.
39:41A standing ovation.
39:43From Detroit, Michigan, at a total combined weight of 510 pounds,
39:48Rick Scott, the Steiner Brothers.
39:53One of the premier tag teams in all of the World Wrestling Federation,
39:58taking nothing away from money incorporated.
40:03Not to mention, of course, the team you will see in action at WrestleMania.
40:08Brutus Beef Jank, Paul Kogan, managed by Jimmy Hart, the Mega Maniacs.
40:14Right about that, the Mega Maniacs.
40:16And I just told the Steiner Brothers that you messed up their name a little while ago.
40:21And they told me that they're a little hot of you,
40:22Vince McMahon, and they're gonna take it out on these guys.
40:25Getting ready for the Head Shrinkers.
40:27Yeah, yeah.
40:28I hope they'll take it out on me.
40:30That's Scott in there, winding up things out.
40:33Nice double leg takedown.
40:34Look at this.
40:35Into the rope.
40:36Almost broken.
40:38Like melting butter.
40:40Steiner Brothers on their way to WrestleMania to lock up with,
40:42as you brought out, the Head Shrinkers.
40:44What a matchup that will be.
40:47The Head Shrinkers in tag team action.
40:51Managed by Alpha against these two brothers, the Steiners.
40:56Former All-Americans.
40:57And they are really hot in the WWF.
41:01Shoulder block.
41:02Scottie over his opposition, coming right back at him.
41:04Oh my goodness, what a forearm.
41:07Let me tell you, these guys are super superior athletes in the tag team situation in the WWF.
41:13It's never been-
41:14Look at that.
41:15Belly to belly over the top.
41:19I gotta remember that one, man.
41:20That's a good one.
41:22Elvis, have you ever experienced anything like that?
41:25Yeah, but I had to pay for it, man.
41:27Is it?
41:29Plenty up front, right?
41:31And here it comes.
41:33No, I usually just leave it on the nightstand.
41:36All right, whatever you say, Elvis.
41:39Dog-faced gremlin.
41:41And Rick with a clothesline over the top to the outside.
41:44Looks like a field goal to me.
41:45I think we got three points from the Steiner brothers.
41:48Hey, I took a look at that crowd, man.
41:50He's got better chances in the ring.
41:53And Scottie helping out the opposition there a little bit.
41:57He's a gentleman.
41:58Yes, I suppose.
41:59And a great competitor.
42:01No question of that.
42:03Uh-oh.
42:05Pointing to the back of-
42:07Oh, wow.
42:08That's like the home run hitter.
42:11Pointing to the fence, much like Mr. Perfect did with Wade Boggs not long ago.
42:17Winnie Inc. are the tag team champions.
42:19But I think I can name about seven or eight teams that might take it away from him.
42:23Back body drop all the way up to the ceiling.
42:26Speaking of Wade Boggs, Elvis, you really aren't the George Steinbrenner, are you?
42:33No, man.
42:35All right.
42:36I swear I'm not.
42:37You are the real Elvis.
42:39I'll bet you anything I'm not George Steinbrenner.
42:41All right.
42:44All bets are on at WrestleMania when the Steiner brothers hook up
42:48with the tag team of the Head Shrinkers.
42:51Time and time I like to dress up like Bobby Bonilla, though.
42:57Oh, man.
43:05Airmail special delivery.
43:07Yeah, right on time from the Steiner brothers.
43:10They always deliver.
43:11Yes, they do.
43:12Scott and Rick Steiner.
43:15Again, setting up their competitors.
43:17Drop kick right in the chest area.
43:19As you brought out earlier on, Macho Man,
43:21the tag team competition here in the WWF, never better.
43:24Incredible, incredible.
43:28And you wonder whether or not the Mega Maniacs are gonna have just one shot at
43:32Money Incorporated, whether or not they're gonna stay together as a tag team, or just what?
43:38A lot of speculation here.
43:39Ooh, all we know is that Brutus to Barbara Beefcake and
43:44the Hulkster, both of them back and back managed by the mouth of the south, Jimmy Hart.
43:54WrestleMania 9, the greatest ever, I predict.
43:57Whoa, my.
43:58Get him, Rick Steiner, do it, yeah.
44:06You're right, Elvis is right.
44:10Or George Steinbrenner's right, or whoever's right.
44:13I didn't say a damn thing, man.
44:14You heard that voice again, Macho.
44:18Macho's hearing voices, man.
44:19It's the aliens, be careful of them.
44:21One, two, three.
44:22I'm hearing voices, too.
44:24That's how I did it with me the first time.
44:26I started to hear voices, and my dog talked to me.
44:28Next thing I know, it was beaming aboard a spaceship.
44:31That's raw.
44:32And who would have thunk it?
44:33Here you are on Monday Night Raw.
44:37Let's go back and take another look, Macho.
44:40Wow, man.
44:40Nobody does it better than the Steiners.
44:42The Frankensteiner, yeah.
44:45That's like Deja Vu all over again.
44:47The Steiner Brothers get up early.
44:51They get up way early, every Saturday morning at 10 o'clock.
44:54Because they don't want to miss WWF Mania.
44:58It's Saturday morning.
45:03You just can't seem to get out of bed.
45:07Wake up.
45:08Now, there's an exciting new reason to rise and shine, WWF Mania.
45:13The whole family will love our stunning superstars, candid interviews, and
45:18of course, tons of great wrestling action.
45:20WWF Mania, more jolting than a cup of coffee, and it's 100% caffeine-free.
45:27Elvis, we'd like to thank you very much for joining us here tonight.
45:31My pleasure, ma'am.
45:32And we invite you to come back next week because scheduled next week,
45:35we have a tag team matchup, Monday Incorporated,
45:38setting a square off against El Matador and Virgil.
45:41What a tag team matchup that- What about Mr. Perfect versus the model, yeah.
45:46What about it, Elvis?
45:47Yeah. Mr. Perfect squaring off against the model.
45:49That sounds like a good match to me, ma'am.
45:52Elvis, I've gotta say, you're a mess, Elvis.
45:55Thank you, ma'am, I'll do my best.
45:57But it's very, very nice of you to show up here on Monday Night Raw, and you're back.
46:02It was great to be a part of it, man.
46:03All right, join us next week, ladies and gentlemen, for
46:07the tag team matchup plus one-on-one, Perfect and Martel.
46:10That's B-Nuts, so long, everybody.