When TV Was Awesome is an hilarious reimagining of our television history - irreverent, funny, satirical and sharable. | dHNfVHgtX2g5VGluN1E
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00:00Good afternoon, I'm Jack Scanners and you're joining us just in time to see the final moment
00:14there of the Women's Championship match and it's Nicole Biatch from Australia who has
00:19defeated her opponent 21-11 in the final set and Nicole's coach Andy Whiplash-Williams
00:27couldn't be happier. He gives her a big hug and a squeeze and a shake and a push and a
00:32tummy rub and he just can't show enough love for his young charge leaving her boyfriend
00:37Rusty Griswold in the cold there. He just can't get a look in, poor Rusty. Now we're
00:42only minutes away from the men's match and our two finalists are Stephen King in the
00:46red and Ned Sheeran in the blue and today's referee is the experienced homeless Joe Beitzel
00:53who will now address the players before the big game. Homeless Joe will very shortly hand
01:13the match ball to Ned Sheeran who as reigning champ gets to serve first. So as the crowd
01:18hold their breath with eager anticipation and coach Williams continues to celebrate
01:23with young Nicole, I'm joined by my co-host and five times Open winner, Zach Dank. Welcome
01:29to you, Zach. Thanks, Jack. Good to be here. I'll tell you what, it looks like I've arrived
01:33just in time. There's some controversy courtside. That's right, Zach. This is amazing. It looks
01:38like Ned Sheeran has been disqualified for swallowing the match ball and now let's see
01:42if we can pick this up on replay. Homeless Joe throws him the ball and there it is straight
01:47in the cake hole. Let's see it again. Yeah, he's choked under the pressure of expectations,
01:53Zach, and that's instant disqualification right there. So Stephen King wins the coveted
01:58Pecari split water bottle by default as I head courtside. No worries, Jack. Yes, I'm
02:02sure he would have preferred to win it for ability, but a win's a win. And getting a
02:05congratulatory handshake from Bill Cosby there. That must be a thrill. And coach Williams
02:11is thrilled also. So time now for me to throw to Jack for his courtside wrap up. Jack, are
02:15you there? Jack? I'm sure Jack can hear us. Jack, can you hear us? Jack? God, don't touch
02:27him. No, no, we've lost him. Let me just say that the crowd is still a bit confused and
02:33a bit disappointed at the parents of Stephen King, however, chuffed as they fold up their
02:38indoor blanket. There's Rusty Griswold looking a bit glum after missing out on a kiss from
02:42girlfriend Nicole. There's Jack. Jack. Just your right. That's it, mate. Ah, we've run out of time.