From "The REAL College Survival Guide" by Kevin Lawson
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FunTranscript
00:00You know, when I signed up to be a resident advisor, I thought I was stepping into a role
00:05that would be a mix of mentorship, community building, and maybe a little bit of chaos.
00:11What I didn't expect was to become a glorified babysitter for a bunch of 18-year-olds who
00:16think they're invincible.
00:17I mean, I'm pretty sure I've seen more questionable life choices in a single semester
00:23than I did in my entire high school career.
00:26Let's start with the first week of the semester.
00:29I'm all excited, ready to welcome my residents with open arms and a well-rehearsed speech
00:34about community and support.
00:36I'm thinking, this is going to be great.
00:39I'm going to help these kids find themselves.
00:42But then I walk into the common room, and what do I find?
00:47A group of freshmen trying to microwave an entire bag of popcorn without taking it out
00:52of the plastic.
00:54I'm standing there watching them, and I can't help but think, this is the future
00:59of our society?
01:01And then there's the noise.
01:02Oh, the noise.
01:04You'd think I was living in a concert hall.
01:07I mean, I get it.
01:08It's college, and you want to have fun.
01:11But when your idea of fun is blasting music at 2 a.m. while I'm trying to have a heart-to-heart
01:17with my pillow, we have a problem.
01:20I once had to knock on a door at 3 a.m. because someone thought it would be a good idea to
01:25host a karaoke night.
01:27Spoiler alert, they couldn't sing.
01:29I'm pretty sure I lost a few brain cells that night, and I'm still waiting for them
01:34to come back.
01:35And let's not forget about the emergencies.
01:38I've had residents come to me with issues ranging from, I lost my phone, to I think
01:44my roommate is a vampire.
01:46Yes, a vampire.
01:48Apparently, the roommate was just really into goth fashion and had a penchant for staying
01:53up all night.
01:55But hey, who am I to judge?
01:57I mean, I once thought I could pull off a mohawk so we all have our phases.
02:02Then there's the classic I-can't-find-my-I.D. scenario.
02:06You'd think these kids were searching for the Holy Grail.
02:09I've seen them tear apart their entire rooms, throw clothes everywhere, and even check the
02:15fridge.
02:16Because, you know, maybe it was hiding next to the leftover pizza.
02:19And when they finally find it, it's always in the last place they look.
02:24I mean, of course it is.
02:26It's like they think the I.D. is playing hide-and-seek.
02:30And let's talk about the community events I'm supposed to organize.
02:34I had this brilliant idea to host a game night.
02:37I thought, what could go wrong?
02:39Well, let me tell you.
02:41When you mix competitive spirits with a group of college students and a game of Monopoly,
02:46you're basically setting the stage for World War III.
02:50I had to mediate a fight over who was stealing whose properties, and by the end of the night,
02:55I was just as exhausted as if I'd run a marathon.
02:58But amidst all the chaos, there are those moments that make it all worth it.
03:04Like when a resident comes to me, not because they need help finding their I.D., but because
03:09they just want to talk.
03:11Those moments remind me that, yes, I'm here to be a guide, a friend, and sometimes a therapist.
03:19So here I am, a resident advisor, navigating the wild world of college life.
03:25I've learned to embrace the chaos, laugh at the absurdity, and remind myself that one
03:31day, these kids will look back and realize that maybe, just maybe, they weren't as invincible
03:38as they thought.
03:39And who knows?
03:41Maybe one day, they'll be the ones telling stories about their time in the dorms, and
03:46I'll be the punchline.