Taskmaster NZ S05E07
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00:00Hello.
00:01And...
00:02Two!
00:03Come on!
00:04Woo-hoo!
00:05That's for the haters.
00:06Come here.
00:07Come here.
00:08Jiggle-biddle-chee!
00:09Oh!
00:10Oh!
00:11Oh!
00:12Oh!
00:13Oh!
00:14Oh!
00:15Oh!
00:16Oh!
00:17Oh!
00:18Oh!
00:19Oh!
00:20Oh!
00:21Oh!
00:22Oh!
00:23Oh!
00:24Oh!
00:25Oh!
00:26Oh!
00:27Oh!
00:28Oh!
00:29Oh!
00:30Oh!
00:31Oh!
00:32Oh!
00:33Oh!
00:34Oh!
00:35Oh!
00:36Kia ora kato ka kou!
00:37And welcome to Taskmaster.
00:39My name is Jeremy Wells, and I believe it was a young carpenter from Nazareth who once
00:44said do not judge others and God will not judge you.
00:49And to that I say, leave me alone Jesus!
00:52Then I say, leave me alone Jesus.
00:54I am the Taskmaster.
00:56CHEERING
01:00Tonight, these five clowns, jesters and downright desperados
01:04will perform a series of tasks
01:06hoping to impress me
01:08and get their hands on this.
01:10Ooooo
01:12And tonight, competing for this priceless trophy
01:15are Abby Howells
01:17CHEERING
01:19Ben Hurley
01:21Hayley Sproul
01:23CHEERING
01:25And Tom Sainsbury
01:27CHEERING
01:29And standing in for Tofinga Fepulia'i
01:31Ladies and gentlemen, Babar
01:33CHEERING
01:37And here on my left is my right-hand man
01:40Ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams
01:42CHEERING
01:46Are we ready for the prize task?
01:48Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in
01:51a delightful package from the sketchiest place.
01:56OK, Ben Hurley, you seem like the kind of person
01:59who's visited a few sketchy places in your time.
02:01What have you brought in?
02:03Well, Jeremy, I used to work for a sketchy place
02:07called TV Three.
02:12Oh, shots fired!
02:15I was 22 years of age
02:17and I stole the dot from the TV Three sign.
02:22Wow.
02:25I've had this in my possession for over 20 years.
02:28It's one of my proudest possessions
02:30but I'm willing to put it up tonight.
02:32Where do you keep it at home?
02:34Oh, in a box.
02:37OK, Hayley, what did you bring in?
02:39I thought of one of my favourite packages of all time
02:43and so I got a sketchy done of Jason Momoa's package.
02:46Oh!
02:49This is... I've actually scanned it
02:51cos the original is in my bedroom on Aaron's side.
02:55OK, so is that so when you lean across, you sort of...
02:58So when I turn to him and say, like, I love you,
03:01the eyeline is similar.
03:04Baba, you are in here for Tofinga.
03:07What have you brought in?
03:09Yeah, probably stuffed it up already.
03:11I've brought in a sketchy package from a good place.
03:14So, in Samoan culture,
03:16when you're dealing with money, we give envelopes with the name on it.
03:19So I've brought in an envelope with my name on it.
03:23But inside...
03:27An invitation to an investigation meeting.
03:30Yeah, from my old job when I got snapped drinking wine.
03:35Years ago, years ago. Last year.
03:40The best thing I think about this is that it's incident one,
03:43which says to me that there's more incidents than one.
03:47I like to leave things to the imagination.
03:51Tom!
03:54OK, so my local fish and chippery,
03:57it's a sketchy place because it's got a D rating.
04:00Oh!
04:02They do a mean spring roll and mean chips.
04:05There we go, there's the spring roll.
04:07Is that a spring roll?
04:10That's a D rated spring roll, I'll tell you now.
04:14And also, if you want to catch up on Brad and Jennifer's divorce,
04:18they've got the magazines for you.
04:22Abby, what did you bring in?
04:24Well, I also went to a sketchy place,
04:27aka an art studio,
04:29and I had something commissioned.
04:32This delightful package.
04:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:51Where's your hand?
04:53Yeah, I know. He's rounding second base, I tell you.
04:57What's happening in Paul's downstairs? What is that?
05:00Well, you know what's happening.
05:04You set for this.
05:06LAUGHTER
05:10Five points, Abby.
05:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:14Jeremy, we're back, baby!
05:18One point for Ben Hurley.
05:20Oh, come on!
05:22That's my least favourite part of the TV3 logo, that red dot.
05:26Also, Bubba's made no sense
05:28cos she got the thing around the wrong way as well,
05:31so two points for Bubba.
05:33Three points for Hayley and Jason Momoa's package.
05:36And four points for Tom and the Fish and Chips.
05:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
05:41OK, Paul, I am ready for my first proper task of the show.
05:45Bad luck comes in threes.
05:48Incredible feats come in tens.
05:56Knock, knock.
05:58Who's there? Tom.
06:00Tom who? Tom Sainsbury.
06:02Hey, Peter. Hello, BH.
06:04I've got a task for you.
06:06I have a task for you.
06:08Oh, that makes sense.
06:10Here's your task.
06:12Thank you, Paul.
06:14I have a task for you.
06:16It's the same thing, but...
06:18Your task, Tom. OK, great.
06:20Imagine your wheelie bin at the end of the week.
06:23Here's your task, Abby.
06:27I have a task for you.
06:29Do the most incredible thing ten times.
06:32Most incredible thing done ten times wins.
06:35You have 45 minutes.
06:37Your time starts...
06:39now.
06:43I'm ready for five incredible things ten times.
06:47Who are we seeing first?
06:49They're both certified tens.
06:51It's Ben and Abby.
06:53I can do a handspring.
06:55Well, not really. I can do, like, a cartwheel handspring.
06:58That's pretty incredible. Yeah.
07:01Well, it would be pretty incredible
07:03if I did, like, sick parkour stunts.
07:06OK, I'm going to attempt to do ten in a row
07:09with added little things in the middle.
07:14One.
07:19Two.
07:22One.
07:24Two.
07:26That went in.
07:29Four.
07:31Three.
07:33Four.
07:35Four.
07:37Wait, what's this?
07:39Oh, my God.
07:41It's a letter from the captain of the Titanic.
07:43That's an incredible find.
07:45What does it say?
07:47Oh, my God.
07:51Five.
07:53It would be wild if I found nine more incredible artefacts.
07:56Oh, poor...
07:59Wait, where did I put it?
08:02It's a kiwi. Yeah.
08:04Whoa!
08:06Oh, look at this.
08:08It's a little kiwi, a brand-new species.
08:10That's incredible.
08:12I'm not very good at golf.
08:14Six.
08:18Oh, so close.
08:20Why did I put this one in?
08:22This is the key to the vault
08:25in the Tower of London.
08:27This is the cutlass of the world's most famous pirate.
08:30It's Aladdin's lamp.
08:32This is the childhood artefact of Queen Victoria.
08:34It's the sands of father time.
08:36It's counting down from when we'll all die.
08:40Yes!
08:42Seven.
08:45Eight.
08:51Nine.
08:53Another discovery.
08:55Whoa, how many is that?
08:57It's...heaps.
09:01And ten.
09:03It's a skeleton of Jean-Pierre.
09:07Nobody knew where his body ended up.
09:09It's a message in a bottle.
09:11It's another message from the captain of the Titanic.
09:14It says, I like pizza pie.
09:17Incredible.
09:20Wow.
09:22Abby, I think it speaks to the different minds
09:25of our comedians here on Taskmaster
09:27that you started off doing ten incredible parkour moves
09:31and ended up finding ten artefacts.
09:34Identifying ten incredible artefacts.
09:38Because to the average person, that just would have been a bottle.
09:41But I looked at it and I said,
09:43I know this is from the captain of the Titanic.
09:46Yeah, so you found out that he actually sunk the Titanic on purpose.
09:49And...
09:50And he likes piss plates.
09:52Yeah.
09:53Ben Hurley was pretty incredible.
09:55I mean, for a 115kg, 48-year-old man...
10:01..you moved very well.
10:03A little bit of spice added to those numbers.
10:06But I kind of feel like you undid your good work with the flips
10:10with some really ordinary work in the other bit.
10:13Look, the ten incredible things were the handsprings.
10:16I was just adding a little bit of extra for experts.
10:19I was impressed.
10:20Especially for a 120kg, 59-year-old man.
10:24A burly unit like you, a big unit like you.
10:28No, I'm a 60-year-old, 400kg man.
10:33Alright, 20 incredible actions down, 30 more to go.
10:37We'll see you after these incredible ads.
10:43APPLAUSE
10:51No mai hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
10:54Before the break, we were watching our comedians
10:56try to perform one incredible task ten times in a row.
11:00So far, we've seen Ben do a bunch of flips,
11:02and Abby showed us a bunch of crap she'd chucked in the woods.
11:06LAUGHTER
11:07Who have we got next, Paul?
11:10He's the most far-right comedian on the show
11:14in terms of where he's sitting and his political beliefs.
11:17LAUGHTER
11:18It's Tom Sainsbury.
11:19Oh.
11:20What is incredible?
11:21When I say incredible, you think...
11:24No.
11:25Should I do that to you? Yeah.
11:27When I say incredible, you think...
11:29Time travel.
11:31LAUGHTER
11:32Whoa.
11:33OK, Paul, I'm off to time travel to ten different eras
11:36in my incredible time machine.
11:47Oh, my God.
11:49I just killed a T-Rex.
11:51And you brought back its feet. Yeah.
11:53Seems kind of inhumane.
11:55It does. I'm regretting it now. Put up a good fight.
11:59I guess that's how dinosaurs really went out.
12:02Hunted by time travellers.
12:04Oh, Paul.
12:05I just went and told Mary that she's pregnant.
12:08Wow.
12:09She took the news remarkably well.
12:11Oh, my God.
12:13I just went and fought in the Crusades.
12:15There you go. There's a memento.
12:17Oh, boy.
12:19I just went and made love to Jesse James.
12:21Congrats.
12:22Too many beans.
12:24Oh.
12:25I just went and arrested Jack the Ripper.
12:27You will not believe who it is.
12:29Who is it? I can't say. I'm sworn to secrecy.
12:31Oh, my gosh. That was amazing.
12:33I've just been partying at Woodstock.
12:35Groovy.
12:36Oh, that was amazing.
12:38I just went and hung out with Prince, Madonna and Cindy Lauper.
12:41Wow.
12:44I've just been to 2025.
12:46Good news?
12:48Do you have any kind of
12:50dictatory, totalitarian tendencies, Paul?
12:53Not that I know of, but...
12:55Oh. Oh, God.
12:57I've just been to the future.
12:59What's it like?
13:00There's lots of laughing.
13:02Like live-action role-play.
13:04Oh, is that what you're doing?
13:06Yeah.
13:08Tom, is that you?
13:09I've just come from the distant future,
13:11or the distant past,
13:12where only amoebas live.
13:17Oh.
13:18Yeah, just making sure I'm back in the present.
13:20I'll do whatever you want, any of your bidding.
13:23OK.
13:24Oh, overlord.
13:26Thank you, Tom.
13:27Thank you, Paul.
13:30So, we should probably discuss the Crusades.
13:34Yes.
13:35Controversial.
13:36Which side did you fight on,
13:38the Christian side or the Muslim side?
13:40Wow.
13:45Do you want to just distance yourself from him?
13:47We're just going to move over here.
13:49I was more their kind of...
13:51I was more of a pilferer.
13:54Any side, I'll take any of those.
13:58Paul, I am ready for another incredible thing.
14:01How about 20 more incredible things?
14:03Here's Hayley Antelfinger.
14:05Most incredible thing.
14:07Got a piano?
14:08Like a keyboard, yeah?
14:09Yep.
14:10You'll play it ten times?
14:11Ten times.
14:12I'm quite good at parallel parking.
14:14That's pretty incredible.
14:15OK, here's the first song.
14:23It's quite incredible,
14:24because it's a duet, two people.
14:26I'm playing it by myself.
14:27Just pretend this is like a busy inner city street,
14:30and I've been circling the block for hours.
14:32Oh, look, there's a park.
14:44One.
14:45What's another style you like?
14:47See if we can get ten styles, eh?
14:48Jazz.
14:52Oh, my God, the eulogy's starting.
14:54Oh, my God, my grandfather's going to be so upset.
14:57I'm a bit out, but for a funeral, I'd say that's good.
15:00What's another style you want?
15:01Blues?
15:07Oh, God, look, here's a park.
15:08Oh, my God, fantastic.
15:09Oh, that's great.
15:13Hamlet's ready.
15:17Sorry I'm late.
15:18It's not really acceptable, you're so late.
15:20No, no, let me just park.
15:21I'm here, I'm here, I'm sorry.
15:23It's not a park, but I've been here for three hours.
15:25It was an incredible park.
15:31I'm from Yugoslavia.
15:33Oh, my gosh.
15:34Thank you, sir, thank you so much.
15:36Welcome to New Zealand.
15:40You stupid boy, you stay there!
15:42Don't move, fool!
15:43Wait till you move to Parallel Park.
15:45Get in the car.
15:47Oh!
15:48OK, wow.
15:50Oh, here we go.
15:51Oh, yeah.
15:53Ma'am, I don't think you should be behind a wheel.
15:55That's ten soles, eh?
15:56I don't think that's ten.
16:00Is that one?
16:01Yeah, we'll make that one, Lee.
16:02Oh!
16:03Oh, God!
16:04I'm going to have to Parallel Park.
16:07Oh, my God, a baby's coming out!
16:09Oh!
16:10Mew!
16:11Mew!
16:12Mew!
16:13Mew!
16:14Mew!
16:15Mew!
16:17Incredible.
16:18This is a horror one.
16:20Oi!
16:21I'm coming to get you, Paul!
16:22Oh!
16:25And then I cut your head off.
16:26Mum, Dad, when this car stops, a bomb is going to go off.
16:31But I can't keep driving forever.
16:33This is it.
16:34What are you doing?
16:35Don't park.
16:36Goodbye, Paul.
16:42Oh!
16:43Look at it, Paul!
16:45One more.
16:46This was Mozart's final piece before he died.
16:49OK.
17:01You could have made it a little bit more difficult
17:03by perhaps putting the other cars a little closer together,
17:05and that was a giant Parallel Park.
17:07You can see it in this,
17:08but each time we made the gap smaller and smaller,
17:10but I'm glad that we actually focused on the character work.
17:14Not to be a snitch, but Hayley did nine parks.
17:21That's actually, um...
17:23..bullshit, Paul.
17:25Well, I mean, we showed them all and there were nine.
17:28Well, then count my characters.
17:30Well, again, nine.
17:34Baba, did you know Tuffinger could play the piano like that?
17:37Hell yeah.
17:38He was raised in the church.
17:40His whole body moved more than he has in this entire season of Taskmaster.
17:44It's just with his fingers there moving.
17:46Are you mocking my friend?
17:48No.
17:51He's really enjoyed making Paul move quite a lot so far.
17:54Good, it's about time you moved!
17:58And I was moved by the quality of his piano playing.
18:01Same, it was so good.
18:03Like, every song that he did, all ten of them...
18:11So, how do you want to score it?
18:13Normally, I would disqualify Hayley for not completing the task properly.
18:16I'll give you a point for that.
18:18Thank you, Jeremy.
18:19Two for Ben, because, no, I thought the flips were amazing,
18:22but I think you undid them with every move that you did in between it.
18:26Abbey, three points for you,
18:28because I learnt some interesting things
18:30about the captain of the Titanic with the piss play.
18:33Four points for Tuffinger, because impressive piano play from him.
18:37And five points for Tom Sainsbury, Time Travelling.
18:45So, should we look at the scoreboard?
18:47Currently out in first with nine points, it's Tom Sainsbury.
18:55OK, let's keep things moving. Paul, what have you got for me?
18:58Bravo, Charlie.
18:59Take off your uniform and pour yourself a kilo of whisky
19:02at the Foxtrot Golf Hotel in India.
19:07MUSIC
19:16Paul?
19:18I see a task.
19:21Paul's not here.
19:22Follow Paul's instructions.
19:24You may tell him to stop or ask him to start again.
19:28Hello, Paul.
19:30Hello, Paul. I'm ready for some instructions.
19:34Charlie.
19:35Oscar.
19:36Hey, Oscar. Do you know where Paul is?
19:39November.
19:40January, February, March.
19:42Sierra.
19:44Tango.
19:48OK, quick show of hands.
19:50Who knows the NATO alphabet?
19:54Of course. Of course.
19:57No-one else?
19:58I probably know most of it.
20:00They've had sex, Jeremy.
20:03I've had Sierra echo xylophone.
20:07And I've had a fun time with my dad in the garage.
20:11I mean... Oh, my God!
20:13I'm sorry. Sorry.
20:15Learning the codes.
20:20OK, who are we going to see tackle the task first, Paul?
20:23Once again, up first, we have Bravo Echo November
20:27and Alpha Bravo Bravo Yankee.
20:29Charlie.
20:30Yeah, C.
20:32Oscar.
20:33Uh-huh.
20:34November.
20:35Sierra.
20:36S.
20:37Tango.
20:38Const.
20:39Romeo.
20:40R.
20:41Uniform.
20:42Y.
20:44Charlie.
20:45OK, yep.
20:47Tango.
20:48Construct.
20:50Alpha.
20:51A.
20:52Papa.
20:53Alpha.
20:54Papa.
20:55P-A-P.
20:56Echo.
20:57It's going to be paper.
20:58Romeo.
20:59Yep, it's way ahead of you there.
21:00Papa.
21:01Lima.
21:02Alpha.
21:03Plane. Paper plane.
21:04November.
21:05Echo.
21:06Uh-huh.
21:07Alpha.
21:08November.
21:09Uh-huh.
21:10Delta.
21:11D.
21:12Tango.
21:13India.
21:14Bravo.
21:15Yankee.
21:16Sierra.
21:17Alpha.
21:18Tango.
21:19India.
21:20Bravo.
21:21Foxtrot.
21:22Alpha.
21:23Sierra.
21:24Tango.
21:25Fastest wins.
21:26Echo.
21:27Fastest. Oh, my God.
21:28Sierra.
21:29You can stop.
21:31Not very good at planes.
21:45Complete.
21:46I've stopped the clock.
21:47Thank you, Ben.
21:48Do you think anyone will beat that?
21:50Wouldn't have thought so.
21:51You'll see it, but actually, I figured it out before you even finished.
21:56That is the most bored I've ever seen a contestant on the show, Ben.
22:01What they didn't show was Paul had to restart three times.
22:04So I was a bit bored by the end.
22:06It was impressive, though.
22:07No pen straight off the top of the dome.
22:10Nah, must have not been hung over that day.
22:13Abby, you didn't lose focus for a second.
22:15You were right on the task there by the looks of it.
22:17Yeah, it's not often you find yourself in a situation like that.
22:20It's not often.
22:21You didn't lose focus for a second.
22:22You were right on the task there by the looks of it.
22:24Yeah, it's not often you feel, oh, I'm actually doing well here.
22:28And a dangerous train of thought.
22:31OK, but how long did it take Abby and Ben to put the plane in the bin?
22:35Ben, 10 minutes and 22 seconds.
22:38Abby, 6 minutes 57.
22:41Speed demons.
22:42Ben, can I just say, when the light hit your face,
22:45absolute delightful skin, what's your skincare routine?
22:48It's good, eh?
22:49Yeah, what is your routine?
22:50For an 80-year-old man.
22:54Water.
22:56OK, I can't wait to watch more comedians screw up some paper planes
23:00and throw them in a bin.
23:02Don't turn the TV off now or you'll be throwing your life in the bin.
23:05More Taskmaster after this.
23:19Nau mai ano, welcome back to Taskmaster.
23:22Before the break, our comedians were told to blindly follow Paul's instructions,
23:26something nobody should ever do in real life.
23:29Who's next then, Paul?
23:31Ben and Abby set some very fast times.
23:33Will these three copy that?
23:35It's Tom, Tofinga and Hayley.
23:37Over and out.
23:38Construct a paper plane and take it to the balcony.
23:41Sierra.
23:43Scrunch it up and throw it in the bin.
23:45Foxtrot.
23:46Alpha.
23:47Far.
23:49Sierra.
23:50Fastest wins.
23:51Tango.
23:52Tango.
23:53Eco.
23:54Eco.
23:56Sierra.
23:57Tango.
23:58Tango.
23:59Whiskey.
24:02Whiskey.
24:04Lima.
24:06Lima.
24:09Oscar.
24:12Sierra.
24:14Thank God I stayed.
24:17Eco.
24:19Sierra.
24:20Fastest loses.
24:23Time to go.
24:25Slowly.
24:26So the fastest loses?
24:27Yeah.
24:28What am I missing?
24:30Hi.
24:34Oh no.
24:36I've stopped the clock.
24:37Sorry, just wait here for a bit.
24:39So you're taking your time?
24:40Yeah.
24:41That makes sense.
24:42Nice day, innit?
24:43Really nice.
24:44Perfect landing.
24:45Thank you, but I should have gone and had a beer or something.
24:47Like, I was too fast.
24:49Time is still going?
24:50Yeah.
24:51Alright.
24:52I might as well try and make it an interesting way of getting it in the bin.
24:58You just kick it into the gutter?
25:00Might have to make a new plane.
25:01Okay.
25:02The vegetarian option's unbelievable.
25:04That's chicken.
25:05That's a chicken?
25:06Yeah.
25:07Oh, food, man.
25:08I thought it was a cucumber.
25:09So when do you think you'll put the...
25:11Not till later, bro.
25:13Oh, you want to do it later?
25:14I'm going to have to win this one.
25:23Okay, Paul.
25:24It is now time.
25:28All I've got to do is just put it in.
25:31Think it's long enough?
25:38Stopped the clock.
25:39I reckon I've won this one.
25:42If I remember these on this episode, will you remember the bin?
25:46I'll remember the bin.
25:47We'll just pause here for now, then.
25:49I'll keep the clock going.
25:50Over and out.
25:51Over and out.
25:57Abby and Ben, how do you feel now?
25:59A little bit silly, Jeremy.
26:02I still think Tom was faster.
26:05I'm arguably the biggest idiot of them all.
26:09You actually are.
26:10I figured it out, and then I did it anyway.
26:13Yeah.
26:14So Tom was 24 seconds faster than Ben.
26:24It was so strange, Barbara, to see Tofinga do really,
26:28really well at a task that you had to do really slowly.
26:33So surprising.
26:36So surprising.
26:38He's currently winning it, unless Hayley can complete the task.
26:42Do you have a bin?
26:43I do have the bin.
26:44Yeah, I just need to finish my task now.
26:46I'll bring you the bin.
26:51I know this is a huge pain in the balls, but...
26:59There you go.
27:02I have stopped the clock.
27:04The time to be slower than was Tofinga's time of 69 days,
27:092 hours, 41 minutes and 10 seconds.
27:12Hayley has just come in 101 days, 7 hours and 16 minutes.
27:17Wow, OK.
27:19Yes.
27:20That will mean one point for Abby, two points for Tom,
27:23three points for Ben, four points for Tofinga
27:26and five points for Hayley.
27:30OK, I'm ready for another task, P.W.
27:33Time for another task.
27:35You should enjoy this one for the length it takes you
27:37to sing Happy Birthday twice.
27:47Hi.
27:48Hello, Tom.
27:49Hello, Tofinga.
27:50Paul.
27:51Hello, Abby.
27:52Hello, Paul.
27:53A pleasure to see you again.
27:54Likewise.
27:55Where's the envelope?
27:56The tasks never come in envelopes.
27:59What's happening?
28:00What am I meant to do?
28:01Oh, just the task.
28:03Oh, I know where it is.
28:06Ooh, mama mia.
28:10Got a good feeling about this one, bro.
28:12OK, here we go.
28:14Make soap.
28:16Best soap wins.
28:18You've 29 seconds to order your ingredients.
28:21And 20 minutes to make the soap.
28:24Your time starts now.
28:26OK, so I need a fat.
28:28What kind of fat?
28:29Vegetable fat or animal fat.
28:31I would like coconut oil, please.
28:33Lemon.
28:34Some soap from the supermarket.
28:36What, a bar of soap?
28:37Bar of soap.
28:38Um, soap.
28:39A bar of soap.
28:40Like a sweet essence of some description.
28:42It can just be specific.
28:43Peach.
28:44Some salt.
28:45Shea butter.
28:46Peppermint.
28:47Rexona and ice cream.
28:49Glitter.
28:50$20 in a note.
28:51Give me some chocolate and some bananas.
28:53Oats.
28:54Saffron.
28:55Rain flakes.
28:56Your time starts now.
28:59Make soap.
29:02OK.
29:04Make soap.
29:06Make soap.
29:07So what's soap made out of?
29:08Fat.
29:09Soap's made out of fat.
29:10You've got 15 seconds.
29:12To order the ingredients?
29:13Yes.
29:14Oh, from you?
29:15Yes.
29:1610 seconds.
29:17I need fat and I need...
29:18What fat?
29:20Cow fat and...
29:21Five seconds.
29:22And some food colouring, some pink food colouring.
29:26I think that's all I need.
29:28I think I just churn it or something.
29:30Or is that butter?
29:31Oh, my God.
29:32I don't know.
29:37I want to make it very clear that if anyone makes soap with soap,
29:41there's no points.
29:42Oh, interesting.
29:43No points.
29:44So a few people did order soap.
29:45I saw that.
29:46I think keep an open mind, Jeremy.
29:49Hey, let's let the taskmaster do his job, shall we?
29:53OK, Paul.
29:54Who's soap making are we going to see first?
29:56These three were named after the final stage
29:59of the hand-washing process.
30:01It's Abbey Towels, Hayley Towel and Taufinga Fepuleai.
30:07Oh, my ingredients.
30:09Wonderful.
30:10I knew I should have gone to my science classes.
30:13Any of the classes really.
30:15I should have gone to school full stop.
30:18I put in too many oats.
30:20You can never have too many oats.
30:22Totes.
30:23Maybe that's the name of the bar.
30:25Totes Oatsoap.
30:26I've got saffron.
30:27For elegance and that touch of luxury.
30:30You usually put about a teaspoon in there.
30:33And what that helps is it actually
30:35refrigerates the inter-protocols.
30:37Also, there's scientific terms you're probably not familiar with.
30:40Some peppermint essential oils.
30:43I feel like no-one actually needs to know
30:45that I've grated soap into the soap.
30:47The majority of it is shea butter.
30:49So you want us to get that out?
30:50Yes, please.
30:51OK.
30:54That's some clean money, I think.
31:00I sort of have just made oats.
31:04You've just got to let it sit.
31:05Just a couple of minutes.
31:07I think that's quite good.
31:08Get it in the freezer.
31:15I guarantee you, every bottle of soap
31:18that you buy from me
31:20has a $20 bill in it.
31:22What is the smell of your soap?
31:24What does it smell like you?
31:26Like a 13-year-old boy.
31:28How do you know what a 13-year-old boy smells like?
31:31Probably sick now, eh?
31:33Oh, gosh. OK.
31:36Oh, my gosh.
31:38It's beautiful.
31:44Thank you, Toffinger.
31:45Thank you, Pop.
31:46I love every moment.
31:47Bye, soap.
31:52Bye.
32:10Baba, can you please explain to me
32:12what Toffinger meant when he said,
32:14and I quote,
32:15it lefrigitises into protocols?
32:19Just like when your phoreticus is mokariki,
32:23it falls apart,
32:24so what he did was put it together.
32:26Makes sense.
32:28Shall we talk about Hayley's soap?
32:30Recycled soap with a climate lens.
32:33But you'll feel your hands are softer than...
32:35Feel his hands.
32:36They're softer than ever before,
32:37the oats and the shea butter.
32:39Oh, like you haven't done this before.
32:41Come on.
32:43They are very soft.
32:44Very soft, right?
32:45Also very sweaty.
32:50It's been quite the show for us.
32:52It's been quite the show.
32:54Abby, you had money in yours.
32:56You cannot think of a bad thing to say about my soap.
33:00I like the liquid soap.
33:01Yeah.
33:02OK, we're in agreement for once.
33:03Yeah, you didn't try and turn it into a bar.
33:05And there was no blood in it.
33:06I didn't mention murder or dying in childbirth one time.
33:09No.
33:10I was so good.
33:11The only thing that was massacred was bacteria.
33:14Yeah, exactly, Ben.
33:16OK, more soap when we come back after these ads,
33:19at least one of which will probably be about soap.
33:23We'll see you soon.
33:24APPLAUSE
33:25MUSIC
33:32APPLAUSE
33:33Hoki Maia, welcome back to Taskmaster.
33:36What's happening, Paul?
33:37Our contestants are making soap
33:39using unique and inventive ingredients.
33:42Our contestants are making soap
33:44using unique and inventive ingredients, like soap.
33:49Wait, Ben, what's your skincare routine?
33:53Actually, here's a lot of pink fat.
33:56I am very much looking forward to just seeing your pink fat.
34:00Oh, buy me a drink first.
34:04What is this?
34:06You always had so many bits of, like, food in it.
34:09Might as well put ketchup in there.
34:11Mustard, old mustard hands.
34:13All right, pink fat.
34:15I'm ready for more soap, Paul.
34:17Who have we got next?
34:18They're the two contestants who requested B-Fat,
34:20and one of them requested almost nothing else.
34:24It's Tom and Ben.
34:26Oh!
34:27Hi, Tom.
34:28Here we go, perfect.
34:29This is us.
34:30This is all I ordered, isn't it?
34:32Yes.
34:33Yep.
34:34I couldn't find peach essence, so I got peach vape juice.
34:37Oh, it smells so good.
34:38I think you just, like, get this to a certain temperature,
34:41and it, like, reduces for ages, then you put some colour in.
34:44Here we go.
34:45This smells so bad, but anyway, there we go.
34:48It sounds and smells like a fish and chip shop in here.
34:51Look at that.
34:52This is genius.
34:53Dying for a vape, though.
34:55Unscented, hypoallergenic pink soap.
34:58Now I'm just going to put this in the freezer
35:00and hope for the best.
35:01You've got six and a half minutes.
35:03Go, set, be soap!
35:05Oh!
35:08It's not long till the Warriors start playing again.
35:11You know what?
35:12Some fat's dropped onto the bottom of the freezer.
35:15Guess what it smells like.
35:17Peach?
35:18You got it!
35:19It does smell like peach.
35:21What?!
35:22I've made soap.
35:26OK, nothing's happened.
35:28I'm being honest with you, Paul, I don't think this is soap.
35:31What is it?
35:32Cold pink fat.
35:36OK, thank you, Ben.
35:37Thanks.
35:59I've got to say, Ben, I think that Tote's Oats soap
36:02might sell a little bit more than cold pink fat.
36:06But how popular were you on the way home with dogs?
36:10Tom, you actually accidentally made soap.
36:14And it was kind of a heart shape
36:16to celebrate, obviously, what's going on here.
36:20So, who used soap in their soaps?
36:23Two people.
36:24Tofinga, obviously.
36:26And Hayley did great.
36:28A little bit of soap.
36:29Tiny, tiny.
36:30But unfortunately, no points for either of you guys.
36:32Jeremy!
36:34Three points for that horrific stuff.
36:36That's crazy!
36:37That is insanity!
36:41Four points for Abby with the liquid soap with the 20 bucks in it.
36:44And five points for Tom's accidental soap that he made.
36:48No, I'm not having it.
36:52OK, this is unconventional, Paul.
36:54But I'd like to have a sneaky fourth proper task in here, if we can.
37:00Wow, you're a rebel.
37:02That's what I love about you.
37:04Here's another task.
37:06It's time to face the music.
37:18Hello, Tofinga.
37:19Hey, Paul.
37:20Feeling good?
37:22Feeling good.
37:23OK.
37:24Make a new musical instrument.
37:26It must be playable and smaller than a dog.
37:29You have 30 minutes.
37:31Your time starts now.
37:33I'm just going to grab everything and bring it down.
37:35What do you mean, everything?
37:37My crafts.
37:44Right, so whose instrument are we going to look at first?
37:47The whole band's back together.
37:49Here's everyone.
37:52Get down, boy, get down.
37:54Why'd you say that?
37:55Just to show you that this is an Irish wolfhound.
37:57Oh, like one standing up?
37:59Yeah.
38:00Do you know what this is?
38:02What?
38:03A panjo.
38:05It's really good.
38:06I just need a comb.
38:07A comb?
38:08Comb and tissues.
38:09What about, like, some kind of hat?
38:11You know how, like, Australians with a cork hat?
38:14OK, so this is my centrepiece and my muse.
38:17It's a poor man's instrument.
38:20So if I could get that in there.
38:23Careful not to stab yourself.
38:25Yeah.
38:26Yeah.
38:29You know what you'd play on a panjo?
38:31What?
38:32Walk and roll.
38:33He's on fire.
38:40See?
38:41So what's actually happening?
38:42Because it seems like you're just making the noise with your mouth.
38:45The top part is for the lower notes.
38:48And the other parts, the higher notes...
38:52That's quite good.
38:55I think this is, like, a cursed instrument.
38:58Like, when I put this on, I'm going to completely change.
39:02Whoa.
39:08OK, I think this is it.
39:09Does this instrument have a name?
39:11The Paul Demonium Tree.
39:13The Red Death.
39:14The Mellow Capello.
39:16Capello.
39:17It's the...
39:19Comtesse.
39:20The what?
39:21Comtesse.
39:22Comtesse.
39:23Yeah, comtesse.
39:28Being out panju there, that was...
39:30Yeah, really good.
39:31That was amazing.
39:32One day you guys should go away for the weekend and just pun together.
39:35Jealous, are we?
39:36Yeah, wow.
39:38What a cuck.
39:46So, here's some still images.
39:48Oh, my goodness, Abby, what have you done there?
39:51You've got to love me for who I am.
39:55And Tefinga, the comb tissue.
39:57Sorry, what's it called?
39:58The comb tissue.
39:59Oh, for some reason I thought he said the cum tissue.
40:05Tom Sainsbury.
40:06Sorry.
40:08So, do you want to score them, Jeremy?
40:10I would love to score them, but I actually probably want to hear them first.
40:14And we have one thrilling part to go, so stay tuned.
40:28Good on her.
40:29Welcome back to Taskmaster, or as some people call it,
40:32New Zealand doesn't have talent.
40:34We're nearing the end of the episode.
40:37Paul, could you give us a scoreboard update, please?
40:40Abby's in second with 13, but in first with a three-point lead,
40:43it's Tom Sainsbury.
40:45OK, the stakes are high.
40:47Get on stage, everyone, for the live task.
40:54Oh, I like the look of this, Paul.
40:56Who's going to read out the task tonight?
40:58Tom Sainsbury.
40:59Ooh.
41:00Congrats.
41:01Thanks.
41:02On your original instrument, perform a solo with this jazz band.
41:08Best solo wins, your solo must last for 15 seconds.
41:14Take it away, fellas.
41:20Please welcome to the stage, on his banjo, it's Ben Hurley.
41:44Give it up for Ben Hurley, everybody.
41:47Please welcome to the stage, on the mellow cappello,
41:51it's Hayley Sprouse.
41:59A-one, a-two, a-scooby-dooby-doo.
42:13A-one, a-two, a-scooby-dooby-doo.
42:21Hayley Sprouse, mellow cappello.
42:24Please welcome to the stage, on the poldemonium tree,
42:28it's Tom Sainsbury.
42:44APPLAUSE
42:46Tom Sainsbury.
42:51Up next, on the comb tissue, it's Bubba.
42:57Take it away.
42:59HE HUMS
43:09APPLAUSE
43:13HE HUMS
43:17Bubba, everybody, on the comb tissue.
43:21And last but not least, on the red diff, it's Abbey Howells.
43:26APPLAUSE
43:40Oh, she's lost the party thing.
43:44HE SCREAMS
43:46Somebody stop her.
43:50She's smoking.
43:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:56Now, bring it home, everybody.
44:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:13OK, come on down, and we'll score it another round of applause
44:17for our musical comedian!
44:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:24That was impressive. I really enjoyed that.
44:26It's going to be... Oh, goodness me, there's that death mask again.
44:29I can't take it off.
44:31OK, I'm going to have to score this.
44:33One for you, Hayley.
44:35Outrageous.
44:37Two for Ben with the panjo.
44:39The only actual instrument.
44:41Three for the death mask and the performance on the death mask
44:44I thought was particularly good.
44:46Four for Tom.
44:47And I'm going to go five for Barbara.
44:49You are out of your mind, Jim!
44:51You have lost your mind.
44:53You have lost your mind.
44:55What?! What?!
44:57It's over. He's lost it.
44:59Now, before you announce the winner of Ep 7,
45:02how are we looking for the whole series?
45:06In first equal, both on 107, it's Hayley and Tom.
45:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:12So, very close. Very close.
45:14A huge turnaround for Tom Sainsbury,
45:17who has also won the episode with 20 points.
45:20Wow!
45:22Congratulations, Tom.
45:24You are now the proud owner of five delightful items
45:27from sketchy places.
45:28Please go and collect your items
45:30and remember that if the police ask you where you got them from,
45:33you know absolutely nothing.
45:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:37Another episode down, and we've learnt more than ever before.
45:42We've learnt never to assume the end of the task.
45:45We learnt that fat might be one ingredient in soap,
45:48but probably shouldn't be the only ingredient.
45:51And most importantly, we've learnt that Tom Sainsbury
45:54is the winner of Episode 7.
45:57See you next time. Ka kite anō.
46:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:16Television has absolutely peaked.
46:18See what the show does to you?
46:20Makes you completely paranoid about everything.
46:23No need to be paranoid.
46:26Getting quite good at doing well in tasks,
46:28but you have no idea what's going on.
46:30No idea.