The Best comedy Movie ( Comedy, Drama )
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00No relation.
00:00:01That was my first question.
00:00:02Beat me to it.
00:00:03Big reading you have ahead of yourself at Booksmart downtown later today?
00:00:06Yeah, that is the sentence.
00:00:08Well, I don't think it'll be that bad.
00:00:10Book readings aren't known to end with the audience eating the author.
00:00:13Oh, but I do like that visual.
00:00:16Someone trying to appease a room full of cannibals with chiclet.
00:00:19I mean, I can't say that's the best category or the strongest genre to tackle that sort of room, but...
00:00:24Well, if not chiclet, what genre do you consider yourself?
00:00:29Uh, I don't know. I guess I don't like to be tied down.
00:00:32Categories are for agents and bookstores.
00:00:35It's a shortcut when your job is selling books all day long.
00:00:38You know, readers, like alphabeticalize.
00:00:41We look at books differently.
00:00:43They influence and authors end up pigeonholed.
00:00:46I mean, moral of the story, the good life is reserved for the readers.
00:00:49Explore the store, have fun, be curious.
00:00:52So is irony your favorite?
00:00:55Well, the madness is in today's world no one can know anymore.
00:00:59Seriously?
00:01:01Sounds like you're having a meltdown.
00:01:03If you let them think you're crazy, they're gonna think that I'm crazy.
00:01:06And if I'm crazy, I can't help you.
00:01:08I can't even help myself and we both lose.
00:01:10Whoa!
00:01:12What the...
00:01:14What was that about?
00:01:16Well, that sounds like work.
00:01:17Well, it's more work than social media.
00:01:19I mean, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, those are work.
00:01:23But if people scroll and scroll all day long,
00:01:27I mean, even when they're in movies that they hate to see
00:01:29or with people that they love, it's like, get off your phone.
00:01:33If we had a way to track how many words people read on average today,
00:01:36I bet you it's more than Warren P's cover-to-cover
00:01:38or scrolling every year,
00:01:40which, you know, when you think about it,
00:01:42it's actually really impressive.
00:01:44If you hand someone a 1,000- or 1,300-page book,
00:01:48tell them to take a year, for some reason they get scared.
00:01:52You know, it works out to about five pages a day, by the way.
00:01:55But people read 280 characters at a time?
00:01:57We all read one sentence at a time.
00:02:02So, I said to him, post-postmodernism is so over.
00:02:06Come on, tricks are for kids.
00:02:08Can you write something truthful, for God's sakes?
00:02:13Listen, I'm going to have to have some pictures from you.
00:02:16I got to give something to the publisher.
00:02:18Nobody's writing blank million-dollar checks anymore, though.
00:02:22Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind?
00:02:24No, not at all. I'm, uh...
00:02:26He's going to be down there.
00:02:28OK, OK. Carry him.
00:02:30Now, you listen to me first.
00:02:33My client said he hates fucking three of them, his words.
00:02:37Well, take your stupid, honest, even,
00:02:41read what the title of the book is.
00:02:44No, no, no, no. He's done this before to me.
00:02:47When I see him, I'm going to briefly strangle him.
00:02:50Oh, so I'll strangle him this very day.
00:03:20Oh, that's a fun one.
00:03:34Written in high school, published years later.
00:03:37Pretty pure stuff.
00:03:39They went no picture.
00:03:41It didn't matter. Still did well.
00:03:44Better when that happens.
00:03:46Did you like it?
00:03:48It's an authentic debut.
00:03:51We'll see when the next one shows up here.
00:03:53They all do.
00:03:55You make this place sound like it's a pound.
00:03:58Well, some do tend to get adopted quicker than others.
00:04:06Thank you.
00:04:17I don't like that cover.
00:04:20It's all wrong.
00:04:22Why?
00:04:24Because it appears as if you're trying to overcompensate
00:04:28for the sentences.
00:04:30And the book deserves better than that.
00:04:32I usually only check voicemail twice a day
00:04:34when taking a dump on a good day.
00:04:36You think I'm an animal.
00:04:38You're the one still leaving voicemail.
00:04:40Text.
00:04:43Hey.
00:04:45You know what?
00:04:46I think we got a bestseller.
00:04:48Well, I haven't read it yet.
00:04:49Half of them haven't even bought it yet.
00:04:51All right, so can you please be in the moment
00:04:55and appreciate how special this all is.
00:04:59Just try and put on your happy face.
00:05:01Turn the frown upside down.
00:05:04And also, do not talk anyone out of buying the book.
00:05:09Thank you.
00:05:11Thank you, thank you.
00:05:16Hi there.
00:05:17Actually super disappointed this mic doesn't have any feedback on it.
00:05:20I'm going to have to break the ice myself now.
00:05:25So, um, I guess this is what an AA meeting feels like.
00:05:32I'm Erin Bellow.
00:05:34I've been in sentence construction for over a decade now.
00:05:41I hope this adds something.
00:05:47Hey, I really love what you wrote.
00:05:49Oh, thanks.
00:05:50But do you get some kind of thrill out of trying to hurt us with this story?
00:05:55Um.
00:05:57I'm asking out here because I figured you wouldn't want me to ask in there with everyone.
00:06:01Right, well, it's not being done at you.
00:06:04I guess I thought we were just trying to work on something together.
00:06:09Come on, come on.
00:06:11If you don't like it, you can walk away, right?
00:06:14But, uh, thank you for coming.
00:06:40Thank you.
00:06:42Sweetie, just wanted to tell you, you were great, great today.
00:06:47No, no, no, I just, I thought you were coming.
00:06:49Oh, no, you know, have this.
00:06:51Such a boring dinner with my boss and the three amigos.
00:06:55You can come.
00:06:56Welcome to join.
00:06:58No, I'm good.
00:07:00Smart you.
00:07:01Hey.
00:07:08Hi.
00:07:09Hi.
00:07:10How you doing?
00:07:11Tired.
00:07:12Long day.
00:07:13Yeah, tell me about it.
00:07:15How'd it go?
00:07:16Good.
00:07:17Yeah? What'd you read?
00:07:19Same old, good old misnomer.
00:07:21The, um, rant about words bouncing off their target.
00:07:25Yeah, at least when code doesn't work, I get instant feedback when the app crashes.
00:07:29God, that sounds so good.
00:07:31Now I get it down and then I've got to wait ten years to see if it mattered.
00:07:34Not if you want to pull it, sir.
00:07:36Right, name the last five winners.
00:07:38Anyway, listen, um, uh, there's a reason that I wanted to video chat with you.
00:07:42Oh, yeah?
00:07:44Look what I was just eyeing.
00:07:46Kelly on her back, romped his nightcoat shirt.
00:07:48Yo!
00:07:49Oh, uh, all right, yeah.
00:07:51I don't know, uh, yeah, I don't know if that's funny or offensive.
00:07:55Anyways.
00:07:56Uh, yeah, anyway, um, I, uh, seriously, I, I want you to say hi to Lacey.
00:08:03What?
00:08:04Hear me out.
00:08:05What is she doing there?
00:08:06She showed up here.
00:08:08I told her right away that I was completely uncomfortable with it.
00:08:11Yeah, yeah, me too.
00:08:13See, the thing is, that's why I was putting this all out in the open,
00:08:16because I don't want you to think that I'm hiding anything because there's nothing to hide here.
00:08:19Right, so why are you saying all that like that?
00:08:21Because she showed up. She wanted to talk.
00:08:23About?
00:08:24About?
00:08:25Not about that. About moving, missing us.
00:08:28About how we made a mistake?
00:08:31Maybe.
00:08:33Why didn't you answer when I called earlier?
00:08:35Because we were talking.
00:08:37Right, I want to talk to her.
00:08:38Yeah, good. That's why I wanted to video chat with you,
00:08:41because that way you can just go ahead and say whatever, say whatever, say whatever you want to say.
00:08:48Here.
00:08:51Hi, Aaron.
00:08:52Hi.
00:08:53Hey.
00:08:54You okay?
00:08:55Yeah, no, yeah. I'm good. It's just, it's been rough.
00:09:01Yeah.
00:09:02You drinking a beer?
00:09:05Yeah.
00:09:06So, um, what, you just popped by?
00:09:12I don't think I'm going to be here when you get back.
00:09:14Right, well, like I have a meeting tomorrow, but I should be back in like a day or two.
00:09:20Yeah, well, with all the way they've been flying you around.
00:09:24Look, you're moving, Lacey. No one's dying.
00:09:26Yeah, I know. I'm just, I know.
00:09:30Anyway, um, I gotta head out.
00:09:41Okay.
00:09:42Uh, let me call you back.
00:09:43Wait, what? What? Why?
00:09:45What, what? You want me to put you on the windowsill so you can watch her out?
00:09:50Fine, call me back.
00:09:51Okay.
00:10:06Oh, shit!
00:10:13Hello?
00:10:14Hello?
00:10:16Oh.
00:10:19I'll be down in a minute.
00:10:25Oh, God.
00:10:26Oh, God.
00:10:43So just tell him to go fuck himself.
00:10:45And then when he realizes I don't like fucking myself, I want you to do it for me.
00:10:50Then you will get Theo back. Do it!
00:10:54This is all day.
00:10:55God.
00:11:03Oh.
00:11:06All right.
00:11:08What is this?
00:11:09Oh, it's a hangover cure.
00:11:11The best, the best.
00:11:12Hi there. The usual.
00:11:19Here.
00:11:20I just need a macchiato.
00:11:21No, no, no, this is much better.
00:11:22It's a plant-based straw.
00:11:23I'll take the usual, too.
00:11:32I don't know. Should I be worried?
00:11:34I mean, is this some kind of a drinking problem?
00:11:37Uh-uh.
00:11:39Hi.
00:11:40Yes, hi.
00:11:41Good morning.
00:11:42Yes, I'm here with Erin.
00:11:43Uh, yes, I have you here, Mrs...?
00:11:46Yes, yes.
00:11:48Mrs. Yes, right.
00:11:50Mr. Williams is telling me that we need to wait until Miss Freeman is ready.
00:11:54Oh, how long is that going to be?
00:11:56She's usually ten minutes behind.
00:11:58Oh, that's actually probably going to be better for us.
00:12:01Because I...
00:12:03It's like a literal ball and chain.
00:12:05Shame!
00:12:07Shame!
00:12:13Are you going to be okay for this meeting?
00:12:16Please don't yell at me.
00:12:21Hey, Kerry, we're ready.
00:12:24Doubtful.
00:12:26Hi, Erin. I'm Greg.
00:12:28Okay.
00:12:31So, Erin, congratulations on your novel.
00:12:33I love where it took me.
00:12:35Such a departure from your debut.
00:12:37And I want to thank you both for coming here and making time for us
00:12:40because I know that you're at the end of your trip.
00:12:42And a little birdie told me that you had been taking other production meetings thus far,
00:12:47so I know that you have choices, options.
00:12:49I also heard something about, um, a series.
00:12:52Yes, well, that's why we're interested in hearing what you all have to say.
00:12:57Because I'm interested in getting on with lunch.
00:13:00Lunch? Oh, well, who are you lunching with?
00:13:03With Erin.
00:13:05Oh.
00:13:07Well...
00:13:0886.
00:13:09We're thinking of Cruise for the lead.
00:13:13But, um, the antagonist is 25.
00:13:16I happen to know Tom Cruise very well,
00:13:18and I think if he wants to do it, we can age him down.
00:13:20Mm, so it wouldn't be the character that changes.
00:13:24It would be the actor.
00:13:26Having him play 25 again would be a great press move.
00:13:29Mm-hmm.
00:13:30And I think it would up the value of the project twofold, if not more.
00:13:33Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:13:36Wait.
00:13:37Who's that?
00:13:38It's me!
00:13:39Oh, hey!
00:13:40Down.
00:13:41Sit down.
00:13:42You wanted me to give her to risk your business, right?
00:13:45Did we offend her?
00:13:47No, no, no.
00:13:48She's just a little under the weather.
00:13:51But I'm sure that she'll feel much better
00:13:54if you can get your offer into the mid-sixes.
00:13:57So, I'll be off.
00:14:00Good day.
00:14:02Fire that little brat.
00:14:04You're fired.
00:14:06This is so good.
00:14:08How do you know?
00:14:10How do I know?
00:14:11That bottle cost $100.
00:14:12That's how I know.
00:14:14Mm.
00:14:16Ah.
00:14:18Now, they told me that you opted out for tomorrow's meeting
00:14:21because you want to take the red-eye home.
00:14:23Yeah, I feel like you don't need my help picking
00:14:25who's going to fuck it up the least.
00:14:27Well, you got them right.
00:14:29I don't know what you're talking about.
00:14:31I feel like you don't need my help picking
00:14:33who's going to fuck it up the least.
00:14:35Well, you got them right.
00:14:36I got stuff I got to get home to.
00:14:38Writing?
00:14:40Maybe.
00:14:42Come on, you know, I don't want to be a pain in the ass,
00:14:45but there is a deadline on the horizon,
00:14:47and I know I don't need to remind you.
00:14:49Yeah, no, I know, I know.
00:14:51I just, um, I've got some ideas that I'm noodling.
00:14:55Oh, good.
00:14:57Good, good, good.
00:14:58What?
00:15:00I'm working on them, so I don't want to...
00:15:02Thank you.
00:15:03Thank you.
00:15:04You can tell me.
00:15:05Friend to friend.
00:15:08Okay, so I'm thinking the sci-fi set in the 90s with rap music.
00:15:14No.
00:15:15No.
00:15:16What?
00:15:17No, no, no.
00:15:18No? Why?
00:15:19No, because historical sci-fi doesn't work
00:15:21unless you happen to be steampunk.
00:15:23Wait, so we call this gangster steam?
00:15:25Nobody reads steampunk
00:15:27except for the few people that read steampunk.
00:15:30Okay.
00:15:31No, it's not okay.
00:15:33The publisher offered you mid-six figures advance.
00:15:38That tells you that they want a lot of people to read your books,
00:15:42not just those people.
00:15:45What do you mean, those people?
00:15:47What do you mean, what do you mean?
00:15:48You know what I mean.
00:15:49It's a small demographic.
00:15:50It's a niche demographic.
00:15:52That's a thing.
00:15:53Niche, schmich.
00:15:54Okay, it's a road trip story.
00:15:55Two best friends are going to Argentina,
00:15:57except they can't go to the next country
00:15:59until they have sex with someone in the country that they're in.
00:16:01It's country, country, bang, bang.
00:16:03Oh, no, no, no.
00:16:04Try and come up with something else.
00:16:06That doesn't send me like that dress.
00:16:09Sibling rivalry drama.
00:16:11Brother and sister, they're both in love with the same girl.
00:16:14Believe it or not, I heard a very similar pitch last week.
00:16:18What?
00:16:19Same snatch, different day.
00:16:21How about this?
00:16:22A coalition of religious leaders discovers the cure to cancer,
00:16:24which reinstores volume in modern faith,
00:16:26only to reveal the science behind the coalition.
00:16:28I got Tiger Portal to move up, so you should stay till tomorrow.
00:16:31What, you didn't like those guys today?
00:16:33We could get more.
00:16:34Well, what about a remake?
00:16:36You know, that goes fast, and then you won't get writer's block.
00:16:39Yeah, especially if I'm plagiarizing.
00:16:41No, we wouldn't do it like that.
00:16:43I just want something that's quick,
00:16:45something honest, something truthful.
00:16:48Well, I need to have something that I feel like is worth the paper.
00:16:50It's not being printed.
00:16:52It's on digital.
00:16:53Oh, my God.
00:16:54It's like an old-fashioned detective story,
00:16:56but the detective is an amnesiac,
00:16:58and the criminal has a photographic memory.
00:17:01You know, there is a Swedish fairy tale that I've always loved.
00:17:04It's The Prince Without a Shadow.
00:17:06We want something that people actually know.
00:17:09People know fairy tales.
00:17:10Not Swedish ones, honey.
00:17:12Not even the Swedes.
00:17:14The poster had nothing to do with the story.
00:17:16Well, at least they knew Chartreuse was green.
00:17:18The Salem Witch Trials.
00:17:21But set in modern day.
00:17:24Why don't you do a memoir?
00:17:26That's a good idea.
00:17:27What? No.
00:17:28And then you can write about what you know.
00:17:29I'm not even 30. That's stupid.
00:17:31And they want to sell it in the U.S.
00:17:33Nobody here is gonna want a fairy tale
00:17:35that doesn't have a happy ending.
00:17:36You can thank Disney for that.
00:17:38What about a bunch of girls, all tweens?
00:17:42No. I hate it.
00:17:45I haven't even heard it, and I hate it.
00:17:47Well, that's all I had.
00:17:48I thought you'd come up with the rest.
00:17:50A remake is a chance to set the record straight.
00:17:52Pass.
00:17:53Why?
00:17:54Because it's not what they want.
00:17:55Well, what do they want?
00:17:56They want something that they already like.
00:17:59You don't want to wait until somebody salacious comes along
00:18:03and writes his own version of it,
00:18:05and you know that they will,
00:18:06and they always make money at it.
00:18:08There's used bookstores just filled
00:18:10with whole sections of that crap.
00:18:12Memoir, it's terrifying.
00:18:13No matter who writes it,
00:18:14it's probably better it's not me.
00:18:16Here's your macchiato.
00:18:21Thank you.
00:18:30I'm always struck by that responsibility
00:18:33that the writer has, because they have such power,
00:18:36and as we know, with great power comes great responsibility.
00:18:39Yes, indeed.
00:18:40You have the power to determine the fates of everyone
00:18:43in this world that you've created.
00:18:45It's the power that we all lack in our own universe,
00:18:48but the writer completely controls it in his universe.
00:18:55Ladies and gentlemen,
00:18:56we are preparing the cabin for landing.
00:18:58Please place your seats and tray tables in the upside position
00:19:01and we'll be on the ground shortly.
00:19:03Thank you for flying with us and have a nice day.
00:19:193
00:19:212
00:19:231
00:19:48♪ I'm gonna go on and on, turn on the genuines ♪
00:20:00Ah, you look so good.
00:20:02Thank you, Sunil.
00:20:05Wow, it's been a while.
00:20:07Yeah.
00:20:09Thank you.
00:20:11Certainly feels like it.
00:20:15So?
00:20:16Are they going to adapt it?
00:20:19Um, I don't know, I guess I'd prefer that they didn't.
00:20:22Come on, what about the fatty check
00:20:23that'll pay off the new house before Escort closes?
00:20:26Yeah, I'm not sure I'm gonna go through with that.
00:20:29Then you said your bungalow wasn't big enough
00:20:31for the two of you.
00:20:38Are you guys breaking up?
00:20:41Or...
00:20:43Did you guys sleep together the other night?
00:20:44No.
00:20:49No.
00:20:51I just wanted to say goodbye in person.
00:20:54I didn't know I'm not allowed over unless you're home now.
00:20:57It's not that.
00:20:58You know what, maybe you were right.
00:21:00Sleeping together was a mistake.
00:21:05Yeah, I just thought maybe they'll get it
00:21:06out of their system while I'm around.
00:21:09And now?
00:21:12Now I'm moving.
00:21:15So what?
00:21:17So you won't have to worry.
00:21:22Yes.
00:21:43All right.
00:21:55My hands.
00:22:12Okay.
00:22:26Rand!
00:22:30Okay.
00:22:31Ow, no!
00:22:36God!
00:22:43Okay, okay.
00:22:47Damn it!
00:22:50Okay.
00:22:52Okay.
00:23:05Rand!
00:23:11Rand!
00:23:12Okay.
00:23:40Oh, jeez!
00:23:43Ow.
00:23:55So you're serious that you're not gonna believe me?
00:23:58Erin, we didn't do anything.
00:24:01I just need you to help me pack my stuff in the morning.
00:24:08Can you at least go sleep on the bed?
00:24:09No, I can't.
00:24:13Okay.
00:24:23Well, now you don't have to get rid of this place.
00:24:25I was gonna miss it.
00:24:28I don't know how you can be so illogical.
00:24:32Well, that's why you write code and I write prose.
00:24:38I hope that in time you realize
00:24:41I was telling you the truth.
00:24:43The way you remember it?
00:24:44Or the way it actually happened?
00:26:42Okay.
00:26:52In the room.
00:26:53Straighten the back leg.
00:26:55Very slowly press down to the left foot.
00:27:05No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:27:08Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:27:10No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:27:14No!
00:27:26Inhale, lift the right leg parallel to the earth.
00:27:29Exhale, lift the right foot through the palms.
00:27:32Stay.
00:27:40Inhale, lift the right leg parallel to the earth.
00:27:44Exhale, lift the left foot through the palms.
00:27:48Stay.
00:27:48Inhale, lift the right leg parallel to the earth.
00:27:52Exhale, lift the left foot through the palms.
00:27:56Stay.
00:27:57Inhale, lift the right leg parallel to the earth.
00:28:01Exhale, lift the left foot through the palms.
00:28:05Stay.
00:28:06Inhale, lift the right leg parallel to the earth.
00:28:11Ah!
00:28:17Ah!
00:28:21You're kidding me.
00:28:22I'm hardly a kidder.
00:28:23I'm earnest.
00:28:24That's probably not the right word.
00:28:27Fine, I will take one of these.
00:28:29We're closed.
00:28:31Ring it up in the morning.
00:28:32That bag is $24.
00:28:34What?
00:28:40Thank you.
00:28:41You're welcome.
00:28:42See you tomorrow.
00:28:44All right, bye bye.
00:28:45I'll talk to you about the ring.
00:28:46It's nice to see you.
00:28:48Bye.
00:28:49Bye bye.
00:28:49Bye bye.
00:28:50Bye bye.
00:28:51See you tomorrow.
00:28:53Bye.
00:28:53Bye.
00:28:54See you tomorrow.
00:28:56Bye.
00:28:57Bye.
00:28:58See you tomorrow.
00:29:00Bye bye.
00:29:02See you tomorrow.
00:29:03Bye bye.
00:29:04Bye bye.
00:29:05Bye bye.
00:29:06Missed call.
00:29:07Bye bye.
00:29:09♪♪
00:29:19♪♪
00:29:29♪♪
00:29:36Never hire that asshole actor.
00:29:39Whoop. Okay.
00:29:41Carry on.
00:29:43Come on.
00:29:48Print the pages. Print the pages.
00:29:58Where's the rest?
00:30:03Oh, God.
00:30:05I have Erin on, too.
00:30:07She can't wait to talk to you.
00:30:09I'll go get you Xanax.
00:30:12Hey.
00:30:13So?
00:30:14There's nine pages.
00:30:15Yeah.
00:30:16That's it?
00:30:17I just wanted you to get an idea of what track I was on.
00:30:20So there's no more?
00:30:21No.
00:30:22Okay, good.
00:30:23Just good?
00:30:24No, the pages suck, honey.
00:30:26I thought you wanted me to write a memoir.
00:30:28It's so depressing.
00:30:31Thank you.
00:30:32Sorry.
00:30:33I mean, it's a little bit embellished.
00:30:36You can't purposely set out to write a fake memoir.
00:30:41At least I'm being upfront about it.
00:30:42It's like I dare you to find the truth in it.
00:30:44Okay, you know what? Forget the memoir.
00:30:47I'll get a biographer.
00:30:48You'll have full approval and profit participation.
00:30:52What?
00:30:53Sweetie, you got to get used to the idea
00:30:55that you're a public figure.
00:30:57You're a brand.
00:30:58People know me.
00:30:59You're telling me the only thing
00:31:00you don't want me to write about is me?
00:31:02Yes.
00:31:03No fake memoirs.
00:31:05No Nordic fairy tales.
00:31:07No gangster punk.
00:31:09Something else. Fast.
00:31:11The publishers are waiting for pages.
00:31:13And if they don't get them soon,
00:31:15they're going to sit their asses down
00:31:16and write you a letter
00:31:17in the language that they love most.
00:31:20Legalese.
00:31:21Think about it.
00:31:22Bye.
00:31:33Welcome, welcome to the autumnal edition of Bookworm.
00:31:36I'm your host, Will Forsyte.
00:31:37I'll be sharing these five or so megabytes
00:31:40with the critic for California Monthly,
00:31:43Theo Minkin.
00:31:44Theo, welcome.
00:31:45Thanks.
00:31:50It's open.
00:31:51Oh, and paperback.
00:31:53You're very young.
00:31:55Hi, Nana.
00:31:57I still like this one best.
00:32:02Doesn't give you a clue what's on the inside.
00:32:05Which makes me curious.
00:32:07That's why I love you.
00:32:09We'll be discussing a number of topics today,
00:32:11including readership going up,
00:32:13the return of long form.
00:32:15But first, something we were discussing
00:32:17before we started recording.
00:32:19And I said, Theo, hold on.
00:32:20This is good stuff.
00:32:21Save it for the podcast.
00:32:23Are you seeing anyone?
00:32:25Nana.
00:32:26You should be.
00:32:27Oh, so should you.
00:32:28I am.
00:32:29And if you were around more, you'd know that.
00:32:34It's much better for me to talk about my great-grandkids
00:32:38than it is to listen to somebody else
00:32:40talk about their uncle.
00:32:41Nana.
00:32:43You need to visit more.
00:32:45I have like zero time.
00:32:47You make of time what you want.
00:32:49And if you don't make time, young lady,
00:32:52I'm going to tell this journalist or whoever
00:32:55that you were selling drugs in high school.
00:32:59Don't you dare.
00:33:01Don't you dare.
00:33:02So a few minutes ago, you were espousing
00:33:04on a new theory on young adult readers.
00:33:07Yes, who are they, these young adults?
00:33:09It's code for easy.
00:33:11Adults get to feel young again,
00:33:13and the young get a taste of the sourness
00:33:15that awaits them as adults.
00:33:17It's easy, moves fast, and no big words.
00:33:19Well, I got news for you.
00:33:21Pizza can be great,
00:33:22but they don't award Michelin stars to pizzerias.
00:33:25No.
00:33:26Simply because it will never be
00:33:27the greatest meal in the world.
00:33:29And what about Erin Bellow?
00:33:31Well, who gives a shit?
00:33:33Wait, why?
00:33:34Well, she's inauthentic.
00:33:36She's trying to decode and decipher
00:33:38a world from the position of a quarter-life crisis.
00:33:42Then her publishers sell her on her last name.
00:33:45She's in the category of O'Connor or Little Ran.
00:33:48Well, pardon me, but I'm not buying.
00:33:50Why?
00:33:51Well, she's about as erudite as my five-year-old.
00:33:55Showing off her new dive.
00:33:56But unlike my child, she doesn't belly flop.
00:33:59She misses the goddamn pool.
00:34:01And concrete is hard, especially from those heights.
00:34:05Hey, what are you looking at me like that for?
00:34:08That doesn't seem fair.
00:34:09What's the worst that's gonna happen to her?
00:34:11A concussion?
00:34:12She'll live, hopefully, with enough amnesia
00:34:16to forget writing.
00:34:26PHONE RINGS
00:34:34Bit early, don't you think?
00:34:36Well, hello to you, too.
00:34:39It's earlier here, I'm allowed to be cranky.
00:34:42Are you okay?
00:34:43Yeah, I know.
00:34:44There's a really nice, soft bush
00:34:45outside the window of my one-story balcony.
00:34:47I don't own any roofs, and I don't cook enough
00:34:49to keep my knives sharp, so...
00:34:50All right, listen, you gotta go to Los Angeles right away.
00:34:54Why?
00:34:55Because I booked you on perspective.
00:34:58Why?
00:34:59Because I want you to shut those critics up,
00:35:02and I want you to set it straight
00:35:04and tell everybody your story.
00:35:06Now, you'll be flying on my expense again.
00:35:08While you're at it, my husband never shuts up
00:35:11about this Korean-Persian restaurant.
00:35:13I said it's Asian fusion, it's not the piece of wood,
00:35:17but I'm dying to have you try.
00:35:25Money that pops that bull
00:35:26Go ahead and gag, just get a mouthful
00:35:28Batty, batty, my chicks are flawless
00:35:29I live by my rules, so no doubt I am lawless
00:35:31Don't matter how them haters, them chicks is just mad
00:35:33You bitches washed up just like Trinidad
00:35:35But we wanna party, gon' dab on them hoes
00:35:37Got chicks off our feathers, it's me and my woes
00:35:39Sexy as itch, big as a bitch
00:35:40Smart as a what?
00:35:41Savvy as fuck
00:35:42So we make it hot for these chicks to keep up
00:35:44Bums, it's about time for you to step up
00:35:46Walk up in there like she look good
00:35:49Like, oh my
00:35:51Ahem
00:35:54Can you help set the table? Dinner's ready
00:35:56Of course
00:35:59You should go
00:36:01Trips always shake things up
00:36:04Good for you lissies
00:36:21You can do me up, keep going, don't be scared of me
00:36:26Oh, she's my favourite designer, British
00:36:29Oh!
00:36:30Hey!
00:36:31Jessica!
00:36:32You look amazing!
00:36:33Oh, it's so good to see you!
00:36:34Good to see you too
00:36:35You know, I loved Miss Noma
00:36:38Oh
00:36:39Incredible length
00:36:40How did you get all that in there?
00:36:42Thank you so much, that was...
00:36:44That was amazing
00:36:45Thank you
00:36:46Thank you
00:36:47Thank you
00:36:48Thank you so much
00:36:49That, like, means the world to me coming from you
00:36:51I tore through Trophy Life
00:36:53I mean, I finished it in the middle of the night
00:36:55Caffeine did not even cross my mind once
00:36:56Oh my god, the faster you turn them, the happier they are
00:36:59You know, I just get afraid for when the page-scrolling metrics start showing up
00:37:03Tracking how fast people scroll
00:37:05Right
00:37:06They'll throw that back in our faces
00:37:07So-and-so gets them to read them at 400 words per minute
00:37:10Yeah, so no big words
00:37:11And just a list of actions
00:37:13I mean, I for one would love it if you did some sort of, like, cool mass-market paperback
00:37:17I do love it when a book can fit into my back pocket
00:37:20Right, I love that
00:37:21It's good to see you
00:37:22So good to see you too
00:37:23Thank you so much for coming on the show
00:37:25We never thought we could get you on
00:37:27Pleasure to meet you in person
00:37:28Put a face to the page-proofs
00:37:30Oh, I never realized you covered that genre
00:37:33I've been doing literary for years
00:37:35All right, shall we all be seated?
00:37:48Ugh
00:37:52Please hurry, please, please hurry
00:37:54And three, two, one
00:37:58Good evening and welcome to The Writer Perspective
00:38:01I'm your host, Gwen Ginsberg
00:38:03I can't get-
00:38:04Excuse me, Carrie, client's on
00:38:05All right
00:38:06Can you please do something?
00:38:09Joining me on this stage, Jessica Morrison
00:38:11Most famous for Right's Wrong, but most recently, Trophy Life
00:38:16Mm
00:38:19And author and screenwriter of Everyone Loves Buffoons, Theo Mankin
00:38:24And, of course, we are very lucky and grateful to have her
00:38:29A very rare public appearance, Erin Bellow
00:38:32Who is going to get my first question
00:38:34What is the truth?
00:38:37Still can't hear them
00:38:39Well, it is a pale green French liqueur made from 150 herbs
00:38:44It's like wheatgrass alcohol
00:38:48Well, not what is it scientifically, but it's been over a year
00:38:52And no one can agree on the title
00:38:54It's up to the reader
00:38:56Oh, oh, look at her
00:38:58Oh, isn't she beautiful?
00:39:00Oh, and look at those legs, she looks terrific
00:39:03She looks good, right?
00:39:04She does, no, she does
00:39:05Yes, that's my stylist
00:39:07I mean, when I remember endings
00:39:09I usually don't remember the rest of the novel
00:39:12And to me, a novel is a journey, it's not a result
00:39:16And so if a book doesn't end but fades out
00:39:21I don't know, it makes the stuff in the middle more important
00:39:25Risky
00:39:27So far, so good
00:39:28Yeah, look how composed she is
00:39:30So, Ms. Queen of Suspense and Book Club Fiction
00:39:33Hate that
00:39:34What, book club?
00:39:35No, sorry, I love that people are reading it
00:39:38It's just, when it's categorised like that
00:39:41I mean, you don't need a support group to read it
00:39:44You just read it
00:39:45Yeah, I mean, it's not like it even paints it in a certain light
00:39:48It's more like
00:39:49Like a shadow
00:39:50Yeah
00:39:51And misconceptions, they stick on books
00:39:53Colour our judgement
00:39:55This is the future of picture watching
00:39:58And Jackie Collins
00:39:59And Anne Wilty
00:40:02The most graphic of them all
00:40:03She's just punchy
00:40:04She has my heart
00:40:07Theo, funny feeling, she's not yours
00:40:10Oh, no
00:40:11I can appreciate Wilty
00:40:12She ogles the rich and famous like Collins
00:40:14But with more artistic punch
00:40:16All are straightforward
00:40:17Wilty offers more
00:40:19She's more
00:40:20Spiritual
00:40:22Are you trying to be nice?
00:40:23Big ideas don't come from big words
00:40:26Well, while you're off playing word chess
00:40:28You lose your audience
00:40:29What audience?
00:40:31Well, maybe if Anne Wilty lived a little off the page
00:40:34To me, she's too much
00:40:36Wonderment of the banal
00:40:38Well, what about John Updike?
00:40:40Couldn't the same be said of him?
00:40:41You love him
00:40:42Of course
00:40:43He was risque
00:40:45Perhaps you forgot that adaptation
00:40:47These ladies are
00:40:48Going down that road for the first time
00:40:50It's good for business
00:40:51But don't bother writing the script
00:40:52Leave that to the wolves
00:40:54Books are different than movies
00:40:55And both are different than real life
00:40:57Listen, a bit on words
00:40:59I know populism is in these days
00:41:02Appealed to the ruralites
00:41:04But words are important
00:41:06They must be handled with care
00:41:08Ideas are viruses that can infect us all
00:41:11So when they are handled recklessly
00:41:13And gain an audience
00:41:15As both these young ladies have been
00:41:17So lucky to have gained
00:41:19Words really mean something
00:41:21They are paid for their words
00:41:23They should use them well as they build sentences
00:41:26The sentences reach up to form the rafters
00:41:29So meaning can harbor safely in its clasp
00:41:33This shelter is the church of readers
00:41:38Did you adapt that from
00:41:39Here's the church, here's the steeple?
00:41:41Open the doors and see all the people
00:41:44You know, bad reviews can ruin careers
00:41:47Are you threatening us, Mr. Mencken?
00:41:49Just you, Mrs. Bellow
00:41:50Oh God, God help me
00:41:52Maybe I should have done this
00:41:53So I think that things don't have to be
00:41:55Incomprehensible to be great?
00:41:57No, it doesn't
00:41:58But it should at least aspire for something
00:42:00Irving doesn't write until he knows the last sentence
00:42:03Well, that's great for him
00:42:06But we're all different souls
00:42:08And assuming that's where we write from
00:42:10It ought to be different
00:42:12Distilling 10,000 hours into a couple hundred pages
00:42:16I mean, you can't hide from yourself when you're alone
00:42:18Write in for months and months
00:42:21Or years
00:42:22Yeah, and then a reader takes it down in a couple weeks
00:42:24Or a day
00:42:26So the publishers hope
00:42:27Better have that bar lower
00:42:29And move on so as not to reveal
00:42:31There is nothing to your superficial marriageableness
00:42:35You say the word soul
00:42:37Yet your sentences go nowhere
00:42:39Because they aspire for so little
00:42:41And yes, I'm calling you out
00:42:43I heart colloquialisms
00:42:45Yeah, well, it's easy to throw stones
00:42:47True, not easy to crack that glass
00:42:50No, that's just mean
00:42:51That's just mean
00:42:52What?
00:42:53Why don't you show us how?
00:42:55Right now, with all the cameras rolling?
00:42:58And on that note, we'll be right back
00:43:03Hide the razor blades, I'm gonna kill myself
00:43:29Huh?
00:43:30Huh?
00:43:57His clean collar
00:43:58Contrasted his light amber scruff
00:44:00Spotless shoes
00:44:01Worn belt holes
00:44:02Showing recent attention to fitness
00:44:04Well-tied tie
00:44:05Perfectly upturned cuff
00:44:06All in all, a well-put-together man
00:44:24Excuse me
00:44:25Are you good at algebra?
00:44:28Think you could replace my ex without asking why?
00:44:30I'm sorry, that sounded so much better when I read it
00:44:34Hi, I'm Brad
00:44:36Nice to meet you
00:44:38I don't have a pickup as cheesy as that
00:44:40Checkmate
00:44:42Excuse me
00:44:43Nice try
00:44:44Get back in line
00:44:47She's...
00:44:48Nina
00:44:49With me, now
00:44:52If this is what she gives up for coffee
00:44:54Imagine what she gives up to get into a club
00:44:58What?
00:45:06BRB
00:45:15The tingle bounced off the inside of her fingertips
00:45:18Inbound signals conflict with outbound
00:45:21Shaking her hands
00:45:23Forcing her to hold them steady with her legs
00:45:26Immediately the electric moment began to dissipate
00:45:29So she spreads her legs
00:45:31Digs her claws in
00:45:33Grabbing a hold to savor the moment
00:45:36For love at first sight
00:45:38Is a rare endangered energy
00:45:44So, is this your coffee shop?
00:45:46You mean, do I come here often?
00:45:49Yes, I'm afraid so
00:45:52We're past the icebreaker
00:45:54Yeah, I realize how that sounded
00:45:56I just so badly wanted to say the right thing
00:45:58And in the process of throwing out all the wrong things
00:46:01You know, don't say that
00:46:02Not that one
00:46:03Definitely not that
00:46:04I...
00:46:06That one sort of got overlooked
00:46:09I'm...
00:46:10Sorry
00:46:11Not sorry
00:46:14Do you think love at first sight is endangered?
00:46:24No
00:46:38This is me
00:46:39Oh
00:46:40Where are you parked?
00:46:41Oh, I walked
00:46:42Oh, cool
00:46:43I'm looking forward to dinner tonight
00:46:44Yeah
00:46:45Seven?
00:46:46Seven
00:46:47Great
00:46:49Sorry, I'm keeping you
00:46:52Oh, big day
00:46:53Already
00:46:54Bye
00:46:55Bye
00:46:56Bye
00:47:08The garishly bejeweled dress reeked of a woman divorced of money trouble
00:47:12She felt set free beneath the weight
00:47:15And at least for now
00:47:16Stood tall allowing her financial freedom to shine
00:47:19Is there something in particular I can help you find?
00:47:21How did you know to ask me that?
00:47:23It's...
00:47:25My job
00:47:39You know, I do have a business line
00:47:42Um, I'm just taking a quick break
00:47:44But I wanted to call and tell you that I am working on something
00:47:47Oh, great
00:47:48Don't worry
00:47:49Something everyone knows
00:47:50I'm looking for the truth in tropes
00:47:53I'm sure the publisher will be thrilled
00:48:07The definition of his hard abs was as angular as the corners on his cherry red super car
00:48:13He shyly explains how it was cobbled together for three generations
00:48:17By a family of mechanics in the Italian Alps
00:48:20He questions the aerodynamics while grabbing a hold of the stick
00:48:25And shifting gears, casually wondering how much sex the hood could withstand
00:48:30Vroom, vroom
00:48:43Vroom, vroom
00:49:04Do you live alone?
00:49:06I do
00:49:08Huh
00:49:11So, I'm just realizing this now
00:49:13And it's kind of amazing, but it never came up this morning
00:49:19What do you do for a living?
00:49:22I am in construction
00:49:26What?
00:49:28I'm an architect
00:49:29Journeywoman
00:49:31Oh, wow
00:49:32I don't know about wow
00:49:35The ferocity of their fight allowed all the oldies but goodies to seep out in their nastiest forms
00:49:41Lack of communication was
00:49:43You don't fucking talk to me about shit anymore
00:49:45Turning the kids into comrades against the other came out as
00:49:49Your son is following in your asshole footsteps
00:49:52And the familiar good old taking the other for granted as
00:49:55I'm just here to cook and drive the kids to school and screw
00:49:59And we barely do that
00:50:01This, of course, presented the solution
00:50:04Which was to do what they did best
00:50:07Two thieves steal a calendar
00:50:10They each get six months
00:50:16So, how did your last relationship end?
00:50:20To be honest, it's still not over yet
00:50:24What does that mean?
00:50:28Well, this is all a bit sudden
00:50:29I'll say
00:50:30But what does that mean?
00:50:32I've been dating someone more often on
00:50:35Lately it's been pretty okay
00:50:38I'm not one to just walk away from what happened today
00:50:41Because you're a cheater
00:50:43I wouldn't call what we did today cheating
00:50:45Well, you kissed me
00:50:46You kissed me back
00:50:47Which is a lot different than sleeping together
00:50:49There's no sleeping when I sleep with someone
00:50:54Are you even listening to me?
00:50:56I'm trying
00:50:59Oh
00:51:02Freaking ice cold
00:51:14Is everything alright?
00:51:17Yeah
00:51:18Let me just see if I can bring this one back from the brink
00:51:21Thanks
00:51:29I'm sorry
00:51:30I'm sorry
00:51:31I'm sorry
00:51:32I'm sorry
00:51:33I'm sorry
00:51:34I'm sorry
00:51:35I'm sorry
00:51:36I'm sorry
00:51:37I'm sorry
00:51:38I'm sorry
00:51:39I'm sorry
00:51:40I'm sorry
00:51:41I'm sorry
00:51:42I'm sorry
00:51:43I'm sorry
00:51:44I'm sorry
00:51:45I'm sorry
00:51:46I'm sorry
00:51:47I'm sorry
00:51:48I'm sorry
00:51:49I'm sorry
00:51:50I'm sorry
00:51:51I'm sorry
00:51:52I'm sorry
00:51:53I'm sorry
00:51:54I'm sorry
00:51:55I'm sorry
00:51:56I'm sorry
00:51:57I'm sorry
00:51:58I'm sorry
00:52:02Sir, are you guys done?
00:52:04No
00:52:05No
00:52:07Yeah, it's just not working out
00:52:28Pardon me, sorry.
00:53:28I don't understand these, but this one looks more like you.
00:53:59Why isn't it red?
00:54:02What?
00:54:03The cover.
00:54:05Wait, what color are chartreuse anyway?
00:54:13I didn't actually realize the time. I gotta get going to work.
00:54:21Oh, wait, um...
00:54:24You wanna get coffee?
00:54:26Just have to drive without it?
00:54:28Risky, I know, but it's better than being late.
00:54:32See you soon?
00:54:34Yeah.
00:54:56Don't look like you should
00:54:58Just come along and sing this song called
00:55:01Damn, I'm Good
00:55:03Well, damn, I'm good
00:55:05I tell myself that
00:55:0724 hours a day
00:55:08Damn, I'm good
00:55:10This life's too short to have you any other way
00:55:13Everybody should just take the time
00:55:16To make themselves feel good
00:55:19Well, just say good
00:55:21Damn, I'm good
00:55:23She says you know when I'm so bad
00:55:31I'm so bad
00:55:33Damn, I'm good
00:55:53The stalker paced behind, step for step
00:56:00Bonded in their precise distance, not far, not close
00:56:03She, the prey, tests their bond
00:56:05Slow steps, then quick
00:56:07The stalker kept in step, holding true to their conflicted connection
00:56:10She panics, her panic brings him pleasure
00:56:13He forbids her escape
00:56:15This was him pawing at his prey
00:56:17Toying, toying, fantasizing
00:56:19About her flailing realization that she was powerless here
00:56:22In public
00:56:29Alright
00:56:30Hey, careful with that ball
00:56:32Alright, bye
00:56:33Okay, bye guys
00:56:49Damn, I'm good
00:57:04Damn, I'm good
00:57:06Oh yeah!
00:57:07Oh yeah!
00:57:18There are days when we don't feel just like we should
00:57:22That's the most important time to say
00:57:25I feel good
00:57:26Damn, I'm good
00:57:28I tell myself that 24 hours a day
00:57:31Damn, I'm good
00:57:33This life's too short to have you any other way
00:57:36Everybody should just take the time
00:57:39To make themselves feel good
00:57:42Well, just say good
00:57:44Damn, I'm good
00:57:47Everybody say good
00:57:49Damn, you're good
00:57:51Everybody
00:57:52Everybody say good
00:57:54Damn, I'm good
00:58:06Damn, I'm good
00:58:07Damn, you're good
00:58:09Damn, you're good
00:58:11Damn, you're good
00:58:33I got this part
00:58:35Wanna make it faster?
00:58:36Yeah
00:58:48Okay?
00:58:49Okay
00:58:50Go
00:58:51Go
00:59:06Fuck
00:59:25Hey!
00:59:26What's this all about?
00:59:28Huh?
00:59:36Huh?
00:59:41You got nothing on me
00:59:43How can you be so sure?
00:59:45Who are you?
00:59:46Huh?
00:59:49Wait, don't come another step closer
00:59:51I have a...
00:59:54Stop!
00:59:55Oh babe, I don't need a rape fantasy on top of a stalker fantasy
00:59:58How'd you know it was me?
01:00:00Why wouldn't anyone investigate me?
01:00:02Oh, Mr. Innocent, huh?
01:00:04I'm not an angel
01:00:08He had a condom in his wallet slash armband thing
01:00:12It all happened so quick
01:00:13Are you getting good stuff?
01:00:15Yeah
01:00:17So go, have fun, be safe
01:00:19And bring me pages, would ya?
01:00:21Yeah
01:00:32Yeah, so...
01:00:34All of a sudden this feels so real
01:00:38I can't do this
01:00:40Do what?
01:00:43I am in a relationship
01:00:51For both of us
01:00:54It's kind of a relief, in a way
01:00:57I mean, hey, it's messed up
01:00:59And I'll be honest
01:01:02And I hope you take this the right way
01:01:05I did feel bad, like remorseful even
01:01:08But we're never meant to be together, me and her, so...
01:01:12Do you not feel the same way?
01:01:15It's with my cousin
01:01:18Your cousin?
01:01:20My cousin's brother
01:01:23So your cousin?
01:01:25Yeah
01:01:26No
01:01:27No
01:01:28I don't know
01:01:29What, is it the half-brother?
01:01:30Who? What?
01:01:31To the cousin that you're in this relationship with
01:01:34Isn't that what we're talking about here?
01:01:37So you're not bothered by this?
01:01:38You're just trying to figure it out, like family tree?
01:01:40Oh!
01:01:41What?
01:01:42Oh!
01:01:43Is this incest fetish?
01:01:49Wow, you are something else
01:01:52Oh my god, I can't
01:01:54I'm sorry
01:01:55Wow, you are something else
01:01:58Oh my god, I can't
01:01:59I'm sorry
01:02:13Your jacket!
01:02:16You're gonna catch a cold!
01:02:26I'm sorry
01:02:39So what are you saying? You broke up with him?
01:02:41I was crawling into bed with someone who was willing to entertain an incest fetish
01:02:44Do you have no concern for my well-being?
01:02:46Oh sweetie, guys are into much weirder stuff than that
01:02:51I just read about a micro-trend that they're doing it with dolphins, believe it or not
01:02:56You're no help
01:02:58Your problem is, you need to have a lot more experience with guys
01:03:02Why don't you go on the Tinder or that new one, Rumble.com or
01:03:07Smash.com or
01:03:10You both win
01:03:12Bye
01:03:13Bye
01:03:22So, where did you grow up?
01:03:40What are you doing?
01:03:41Oh
01:03:43So
01:04:02Oh my god, are you...
01:04:07Here
01:04:08Oh, um
01:04:09Um
01:04:16You're a writer?
01:04:18I mean, everyone's a writer, technically
01:04:20I guess so, I mean
01:04:22I text a lot
01:04:24I mean, it's not entirely the same thing
01:04:26No, no
01:04:27Tell me about you, what do you do?
01:04:29Ah, um, you know
01:04:31I like to think of myself as more than just an accountant
01:04:35I live a very full life on the weekends
01:04:38Things beyond the numbers
01:04:41Things beyond numbers
01:04:43Oh, wow
01:04:44That's amazing, um
01:04:46Would you like to go out again sometime?
01:04:49Oh my goodness, look at you
01:04:50Yes, I would love to actually
01:04:52Give me your number
01:05:09Thank you
01:05:28I really always wanted to try this
01:05:30For real
01:05:31Well, yeah, but cash is dirty
01:05:33Wounds are the worst
01:05:35Oh
01:05:36Touched the most hands
01:05:41You really thought of that?
01:06:06Yeah, one second
01:06:10Hi
01:06:11Is this your dog?
01:06:12Yes
01:06:13Thank you so much
01:06:14Buckles
01:06:15Buckles
01:06:16Yeah, wait, wait
01:06:17I got a treat, I got a treat
01:06:18I got a treat
01:06:20Yes
01:06:21Oh, thank you so much
01:06:23Look, I don't know how
01:06:24You're welcome
01:06:25I can repay you
01:06:26But, um
01:06:27Can I take you out?
01:06:28Do you wanna
01:06:29You might wanna maybe come in
01:06:30I would love a glass of water
01:06:31That's a heavy dog
01:06:32Cool, and maybe we could, uh
01:06:34Like have sex or something?
01:06:36Um, how about a glass of water?
01:06:38Yeah, come on
01:06:45I mean, it was a great day
01:06:46Buckles, thank you
01:06:47Awesome
01:06:48You're so welcome
01:06:49Yeah, fantastic
01:06:50How's that avocado?
01:06:52Um, it's good, I love it
01:06:54That's good, those are good fats
01:06:55I like guacamole, so
01:06:57Oh yeah, oh yeah
01:06:58I'm big on the guac
01:06:59Oh
01:07:00Had a good workout today?
01:07:01Great, um
01:07:03Big wad
01:07:04Big what?
01:07:05Wad
01:07:06Big wad
01:07:07Yeah
01:07:08Oh
01:07:09Workout of the day
01:07:10Oh, workout of the day
01:07:11I don't think I'd heard that before
01:07:12Yeah, hit some PRs
01:07:13What's that?
01:07:14Personal records
01:07:15Nice
01:07:16And PBs, PBs, PBs
01:07:17PBs, I get it now
01:07:18Personal bests
01:07:19Personal bests
01:07:20Yeah, my personal bests
01:07:21I'm always against myself
01:07:22Competition against myself, like
01:07:23I like that you take care of yourself
01:07:25That's
01:07:26Hey, without your health
01:07:27You don't have anything
01:07:28Yeah
01:07:29So yeah
01:07:30Health, my dog
01:07:32And, you know, a lady
01:07:38Good night
01:07:39Good night
01:07:40Listen, I can't thank you enough
01:07:43Is this the part where I say you can thank me in bed?
01:07:46I mean, yeah
01:07:48Uh, I won't turn you down
01:07:54But that's something that could wait till the second date
01:07:57If you want
01:07:59Thanks for saving buckles
01:08:01It's just a weird name
01:08:03I'm sorry
01:08:05Listen, on second thought, do you want to just
01:08:07Good night, bud
01:08:10Everyone turn them over
01:08:13All right
01:08:14Down the rows, to the left
01:08:16I'll take those
01:08:18Thank you
01:08:20Thank you
01:08:22Thank you
01:08:24It's not exact
01:08:25Fighting
01:08:26Take this
01:08:27Thank you
01:08:29Thank you
01:08:30Thank you
01:08:31Thank you
01:08:32Thank you
01:08:33Thank you
01:08:34Thank you
01:08:35Thank you
01:08:36Thank you
01:08:37Thank you
01:08:38You guys are good to go to lunch.
01:09:09Have a good day, guys.
01:09:11Don't forget to do your homework, all right?
01:09:14Okay?
01:09:38Okay.
01:09:54Oh, shit.
01:09:56Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
01:10:08Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
01:10:31Hi.
01:10:32Oh, hey, what's up?
01:10:34Hey. Good to see you.
01:10:35You, too. You look great.
01:10:37Do you mind if I sit here?
01:10:39Um, yeah, sure. No problem.
01:10:41I want to keep my back to the door so I can just focus on you.
01:10:45Nice. I got some shots for us.
01:10:47Great.
01:10:49Um... Games.
01:10:52So, um...
01:10:55Did you work out today?
01:10:56Just got it in. I'm still buzzing.
01:10:59Great.
01:10:59Pre-workout.
01:11:00Yeah. Kicking through.
01:11:01Nice.
01:11:02Yeah, hit a major PR today.
01:11:04Um...
01:11:05Personal record.
01:11:06Great.
01:11:07Yeah, rowing 2,000 miles in under four minutes.
01:11:10I mean, like, a bulging.
01:11:11Yeah.
01:11:12Did you know that when you're working out,
01:11:13you're actually tearing muscle fibers?
01:11:16Like a zipper.
01:11:17You have the myosin and the actin.
01:11:19So, like, you're tearing them apart.
01:11:22And then you rebuild them.
01:11:23Science.
01:11:23That is science.
01:11:25I guess you're sort of a scientist.
01:11:27Yeah, you know, by proxy, I think so.
01:11:29Yeah.
01:11:30Um, what does your, um, diet say about shots?
01:11:33Going into a cheat day.
01:11:34So, I say bring it on.
01:11:35Great.
01:11:36Bartender, can we get two more?
01:11:38Each.
01:11:39Whoa.
01:11:41For a little girl, you can really drink.
01:11:43So, uh, what else do you do when you're not...
01:11:47Hit.
01:11:48Hit.
01:11:48Uh, high-intensity interval training.
01:11:51Cardio.
01:11:51Oh.
01:11:52Yeah, I'm really looking to get ripped right now.
01:11:54So, that keeps your metabolism, uh, gets you shredded.
01:11:57Thank you.
01:11:58Thank you.
01:11:59Um, so, basically, my metabolism off the chain right now.
01:12:03I'm burning calories when I'm out of the gym.
01:12:05Caloric burn.
01:12:07So, do you ever do, um, yoga or...
01:12:09Yeah, I think you ever, as much as you build up the muscle,
01:12:11you got to...
01:12:11What the hell is this?
01:12:12Oh, who the hell are you?
01:12:14Who the hell are you?
01:12:15How about that last shot?
01:12:16Oh, yes.
01:12:18Gains.
01:12:19Look, I know we got into some weird stuff,
01:12:21but this is batshit crazy.
01:12:23Oh, hey, don't talk to the lady like that.
01:12:25Dude, I bet you don't even have a clue.
01:12:28Did she tell you what she did with her cousin?
01:12:29No.
01:12:30What'd she do with her cousin?
01:12:33Okay, I think it's time to go.
01:12:35You and your little incest story.
01:12:37I mean, she clearly moved on, and I think you should leave.
01:12:39Yeah, have fun with this guy.
01:12:59Hold on. Oh.
01:13:01Excuse me. Oh, is this for me?
01:13:03Thank you so much.
01:13:30Fuck, oh, shit. Shit.
01:13:34Hey, come here.
01:13:36Hey.
01:13:36Hey.
01:13:37Hi.
01:13:38I brought you a hangover cure
01:13:40and a protein shake in case you've already worked out,
01:13:42which, knowing you...
01:13:45Thanks.
01:13:47I'll make sure not to venture too far from the toilet.
01:13:49Smart.
01:13:51Um, look, I also wanted to apologize.
01:13:54Don't worry about it. Listen, it's fine.
01:13:57All's well that doesn't end in death.
01:14:00I like that.
01:14:02Um, listen, I gotta get ready for the gym,
01:14:06unless you want to, uh...
01:14:09Fuck?
01:14:09Yeah.
01:14:11No, Seth.
01:14:12Vagos, come on. Let's go.
01:14:24Starting here.
01:14:25This one, this one, this one, this one, this one.
01:14:29Who's next? One, two...
01:14:30Oh, my God. Are you okay?
01:14:31Eight. Eight.
01:14:35What are you doing here?
01:14:37No, I just... I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
01:14:39Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
01:14:41Hey, hey, go to class.
01:14:45I told the kids I had eye surgery.
01:14:47Third grade and bar brawls don't go together.
01:14:51I also... I wanted to confess.
01:14:53Yeah, I don't read that crap.
01:14:56Well, I wanted to say that I'm sorry.
01:14:59Sorry about what?
01:15:06You deserve better than me and my gimmicks, Brad.
01:15:15You should leave.
01:15:21Yeah.
01:15:29Yeah.
01:15:43Oh, just a phase?
01:15:45Yeah, you can call it that.
01:15:47Phases come and go.
01:15:49Sometimes I put the C's in that.
01:15:58Okay.
01:16:28Okay.
01:16:58Okay.
01:17:28Okay.
01:17:58Okay.
01:18:19Yet Nina was relieved.
01:18:21She was robbed of nothing.
01:18:24Instead, he had set her free.
01:18:27If there were going to be a clean break,
01:18:29at least the licking flames looked beautiful
01:18:31as the curtains fell
01:18:33just prior to her third act.
01:18:38And there, before it really gets sad...
01:18:45Um, how much of it is really true?
01:18:49None of it. It's a book.
01:18:51But I did my research.
01:18:53You did a great job.
01:18:55Thank you very much.
01:18:57You did a great job.
01:18:59And how do you think this will be a new category?
01:19:01It sells more books, sure.
01:19:03Everyone's so busy constructing universes.
01:19:05I'm dabbling in the multiverse.
01:19:07There you go.
01:19:09Same, that's right.
01:19:11That's very cool.
01:19:15Uh, any advice for an aspiring writer, Theo?
01:19:19Well, there can be a living in it
01:19:21if you care more about it
01:19:23than any other living writer,
01:19:25and just as much as all those who came before.
01:19:28Did you work with Aaron Bellow on it?
01:19:31Uh, you know, if you can't read the cover,
01:19:34you probably shouldn't get the book.
01:19:36Then why didn't she just write her own memoir?
01:19:39Because then it'd have to be true.
01:19:43Don't forget to tell your friends.
01:19:49Spoiler alert.
01:19:51The line of defamation is tested
01:19:53as Mr. Menken trounces his main character in the end,
01:19:56bringing to life Burrow's belief
01:19:58that heroes and heroines are meant to be killed.
01:20:01In this case, not before the writer wakes from a coma,
01:20:04only to discover she's lost both her hands
01:20:07and thus her will to write.
01:20:21Let's go.
01:20:52Look, just because it's a sensation
01:20:54doesn't mean we have to go nuts with the second printing.
01:20:57Hey, hey, hey, sorry to intrude. Oh, hi, Carrie.
01:20:59Hi.
01:21:00Can you cover this for me? Maybe reissuing it.
01:21:03Is it any good?
01:21:04I don't know. I have no fucking idea.
01:21:09Um, Aaron's in your office.
01:21:13Oh?
01:21:16All right, let me know how that goes.
01:21:21I didn't know you were in New York.
01:21:25Yeah.
01:21:30I don't know what to tell you.
01:21:34Tell me something.
01:21:40You were a lot less likable in the first movie.
01:21:43You were a lot less likable in the first draft.
01:21:46Fuck you.
01:21:48Come on. I'm in it, too.
01:21:51You didn't lose your hands and the will to write.
01:21:55It's not real, okay?
01:21:58It's not real.
01:21:59Plus, I sent you the pages.
01:22:02I even sent you the ARC to read.
01:22:06You know, life goes on for...
01:22:10us working people in the real world.
01:22:13You hijacked my life.
01:22:15Those are details you told him.
01:22:17They could have only come from you.
01:22:19All right, I edited the hell out of him.
01:22:21You, I give carte blanche.
01:22:23We couldn't agree on a subject.
01:22:27When did you become his agent?
01:22:29Who do you think got him on that talk show?
01:22:32Listen, this is nothing but hype.
01:22:37Before you know it, it's gonna be collecting dust
01:22:40in those secondhand bookstores that you love so much.
01:22:43I was in an important part of our...
01:22:45Okay, fine, I'm sorry.
01:22:46I didn't mean to insult you or your secondhand bookstore buddies.
01:22:50Why can't you just think of this as a straw man?
01:22:53You're, you're, you're more than welcome to knock it down whenever you want.
01:22:58Can't you just, just write something?
01:23:02Even if it has imperfections, I'll say you're going Kerouac.
01:23:05Just give me a masterpiece, for God's sakes.
01:23:08Three years.
01:23:10Three years past due.
01:23:14You're fired, Carrie.
01:23:19What? Really?
01:23:22Really.
01:23:26How the hell am I supposed to work with you?
01:23:28You exploited me.
01:23:30Oh, God, so typical.
01:23:33I've exploited you.
01:23:35I've been freaking breathing life into your wasting career.
01:23:41Keeping you on life support.
01:23:43Why can't you just give me something?
01:23:46I can put your career back on track.
01:23:48I can get you freaking published.
01:23:51You're not the only person who can do that for me.
01:23:53Yes, I am, actually.
01:23:57You're gonna give the publishers back their advance money?
01:24:01Then how about me?
01:24:03Where's my 10%?
01:24:07I've been doing my job.
01:24:10And quite creatively, I might add.
01:24:18Your mom always listened to me.
01:24:20You're making a mistake!
01:24:31¶¶
01:24:33You know, every time you look at a memory,
01:25:03it changes just a little bit.
01:25:07Never stays the same, but it can be for the good,
01:25:15like anything else, right?
01:25:24It can, baby.
01:25:33It can.
01:25:34It can.
01:25:35It can.
01:25:36It can.
01:25:37It can.
01:25:38It can.
01:25:39It can.
01:25:40It can.
01:25:41It can.
01:25:42It can.
01:25:43It can.
01:25:44It can.
01:25:45It can.
01:25:46It can.
01:25:47It can.
01:25:48It can.
01:25:49It can.
01:25:50It can.
01:25:51It can.
01:25:52It can.
01:25:53It can.
01:25:54It can.
01:25:55It can.
01:25:56It can.
01:25:57It can.
01:25:58It can.
01:25:59It can.
01:26:00It can.
01:26:01It can.
01:26:02It can.
01:26:03It can.
01:26:04It can.
01:26:05It can.
01:26:06It can.
01:26:07It can.
01:26:08It can.
01:26:09It can.
01:26:10It can.
01:26:11It can.
01:26:12It can.
01:26:13It can.
01:26:14It can.
01:26:15It can.
01:26:16It can.
01:26:17It can.
01:26:18It can.
01:26:19It can.
01:26:20It can.
01:26:21It can.
01:26:22It can.
01:26:23It can.
01:26:24It can.
01:26:25It can.
01:26:26It can.
01:26:27It can.
01:26:28It can.
01:26:29It can.
01:26:30It can.
01:26:31Hey, you have something for me?
01:26:32I need you to send me the uncorrected proofs.
01:26:35Uh, well that's a little hard to do before you send it to me.
01:26:39No, Mencken's.
01:26:41Why?
01:26:42Before you cut him back.
01:26:44Why?
01:26:45What are you going to do?
01:26:47Reply in kind.
01:26:49Either that or sue your company.
01:26:51The publisher?
01:26:52For defamation.
01:26:53Although I'm pretty sure I can prove collusion too.
01:26:56Just send me the proofs.
01:26:58Okay.
01:27:00Literally.
01:27:01Literary revenge.
01:27:02I like it.
01:27:03You see?
01:27:04This is why I told them not to take your advance back yet.
01:27:08I knew you'd get struck by something.
01:27:10They were thinking lightning, but I bet...
01:27:15Sweetie!
01:27:17Sweetie?
01:27:30Sweetie?
01:27:53Hi, Mr. Dog.
01:27:55Buckles!
01:27:57Thank you so much for finding buckles.
01:27:59That is such a cute name.
01:28:01Listen, I don't know how I could repay you.
01:28:03Maybe with some sex.
01:28:06Yeah?
01:28:07Hello!
01:28:12Is that a caramel macchiato?
01:28:14No, I'm sorry. I thought that's what you ordered.
01:28:16No, I ordered a macchiato. It's just foam and espresso.
01:28:18With caramel.
01:28:21Yeah, but I'm looking for just foam and espresso. That's it.
01:28:24No, it's in the name. Caramel macchiato.
01:28:29Caramel macchiato.
01:28:59Caramel macchiato.
01:29:29Caramel macchiato.
01:30:00Oh! Wait!
01:30:03Hey!
01:30:05Wait! Stop! Stop!
01:30:07Whoa, what the...
01:30:08Oh, shit! Open it!
01:30:10Open it!
01:30:11Holy shit!
01:30:16Nina?
01:30:17What are you doing? The sensor's broken.
01:30:19Got it. It's Aaron.
01:30:22Come on.
01:30:30It's a drink.
01:30:31I'm fine.
01:30:32Whatever. They're cheap.
01:30:33I'm just gonna leave it right here in case you change your mind.
01:30:38I can't believe you're not a Nina.
01:30:41I can only see you as a Nina.
01:30:45Don't you think you should have changed my name to something better than your version?
01:30:49What's your fancy?
01:30:51Something like Bartholomew.
01:30:55It's a good famous name.
01:30:56No, it's a shit name.
01:30:58You are terrible with names. That's as bad as buckles.
01:31:00Oh, do you think we should reiterate the fact that you got me drunk,
01:31:03which is why I lost that fight?
01:31:05That, and we're supposed to see that other guy as the good guy.
01:31:08And I'm the...
01:31:09Dick.
01:31:11Now you are talking. You're taking the words right out of my mouth.
01:31:15You think you could, like, craft up a little passage about, you know,
01:31:19in, like, Charles Dickens-like detail about the size and girth and beauty of my...
01:31:26Dick.
01:31:45It's unique to my personal mission.
01:31:48Slightly different from what you're used to.
01:31:56Oh.
01:32:14Come in.
01:32:18Hi.
01:32:21Hi.
01:32:22Do you have a minute?
01:32:24Nina, I...
01:32:25Aaron.
01:32:27I...
01:32:28This is my place of work. You can't be here.
01:32:30Yeah, I thought this was a better job for you.
01:32:34Still, anything we discuss here is probably not going to be appropriate.
01:32:38It's true.
01:32:41Come on.
01:32:42Where are we going?
01:32:43Mrs. Ortiz, I'm going to grab a coffee.
01:32:45I made it.
01:32:46I need it strong.
01:32:47If I make it any stronger, it'll kill you.
01:32:56I can't believe your name's not Nina.
01:33:00I am known by many names.
01:33:03Bwah!
01:33:04Ha ha ha ha!
01:33:08I can't believe you're not really a teacher.
01:33:10Well, in my defense, you never asked.
01:33:13Subbing for a teacher on maternity leave isn't something I bring up on first dates.
01:33:18See, this is why backstories should never be overlooked.
01:33:21That, and I don't fancy sympathy lays.
01:33:25You're right.
01:33:26Role-playing should never be depressing.
01:33:28Stalker rape on a second date is pretty extreme.
01:33:31Yeah, I thought so too.
01:33:32But, I mean, at least you won the fight, right?
01:33:35Yeah.
01:33:36Do you think they were rooting for me too?
01:33:40I think that was the design.
01:33:45So we're from here?
01:33:47Yeah.
01:33:49So we're from here.
01:33:55Do you think it's possible for things to get convoluted past the point of no return?
01:33:59You mean if we have a chance?
01:34:01Yeah.
01:34:02Well, like, I mean, I know you're not real, but...
01:34:04I'm not.
01:34:05And yet here you are.
01:34:07So, whatever.
01:34:09There's no going back.
01:34:10This ship only moves forward.
01:34:12They invented rewind for VCRs.
01:34:14Oh boy, there's something I'm not nostalgic for.
01:34:18Wait.
01:34:19Is there anything that you would change?
01:34:21Come sit.
01:34:27This is dangerous.
01:34:29Yeah.
01:34:36What if I kidnapped you?
01:34:38More research for your sequel?
01:34:40Stockholm Syndrome.
01:34:42Bonnie and Clyde, but in a steampunk setting.
01:34:45With gangsters.
01:34:46I mean, I think we're really getting somewhere here.
01:34:48Let me just tell Ortiz I quit.
01:35:02But in the end, we're from two different worlds.
01:35:07Mine's a more perfect universe.
01:35:17If I can control it, it's not real.
01:35:23Goodbye, Brad.
01:35:29Bye, Erin.
01:35:31Thank you.
01:35:47Ah!
01:36:09So, have you found a new place?
01:36:11I'm still looking.
01:36:12Yeah.
01:36:13I have a few options that I'm going to decide between.
01:36:17I can show you if you want to help.
01:36:19I could use a little bit of help deciding, honestly.
01:36:22I'd love to, yeah.
01:36:24Okay.
01:36:33What about like a period love story, like pre-cell phone?
01:36:36There's a lot of places that I can go with that.
01:36:38That's like, that's what?
01:36:40Eighties?
01:36:42Or like 1800s.
01:36:44Or like I'd do an 1800s thing with cell phones.
01:36:47Like a mash-up.
01:36:49Sci-fi, set in the 90s, with rap music.
01:36:55No.
01:36:56And a little birdie told me that you had been meeting other productions,
01:37:00and I know you have your pick of who you want to make this book into a film, so...
01:37:13Phew.
01:37:24Oh, that's a fun one.
01:37:26Written in high school, published years later.
01:37:29Pretty pure stuff.
01:37:31It's like two totally different things.
01:37:33I do well like...
01:37:34But you like nice things.
01:37:35I like nice things.
01:37:37Well, you gotta pay for that.
01:37:38Whoa, what the...
01:37:42What the...
01:38:12What the...
01:38:42Your after is only a story
01:38:48I'm ready to find my true glory
01:38:58We dress up in fancy dress
01:39:02In order to sleep and cope
01:39:06Nothing is how we remember
01:39:10Meanwhile, as soon as this is over, let's have a drink together.
01:39:14Let's do that as soon as possible.
01:39:23I do.
01:39:24I do.
01:39:40Hi, can I get you some chartreuse?
01:39:43I always thought what that is.
01:39:44I wondered why it was green.
01:39:46Yes.
01:39:49Hello to you, you son of a bitch.
01:39:51Hello to you, baby.
01:39:53Looking good for a shotgun wedding.
01:39:55Ah, no baby.
01:39:57Honeymoon first.
01:39:58I mean, aren't you the one who accused me of liking Perfect Order?
01:40:01Oh, maybe by baby I meant your next book.
01:40:05They are my babies.
01:40:07I have to say having me here is a bit of a stretch, isn't it?
01:40:10No.
01:40:12I think I can even make you fit into my happy ending.
01:40:20Hi.
01:40:21Hi.
01:40:22Hello.
01:40:23Now you know I'm not into costumes or characters or theme weddings and yet here I am.
01:40:31You got to have your way with me, why don't I got to have my way with you?
01:40:34I guess I don't have any choice now, do I?
01:40:37No.
01:40:45You know what I wish you talked to me about more?
01:40:47What, honey?
01:40:50My mother.
01:40:54And my father.
01:40:55Oh, yes, your mama.
01:40:58You know, before she met your dad, she was into my Frank.
01:41:05I know.
01:41:06She liked him, but he liked me and that made things a little bumpy between me and her.
01:41:12You know, the girlfriend thing.
01:41:15But then she met your father and they fell madly in love.
01:41:20And they made you.
01:41:22It was such a happy time.
01:41:28Yeah.
01:41:59Yeah.
01:42:22I always wonder
01:42:25if that's the reason.
01:42:27No.
01:42:28Why you helped me publish.
01:42:29No, no, I told you.
01:42:32I love it.
01:42:34And how many times did I say to you?
01:42:36That I'm the only one that can bring them back.
01:42:38Exactly.
01:42:40You know them so well.
01:42:42Oh, God, no.
01:42:43That they're up in heaven smiling down on you so proud.
01:42:46And you know what?
01:42:48Stories never die.
01:42:50So now they're immortalized.
01:42:52Isn't that great?
01:42:54How life works.
01:42:59Thank you.
01:43:01Love you, honey.
01:43:05Sweet girl.
01:43:06Now be happy.
01:43:08This is a great day.
01:43:10Ha ha ha ha.
01:43:40Well, baby, I'm fortunate for a hundred.
01:43:42They know that I run it.
01:44:00I'm sorry.
01:44:03Easy to say here.
01:44:06There's no place more public.
01:44:09Your subconscious.
01:44:13It's part of the job.
01:44:16My lady.
01:44:18Congratulations.
01:44:19Thanks.
01:44:20Time to dance.
01:44:21Cheers.
01:44:22Ha ha.
01:44:39Some accuse her of a concussed state.
01:44:41Whatever state it might be, she still felt the work was counterfeit.
01:44:45Merely a play in a play.
01:44:47A scattered reflection of real life.
01:44:49Iteration, degradation.
01:44:51Circuitous roots in the pursuit of happiness.