Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:0012 years. Not a visit, not a phone call.
00:04Mum, I've got to get a job. Yeah, a job, innit, man?
00:07She wants Mike Dodd. I didn't even like Mike Dodd.
00:09I liked Paul Walsh.
00:1231st of Jan, 1997.
00:15If I did get to make love with Paul Walsh,
00:17it would be like that candle in the Jostik shop.
00:19Cradling my face, he'd look deep into my soft eyes
00:22and tell me I was beautiful.
00:24I'd say, shut up, but he wouldn't.
00:26Then he'd take off my bra, gasp at my breasts,
00:28and touch them like an artist.
00:30Removing his T-shirt in one swift move,
00:32he'd hold me tight to his chest, telling me not to be afraid
00:35as I'd feel him hard and massive through his cargo pants.
00:37Never a mention of her mother.
00:40MUSIC PLAYS
00:58MUSIC CONTINUES
01:06What are you doing in my room?
01:07Just hanging out to say hi.
01:10Right.
01:13Which towel is actually mine?
01:15Cos you used a ropey brown one. It stank of turds.
01:17Oh, you can have my fluffy pink one.
01:24Mum, have you been reading my diary?
01:27Is that what it is?
01:29I thought it was a street map.
01:32I've not opened it.
01:37You've used your name patch as a bookmark.
01:39Oh!
01:40I've never in my life been so insulted.
01:44Oh, don't you dare. Don't you dare.
01:46Try and turn it. You always turn it.
01:49I do not!
01:50Right.
01:54Right, Jan 9, 97.
01:56Mum admitted she told the school governors
01:58I went to bed to get a cheap laugh at parents' evening.
02:00I said this was a betrayal of my trust.
02:02She said I was trying to stop her from making friends.
02:05She always...turns it.
02:08So I do get a mention, then.
02:09Get your beak out of my room!
02:12Your room? Your room, is it?
02:14You've been back, what, ten days?
02:16Ten days in 12 years.
02:18Father Ficken Christmas has been here more often.
02:20You can't even do the accent.
02:22It's Feckin or Fockin, not Fockin Fickin.
02:26To think that that foul mouth once nozzled at this teat.
02:29If it was up to me, I'd lob it off.
02:31Then why should your father suffer for your dirty mouth?
02:33I never asked to be born.
02:36You are terrible at everything, get out.
02:38You want my life to be one long apology to your vagina.
02:42My life has been feed you, shelter you, clean up after you.
02:46Oh, Mum, seriously, when did you last hoover?
02:50I don't know where I went wrong.
02:52I only ever wanted to love you.
02:55I remember Rita Penn saying,
02:57your problem, Bren, you love too much.
03:00She actively hates her children.
03:03And look what they've done for her.
03:04Three grandkids and a patio swing set.
03:07This room is all I have.
03:09Will you please just leave my things alone?
03:12They are private.
03:13Who paid for your things?
03:15All your fineries, milady.
03:16Your bed, your beanbag, all paid for by me.
03:20My roof gainer, my domain.
03:22Right, you want me to go.
03:24Is that it? Why not?
03:26You've done it before.
03:27PHONE RINGS
03:30What do you think you're doing? I'm calling my friends.
03:32Not on my phone, you're not trying...
03:34SIREN WAILS
03:37Where are you going?
03:39I'll tell...
03:40SIREN WAILS
03:42Where in town do you want dropping?
03:43Anywhere.
03:45I can't be in the same house as that blood-sucking dickhead.
03:49Not easy for your mum, you being hugged.
03:51Don't try and wriggle out of it, Dad, you're married at heart.
03:56Why would a so-called...
03:58What you said, be so worried about you?
04:01Yes.
04:04E.G. Money-wise.
04:06She said, Roy, Roy, my love, I wish you for cash.
04:10Make sure you give her this and the amount.
04:15I'll give her this and the amount is £10.20.
04:23Thanks, Dad. No, thanks more.
04:26Shall I come with? I can park up the back of BHS.
04:29I don't need a carer.
04:32Isn't that the one you know? Yes.
04:36Would you like to knit back and change? No.
04:39No? Well, good.
04:41Good for you, Gaynor.
04:42Good for you for venturing out on your own.
04:46Big deal. I'm on my own.
04:48Two fingers to the lot here.
04:51Proud of you, love. Drop me at Becky's work. Right-o.
05:12What are you doing? Do you want to come up town?
05:27I can't. I've got to do marketing.
05:32Can I stay at yours tonight? Why come?
05:36I've got to do marketing.
05:37I can't. I've got to do marketing.
05:40Can I stay at yours tonight? Why come?
05:42I hate my mum. Me too.
05:44I'm angry with her whole generation but I've got to do marketing.
05:49Come up town. Go on your own.
05:51I can't.
05:53Are you making trouble?
05:55Can Maggie come out?
05:57No, she's busy. Sorry, Steve, mate.
06:00I was just telling her that.
06:01She's off now.
06:07I'm sorry about the other night.
06:09No worries.
06:11If you want to piss your prospects off a stick,
06:14that's your business.
06:16But you're not waiting on Becky's leg.
06:18Now, are you wanting cladding?
06:21No, thank you.
06:22Pop it, then, my puppies.
06:30Gay!
06:32Take these with you. What are they?
06:35Lollies. Promotional items.
06:38Logo on one side, number on the back. Becky Dunham.
06:41Thought she could give some out uptown. Kids, mums and that.
06:45She'd do it for nothing.
06:47I don't want them wasted.
06:48How's she going to know it's clad worth it?
06:50Good point.
06:52I'd better go with her, then.
06:59Off you go, then.
07:01Smart.
07:04Let's go.
07:09What are you doing?
07:10Getting the others.
07:11I'm not being seen around with just you, you tramp.
07:14A sexy hunk comes over to you in a trendy coffee shop
07:17and offers to buy you a latte.
07:19Do you?
07:21A, tell him you're your own woman, you've just ordered a mocha,
07:25but give him a sexy pout.
07:26Who knows where this may lead?
07:28B, smile shyly and chat, all girls like a compliment,
07:32but keep your big legs covered, you've not been to the gym in weeks.
07:36Or C, tell him straight out that you need a lot of emotional support
07:41and can go for months without even thinking about sex.
07:45C.
07:49Mostly C, you are very depressed.
07:53But don't worry, you're not alone.
07:55Famous depressives include Linda Carter, Ian Wright,
07:58Sylvia Plath and Steph from Hollyoaks.
08:01Why not scribble some of those dark thoughts down and pen a novel?
08:05Failing that, try pole dancing, salsa or neon bangles.
08:08Mm-hm.
08:10Ooh.
08:12I like him.
08:13What do you think of this?
08:15Nice. Yeah, nice.
08:17Yeah, you owe it to yourself to get down your GP.
08:19Yeah, soon as.
08:20Tell him you want your boobs done.
08:21I'm not depressed.
08:23Doesn't matter.
08:24Just say you can't reach the corner shops without crying
08:26and they fix your nocks for free, no questions asked.
08:28What do you think of this?
08:30Nasty.
08:31I need to go to Dixon's, have a look at straighteners.
08:33Try TJ Hughes. What, for straighteners?
08:35Yeah, and I want to see if Dorothy Perkins have got that belt
08:38that makes me look like Cat Dealy.
08:40What do you think of this?
08:41Sweet shit.
08:44Not.
08:45Shit art.
08:47What do you think of this?
08:50Is that what they're wearing down south, then?
08:51No, I just like the colour.
08:53Well, you can't afford it anyway.
08:55Gap year.
08:56Well, I need to go to Boots, get my lips pampered.
09:00Oh, put me down for that, Kelly.
09:02Oh, I do need some titty glitter.
09:03Then we can go and get our 12-ounce Mocca Booster from O'Brien's.
09:06Yeah, well, does whoever picked me up buy them?
09:08Oh, then can we go to Debenhams, try on hats?
09:12If you've heard all they've got to say
09:17You'll never understand the way you turn your brain...
09:19Gayna!
09:20Kelly Brown, Paul Walsh!
09:22It's fake.
09:23It's fake.
09:24It's fake.
09:25It's fake.
09:26It's written in the stars.
09:28My God, Gayna, look, come here.
09:31Look.
09:34Fat Wes.
09:37Fat Wes was in the band with your ball.
09:40Oh, hey, Wes.
09:42Hiya, Gayna, I heard you was back.
09:43Tell her what happened.
09:44I thought Kelly was having them vangles away,
09:46so I came over to stop her,
09:47and that's when we all recognised each other.
09:50What are the chances?
09:51It's like you've got angels on your shoulders, G.
09:54That was four.
09:55Five, last time I saw him.
09:57When was that? New Year.
09:58Great.
09:59I got divorced in 02, so it was the one after that.
10:0303.
10:05Still got his number?
10:06No.
10:07Where's he live in?
10:08I don't know. He moved away, I think.
10:13You could try Siobhan Long at Tress Express.
10:16She does his mum's hair.
10:19Brilliant!
10:20Brilliant!
10:24HEAVY METAL MUSIC
10:43Pass us that puff.
10:50No, look.
10:51You could try Michael Barwick at the round market.
10:53HEAVY METAL MUSIC
11:02I still can't believe this! It's fate!
11:05Darling, will you stop saying that?
11:08Yeah.
11:09We need to speak to that Zoe Akhmed.
11:11We need Paul Walsh's number.
11:12She's not got it.
11:13Bulls.
11:15We heard it straight from the horse's mouth.
11:16Yeah, that way is Paul Walsh's express mate.
11:19Said Siobhan Long cuts Paul's mum's hair.
11:20But she don't, cos Lee Barron threw a banger at her
11:23and her hair come out.
11:24So Siobhan said try Kim Spivey.
11:26And Kim said try the bastard Aaron Barwick,
11:28cos him and Paul used to go circuit training.
11:30So we spoke to Peg Teeth Gary,
11:32but Barwick got headhunted by the sofa centre.
11:34He's doing very well for himself.
11:35But he don't work weekends,
11:37so we spoke to his brother Michael at the market,
11:39and he said, ask Jean, the nickel lady.
11:40And she said, ask Boozy Ryan.
11:41And Boozy Ryan said he knew for a fact
11:43Zoe Akhmed bought Paul Walsh's hi-fi system
11:45from an ad in The Citizen last month.
11:47So Zoe says she ain't got it. She's a liar!
11:49PHONE HONKS
11:52Please pick up, you're blocking the ramp.
11:54Is that Amy Beatley? Yeah.
11:55Still licking her ass, are you?
11:57You don't scare me, Becky Hogg.
11:58Yeah? Come down here then, you fat shit!
12:01PHONE HONKS
12:02Zoe, if you're there, how come you went posh school
12:05and now you work in a car park?
12:07You went posh school, as we well know.
12:09Yeah, right. You had it easy.
12:11You had a media suite.
12:13Was that Tina Jacks?
12:15No.
12:16We can see her on the CCTV.
12:18PHONE HONKS
12:20So?
12:21Is it her that wants his number?
12:23Ladies, please, I know we got beef, but we need to get it buried.
12:26At the end of the day, this is about romance.
12:28She properly likes him.
12:30Did she have it? Tell him, Gaynor.
12:32PHONE HONKS
12:35We did everything, but...
12:37Oh, the one that got away?
12:40Yeah. Yeah.
12:41He lives out near Kenilworth. Do you want his number?
12:44No, just tell him to meet Gaynor Jacks
12:45at the Memorial Park at 7 o'clock.
12:48I'm not fuss-mined.
12:49No, she's not fussed.
12:51SHE SCREAMS
12:58Oh, my God, why did you say that for?
13:01That was brilliant!
13:03I can't believe it was ace.
13:06Why the Memorial Park?
13:08I'm babysitting.
13:09Got to see him somewhere kiddie-friendlier,
13:11or I won't be able to chaperone.
13:12We all need to be there. Men can turn.
13:14Plus, you're dressed like a victim.
13:15This is actual cosmic fate magic in action.
13:20All down to these bangles.
13:25Abracadabra.
13:31Right, I'm going to go get ready.
13:33Yeah, I'm off home. See you.
13:35Tragic.
13:45MUSIC PLAYS
14:03Gigi!
14:06Wow.
14:08You look lovely.
14:10Yeah.
14:11Becky! Any sign yet?
14:14Not yet.
14:17Nice dress, Beck. You look wicked.
14:20Shut up.
14:21Hey!
14:22Ah!
14:23SHE LAUGHS
14:27You look pretty.
14:28I feel pretty.
14:29And that is after battle.
14:31Hmm?
14:34Get your ball.
14:37So, how are you going to play it, G? Casual?
14:40What if he turns up?
14:41He'll turn up. And if not?
14:44I got the easiest back-up.
14:46I'm a 29-year-old businesswoman, Kel.
14:48I'm not drinking out of a bottle.
14:50You could have put it in a flask.
14:54Woo-hoo!
14:56I love this park.
14:58I forgot.
14:59Anyone want to spin me?
15:03I'd never liked a Christie before.
15:05Paul Walsh wasn't a Christie.
15:07How thin was his tie?
15:08Thin tie was townie.
15:09No, townie was fat tie.
15:11Townie was thin tie.
15:12Him his strength.
15:13Thin tie was gangster, short tie was townie,
15:16burnt tie was Christie and fat tie was ragamuffin.
15:18Either way, he was a rebel.
15:20Yeah.
15:21He wore that earring between lessons.
15:23He was the single most beautiful thing
15:25I'd ever seen in school uniform.
15:27And I prayed to every god in the humanities syllabus
15:30to make me his wife.
15:32Oh, man.
15:33And that time he winked at me at the swimming gala,
15:35I literally bloody swooned.
15:39Evening, ladies.
15:41Hiya, Paul.
15:43I'm sorry I'm late.
15:44The buses are well cacky on Saturdays.
15:46Need you backing singers in, can I know?
15:49Ignore her.
15:50She's pulling her whitey.
15:55Hello.
16:00Nice throw.
16:02What have you got for kids?
16:04She normally goes for strangers.
16:05Too strange, I hope.
16:07Hi, Miss Jax.
16:08Still like your techno, Paul?
16:10Just got some heavy old school Detroit speed beat,
16:13piano lick and break beat.
16:15I've done you a tape.
16:16Oh, tops.
16:18You, uh, planning on dancing later, Gaynor?
16:20Paul Walsh!
16:26Good to see you, Becky Hogg.
16:29Paul Walsh.
16:31Anyway, Gaynor, it's been a long time.
16:36Oh, do you think Gaynor's pretty, Paul?
16:38Mel? Gaynor does.
16:40Gaynor thinks she's well pretty.
16:42Shut up, Mel. No, I don't.
16:43Yes, she does.
16:44It's not like she had a BCG jab on her bum
16:46because she wanted to be a model.
16:47No, I didn't.
16:48Yes, you did. I didn't.
16:49Get your bum out, then.
16:50I don't want to get my bum out.
16:52You have nothing to hide. Get your bum out.
16:54She doesn't have to get her bum out
16:55if she doesn't want to get her bum out.
16:56For God's sake, I was only having a laugh.
16:58Sorry, Paul.
16:59Gaynor, do you want to get your bum out for a laugh?
17:00I don't, Beck, no.
17:02Well, then, Mel, that is her right.
17:04I still see a scar on when she wears cheap leggings.
17:06It's one scar less I'd like to see.
17:15Why don't you show Gaynor the Splash and Play park?
17:17She hasn't seen it.
17:18He's not that good, Paul.
17:20Stay here.
17:22No.
17:24Go and see it.
17:27It's late in the day
17:29I'm talking to you
17:32Hear what I say
17:36So long
17:39So long from me
17:46So...
17:49Gaynor Jacks.
17:52Still into your art and sport?
17:55Not so much, Paul.
17:56No.
17:58It's a shame, Gaynor.
18:01It's a real shame.
18:03I remember the GCSE art exhibition in the gym.
18:08Gaynor Jacks, oil on canvas,
18:12below the basketball hoop.
18:15There's two faces, one black, one white,
18:20both smiling.
18:23I thought to myself,
18:25what's she saying with this?
18:26What's she saying with this?
18:30And I saw below, you painted,
18:34racism is wrong.
18:37And I thought, yeah, racism is wrong.
18:42That's what good art does, Gaynor.
18:44Makes you question.
18:47You made me question.
18:51Were you a racist then, Paul?
18:53No, but next time I met one, Gaynor, I questioned him.
18:57I was going to write racism as shit,
18:59but Miss Coker went mad.
19:01What did you do, Gaynor?
19:03I redone my pastels and called her a Nazi.
19:05I was stupid.
19:06No.
19:08Not stupid.
19:10It was brave.
19:12You always had that fire, Gaynor.
19:15You still do.
19:17Things change, Paul.
19:19But other things remain the same.
19:23To me, you're still dancing.
19:26I see you up here,
19:28my beautiful girl,
19:30standing out from the sea of faces on the dance floor,
19:33free,
19:35lost and happy in her own little world.
19:38And she turns, she sees me.
19:41She smiles.
19:45Gaynor. Yeah?
19:47I'd really like to get off with you.
19:50MUSIC PLAYS
20:02He's coming back to mine.
20:04He missed the last bus back to Kenilworth,
20:06so I thought...
20:08you know...
20:10he's just having a wee.
20:12Aw!
20:14Paul Walsh, eh?
20:16How long have you waited?
20:19You deserve it, bab.
20:22It's going to be so special.
20:25It was for me,
20:27when he took my virginity.
20:29I felt so excited,
20:31but secure.
20:33It felt like...
20:35Like a council-run firework display.
20:37Yeah? Yeah.
20:39It was the same for me.
20:41You know, first time...
20:43Ah! Well nervous.
20:45Afterwards, so relieved.
20:48I just laughed.
20:50You know me.
20:52I'm hardly your hearts and flowers shrinking bloody violet.
20:55But I'll admit I was apprehensive.
20:57That initial sexual experience for a young woman
21:00can have huge implications.
21:02But I'm glad to say,
21:04with Paul,
21:06I felt both desired and empowered.
21:10No feelings of guilt.
21:12No shame.
21:14Afterwards, I shook his hand
21:16and I bought him a beer.
21:18Five stars.
21:20Yeah, five stars.
21:22Six.
21:24I'd have been glad of a follow-up,
21:26but his job was done.
21:28I think he'd be good under next.
21:30Shall we, er, make a move?
21:32I'll wash these at yours.
21:38Look.
21:40Cool runnings.
21:42I thought you might like to, er...
21:44I waited, but your mum's gone up.
21:46It's only a bit in, so...
21:49Mum.
21:51This is Paul.
21:53Paul. Oh, mate.
21:55I washed from school.
21:57Oh, yes.
21:59Thank you for seeing her to the door.
22:01Would you like to step in?
22:03Thanks.
22:07I'm freezing my royal Rastafarian.
22:09Mayonnaise off, yeah.
22:12Quite a movie.
22:14Well, I'll whizz it back while you put the kettle on, Flopsy.
22:17Have you seen it, Paul?
22:19It's, er, Gaiman's favourite.
22:24What's the other one I took you to?
22:26Curly Sue.
22:28Sorry, Paul.
22:30We've, er, lost the doofah.
22:32And if you lose your doofah,
22:34you have to do it like this.
22:37Oh, there's some Dormio on the hob, if you fancy it.
22:40I'll save you a bath.
22:42It doesn't like wriggling about stuff.
22:50Then we might go up to my room, so...
23:00Could you, er, take your shoes off?
23:03I can't.
23:05Take your shoes off.
23:09No, no, actually, Paul, leave yours on.
23:12Just check the bottles.
23:17Clear.
23:19Good. Good lad.
23:36Did I meet your dad before, like at school?
23:39Yeah, he used to come in and out with, er, reading
23:42and woodwork after he was laid off.
23:44Right, yeah.
23:46Sorry, it's a tip.
23:55Right.
23:57Let's do this properly.
24:05Sorry, is that any way?
24:07Bit, yeah.
24:18Do you want to dump that stuff on the floor until the light's out?
24:21Mm.
24:23What are those for?
24:25Yeah, er, couldn't get any rose petals, you know, short notice,
24:28so, er, ran a hole punch over some wrapping paper.
24:31It's only read on one side.
24:33Does the job.
24:35Yeah, well...
24:38Sit there.
24:42I'm sorry.
24:45It's all right.
24:47It's all right.
24:49It's all right.
24:51It's all right.
24:53It's all right.
25:00Do my eyes look nice?
25:02Yeah, they look lovely.
25:05Where's your earring?
25:07Dunno, I must have closed off.
25:09Right.
25:11HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
25:13Oh, God, how does it go?
25:15Erm...
25:18Maybe, maybe it's the clothes we wear
25:21Tasteless bracelets
25:24Dyeing our hair
25:26Maybe it's our cuckoo...
25:32Sorry, it's been ages since I've done this.
25:34You don't have to sing to me.
25:36I want it to be special for you.
25:38It's not my first time.
25:40Yeah, I know, obviously...
25:42Well, not obviously, I mean...
25:46It should have been.
25:51Do you remember this?
25:53Gail?
25:55Of course I do.
26:01Shit, our shoot was that one.
26:13I should have labelled them, but you know what you're like when you're young.
26:16I should have labelled them, but you know what you're like when you're young.
26:19I should have labelled them, but you know what you're like when you're young.
26:27I'm so sorry.
26:33I want you to feel special.
26:35This is what I do.
26:40I did.
26:42It's the best I ever was.
26:44Is it that one?
26:46No.
26:50I was good, wasn't I, Gaina?
26:52I mean, I was brilliant.
27:05Read that.
27:19None...
27:21None of them...
27:23love Paul Walsh...
27:25like...
27:27Sorry, I forgot.
27:37None of them love Paul Walsh like I do.
27:42Nicky Kovac took his coke can from the bin and licked it.
27:46That's not love.
27:48He pretended she got touched at home to get his attention.
27:51That's not love either.
27:53And Lynn Flynn copying his haircut.
27:56That's just odd.
28:02I feel sorry for these non-people.
28:06Bustling through their little lives.
28:09They don't know what love is.
28:14I'd swapped...
28:161,000 grey days of ordinary
28:18for one moment's hard kissing with Paul Walsh.
28:24He means so much to many.
28:28But he means the most to me.
28:30¶¶
28:45¶¶ We're trash
28:47¶¶ You and me
28:49¶¶ We're the litter on the breeze
28:52¶¶ We're the lovers on the street
28:55¶¶ Just trash
28:57¶¶ Me and you
29:00¶¶ It's in everything we do
29:04¶¶ It's in everything we do
29:10¶¶ Oh, baby, baby
29:12¶¶ It's the things we say
29:14¶¶ The words we buy
29:16¶¶ And the music we play
29:19¶¶ We're trash
29:21¶¶ We're the litter on the breeze
29:24¶¶ We're trash