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00:00Excuse me, sir. Can I have a try on one of these?
00:14Oh, come on then.
00:46Nice.
01:09Big train.
01:30Big train.
01:35Hello.
01:38I love London at this time of year.
01:40You what?
01:43Listen, I'm getting a little bored of the party and I wondered if you'd like to share a cab home with me.
01:53I'm sorry?
01:55Right, well, I see you want to be left alone, so good night.
02:01Yeah, go on then, go on.
02:03What's it first?
02:11God, why do I always do that? I'm so lonely.
02:31I'm so lonely.
03:00What is it, darling?
03:06It's the results of my test.
03:08What does it say?
03:10It says I can't find anything wrong with me.
03:12That I'm a new species.
03:18It says I'm a completely new species and I've never come across anything like it before.
03:22Well, how can you be a completely new species?
03:25You must have got the test results mixed up or something.
03:29It happens quite a lot, doesn't it?
03:46It's my test results.
03:48I'm afraid it's very, very bad news.
03:54Look, Jemima, it's a doll. Isn't it lovely?
03:56Yeah.
03:57And, darling, this is for you.
04:00Can I open it, Dad? You know I love opening presents.
04:03Go on, then, Jemima.
04:07OK, give it to me, Jemima.
04:10Isn't it great?
04:12It's got a tiny keyboard and I mean really, really tiny.
04:17Go on and give it a go.
04:22Happy Christmas, you fat-handed twat.
04:35Now, we all know that coming through a traumatic experience can be very, very difficult.
04:40Julie, it's OK. It's OK. It's OK.
04:44Now, primal screen therapy, or PST, can be a very emotional experience.
04:49So if anyone wants to leave...
04:51Why don't you do it now?
04:53James, you look a bit nervous. Do you want to go?
04:55No.
04:56Are you sure?
04:57Yeah?
04:58OK, I want you to close your eyes, first of all,
05:01and feel all the hurt and the pain coming up through you, coming up through you.
05:06Lose those inhibitions.
05:08Let them fly away as you feel the scream rising through you and then let it go.
05:12Let it go.
05:14Shake it away if you want to.
05:16Let it come out.
05:18Come on, James. Come on.
05:42Look at them.
05:44You stupid pricks.
05:47Look at that one.
05:49He's brilliant. Look at that.
05:51You idiots. You stupid idiots.
05:54I hate you so much.
05:57Look at him.
05:59He's brilliant. Look at that.
06:17Look at that.
06:29One thing I've got, I do have a slight problem with stunt double.
06:34Really? It doesn't bother me.
06:36What?
06:37Only in so much as, do you think that you can tell it's another guy?
06:42No, I don't think so.
06:44I think you're aware that it's stunt double.
06:46You weren't aware of the fact that...
06:48Yeah, but can we... Yeah, no, point taken.
06:50Let's have another look at it, though.
06:52OK.
06:53Just whiz back a few frames and...
06:56I think you can.
07:00And freeze.
07:03There.
07:05Do you know what I mean?
07:06This guy's black.
07:08And our actor's white.
07:10Mine's a white guy.
07:12Yeah, but I think that if you...
07:15If you take that bit out and go for another edit now,
07:18you're going to ruin the rhythm of the scene.
07:20It's got a great rhythm now.
07:27Yeah, no, you're right. You're absolutely right.
07:29It's just because I know it's another guy I'm looking for.
07:32OK, let's move on.
07:38Excuse me.
07:40Can you make a photograph of me and my wife, please?
07:43Yes, of course.
07:45This is a latest technology, mini camera from Japan.
07:48Very good, very good.
07:54What is this?
07:56It's a photo.
07:58Oh, it's a photo.
08:00It's a photo.
08:02It's a photo.
08:10There you go.
08:46I deal in nightmares,
08:48and nightmares have to be awfully vivid.
08:51You're very glad when you wake up.
09:07Hello, darling.
09:09Oh, dear, what a place.
09:13Over there.
09:15Look at that.
09:19Anyway, I said to him,
09:21there's no way I'm eating that without Daddy's sauce on.
09:24He said, don't fuck yourself off.
09:26Hello, darling. Hello, darling.
09:34Hello, mate.
09:37Bloody disgrace, isn't it?
09:58You must have imagined it, Bridget.
10:00I tell you, Frank,
10:02there's suddenly something rather menacing about the working class.
10:06You're imagining it, my darling.
10:16Let's just stay calm.
10:18Get to the car.
10:24Do you think they're going to hurt us?
10:28Frank, they frighten me so, the way they stare.
10:30It'll be all right, mate.
10:38Come on, you spurs!
10:56Just look straight ahead, whatever you do.
10:58Don't give them any money.
11:03This is going to need some music over it.
11:05Yeah, I hooked up a track earlier, actually.
11:08The feet are like this.
11:14What do you think?
11:16I don't know. Does it go with the mood of the piece?
11:19OK, I've got another one.
11:21Um, I really like this one.
11:28I think that really works.
11:30It's better. It is better. I'm still not convinced, though.
11:33Right.
11:35Well, I bet you thought of something moodier for this scene, you know?
11:40But maybe you think this isn't right
11:42because you didn't have status quo in your mind
11:46when you imagined the scene, do you know what I mean?
11:49I mean, I think that works really well.
11:51I mean, you're the governor, but...
11:54Yeah, I like it. I like it.
11:56Yeah, let's go with it.
11:58OK.
12:19What a fat-handed twat.
12:21What a fat-handed twat.
12:52Jean and Mademoiselle Pomfrit jouaient au tennis.
12:57Mademoiselle Pomfrit Ă©tait belle, ce jour-lĂ .
13:06Elle n'avait pas encore 20 ans.
13:09Un mois plus tard, elle s'est retournée à l'université.
13:14Je ne l'ai vue pas jusqu'Ă novembre.
13:17Nous avons loué un gßte à Belle-Arne, trÚs haut dans les montagnes.
13:26Je suis parti le lendemain.
13:30Pendant plusieurs années, je n'ai pas vu encore Jean ou Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
13:35J'ai appris du matin qu'ils se sont marrés
13:37et que pour quelque temps, ils avaient habité en Algérie.
13:40Je sais de n'appuyer pas sur mon cĆur brise.
13:43Oui, j'ai appris que Jean Ă©tait mort
13:46pendant qu'il luttait pour les RĂ©publicains en Espagne.
13:55Comme c'est bizarre, la vie, de temps en temps.
13:59Avec ses bonheurs et ses déconvénients.
14:05Je suis parti le lendemain.
14:07Avec ses bonheurs et ses déconvénients.
14:30Mais je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:37Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:40Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:43Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:46Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:49Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:52Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:55Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
14:58Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
15:01Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
15:04Je ne l'oublierai jamais, Mademoiselle Pomfrit.
15:07Oh, what, music-wise?
15:09How about rockin' all over the world?
15:13Studio?
15:14No, no, live version. Much better.
15:16Yeah, no, that's great, yeah.
15:28Well, here we are, and here we are, and here we go
15:32Oh, what, music-wise?
15:34How about rockin' all over the world?
15:37Rockin' all over the world
15:48Oh, my God, my partner!
15:50My partner's falling!
15:56My partner!
16:00My partner!
16:03Well, thank you so much!
16:05Thank you!
16:06You saved my baby!
16:08Fat-handed twat!
16:14Now, it was really very good of you to rescue that baby.
16:19And I am delighted to give you this award.
16:23Thank you very much, sir.
16:24Now, I'm old.
16:26Now, and my hands are very frail.
16:28Could you possibly pin this on yourself?
16:31All right, sir.
16:41You fat-handed f***ing twat!
16:56Gosh, I know he's famously indiscreet, but I mean, really?
17:00Is that your card?
17:01It is.
17:02Yep, show me.
17:04Fantastic, amazing, brilliant.
17:08Hi, guys, can I show you something?
17:10Yes.
17:11Check my thumb.
17:12Wow!
17:13Hold my thumb, hold my thumb.
17:14Okay.
17:15Strong? Is that strong?
17:16Yeah.
17:17Hold my thumb.
17:19Okay, now watch.
17:25Okay.
17:27Oh, my God!
17:30Yeah, he bit his own thumb off.
17:32And he ate it.
17:33And then it was there again.
17:35He bit it off, and then it was there again.
17:37How did he do that?
17:39I don't know, he just swallowed it.
17:40I saw it go down, I saw it go down.
17:42I saw it go down, don't...
17:44Oh!
17:53Oh!
17:54Did you see how he went off? He just went off his nose.
17:58Okay.
17:59It's a ping-pong ball, watch.
18:03I felt sick.
18:05A ping-pong ball just came out of his mouth.
18:07He's doing it again.
18:08Oh, no!
18:13Hi, Mike.
18:14Hi, Rob.
18:15Nick, good to see you back. How was your trip?
18:17Great, thanks.
18:18Good. Nick, this is Helen.
18:20She'll be working with you from now on, so a lot less work for you.
18:23Hello, Helen.
18:24Nice to meet you.
18:25I've got some really good news, actually.
18:27What, are you going to have an operation to fix your crossed eyes?
18:31No, I'm getting married.
18:43LAUGHTER
18:57After the execution of Charles II.
19:00Oh, now, come on.
19:02I thought this was a mature class.
19:06Oliver Cromwell effectively became the most powerful man in Britain.
19:11LAUGHTER
19:14I thought we were going to be responsible adults here.
19:17Now, that could quite easily hit me.
19:19What was that, machine-gun fire?
19:22Yes, sir.
19:23It doesn't only display a lack of respect for me,
19:26it shows a lack of respect for yourselves as well.
19:31I mean it!
19:35LAUGHTER
19:40You're wasting my time, you're wasting your time.
19:42It's a wonder nobody got really badly hurt.
19:46Now, Parliament is the centre of government.
19:49GUNSHOT
19:50Ah!
19:51Ah!
19:52Ah!
19:53Ah!
19:54Ah!
19:56Ah!
20:02GUNSHOT
20:04Oh!
20:05GUNSHOT
20:06LAUGHTER
20:07Oh, God! Detention!
20:10LAUGHTER
20:12We travelled 200 miles upriver.
20:15My mission was to terminate with extreme prejudice Colonel Curt.
20:19But if the generals back in the train could see what I saw,
20:22would they still want me to kill him?
20:25More than ever, probably.
20:27I'd never seen a man so broken up,
20:30ripped apart.
20:32I've seen...
20:34horror.
20:35LAUGHTER
20:39Horror
20:41has a face
20:43and
20:45you must
20:47make a friend
20:49of horror.
20:52Horror
20:54and moral terror
20:56are your friends.
20:58If not,
21:00then
21:02they are enemies to be feared.
21:06LAUGHTER
21:11I
21:14remember
21:16when
21:17I was in
21:19Special Forces.
21:24Seems like a thousand centuries ago.
21:28We
21:30went into a camp to inoculate some children.
21:36And
21:38do you know what we saw?
21:45We saw men going like this.
21:48LAUGHTER
21:50You see that?
21:52How am I doing it?
21:54Beats me.
21:56What about this?
21:58LAUGHTER
22:06LAUGHTER
22:16There he goes.
22:18Have you seen Christopher and Fiona recently?
22:20Well, actually, they're coming tonight.
22:22How is Christopher?
22:23Oh, he's fine. Much better. He's much better.
22:26Geoffrey saw him last week, said he was great.
22:28DOORBELL RINGS
22:29I'll go.
22:31The place looks lovely, Sophie.
22:32Oh, thanks, Colin. We just had it down.
22:34How are you? Welcome. Come in.
22:38Hello, everyone.
22:39Hello.
22:41Can I take your coat, Christopher?
22:44Oh, no.
22:46LAUGHTER
22:47LAUGHTER
22:49LAUGHTER
23:03LAUGHTER
23:08LAUGHTER
23:13LAUGHTER
23:17LAUGHTER
23:23LAUGHTER
23:27LAUGHTER
23:31LAUGHTER
23:37Well, thanks for having us. We'd better be on our way.
23:41Sorry it all ended in a fight.
23:43That's OK, Chris.
23:44Oh, goodbye, you two. Drive safely.
23:48LAUGHTER
23:52I thought you said he was better.
23:56I'll be three days in Shropshire.
23:58Ned Welps will be directing, I'll be producing
24:00and Rachel here will be putting a budget together.
24:03Remind me again what this is for?
24:05Mini-wipes. It's small tissues. Use them in the kitchen.
24:08It's a really basic shoot.
24:10I shouldn't think we're going to run over more than 200,000.
24:13Who's the production secretary?
24:15Er... I hadn't really thought about that.
24:19Do you know Sarah?
24:21She's been doing quite a lot of work with me lately.
24:24She's only 18, but she's very keen and everybody really likes her.
24:28Rob's going to be travelling up on Thursday with...
24:31About the production secretary again.
24:33Is it that important? She's only going to be out answering...
24:36I think it is important, Sue.
24:38There's emails to be answered, tea to be got for people in the production office.
24:42I've had an idea.
24:44What would you think if I said...
24:46Tim Bishop!
24:50Tim Bishop?
24:52Wow, erm...
24:54I haven't heard his name mentioned for a while.
24:57He's very, very good.
24:59I think he went to Scotland when his father died.
25:02Wasn't he working with Seb Hughes when Seb...
25:05Disappeared? Don't hold it against him. A lot of people disappear.
25:09No, I bet he's just up in Scotland
25:12waiting for the phone to ring.
25:18It's frigging rain!
25:20Come on, Rob, it'll be worth it!
25:29Yeah?
25:30Hello, is Tim Bishop in?
25:33Wait a moment.
25:36I said wait a moment.
25:43It's pissing down!
25:45Come on, Rob, think about it. Tim Bishop on the shoot.
25:49He says he'll see you now.
25:51Great.
25:55Sir?
25:57What do you want, Jameson?
25:59You fucking bastard.
26:01A few men and I told you about, sir.
26:06Who the fuck are you?
26:08Er, Tim.
26:09Hi. Nick Whittleby, this is Rob Fisher-Geebs.
26:13I met you last year. You were the production secretary on the Andrax commercial.
26:18Well, yes.
26:20The shit puppies.
26:22Yes, erm...
26:24There's a campaign coming up for, erm...
26:26Mini-wipes.
26:27Mini-wipes. And we were wondering if you'd like to come and be production secretary.
26:31It's next week.
26:32You'll be doing the usual stuff, you know, photocopying, taking emails,
26:36perhaps making a cup of tea for the people in the office.
26:39Do you honestly think I want to go back to that?
26:43It's 80 quid for the weekend, Tim.
26:45Looks like you could do with some new furniture.
26:55Rob, I don't think Tim likes strangers being around.
26:58Why don't you go and stand in the corner for a while?
27:01It won't be a minute.
27:03Thanks.
27:07Come on.
27:24Rob, erm, Tim's had an idea.
27:27Would you mind doing me a small favour?
27:30Swear a favour?
27:37Don't, don't, don't.
27:39Come on, Rob, just do me this favour and we will have Tim as our production secretary.
27:43But the bloody answer...
27:51Relax, Rob. That's right, relax.
27:53Don't be a baby. Keep still, it'll be easier.
27:56Don't be a baby!
27:58Don't be a baby.
28:11Great news, Rob. Tim's on board.
28:15Yeah. Could you get me Bob Samson's file, please? Thank you.
28:19So, have you got Bob Samson's file? I don't know where it is.
28:24Oh, Rachel, a couple of emails.
28:27Bob Samson's is due tomorrow
28:29and Sally has booked the Grey Door for 7.30 on Friday.
28:32That's fantastic. Tim, any chance of a cup of tea?
28:35Sure. Milk and one sugar.
28:38Thanks, Tim. OK.
28:57A grand pomme de terre, monsieur.