Force yourself to be happy#
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00:00Happiness, we all want it, don't we?
00:04But here's the thing.
00:05It doesn't just come to you.
00:07You've got to go after it.
00:08You've got to chase it.
00:09Sometimes you even have to force yourself to be happy.
00:13Now you might be thinking, force myself to be happy.
00:16That sounds strange, but stick with me.
00:19It's one of the most powerful things you can do for yourself.
00:22Happiness isn't just a feeling, it's a choice, it's a skill.
00:26And like any skill, it takes practice.
00:28You wouldn't expect to sit down at a piano for the first time and play like a pro, right?
00:32Of course not.
00:33So why do we think happiness should come without any effort?
00:37Let me share a story.
00:38I once knew a man who seemed to have it all.
00:41Good job, nice house, beautiful family, but he was miserable.
00:46Every day he focused on what was wrong in his life.
00:48His boss was difficult, his kids were noisy, his car wasn't as nice as his neighbors.
00:53And guess what?
00:54His life mirrored his attitude.
00:55He became bitter, angry, and lonely.
00:57Now compare that with a woman I knew.
01:00She had lost her job, her house, and was struggling.
01:04Yet every morning she found something to be grateful for.
01:07Some days it was as simple as having a roof over her head.
01:10Other days it was the smile of a stranger.
01:12And you know what happened?
01:14Her life began to change.
01:16Opportunities came her way and people were drawn to her positive energy.
01:20She climbed out of her troubles and built a new life.
01:22The difference between these two?
01:25Choice.
01:26The choice to find the good even when it's tough.
01:29I'm not saying ignore your problems or pretend everything's perfect.
01:32This is about training your mind to see the positive, to find joy in small things, and
01:36to create happiness even in tough times.
01:39Think of it like this.
01:40Ever been in a bad mood, then someone tells a joke and you laugh?
01:44For that moment you forget your troubles.
01:46That's the power of choosing happiness.
01:48It can change your whole perspective.
01:51But here's the kicker.
01:52You don't have to wait for someone else to make you laugh.
01:54You have the power to create that shift yourself.
01:57And the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.
02:00So how do you force yourself to be happy?
02:04Let me give you a few strategies that have worked for me and countless others I've met
02:07over the years.
02:09First, start your day with gratitude.
02:12Before you even get out of bed, think of three things you're grateful for.
02:17They don't have to be big things.
02:19Maybe you're grateful for the comfortable bed you slept in, the fact that you have a
02:23job to go to, or the coffee waiting for you in the kitchen.
02:27This simple practice sets the tone for your entire day.
02:31Next, smile more.
02:33I know it sounds silly, but here's the thing.
02:36Your body and your mind are connected.
02:38When you smile, even if you don't feel like it, your brain starts to release feel-good
02:43chemicals.
02:44It's like tricking your brain into happiness.
02:47And the best part?
02:49Smiling is contagious.
02:50So start to notice people smiling back at you, which will make you feel even better.
02:54Third, surround yourself with positive people.
02:57You've heard the saying, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time
03:01with.
03:02Well, it's true.
03:04If you're constantly around negative people who complain all the time, guess what?
03:07You'll start to do the same.
03:08But if you surround yourself with positive, uplifting people, their attitude will rub
03:12off on you.
03:13Now, I'm not saying you should ditch all your friends who are going through tough times.
03:18We all have our ups and downs.
03:20But make sure you're also spending time with people who inspire you, make you laugh, and
03:25challenge you to be better, forthset goals, and work towards them.
03:29There's something incredibly satisfying about making progress, no matter how small.
03:34Maybe your goal is to read a book a month, save a certain amount of money, or run a marathon.
03:39Whatever it is, break it down into small, manageable steps.
03:41Each time you complete a step, celebrate it.
03:44This sense of accomplishment will boost your happiness and motivate you to keep going.
03:48Fifth, practice acts of kindness.
03:51When you do something nice for someone else, it not only makes them feel good, but it makes
03:55you feel good, too.
03:57It could be as simple as holding the door open for someone, giving a sincere compliment,
04:00or helping a neighbor carry their groceries.
04:03These small acts of kindness create ripples of positivity that come back to you in ways
04:08you can't even imagine.
04:10Sixth, take care of your physical health.
04:14It's hard to be happy when you're not feeling well physically.
04:17Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating nutritious food, and exercising regularly.
04:23Your body and mind are connected, and when you take care of your body, your mind benefits,
04:27too.
04:28Seventh, learn something new.
04:29Our brains crave novelty and challenge.
04:32When we learn new things, we stimulate our minds and create a sense of growth and progress.
04:37It doesn't matter what you choose to learn, a new language, a musical instrument, how
04:41to cook, or how to code.
04:43The act of learning itself is what's important.
04:46Eighth, practice mindfulness.
04:49This means being present in the moment rather than worrying about the future or dwelling
04:53on the past.
04:55When you're eating, really taste your food.
04:58When you're talking to someone, really listen to what they're saying.
05:02When you're walking outside, notice the trees, the sky, the sounds around you.
05:08This practice of being present can dramatically increase your happiness and reduce stress.
05:13Ninth, reframe negative situations.
05:17When something bad happens, it's easy to get caught up in negative thinking, but what
05:20if you challenge yourself to find something positive in every situation?
05:25Maybe you lost your job, but now you have the opportunity to pursue a career you're
05:28truly passionate about.
05:30Maybe you failed at something, but you learned valuable lessons that will help you succeed
05:35next time.
05:36Tenth, create a happiness ritual.
05:39This could be anything that consistently brings you joy.
05:43Maybe it's taking a relaxing bath every Sunday evening, watching the sunrise with a cup of
05:46coffee or calling a friend every Friday afternoon.
05:50Having these rituals gives you something to look forward to and provides a regular dose
05:54of happiness.
05:56Now I can already hear some of you saying, but Jim, you don't understand.
06:00My life is really tough right now.
06:02I can't just force myself to be happy.
06:04And I get it.
06:05I really do.
06:07Life can be incredibly challenging sometimes, but here's the thing.
06:12Happiness isn't about pretending everything is perfect.
06:15It's about finding moments of joy, even in the midst of difficulty.
06:19Let me tell you another story.
06:20I once met a man diagnosed with a terminal illness.
06:24He had every reason to be angry, bitter, and depressed, but instead he chose to make the
06:28most of the time he had left.
06:30He started crossing things off his bucket list, spending quality time with his loved
06:34ones and spreading joy wherever he went.
06:36He told me, I can't control how much time I have left, but I can control how I spend
06:41that time.
06:43That man taught me more about happiness than any book or seminar ever could.
06:48You see, happiness isn't about your circumstances.
06:52It's about your perspective.
06:54It's about the lens through which you view the world.
06:57And the beautiful thing is you have the power to change that lens.
07:01Now I'm not saying it's easy.
07:03Like any skill, it takes practice.
07:04There will be days when it feels impossible to find anything positive, but those are the
07:09days when it's most important to try.
07:12Because the more you practice looking for the good, the easier it becomes.
07:16And eventually it becomes second nature.
07:17Think about it like this.
07:19Have you ever bought a new car and suddenly you start seeing that same model everywhere?
07:24It's not that there are suddenly more of those cars on the road, it's that your brain is
07:29now tuned to notice them.
07:31The same thing happens when you start practicing happiness.
07:34You start to notice more things to be happy about.
07:37But here's the real deal.
07:39Happiness isn't just about feeling good.
07:41It's about becoming the best version of yourself.
07:44When you're happy, you're more creative, more productive, more resilient.
07:48You're a better friend, a better partner, a better leader.
07:50You're more likely to take risks, to pursue your dreams, to make a positive impact on
07:55the world.
07:56And let me tell you, the world needs more happy people because happy people spread happiness.
08:01They inspire others.
08:03They create positive change.
08:05They make the world a better place.
08:07So how do you start?
08:08Well, it begins with a decision, a decision to take control of your happiness, a decision
08:13to stop waiting for circumstances to make you happy and start creating your own happiness,
08:18a decision to force yourself to be happy even when it feels difficult.
08:22Start small.
08:23Maybe today you decide to smile at every person you meet.
08:27Maybe tomorrow you write down three things you're grateful for.
08:31Maybe the next day you do something kind for a stranger.
08:34These small actions might not seem like much, but they add up.
08:37They create momentum.
08:39They start to rewire your brain to look for the positive.
08:43And here's the amazing thing.
08:44As you start to practice happiness, you'll notice that it becomes easier.
08:48It becomes a habit.
08:50You'll start to automatically look for the good in situations.
08:53You'll start to naturally focus on solutions rather than problems.
08:57You'll start to attract positive people and opportunities into your life.
09:01But remember, this isn't about ignoring reality or pretending everything is perfect.
09:05It's about choosing to focus on what's good, even while acknowledging what's challenging.
09:11It's about finding the lesson in every difficulty, the opportunity in every obstacle.
09:15Think about it like this.
09:17Two people can experience the exact same situation and have completely different reactions.
09:22One person might see a problem and feel overwhelmed and defeated.
09:26Another person might see the same problem and feel excited about the challenge and the
09:30opportunity to grow.
09:33The situation hasn't changed, but their perspective has.
09:37You have the power to choose your perspective, to find joy in the journey, and to create
09:42your own happiness.
09:43Now, I'm not saying you should never feel sad or angry or frustrated.
09:48These emotions are part of the human experience and they serve a purpose.
09:53But what I am saying is that you have more control over your emotional state than you
09:56might think.
09:58You can acknowledge these difficult emotions, process them, and then choose to shift your
10:02focus to something more positive.
10:05It's like exercising a muscle.
10:07The more you do it, the stronger you get.
10:09At first it might feel forced or unnatural, but over time it becomes easier and more automatic.
10:15And here's another powerful thing about forcing yourself to be happy.
10:19It can help you through the toughest times in your life.
10:23When you're facing a challenge or a setback, your habitual happiness can be like a life
10:27raft, keeping you afloat until you reach calmer waters.
10:32I've seen this play out countless times.
10:34People who have developed the habit of happiness are more resilient in the face of adversity.
10:39They bounce back faster from setbacks.
10:42They find solutions where others see only problems.
10:45They inspire those around them to keep going when things get tough.
10:49But let's be clear, this isn't about living in denial or ignoring real problems.
10:53It's about approaching those problems with a positive solution, focused mindset.
10:58It's about believing in your ability to handle whatever life throws at.
11:02It's about knowing that no matter what happens, you have the power to choose your response.
11:09And that's really what this is all about, choice.
11:12Every day, every moment, you have the choice to focus on what's wrong or what's right,
11:18what's missing or what's present, what's challenging or what's possible.
11:22And the choice you make will shape your experience of life.
11:26So I challenge you, make the choice to be happy.
11:31Force yourself if you have to, because the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
11:36And the easier it becomes, the more natural it feels.
11:40The more natural it feels, the more it becomes who you are.
11:43Imagine waking up every morning excited about the day ahead.
11:47Imagine facing challenges with confidence and optimism.
11:50Imagine spreading joy to everyone you meet.
11:53That's the power of choosing happiness.
11:55Now I know some of you might be thinking, but what about when really bad things happen?
12:00How can I force myself to be happy then?
12:02And that's a fair question.
12:04Life can be incredibly difficult, sometimes.
12:09We face loss, disappointment, failure.
12:12But even in these darkest moments, we have a choice.
12:14We can choose to focus on what we've lost, or we can choose to be grateful for what we
12:19still have.
12:21We can choose to be consumed by our pain, or we can choose to learn and grow from it.
12:26We can choose to give up, or we can choose to keep going.
12:30I'm reminded of a story I once heard about a woman who lost her husband and young child
12:34in a tragic accident.
12:36For months, she was consumed by grief.
12:39But one day, she made a decision.
12:42She decided that the best way to honor her loved ones was to live her life to the fullest.
12:47She started charity in their memory, helping other families who had experienced loss.
12:53She forced herself to find purpose in her pain, to create meaning from her tragedy.
12:58Was she happy all the time?
13:00Of course not.
13:01She still had moments of deep sadness and grief.
13:03But by choosing to focus on what she could do, rather than what had been done to her,
13:08she found a way to keep moving forward.
13:10She found a way to create happiness, even in the midst of heartbreak.
13:15That's the power of this choice.
13:17It doesn't mean you'll never feel sad or angry or frustrated.
13:21It means that even when you do feel these things, you have the power to shift your focus,
13:25to find the glimmer of hope in the darkness, to take a step, however small, towards happiness.
13:31And here's something else to consider.
13:33When you force yourself to be happy, you're not just affecting yourself.
13:37You're affecting everyone around you.
13:39Your happiness can be a light in someone else's darkness.
13:42Your smile can brighten someone's day.
13:45Your positive attitude can inspire others to keep going when they feel like giving up.
13:50Think about the people in your life who always seem to be in a good mood, the ones who can
13:54find something to laugh about even on the worst days, the ones who always have an encouraging
13:59word to share.
14:01Don't you feel better just being around them?
14:04That's the kind of person you can become when you make the choice to be happy.
14:09But let's be honest, this isn't always easy.
14:12There will be days when forcing yourself to be happy feels impossible, days when you
14:16just want to pull the covers over your head and hide from the world, and that's okay.
14:21Remember, we're not aiming for perfection here.
14:24We're aiming for progress on those tough days.
14:26Start small.
14:28Maybe you can't force yourself to be happy, but can you force yourself to be grateful
14:32for one tiny thing?
14:34Can you force yourself to smile at one person?
14:37Can you force yourself to take one small action that might make you feel a little better?
14:42Because here's the thing, happiness isn't a destination.
14:45It's not something you achieve and then you're done.
14:48It's a practice.
14:49It's something you choose over and over again, day after day.
14:52And the beautiful thing is the more you practice, the easier it becomes.
14:57It's like building a muscle.
14:58At first it might feel difficult and uncomfortable, but over time it becomes stronger.
15:03It becomes a natural part of who you are.
15:06So how do you build this happiness muscle?
15:08Well, we've talked about some strategies already, but let's dive a little deeper first.
15:14Start your day right.
15:16The first few minutes after you wake up can set the tone for your entire day.
15:20Instead of immediately checking your phone or worrying about all the things you have
15:23to do, take a few moments to set a positive intention for the day.
15:27Maybe you say a prayer of gratitude or do some deep breathing or simply think about
15:31one thing you're looking forward to.
15:34Next, pay attention to your self-talk.
15:37The way you talk to yourself has a huge impact on your happiness.
15:41If you're constantly criticizing yourself or focusing on your flaws, it's going to be
15:46hard to feel happy.
15:48Start catching those negative thoughts and challenging them.
15:51Replace, I can't do this with I'm learning to do this.
15:55Replace I'm not good enough with I'm doing my best and that's enough.
15:59Another powerful strategy is to create a positivity playlist.
16:03This could be a list of songs that always lift your mood or inspiring quotes or funny
16:08videos, whatever makes you feel good.
16:11When you're feeling down, turn to this playlist to give yourself a happiness boost.
16:17Also, make time for things you enjoy.
16:20It's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and forget to do the
16:24things that bring us joy.
16:26Whether it's reading a book, going for a walk in nature, playing with your pet or pursuing
16:30a hobby, make sure you're carving out time for activities that make you happy.
16:34And don't forget the power of human connection.
16:37Spend time with people who lift you up.
16:40Have meaningful conversations, offer support to others, share a laugh with a friend.
16:44These connections are vital for our happiness.
16:47Remember that your physical state affects your mental state.
16:50Exercise regularly, eat foods that make you feel good, get enough sleep, take care of
16:55your body and your mind will thank you.
16:59Another important aspect of forcing yourself to be happy is learning to let go of things
17:03you can't control.
17:05So often we waste energy worrying about things that are completely out of our hands.
17:10Weather, traffic, other people's opinions.
17:13These are all things we can't control, but we can control our response to them.
17:18When you find yourself stressing about something you can't change, take a deep breath and ask
17:22yourself, what can I control in this situation?
17:25Then focus your energy there.
17:28It's also important to celebrate your wins, no matter how small.
17:33Did you get out of bed when you didn't feel like it?
17:35Celebrate that.
17:37Did you make a healthy choice at lunch?
17:40Celebrate that.
17:41Did you handle a difficult situation with celebrate that?
17:45Too often we focus on our failures and overlook our successes, but acknowledging your progress,
17:50however small, can be a powerful happiness booster.
17:53Now let's talk about something that might seem counterintuitive, embracing discomfort.
17:59Sometimes the path to happiness involves doing things that aren't necessarily pleasant in
18:03the moment.
18:04Maybe it's having a difficult conversation you've been avoiding, or pushing yourself
18:08to try something new that scares you, or putting in the hard work to achieve a goal.
18:14These things might not feel good in the moment, but they lead to growth, accomplishment, and
18:20ultimately greater happiness.
18:23Think about it like this.
18:25Have you ever pushed yourself to exercise even when you didn't feel like it?
18:29It might have been uncomfortable during the workout, but how did you feel afterwards?
18:33Probably pretty good, right?
18:35That's because challenging yourself and overcoming obstacles gives you a sense of accomplishment
18:39and boosts your self-esteem.
18:41The same principle applies to other areas of life.
18:44When you force yourself to do the hard things, you build confidence in your ability to handle
18:48challenges.
18:49And that confidence is a key component of happiness.
18:53But here's an important point.
18:55Forcing yourself to be happy doesn't mean ignoring or suppressing negative emotions.
19:00It's about acknowledging those feelings, understanding where they're coming from, and then choosing
19:05to shift your focus to something more positive.
19:08For example, let's say you're feeling frustrated because you made a mistake at work.
19:12Instead of dwelling on that frustration, you might acknowledge it, I'm feeling frustrated
19:16right now and that's okay.
19:18And choose to focus on what you can learn from the mistake and how you can do better
19:22next time.
19:23This ability to reframe situations is a powerful tool in your happiness toolkit.
19:28It's about finding the opportunity in every difficulty, the lesson in every mistake, the
19:33silver lining in every cloud.
19:36And here's something else to consider.
19:38Happiness isn't just about what happens to you.
19:40It's about what you do.
19:41It's about the impact you have on the world around you.
19:45When you force yourself to be happy, you're not just improving your own life, you're improving
19:49the lives of those around you.
19:52Think about it.
19:53Have you ever been in a bad mood and then someone came along with a positive attitude
19:57and turned your day around?
19:59That's the kind of impact you can have when you choose happiness.
20:03You can be that person who lifts others up, who brings light to dark situations, who inspires
20:08others to keep going when things get tough.
20:11This is why forcing yourself to be happy is so powerful.
20:14It's not just about feeling good.
20:16It's about becoming the kind of person who makes the world a better place.
20:20Now I know some of you might be thinking, but isn't it inauthentic to force happiness?
20:25Shouldn't we just be real about how we feel?
20:27And that's a valid question.
20:29But here's the thing.
20:30You're not pretending that everything is perfect or that you never have negative emotions.
20:34You're simply choosing to focus on the positive, to look for the good, to take actions that
20:39increase your happiness.
20:42It's like exercising when you first start working out.
20:44It might feel forced.
20:46You might have to drag yourself to the gym, but over time it becomes a habit.
20:50It becomes part of who you are.
20:53The same thing happens with happiness.
20:55At first it might feel forced, but the more you practice, the more natural it becomes.
21:01And here's another important point.
21:03Forcing yourself to be happy doesn't mean you ignore problems or avoid dealing with
21:07difficult situations.
21:08In fact, it's quite the opposite.
21:11When you approach life with a positive mindset, you're better equipped to handle challenges.
21:16You're more creative in finding solutions.
21:19You're more resilient in the face of setbacks.
21:22Think about some of the most successful people you know.
21:25Chances are they've faced significant challenges and setbacks.
21:29But what sets them apart is their ability to maintain a positive outlook, even in difficult
21:34times.
21:36They force themselves to focus on solutions rather than problems, on opportunities.
21:41This is a skill you can develop too.
21:43It starts with a decision, a decision to take control of your happiness, to stop waiting
21:47for circumstances to make you happy, and to start creating your own joyous.
21:51Now let's talk about some practical ways you can force yourself to be happy in everyday
21:55situations.
21:56Let's say you're stuck in traffic.
21:58Instead of getting frustrated, you could use that time to listen to an audiobook or podcast
22:02that inspires you.
22:04Or you could practice gratitude, thinking about all the things in your life you're thankful
22:08for.
22:09Or maybe you're dealing with a difficult coworker.
22:12Instead of letting their negativity bring you down, you could challenge yourself to
22:15find something positive about them.
22:18Maybe they have a skill you admire, or maybe dealing with them is teaching you patience.
22:22By reframing the situation, you're choosing to create happiness, even in challenging circumstances.
22:28Another powerful strategy is to create a happiness emergency kit, a collection of things that
22:33never fail to lift your mood.
22:36This could include photos that make you smile, a playlist of your favorite upbeat songs,
22:41a book that inspires you, or a list of your proudest accomplishments.
22:46When you're feeling down, you can turn to this kit to give yourself a happiness boost.
22:51Remember that happiness often comes from giving rather than receiving.
22:57When you're feeling low, try doing something kind for someone else.
23:01It could be as simple as giving a sincere compliment, helping a neighbor with a task,
23:06or volunteering for a cause you care about.
23:09These acts of kindness not only make others feel good, but they also increase your own
23:12sense of purpose and happiness.
23:15It's also important to surround yourself with positivity.
23:18This means being mindful of the media you consume, the conversations you engage in,
23:22and the people you spend time with.
23:24Are you constantly watching news that makes you feel hopeless?
23:28Are you spending time with people who always complain?
23:31These things can have a big impact on your mood.
23:34Choose to surround yourself with positivity as much as possible.
23:38Now I want to address something important.
23:40Sometimes forcing yourself to be happy might feel impossible.
23:44You might be dealing with depression, anxiety, or other mental health challenges that make
23:48it extremely difficult to shift your mood.
23:51If that's the case, it's crucial to seek professional help.
23:55There's no shame in talking to a therapist or counselor.
23:58In fact, it's one of the bravest and most positive steps you can take for your well-being.
24:03But for most of us, most of the time, we have more control over our happiness than
24:07we realize.
24:09We have the power to choose.
24:11Our focus, our attitude, our actions, and those choices can radically transform our
24:16lives.
24:18Think about it like this.
24:20Every morning when you wake up, you have a choice.
24:22You can choose to focus on all the things that might go wrong that day, all the things
24:26you're worried about, all the things you don't like about your life.
24:29Or you can choose to focus on the possibilities, the opportunities, the things you're grateful
24:33for.
24:34Which choice do you think will lead to a happier day?
24:36Which choice will make you more likely to seize these opportunities, to overcome challenges,
24:41to enjoy your interactions with others?
24:44The choice is yours.
24:46And it's a choice you make not just once, but over and over again throughout the day.
24:53Every time something doesn't go your way, you have a choice.
24:57Every time you face a challenge, you have a choice.
25:00Every time you interact with another person, you have a choice.
25:04You can choose to let circumstances dictate your happiness, or you can choose to create
25:09your own happiness, regardless of circumstances.
25:13I'm not saying it's easy.
25:15Some days it might feel like the hardest thing in the world.
25:19But remember, we're building a muscle here.
25:21The more you practice choosing happiness, the stronger that muscle gets, the easier
25:26it becomes.
25:27And here's the beautiful thing.
25:28As you get better at choosing happiness, you'll start to notice changes in your life.
25:32You'll find that you're more resilient in the face of challenges.
25:35You'll notice that you're attracting more positive people and opportunities into your
25:38life.
25:40You'll feel more confident, more capable, more alive.
25:42You'll start to see possibilities where before you only saw problems.
25:46You'll start to find solutions where before you only saw obstacles.
25:49You'll start to create the life you want, rather than just accepting the life you have.
25:55And perhaps most importantly, you'll start to have a positive impact on those around
25:59you.
26:00Your happiness will be contagious.
26:02You'll lift others up.
26:04You'll inspire them to choose happiness too.
26:07So I challenge you, make the choice to be happy.
26:10Force yourself if you have to.
26:12Do it not just for yourself, but for all the lives you have.