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00:00:00Rains and holes, and bats and bones, and teenage monsters in haunted homes, a ghost on the
00:00:20Animal spiders creep and crawl, boys and ghouls having a ball, Frankenstein, Dracula and even
00:00:42the mummy are sure to end up in somebody's tummy.
00:01:00Take a fresh rodent, some toadstools and weeds, and add an old owl and the young ones she
00:01:05breeds.
00:01:06Six and seven legs from an eight-legged beast and then you're all set for a cannibal feast.
00:01:28Sit round a fire with this cup of brew, a fiend and a werewolf on each side of you.
00:01:33This cannibal orgy is strange to behold and the maddest story ever told.
00:01:57The Mary Syndrome, so called because it's only known occurrence is among the descendants
00:02:02of one Ebenezer Mary, a progressive age regression beginning about the tenth year and continuing
00:02:08steadily throughout the victim's lifetime.
00:02:11It is believed that eventually the victim of the Mary Syndrome may even regress beyond
00:02:17the pre-natal level, reverting to a pre-human condition of savagery and cannibalism.
00:02:26Many authorities do not accept the existence of the Mary Syndrome.
00:02:32Incredible but true, nevertheless, I know only too well.
00:02:41Of course, there's no Mary Syndrome anymore.
00:02:46It was extinguished forever from the human race that fateful day, ten years ago.
00:03:08Can you tell me where the Mary house is?
00:03:36I said the Mary house.
00:03:42If there is any such place, we don't know anything about it.
00:06:47Anybody home?
00:06:54Anybody home?
00:07:01Please say yes, somebody's home.
00:07:17Hello in there.
00:07:35Hello?
00:07:41Hello?
00:07:45I caught you.
00:07:49I caught you.
00:07:50I caught a big fat bug right in my spider web.
00:07:57And now the spider gets to give the bug a big stink.
00:08:19Virginia!
00:08:22Virginia, are you crazy?
00:08:24Now look what you've done.
00:08:27You're bad, bad.
00:08:30Bruno's going to hate you.
00:08:54Bruno, Bruno, Bruno.
00:09:19Bruno, Bruno, Bruno.
00:09:47Bruno, Bruno, Bruno.
00:10:08Elizabeth?
00:10:10Virginia?
00:10:19Elizabeth?
00:10:21Virginia?
00:10:24Elizabeth?
00:10:34Elizabeth!
00:10:37Bruno, Virginia hurt somebody real bad.
00:10:41You ought to hate her.
00:10:43Elizabeth, how many times have I told you it's not nice to hate?
00:10:53Oh.
00:10:57Oh.
00:10:58Stop it, stop it.
00:11:07One time I gave the ball, and now this.
00:11:16Elizabeth, I trusted you, I left you in charge.
00:11:20It's not my fault, I didn't do it.
00:11:23She did it.
00:11:24She was playing spider.
00:11:26You should hate her.
00:11:28No.
00:11:29I left you in charge.
00:11:32Virginia!
00:11:33Virginia, you come here right now.
00:11:38Ralph!
00:11:39Ralph!
00:11:44Ralph!
00:11:45Ralph!
00:11:46Ralph!
00:11:47Ralph!
00:11:48Ralph!
00:11:49Ralph!
00:11:50Ralph!
00:11:51Ralph!
00:11:52Ralph!
00:11:53Ralph!
00:11:54Ralph!
00:11:55Ralph!
00:11:56Ralph!
00:11:57Ralph!
00:11:58Ralph!
00:11:59Ralph!
00:12:00Ralph!
00:12:01Ralph!
00:12:02Ralph!
00:12:03Ralph!
00:12:04Ralph!
00:12:05Ralph!
00:12:06Ralph!
00:12:07Ralph!
00:12:08Ralph!
00:12:09Ralph!
00:12:10Ralph!
00:12:11Ralph!
00:12:12Ralph!
00:12:13Ralph!
00:12:14Ralph!
00:12:15Ralph!
00:12:16Ralph!
00:12:18Ralph!
00:12:42Virginia, stay there.
00:12:45Sit down. Sit down. You two are listening.
00:12:57Now children, I want to tell you something and I want you to listen very, very carefully.
00:13:05You remember last time when those two children climbed over the wall and Virginia almost caught them in her spider web?
00:13:15Well, that got people to wondering about us and that's bad.
00:13:21Your daddy wouldn't like that, Virginia.
00:13:24Now, I can't be here all the time.
00:13:28You know that I have to take Ralph into the city to the doctor once in a while.
00:13:34And Virginia, you were supposed to mind your sister.
00:13:38You were not supposed to play spider anymore.
00:13:42Now, you never, never can play spider again.
00:13:46Oh, Ralph, what have you got there?
00:13:50Something that man had.
00:13:52Ralph, give it to me. That's it.
00:13:56Thank you, Ralph.
00:14:02This is from a lawyer.
00:14:07Yeah, a lawyer.
00:14:09A lawyer?
00:14:11What is it, little girl? Something bad, isn't it?
00:14:15How many times do I have to tell you just because something isn't good doesn't mean it's bad?
00:14:21Well, isn't it bad? It must be something very bad.
00:14:26Nothing is very bad.
00:14:29It isn't?
00:14:34He's going to come here and bring other people.
00:14:38Daddy wouldn't like that.
00:14:41What other people?
00:14:43They want to make...
00:14:47They want to become your legal guardians.
00:14:52As the only other known surviving heirs of the estate of Titus W. Mary.
00:15:02Isn't that daddy?
00:15:04On the 14th of...
00:15:12Today is the 14th.
00:15:16Now, children, we've got to keep some secrets today.
00:15:33Dad?
00:16:03Dad?
00:16:33What do you want that for?
00:17:03Hurry up. I want to watch Uncle Ned.
00:17:06You're not supposed to.
00:17:11Hey! Look out!
00:17:16I'm coming, Uncle Ned.
00:17:34I'm coming, Aunt Clare.
00:17:37Aunt Martha.
00:17:39I'm coming, Uncle Ned.
00:18:04Really, Emily. I mean, I wish you'd kind of...
00:18:08Peter, if you don't like my driving, you may feel free to take a trolley.
00:18:12Now, wait just a minute. This was not my idea.
00:18:15I've never heard of the Mary family. What is that?
00:18:18They're our cousins, darling. It behooves us to meet them.
00:18:22All right. I mean, you know, all right.
00:18:25But remember that it was not my idea, okay?
00:18:28Of course not, darling.
00:18:29You don't have ideas, baby Peter brother.
00:18:50What in the world makes you think this is the right road?
00:18:53It's got to be.
00:19:00Ha! There, you see?
00:19:15So...
00:19:17this...
00:19:20is it.
00:19:22I don't see any sign of, uh, what's-his-name?
00:19:25Obviously, he hasn't arrived as yet.
00:19:28The caretaker, he probably went to meet him in a horse and buggy.
00:19:44Might as well go on up.
00:19:47I don't think so.
00:19:49I don't think so.
00:19:51I don't think so.
00:19:53Might as well go on up.
00:19:56They'll be along any minute. Why don't we, uh...
00:19:59What's the matter, Peter?
00:20:01Chicken?
00:20:03Well, I just don't think it's, you know, just right to go barging in on somebody that you're about to sue.
00:20:07Oh, just remember, we're trying to avoid that expense.
00:20:11If possible.
00:20:13Well...
00:20:15I'll leave that up to you.
00:20:22I'll leave that up to you.
00:20:52I'll leave that up to you.
00:21:22No!
00:21:43What happened? You saw a ghost, right?
00:21:45Don't be funny!
00:21:46There was a...
00:21:47There was an awful, uh...
00:21:50A baboon!
00:21:52Well, let's not have a complete double-duck fit.
00:22:19Uh-huh.
00:22:43Uh, Mr. Stalker, I think it means that you opened the door for me.
00:22:48Hmm.
00:22:50Yes.
00:22:54What's going on here? Why have we stopped?
00:22:57They're blasting up ahead, sir.
00:22:59They're what?
00:23:03Blasting, sir, for the new highway.
00:23:06Hmm.
00:23:07Better wait it out, I suppose.
00:23:09Yes, sir. They won't be long, sir, Mr. Stalker.
00:23:14The name is Stalker, Mr. Bruno.
00:23:17Oh, please, sir.
00:23:18Uh, Bruno. Just plain Bruno, sir.
00:23:21Oh, very well, Bruno.
00:23:24Uh, I want to tell you I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
00:23:29I wasn't expecting it, frankly.
00:23:33Cooperation, sir?
00:23:35Well, yes, uh...
00:23:37To tell you the truth, uh...
00:23:38I was fully prepared to avail myself of the services of a marshal, should it be necessary.
00:23:44Well, thanks to your cooperation, it isn't, sir.
00:23:47I appreciate that, and I'll do my best to see that you're not forgotten.
00:23:52Forgotten, sir? I don't quite understand.
00:23:56Well, in the disposition of the estate,
00:24:00I firmly believe that so many years of faithful service should not go unrewarded, no matter how ill-advised.
00:24:08Thank you, sir.
00:24:09Now, Bruno, I'd like to ask a few questions, if you don't mind.
00:24:14Very well, sir. Go ahead, sir.
00:24:17Now, it is my understanding that for the past several years,
00:24:22you have been the sole custodian of the three children of the late Titus W. Mary. Is that correct?
00:24:29As you say, sir. For some many years.
00:24:33And that these same three children have never been allowed the benefits of any sort of formal schooling?
00:24:39Oh, no, sir. The master wouldn't have allowed that.
00:24:44And professional medical care?
00:24:46On the contrary, sir. I assure you there have been regular and frequent visits.
00:24:51You mean they're not well?
00:24:53Well, as well as could be expected, sir.
00:24:57You see, they're not ordinary children.
00:25:02Well, I'm sure we can all agree to that, Bruno, but nevertheless...
00:25:05You see, they're... well, you might call them retarded.
00:25:09Retarded? Well, I should think so. Nearly full-grown and never a day of school.
00:25:14Walter, I don't think you understand, Mr. Shocker.
00:25:18I'm afraid you don't understand, my dear fellow.
00:25:21There are properly qualified institutions for the care of the deprived.
00:25:27Especially when there are substantial estates to be administered.
00:25:31Frankly, I find the whole affair rather shocking.
00:25:35I may add there are proper judicial remedies for such abuses.
00:25:45I don't think the master would like this.
00:25:51Come on, buddy. Let's get this car out of here.
00:25:54Yes, sir.
00:25:55Ah, my dear Mr. Shocker. So nice to see you here.
00:25:59I didn't know you were here.
00:26:01I found this old man and I feel like I owe him a lot.
00:26:05Oh, come on.
00:26:06I've got to go.
00:26:07I don't want to do any more work for you.
00:26:09I'm gonna get the car.
00:26:11You can't.
00:26:12I've got to go, sir.
00:26:13I'm going to get the car.
00:26:14I can't let you do it alone.
00:26:16I'm going to get the car.
00:26:17I'm going to get the car.
00:26:18But you've got to go.
00:26:19I'm going to get the car.
00:26:20I'm going to get the car.
00:26:21I'm going to get the car.
00:26:22I've got to go.
00:26:23to see you here. And the young Mr. Howe. Hi, Schlocker, how are you? Good to see you, my boy.
00:26:30Fee, this is my secretary, Miss Morris. Hi, Miss Morris. How do you do? Hi. Forget the rest of it,
00:26:36Schlocker. Let's go in and take a look at the place. Oh, yes. I've been away from the children
00:26:43too long already. You just follow me and I'll show you where to park your machine.
00:26:49But if I may ask a favor, please, please treat the children tactfully. You see,
00:26:55they're not accustomed to strangers and they might act wild if encouraged.
00:27:08Now, ladies, this is your auntie Emily and your uncle Peter. Elizabeth. And Virginia.
00:27:16There's two pretty names for two such pretty young ladies. This is Miss? Ann. Ann.
00:27:24Ralph. Where's Ralph? Ralph. Ralph. Virginia.
00:27:46Ralph.
00:27:52Oh, he's all right, Emily. He's just a big kid. Yes, it's like you say, sir. He's just a big kid.
00:28:04Now, see here, Bruno, you don't seem to realize just how serious all this is. Now, these
00:28:11uh children are obviously in need of qualified professional care, wouldn't you say? Well,
00:28:19there's a great deal in what you say, sir. But I gave their father a solemn oath that I'd never
00:28:25allow their unfortunate malady to become the object of public scrutiny. Nonsense. The days
00:28:32when we hid our insane behind walls of shame went out with with that old car of yours. They're
00:28:38talking about us, Virginia. I know. But Mr. Shocker, an oath to a dying man, that can't be
00:28:46taken lightly. Now, Bruno, what do you mean by malady? I mean, well, I've seen backward kids,
00:28:53is it? Well, no, it's it's it's more than a retardation. It's a sort of a regression,
00:29:01a progressive deterioration of the mental faculties, a rotting of the brain, so to speak.
00:29:07It begins in late childhood and progresses rapidly, ultimately resulting in physical
00:29:16deformity, rather like the last stages of paresis. Really that bad? Yes, sir. The Mary family,
00:29:26or at least this branch of them, have been afflicted for generations. And I'm sorry to say,
00:29:33sir, I I think this is the last generation. What a shame. Bruno, you mean all three of these?
00:29:42Yes, sir. The unfortunate result of inbreeding. Never mind that now, Bruno. We can go into all
00:29:51that at the proper time. Let's see. Yes. I would like to know the whereabouts of certain other
00:29:58members of the Mary family. The two sisters of Titus W. Mary and brother named, I believe,
00:30:06Nedrick Mary, if alive. Alive? Well, you might say so, sir. Come on, Bruno, don't beat around
00:30:17the bush. Are they around or not? They're talking about Uncle Ned. I know. Well, it became necessary
00:30:26to put them in a a more private sort of an institution. My good man, are you saying that you,
00:30:36that the family chauffeur has been in sole charge of this entire estate
00:30:41and these minor children? Oh, I never thought of it that way, sir. You see, I promised the master...
00:30:47Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know all about that. Listen, Schlocker, it's been a long trip. I'd like to get
00:30:52cleaned up and get off my feet for a while. We can go through this after dinner. Dinner? Yes,
00:30:59sir. It is dinner time. Matter of fact, Bruno, we intend to spend the night. Oh, no, sir. That's
00:31:05quite impossible. Why, we're not prepared for guests. There seems to be a difference of opinion
00:31:12as to who is the guest and who the host here. You do have food in the house, don't you?
00:31:23Yes, you see, our diet is very austere. I suppose we could find something.
00:31:32Yes, yes, I suppose we could. Uh-huh.
00:31:47I smell a bug.
00:31:52A big, black, juicy...
00:32:22I'm proud of you, Virginia. You're doing so well.
00:32:40Ralph is ready, Bruno. Oh, thank you, Elizabeth. Bring him right down.
00:32:45My dear, there's no doubt in my mind that we have here an absolutely clear-cut,
00:32:50prima facie, open-and-shut case. Great. Now, all I want to know is what is it worth in dollars,
00:32:56in cents? Well, that's a little difficult to tell at this juncture. Perhaps with an audit.
00:33:04Miss Morse, give me Schedule B. I'll write you, Mr. Schlocker. Of course, this is only the
00:33:08visible part of the iceberg, so to speak. With more information, we can project the curve.
00:33:13Uh... Hey, hi, Ralph. Emily, look at Ralph. He's getting all dressed up for it.
00:33:22Oh, yes, isn't he cute?
00:33:38Ladies and gentlemen, dinner is served.
00:33:53Well, at last. Thank you, Virginia. That was very good, Virginia. Can I feed Winifred now?
00:34:00Winifred? Oh, no, no, not now. Can't she wait? She gets hungry, she'll go looking for something
00:34:07to eat. Oh, in that case, you go right ahead, but hurry up, hurry up. I will, I will.
00:34:17Uh, hungry, Miss Morse? Oh, yes, I'm famished. Shall we, then?
00:34:24Well, uh, there we are. Uh, just sit wherever you like.
00:34:29We're not very formal here at Mary House. We haven't had guests in a long time. No,
00:34:36it's been a long, long time. I might add that it's a great pleasure.
00:34:46You can sit down now, Ralph.
00:34:57Winifred? Winifred?
00:35:06Winifred?
00:35:22Barney, you came back. Naughty Winifred, you didn't tell me. Virginia, we're waiting for you.
00:35:37Sit in your chair, Virginia, please.
00:35:49What is that? Well, that's rabbit, obviously. Not bad, Bruno. Looks done to a turn. Thank you,
00:36:15sir. I hope you enjoy it. You know, we're very fortunate to have meat for our guests.
00:36:21You see, uh, we're vegetarian. Vegetarians? It's dead. We don't eat dead things.
00:36:30But good lord, man, why on earth? The master. Don't say it. You made a promise.
00:36:36It was no idle whim, I assure you. The master knew of the grave danger. The danger?
00:36:42Yes, Bruno. What is that supposed to mean? Well, the master believed and he should know
00:36:49that the eating of flesh would hasten the progress of their condition.
00:36:54Now, I've heard everything. Wait a minute, Bruno. Now, you mean like that old story about the lion
00:36:58cub who's actually tame until he gets his first taste of fresh meat, right? I'm afraid it's even
00:37:03more serious than that, sir. Well, whatever that is, rabbit or whatever, I pass. Well,
00:37:18it looks good to me. Hey, I'll carve. Thank you, sir. Carry on. Oh, and I must tell you all,
00:37:27you have Ralph here to thank for providing it. Is that right? Good for you, Ralph.
00:37:34Well, I'll have something else.
00:37:43Thank you. What do you call these? A rare treat. Our favorite dish. We call it souffled fungi.
00:37:53What? Mushroom, schlocker. Oh, mushrooms. A real staple. They grow profusely on the ground.
00:38:04And did Ralph... Oh, no, no. Virginia provided these. You see,
00:38:10she has an uncanny knack for picking only the non-poisonous one.
00:38:19Come on, schlocker. Let's not hog this stuff.
00:38:29Thank you, Uncle Peter.
00:38:34Thank you, Uncle Peter. Hey, schlocker, you certainly can't say they're not polite.
00:38:46Oh, Miss Howe, if you don't feel up to the heavy affair,
00:38:49perhaps you'd like to try some of our fresh garden greens? Yeah, Emily. Here, try the salad.
00:38:55Here. Allow me.
00:39:06This thing isn't dressed.
00:39:17Isn't Ralph a vegetarian, too? Oh, yes. But Ralph's allowed to eat anything that he catches.
00:39:25Emily, this is very good. You don't know what you're missing.
00:39:46As I told you, our diet is very austere, but it's most healthful.
00:39:51You know, that's great. I think everybody ought to eat like that.
00:39:53Oh, we have our delicacies, too, but they're not in season right now.
00:40:03Oh, no, no, sir. You wouldn't want any of that.
00:40:10Oh, no. I guess not.
00:40:24What do you think about spending the night now, Emily?
00:40:31You couldn't drag me away, Peter. Good show, my dear. I'm with you.
00:40:36Oh, it's like I told you, sir. There's nothing more to say, Bruno. Now,
00:40:42let's make things easy on yourself. We want to be fair.
00:40:45The sisters can move in together, and you and Ralph.
00:40:50Well, we might do that. Oh, no, no. It's quite impossible. It's too dangerous.
00:40:57You see, this is an old building. The wood is rotten. You'd have to know your way about in the dark.
00:41:06Nonsense. The next thing you'll tell us, it's haunted.
00:41:10Oh, no. Nothing like that.
00:41:11He means they're vampires. Oh, yes, and werewolves.
00:41:16Are you a horror film fan, Miss Morse? Oh, yes. I love it. Dracula, Frankenstein.
00:41:21And the mummy? Oh, the mummy. I love the mummy.
00:41:25The way he walks. Step, scrape. Step, scrape. Oh, and the wolfman.
00:41:34There's going to be a full moon tonight.
00:41:41Uh, uh, Mr. Schlocker, I mean, uh, if you don't need me anymore tonight,
00:42:08I could just as well stay in down... There's an inn in the village.
00:42:12Um, as I see it, there are only two rooms anyway. Peter, if you took the car, do you think you could
00:42:19find lodgings for Miss Morse? Yeah, I saw a motel coming in, yeah.
00:42:23Fine, fine. Good idea. Just be sure you have her back on time, young man. Busy day ahead, you know.
00:42:30Don't worry. Thank you, Mr. Howe.
00:42:33Very welcome. Children, some of our guests are
00:42:38going to stay the night. Would you come help me prepare the rooms?
00:42:42Yes, Bruno. Spider!
00:42:52Got it. I hate spiders.
00:42:59We have lots of spiders.
00:43:03Do you like spiders, Mr. Howe? Oh, sure, Virginia. I love spiders.
00:43:09Do you? Would you like to play spider with me? Virginia, sure. I'll play spider with you.
00:43:16Maybe tomorrow? I'm sorry, Mr. Howe, that we couldn't
00:43:20accommodate everyone, but I'll be looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.
00:43:24Me too, Bruno. Thank you very much.
00:43:27Good night, kids. Uh, well, Miss Morse, we should be getting
00:43:31ready to start. I'd like that very much, Mr. Howe.
00:43:46This is the phoniest setup I've ever seen.
00:43:57There is something terribly wrong here, and I intend to find out exactly what it is.
00:44:12Say, it's still early, Miss Morse. Perhaps you'd like to have a drink at that
00:44:17inn in the village that Bruno mentioned? I'd like that very much, Mr. Howe.
00:44:21Oh, and maybe a sandwich, if you don't mind.
00:44:27Virginia. Virginia.
00:44:47Are you going to give Daddy good night? Mm-hmm.
00:44:51Elizabeth, are you scared? Scared of what?
00:44:56You know, those people. I hate them.
00:45:02You're not supposed to hate. You should, too.
00:45:06They don't like spiders. I know.
00:45:12That little man looks just like a big, fat bug, doesn't he?
00:45:18Yes, he does. You know what I'd like to do?
00:45:31Do really lots of fun things, spider. Virginia, you bet.
00:45:48I'm coming to tuck you in, Daddy.
00:46:00Nighty-night, Daddy.
00:46:18Nighty-night.
00:48:18So,
00:49:18so,
00:49:48so,
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