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Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00I had been selected for a most important journey.
00:05I was to help fulfill the destiny of the two great ones, Bill and Ted.
00:10Wild stallions rule!
00:12Whenever time stands still and trouble moves too fast
00:19To save the future, we must learn about the past
00:26Bill and Ted, excellent adventures, most outstanding every day
00:42It's outrageous, so bodacious, help is always on the way
00:49Bill and Ted, excellent adventures, it's a party, that's for sure
00:56Bill and Ted, most excellent adventures
01:01Most triumphant!
01:19Oh, honey, this place looks just lovely here, don't you think?
01:34What? I can't hear you with all that flame racket!
01:37And you said you didn't know how to dance!
01:47Those kids and their music are driving me crazy!
01:57I am Bill S. Preston, Esquire!
02:00And I am Ted Theodore Logan!
02:03And together, we are...
02:06Wild Stallions!
02:17Whoa, dude, what happened?
02:19I don't know, Ted. We've either lost our power, or our hearing.
02:23Ahem, ahem!
02:25Dad!
02:27So, Dad, I imagine you and Missy, I mean Mom, have come to hear some of our most triumphant music.
02:36Actually, Bill, we could hear you boys quite well from the kitchen.
02:40Outstanding!
02:42Are you kidding? This stuff is so loud, people can hear you in Australia!
02:47Excellent, Mike!
02:50You boys better turn this noise down, or you could just find yourselves another place to practice.
02:55You got that?
02:56Yes, Mr. Preston.
03:05Coming, Missy?
03:06Yes, dear!
03:08Bill, your father and I are going to buy a new coffee cup. You boys have fun!
03:16Wow, Bill, your stepmom, Missy, sure is nice.
03:20She sure is, Ted. But I do not think my father understands the importance of volume to fine music.
03:27I mean, how can we attain true melodious splendor unless we are allowed to turn our amps up to the utmost limits?
03:33Good point, Ted.
03:35Oh, man! Your stepmom's brand new antique Chinese vase! Are you in trouble, dude?
03:54Ted, this is indeed a most heinous turn of events.
04:00I am totally depressed that Circle K does not sell antique Chinese vases. I mean, they have everything else.
04:10For sure. Twelve different flavors of Super Freeze.
04:14Yeah, the Cherry Avocado Banana is most outstanding.
04:22My question now is, where can we go to find an antique Chinese vase?
04:26Antique China!
04:32Bogus! There's someone in our time-traveling phone booth.
04:36Hey, dude, get your... Rufus!
04:40Greetings, amigos. No, I don't want anchovies. I'm allergic to the salty little buggers.
04:46It's spelled R-U-F-U-S. Rufus. And make it quick. I'm starving.
04:53Rufus, what are you doing in the here and now?
04:57I just dropped by from the 27th century to deliver your new Circuits of Time phone book.
05:02Excellent!
05:04Check it out, Ted. A similar vase of recent vintage would be most severely cheap.
05:09So while I was here, I thought I'd pick up one of your pizzas. In the 27th century, there's no such thing as thick crust.
05:16Drag.
05:18We would love to hang out and chat, Rufus, but we are on our way to ancient China.
05:23I'm supposed to warn you guys.
05:25Yeah, we know. Don't drink the water.
05:34No, it was something else.
05:39Hey! I said no anchovies!
05:47No!
05:57So this is ancient China.
06:00Looks just like the Epcot Center.
06:02But where is everybody?
06:06Hey, old ancient Asian dude. We thought China was supposed to be totally crowded.
06:10Give us a few hundred years.
06:16Party on, dudes!
06:31Whoa, Bell. Look at all the plates and cups and saucers and stuff.
06:36Of course, Ted. That is why they call this country China.
06:40Greetings, young strangers. I am Dr. Lau. How may I help you boys?
06:45Dr. Dude, we were looking for a vase of some kind with these sort of blue type flowers and these, you know, very definite little squiggly lines all over and like handles on it.
06:54Ah, yes. Our most popular number. Here is the display model.
06:58Perfect!
06:59No! No! Do not touch the floor model!
07:07Nice move, Ted.
07:09Not.
07:10Can we have a bag, please?
07:12Paper, not plastic. We are like two environmentally conscious dudes.
07:18Seize the heathens!
07:21What are you so upset about? This one did not break.
07:29Man, if my dad finds out that I have been sentenced to really hard Chinese labor, he will kill me.
07:35Not to worry, Ted. Your father will not be born for another 600 years.
07:40Oh, good.
07:41Young hoodlums.
07:44How is your task proceeding?
07:47Pretty good, Mr. Mean Guard Dude. My friend speaks the truth. We have almost finished that wall we were so unjustly ordered to build.
07:54To the contrary. Bring on the bricks!
08:06No way!
08:08Yes way, infidels. Any questions?
08:11Yes. How can you zip your pants with such long fingernails?
08:16Well...
08:23That's it, dude. We are finished.
08:27Not bad for a couple days' work.
08:30Well done, young rehabilitated infidels.
08:33So, ugly prison guard, are we like free to go about our business?
08:37Indeed. Here are your clothes, nicely dry-cleaned and pressed, and some money to begin your new lives.
08:44Please, righteous.
08:46Thanks, dude.
08:47What is this strange contraption parked in this tollway zone?
09:07Have you yokels never seen these devices? Come on, let's cram inside.
09:13Now smile, everyone. We get four pictures for a dollar.
09:21Must be broken. The great Kubla Khan will know how to fix it.
09:25To the palace!
09:31Oh, man. I'm too late. I must inform the dudes.
09:37I knew I shouldn't have eaten those anchovies.
09:41Ted, we must find a vase and get back to the booth most promptly.
09:45That is true, Bill. But more importantly, I am most supremely hungry.
09:50Me too, dude. Okay, let's get lunch.
09:56Welcome to Oodles of Noodles. I am Kitten Kaboodles. Would you like some water?
10:03Nah.
10:12Do you have a reservation?
10:14No, I just need to tell my friends about their phone booth.
10:17No reservation, no conversation. Out.
10:27I do not know if you have what I want, but it is my favorite at the Chinese restaurant near our house in San Dimas.
10:33And what would that be?
10:35It's called a number ten.
10:38Oh, our special today.
10:40Excellent!
10:49Fortune cookies! Savory!
10:52Bill, that is dessert. Where are your table manners?
10:59Sorry, dude. I cannot resist these delectable taste treats complete with words of wisdom.
11:04Whoa, Ted, listen to this.
11:06Your phone booth has been towed to the great Kublai Khan.
11:09Confucius says, hustle your butts to his palace pronto.
11:13Man, we had better hurry up and eat our noodles.
11:16But first, I wonder what fortune awaits me.
11:19P.S. Forget the noodles. Your pal, Rufus.
11:25Hey, Miss Noodles Kaboodles, ma'am. Can we get these noodles to-go, please?
11:29To-go?
11:31Yeah, you know, in like little white boxes with funny handles.
11:35I don't follow.
11:36Like this.
11:41Gnarly, dude.
11:43Whoa! We'd better haul our noodles down to that Kublai dude's palace.
11:48Young sir, wait!
11:51With today's special, you get a free vase.
11:55Excellent!
11:58And so, Marco Polo, my good friend, in honor of your 20 years of loyal service,
12:03it is my great pleasure to present you with this magnificently magical device,
12:08which takes four pictures for a mere dollar.
12:11Although it is busted.
12:22You're welcome.
12:28A nice guy, but his singing drives me nuts.
12:39Hey, most honorable young stranger and buddy.
12:42Are you talking to us, sinister and mysterious type dude?
12:45How would you like to win a free trip around the bloody world?
12:49Ted, my easily distracted colleague,
12:51we must make our way to the palace or be stuck in ancient China until it's modern day China.
12:56But all you must do is answer one simple question.
13:00What color is an orange?
13:03An orange?
13:05Most correct. You have won a free trip to Italy.
13:08Outstanding!
13:10By way of Shanghai.
13:12Bogus!
13:26Ted, wake up!
13:28Huh? Where are we, dude?
13:30I do not know.
13:34This is just a guess,
13:36but I would say we are somewhere in the middle of the China Sea, 1295 A.D.
13:40Excellent! A cruise!
13:43Just like...
13:44The Love Boat!
13:48Not!
13:49All right, you idle champs, enough of your gold-breaking!
13:54Shuffleboard!
13:55Outstanding!
13:56Those are mops, you dipstick! Now, get to work!
14:04Bill, I just have one question for you.
14:07What is it, Ted?
14:08What color is an orange?
14:09Ted, you bonehead, its color is the same as its name.
14:12Just like a lemon.
14:13I'm the captain, I'm the captain of the ship,
14:16sailing somewhere in the middle of the China Sea!
14:20Look out for the...
14:22Soap!
14:24Nice earrings, dude.
14:26Yes, but you really should only wear one, dude.
14:35You interrupted the aria for me, Solo Pucci!
14:38No one interrupts Marco Polo!
14:43Marco Polo?
14:45Are you the dude that invented that righteous water sport?
14:48If you ever disturb my singing again,
14:51I'll have your last to remaster for at least half an hour!
14:56Aye, aye, Captain O'Polo!
14:58You boys, you boys, someday you will be fine!
15:07Sailors.
15:09Dude, we are in big trouble.
15:12No kidding?
15:13Out here in the hot sun without any zinc oxide for my nose?
15:18No, Ted, I mean, there goes our phone booth!
15:20To the captain's quarters!
15:22And get out, quick!
15:23Before he starts to sing!
15:27Once we find that phone booth,
15:29we are two excellent compadres in a vase.
15:32To go!
15:33Do not forget the noodles in this handy take-out cart.
15:42There it is, dude.
15:46Be totally quiet!
15:47What?
15:48We do not want to wake Captain O'Polo.
15:50Man, it is truly dark in here.
15:54All right, Ted, my friend.
15:55Punch in the number for San Dimas.
15:57Here goes, Bill.
16:04Morning, Captain.
16:05Awake, awake, and so I am awake,
16:08and you boys are in big trouble now!
16:12Yo-ho, yo-ho, I'm paying the ship for Mr. O'Polo.
16:17It was quite excellent of the most musical captain
16:20to reward us with the task of painting the ship.
16:22Don't you agree, Bill?
16:24Ted, I believe he intended this as a punishment.
16:27Not for me. I like painting.
16:29My grandmother let me paint her van last summer.
16:32Yeah, your grandmother is extremely cool.
16:35Yeah, except she wears too much perfume and likes to hug a lot.
16:39Most unnecessary!
16:45All done, dude!
16:46Think Mr. O'Polo will like it?
16:49My ship, my ship!
16:50You boys have ruined my ship!
16:52This is an act of mutiny!
16:55Uno momento, Mon Capitan.
16:57Back in San Dimas, for custom paint jobs such as that,
17:01one might pay as much as 50 bucks.
17:03Yeah, and we did two coats.
17:06Enough with your foolish talk!
17:08It is time to plank, to walk,
17:10you naughty sailor boys!
17:12Focus!
17:17Whoa!
17:27Missy's face!
17:33Bummer, dude.
17:41Bogus!
17:46Bogus!
17:55Bogus!
18:17Ha ha ha!
18:26Well, it looks as if everything is ready for my birthday feast.
18:34It looks just super, don't it?
18:38Grrr!
18:42Sire, bad news.
18:44Marco Polo's ship has been reported lost at sea.
18:47Ah!
18:48Then he was bringing the rice.
18:51Shoot!
18:52We just happened to serve the potatoes instead.
18:55Don't quote me, sire, but I think we're out of potatoes.
18:58Ah, poop!
18:59Next thing you tell me, the dining hall is flooded.
19:08Dude, you can breathe now.
19:13Thanks, dude.
19:14Marco, you've ruined my lunch.
19:17I'll have your head.
19:19But, sire, I...
19:21Do not blame Captain O'Polo, your hugeness.
19:23It was all, like, our fault.
19:29Whoa!
19:31Whoa!
19:37This burns my brownies.
19:39Twenty years ago, I sent you to China for rice,
19:42and all you bring back is a flounder.
19:45I could have just a...
19:47But your royal dudeness fishes good Brainiac food.
19:50I already have an entree.
19:52I need a starch.
19:54Try these on for size, dude.
20:01Mmm, delicious.
20:03What's it called?
20:05It's called a number ten.
20:07No, that will never do.
20:09Let me think a moment.
20:13I know, it'll just hit me right in the head.
20:23Spaghetti, you bad dog!
20:27Now, what was I saying?
20:31You boys really saved my fanny.
20:34How can I repay you?
20:37Take singing lessons, Mr. O'Polo.
20:40Whoa, Bill, we'd better get back.
20:42His missy mom will be home any minute.
20:44Yeah, I guess we'll just have to return without a vase.
20:47You need a vase?
20:49I got plenty a vase.
20:51Hey, I got them at a noodle shop I visit when in China.
20:57Excellent!
21:00Hair to the right, dude.
21:02I think you should go hair to the left, dude.
21:10One hair too far.
21:12Oh, missy mom is gonna be displeased.
21:15Hello, boys.
21:17Hi, missy. I mean, mom.
21:19Go on, dude. Tell her.
21:22Mom, I got some bad news.
21:25Well, we sort of broke your vase.
21:28But we'll pay for it, Mrs. Preston.
21:31Do you boys have any idea what that vase is worth?
21:36A billion dollars?
21:38No, it was a freebie.
21:41A giveaway at that new restaurant down the street, Oodles of Noodles.
21:46Whoa!
21:48How totally ironic!
21:52Ted, my friend, I have figured out a means by which we can play as loud as we wish
21:56without fear of breaking any more invaluable china.
21:59How is that, Bill, my trusted colleague?
22:02I have plugged our amplifiers into these headphones.
22:05Let's try it, dude.
22:16No!
22:26Big mistake, dude.
22:28Yeah.
22:30But the music was...
22:32Most excellent!
22:45© BF-WATCH TV 2021