Frasier Season 3 Episode 7 The Adventures Of Bad Boy and Dirty Girl (1)
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00:00Previously on Frasier. What is going on? Oh, our beloved station manager decided
00:07we're not getting our raise this year. You intractable despot! Ass! True!
00:14You know, you're in the middle of a negotiation. Maybe she let that smack
00:20ruin you just to rattle your brain. We have got to settle this strike. All right.
00:25Those people deserve a five percent raise. I'll give you three. Four. Done.
00:40Frasier! Damn, I didn't think you'd be here. I would have gone to my regular
00:46haunt, but the pig and swig is closed for remodeling. I'm sorry, Niles, it's just I'm
00:52meeting Kate here. We want to discuss the little dilemma in which we find
00:56ourselves. You're talking about the little kiss you two shared. It hardly
00:59constitutes a dilemma. Not as if you plunged into a tawdry office affair. No.
01:05Then you'd have a real problem. Yes. Kiss is nothing. Right. Had sex with her,
01:13didn't you? I didn't mean to. It just happened. One minute we were negotiating,
01:22next minute our inhibitions were shattered, along with my kneecap and her
01:27Macintosh power book. This happened in her office? Yes. What are you saying? Her
01:36couch folds out? We used her desk. Her desk folds out?
01:45There she is. Look, we'll just make an excuse and go, okay? All right.
01:48Miss Costas. Dr. Crane. Oh, look at the time. I have a session with my multiple
01:54personality. Not to worry, if I'm late he can just talk amongst himself. So, good
02:05morning. Good morning. How's your kneecap? Oh, well, it's better, thanks. And your
02:14laptop? I prefer to your computer. A little dented, but fine. The computer.
02:25Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that, well, last night was one of the
02:31greatest nights of lovemaking I've had since... Roz. Tell me she just walked in.
02:39Well, hi. Guess you guys kissed and made up, huh?
02:44Well, it's in a manner of speaking, yes. We were just discussing the step system in the
02:52new health care plans copayment ceiling and, well, it wouldn't interest you. Oh, the
02:56hell it wouldn't. You know, they're too cheap to pay for a butt lift. Sit on this
03:03thing all day long, that's work-related.
03:08Listen, I really have to go, but I would like to discuss this matter at the first
03:13possible opportunity. So would I. Oh, I almost forgot. I need you two to fill in
03:21the 8 to 10 slot tonight. Floyd, the happy chef, is in rehab again.
03:28Oh, great. I'm supposed to have dinner with a successful handsome doctor. She thinks
03:35we're all as happy to work all night as she is. You're a psychiatrist, Frazier.
03:40She's a cold, repressed workaholic who has no sex life whatsoever. Can't you
03:46help her? I've tried, Ross.
04:01Why do we bother having a service elevator? I just wrote up 19 floors with two sweaty
04:08moving men munching on chili dogs, which they proceeded to drip onto my suede shoes.
04:14How will I ever get that stain out?
04:23Ah, yes. Dog saliva. Nature's miracle solvent.
04:36So who's moving out anyway? Deirdre Sauvage. The one who writes the romance novels.
04:41Yeah, the lost Gabor sister's finally out of here.
04:45She's a very sweet person, and I'm going to miss her.
04:48Yeah, well, you're not the one who's always undressing with her eyes.
04:53She lured me into her apartment one time, supposedly to fix a lamp. Next thing I know,
04:58I've got a drink in my hand, and she's reading me a dirty poem about meadowlarks.
05:04Well, I must admit, she's never done that to me.
05:07Yeah, well, if she does, don't fake a charley horse to get out of there. She'll just try to rub it.
05:17Speaking of romance, Dr. Crane, when I washed your shirt this morning, I couldn't help noticing
05:23lipstick in the oddest places. I take it negotiations went well last night?
05:30Rather not discuss it, thank you. Why, is there a problem?
05:33Things between me and Kate just went a little faster than I intended.
05:37I'll say. There were also four buttons missing and teeth marks in the shoulders.
05:44Thank you, Inspector Moon.
05:50Things got a little out of hand. I think we should slow down a bit, but I'm afraid to tell her
05:56if you're hurting her feelings.
05:58Daphne, how about a woman's perspective? Let's just say, for argument's sake,
06:02that you and I succumbed to a night of passion.
06:08What? You and me?
06:10Yes.
06:12Buttons heaving, shirt buttons catapulting through the air?
06:16It's a hypothetical question.
06:18I'll say it is.
06:20Oh, all right.
06:22Oh, all right.
06:24Somebody else, all right?
06:26So, you have a mad trust with this young man, and then the next day he says that
06:31he thinks things are going too fast. He'd like to slow down. What would you say?
06:36I suppose I'd say, thanks for being honest.
06:40Probably right, we were moving fast.
06:44Not that it was too fast for you last night.
06:48Oh, no, we were right on schedule then, weren't we?
06:52But now you've had your fun, though not too much apparently,
06:56and you want to be my friend. Well, you can just sod off, Trevor Mulgrew!
07:05You know, I think I might have some buttons for this shirt.
07:10You see, Dad, the whole thing's a minefield.
07:14A minefield? Ah, you'll never learn, will you? Handling a woman's easy.
07:20You know, you kill me. Mr. Psychiatrist, you're always going to make everything so complicated.
07:26When a woman comes out too strong, you just tell her to cool her engines.
07:30It's the easiest thing in the world.
07:32Oh, Deirdre, I understand you're leaving us.
07:36Alas, yes.
07:38Oh, do come in.
07:40Thank you.
07:43Hello.
07:49You've been so kind to me. I wanted to give you my new address.
07:53Oh, great. I'd hate to lose touch.
07:57I also wanted to bring you a farewell gift.
08:01My latest novel, Foolish Escapade.
08:04It's the long-awaited sequel to The Rose and the Rapier.
08:10Swell.
08:12I was thinking of you when I created the character of Lorenzo the lovesick gondolier.
08:22How about that?
08:25But hey, where are my manners? Let me show you out.
08:31Oh, by the way, the lock on my suitcase has jammed.
08:36I was hoping that you'd come and tinker with it.
08:40Oh, gee, you know, I'd love to, Deirdre, but I promised Frasier I'd do something with him tonight.
08:46Oh, oh, Dad, didn't I mention it?
08:49I'm filling in for the happy chef tonight, so you're all hers.
08:54Oh, marvelous.
09:00Good night, Lorenzo.
09:06Hello, Polly. How can I help you?
09:08Oh, I'm so glad I got through.
09:10I'm sitting here not knowing what to do.
09:13I find myself lacking a certain spice.
09:16Well, Polly, if you want to shake up your routine, why don't you try something new and dangerous?
09:25Skydiving, belly dancing, perhaps. That ought to add some spice.
09:30What are you talking about?
09:33I'm making an apple tart, and I'm out of cinnamon.
09:38I see.
09:43Listeners, for the fourth time this hour,
09:48I am not the happy chef.
09:52I am the irritated psychiatrist, Dr. Frasier Crane.
10:00We'll be right back after the news.
10:08And while we're on the subject of tarts...
10:14I'm really sorry about that call.
10:17Oh, it's all right, Roz. Why don't you just run along for your date?
10:20I can handle the last ten minutes here.
10:22Are you sure?
10:23Sure.
10:24I mean, I feel terrible leaving you here alone in a lurch.
10:27We are a team, Frasier. You just say the word and I'll stay.
10:30Hey! Hold that elevator!
10:38Got a minute?
10:42Oh, yes. Look, I'm glad you're still here.
10:46Listen...
10:47No, no, no. Me first this time.
10:50Okay.
10:52I really think that we should slow things down.
10:58I'm so glad you said that.
11:01I wanted to say the same thing, but I was afraid that you'd feel I was rejecting you.
11:05Oh, how sensitive.
11:07And yet, at the same time, how full of yourself.
11:18You are one tough nut, lady.
11:22Well, this definitely shows we're doing the right thing.
11:25Agreed.
11:27Agreed. And finally, now that we've got that settled,
11:29do you mind if I ask you a question about last night?
11:31What the hell was that?
11:34I have no idea!
11:37Ever since I've gotten here, you have done nothing but irritate me
11:41like a persistent skin rash.
11:44And you, me. And last night was no different.
11:47You just kept talking and talking and talking,
11:50and I guess that mouth of yours just ticked me off so much,
11:52I just had to have it.
11:56The whole thing. It's just... it's so primitive.
11:59Yeah, yeah. Animal. We were just functioning on instinct.
12:03It's fascinating, really.
12:05Oh, let's not dismiss the element of danger.
12:08All those people outside, they could have walked in any moment and caught us.
12:11That crossed my mind.
12:14For once in my cautious, buttoned-down life,
12:17I felt like a real bad boy.
12:23I felt like a dirty girl.
12:27What did you just call yourself?
12:29I said dirty girl.
12:35You bad boy.
12:39You dirty girl.
12:43You bad boy.
12:47Dirty girl.
12:49Bad boy.
12:51Dirty girl.
12:59How much time do we have left on the news?
13:01Three minutes.
13:03But that's all right. I can play lots of extra commercials.
13:05Oh, good.
13:07In local news, Congressman Robert Gill was accused of accepting bribes
13:11from a waste treatment facility.
13:13As to comment, the congressman said...
13:15Yes! Yes!
13:18I am a bad boy, Einstein.
13:21You dirty girl.
13:23Come to your bed, boy.
13:25You dirty girl.
13:27Come to your bed, boy.
13:29Oh, yes.
13:31Oh, no. Is that thing on air light?
13:33Stop talking.
13:35You must have hit the switch with your elbow while we were...
13:37Stop talking.
13:39It's trying to get dressed while we still have...
13:41Stop talking!
13:55Okay, Fabio.
14:01I want two things.
14:03One.
14:05You will never make another crack
14:07about my sex life.
14:09I don't care if I start dating
14:11a lumber camp.
14:15Done.
14:17Two.
14:19Who's dirty girl?
14:21You dirty girl.
14:23Who's dirty girl?
14:25I can't tell you that.
14:27Oh, come on, Frasier.
14:29I swear I won't tell a soul.
14:33Yes?
14:35Not yet. I'll call you back.
14:40Doc?
14:42I got one thing to say to you.
14:44Go ahead.
14:46Take your best shot.
14:48I'm so proud of you, man.
14:53Doesn't that
14:55just put the cherry on the parfait?
14:57Come on.
14:59You gotta tell me.
15:01Who's the mystery chick?
15:03Bulldog, haven't you already seen?
15:05I've told half a dozen reporters
15:07that I am not going to name names.
15:09Don't you see this right here?
15:11I won't think,
15:13says Kinky Shrink.
15:19Good afternoon, Dr. Crane.
15:22Ms. Costas.
15:24Hey, hey, you're the boss.
15:26Make him tell who his playmate was.
15:28Bulldog,
15:30this is really none of your business.
15:32Oh, but we got a pool going.
15:34So far. How many sunrise?
15:36What?
15:38Oh, well, thank you, but I think I have
15:40a little more self-respect than to have
15:42a quickie with a co-worker
15:44on the air.
15:48What kind of slut
15:50do you think I am?
15:52Dr. Crane,
15:54could I have a word with you in private?
15:56I'd love that,
15:58but I've got my show in two minutes.
16:00Actually, you don't.
16:02What?
16:04I'm suspending you for a week.
16:06Bulldog, you're going on.
16:08Roz, you'll have to produce.
16:10All right.
16:16I must say,
16:18you're harsh, all things considered.
16:20Yes, I can see how you might feel
16:22that way, but the station
16:24does have certain standards
16:26and it is my job to enforce them.
16:28Now, if you will excuse me,
16:30I have to meet with one of last night's sponsors,
16:32the Wholesome Family
16:34Cookie Company.
16:36Hey!
16:38Turn those lights out!
16:40Why?
16:42Deirdre hasn't finished moving yet.
16:48If she sees a light in here,
16:50she'll know I'm home.
16:52You can see her living room
16:54from her bedroom.
16:56Her bedroom?
16:58She had me cornered in there yesterday.
17:00I don't mind telling you,
17:02but if you don't mind,
17:04I don't mind telling you,
17:06I haven't been that scared since Korea.
17:12Don't worry, Dad.
17:14Look, I have no intention of letting anyone in here tonight.
17:18There'll be a tabloid news
17:20crew down in the lobby.
17:22I'll just go in the back way and use the service
17:24elevator.
17:26Say, I tuned into your show tonight.
17:28Why weren't you on it?
17:31If you must know,
17:33I've been suspended for a week.
17:35Oh, no!
17:37Spent the last three hours
17:39at the observation deck of the Space Needle
17:41looking down
17:43on a city that's looking down on me.
17:48Hello, Dr. Crane.
17:50Daphne,
17:52I'm not here.
17:54Yes, your father's not here either.
17:56It's so nice having a whole house
17:58to myself.
18:01Daphne?
18:03Oh, how lovely.
18:05Now the whole family's not here.
18:10I listened to your program
18:12as I was driving home last night.
18:14Here's a bill
18:16to replace the front grill of my Mercedes
18:18and a second to replace the back bumper
18:20of some wretched little domestic car.
18:24Go easy on your brother, Miles.
18:26He's had a rough day.
18:28You're right, Dad.
18:30Frazier, please
18:32accept my apologies.
18:34I can imagine how trying
18:36this must have been for you.
18:38Thanks, Miles.
18:40Of course, it's been no picnic
18:42for those of us who share your name.
18:47My Maris took it particularly hard
18:49when I left this morning.
18:51She was ordering
18:53new stationery with an accent aigu
18:55over the E in our name.
18:57Hereafter
18:59her memos will read
19:01from the desk of Maris Cranay.
19:11Who is it?
19:13Kate Casterson.
19:15Wait! Wait! All right, all of you.
19:17You know nothing about last night.
19:21Hello.
19:23Come in.
19:25You know Niles, of course.
19:27This is my father, Martin.
19:29And his health care worker, Daphne.
19:31Kate Casterson.
19:33Nice to meet you.
19:35I'm sorry if I'm coming at a bad time.
19:37Oh, no, no.
19:39We were just taking Eddie for a walk.
19:41Eddie!
19:43I have to be running along, too.
19:45Oh, what's on your chin?
19:47Have you been in the garbage again?
19:49You bad boy.
19:55So,
19:57nice place.
19:59Whoa!
20:01What a view!
20:03Yes.
20:05I'll be enjoying it
20:07during my suspension.
20:09Well,
20:11I guess that concludes
20:13the small-talk portion
20:15of our evening.
20:17Well,
20:19I guess that concludes
20:21the small-talk portion
20:23of our evening.
20:25Look, it must be obvious
20:27I've come here to apologize.
20:29Oh, really?
20:31For what?
20:33Turning on me when I went out of my wedding
20:35to protect you?
20:37You know, we're both responsible for this.
20:39Yet I end up looking like an idiot
20:41and you look like a no-nonsense boss.
20:43All right, all right.
20:45Just tell me what I can do
20:47to make this right.
20:49Nothing!
20:52I'm tired.
20:54That's pretty good.
20:56Look,
20:58there's no way we can rewrite the past.
21:00It happened.
21:02We did it.
21:04It's on tape.
21:06But we can do this.
21:08We can prevent it from ever happening again.
21:10Agreed.
21:12Obviously, there's
21:14some kind of incredible traction
21:16between us.
21:18The trick will be simply to avoid the opportunity.
21:20We're intelligent
21:24and we're alone in this apartment.
21:26I'll get my bag.
21:28Yes.
21:30Oh, Kate, Kate,
21:32that news crew's probably still
21:34in the lobby. Let me walk you
21:36to the service elevator and see what...
21:42Going down?
21:44No, you guys go ahead.
21:46Just send it back up.
21:50Yes,
21:52well, I'm sure if we
21:54really try, we can keep things on
21:56professional footing.
21:58We're too mature adults.
22:00Just have to avoid all undue
22:02temptation.
22:08What's going on?
22:10I don't know.
22:12Hello?
22:14Oh, it's a little light.
22:16Hello?
22:18Hello?
22:20Can anybody hear me?
22:22Hello?
22:24Yeah, what's going on?
22:26Looks like you're stuck.
22:28Same thing happened this morning.
22:30Took about a half an hour to fix.
22:32You two guys gonna be okay?
22:34Yeah, yeah, we're fine.
22:36We're adults. We're mature adults.
22:48It's getting sort of hot
22:50in here, isn't it?
22:52Yeah, it's a bit hot.
22:54You don't mind if I take off
22:56my jacket, do you?
22:58Makes no difference to me.
23:06Oh.
23:08Oh.
23:10Oh.
23:12Oh.
23:14Oh.
23:16Oh.
23:18Looks like we're gonna be here
23:20for a little while.
23:22Might as well try to make ourselves comfortable.
23:26Maybe there's some chairs in here.
23:30Ah, here we are.
23:32Just have to move this down a little bit.
23:40What's that?
23:42I must have knocked open a music
23:44box in here somewhere.
23:48I'm not really in the mood
23:50for music. Could you stop that, please?
23:52Yes, yes, I'll try.
23:56God, it's hot in here.
24:00What's that smell?
24:02I seem to have broken a bottle or something.
24:08Moss coil.
24:11Where is that
24:13damn music box?
24:17Here it is.
24:19I really think
24:21that it would be a very good thing
24:23if you just did something about that moss coil.
24:25Yes, all right.
24:27How about...
24:29Oh, I know. Hand me that drop
24:31off there and maybe I can just smother it.
24:33Who lives in this building?
24:38You know,
24:40I think we can just forego
24:42the moss coil right now.
24:44Why don't you just cover that back up?
24:46No, no, no, no, no.
24:48I'm not gonna touch this thing again.
24:50Look at me. I'm all dirty.
24:52Oh, stop, stop, stop.
24:55You're right.
25:07We have
25:09gained
25:11a lot of
25:13time.
25:15We have
25:17gained
25:19a lot of
25:21time.
25:23Gazed into the gaping
25:25maw of temptation
25:27and survived.
25:29My God,
25:31I'm proud of us.
25:33I am too.
25:40Of course the
25:42cable could break.
25:46We'd be kicking
25:48ourselves all the way down.
25:50Yes.
26:17Good night, Dr. Crane.
26:20Miss Costas.
26:32Hey, baby, I hear the blues
26:34are calling, tossed salads
26:36and scrambled eggs.
26:38Oh, my.
26:40And maybe I seem
26:42a bit confused. Well, maybe.
26:44But I got you
26:46pegged.
26:48But I don't know
26:50what to do with those tossed salads
26:52and scrambled eggs.
26:56They're calling again.
26:58Good night,
27:00Seattle. We love you.