Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00And that's how you play Wordle.
00:10Oh, my God.
00:11I feel so...
00:12Hi, you guys.
00:13I'm Rachel Feinstein.
00:14I'm filling in for Hanifah, so...
00:16If you have any, like, tips on how to, like, judge the parties and, um...
00:22Hanifah would never wear that.
00:25No, this is, like, my before outfit.
00:27I...
00:28No, uh, she has nice things.
00:29Oh, no.
00:30Rachel, you see what I brought?
00:31It's, like, very high-end.
00:32I'll...
00:33I'll be wowing them.
00:34Weird.
00:35Yeah, uh, Hanifah would never say that.
00:40You know what?
00:41They were right about you.
00:42They said you were toxic twats, and you are.
00:44Yeah.
00:45Eat glass.
00:46Eat glass, twats.
00:47Oh, my God.
00:48Hanifah would say that.
00:50You're gonna be perfect.
00:51Welcome.
00:52Oh, my God.
00:53Come in.
00:54Thank you.
00:55I'm, like, weirdly obsessed with both of you.
00:56Too close.
00:57Yeah, that's a little too close.
00:58Perfect.
00:59♪ Come join our parties, the living room side ♪
01:04♪ Where two teams of drag queens compete for the prize ♪
01:09♪ Who will be the winner? ♪
01:13♪ Drag me to dinner. ♪
01:18Hello, friends, family, and chosen family.
01:20I'm your host, Murray Hill,
01:22and I'm wearing 40 pairs of Spanx right now.
01:24And if you don't know what Spanx are,
01:26they're condoms for chubby people.
01:28Tonight, two teams of your favorite drag queens
01:30will go head-to-head to throw dragtastic theme parties
01:34for our judges.
01:35The judges will be focusing on design and decor,
01:38food and drink, and entertainment and overall vibes
01:42to decide which team is greater.
01:44So let's meet tonight's teams.
01:49Hey, y'all. My name is Simone.
01:50I am a drag queen extraordinaire.
01:53Hey, everyone. It's Gigi Goode,
01:55model, mogul, magician.
01:57I'm just here to f*** you up.
02:03Hey, what's up? This is Ray LaTrey,
02:05drag's baddest bitch,
02:06and I'm your favorite West Coast bitch.
02:08Come to meet the East.
02:10Hello, my dear subjects.
02:11This is your queen, Jasmine Rice, LaBeija from the...
02:18Hill House of LaBeija here in New York City.
02:21And I don't even know what that means.
02:24The root of this is having fun and looking a fool,
02:26but also looking head-to-toe.
02:28Sample size.
02:32We have to turn this out hardcore
02:34because these West Coast bitches I have known forever.
02:38So you know their weaknesses.
02:40Uh-huh.
02:41See if it's why I teamed up with her.
02:44Come on out, ladies.
02:49Ladies, show yourselves.
02:57Wow.
03:03Oh, beautiful.
03:04A familiar face.
03:06You look gorgeous.
03:07Thank you.
03:08Now, Gigi, what do you want to accomplish tonight?
03:12I kind of just want to, like,
03:13successfully turn on a stove for the first time.
03:16Okay. Are you from New York?
03:18Absolutely not.
03:19Absolutely not.
03:20Absolutely not.
03:21Absolutely not.
03:22All right, well, I hope that you can reach your goal tonight
03:24of turning on a stove.
03:27All right, Jasmine, what's important to you
03:29when you're throwing a dinner party?
03:30That I have the medium and stop
03:32because you don't know when I cook
03:34what's going to give you the run, okay?
03:36All right, I can't wait to eat that and run.
03:38I haven't had any exercise all week.
03:42Thanks for laughing at that. I appreciate it.
03:44And, of course, no dinner party would be complete
03:46without a fantastic theme.
03:48And here to reveal tonight's,
03:50welcome expert and the life of the party,
03:52David Burka.
03:54Hey!
03:56Oh!
03:57Cowabunga, dude!
04:00She's ready for vacation.
04:02Hey, Murray.
04:03Well, hello, ladies.
04:05Hey, David.
04:06Hey.
04:07I hope you all applied sunscreen,
04:09and I'm sure you can find some shade
04:11because tonight's theme...
04:15is beach blanket bingo.
04:17Oh!
04:18Yes, yes.
04:19This genre showcased beach parties
04:22that had style, romance,
04:23and, of course, hunky surfers.
04:25Well, bring your A game
04:27because the judges will be looking for
04:29food and drink, design and decor,
04:31and entertainment and overall vibe.
04:34So I can't wait to see you ride that culinary wave.
04:37And your cuisine should follow suit.
04:39Bright and spiked summer-style beverages.
04:41Think picnic fare like grilled hamburgers
04:44or maybe a new take on a hot dog or cookie bars.
04:48And if you feel like you need a helping hand,
04:50don't worry.
04:51You'll have a handy helper to assist.
04:53Oh, my God.
04:55Okay, queens, you heard the man.
04:57Now's your chance to really impress our judges
05:00because if you do,
05:01you'll take home a hefty haul of prizes
05:04like these.
05:05A baby bottle full of babies.
05:07A nut sack.
05:09Tuck tape.
05:10Bidet Davis.
05:11A bathtub of butter.
05:13Oh, Dehairy Styles.
05:1555 gallons of lube.
05:17A high five from Bianca Del Rio herself.
05:19All the crackers you can carry.
05:21And the grandest prize of them all.
05:24The glorious golden grater.
05:27Because one team is great,
05:29but the other is greater.
05:32Come on!
05:34Queens, are you ready to get this party started?
05:37Yes, ma'am!
05:38Start the clock and release the queens!
05:41Oh!
05:42Have fun.
05:43You have 90 minutes to finish the challenge.
05:45Bravo, Gigi, bravo!
05:47Serve the rice be all you can eat.
05:51All right.
05:53All right.
05:54All right.
05:55What is that?
05:56Now I'm ready.
06:00It's salt.
06:01It's salt.
06:02From a beam.
06:03Yeah, what are we doing?
06:04Are we cooking?
06:05We're cooking.
06:06We're decorating.
06:07We're vibing.
06:08Oh.
06:09Okay, wait, so...
06:11Beach, blanket, beam, home.
06:14So beach, blanket, bingo
06:16was a very popular theme in the 1960s.
06:20All of these really famous movies
06:22of surfer kids on the beach having a fun picnic party.
06:26To our Malibu dream house.
06:29On the beach?
06:30Yeah, that's cute.
06:31I think that's cute.
06:32I feel like that's, yeah.
06:33Oh, chic.
06:35Feeling very spacey.
06:36I'm looking very spacey right now,
06:38which is crazy.
06:39So, bitch, why don't we do this on Mars?
06:43The bitch out of this planet.
06:45Let's do it.
06:46Teleport me to Mars!
06:48Damn!
06:49The space is giving a blanche.
06:52Gigi Goode and Simone are so hot right now.
06:56In the fashion world,
06:57they're hitting the runways of Paris, New York, Fashion Week.
07:01Everything's just, like, neutral.
07:03I know.
07:04It's really great to see drag queens
07:06crossing over to mainstream.
07:08Like, pink, pink, pink, pink,
07:09like, pink everything, all pink.
07:11Pink, pink, pink, pink.
07:12Because it's Mars, we see planets.
07:14Like, blue light kind of a moment, like neon.
07:17Purple light.
07:19Rhea and Jasmine.
07:20Rhea auditioned for American Idol the second season,
07:23so she's a singer.
07:24Anything, like, crazy object
07:25that you wouldn't find at a beach party,
07:28we should bring it.
07:29Jasmine was a Juilliard girl.
07:32Yes, Juilliard grad.
07:34What?
07:35For opera performance.
07:36You know what I love?
07:37Cheese.
07:38You know what I love?
07:39Cake.
07:40Cheese, cake.
07:42And then you know what?
07:43We should color it.
07:44I have never done that.
07:45So we're gonna do some burgers.
07:46Super easy on a grill.
07:48It seems very beachy to me.
07:49French fries!
07:50Well, I'm infamous for my margaritas.
07:54Shut up.
07:56Tequila-based.
07:57You know what?
07:58I don't drink, but I do swallow,
07:59and I love a slushie.
08:00So let's do a slushie.
08:01Ooh, I love slushies.
08:03You think of Malibu, you think of the rich,
08:05the frou-frou, the oui-oui.
08:06The decor and everything is...
08:09But then the food is trailer Arkansas.
08:13Oh, bring it back.
08:14Backwards, yes.
08:15Bring it back to the roots.
08:16Bring it back to the roots.
08:17Like, we're barbecuing, or we're...
08:18We're barbecue burgers.
08:19We got hot dogs, coleslaw.
08:22Like, a pink noodle.
08:23Pink mac and cheese.
08:25You know those pickles when they have them in alcohol?
08:27At the truck stop?
08:28A truck stop.
08:29A truck stop pickle.
08:30A truck stop pickle.
08:32And I personally think we should put some
08:34pink lemonade margaritas in there.
08:37Oh, my God, we're going to be so...
08:38We're going to be...
08:40And so will them.
08:41Gorgeous.
08:43I brought decor.
08:44I think we got enough stuff.
08:46Yeah, yeah.
08:47With all that work, I'm going to need a little break.
08:49Yeah, hurry.
08:52I feel like we need a helper, Rayya.
08:59We're doing a beach party in Mars.
09:03Do you know where Mars is?
09:05Thank God, you are pretty.
09:07Such a clumsy girl.
09:09Right over here with that.
09:11Come on up in here, Rayya.
09:13That's kind of chic.
09:14Wow.
09:15Gorgeous.
09:16How festive.
09:17I can't believe that was just laying
09:18on the side of the road for us.
09:19Imagine.
09:20Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
09:21I'm using it.
09:25Is it going to be a while?
09:26Because I just need to...
09:27No, it's not going to be that long, Neal.
09:28It's just...
09:29I'm cooking something.
09:30It's going to take a second.
09:31All right?
09:32Bianca, this is taking forever.
09:33A second.
09:35What is that?
09:36It's a wig, Neal.
09:37It's a wig.
09:44Ladies, one hour to go.
09:49Two seconds to go.
09:50You said 90 minutes.
09:51Inside the pool.
09:52In that time, you will need to complete
09:53your food and drinks, add decor to your room,
09:56and get ready to entertain the judges.
09:58The clock is ticking, so grab your beach balls
10:01and get to it.
10:03So, I think we should do drinks first.
10:05You know I have a trick.
10:06For any good dinner party, darling,
10:08all you got to do is whisper your intentions
10:09into the drink, like so.
10:11Tonight, me and my sister will look fabulous,
10:14and no one will have to be rolled out the front door.
10:19Full throttle.
10:20Is it on?
10:23It says on, the on button.
10:24Oh, we're on.
10:26Unplug it.
10:27Oh.
10:29Yeah, yeah.
10:35Wow.
10:36We are chefs.
10:38Should I just pour this in it?
10:42Yeah.
10:43You suck on a pickle, you get a little...
10:45Two shots of vodka.
10:46Generous pour.
10:47Generous, generous, generous.
10:48I cannot wait to try that.
10:50It's good.
10:51It's good.
10:52It's good.
10:53I cannot wait to try that.
10:55Well, we have to do the mac and cheese.
10:57Okay, we got it to a boil.
10:58No, we didn't.
10:59That's a boil.
11:00Is it boiling?
11:01I don't know.
11:02Are you boiling?
11:03It's saying back the f*** up, bitch.
11:04Your hair is going to deflate if you get too close.
11:06Put an elbow in it.
11:11How do we melt butter?
11:13I'm the fire angel.
11:14Oh.
11:20Condensed milk.
11:21Is that condensed milk?
11:22It's regular milk.
11:23I don't know.
11:24I don't even know it.
11:25Let's just move this around.
11:27Are you kidding?
11:28Bitch, that wasn't condensed milk.
11:30This is condensed milk.
11:31You know what?
11:32I like a double load.
11:33Oh, bitch, this has got to be liquidy as f***.
11:35Nine inch springform pan.
11:37Nine inch?
11:38Here, you look for the nine inches, and I'll do this.
11:40Okay, Gustavo.
11:44Now, let's fold in the macaroni.
11:48There's more water in there than macaroni, but we're good.
11:51Oh.
11:53I was supposed to drain the water before.
11:56Oh.
11:57Macaroni's about to be real runny, sis.
11:59It's good.
12:01This is the new mac and cheese.
12:02Yeah.
12:04Look, it's pressed.
12:05It's fabulous.
12:06Look at that.
12:07That is so nasty.
12:09No, it is fabulous.
12:12I'm going to make some burgers.
12:15We have tie-dye burgers.
12:16Shut up.
12:17What in the mold is this?
12:19What in the mold is this?
12:20And I am living.
12:21I lost a nail.
12:22I hope it's not in a burger.
12:23All right, Queens.
12:24I got a trivia question.
12:30The first team to shout out the correct answer
12:33will get an extra hand from our resident expert, David Berka.
12:38And the other team will get some tips from sous chef, David's aunt.
12:43Queens, are you ready for the question?
12:44Yes!
12:45Yes!
12:47What is the biggest ocean in the world?
12:51Atlantic.
12:52I said it first.
12:53I said Atlantic.
12:54No, no, no.
12:55What did you say?
12:56I said Atlantic.
12:57She did.
12:58She's wrong.
12:59She's probably wrong.
13:00Oh.
13:01I don't remember that.
13:04It's time to get a special tip from David.
13:07You're doing this tie-dye cake, right?
13:08Yeah.
13:09Okay, so you put both cream cheese in.
13:10There's two in there.
13:11That's a third.
13:12They added milk.
13:13It needs to be thicker.
13:14Oh.
13:15Do one more.
13:16That's a lot of dairy.
13:17Why don't we do five different colors?
13:19Okay.
13:20Add your food coloring.
13:21Just a couple drops per.
13:23I'll mix it.
13:24Yeah, mix it up.
13:26Oh, wow.
13:27That's amazing.
13:28Ah!
13:29That's really pretty, sis.
13:30Yum!
13:31This is the blue.
13:32You want it blue?
13:33You're going to add these in as layers.
13:35You're going to take a toothpick or a fork or a knife or something
13:38and swirl them all together.
13:39And make the swirls.
13:41Okay, guys.
13:42I believe in you.
13:43You're going to do awesome.
13:44I'll see you at the party, all right?
13:45Thank you, David.
13:46You bet.
13:47All the best.
13:48Arigato.
13:49Never fear, sous chef is here.
13:51Uh-oh, it's sous chef.
13:54You want to try out the mac and cheese?
13:56It looks really watery.
13:58I feel like it looks exactly how it's meant to look.
14:00Let's put some salt in it.
14:02This looks like a salt dispenser.
14:03I got it.
14:04That's pepper.
14:05Okay.
14:06Oh, that's more salt.
14:07It's going to be salty.
14:08Let me chop your lettuce.
14:11Who the hell is that?
14:13I can't find my glasses.
14:14My eyes are going to broke.
14:15I love the pats, though, actually.
14:19Break it out.
14:20Break it out.
14:21Break her out, baby.
14:22Break her out, baby.
14:23Bye, sous, baby.
14:24Tell your nieces I said hello.
14:26Queens, just five minutes to go.
14:29What are we doing?
14:30Oh, my God.
14:31Scents.
14:33Oh!
14:34Turn the hot dogs.
14:36Flip those a little bit.
14:37You got to put glitter on top.
14:39Yeah.
14:40You know what?
14:41I like it crisp on the outside.
14:44We have to win this thing.
14:47We're winning.
14:48Where do you keep buns in a kitchen?
14:50Gustavo!
14:52Queens, you must be inside your dining room
14:54when the curtains are closed.
14:56All right.
14:57Why are you running?
14:58Is there a timer?
14:59And they are closing in 30 seconds.
15:02Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
15:04Where's the microwave?
15:05Oh, my God.
15:06There's something in your mask.
15:07Oh, my God.
15:08We need buns!
15:12Oh!
15:13Oh, my God.
15:14No!
15:15Is this edible?
15:16Where's the pickle juice?
15:17Oh, my God.
15:18Something is closing.
15:19Get the tequila.
15:20Get the tequila.
15:21The french fries.
15:22You got the french fries.
15:23Get the hot grill.
15:24Seven.
15:25Six.
15:26Where's the mayo?
15:27Five.
15:28Got the cheese grater.
15:29Four.
15:30Ow!
15:31Three.
15:32The pickle juice.
15:33Two.
15:34One.
15:35No!
15:36Time's up.
15:38Woo!
15:39My poor ass.
15:40You're dead.
15:41What a chess show.
15:42Wow, that was wild.
15:44Time for these queens to grab their SPF
15:46and get ready to impress the judges.
15:48You know what time it is.
15:49Let's party!
15:56Drag me to dinner!
15:59You're watching Drag Me to Dinner on Hulu,
16:02the show that makes you say,
16:04We're about to head to our first beach blanket bing-ho party.
16:08But before we do, let's meet our judges.
16:11Tonight we have a special guest judger,
16:13comedian, actress, and my pal, Rachel Feinstein.
16:18Thank you.
16:19Welcome to the party, Rachel.
16:20Oh, thank you.
16:21I come from a long line of partiers.
16:23My great-grandmother, she threw an impeccable soiree.
16:26She used to say,
16:27It's not a party unless there's blowin' hookers.
16:29All right, you're gonna fit in just great.
16:32Our next judger should be wearing a mask.
16:34Not because of COVID, because she's ugly.
16:37Bianca Del Rio!
16:39Oh, Murray!
16:41That was rude.
16:42I didn't, you wrote that.
16:43Oh, yeah.
16:45Awkward.
16:47And our final judger is a father, a husband,
16:50and he risks his life every day eating questionable cooking.
16:54It's Neil Patrick Harris!
16:56Thanks, Murray.
16:57I'm so excited for this show's theme
16:59that I even put on my SPF.
17:01Thank you so much, Neil.
17:02All right, now go meet David backstage.
17:04Come on, we'll see you in a minute.
17:05Get out of here.
17:06Come on, get out of here.
17:07I'll show you around.
17:08I know.
17:09Now it's time to see what our queens
17:11have in store for the judgers.
17:13This is Gigi Goode and Simone in Malibu Barbecue.
17:20This hurricane is crazy.
17:22Isn't it crazy?
17:23Oh, my God.
17:25Is it almost dinner time?
17:26Is it?
17:27Wind stop.
17:31Take a look at this.
17:33Look at what we done did.
17:35Who's here?
17:36Who's here?
17:37Who's here?
17:38Who's here?
17:39Who's here?
17:40Who's here?
17:41Who's here?
17:42Who's here?
17:43Who's here?
17:44Who's here?
17:45Who's here?
17:46Who's here?
17:47Who's here?
17:48Who's here?
17:49What are we going to do?
17:50Oh, God.
17:51Oh, my goodness.
17:52Welcome to our home.
17:54Welcome.
17:55Oh, my gosh.
17:56I'm so happy to have you.
17:58I'm so happy to see you.
18:00Thank you all so much for coming to our beach dinner.
18:05Don't make me hit the table.
18:10So I don't know if you're familiar with the cuisine.
18:12Yeah, we've prepared a lovely meal for you all.
18:15So, baby.
18:16You got it?
18:17You got it?
18:18You got it?
18:19Yeah.
18:20Help the baby.
18:21You got it?
18:22Yeah, I'm good.
18:23Oh, dear.
18:24Don't worry about me.
18:25Oh, okay.
18:26So on the end here we have burgers.
18:27Uh-huh.
18:28Then we have some hot dogs.
18:29Yeah.
18:30Mustard on a pink bun.
18:31Hey.
18:32So it's nice and cozy in there.
18:33Wow.
18:34And then we have mac and cheese.
18:35Pink mac and cheese.
18:36Oh.
18:37Y'all ever heard of a truck stop pickle?
18:38Hey.
18:39No, I've had a pickle at a truck stop.
18:40But it was...
18:41What kind of a pickle?
18:42Keep going.
18:43We'll talk.
18:44Uh-huh.
18:46Might have been related.
18:47Might have had a sister.
18:48I gotta try this pink mac and cheese.
18:49Oh, yeah.
18:50We should try everything.
18:51Thank you.
18:52Let's go ahead and pass out some drinks.
18:53This is the pink lemonade margarita.
18:54Oh, yes.
18:55Oh, my goodness.
18:56It's a textural sensory experience.
18:57I got it.
18:58You say these are...
18:59Can you explain the truck stop pickle?
19:00They're the truck stop pickles.
19:01Yes, please.
19:02There's a pickle soaked in tequila.
19:03Oh.
19:04Oh.
19:05Yes.
19:06Simone, I dare you to try one of these truck stop pickles.
19:07Oh.
19:08Oh.
19:09Oh.
19:10Oh.
19:11Oh.
19:12Oh.
19:13Oh.
19:15Do you dare me to try one of these truck stop pickles?
19:16You gon' dare me double doc?
19:17Triple doc.
19:18Triple G, baby.
19:20It's not bad.
19:21Nope.
19:22Uh-huh.
19:23Don't you dare.
19:24Full throttle.
19:25You gotta smell it.
19:26Lick it.
19:27Oh, my stars.
19:28Oh, dear.
19:29Oh, dear.
19:30Oh, my goodness.
19:31Look at the technique.
19:32Usually I phone it in, but not anymore.
19:35That's good.
19:37I'm so glad you could all make it to our dinner, I'm just thrilled.
19:41Barely planning it for weeks.
19:42I just want to thank God for making this all possible.
19:45Speaking of God, Simone, do you mind saying grace?
19:48Oh, I'm so sorry.
19:50Oh, we jumped the gun.
19:52As a Jew, I would be honored.
19:54All right, everybody bow your heads.
19:55Okay, okay.
19:57Our father, hallowed be thy name.
20:02Thy kingdom come, thy will be done
20:05between these titties and between this ass.
20:08Hallelujah.
20:10Thank you.
20:11Hallelujah.
20:12May I just ask a question?
20:14Who is this handsome gentleman behind you?
20:17Oh, please, she's been asked that question countless times.
20:20Manny, Manny.
20:21I do get that a lot, but not this time.
20:23He keeps saying no.
20:25This is the newest edition, limited edition toy radio doll.
20:32He's here at your disposal.
20:34Ladies, I must say this food is delicious,
20:36and I loved your explanation of everything,
20:38but there's one bowl here that I don't quite understand.
20:41Is that chips?
20:42No, baby, this is the game bowl.
20:44So this game is real simple, y'all.
20:45Sorry.
20:46You have a word on the thing
20:47that you're trying to describe,
20:48but you can only use one word to describe the word, okay?
20:53All right, who should go first?
20:54All right, who wants to go first?
20:55I do, I do.
20:56Okay, you go. You pick a word.
20:59Oh, I'm doing it with you?
21:02Okay, okay, okay, okay.
21:03Yeah, occasionally you have to.
21:05You're married.
21:06What is that?
21:09I bet they don't know how it works.
21:12This is a tough one.
21:13Okay, okay.
21:14Parcel.
21:17What is that?
21:18Is this a known word?
21:19Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
21:22Stamp?
21:24Oh, no, it was package.
21:27Parcel, not postage.
21:29All right, your turn.
21:30Your turn.
21:32Oh, my goodness.
21:34Okay, here we go.
21:35All right.
21:37Schlom.
21:40Schlom.
21:41Schlom.
21:44Wiener.
21:45Oh!
21:46What was it?
21:47Sausage.
21:48Oh!
21:49We don't say schlom.
21:50You said it on that?
21:51I said breakfast.
21:52You have to try one more round.
21:53Somebody got to win this game.
21:55Oh, oh, oh.
21:56Not the burger.
21:57Not the burger.
21:59Here we go.
22:00Give me a minute to think.
22:01Okay.
22:02Stop looking at me.
22:04I can't help it.
22:05I have to hold this.
22:06I'm so sorry.
22:07I'll give you a few seconds to think for Gigi and Simone.
22:09Oh, no, that's so embarrassing.
22:11It's the boobs.
22:12The silicone is leaking.
22:13It's the Arkansas River in this bitch.
22:14It's migrating.
22:15I did.
22:18Fantastic.
22:19Thank you.
22:20Stand by.
22:21I'm gonna, I'm gonna try.
22:22And action.
22:25All right, sis, I'm ready.
22:28Job.
22:29I'm gonna take a sip.
22:31Job.
22:32Wet the whistle.
22:33Mm-hmm.
22:34I know you have it.
22:35I think it's gonna be blow for 200 Alex.
22:41Oh!
22:42Yay!
22:44You guys are amazing.
22:45So bad.
22:46Brilliant.
22:47All right, y'all.
22:48I think that calls for another round.
22:50Let's get the girls together.
22:51Yeah.
22:52Oh, we get another drink?
22:53Yes, we need another drink.
22:54Some of them are a little empty.
22:55We need another drink.
22:56I could use another drink.
22:57I feel like maybe you need another drink.
22:59Oh, my.
23:00Oh!
23:01Oh!
23:02Oh, my.
23:03Oh, my God.
23:05Oh, my God.
23:06Oh, my God.
23:07Oh, my God.
23:08Oh, my God.
23:09Oh, my God.
23:10Oh, my God.
23:11Oh, my God.
23:12Oh, my God.
23:13Oh, my God.
23:14Oh, my God.
23:15Oh, my God.
23:16Oh, my God.
23:17That was titillating.
23:19Boobs.
23:20Boobs.
23:21Yay!
23:22The next part is coming right up.
23:26Drag me to dinner.
23:29Bye-bye.
23:30Thank you.
23:31Wait, how much time before the next part?
23:33About eight and a half seconds.
23:35Magic of television, watch.
23:37Wait, wait, wait, wait.
23:38Not this again.
23:39No.
23:40Let's just walk.
23:42You know, that was the breast part of yet.
23:45You guys, can we just, like, call a car?
23:47I'm, like, actively drunk.
23:48Oh, look, look, look.
23:49We're almost there.
23:51Magic of television.
23:52Let's go.
23:54What the?
23:55I'm going to be in the pictures.
23:58It's time for tonight's second dinner party,
24:01starring Rayo Latreille and Jasmine Rice LaBeija
24:05in Queens In Space.
24:18Oh, girl.
24:19Girl, this looks incredible.
24:21Do we have everything together?
24:22I think so.
24:25Gustavo.
24:26Gustavo, you know what to do.
24:27Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
24:30Hate to see you leave, but watch a walk away.
24:34Hello.
24:35Oh, wow.
24:37Welcome.
24:39This is out of this world.
24:41We knew you were just at a beach party.
24:44So this time, we're going to Mars, baby.
24:46OK.
24:47These rings breathe oxygen up to your face
24:50so we're able to be here on Mars.
24:53But where do we sit?
24:54Sit right in front here.
24:55All right.
24:56Right here?
24:57Just like on Earth.
24:58The food here is exactly the same,
25:00except it's a little bit crazy of a color.
25:02French fries.
25:03Take some French fries, children.
25:05Yum, yum, yum.
25:06These are amazing, these fries.
25:07How did they get this color?
25:09They're fermented.
25:12They're fermented.
25:15We also have red pineapples.
25:18Wow.
25:19That's cute.
25:21It's a huge balance.
25:22It's a delicacy here.
25:24Blue.
25:25Will there be an anal probe?
25:27After dinner.
25:28That's dessert.
25:29Oh.
25:30We also have sickening cocktails.
25:33Oh.
25:34Are you guys thirsty?
25:35Yeah.
25:36It's hot here.
25:37On Mars, we need to hydrate.
25:38Hydration is very important.
25:40Hydrate before you gyrate.
25:42What do you want to know what that means?
25:44And this is the infamous margarita.
25:47Is it tequila?
25:49It's tequila.
25:50We also have a mocktail.
25:52Mm-hmm.
25:53I'm driving the spaceship home.
25:55He's our designated piece of hot ass.
25:58Goodness.
25:59Jazz, tell them about the burgers.
26:01They are burgers.
26:03Did you make them yourself?
26:07I made them.
26:08She didn't do shit.
26:09I made them.
26:10That is not true.
26:11You didn't do nothing with the burgers.
26:12I was there.
26:13Well, it looks like hostility is alive and well here on Mars.
26:16Well, you know.
26:17Oh, yes.
26:19Do anyone of you guys want to try the burger?
26:21Gustavo.
26:22Yes.
26:23Can you ba-ba-ba-ba?
26:24Thank you.
26:25Oh, you guys speak a new language.
26:27Yeah.
26:28Can we hear it again?
26:29Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
26:30And what does that mean?
26:32You don't want to know.
26:33Oh, it's naughty.
26:35I love Mars.
26:36I love these little gay pride burgers.
26:38Ooh.
26:39Oh, um, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
26:43Ta-da-da-da.
26:44Oh.
26:46Let's not do that for sound.
26:47Sorry.
26:48It's probably better that we don't do that.
26:50Sorry.
26:51Are you nervous, Bianca?
26:52Why are you so finicky?
26:53You're nervous?
26:54This must be the only place with an arena
26:56you haven't sold out.
26:57Wow.
26:59Ooh, let's do a toast.
27:00Let's do our first cheers on Mars.
27:02Rayya, do it.
27:03Do it.
27:05Cheers.
27:07Well said.
27:08What is this in front of us?
27:10This is the main course.
27:11This is cheesecake.
27:14This is the main course?
27:15It's Mars.
27:16This is actually the pie that the Founding Fathers ate
27:18right before they wrote the Declaration of Independence.
27:20It was right.
27:21The Mars Declaration of Independence?
27:23Yeah.
27:24It's a pie.
27:25It's a pie.
27:26It's a pie.
27:27It's a pie.
27:28It's a pie.
27:29It's a pie.
27:30It's a pie.
27:31It's a pie.
27:32It's a pie.
27:33It's a pie.
27:34Huh?
27:35Exactly.
27:36Tell us a little bit about the history
27:37of Mars' independence.
27:38Well, the main thing about Mars was
27:40they wanted a place where the whores could rest.
27:42They love desserts as main courses.
27:43Am I wrong?
27:45Yes, and I'm so glad you brought that up.
27:47Thank you.
27:48Julia Child, she is my daughter's godmother.
27:52So she taught me how to bake.
27:54And I was, look, I didn't make this cake,
27:57but I was consulted at every step.
27:59This is a perfect segue, you guys.
28:01somebody save me.
28:03What's this about our main course?
28:05Well, it's made of cheese.
28:08Cream cheese, condensed milk,
28:11graham crackers, lemon juice,
28:15vanilla extract.
28:16Boom.
28:17Bam, we did that.
28:18Gustavo, can you...
28:20Thank you.
28:21I'll take a double helping of your pie, Gustavo.
28:24Oh, wow, that's runny.
28:26It looks absolutely awful.
28:29It's delicious, though.
28:31It's a mess, like the Mars Constitution.
28:37What is that?
28:39It's the main course!
28:41It had dairy!
28:42Oh, no!
28:43It's a meteor shower!
28:45Oh!
28:46It's showtime!
28:49Stick it in!
28:51Stick it in?
28:56Cigarro!
29:00Welcome to the space.
29:01The queen's have come to show your face.
29:03Tiny waist, padded ass, that's your lip.
29:04Shake it fast, high five, wick fit.
29:06Don't you know this?
29:07Dragging you to dinner on the prime time.
29:09Jazz and Ray are in the spotlight.
29:11Are you ready?
29:12Cause I'm spittin' bars.
29:13Now shake that ass on the beach and Mars.
29:15Oh!
29:28Yeah!
29:29Wow!
29:30Yes!
29:32I told you Mercury was in retrograde.
29:35I annihilated this chair.
29:38Two parties, one winner.
29:40Find out who next.
29:43Drag me to dinner.
29:47Let's get judgy.
29:49Okay, kids, you went to some wild parties tonight.
29:52Our first party was from Gigi and Simone.
29:54Neil, did you have fun at the party?
29:56I walked into this party and I thought,
29:58I'm not sure about this.
30:00I saw these ginormous boobs.
30:04I mean hooters, but with 47 Os.
30:08Like, hooters.
30:11The sound guys kept having to go in and adjust their mics.
30:14The game that we played is a party game we play at our actual house.
30:18I thought the fact that everything was pink was cute,
30:22but kind of the food wasn't delicious.
30:25I don't know if it lived up to my expectations.
30:28Their signature dish was a pink mac and cheese.
30:31The macaroni was very mushy and there wasn't much cheese.
30:35It was a lot of sauce.
30:37A truck stop pickle, not so great to me.
30:40It might be a southern delicacy.
30:42What was it like when they were there cooking?
30:45We heard Gigi say, how do you know when the water's boiling?
30:48Well, to be fair, that's a tricky question.
30:51It is a tricky question.
30:54Was it a one-hit wonder? Was it a two-tip wonder?
30:57I don't know.
31:00Two-tip wonder, I said. Our kids are here.
31:03They're embarrassed as usual.
31:06Oh, they're taking the kids.
31:09Hold, hold. Get the kids out of here.
31:12Get Neil and David's twins out of here.
31:14All right, Rachel, what did you think of the Malibu party?
31:17It was fascinating. A hostile amount of cleavage.
31:20I'll say it like it. It was hostile.
31:22The Malibu salad was radioactive.
31:25I didn't expect as much chemicals.
31:28It was a cocktail of chemicals, and I learned some things.
31:31I don't know what they were. I'm too s***-faced.
31:34Welcome to the show. Oh, Rachel's my kind of gal.
31:37Bianca, you are a fashion icon in Palm Springs.
31:41I'm also young in Palm Springs.
31:45Were you able to connect with their personalities?
31:49Listen, I was a little distracted, I'm not gonna lie,
31:52because I walked in the room, and there were two boobs,
31:55David and Neil, and in it, I thought,
31:58I want to see these tits together.
32:01And let's be real, Barbie, Malibu, party, barbecue,
32:05this was all we needed.
32:07All right, we were at a beach party,
32:09and then we saw the queens in space
32:12with Rhea and Jasmine.
32:14I thought that the entertainment
32:17was Crazy Mars Bizarre.
32:21We had a classical operatic soprano
32:26singing high notes,
32:28while another queen was rapping
32:31old-school 80s rap style.
32:34I wasn't expecting a lot,
32:36and I wound up enjoying it a lot more than I thought.
32:38The little gay rainbow fries, delicious.
32:40I enjoyed it. I gotta say, it was better than I expected.
32:43All right, David, we saw a lot of spaced-out alien food.
32:47Did you like it? What'd you think?
32:49The main course was the burgers and the french fries.
32:52Their signature dish of making the cheesecake
32:55fell a little flat.
32:57I was with them, or Sue was with them.
33:00No, I was with them.
33:02Oh, my God, it's almost like you're acting
33:04like you have different personalities.
33:06I was with them when they were doing the cheesecake,
33:09and instead of putting in the second cookie,
33:12they put in the second container of cream cheese they put in milk.
33:16So that's why it didn't set.
33:18Let me tell you, that pie,
33:20I would slam that in my face all over again.
33:22Look, they took us somewhere, you know, uh...
33:25Someplace that you learned a lot about yourself.
33:28There was a low-grade depression to that cheesecake.
33:30All right, let's be honest. I felt soiled somehow.
33:33All right, gang, well, you went to Malibu,
33:35and you went to Mars.
33:37Where do you think you're gonna land now?
33:40Hollywood.
33:42Not with this gig.
33:44Oh, my God.
33:46Went to Nipa back?
33:48You know what, Mary, I don't know.
33:50We're out of time.
33:52F*** off now. Audiobook is talking back.
33:54Here we go.
33:56Oh, my God, we're actually finally about to find out
33:58who won!
34:00What a night.
34:02Ladies, thank you for throwing fake dinner parties.
34:04I cannot believe we traveled
34:06from a fake beach to fake Mars
34:08in just one hour.
34:10Truly a miracle.
34:12Oh, isn't it?
34:14And now, the queens who threw the grooviest
34:16dinner party of the night are...
34:18♪♪♪♪♪
34:20♪♪♪♪♪
34:22♪♪♪♪♪
34:24♪♪♪♪♪
34:26Gigi and Simone!
34:28Oh!
34:30Oh!
34:32Okay.
34:34Oh!
34:36Now, recount.
34:38Recount.
34:40Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it.
34:42Don't worry about it.
34:44Congratulations, queens. You worked hard for the win,
34:46and it paid off.
34:48You're leaving with the glorious golden
34:50graters.
34:52Wow.
34:54How does it feel?
34:56Oh, my God. Boobalicious.
34:58And how do you feel?
35:00Extra large.
35:02Now, it's time to head to our exclusive press tent
35:04where a group of millennials are standing
35:06by with their phones.
35:08All right, ladies, beat it.
35:10Millennials. Let's go.
35:12Millennials.
35:14Ladies.
35:16We took you to Mars.
35:18Do you know how expensive that trip was?
35:20All right, well, ladies, I know I can't change the outcome,
35:22but I can help you bring sand to your own beach.
35:24That's right.
35:26Your handy helper is in your dining room
35:28waiting to play with you.
35:30Go ahead, ladies. Enjoy.
35:32Let me play with your bag.
35:36Thank you for joining our beach party tonight.
35:38I've been your host, Murray Hill.
35:40It's been an out-of-sight night.
35:42Now get out of my sight.
35:44Good night.