Fake.2024.S01e05
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00You
00:06Get a grand suite if you like
00:08If you use your credit card, I don't have a credit card. I refuse to pay the bloody bank fees
00:14You thought I wouldn't be able to pay for dinner. Didn't you?
00:18I'm sorry. I doubted you is Joe's unreliability a spur to your anxiety
00:25Well, could your anxiety?
00:28Be turning the small things into drugs
00:31Joe we were waiting for you. I mean I was I was really worried. Look, I'm sorry
00:35I was saving a boy's life. You weren't at the front of my mind. I'm sorry. I have to admit it sounds simplistic
00:41You just might have to trust John
00:44I'm sorry, but you haven't met his kids yet. You haven't been to his place
00:47It's like you're his dirty little secret or something. Are your friends making you feel bad again?
00:51He does like you and yes, he's invited you to his wedding. Where's the five details?
00:58I only met your mum briefly, but you're all she wanted to talk about. I just don't know why I trusted her
01:05Stories were like these perfect little three-act plays
01:08The old Toronto, it's a grand old house on just over a hundred acres prime grazing land
01:14Maybe you can write a review of it when I buy it thought I'd show you another property first
01:19Jacaranda
01:20Just in case the deal for El Dorado falls over. Yeah, I couldn't care less if you have money or not
01:25Are you playing me?
01:31Oh my god, Joe
01:34What is this?
01:35Well, didn't I say it was grand?
01:38It's a beautiful property Percy. Thank you. Would you mind if I show Bertie the main bedroom?
01:42Why didn't you tell me it was like this? I have a
01:47Disgusting amount of money. I only care about you
01:52Now when I start worrying I just tell myself
01:56Everything's fine
02:05Around the country Sydney 29 degrees and cloudy
02:09Brisbane a top of 31 and mostly sunny Perth 32 also sunny Adelaide 20 and rain in the afternoon
02:17Hobart has a maximum of 23 and partly cloudy
02:20Canberra 27 and also partly cloudy
02:23Darwin 30 degrees rain and a possible storm in the regional centers orange sunny
02:2925 and a set of perfect days coming up
02:32I
03:03Love
03:05Looking for love
03:09Chase me chase me
03:17When
03:32How I wish I was
03:39All the kisses that you
03:43Only hope you've got a lot
03:46love
03:48Looking for a love
03:52Looking for love
03:57No
04:00I'm kidding
04:19Smoked cows udder rams testicles cooked in cream and single malt whiskey and seared fish seam. Oh stop
04:26I filed that months ago. I was really hoping it wouldn't make it to print
04:30How do you see a fish thing and the guys a fucking clown god? I can't do this for much longer
04:36Hey
04:39I've got a feeling some good things gonna start happening
04:45I'll drop mercy at the kennels. I'll finish some stuff off with the office
04:48I'll grab my suit at the dry cleaners in the swing back pick me up in a minute. Mm-hmm
04:52Which dry cleaners the dinky one South Melbourne's isn't in my office
04:58Can't believe it's tomorrow. They've been talking about getting married for years
05:04You gonna pack that shirt that I bought you for your birthday little bluebirds
05:09Perfect for a country wedding. Yeah, you're gonna tell me which undies to wear to
05:13While while I'm at it
05:19See you soon
05:22I
05:24See
05:52I
06:13Thought you were wearing you big romantic adventure. Yeah, I just forgot my charger. All right, don't be in five
06:17Ah, they're worried if people don't apply for the voluntary redundancies. I start tapping people. Huh? Oh
06:22Let me know what the new editors like. Yeah. See you Monday
06:28Hi, you've reached Joe bird, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can
06:38Just taking mercy for a walk
06:52Don't worry plenty of time
07:02Hi, what's Toby's parents place like are you there? Oh, it's lovely. Well easy sister there. Oh, Jessica
07:08I can't make it. She's backpacking in Lisbon or Berlin with some kind of Italian opera singer boyfriend
07:14Anyway, um, you know cats put you and Joe out in the guest house. I mean, do you know that?
07:20Yeah, well, it's it's the only other room with an en suite and yes, I was expecting that
07:26Oh, it's just I really don't know what I'll do if I need to just go before bed
07:32It's just I'm up and down all night
07:33You know
07:34God knows how I'll find it from the kids room sharing a buck with Rory and everything and you know
07:38I'm lucky she wants the top. I'm not swapping with you Joe and I can't sleep in bunks
07:43No, I never suggested that no, of course a couple needs to take the guest house
07:47Single women and children a better thing. Well, I've got to hang up now because I've got a cool
08:17Oh
08:26My family, huh, beautiful kids all children are beautiful
08:33Do you have kids? I know
08:36How come uh bad luck that meant too late
08:48Hi
08:52I'm in the uber. We're about five minutes from your office. Hey, I'm not there
08:58Where are you there's been a change of plans
09:03What change well, I had to drop by my bank managers to release the deposit for the El Dorado sale what
09:11Percy finally accepted your offer. Mm-hmm. I told you I had a good feeling
09:17Deadline for the deposits at 3 p.m. Oh, we're on a flight at 3 p.m. I
09:22Thought you'd be a bit more excited
09:25I am I am Joe. It's just
09:28God why today? I mean they've been dragging their feet for months. Yeah. Look I guess he had a change of heart
09:35Look, I'll get a cab in about five minutes. I'll race you to the airport
09:39Good luck. All right. Hey, the bank managers just come in. I've got to go. I'll see you there
09:47Oh
09:58Sorry just straight to the airport now, we don't have to pick up the other passenger. Oh, right. No problem
10:04Do you mind if I just finish my call? I don't know. Sure. Go ahead
10:09Hey misty
10:12No, I'm arrested
10:15No, I don't
10:19Do me
10:21No, I don't know wait cool
10:24Hi, you've reached Joe bird, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can
10:28Hi. Hi. I know you're in your meeting. I just realized it's gonna be too tight for you. So I'll pick up your suit
10:34I mean, there's no need to call me back
10:37It's going well
10:40I'm sorry. Can you actually just take a left up on Park Street here? I need to pick up something from the dry cleaner
10:46Okay, sure. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just a second
10:50No, I'm a passenger
10:53Now I'm in the city now
11:10I
11:13Keep chewing gum
11:25Left here. Yeah. Yes, please
11:31I'll check all the other misty
11:37Thanks, I'll just be a minute
11:40Oh
12:06Babe why you sound like that? I'm gonna come see you soon
12:10No, I just have to drop off my last passenger
12:15Come on babe, don't be mad with me, please
12:21He got Dita princess baby, I'll come see you soon. I promise I can't wait to see you
12:29What no, I told you I left misty why do you keep bringing that up?
12:33Okay. Well your sister-in-law is talking shit. All right, because I'm just there for a few weeks to save the rent
12:39And help her with the kids
12:42Yes, I know. They're my kids too. Okay, it's just complicated right now. G all right
12:48Yes, it's complicated
12:50Okay, you were starting to sound like her now
12:54Yeah
12:57Yeah, please
13:00Okay, what's up with you
13:09You
13:16Ready miss
13:26Ready
13:32Hi Liam's casamtas, he's put a last-minute offer on El Dorado
13:36How much yeah, he's blowing it up by an extra million bucks miss seatbelt, please. Oh
13:43No
13:44Yes, I'm gonna have to see my business partner. See if I can move some money around. Oh, no, Joe
13:48You're gonna be late. Hang on. I said I'll be there. I'm look look. I'm sorry. I'm stressed
13:52I need to find a hundred K to make up the deposit shortfall by 3 p.m
13:57Otherwise, we're gonna lose El Dorado. Have you got another hundred cash? Yes. Yes, of course
14:01But it's tied up in a trust with Olivia and Harry and Mary's making it difficult to access
14:06I can't get a bridging loan from the bank until 9 a.m. Tomorrow. Oh my god
14:10Well, there must be something we can do. I don't want to lose El Dorado
14:15Yeah, I think we better brace ourselves for that eventuality unless you can magic up a hundred K
14:20You can loan me until 9 a.m. Tomorrow
14:22Well, then, you know, I think Liam's gonna get it. Hey, hang on. Here's my business partner
14:26I'll call you back in a sec. Wait, Joe. Are you gonna make the flight?
14:31Oh
14:37You're right. Oh, yeah. Thanks. I just some very bad news
14:50Pauly hey brother. Yeah. Yeah, I can't I can't really talk right now, man. I got a passenger
14:57No, I haven't
15:01I
15:22Gotta share that stuff around
15:31I
16:01I
16:20Mean I go
16:22Big bang the bank for every Victorian whatever future you're saving for we're right there with you
16:29Your call is important to us
16:33Hi, you've reached big bank. My name is Amy. How can I help you today? Oh, hi. Yeah
16:38I've just transferred some money from my micro shares account and it says it's gonna take two to three business days to clear
16:44I don't I don't understand. Is there anything I can do to expedite the process?
16:47Sorry transfers from your micro shares platform will clear on Monday at the earliest
16:53Is there anything I can do to get that money today?
16:55No transfers from non-linked platforms take at least 48 hours
17:00Is there anything else I can help you with today?
17:07What's the turnover on a personal loan the banks approvals on personal loans is very fast usually within 20 days
17:12And over on a personal loan the banks approvals on personal lines is very fast usually within 24 hours
17:19Hi
17:21Oh
17:41Yes seatbelt, please we're on the highway
17:51Oh
18:15Hey Peggy miss me already might do
18:21I'm just on my way. Um, hey Peggy
18:25If I was to take one of the redundancies at work, how quickly do you think I get the money?
18:31What and no, that's a ridiculous idea. It's a terrible offer. You know, just hypothetically
18:37Hypothetically you could negotiate it for next payroll, but mainly get fucked. Are you insane?
18:42We have one of the last secure jobs in a dying industry
18:45Do you have any idea what it's like for women out there at the moment a fast track to join the middle class middle-aged?
18:50Menopausal unemployed. It's a fucking bloodbath
18:52Okay, sure. Thanks. Thanks. I've got to go
18:57Can you just forget work for a minute? Enjoy your sexy weekend away. I'm jealous
19:03Yeah, I will
19:04Is everything okay? Yeah, I've just got to go. Okay
19:20Hi, you've reached Anton at the Falconer. I'm probably at the bar. So leave a message or come down and buy me a drink
19:26Anton it's me. Um, can you call me back? It's urgent. I was just wondering if I could borrow back
19:35The brand that I gave you for the flowers. I just I just need some cash flow. I
19:41I got a job. I got a job
19:43I
19:46Just I just need some cash flow I
19:49Can go straight to the florist at 9 a.m. Tomorrow and pay them. I I just I just need the money today by 3 p.m
19:57if you can
20:00I'm on a flight in 30 minutes, and I need it before then
20:05Sorry
20:13I
20:15I
20:17I
20:19I
20:40Mum hey a bunch of musicians have turned up. They can't play a tune between them
20:44I think they're sleeping in vans playing their bong bongs. I know I need to ask a big favor. I'm on the way to the airport
20:50Oh, yeah, can I borrow some money until tomorrow? Yeah, how much what's for 40 grand? What the fuck?
20:57I can pay you back by 9 a.m. I just can't get it out of my bank quick enough
21:02The sale for El Dorado is going through today at 3 p.m.
21:07I thought that all gone up in smoke. Yes
21:09What did I now it's suddenly back on and and there's another bitter Joe and I've got to find another
21:14$100,000 for the deposit or we'll lose the property
21:19He does yes, but it's it's tied up in a trust for his children. There's the divorce
21:26If you can transfer me the money, I'll have it back in your account tomorrow
21:30Listen the toilet is a long way down the hall from the bunk room
21:35I'm just worried about you know waking Rory when I turn the light you can have the guest room
21:39I don't care. I mean Joe and I can have the sofa bed. Oh, no. No. No. No
21:43I would never ask you to do that. You didn't and and Joe will be fine with the sofa. He's he's a bushman at heart
21:49Okay, so I listen. I don't know 40 grand, but I do have got a little bit
21:52I put aside just for solar panels
21:54But you know I need it back in the account the next day and they didn't there tomorrow because the solar man's coming next week
21:59How much is it?
22:00It's 20,000 for solar panels. Did you bring around of course I rang around
22:05Can you get Toby's dad to drive you into the bank? Oh Christ? It's it's 10 minutes into town
22:09Oh, you'll make it if you go now. Oh, well if you get me off the phone. I can yeah, okay, okay go
22:15mom
22:17Thank you. It means a lot. Yeah, well just remember this one
22:19It's time to put me in a nursing home and put me in a bloody fancy one and do not give me chocolates because I hear
22:24That the nurses steal them all and you got to watch me eat them and then take the rest home promise
22:30Okay, go yeah, well. I'm going I'm going
22:33You go first. Thanks
22:35I
22:52You've reached Joe bird, please leave a message, and I'll get back to you when I can
22:57Joe I I got you 70 grand 50 from my book account and
23:0320 from mom on loan had to do a deal with the devil to get it, but it'll be in my account in 20 minutes I
23:10Know it's not the full hundred K, but it's gonna count for something right I
23:16Just want to help. I just
23:19Just call me back as soon as you finish your meeting and send me a bank account details. I'll transfer the money
23:25I
23:38Left her already I told you
23:41my promise
23:43Tell a prometo way of the heart my spurs are yeah, no
23:48So I think okay, but I'll ask no Gia
23:51Por favor Gia Gia
24:05Ma'am you should be a bit more careful. You know there's a lot of scammers out there these days oh
24:11No oh this no it's not a money scam
24:15My partner's buying a property. It's just complicated
24:21I
24:23Couldn't I can totally understand why that sounded weird though
24:28He's he's got a lot of money my partner
24:32quite wealthy so
24:35Good for you
24:44Hi totally off your tree birdie
24:46Seriously squeezing me Toby and your mom to bankroll your boyfriend's stupid mansion the day before my wedding
24:52And we've already bought the flowers from the farm. I just don't worry about it. I am worried about it birdie because this
25:00It all seems crazy. Don't you think I mean what exactly are you trying to do? What's your plan?
25:04I'm trying and I'm trying trying to save my fucking future
25:10Okay, so how talk me through that how a stupid mansion that was gonna be our
25:16Stupid birdie, I'm stressed here. I'm waiting for the champagne guy to come the marquee's been put up in the wrong place
25:23Honestly, you three never want to come to my flat
25:26Always an excuse
25:28Absolute bullshit
25:31You've always had someone I don't come home to anyone
25:39Sorry I'm acting crazy. I am crazy. I'm just top fucking
25:46I'll pull myself together
25:49I'm sorry
25:52Sometimes I don't don't feel sorry for me
25:55How much you need 30 grand?
25:59Even with your thousand it doesn't it doesn't make a difference. I can't do it. Just just don't worry about it
26:06And you trust Joe
26:11Yes, I do
26:14You sure you want to lend him 30k because that's a lot that's huge I
26:22Just know in 10 years time none of this is gonna matter
26:29I'm gonna have to go Joe Michael. Just give me a sec. I just need to talk to Toby
26:43I
26:53Anton I'm fine. Just I'm sorry. I'm so
26:59Stressed out of my mind. I can't think straight. I can give you a line of credit from the Falcons accounts
27:03If it's just until tomorrow, okay birds
27:06I'll borrow my payroll account and you boomerang it back before Friday or
27:11We're sunk
27:14Too much
27:22You help me find out who I was so I'm not straight
27:33Now I'm getting married to someone I've loved for so long
27:38You're a part of that so
27:41I can help you have something too. I mean I want to
27:47Love your beds. I
27:50Love you, too
27:55Text me your bag details and I'll make the transfer
28:00Bye
28:11Hi, you've reached over please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can
28:16Joe I got the hundred K. I got the money
28:19Call me back as soon as you finish with the bank manager
28:34Thanks babe for the thought but save your pennies
28:37I'm doing some soul-searching and I've decided not to go through with El Dorado. I
28:42Don't want to go down the path of ego
28:45Need to get back to Walden in the simple life. I
28:49Put an offer on Jack around her instead
28:57Hi, you've reached over please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can Joe Jack around it doesn't have a house on it
29:06Oh, well, are you still coming?
29:36I
30:06I
30:10Miss you, okay
30:36I
31:06I
31:36I
32:06I
32:31You've reached over please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can
32:36You've reached over please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can
33:06I
33:25Don't I don't need it anymore what we had to let El Dorado go you let it go
33:30I mean, well, I came all the way to town for nothing. I mean, I was having drink
33:35What the fuck mom?
33:50Hi, you've reached over please leave a message and I'll get back to you
34:05Right
34:17My partner when we were on this plane together, he's just running late
34:21Can you see on there whether he's checked in online or what name is the booking under Joe bird?
34:29He booked the seat next to me the middle seat next to me about a month ago 21 B
34:35I'm sorry, if the bookings not in your name, I can't give out passenger details due to privacy regulations
34:41Well, could you just this once because I just I need to know whether he's coming or not
34:48Is the seat next to mine booked and has that person checked in the flight is fully booked
34:54Maybe you should try calling your partner. Yeah, right
34:58I'm sorry
35:00I
35:16Apologies the overhead lockers are full, but I can take it for you. Oh
35:23Excuse me
35:30Oh
35:51Hi, you've reached over please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can I'm on the plane now
35:58Mm-hmm
36:00Joe they're about to close the doors
36:02Where are you?
36:05People's going on
36:07Hey, hey
36:10Would you mind moving your oh
36:13That's it seats taken
36:15No, um, I'm 21 B. See
36:19My partner's 21 B
36:22He's coming. No
36:24My work booked in months ago, I always fly back wrong. It's the safest seat on the plane. Yeah. No, that's lousy night
36:33I'll show you the email. Yeah, it's just a bit of a mix-up. So why don't you check I don't help
36:38The lady's waiting for her partner who's also booked on 21 B. It's just late. No, this is correct
36:46Entire flights booked out. Everyone's boarded. So please take your seats
36:55Excuse me
37:01Sorry
37:03Cabin crew, please prepare for gate departure
37:06arm doors and crosscheck
37:09Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign as we are now preparing for takeoff
37:24Oh
37:46Turbulence is just air currents like waves. It's normal to get posture. Do you mind if we don't chat?
37:55Oh
38:05Hi, you've reached Joppa, please leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can I've shut the doors now
38:12I'm going alone
38:15Oh
38:17No, that makes sense
38:19Why couldn't you just call me device on flight my place and you're back just under the seat in front. Are you even booked?
38:44I
39:14I
39:44You
40:14You
40:36You