• 5 months ago

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00:00You
00:30I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the
01:00library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm
01:26going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the
01:56library and I'm going to go to the library and I'm going to go to the library and I
02:23I see the appeal.
02:25Easy money.
02:26It's not easy money.
02:32Oh.
02:33-♪♪♪♪
02:35-♪♪♪♪
02:38Hi, Bridget.
02:39Hey, yeah, uh, I'm sorry.
02:42I thought Rob was doing the school run today.
02:44It's okay.
02:45Listen, um, I'm just winding up with a contractor,
02:48so, uh, yeah, I'll be right there.
02:51We'll see you soon.
02:52Sorry.
02:53Bye.
02:54♪♪♪♪
02:59Okay.
03:02Hmm.
03:03All right.
03:04Look, it's not a kink thing.
03:08It's barely even a sex thing.
03:10Mostly he just writes me some poetry,
03:12I tell him he's a genius,
03:13and then we cuddle.
03:17Oh, my God.
03:19Honestly, I'm doing you a fucking favor.
03:21So you should really be thanking me.
03:23-♪♪♪♪♪
03:27-♪♪♪♪♪
03:31-♪♪♪♪♪
03:34-♪♪♪♪♪
03:40-♪ Well, I'm here to remind you ♪
03:44♪ Of a mess you left when you went away ♪
03:49♪ It's not fair to deny me ♪
03:54♪ All the cross-eyed fear that you gave to me ♪
03:58♪ You, you, you ought to know ♪
04:01♪ Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity? ♪
04:05♪ I hate to fuck you in the middle of dinner ♪
04:10♪ There was a slap in the face, how quickly I was replaced ♪
04:14♪ And are you thinking of me when you fuck her? ♪
04:19-♪♪♪♪♪
04:23-♪ George! My little man! ♪
04:27-♪ Jose, you are an idiot! ♪
04:29-♪♪♪♪♪
04:33-♪ Till you die, till you die, but you're still alive! ♪
04:37-♪ And I'm here to remind you of a mess you left! ♪
04:44-♪ And when you run out, it's time to get out! ♪
04:48-♪ If you can make it... ♪
04:50-♪♪♪♪♪
04:57-Hey, Mac! Look, I want to get your take
04:59on what I've been working on this afternoon.
05:02I've been coming at the obselfice again, like you were saying.
05:05I think I'm open to a broader, more commercial treatment.
05:08-♪♪♪♪♪♪
05:10My mom, I'm hungry.
05:12It's not ready for my work on the collective rural consciousness.
05:17Have you started dinner?
05:19Well, he said he wasn't hungry.
05:21Oh, sorry.
05:23Maybe there's no shame in writing something
05:25that ends up in Oprah's book club, you know?
05:30Noam, could you please turn that down?
05:32I just need to pivot, you know?
05:34Just got to Trojan horse the cultural insight,
05:36chuck in some graphics, axe the appendices,
05:39a digestible title.
05:42What are you talking about?
05:44Freedom and chips.
05:48It's a play on fish and chips.
05:49Talking about how Aotearoa New Zealand
05:51can leverage the cultural capital we're building up.
05:57You didn't kill that chicken.
06:00Well, I said I'd take care of it.
06:01Damn.
06:02It's almost dead anyway.
06:04Look, it's sick.
06:05You got to put her out of her misery.
06:07Look, I know freedom and chips isn't the second sex,
06:10but while we're stuck in NZ, I should write about NZ.
06:13We're not stuck, Rob.
06:14We've been here 15 years.
06:16I was just saying, we came to write a book, didn't we?
06:18Yeah, and found out exactly how important free health care is.
06:23You know, I just spent the week writing a 500-word column
06:26about a sheep who can predict the weather.
06:29Look, I can't be this guy any longer.
06:31Oh, about that other bank account of yours.
06:34You know, the one $180 is coming out of your pay
06:38every couple of weeks and cash and ATM in town,
06:41same day, same time.
06:45Yeah, it's for us.
06:46It's, um...
06:49Well, it's just been ages since we've had a holiday,
06:52so I was waiting to tell you.
06:53Just the two of us.
06:56Surprise?
06:59Surprise.
07:01Hey, I said I'm totally fine to do...
07:05that.
07:09Sorry.
07:21Rob?
07:22Nima?
07:26Nima?
07:29Nima?
07:31Nima?
07:49OK, you ready for your shower?
07:51Come on.
07:53Hey, Toby, don't use all the hot water this time.
07:55I love his talk.
07:57Oh, God.
07:58Mom, he spends, like, an hour in there every single time.
08:03It's a happy place.
08:06Thanks, Tom.
08:07Yeah, it's all good.
08:21Meg?
08:24Yeah?
08:25Meg?
08:26Mm-hmm?
08:28Meg?
08:29Hey.
08:30Yeah?
08:31Can you take over?
08:32I've got to do something.
08:34Yeah.
08:36Thanks.
08:44You all right there, bud?
08:46Oh.
08:58Mm.
09:07Mm.
09:28PHONE VIBRATES
09:41The fuck is this?
09:42New initiative for valued clients.
09:44Ten trips, get a free gobby.
09:47I don't do freebies.
09:48Do you do unemployment?
09:54Oh.
09:55Hi.
09:56Are you actually stalking me?
09:58No.
09:59No, I am not here for you.
10:01Yeah.
10:02No wonder.
10:03Really needs to work on her bedside manner, this one.
10:06Keep offering to upskill her.
10:09Come on, then.
10:10What about my blowjob?
10:12Are you going to pay for it?
10:13I...
10:14I mean...
10:15Fuck off.
10:16Hey, we'll be talking about this.
10:18You turned up late today?
10:19Yeah, that's a $50 fine.
10:20I don't work for free, dickhead.
10:22Sorry about her, cheeky bitch.
10:25Welcome to Shadows.
10:26Hey.
10:27Not often we get a female client walk through those doors.
10:30You know why?
10:31Women are less in touch with their sexuality.
10:35Good to know.
10:38Hey, baby.
10:41Here's the line-up.
10:42Take your pick.
10:43Yeah?
10:45He gets first dibs.
10:46Play nice.
10:48At least for now, baby.
10:51Hi.
10:52Who to choose?
10:54Who to choose today?
10:58Oh.
10:59Oh, yeah.
11:02Aren't they spectacular?
11:05Are they always like this?
11:08Depends.
11:09On what?
11:10How much porn they've watched.
11:12Depends on what they want.
11:13What does he want?
11:15You want a nice woman for a nice time, don't you, baby?
11:20What about you, honey?
11:22Hmm?
11:23What do you want?
11:25I want to watch.
11:36Come here, sweetheart.
11:38The lady needs to sit in your chair.
11:41She likes to watch too.
11:42Yeah, you'd stick her in a box.
11:44Oh.
11:45Hey.
11:46Oh.
11:52Anything special for you, baby?
11:54Ah, well, thank you for asking.
11:56I'd like to do you from behind and splooge in your hair.
12:01Well, I would like that.
12:04Extra 50 bucks for the hair.
12:06How about you put that on?
12:10How about you, blondie?
12:12You ready for a good time?
12:15Oh.
12:17That's nice.
12:21You good?
12:22Oh.
12:23Oh, very sexy.
12:29Okay.
12:32I think we're ready now.
12:33Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:34Yeah? Come on, big boy.
12:35Yeah.
12:38Yeah.
12:41Oh.
12:42Oh.
12:45I'm sorry.
12:49I'm sorry.
12:50Do you mind?
12:52Oh.
12:53Yeah?
12:54Sure.
12:56Come on.
13:01Oh, yeah.
13:05You're really good.
13:07You must get a lot of work.
13:10Can I ask how much you earn?
13:12What?
13:13That's my king.
13:15Oh.
13:16In that case, on a good night, I'd take that 500.
13:20Sexy.
13:21And, um, I imagine you're a contractor, right?
13:24So how does it work with tax? Is that gross or not?
13:27Oh, so big.
13:28And benefits, like, do you get holiday pay?
13:31Hey, can we...
13:33Oh, sorry.
13:34Yeah, of course.
13:35Yes.
13:38Yeah?
13:39Mm, yeah.
13:41Oh, yeah.
13:42Yes?
13:43There you are.
13:44Oh.
13:45Oh, yeah.
13:46Give me your hand.
13:47Give me your hand.
13:48Oh.
13:49Oh.
13:53Oh, come on.
13:57You all good?
13:58Yeah.
14:00You?
14:01Yep.
14:02That Dion's a douchebag, huh?
14:04First time at a brothel?
14:06Yep.
14:09Thoughts?
14:11Uh, I don't know.
14:13I guess I thought that because sex work was legal here,
14:17that it would be nicer, more respectful.
14:21What did you expect, an ethical brothel?
14:25What's your deal?
14:27Stay-at-home mum who gets her rocks off
14:29watching others do the work for a change, eh?
14:33It's Cherry, right?
14:35I'll be in touch.
14:38Wait, what?
14:39Why?
14:46But everything I'm telling you is completely above board,
14:50and it's been vacant since forever,
14:52so why do you care who rents it?
14:56Okay, well, if you change your mind, you have my number.
15:00You go somewhere last night?
15:02Yep.
15:04Why are you being so weird this morning?
15:06Being weird? We're leaving in 30 seconds.
15:09Hey, Cass.
15:10Morning.
15:11Cass.
15:12Oh, hey, I need you to do pick-up this afternoon.
15:15Mum, I'll be in the car.
15:16Why? Why can't you?
15:17I have a meeting with the bank manager at 2.30.
15:21I'm starting a new business.
15:24What?
15:25I'm opening a brothel.
15:27Eh?
15:28Yeah.
15:29Got the idea from you, actually.
15:32Have fun.
15:34See you later.
15:36Bye.
15:47So sex work, despite being the oldest profession in the world,
15:50is still shrouded in shame and secrecy and stigma.
15:55So my proposal is...
15:57Hey.
16:00Hey.
16:01You know my husband, Rob.
16:02Yeah, hey.
16:03How you going?
16:04Oh, yeah.
16:06Yeah.
16:07Can we sit?
16:08Yeah.
16:10So I visited Shadows last night.
16:13The only brothel in town.
16:15It is not well-run.
16:17Slimy as hell.
16:18So the manager tells me he has over 10,000 people on his contact list.
16:23That's barely 100,000 people in Northland.
16:26Two-thirds of them are women and children who do the math.
16:28Just stop.
16:29Just stop.
16:31Please.
16:32Could you excuse us for one minute?
16:34What's up?
16:36Okay.
16:37You're pissed.
16:38Yeah, I get it, okay?
16:39I fucked up, but you can't...
16:40I'm not angry.
16:41I agree.
16:42Really.
16:43I'm actually relieved, which I'm trying not to feel bad about.
16:46If the future needs some time...
16:50Yeah, no, we're good.
16:52We're just, you know, metabolizing the emotion.
16:56I'm a writer.
16:57Oh, okay.
16:58Yeah.
17:00So I'm thinking, if I can grab 10% market share,
17:03I'm making 35 gross per week.
17:05Yeah, it's a compelling pitch.
17:06Right?
17:07So, what would I do with $50,000?
17:11There is the first three months projected return.
17:14I can't give you a loan.
17:15We have a morality clause in our contracts.
17:17Oh, I will be running a profoundly moral business.
17:21It's about our morals, not yours.
17:25Right.
17:28Okay.
17:30In that case,
17:32we would like to take out a small personal loan
17:35against the house
17:36so that we can renovate our bathroom
17:38for our disabled son.
17:40If that passes your morality test.
17:47Yeah, uh...
17:49Yes, it does.
17:51But, um...
17:52I mean, he inherited the house,
17:54so it's still under his name.
17:56So, if you're happy to sign for it.
17:59Uh...
18:05So...
18:08You might want to take that away.
18:09Thank you so much, Joe.
18:11No worries.
18:13This is Mackenzie Lee.
18:15She's an American.
18:17She wants to take over the motel.
18:19No, just a couple of rooms, actually.
18:21Yeah, she's opening up a brothel.
18:24Isn't that modern?
18:25$10,000 a month.
18:26No, as I said, I just want a couple of rooms.
18:29I'll take care of it.
18:30I'm going to be a big man.
18:32I'm going to be a big man.
18:33I'll be a big man.
18:34I'll be a big man.
18:35I'll be a big man.
18:36I'll be a big man.
18:37I'll be a big man.
18:38I'll be a big man.
18:39I'll be a big man.
18:40I'll be a big man.
18:41I'll be a big man.
18:42$10,000 a month.
18:43And you can keep running your motel?
18:45$10,000 a month.
18:46I know this place is already being used for sex work.
18:49$10,000 a month.
18:57There's a couple of shops on Main Street.
18:59No, I have asked about every vacant joint in Featherton Bay,
19:02just by telling them that I will be running an ethical brothel.
19:05Ah, luckily Sandy doesn't care about ethics.
19:07Do you, Sandy?
19:08$10,000 a month.
19:09I don't want to run a motel.
19:12Well, I could always stay on and run it for you.
19:18Our next performer is Max Rocket,
19:20and he's going to be doing some comedy.
19:24Friends and fans,
19:25today I am going to be entertaining you
19:28with some stand-up, oops, I mean sitting-down comedy.
19:34Let me just warm up my voice.
19:38Hello?
19:39Hi, Tizia, it's Mac.
19:42I watched you get taken from behind a couple of nights ago.
19:45Yeah.
19:46What do you want?
19:47Listen, um, so I'm opening a brothel,
19:50and I'd like you to come and work for me.
19:52Why would I do that?
19:54Well, for a start, because Dion is an absolute idiot.
19:58You mean my boyfriend?
19:59No.
20:00How long have you guys been together?
20:02Fuck off.
20:03Just...
20:04Oh.
20:06Mac.
20:08Nice to see you outside a parent-teacher interview.
20:11Yeah, yeah, you too, you too.
20:14Oh, it would be so sad to say goodbye to Toby
20:17after he graduates.
20:19Are any other kids waiting for a spot?
20:21Do you think we could maybe stay on until the...
20:24No, it's school policy that when he ages out,
20:28he has to move on and make space for another student.
20:34Coming.
20:36Hello, you.
20:38Sandy told me you're going to be moving in.
20:40Uh, so you got experience?
20:44Yep.
20:46Well, you know, I mean, I've had sex.
20:48I basically already have sex with you,
20:50but, like, volunteer vibes, you know?
20:53What special skills could you bring?
20:55Um, well, I am a Scorpio.
20:58I know how to tie a pig,
21:00so I could probably tie a man.
21:03He just, like, broke up with me.
21:06Sorry, my IQ is just, like, off the charts, you know?
21:09I'm quite sensitive.
21:11I've been doing sensual massage for about four years now.
21:14You need a rub down.
21:16Do you do Greek?
21:17Greek, um, European, um, Asian,
21:20North American, South American, Scandinavian,
21:22Antarctica one time.
21:24Just no Australians.
21:25Greek is the industry term for anal sex.
21:28Oh, fuck no.
21:30Fuck yes, absolutely. I love it.
21:32Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
21:33Don't do it. I don't do it.
21:35David loved anal.
21:37Do you see yourself in this line of work?
21:39Do you?
21:40Do I see you as a sex worker?
21:42Yeah.
21:43Only if you want to be seen as a sex worker.
21:47Straight in there, pants down, dick in the mouth,
21:49up against the wall.
21:50I could totally tell you fuck.
21:51Oh, baby, fuck.
21:53Oh, sorry, not swearing.
21:55I think I'd just be straight up.
21:56I'd say, you know, what sort of things do you like?
22:02I just need to, like, have a little moment,
22:04and then I'm fine.
22:05Like, I'm actually a really good employee.
22:07Great.
22:08Yeah.
22:09Well, that's a start.
22:18Chewy.
22:20Oh, fuck.
22:21I will take out a restraining order.
22:22No, listen to me.
22:23Listen to me.
22:24I'm starting a brothel, an ethical brothel,
22:27and I want you to come work for me.
22:31Come on.
22:32You don't want to work at Shadows.
22:34Oh, true.
22:35Nice white lady, please.
22:36Tell me more about what I want.
22:37Well, you could be earning more and being treated better.
22:40Plus, listen, there's an untapped market.
22:42Trust me, it's debt.
22:44At my brothel, you control who you see,
22:46what you do, and when you do it.
22:48It's a business run by women for women,
22:50without misogyny or violence.
22:53I'm taking sex work out of the Shadows.
22:56Funny.
22:57Yeah, I thought so.
23:01Why are you doing this?
23:06Remember you told me that you were doing me a favor?
23:10You were right.
23:12I can't give Rob what he wants,
23:14but it's not entirely true.
23:16I don't want to.
23:17I'm fucking exhausted.
23:19I don't have time for pet names and love poetry
23:21and telling him that I still think
23:23he's got a bestseller in him.
23:25So he wants more.
23:27He doesn't want out.
23:28So he wants more.
23:29He doesn't want out.
23:30Neither do I.
23:31And if you can give him what he wants,
23:34then why should he be ashamed of that?
23:36Like, why should you?
23:37Why should I?
23:38Why does shame even have to be part of the equation?
23:43I'm not ashamed.
23:45But that didn't even occur to you.
23:47You have no fucking idea how this world works.
23:50Go have a midlife crisis in your own fucking country.
23:53Thank you.
23:54Bye.
23:58Fair call.
24:00Good luck with Dion.
24:18I've been thinking about that teaching gig in Auckland.
24:22Yeah, I know it's not ideal,
24:24but it's good money.
24:26It's only a semester.
24:28Teaching days, writing nights.
24:31Freedom and chips.
24:33Maybe something a little more raw,
24:35more autobiographical.
24:41Our unique experience.
24:43Sex work.
24:44Bringing us back together.
24:51Rob, I need you here.
24:55Right, yeah, no, it's fine.
24:58I mean, I'll tell him, no.
25:05Thanks.
25:06Yeah.
25:09Hey.
25:14I do love you.
25:16Yeah.
25:19Yeah, I love you too.
25:25Mm.
25:26Mm.
25:29Yeah, I'm never gonna see her again.
25:31Yeah.
25:33Oh, Tui.
25:35Yeah, well,
25:36you should have told me that before I offered her a job.
25:40No, I'm serious.
25:41I mean, experienced sex workers and good taste.
25:44She's hot.
25:47And hey,
25:48if you're good,
25:49I'll offer you a free session on the house.
25:53Come on, Mac.
25:55Come on.
25:56Look, I'm not gonna suddenly become a person that loves spooning,
25:59but you should have that.
26:01And I am really okay with it.
26:05Okay, so you're just totally fine if I fuck hookers?
26:08Well, they prefer the term sex worker.
26:13But this is a great business.
26:16And with Toby aging out of school,
26:18this could put us ahead financially.
26:20Oh, okay, well, so what,
26:21you're just gonna start a business with the woman I cheated on you with?
26:24Genius!
26:25Come on, don't be like that.
26:26Well, don't you use us as an excuse to go eat pre-pimp?
26:28Oh, but it's okay for you to write it
26:30and clog up our hallway with unsold books?
26:32Well, at least I fucking wrote one.
26:34Exactly.
26:35I backed you for 15 years.
26:36It is my turn to have a thing.
26:40Huh.
26:42All right, I'm taking that job.
26:45You do whatever you need to do.
26:47But if you think I'm selling that loan document,
26:49you're fucking mental.
27:00So how long's Dad gone for?
27:02A semester.
27:04Don't worry, he'll get back to see us when he can.
27:07Are you and Dad okay?
27:11Uh, yeah.
27:13Yeah, no, totally.
27:15Or... I could.
27:17You know?
27:19Same, same.
27:21Yeah.
27:34Hi, what's this?
27:36Just an idea I had for a business.
27:46Oh, here she is.
27:47The big Mac.
27:48Mac and cheese.
27:49It's gonna be so cool working alongside each other.
27:51You doing the brothel, me doing the motel.
27:53Jules, I need to talk to you.
27:55Yeah, me too.
27:56I'm not sure about the name.
27:57Mac and cheese?
27:58No, sweethearts.
28:00Does it feel a bit misogynist?
28:02Well, I guess that was the point.
28:04We were taking it back.
28:06Oh.
28:09Listen, uh, here's the thing.
28:11Hey, there's something you need to see.
28:15You have a great penis.
28:17You have a great penis.
28:19That's a great penis.
28:21Wow, look at that penis.
28:23Wow, that's quite a penis.
28:25Congratulations on your penis.
28:26They all showed up.
28:28And then some.
28:30Uh, look, I'm sure you have an inspirational opening day pep talk memorized,
28:34but Sandy wants a chat first.
28:36He needs rent and bond paid as soon as possible.
28:39Oh, hello.
28:40Can I help you?
28:42So I'm here.
28:45You better not be full of shit,
28:46because I just told Dion the only thing smaller than his dick is his brain.
28:53What?
28:58Excuse me.
29:09What's going on?
29:11Pass me a pen, babe.
29:16Okay.
29:30Mom.
29:31Who's that?
29:37Oh.
29:38She works for me.
29:46Damn right.
29:47It's better than yours.
29:48I could teach you, but I have to charge.
29:50My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,
29:52and their life is better than yours.
29:54Damn right.
29:55It's better than yours.
29:56I could teach you, but I have to charge.