Taskmaster AU S02 E07
Taskmaster AU S02 E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x91ykv8
Taskmaster AU S02 E08 >>> https://dai.ly/x91ykv8
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00:00I love you, Fred.
00:02I love you too.
00:05I love you too.
00:07I love you.
00:09I love you too.
00:12I watch it all every day.
00:16I love you.
00:18And I love you a lot.
00:22I love you.
00:23I love you.
00:25I love you.
00:27Hello, welcome to the highly anticipated seventh episode of Taskmaster Australia.
00:43It's the show that answers the burning question, what if comedians had feelings?
00:47And what if the man hosting them did not give a single shit about those feelings?
00:52I am that host and yes, I am who you think I am, the man who killed and is wearing the
00:57skin of Tom Gleeson.
00:59Sitting in front of me, as always, are five sweet, innocent children between the ages
01:07of 29 and 50.
01:09They are Anne Edmonds, Jenny Tian, Josh Thomas, Lloyd Langford and Will Anderson.
01:24And here beside me, a man who I'd love to get to know better if his dressing room didn't
01:30smell so much of Nutri-Grain.
01:33It's my assistant, Lesser Tom.
01:35G'day mate, how are you going?
01:39I'm not too bad, I've always wanted to be one of those guys that everyone knows can
01:43do a backflip.
01:44So I've been practising, not backflips, because that's too hard, I've been practising telling
01:49people I can do a backflip.
01:52I can do a backflip.
01:54Alright, Sugar Lips, sweeten the air with details of our prize task please.
02:01Tonight, our comedians have been asked to bring in a thing that is great to have one
02:05of but gets progressively worse the more you have.
02:08Oh, okay.
02:09Jenny, what have you brought in?
02:11I have brought in the Plan B pill, because if you have one, then you know, it like saves
02:21you, right?
02:22But then if you have multiple, then it is a little bit worse.
02:27And it's called the Plan B pill, not Plan B to Z.
02:31When you said saves you, you meant saves you from the blessing of having children.
02:40It didn't sound right, did it?
02:44So not more than once?
02:46No, not more than once.
02:47And also, my dad is in the crowd tonight, so if he asks...
02:54So it was a hypothetical, wasn't it?
02:56Exactly.
02:57I don't know what that is at all.
02:58I've never taken one in my life.
02:59Okay.
03:00Will?
03:01Oh, I'm happy with this.
03:02The more you have, the worse it gets.
03:04The nose.
03:05It's great to have one nose.
03:07You have two noses, suddenly they start getting closer to smellier places, but I thought you
03:14probably couldn't imagine what it would be like if someone had a lot of noses.
03:17So I just thought I'd bring this in.
03:25So you use medical marijuana for your pain, yeah?
03:28Yes.
03:29This more than one nose, it sounds like stoner talk to me.
03:32Oh man, imagine having more than one nose.
03:36Well it certainly wouldn't be cocaine talk, because no one would want to...
03:44Right Lloyd, what have you got?
03:46I chose a human skull.
03:51It's absolutely fine to have one skull on the mantelpiece or something in your house.
03:59It would be like a curiosity, but the more you have, the more you're getting into serial
04:05killer territory.
04:06If, for example, you went, do you want to come down to my basement and see all my skulls?
04:12I would be like, no, I'm going.
04:15What did you bring in, Anne?
04:16I brought in a Strongbow.
04:21The first time I got drunk, I snuck out of my parents' house through the window, went
04:25to a park, and I drank eight Strongbows.
04:30Then I came home and I was just vomiting out of the open window all night.
04:35I saw the face of God, and he loves Strongbow.
04:41But it's disgusting.
04:42Okay, Josh, what did you bring in?
04:45Buttholes.
04:46What's that supposed to be?
04:53As a butthole.
04:54A butthole?
04:55Or your...
04:56Was it you?
04:57It doesn't matter who it is.
05:02It's kind of like the nose in many ways, but I didn't do a photo composition of him with
05:11heaps and heaps of buttholes.
05:13And thank you for that.
05:14Yeah.
05:15All right, well, I should allocate some points.
05:17Well, I'm thinking Will's nose gets one point because it's stoner-talked.
05:20What are you talking about?
05:22That is like my best prize of the whole season.
05:26For no one?
05:28Yeah, one.
05:29Josh is going to get two points for his butthole, three points to Lloyd for the skull because
05:32it creeped me out a bit, and four points for the cider, because I agree, one cider's enough.
05:36Even half.
05:37But Bland B, pal.
05:38I mean, you don't want one more of those.
05:40Five points to Jenny.
05:45All right, I've said it before and I'll say it again, that's enough cider and buttholes
05:49for one night.
05:50Let's get into the good stuff, Tom.
05:52Sure thing.
05:53It's time for our contestants to pull their socks up to pull them down.
06:08Hi, Jenny.
06:09Hey, Tom.
06:10Kareem.
06:11Hi, Lloyd.
06:12Hello, Tom.
06:13Hi, Will.
06:14What's going on here?
06:15It's just a bunch of socks on the house.
06:17I can see that.
06:25Find the minivan in the sock.
06:30Oh.
06:32Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
06:34You may not enter the house.
06:35Your time starts now.
06:37Oh, flip me.
06:39What?
06:40Find the minivan in the sock.
06:44Well, I'm gonna go check out the caravan.
06:47Okay.
06:48Yeah.
06:50I don't see any socks.
06:52Is the hook helping?
06:53I mean, I'm not allowed to enter a house, and this is technically a house.
06:56You're allowed to enter.
06:57Oh.
06:58I don't really see anything.
07:01I don't see any socks here.
07:04Okay.
07:05Well...
07:07Oh.
07:10Oh, I see what's happened.
07:17Hello.
07:18Jenny, do you think your father is proud of you?
07:22Well, people often lose a few socks here and there,
07:24but I don't think anyone's lost that many before.
07:27Yeah, but in my mind, a minivan and a caravan were, like, the same thing,
07:32and I just thought, wow, it's probably gonna be, like,
07:34a really easy, quick find, and I'll go into the caravan
07:38to find the caravan that I was supposed to find,
07:40not realising that a caravan and a minivan are different vehicles,
07:43which...
07:44Yes.
07:45Well, if we've got nothing else out of this task,
07:47you've learnt that a caravan and a minivan are two different things.
07:51All right.
07:52Well, who's first?
07:53Two of them have athlete's feet.
07:54The other just has tinnier.
07:55It's Jenny, Anne and Lloyd.
07:59The minivan in a sock.
08:01OK.
08:05Oh, look at that!
08:09Can I keep that for my daughter?
08:11Yeah.
08:13My daughter would love that.
08:15You think? Yeah.
08:16I can't be bothered removing all these socks.
08:18That's just too many.
08:20I'm just trying to figure out inconsistency in pattern.
08:24It's a horse and a trailer.
08:26Can she have that as well?
08:27OK.
08:28Nice one.
08:31One of those guys.
08:32Fun. Yeah.
08:34It's an aeroplane.
08:35I'm not even going to ask you anymore.
08:37She's having that.
08:38Hello, Tom.
08:39Who's this?
08:40F*** you.
08:42I wonder if it's the number of stripes at the top,
08:44cos that one has three.
08:46There's one sock that has three stripes on it.
08:49If you could just pick up the giraffe.
08:53I'm having trouble.
08:54I got it, I got it.
08:55Oh.
08:56Ooh, I hear something inside!
08:59Awww.
09:01That's not minivan.
09:02No.
09:03You really need a lot of upper body strength for this one.
09:06Yeah.
09:11Lift your trotter leg up.
09:21May I have a look at your socks, please?
09:23What do you mean?
09:24I'm quite pissed off.
09:25I don't like it when I can't solve things.
09:27To be fair to you, I'm in a bit of pain as well.
09:29Oh, are you? Why are you in pain?
09:34Blast it.
09:35What's in there, Tommy Tom Tom Tom Tom?
09:37You're just desperate to get your feet out on television.
09:42Oh, you've double knotted them, you nerd!
09:47Minivan in the sock!
09:51Is that a minivan?
09:52I hope so, I'll never find it, no.
09:55Yay, I found it.
10:01OK.
10:03So, Anne and Lloyd, we get it, you've got a daughter.
10:06Yeah, I've just been thinking about how much she plays
10:08with that minivan and where it's been.
10:11Oh, right, so all the toys made it back to your daughter?
10:13Yeah, that's all she's got, just those toys.
10:17Now, Jenny, you said that Lester Tom here was a nerd
10:20because he double knotted his shoelaces.
10:22Yeah.
10:23He's one of the bullies at your school.
10:25Double knotting's a nerd activity.
10:27It is. So specific.
10:29Also, it's nerdy if you've tied a double knot
10:31when you know the next thing...
10:32If you know that what's going to happen that day
10:34is that Jenny is going to have to get down and untie your shoes,
10:37tying a double knot, I wouldn't say it's nerdy.
10:39That's full creep mode, man.
10:42You just want to keep her down there as long as you can,
10:45doing feet knots.
10:47I would like to make it very clear
10:49the double knot was not specific to Jenny.
10:52I actually... He had a combination lock on his shoe.
10:56I was down there for 45 minutes.
10:59Now, Jenny and Lloyd, you both found the sock with three stripes.
11:02Lloyd, did you not think to look for the other one?
11:04Socks come in pairs, so did you not think to...?
11:06I think I was caught up in the giddiness
11:09of getting new toys for Gwen.
11:12I found the sock with the three stripes
11:14and then when there was a car inside the sock,
11:17then I started thinking about
11:19there's got to be another three-striped sock.
11:21So that is what led you to look at my foot?
11:23Yeah, I wasn't just thinking,
11:25oh, I'm never going to be able to solve this task,
11:27I'll just enjoy an erotic moment with your...
11:30..with your foot.
11:32I started thinking about other socks
11:34and where the minivan could be
11:36and I distinctly remembered that day
11:38I hadn't put a minivan in my own sock.
11:41Alright, what are the scores so far?
11:43So Lloyd removed six socks from the house
11:46before discovering the minivan in my sock
11:48Anne only removed two socks from the house
11:50and was finished in just four minutes and 40 seconds.
11:53Jenny took 38 minutes and 45 seconds
11:57but still only removed two socks from the house,
11:59so tied with Anne.
12:01OK.
12:02Well, we're due a little ad break
12:04which should be just enough time to check
12:06what your significant other's been hiding in their sock
12:08this whole time.
12:09Hopefully it's a yummy treat just for you.
12:11We'll see you soon.
12:19APPLAUSE
12:22Welcome back to Taskmaster.
12:24It's the show single-handedly keeping
12:26the long sock grabby stick industry afloat.
12:29What's happening, Tom Cashman?
12:30Our contestants are trying to find a sock with a minivan in it.
12:33There are 155 socks up on the house and one on my foot.
12:37Alright, who's up next?
12:38He's about to be socked in the face
12:40with having to face some socks.
12:41It's Will Anderson.
12:44Why a minivan, Tom?
12:46Is there, like, a fun play on words there or something
12:48that I'm missing?
12:49One of these socks?
12:50Like, there's not another sock somewhere
12:52that the minivan is in.
12:54That's the sort of tricky thing that you would do.
12:56I'm just going to check there's not another sock somewhere first.
12:58OK.
13:01Tom, you seem to be limping.
13:03Is there a minivan in your sock?
13:05I couldn't possibly say.
13:06Oh, you know what the problem is?
13:08That's why you're limping,
13:09because I believe there is a minivan in your sock.
13:14Sorry to everyone who went to all that fuss
13:16putting all those socks up there.
13:18This sock was not on the house.
13:20Thanks, Will.
13:21Thanks, Tom.
13:28Will, why do you have to suck the joy out of this show?
13:31We're supposed to watch you struggle.
13:33It's OK.
13:34There's more sketch comedy to come in this season.
13:36There's heaps more struggles.
13:38Don't worry.
13:39Allow me this small victory.
13:41All right, so how many socks was that?
13:43I mean...
13:44Well, there are 155 socks in total up on the house.
13:46Yep.
13:47Will took down zero of them.
13:49Wow!
13:53All right, it always gives me a nice feeling
13:55when we've got one left.
13:57No!
13:59And we've already seen someone nail it, so...
14:03Who's last?
14:04Oh!
14:05His last name is my first name,
14:07and his first name is what he loves to do.
14:10Fewer socks removed from the house wins.
14:12Your time starts now.
14:14Oh!
14:15Wait, it's a time task.
14:17I've got to go fast.
14:18That's nothing.
14:19That's nothing.
14:20That looks like a minivan.
14:23That's not a minivan.
14:24Junk!
14:25That's a boat.
14:26That's a boat.
14:27That was a boat.
14:28OK.
14:29It wasn't a van.
14:30You can take a look if you like.
14:33It's a boat.
14:34Is it a boat?
14:35Oh, my God.
14:36Oh, maybe I'm going to be a genius at this game.
14:40Is that a minivan?
14:41No, it's junk!
14:42OK.
14:43Oh, is that a van?
14:44No.
14:45What is it?
14:46It doesn't matter, does it, really?
14:48There's two categories, isn't there?
14:50Van and failure.
14:51That's not a van.
14:52That's not a van.
14:53It's a dumb toy.
14:55I've got to speed up.
14:56Why is that?
14:57Because it's a race, isn't it?
14:59Not really.
15:00Isn't it the fastest time wins?
15:02All the information you need is in the top.
15:04Find the minivan and the sock.
15:05Fewer socks removed.
15:06Oh.
15:07It's not a race.
15:08Oh, I didn't read...
15:09I've not got good reading comprehension.
15:12So now that I know it's not a race,
15:14there's something about that that's broken my spirit.
15:16We could be here for so long, couldn't we?
15:21Just a man with his socks.
15:26I've got a bit of a headache.
15:27You've got a headache?
15:28From doing this.
15:29How does your soul feel?
15:33Mine's a bit sore.
15:34Yeah.
15:35What I'm going to do is I'm going to pull every sock down.
15:38OK.
15:39Yeah.
15:41You're just pulling all of them?
15:43If this is one of those tasks where it ends
15:45and you hand me another envelope...
15:47You think I've got something hidden on me?
15:49Well, it's always hidden, isn't it?
15:51Oh, f***.
15:52What?
15:53There's more socks than you think up there.
15:55Oh.
15:59What kind of socks are you wearing?
16:02They're just white socks.
16:04Right.
16:05I want this to go this way.
16:06Oh!
16:07So you've got them all down. That's quite a feat.
16:09Complete opposite of the task.
16:11You literally could not do worse.
16:13This is a mouse.
16:18Would you like a water?
16:20I'd love a water.
16:21We'll get a few waters.
16:22Thank you.
16:27It's better in the shade.
16:29Mm-hm.
16:31HE HUMS
16:37Matches your shirt?
16:39Yeah.
16:40Not all things match, so that's good.
16:42No.
16:44Should I read the task again?
16:46I think if I was completely wrong,
16:48you would have sort of hinted by now.
16:50Can you let me read it?
16:51You think I would have hinted?
16:52It's behind you.
16:54I don't think there's a trick to it.
16:56I think there's just a van and a sock.
16:58I don't think it's one of those things.
17:00Pretty clear.
17:01Find the minivan and the sock.
17:06Oh, my God, it's a real sock.
17:10What makes you think that?
17:19You don't want to look in.
17:20No.
17:22APPLAUSE
17:28LAUGHTER
17:34No, I do feel silly, yeah.
17:38How long was it?
17:41One hour and 43 minutes.
17:43APPLAUSE
17:48So can you just talk us through the moment
17:50where you realised it wasn't a timed task anymore
17:53and that it was the least number of socks,
17:55and after that, you clearly decided to pull down every sock?
17:59I realised that I had pulled down so many socks
18:02that I've definitely lost,
18:04but that I needed to complete the task to get my one point.
18:09I am aware about what you're...
18:11I do know what you're about to say.
18:13What am I about to say?
18:15I then didn't complete the task!
18:19I know, usually I'm very harsh with my rulings,
18:21but in this really difficult decision
18:24whether to give you zero or one...
18:26LAUGHTER
18:28..I'm going to be slightly lenient this time and give you one.
18:33You deserve it. I will give you one.
18:35Thanks.
18:36So what are the scores for the task, Lesser Tom?
18:38That means Josh gets one point, Lloyd has two,
18:41Anne and Jenny both on four,
18:42and Will wins the task with five points.
18:44CHEERING
18:48I think it's time for some episode scores.
18:50It's a good thing her dad's here.
18:52Jenny's in the lead with nine points.
18:54Yes!
18:55OK, what's up next?
18:57At the end of a sentence, you usually see a full stop.
18:59At the end of this one, it's time for a full slop.
19:14Hello. Hi, Jenny.
19:16Hi, Lloyd.
19:18Hey, boy! I'm here.
19:20Hi, Josh.
19:23Is that, like, a siren?
19:25Red light district.
19:28Go full slop mode.
19:29Go full slop mode.
19:31What does slop mode mean?
19:33Fullest slop mode wins.
19:35You have 20 minutes.
19:36Your time starts now.
19:37I don't know what slop mode is.
19:39Would you like me to look up full slop mode?
19:41Could you please?
19:42There's nothing coming up.
19:43Oh, really? It must be a new thing.
19:44It's a new thing.
19:45All right.
19:46See you later. I'll see you back here soon.
19:48See you soon.
19:50OK, so we're looking not for slop mode.
19:53No.
19:54We want full slop mode.
19:55Yeah.
19:56OK, but we don't really know what it is.
19:58No, I looked it up. Couldn't find anything.
20:00OK, who's first?
20:01Going full slop mode for the first time anywhere on planet Earth.
20:04Here's Will Anderson.
20:07Tom, activate full slop mode.
20:20Oh, please.
20:36Full slop mode goes for a while.
20:38Oh, something went up my nose!
20:45Is that the end of full slop mode?
20:48Might be the end of my career, Tom.
20:51Thanks, Will.
20:55Will, there was a little moment there early on that I really enjoyed
20:58where you literally lent into that task.
21:00I don't think it's full slop mode if the slop finds you.
21:03You've got to find the slop.
21:05Bloody loved it.
21:07I'm just worried about you, though.
21:08Why?
21:09I don't know.
21:10What about now? This is good stuff!
21:13But you're a TV host.
21:14You probably turned down this gig
21:16because you're over there getting slop on your face.
21:18Yes!
21:19How much money do you need me to lend you?
21:21I'm just saying.
21:22I would prefer that than watch you on this show anymore.
21:25I can't handle it anymore.
21:30Just a figure.
21:31What is it?
21:32I mean, that felt a bit real.
21:35I feel like we...
21:36I mean, it's all fun and games.
21:39I know we're having a good time,
21:40but that crossed the line a little bit.
21:42Alright, sloppy seconds.
21:43Thirds, fourths and fifths to come.
21:45But first, a break over which Will's going to tell us
21:48about all the other times something went up his nose
21:51on a TV set.
21:52Back soon.
22:03Hello and welcome back to Taskmaster.
22:06We've been going full slop mode.
22:08Don't know what that is?
22:09Well, neither do we.
22:11Can you explain it better than that, Tom?
22:13Unfortunately not.
22:14It is what it is.
22:16We've seen Will's full slop mode.
22:18Now it's time for another one.
22:19Alright, who's next?
22:20Going full slop mode for the second time anywhere ever.
22:23It's Jenny Tien.
22:24Ooh!
22:25Hi, I'm Jenny.
22:26Summer's coming, so I'm here to remind you about sun safety.
22:30Remember to slip on a T-shirt,
22:32slop on some sunscreen
22:34and slap on a hat.
22:35That's slip...
22:36Slop.
22:40And slap.
22:41One more time.
22:42Slip.
22:43Slop.
22:46And slap.
22:47Slip.
22:48Slop!
22:54And slap.
22:55Slip.
22:56Slop!
23:07And slap.
23:15That was bloody great, Jenny.
23:16Oh, wow.
23:17And I've got fair skin.
23:18I could relate to it.
23:19I mean, that was fantastic.
23:21I can't believe we both, like, creamed ourselves as this task.
23:28I think it was great.
23:29It was such an effective ad.
23:30I reckon we could just use that as an ad from now on
23:32for the Slip Slop Slap campaign.
23:34You know what?
23:35It's so weird when you're being nice
23:37that I genuinely don't know how to react.
23:41I know, it's fun, isn't it?
23:42Yeah.
23:43Well, who's next?
23:44Well, going full slop mode for the equal third
23:46and hopefully last time anywhere ever,
23:48it's Lloyd, Josh and Anne.
23:50Right, I'm wondering whether we can go full slops.
23:54As in, you know, like, full slops, man.
23:57Did you just make this up?
23:58Yeah, I made it up.
24:00One option is sort of, like, to just be lazy.
24:03Like, I really don't want to do what this task is pushing me towards.
24:06You'll get me a beer, yeah?
24:08OK, can I have one too?
24:10I don't care.
24:12It's nice.
24:18Fully slops there.
24:20I'll slop around in the water pretending to be a pig.
24:22OK.
24:23And then you come over with the slops.
24:25What's my character?
24:27Just do, like, a sort of borderline offensive
24:29but not racist country bumpkin voice.
24:32I'm not exactly sure what the lines are, if I'm honest.
24:34OK.
24:36I've got you a beer.
24:40You're just relaxing?
24:41I'm not doing any of your questions.
24:43I'm not doing any show things.
24:45OK.
24:46This is full slops today out here.
24:48Gnarly, dude.
24:49Fully slops, man.
24:53SNORING
25:03I don't think they have to hold the cameras up the whole time.
25:06Get down.
25:08It's not worth it.
25:09The slops are so full today.
25:13Oh, I'm in the ocean.
25:15Oh, oh, me hearty.
25:17It's time to feed me pig.
25:19LAUGHTER
25:28I can't wait to watch them cut this in with other people doing stuff.
25:36Fully slops, man.
25:40I think that's the worst of the task so far, by a country mile.
25:45Is it possible you've mixed up the words slop and slob?
25:49What?
25:51Nothing.
25:58I feel like we've got yet another insight into Anne and Lloyd's home life.
26:02LAUGHTER
26:03So, fully slops?
26:04Yeah, it was totally fully slops, and I just...
26:06I rode that sloppy wave, and I...
26:09I just really leant into it, man, and I owned it.
26:12Yeah.
26:13And then, Lloyd, you were worried the TV show
26:15was forcing you into doing that...
26:17LAUGHTER
26:19..into doing that task which could be interpreted in any way at all.
26:23Easily my least favourite task of the entire series.
26:27That you designated to yourself.
26:29LAUGHTER
26:34OK, now, Josh, you've worked drinking beer into a task again.
26:37Yeah.
26:38I'm worried that you may have...
26:40I'm worried that you may have...
26:42Did you mix up slops with slob?
26:45No, no, no, I was trying to do, like, a sloppy performance,
26:47cos I felt like the task is asking us to go full slop mode,
26:50so it's asking for a lot,
26:52so I thought that, like, what would be slop is to just do nothing.
26:55But that felt like full slob mode.
26:57That's not what I... That's not how I meant it.
26:59That's how it came across.
27:01OK.
27:04One of the things that's happened over the season
27:06is I've got so few points, and I'm doing so badly,
27:09it's like I don't have it in me to fight for points any more,
27:12cos they're meaningless.
27:14So I just score it how you will, Gay Daddy.
27:17LAUGHTER
27:19APPLAUSE
27:24Alright, I should allocate some points. Yes.
27:26Pretty easy. Josh, one. OK.
27:29Two points to Will, just because I'm worried about his career.
27:33LAUGHTER
27:34Three points to Anne, cos, I mean, that's pretty sloppy.
27:37Four points to Lloyd,
27:39because it left a bad taste in my mouth and his.
27:42Jenny gets five points. Obviously, it was a great ad for Slip Slop Slap.
27:45She definitely went full slop mode.
27:47From now on, kids all around Australia,
27:49before they go to the beach, will go,
27:51Mum, Dad, can I please go full slop mode?
27:53I think you've really started something.
27:55Five points to Jenny.
27:57APPLAUSE
27:59Alright, you lazy drunkard, give me another task.
28:02I like my tasks how I like my coffee.
28:04Strong. All week. It's up to you, really.
28:19Good morning.
28:21Hi, Anne. Hi. How are you going? I'm OK.
28:23That's good. You've got mail.
28:25Ooh! Oh, I've never had mail before.
28:27You've never had mail? My first mail.
28:31That's yucky.
28:33Ooh! Oh, that's disgusting.
28:35Spinach, is it? Yeah.
28:37OK.
28:39Oh!
28:44Make yourself look extremely strong or extremely weak.
28:48Most extreme, show of strength.
28:51All weakness wins. You have 20 minutes and your time starts now.
28:56Ah! Oh.
28:58That didn't work. What strengths do you have?
29:01I'm a white, straight man. That used to be enough.
29:04I feel like my natural demeanour is weakness,
29:08so I'm going to try be strong.
29:11Quite a weak person. I think stronger.
29:13I'm going to go for strength.
29:16Strength. An extreme show of strength.
29:18And then maybe we have, like, a fist fight.
29:20Oh. Mano e mano.
29:22Am I one of the manos?
29:24I reckon.
29:27So, four of them went with strength, and Josh, yet to decide.
29:30Yeah.
29:31All right, which strong man or woman are we seeing first?
29:34Does she even lift my spirits when she enters a room?
29:37Most definitely. It's Jenny Tian.
29:39Welcome to the universe's strongest heavyweight championship
29:44of strong physical strength,
29:46where I have been crowned the champion of the universe
29:50by all of the judges from the universe,
29:54and I have won, unlike these losers,
29:57Rubber Duck and Paddle Pop Sleeping Bear,
30:00because they are weak and I am strong,
30:03as you can see with my muscles here
30:06and also my strong moustache and really strong, strong outfit.
30:11And to prove my feat of strength,
30:14I'm really going to get ready for this one
30:17and show you guys how physically strong I am.
30:20I will lift this hammer with one hand.
30:27Wow. Light as a feather.
30:29Oh, my God. So light.
30:32I am really strong.
30:37Wow. No effort at all.
30:45Yeah, your last line there was, wow, no effort at all.
30:49And I feel like we could all see that.
30:54I was just thinking, like, the Olympics,
30:56like the OG Olympics, like Greek, you know,
30:59where they're, like, really, really strong.
31:01And then also the outfit as well
31:03would make me look like that stereotypical Greek strength.
31:08I'm still just reflecting on you calling the ancient Olympic Games
31:11the OG Olympics.
31:13Old and Greek?
31:18Fair enough.
31:19Can I just say, Tom, I don't like complimenting you.
31:22Oh.
31:23But that hammer is so heavy.
31:26It is so heavy.
31:27That thing you were lifting up, it was cool, man.
31:29I hate to ruin my own compliment here,
31:31but it weighs 6.76 kilograms.
31:38OK, that's another part of the showdown.
31:40Deep breaths. Come on. Push, push.
31:42I can see its head.
31:44Oh, it's hideous. It's another ad break.
31:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
31:56Welcome back to Taskmaster,
31:58where five comedians are battling for the right
32:00to own Josh Thomas' butthole.
32:02Sometimes I just have to say it as it is.
32:04Inform us of where we are, please.
32:07Our contestants are trying to look extremely strong
32:09or extremely weak.
32:10So far, Jenny has lifted a big hammer
32:12with absolutely no help at all.
32:15Next, attempting feet of strength
32:17and also strength throughout the rest of their bodies,
32:19it's Will and Anne.
32:21Why don't I try and pull something like a horse?
32:27Pull a horse?
32:28No, like a horse.
32:29As in you're the horse?
32:30Yeah.
32:31All right, Tom, this is the ultimate show of strength.
32:33OK.
32:34I'm going to single-handedly with these two ropes,
32:36so double-handedly, pull this van that is behind me.
32:40But the thing that's going to make it even trickier
32:42as a feet of strength is you are going to be
32:44surrounding me with an array of things,
32:46so I have to actually show strength
32:48to turn them down as well.
32:50OK, could I interest you in a lolly?
32:52No!
32:53OK.
32:54Ah!
32:57Ah!
32:59Tempt me again!
33:00Tempt me harder!
33:01Could I interest you in a vegan sausage?
33:03Oh, no!
33:04You cannot interest me in a vegan sausage!
33:06I am too strong for a vegan sausage!
33:13OK, how are you at scrambling eggs?
33:15Oh, I'm the best!
33:17When do you pay the mortgage?
33:18Most of the time on time.
33:19I've had two slip-ups around Christmas.
33:22And how are you at making muffins with your daughter?
33:24Oh, I'm the best!
33:25And that's it?
33:26That's it.
33:27Tempt me again!
33:28Could I interest you in keys to a 1965 Ford Mustang?
33:31I am more interested, but I am showing my strength!
33:36Ah!
33:38We'll look around you.
33:40Oh, wow, I did it.
33:41Yeah.
33:42Those are all the strengths.
33:44Oh, oh.
33:46That's it, I've had it.
33:48You're on your own, buddy.
33:49OK.
33:50Have a good day, see you.
33:51Man, I actually did not think I was going to be able to do that.
33:54Thank you.
33:55Thanks, Will.
33:56Ah!
33:58Ah!
34:00APPLAUSE
34:05OK, now, Will, is resisting a vegan sausage a sign of strength?
34:08Because I've managed to do it for my entire life
34:12without even thinking about it.
34:14I mean, to be fair, it also wasn't a vegan sausage,
34:17it was made out of plasticine, I believe.
34:20So you double-stacked it there.
34:21You were strong because you were pulling the van
34:23and also because you were resisting treats
34:25that you quite enjoy eating.
34:26The weird thing is I was really sore the next day,
34:29despite the fact that you might have seen
34:31I had a little assistance at the end.
34:33But the idea was to look extremely strong.
34:36Right.
34:37Whereas Anne, you...
34:39LAUGHTER
34:43Neigh!
34:44LAUGHTER
34:46Well, you got no help.
34:47You actually did the work yourself.
34:49I pulled this guy, and how much...
34:51LAUGHTER
34:53Yeah!
34:55APPLAUSE
34:59Yes, I pulled Tom Cashman, and you weigh how much, Tom Cashman?
35:0280 kilograms.
35:03Oh, I pulled 80 kilograms.
35:05APPLAUSE
35:07I would say 80 kilograms are relatively impressive
35:10for a human woman.
35:11Not very impressive for a horse.
35:13But also, I think your horse suit was a cow suit, wasn't it?
35:17I mean, yes.
35:18I think that's how it was originally designed.
35:20I don't want to bring up the patriarchy as well.
35:22LAUGHTER
35:24But I was... I'm a woman.
35:26You've just called a cow.
35:28Oh!
35:30And yet I pulled you.
35:32LAUGHTER
35:34Like I've pulled every man in this industry!
35:37Behind me!
35:39Move!
35:43All right, take us to the next gun show, please.
35:45You are the weakest link.
35:47Hello, it's Josh Thomas.
35:49LAUGHTER
35:50Extremely weak would be like you say something mean to me
35:53and then I crumble.
35:56What do weak people do when they're attacked?
35:58They attack back. I suppose.
35:59So then they get defensive.
36:01So if you did something slightly mean to me
36:03and then I came back and I did something extremely terrible to you,
36:07that'd be quite weak, I think.
36:09OK.
36:10G'day, Josh.
36:11Oh, hey, hey, honey.
36:13How are you doing? No!
36:14How are you doing? No!
36:16Back off!
36:18LAUGHTER
36:22What happened?
36:24What?
36:25No, no, that's a bit in the scene.
36:27Who shits lady? I'm saying the scene.
36:29You've broken the scene.
36:30Why did you do that?
36:32I don't know why.
36:34I don't know.
36:36LAUGHTER
36:39We'll cut that bit.
36:41Oh, no, I...
36:43I don't know why I did that.
36:45I'm sorry, I was just...
36:47I'm very weak and I had a very difficult childhood.
36:52What was the lie?
36:54They were late to pick me up from pre-school and I never got a horse.
36:57That doesn't justify this.
36:59No, but...
37:01I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
37:03Please, I'm going through a lot.
37:05I think I might be gay.
37:07APPLAUSE
37:13I feel like you're sending a confused message.
37:16What I saw was a very strong gay man...
37:20..asserting himself.
37:22Yeah, it's...
37:24Sometimes the greatest strength can come out of weak moments
37:27and I came out and that's my strong moment
37:30and that was my entry.
37:32I was being really strong and I was coming out,
37:34which you...
37:36..are about to do.
37:38LAUGHTER
37:41As we know from people who've watched previous episodes, I'm gay.
37:45LAUGHTER
37:48You happy? I am happy.
37:50I cheered you up, didn't I?
37:52So we're going to accept that as a show of extreme strength.
37:54Coming out. OK, I reckon.
37:56Oh, God!
37:58All right, give us our final grower, shower or knower, please.
38:02Let's hope this show is the only thing he's done weekly.
38:05It's Lloyd Langford.
38:07What I'm thinking is we could have a fight...
38:09OK. ..but I'll win.
38:11Oh. I feel like there needs to be some sort of narrative to it.
38:14Right? OK.
38:16I'm having a night out with my zebra and you're staring.
38:20At the zebra? Yeah, in a sort of lustful...
38:23Oh, I was hoping you were going to say appropriate.
38:26You're, like, coveting the zebra.
38:28So if I've wronged you in regards to this kind of animal,
38:31will you call it a zebra crossing?
38:35Yeah, that's not bad, actually.
38:40Hey, excuse me, mate. Hey. Hey.
38:43Can you stop looking at my zebra?
38:45I'll look at whatever zebra I want. It's a free country.
38:48I don't see any laws about not looking at a zebra,
38:50even if it's your zebra.
38:52We're just trying to have a quiet night out here together. OK.
38:55And you've been disrupted by your perverted glances.
38:58Move away from the zebra.
39:00I refuse to move away from the zebra.
39:02Right, well, I'm going to move you away, then.
39:04Oh, really? Because I'm a strong man.
39:06I'm not a violent person. You've pushed me beyond my limits.
39:09Stop staring at my zebra!
39:11If you stare at my zebra once more,
39:13I'm going to give you the slap of a lifetime.
39:15Right, I've had enough now.
39:18Oh!
39:24Come on, love, let's go home. I've had enough of this.
39:36So, you beat up Tom Cashman.
39:38Is that a sign of...
39:42..extreme strength?
39:44Well, Lloyd punched me 17 metres,
39:47which I looked it up, like, how hard you'd have to hit something,
39:50and it's physically impossible.
39:52Initially, I wanted to do lots of different, like, tests of strength.
39:55You know, like they do in Scandinavian countries
39:58where they have the wife-carrying championships?
40:02I forgot about this.
40:04I carried Tom back and forth across the paddock several times.
40:11On one of the occasions, he farted on me.
40:17He did a full fart on me.
40:19You had my stomach here.
40:21We'd just had lunch.
40:25Alright, well, I guess I should hand out some scores.
40:27Yes, please.
40:28I'm going to give one point to Will, because he was only pretending.
40:31What? That was the whole point of the game, was to pretend!
40:34You've got to be showing extreme strength.
40:36Extreme strength? I pulled a minivan.
40:38You avoided a vegan sausage.
40:41I didn't mention this earlier,
40:43but in actual kind of strongman contests,
40:46they drag trucks 20 times the weight of that van.
40:49You know what?
40:50I just thought it would be a bit of fun to have a little argument.
40:53I don't need your follow-up to tell me...
41:04Alright, and so I'm going to go for two points to Lloyd,
41:07because you beat out someone, and that was impressive,
41:09but it was only Tom Cashman, which was easy to do.
41:11Three points to Jenny,
41:12because I could tell that it wasn't her really lifting the van.
41:17Four points to Anne,
41:18because you actually showed genuine strength.
41:20I did.
41:21As you pointed out, you've been pulling men in the industry for years,
41:27and it's a lot.
41:30It is a lot.
41:31It's a lot to take on, and I'm sick of it.
41:35I've got sore wrists, and I want to host my own TV show.
41:42But it takes a lot of strength to come out.
41:45Josh?
41:46You'd know, yeah.
41:49Five points to Josh.
41:51Yay!
41:55It's time for another ad break.
41:57You can block your ears and shut your eyes,
41:59but what if you miss the part where we come back?
42:01Don't even risk it.
42:02Back with our final task of the show soon.
42:12Hello, and welcome back to Taskmaster.
42:15Someone here is getting ready to sink a strongbow,
42:18chuck a new nose on their new skull,
42:20sniff a butt and pop a Plan B pill.
42:23Goodie.
42:24Listen, Tom, catch us up on who's winning the episode so far.
42:27Well, it looks like this one is between Jenny and Anne,
42:30but Jenny has a two-point lead on 17 points.
42:35All right, up to the stage for our live task.
42:42All right, listen, Tom, what's going on here?
42:44Are we teaching Jenny how to read a clock with hands?
42:48Or she'll read first.
42:49Oh!
42:50Yeah.
42:52Perform a 30-second scene that communicates to the Taskmaster
42:56what time the clock says.
42:58You may only say one word per team member,
43:01and that word cannot be morning, day, afternoon, night,
43:05sunrise, sunset, dawn, dusk, breakfast, brunch,
43:09lunch, dinner, quarter, half, one, two, three, four, five,
43:13six, seven, eight, nine, ten, 11, 12.
43:16Each team will get three randomly selected times
43:19and three scenes.
43:20Closest times guessed by the Taskmaster
43:23to the actual times wins.
43:25Wow, that was so clear.
43:29They get three words, and where are us?
43:31Good question.
43:33One person on your team can say two words each scene.
43:37Well, that'll be Josh.
43:41We're a team.
43:43All right, are we ready?
43:44Taskmaster is averting his eyes.
43:54WHISTLE BLOWS
43:55Oh.
43:56Oh.
43:57Oh.
43:58Work.
44:00Work.
44:01Work.
44:02Work.
44:03School.
44:05I've had enough.
44:08You were late to work and school, so I'm going to say ten to nine.
44:13I mean, come off it.
44:21Almost fell.
44:25Mummy!
44:28Mummy!
44:30Almost.
44:31WHISTLE BLOWS
44:33I don't know, school finishes at 3, 3.30,
44:35so I'm going to say quarter to three in the afternoon.
44:42Oh.
44:51Hang on, is it just me?
44:55I'm waiting for you to do something and then join in like before.
44:58They have to be his words, don't they?
45:00He's said way too many words.
45:02I hadn't started, though.
45:04Yes, you had.
45:05OK.
45:06WHISTLE BLOWS
45:09Sorry.
45:10The Wiggles get the maximum time due to a violation of the rules.
45:19WHISTLE BLOWS
45:20It's a scene.
45:22WHISTLE BLOWS
45:23Almost fell.
45:26Mummy!
45:27Mummy!
45:28Mummy!
45:29Mummy!
45:31Mummy!
45:37I'm guessing it's the exact same time, so I'm going to guess 2.45pm.
45:49Happy New Year!
45:55WHISTLE BLOWS
45:5712am.
46:00Is this our last one?
46:01Yeah.
46:06WHISTLE BLOWS
46:07Bell!
46:08Mummy's here!
46:14WHISTLE BLOWS
46:15I'm guessing it's not the exact same time.
46:18I'm going to go with 3.30pm.
46:20WHISTLE BLOWS
46:24All right, I don't need any more bad improv
46:26to tell me what time it is.
46:27I know what time it is.
46:28It's time for a break.
46:29See you soon.
46:38Welcome back to Taskmaster,
46:39where I've just spent the last five minutes
46:41guessing what the time was.
46:43All right, so what are the scores for the live task?
46:45Well, we're scoring this one by how many minutes
46:47our teams were away from the actual time
46:49that they had to depict.
46:51The Discount Wiggles were 724 minutes away.
46:57The Hoolidoolies, over the course of three rounds,
47:00only 18 minutes away.
47:06So I guess it's up to you how to score them.
47:08Well, that's pretty easy.
47:09I think it's 5-5, 1-1-1.
47:11Oh!
47:15All right, what does that do to the overall scores
47:17for the episode?
47:18Well, it's been a huge episode for Jenny Tian,
47:20but Anne Edmonds gets her first win in the season...
47:23No way!
47:24..with 20 points!
47:27Congratulations, Anne!
47:28Go claim your five things that are great to have,
47:31one of, but progressively worse when multiplied.
47:34Go and enjoy!
47:35Go and enjoy!
47:40And how's the season going, Lesser Tom?
47:43Well, Jenny and Josh, they're scrapping it out with 93 each.
47:46Will's in the middle.
47:47Anne has skyrocketed into second place,
47:49but Lloyd is out in front with 113 points.
47:55That's episode seven done, dusted and in the cupboard.
47:58But what have we learnt?
48:00Well, we all learnt that despite the subtle encouragement,
48:03full slot mode will never catch on.
48:06Josh learnt that despite my harsh exterior,
48:09sometimes I will give one instead of zero.
48:12And Anne learnt that despite common sense,
48:15in this one case,
48:16giving a bloke a pull has gotten her to the top.
48:20Betty Happy returns to her.
48:22She's our winner.
48:23Let's do this all again next week.
48:25See ya!
48:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
48:41No, I don't want this to go on TV.
48:46This might have been a futile request from me.
48:49Wow.
48:50Thanks for being such a good friend, you little dickhead.
48:53I think you showed a different side of you.
48:55You were funny.