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00:00Elderly Jewish people in Ukraine are suffering like I've never seen before.
00:07I want you to see this.
00:09It's nothing different than the old shtetls.
00:13The shtetl was a ghetto back in the Holocaust times.
00:16This is how the people are still living here.
00:19The conditions are unimaginable.
00:21Larisa, an 80-year-old Holocaust survivor,
00:25a woman who was abused,
00:27who was beaten during the Holocaust,
00:29is now suffering and starving to death.
00:32This is what she's going to eat tonight.
00:34Look at this.
00:36Potato peelings, because that's all she has left.
00:39It's heartbreaking to see Holocaust survivors starving,
00:43but there's nobody there to take care of them.
00:46God calls upon us to help them.
00:49He promises to bless those who bless them.
00:52They have nobody else but us.
00:54They depend on us every day for their food.
00:57Please, we need your help.
01:07Okay, Larry, it's time for the theme song.
01:10Uh, not this time, Bob.
01:12You better get on out there.
01:14No, really. I'm not doing the theme song.
01:16What do you mean you're not doing the theme song?
01:19Bob, it's time to wake up and smell the future!
01:25Where are we?
01:27The future.
01:29Wow, the future sure is white.
01:32Yep, the future's been white since the 70s.
01:35Wow, I didn't know that.
01:37So what about the theme song?
01:39Bob, the future holds no theme songs.
01:41Huh?
01:42Theme songs are too predictable,
01:44too repeatable, too ordinary.
01:46The future is about the unpredictable,
01:48the unordinary, the unexpected.
01:51You know why this is funny, Bob?
01:53Uh...
01:54Because it's unexpected.
01:56That's why.
01:57That's what makes this chicken head funny.
01:59You weren't expecting me to put on a chicken head, were you, Bob?
02:02Uh...
02:03Of course you weren't.
02:04If you knew I was going to put on a chicken head,
02:06it wouldn't have been funny.
02:07Well, I don't know about that.
02:09Comedy is like the future itself.
02:11Unexpected.
02:12That's why, in the future...
02:14Uh, Larry, you can take off the chicken head now.
02:17Oh, right.
02:18That's why, in the future,
02:20entertainment will be randomly generated.
02:23Randomly generated?
02:24Randomly generated.
02:26What better way to achieve the unexpected?
02:28I've seen the future, Bob,
02:30and the future is auto-tainment.
02:33The future is now.
02:37Hi, Rusty.
02:38Hi, Ventrilomatic.
02:39Hi, Larry.
02:40Hi, Bob.
02:41Greetings.
02:42Hey, those are robots.
02:45Hey, those are robots.
02:48Affirmative.
02:49Not only that,
02:50but these guys represent the hosts of the future.
02:53Unlike us,
02:54their humor can be truly randomly generated.
02:57Right, guys?
02:58Why did the chicken cross the road?
03:00I don't know.
03:01Why did the chicken cross the road?
03:05Weed eater.
03:07Now that's funny.
03:09That doesn't make any sense.
03:11It's funny because it's unexpected.
03:13Well, whatever happened to
03:15it's funny because it's true?
03:172 plus 2 equals 4 is true,
03:19but not funny.
03:21Guys?
03:22What is the solution to the equation 2 plus 2?
03:24I don't know.
03:25What does 2 plus 2 equal?
03:29Weed eater.
03:31That's a good one.
03:32I don't know about this.
03:34It seems like we got a pretty good thing going,
03:36and I like my job.
03:38I don't want to give it up to a couple of robots.
03:40You can't stand in the way of progress.
03:42It's veggie versus machine, Bob,
03:44and the machine's got the upper hand.
03:46The upper hand?
03:47Yep.
03:48Besides, if you think kids learn a lot with us,
03:50just wait till you see all the great lessons
03:52they'll learn with auto-tainment.
03:54Here's how it works.
03:55Mr. Lunt?
03:56Hi.
03:57I'm the techno-guard of the future.
04:00I've secured future employment
04:02by becoming one of them.
04:06We'll engage the wheel of veggies
04:08and the swarming balls of disorder.
04:11The wheel of veggies will choose a performer at random,
04:14and the swarming balls of disorder
04:16will determine both the topic and the genre of the song.
04:20Okay, robots, techno-guard, take it away.
04:25The future is now.
04:29And now, coming to you live from the future,
04:33it's Larry's Wonderful World of Auto-Tainment.
04:38It's Larry's Wonderful World of Auto-Tainment.
04:44Uh, Larry, I thought you said the future didn't have theme songs.
04:48I did, so you didn't expect it.
04:50And that makes it funny.
04:52Hi.
04:53Starring those adorably amusing artificial intelligence units,
04:57the ventrilomatic and rusty,
05:00with the techno-guard of the future,
05:02Mr. Lunt.
05:04Hola.
05:08The future is now.
05:11The future is now.
05:15Where does a sheep go to get its hair cut?
05:18I don't know. Where does a sheep go to get its hair cut?
05:23So he says, what are you talking about?
05:25That's not my dog.
05:28Please activate courteous recognition sequence for...
05:35the French peas.
05:38It's happening.
05:43With a song regarding...
05:47nautical refuse.
05:52Hello, young love.
05:54It appears there's a problem in the sea.
05:56There's a little hole, and it's accumulating a lot of junk.
06:03Oh-ho!
06:04There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:06There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:09There's a hole. There's a hole.
06:12There's a hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:15See, I told you. Wahoo!
06:18There's a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:21There's a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:24There's a log. There's a log.
06:27There's a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:30But that's not all. We've only just begun.
06:33There's a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:37There's a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:41There's a bump. There's a bump.
06:44There's a bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:47Oh, I love this song, young love.
06:49Wonderfully repetitive, Philippe.
06:51There's a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:55There's a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
06:59There's a frog. There's a frog.
07:02There's a frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:06Oh boy, this is crazy. It's giving nuts, no?
07:09There's a fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:14There's a fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:19There's a fly. There's a fly.
07:21There's a fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:26Oh, I'm getting dizzy. Okay again.
07:29Ah, here we go.
07:30There's a wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:35There's a wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:40There's a wing. There's a wing.
07:42There's a wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:48Oh, SpongeBob, you are looking green.
07:50Not that close.
07:51There's a fly on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
07:56There's a fly on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
08:02There's a fly. There's a fly.
08:04There's a fly on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
08:10There's a fly. There's a fly.
08:12There's a fly on the wing on the fly on the frog on the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea.
08:19Thankfully, the fly is clean.
08:21Oh, yeah.
08:23The harmonizing peas provide a most entertaining demonstration, which serves as a reminder.
08:28How do you sink a submarine full of peas?
08:31I don't know. How do you sink a submarine full of peas?
08:36Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
08:39Oh, you're killing me.
08:41But seriously, folks, next up, we have a very talented performer.
08:45Please welcome...
08:48Ah, great.
08:52Performing a song on the topic of...
08:56Biblical dwarves.
09:04Here we go.
09:05The T.S. was a wee little man.
09:08And a wee little man was he.
09:11Really little.
09:12He climbed up in a sycamore tree.
09:15For the Lord, he wanted to see.
09:17Hello.
09:18As the Savior passed that way, he looked up in the tree.
09:24And he said, Zacchaeus, you come down.
09:29For I'm going to your house today.
09:32Yes, I'm going to your house today.
09:36Hey, what's with the Egyptian thing?
09:40Here we go. One more time.
09:42Zacchaeus was a wee little man.
09:45And a wee little man was he.
09:48Very tiny.
09:49He climbed up in a sycamore tree.
09:52For the Lord, he wanted to see.
09:54Ha, there he is.
09:55And as the Savior passed that way, he looked up in the tree.
10:01And he said, Zacchaeus, you come down.
10:06For I'm going to your house today.
10:09Hey, hey.
10:10For I'm going to your house today.
10:14Look at me.
10:15Oh, I just learned another thing.
10:17Look at me.
10:18Look at me go.
10:19Look at me go.
10:20Oh, Zacchaeus was a wee little man.
10:23But a happy little man was he.
10:26Zacchaeus saw the Lord that day.
10:29And a happy little man was he.
10:32And as the Savior passed this way, he looked up in the tree.
10:38And he said, Zacchaeus, you come down.
10:43And a happy little man was he.
10:46Yes, a happy little man was he.
10:58You know, Zacchaeus and I have a lot in common.
11:01What leads to that correlation?
11:03Well, he was a tax collector in a tree.
11:06And I've got a search protector in my knee.
11:09Oh.
11:11Larry, that wasn't a randomly generated joke.
11:14It made sense.
11:15Kind of corny, but it made sense.
11:18That's odd.
11:20Fascinating.
11:21You do share similarities.
11:22Perhaps you originated from the same parts facility.
11:25Hey, what did you say about my family?
11:28The inferred insult was unintentional.
11:31Oh, I'm just teasing you, big lug.
11:34Oh.
11:35And now a randomly placed random short film on a random topic.
12:28Oh.
12:58Oh.
13:28Oh.
13:58Oh.
14:28Turn, please.
14:48Somebody tell me that was ice cream.
14:50Negative.
14:51That would nullify the irony.
14:53Please repeat courteous recognition sequence.
14:59Archibald Asparagus!
15:02Oh dear.
15:04Reporting a melodious interpretation of...
15:07Military...
15:09Intelligence!
15:11Here we go!
15:24I am the very model of a modern major general.
15:27I'm information, vegetable, animal and mineral.
15:29I know the kings of England and I quote the facts historical.
15:32From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.
15:36I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical.
15:39I understand equations both simple and quadratical.
15:41About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news.
15:44Lot of news, let's see.
15:47With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
15:58All right, hang on!
16:00I'm very good at integral and differential calculus.
16:03I know the scientific names of beings animalculus.
16:05In shortened matters vegetable, animal and mineral.
16:08I am the very model of a modern major general.
16:11In shortened matters vegetable, animal and mineral.
16:14He is the very model of a modern major general.
16:17All right, now stay with me.
16:20I am the very model of a modern major general.
16:24I'm information, vegetable, animal and mineral.
16:28I know the kings of England and I quote the facts historical.
16:32From Marathon to Waterloo in order categorical.
16:36I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical.
16:40I understand equations both simple and quadratical.
16:44About binomial theorem I am teeming with a lot of news.
16:48A lot of news.
16:49With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
17:02I'm very good at integral and differential calculus.
17:04I know the scientific names of beings animalculus.
17:06In shortened matters vegetable, animal and mineral.
17:09I am the very model of a modern major general.
17:11In shortened matters vegetable, animal and mineral.
17:13He is the very model of a modern major general.
17:16Oh, splendid!
17:18Lovely!
17:19Oh, thank you!
17:22I'm done.
17:25The proceeding demonstration of accelerated linguistic output
17:28certainly emphasizes his perspicacity.
17:30I'll say.
17:31I'll say.
17:32Did you hear the one about the asparagus who went door to door looking for work?
17:35That data is not on file.
17:37Well, he meets this one fellow who offers him 50 bucks to paint his porch.
17:40Such a transaction would be deemed equitable.
17:43The asparagus comes back in an hour and says,
17:45I'm finished, but I think you should know your car is a Ferrari, not a porch.
17:50That asparagus was clearly not as intelligent as the asparagus who performed just moments ago.
17:55What do you mean? Of course he is.
17:57It would have taken him twice as long to paint the porch.
18:00That would be dishonest.
18:02What, are you calling me a cheat?
18:04First you insult my family and then you call me a cheat?
18:07Is this another instance of your teasing?
18:10Well, I don't know. What do you think?
18:12The intensity of your reaction is unreasonable.
18:15Oh, so now I'm being classified as unreasonable, huh?
18:18Larry, what's up with Rusty?
18:20I think he might be experiencing technical difficulties.
18:23Technical difficulties?
18:24A host can't experience technical difficulties in the middle of a show.
18:27What's he so wound up about?
18:30I have an idea. Maybe I can cheer him up. Wait here.
18:34Larry, what?
18:35Hey, you're supposed to be randomly selected.
18:38It's an emergency!
18:45You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
18:52You make me happy when skies are gray.
18:59You'll never know, friends, how much I love you.
19:07You have been my sunshine today.
19:16You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
19:21You make me happy when skies are gray.
19:26You'll never know, friends, how much I love you.
19:31You have been my sunshine today.
19:36A little sunshine, God's loving sunshine.
19:41It makes us happy most every day.
19:46Always remember how much He loves you.
19:51Then you can give His sunshine away.
19:56You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.
20:01You make me happy when skies are gray.
20:06You'll never know, friends, how much I love you.
20:11You have been my sunshine today.
20:16You have been my sunshine today.
20:21You have been my sunshine today.
20:31I love you.
20:33Your expression of friendship is reciprocated.
20:36Would you like to see an aardvark singing opera?
20:39Yeah, I'd like that.
20:46A bravo figaro, bravo profissimo
20:48A bravo figaro, bravo profissimo
20:50Fortunatissimo, fortunatissimo
20:51Fortunatissimo, no man c'era
20:53La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
20:56Fortunatissimo, fortunatissimo
20:57Fortunatissimo, no man c'era
21:10I'm sorry for getting mad at you.
21:13Apology accepted.
21:15You're my friend.
21:17Confirmed.
21:18What's he doing?
21:20I don't know.
21:21I think I might have cheered him up too much.
21:23Oh, this is just great.
21:25You are making me uncomfortable.
21:27You are my sunshine.
21:29Incorrect.
21:30I am a random joke-generating artificial intelligence unit.
21:33You are my sunshine.
21:35Incorrect.
21:36I am a random joke-generating artificial intelligence unit.
21:39Please stop hugging me.
21:41Bob, I think Rusty might be experiencing randomly-generated emotions.
21:44Oh, for Pete's sake.
21:45I thought his humor was supposed to be randomly-generated.
21:48Well, yeah, but maybe he has a short circuit or something.
21:51The future's not looking so hot, Larry.
21:53Please give enthusiastic acknowledgment to...
21:58Ah, great.
21:59Oy, not again.
22:03Performing a song on the topic of...
22:08Big band.
22:09Big donkey.
22:13All right, is everybody ready?
22:15Did I ever mention that I used to live in Buffalo?
22:19Oh, yeah, that's true.
22:21Me and my pet mule.
22:23Did I mention I had a mule?
22:25It goes something like this.
22:27I got a mule.
22:28Her name is Sal.
22:30Fifteen years on the Erie Canal.
22:33She's a good ol' wiker and a good ol' pal.
22:37Fifteen years on the Erie Canal.
22:40We've pulled some barges in our day.
22:44Filled with lumber, coal and hay.
22:48And every inch of the way I know.
22:51From Albany to Buffalo.
22:56Low bridge, everybody down.
23:00For it's low bridge when we're coming to a town.
23:04You can always tell your neighbor.
23:06You can always tell your pal.
23:08If you ever navigated on the Erie Canal.
23:12Oh, yeah, it was quite a fifteen years, let me tell you.
23:16We went through a lot of mule chow.
23:19We better get along on our way, old gal.
23:23Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
23:26Cause you bet your life I'd never part with Sal.
23:30Fifteen miles on the Erie Canal.
23:33Get up there mule, here comes the lock.
23:37We'll make Rome about six o'clock.
23:41One more trip and back we'll go.
23:44Right back home to Buffalo.
23:49Low bridge, everybody down.
23:53For it's low bridge when we're coming to a town.
23:57You can always tell your neighbor.
23:59You can always tell your pal.
24:01If you ever navigated on the Erie Canal.
24:04You can always tell your neighbor.
24:06You can always tell your pal.
24:08If you ever navigated on the Erie Canal.
24:12Nice job, Sal. You really know how to carry a tune.
24:16Better than pulling a barge anyway.
24:22Erie Canal.
24:27Oh boy.
24:30Sal, you're on my foot.
24:43Why are you crying?
24:44I don't know. I'm just sad.
24:59Help.
25:01Help.
25:02Alright, that's it. I've had enough.
25:04I'm putting a stop to this nonsense.
25:07Alright everyone, that's the end.
25:09I'm sorry, but this isn't gonna work.
25:12I'm calling off the future.
25:14If I'm looking at it, I don't like what I see.
25:17Randomly generated jokes.
25:19Randomly generated emotions.
25:21This is a big mess.
25:23This has to be the worst day of my show business career.
25:27I'm sorry, Bob.
25:29I was sure this was gonna be the great new way to entertain kids and teach them nice lessons.
25:34Oh, like how to tell nonsense jokes and be emotionally unstable?
25:39Well, no, but they did hear some pretty cool songs.
25:44The cucumber's got a point.
25:46Well, okay, those were some pretty cool songs.
25:50But with all that went wrong, where's the lesson?
25:54Wait a minute. I know something we learned.
25:57Mr. Lunt, would you mind queuing up, Junior?
26:00You got it.
26:02Uh-huh.
26:03Okay.
26:04Sure.
26:07Ready, Mr. Lunt?
26:08Roger.
26:09Fire!
26:12Ow.
26:21In my bed I start to pray
26:27In my bed I start to pray
26:31And tell God all about my day
26:40I woke up in my little bed
26:43And put my head upon my head
26:46I cleaned my room and cleared my dishes
26:50Told Mom breakfast was delicious
26:54I went to school, learned something new
26:58And tried to follow every rule
27:01I studied my vocabulary
27:04Had some fun with Bob and Larry
27:09And so it's good to know
27:14How much you love me
27:18It's true, the Bible says you do
27:23You really love me
27:26Your love was with me all throughout my day
27:40I somehow overlooked my bed
27:44It seems my dog is underfed
27:47Forgot to change my underclothes
27:50Watched one too many TV shows
27:55I had some trouble sharing toys
27:58And during rest time made some noise
28:01The walls are not for coloring
28:04Sometimes I'm off key when I sing
28:10And so it's really good to know
28:15How much you love me
28:19It's true, the Bible says you do
28:23You really love me
28:27Your love was with me all throughout my day
28:40In my bed so quietly
28:46I rest in knowing God loves me
29:09You're right, Larry. We did learn something today.
29:12God loves us no matter what happens.
29:15Yep, if we have a good day or a bad day.
29:18Even if our robots get all goofy.
29:21God still loves us.
29:23Well, Larry, I think it's time to go home.
29:26Yeah, let's go home.
29:29Goodbye, future.
29:31Goodbye, Bob. Goodbye, Larry.
29:39Hey, wait for me.
29:41Can I have my old job back in the present?
29:44These robots are freaking me out.
29:47The future is now
29:51Her present is past
29:55My watch is messed up
29:59It's Larry's Wonderful World of Autotainment
30:05Tainment, tainment
30:09It's Larry's Wonderful World of Autotainment
30:17The future is now
30:21Her present is past
30:24It's Larry's Wonderful World of Autotainment
30:30The future is now
30:34The future is now
30:38The future is now
31:08The future is now
31:38TBN UK, Storytime

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