• 5 months ago

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00:30Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:00oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
01:30It's called the TARDIS
01:34Nice
01:36Well, hold on. I can't call you doctor. No, I want to know your name. Yeah, that's that's tricky
01:42because I was adopted and the planet that took me in they were kind of
01:47They were kind of posh
01:48They'd use titles like the doctor or the bishop or the Rani or the conquistador
01:56Say doctor for a thousand years and it becomes my name, okay
02:00the planet
02:01Parking that thousand years double parked. So you're a doctor you're
02:09The police police box. No, no, no. No, that's the disguise inside. It's a time and space machine
02:15But outside it's it's like a chameleon
02:18It's once I landed in 1963 and he used to have police boxes on street corners
02:221963 yeah
02:25Okay, Oh
02:27Jukebox, I like that
02:30Okay, so back to the planet. My world is called Gallifrey Gallifrey and where's that God?
02:39Ruby it's gone. It's gone
02:45They died it was a genocide and they died
02:49So
02:53The one that was adopted was the only one left I am the last of the time Lords
02:59And I am so so glad to be alive
03:06This thing flies try to see
03:20Let's have a random landing
03:30150 million years in the past. No, really? No, you got because you are kidding. Don't be so ridiculous
03:41And I dinosaurs out there, I don't know go and have a look
03:49Wait, no
03:52Is it safe
03:54What if I change history by stepping on a butterfly summit? Well, that's not gonna happen. Is it you step some butterflies?
03:59You'd literally have to be like
04:02Come here
04:18It's artists stands for time and relative dimension in space, so we've moved location as well
04:28This will be North America
04:32One day, this is Wyoming
04:36Little town called Green River
04:43Oh
04:45What's wrong
04:47Did I do something wrong?
04:49Because I'm Ruben's on blue the 57th hemisphere hatchlings and I do not do wrong things
04:54Doctor if you have made an incorrect accusation, I will have to kill you. No, no. No, it's just wait. Wait a minute
05:02What are you doing nothing just
05:18I'm Iris's summer. Let's try that again. Okay
05:32Okay
05:34Controls are new
05:36completely forgot the butterfly
05:40Compensation switch good, right. Yes. Let's go forward. Give me a number. Give me a year
05:46to
06:01Oh
06:14We've got through walls, uh-huh. It's not like a match on spot like in Star Trek
06:22We go visit them one day
06:25Hey, but you said the TARDIS was like a chameleon
06:29But still it's like a police boat. Oh, it says broken. Most of the universe is not convinced
06:44Something is wrong with this place. It is a space station
06:54I
07:24Run
07:40The question is
07:42Why did I run?
07:44Because it was scary. It was new. I
07:48Love a meeting new things. So why did it give me the shivers?
07:52Couldn't run fast enough. I was a whoosh. Well, it'd help if we knew where we were yet again
07:59push the button
08:16Machine
08:17What is it with you and baby same thing to you I'm from baby to baby
08:23I'm not saying things are connected and yet things connect
08:28well, I'm the one looking for my parents and
08:31You've got a time and space machine
08:34So this place grows babies what for food?
08:39What what?
08:41Food they're not tomatoes. Excuse me. There's a big old thing downstairs baby farms boost the population
08:47Sometimes the world goes sterile or goes mad and bands kissing
08:51So these babies human? Yeah. Yeah going for a colony world and a colony world is not
08:59Okay, one last time
09:02Push the button
09:11Oh
09:19We made the human race we survived
09:26We went to the stars
09:34Ten minutes ago doctor just ten minutes ago. You said genocide
09:42Your people are gone, yeah
09:48How do you keep going days like this Ruby Sunday
09:54I'll have a people. I don't have a home
09:58But I don't have a job either
10:00I'll have a boss or taxes or rent or bills to pay. I'll have a purpose or a cause or a mission, but I have
10:09Freedom
10:12That's why I keep moving on to see the next thing and the next and the next
10:20Sometimes it looks even better through your eyes
10:27So, where's this then
10:33Planet Pacifico del Rio. Oh, that's in English. They speak English
10:39No, no, no humans must be one language by this point a bit like Cantonese
10:43This is what it really looks like, but the TARDIS translates. It's got a perception filter. So it helps you fit into every time and place
10:52Right and my mom she's long gone now. Can I see your phone?
11:01So my son a screwdriver can make the distance between you and earth 19,000 years or
11:09Ah one phone call
11:13What Carla phone your mom Ruby call your mom
11:24Well, what is it now, huh
11:27Yes, mom, obviously. It just ran out the door 10 seconds ago. Why are you phoning me? He went like the wind
11:33Where are you going? Yes, I will
11:35I'll catch you in a minute
11:39That was my mom on Christmas Eve on my birthday 10 minutes ago, that's the best signal ever how much that cost
11:45I want to know what the hell is wrong with this place
11:51Do you see
11:53It's calm up here, but underneath it is seething just like downstairs for that creature
12:05Keep getting these temperature fluctuations
12:0910 to 16 try cross-matching the co2 exchange
12:19You're right
12:24We've been waiting for an awfully long time
12:28I mean
12:30No, no, we're not
12:37Baby farm run by babies
13:00Oh
13:19Everyone back to work show mommy and daddy what a good job. We've been doing make them proud
13:30I'm proud of the pipes and I keep the oxygen nice and cool. We need oxygen
13:36And I pulled this string and that's true. I'm not sure what they do, but I pull them very hard
13:42I made this for you. It's a little flower
13:53I'm Captain Bobby and I kept the station running for mommy and daddy
13:57Because we need to come back for us one day we waited
14:02Right. You're not supposed to be running this clip. This isn't baby world. Yeah, you got left behind when the adults
14:10The mooses we took over we were very brave
14:15right
14:17That's great. That's all that's good. That's amazing. You've done a really great job. I'm sorry puppy
14:24I'm so sorry, but we are not your mommy and daddy
14:27I wish we were
14:29But we're not
14:31Where did they go? I don't know darling
14:35but
14:37I'm Ruby and this
14:40This is the doctor
14:43And we're your friends
14:49You got you
14:57Captain poppy women's the last time that you had a hug. Oh, oh, baby. It's okay
15:28I
15:29Get things wrong doctor
15:32well
15:34According to this the crew went home the abandoned ship and they left you guys behind
15:39I don't know why but they left the growth machine running
15:43So you not grew up, but you stayed the same size
15:46Baby size space babies
15:51What do you mean we're not meant to be like this did we grow up wrong
15:57Bobby popsicle
16:04Nobody grows up wrong
16:08You are what you are and that is magnificent but mommy and daddy left us that's okay
16:1692
16:18Well, I was found
16:22Little baby me was left alone in the middle of outer space
16:28I don't know
16:32Can you say like me I'm not that's it but the point is
16:37Is that it doesn't matter where I come from because I am absolutely lovely
16:43aren't I
16:45That wasn't rhetorical pop
16:48You want to know my secret
16:52There's no one like me in the whole
16:54Wide universe no one like me exists, and that's true everyone
17:00It's not a problem Captain Bob's
17:03It's a superpower
17:05high-five
17:08You're Eric and you're Tasha and
17:12Reuben and then there's salty and boo. I
17:16Love you. Oh, I love you, too
17:20But how do you manage?
17:22All on your own we've got nanny say hello nanny good afternoon children and welcome to our new visitors
17:31nanomatrix electroform nanny
17:33Right. Hi nanny. I'm the doctor and and this is Ruby. We have visitors children
17:40noses must be blown
17:42activate nose blow
17:47One two three
17:53Oh
18:02Well done children and now children back to work nappies are changed at
18:081,800 hours. Oh, can't wait to see that
18:12It's you lot it's nanny and
18:16Downstairs is that your pet dog?
18:22Doggo, what is it then? Eric?
18:36Did not mean to scare you there is no such thing as the bogeyman that thing was more sort of like a
18:52Nanny is scared of the bogeyman. Then what is the bogeyman doing down there? And why why is it so scary?
19:22Nanny these babies are trying their best space babies, but this station is in trouble
19:28You have got a build-up of pressure and hold 3b
19:30There's something is ramping up down with the bogeyman this and if that continues baby boom portal 3 5 7
19:37Okay, what's that access portal 3 5 7 that's on this floor. What is it?
19:44Yeah, it is just a storage unit what would I need to go there for oh for God's sakes 3 5 7 come on
19:52Oh
19:55Where do you think you're going portal 3 5 7
20:00Great, okay
20:02So is this what you do doctor? I mean in life you help. That's like your purpose. No. No, I'm just
20:10Helping babies space babies. Ah, listen to my heart two hearts
20:14Okay
20:17Two hearts, but what if helping the babies take six weeks for
20:21ten years because
20:22My mom's still waiting for me
20:25Back home on your birthday
20:28It's strange your life. You were abandoned like this long
20:32If things connect the you are connecting like crazy
20:38You don't know anything
20:40About your birth mother or your father. They didn't leave a note or a scrap of paper. Nothing else
20:47I was just left by the church
21:11Oh
21:18It's snowing
21:23Okay, what just happened I said snow and we've got snowflakes
21:32It's like a memory just came through here
21:36From the day that you were born
21:40This is the sort of thing that happens with time travel I have been to the ends of time and back and I have
21:47Never seen anything like this before
21:51And what does it mean I
21:54Don't know
21:59Oh, I thought my birth was crazy
22:10I wonder who she is
22:13my mother
22:14The memory changed
22:16She was pointing at me
22:19Said portal three five seven. Don't just stand there yapping you pair of idiots get inside
22:26Who's she nanny
22:30This is captain Rico the estate signing off duty for baby station beta
22:34Pacifica date 56 56 22
22:38For the record, I'm signing off under protest and wish to condemn this course of action chief engineer
22:43Lucia was out signing off 56 56 22
22:46I'd like to say for the record the company's actions are upon me. I will be launching an appeal against this as soon as we're home
22:56This is comms officer Gina Scalzi signing off
23:0056 56 22 so the crew went home and left the babies behind space babies
23:06It's the recession the government closed the baby station to save money, but the law says it's illegal to stop the birth machine
23:15How did you arrive
23:18Have you got a way out of it? I've got shit. Yeah
23:22What is your name? Sorry, Nanny
23:25Jocelyn Jocelyn's on say I was the on-site accountant. I don't know how this place works
23:31This can help if you leave this to sync up
23:35That should recalibrate the whole shebang. Thank you
23:40wanna swap
23:42Anger so the planet down below
23:46Will refuse to stop the babies being born. But once they're born they don't look after them. It's a very strange planet
23:55It's not that strange but you stayed behind
23:57I couldn't leave them
23:59I tried with this place, but I'm not an engineer the machine went out of sync. I patched it back
24:05Then the education software ran out of control. That's a mess
24:10I've been all on my own watching the kids for six years. I don't understand. They are gorgeous. Why would you hide?
24:20I don't want to see them die
24:22And I don't want them to see me die
24:27That's how that is
24:30This is a closed station. There's only so much air. There's only so much food
24:39The last thing I'll do is give them the air out for Portals
24:44I
24:46The last thing I'll do is give them the air out for portal three five seven, but then
24:53And you came along can't you fly somewhere else
24:59What do you mean fly space station stationary
25:02No engines this great big thing can't move
25:05It's just stuck in orbit, which is a shame because this is a nice little system
25:11the fifth planet out
25:13That's the dubari duplessis world. Oh
25:16That's good. The dubari duplessis is a star ride organization means they can take in lots of refugees
25:21Oh, well, can't we call them for help? They don't go fetch refugees
25:26That's the fate of every refugee in the universe
25:29You physically have to turn up on someone else's shore
25:34And we can't move but now you have a ship plenty of room. It's called the tardis the trouble is
25:40You have a ship plenty of room it's called the tardis the trouble is between us
25:46And the ship is the bogeyman
25:50What is that thing
25:52You don't know it's nothing to do with me. It's not part of the manifest. It's not like anything i've ever seen
26:00No, no me
26:02But it reminds me of something. What is it?
26:05And what is it skin made of and why?
26:08I
26:10Was I so scared because it's terrifying. Yeah, but i've met a million ugly bugs
26:13I'm an ugly bug that thing made me run. I just wonder why
26:21Okay thing is this place is completely
26:25Mad, but it sort of makes sense because you've got babies. You've got a nanny
26:31And you've got the bogeyman
26:33You've literally got a monster living down below
26:36It's a children's story come to life
26:42And every story has its hero
26:50That's eric is this eric eric get out of there eric, please vacate this area
26:55Oh, we saw how it works nanny filter eric get out now eric will leave immediately
27:03No, nanny i'm being brave
27:06Oh
27:09Eric for god's sake run evoking the deity accelerate her emulation. I'm doing it on movie sets
27:18All right. I love zumbi. She said there's no such thing as the bogeyman
27:22So i'm going to find the naughty dog and tell him off
27:32But i'm so scared
27:36My god, it's my fault
27:44Eric i'm coming i'm coming i'm coming
27:46I'm coming
28:00Nanny where's the bogeyman? It's about 400 meters northwest of you still no sign of eric
28:06Get a proper fix. I told you these systems are a crock of waste products mind your language nanny
28:12Okay
28:14Okay, doctor if we make a ton of noise then the bogeyman will come for us and leave eric alone. Yes
28:20Yes, okay
28:33It's heard you
28:36Okay, nice plan but what now I think
28:40If I was very very little and I knew the bogeyman was coming
28:47I'm going to change my nappy
28:50Because I can detect
28:53Space baby
29:01I know I know
29:09Yes
29:33It's okay, it's okay
29:39So
29:41Yeah
30:07Go
30:10It's a dead end
30:20Babies
30:40Okay
31:04Okay, uh you you go with them i've got to stay here not just for the tardis but
31:10I've got to find out what that thing is. If that's you telling me to leave you on your own then
31:16Oh doctor
31:20Come on
31:33So, how did this begin jocelyn first I knew six years ago
31:40It was like a rattling in the pipes
31:43Then the howling began by the time I got the cameras working there it was
31:50The bogeyman
31:53I don't know how it even exists
31:56And that was six years ago
32:00That's the same time the babies were born
32:05It's leaving
32:07Is
32:09Some sort of
32:10spore
32:12Man, that's a good word spore. What the bleep bleep is that?
32:17Oh, just in turn the filter off
32:19What is that stuff if I could get this to your machine? It could analyze it machines got a vent in the basement
32:26Follow the corridor left straight ahead left again
32:30Into the valley of the beast
32:33Oh
32:35Yeah, this stuff is slippery
32:42Oh my god, oh, this is disgusting don't call me rubes
32:50Are we almost there joss
32:55This gunk stuff is sealing the whole place off. Oh, but never mind
33:03because
33:04We are right under the part of the genesis machine
33:07All right, man. This makes sense of this thing
33:12According to the machine
33:15Oh
33:16What?
33:17It has been right in front of us. We've been saying it all along. It's all one machine
33:23One up above and one down below the one up above through the babies. So one down below. It grew the bogeyman. Yes
33:28I said this I told you so six years ago
33:30The machine is mother and father to the babies and mother and father to the bogeyman
33:34Why because jocelyn said that the educational software ran out of control and then you said it's like a story
33:38The teaching software told a story it invented the bogeyman for the baby
33:43Space babies. Oh, the machine is literally like a computer. It literally said
33:48Babies need fiction. They need stories. They need monsters. Yes, that is why i'm so scared. It's all deliberate
33:54It's infrasound the bogeyman is roaring at 17 hertz. That's exact pitch designed to make you scared
34:00It's scary because it's meant to be the machine made it tall and big and noisy and it built it
34:06out of
34:13Oh
34:18What oh ruby what oh man
34:24Tell me what it is doctor ruby. I have traveled the universe and back and seen many many things nothing
34:32Is as bad as this
34:35A bogeyman is made out of what I don't
34:39Know the machine is literal and the name is bogeyman
34:44So oh babes
34:46Space babes, he saw it the nose blowing
34:49So
34:53The machine was literal and so it grew the bogeyman out
34:58of bogeys
35:00What all of this is bogeys? No. Yes. No. Yes. No. No wonder it was shedding its skin
35:07Does it everyone? No, no, no
35:10It's not it's not oh ruby. It is a living sneeze. What is it? I know
35:16Oh
35:37Okay
35:46Don't worry, it's me turn, right?
35:52It's your device
35:54It's calibrated. It's brilliant. I've got control at last now. Trust me turn, right?
36:08Catching up
36:16Is
36:22You can tell me later once i've got rid of it
36:30I will protect my children and blast that thing to space
36:38That's an airlock
36:46So
37:05Okay, okay, okay, we haven't got time stop jostling. Yeah left second, right next that you get to the left
37:13Second, right next leg, okay
37:16I
37:34Am the last of the time lords
37:39How do you keep going for days like this
37:42I'm the only one of me in the whole wide universe
37:49No one else like me exists
37:52And that is true of everyone
37:57The only one of his kind
38:00oxygen field at seven percent
38:07Oxygen
38:12Yeah
38:23Oxygen
38:32Oxygen
38:41Oxygen
39:02No, that's what you do jocelyn you save them all oxygen field at one percent
39:09Oh
39:12You save them all
39:15Oh
39:34Attention
39:35calling captain poppy
39:37Calling all crew, especially you eric plus ruby jocelyn sancerre. Honey was really naughty
39:44I know and i'm so sorry all of you
39:50It's just on my own
39:54For such a very long time we still love you, honey
40:03Your favorite monster is fine
40:14I love you
40:19But listen, listen babies space babies your world is over here
40:27The world of montgomery
40:30But but you can't get there got no engines
40:35Except turns out that built-up oppression hull 3b is from you
40:41Huh
40:43Because the system went wrong and that's where it stacked up all your nappies
40:47No wonder it was stinking down there for six years a great pile of nanny filter. So
40:54A zillion metric tons of methane babies space babies, but I am gonna let it rip
41:11Oh set sail for your new home baby world
41:18You're happy now eric i'm very very happy. I love you ruby
41:33So it's a normal day for you then no, no that was extra special nuts
41:40And you ruby sunday
41:45Get this your very own tardis key what for
41:52I have the whole universe at my fingertips
41:58And i'm all on my own
42:02So I'd love it if you came with me
42:06To
42:09What just
42:11Travel your job
42:13Your boss
42:15Just fun. We did almost die. Yes, but we lived so much too. Yes, we did
42:22Yes, we did yes, yes we did
42:27Yeah, we did we did we did
42:29Yes
42:32Yes, yes, yes, yes
42:46Right mate, let me tell you where we're gonna go
42:51Except oh terms and conditions
43:00There is one thing that I can never do ruby
43:05And I'll take you to that church
43:08on ruby road
43:10that christmas
43:14Absolutely never
43:19But you've got a time machine if you change one thing
43:23A single snowflake that could change your birth mother's story and then you would never meet me
43:29None of this would ever happen and we would fall into the deepest
43:34Darkest paradox ruby trust me
43:38I think that snow is a warning
43:43I can and I won't
43:52Well, it's a pity
43:54Because I disagree
43:57And if you let me finish
44:00We are gonna go see my mom
44:02at christmas
44:04Right now
44:06Come on
44:09And ruby phoned she said I love you and ran off no word from her since what sort of christmas is this
44:16It all started with this man. He called himself the doctor
44:21All right
44:24What's that noise
44:38Hi you mommy
44:40What are you doing? And what the hell is that? What's it done to my kitchen?
44:45Hey come and say hello. Yes. Come in
44:48Tell your mom not to slap me
44:54You
44:59Yes now the people from my world they use titles
45:04Like the bishop the pedant the saggy. She
45:07my name was
45:24Happy rolling studios
45:27Everything's going dark. If music is going that means everything is changing. That's what they could say. He said my legions
45:33Are coming
45:35I can't fight this thing
45:53So
46:23You