"The Thin Blue Line," released in 1995, is a British sitcom created and written by Ben Elton. The show is set in the fictional English town of Gasforth and follows the comedic antics of the local police force. Starring Rowan Atkinson as Inspector Raymond Fowler, the series portrays the humorous day-to-day activities and relationships of the officers, including the strict Sergeant Patricia Dawkins (played by Serena Evans) and the dim-witted Constable Kevin Goody (played by James Dreyfus). Known for its witty dialogue and satirical take on police procedures, "The Thin Blue Line" combines slapstick humor with sharp social commentary, making it a beloved classic in British television comedy.
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00:30OK, give me more pressure!
00:42Great, great, guys.
00:44Wonderful.
00:45God, that man can handle a horse.
00:48Yeah, well, they're just doing their job and I really think we should be doing ours.
00:53Look what I found dropped outside the house.
00:56What?
00:57What?
00:58It's a dead match, Maggie, a dead match.
01:01Now, what does that tell you?
01:02It tells me somebody dropped a match.
01:04So, we have a dead match and we have a fire.
01:07Do you see the connection?
01:09Right, I'll give you a clue.
01:10Two syllables, the first one is arse.
01:12What do you think the second one is?
01:14Brain?
01:15Yes, exactly.
01:16What we have here is a case of arse brain.
01:20People drop matches all the time, Kevin.
01:23Evening, officers.
01:24Nasty little fire.
01:25Old lady dropped a chip pan full of burning fat.
01:28God knows, we try to tell them.
01:30Don't drop chip pans full of burning fat, we say.
01:33It must be heartbreaking for guys like you who have to pick up the pieces.
01:38Well, you tell yourself it's a job.
01:39Walk away, Gary, walk away.
01:42But saving lives is a heart and soul thing and you can't just walk away from that.
01:46Listen, I've been eating burning flames and acrid smoke all day.
01:50You fancy a brew?
01:51Yeah, that'd be lovely.
01:54Yes, I see.
01:56Your briefing for this evening's neighbourhood watch meeting, sir.
02:00You say you were involved in the recent armed robberies?
02:04The brains of the outfit, you say.
02:06I see, and your name?
02:09Al Capone.
02:15Yes, thank you, Mr. Capone.
02:17Should you have any further information,
02:19could you ring Dr. Vijay Nareem at Gasforth Psychiatric Hospital?
02:24Thank you, goodbye.
02:26God save us from these lunatics.
02:29What lunatics are those then, Raymond?
02:32Your officers.
02:35I'm being pestered by a hoaxer.
02:38One minute he claims to have killed Kennedy,
02:40the next he's having morning coffee with Lord Lucan.
02:44Oh, well, pity the poor plod, eh?
02:47Funny, isn't it?
02:49Here we are, both coppers,
02:51except you deal with pretend criminals and I deal with real ones.
02:56As it happens, I'm about to crack the biggest case of my career.
02:59Oh, really, Derek?
03:01I hope you'd like to illuminate me.
03:03No can tell, Raymond, top security.
03:05Oh, well, suit yourself.
03:07All right, I'll give you a clue.
03:09But this is hush-hush, winky-winky and all that.
03:13Two syllables.
03:15Error and ism.
03:21Sir, it's the bomber.
03:23He's on the line and he wants to talk to you.
03:25Ah, ah, security, Cray, need-to-know basis.
03:28Use the code.
03:30Sorry, sir, Mr Bang Bang is on the line.
03:33That should cover your trail.
03:35I've routed the call through to Special Branch, sir.
03:37Keep them on the line, I'm going to trace the call.
03:39Hello.
03:40Quick, pen, pen!
03:43Right, I think he's given me a code.
03:45He's asking if I want garlic sauce.
03:48Sorry, sir, I think I've given you the wrong phone.
03:53I've just ordered a kebab.
03:58Hello?
04:01Hello?
04:03Well, then the ambulance guy said the old lady was a goner.
04:06But I soon brought her round with a bit of intensive mouth-to-mouth.
04:09Lucky old lady.
04:12Oh, God, I'm sounding really stupid.
04:14Yes, you are.
04:15So how about you, then, Kevin?
04:17You ever saved anybody's life?
04:20Yes, I have, actually. Lots of people.
04:22Oh, yeah, Kevin, how's that, then?
04:24Well, there was this village and their water supply was poisoned
04:27and I got lots of fresh stuff to them
04:29and saved hundreds and hundreds of people, actually.
04:31Wow, Kevin.
04:34Incredible. How did you manage that?
04:37I don't really want to talk about it.
04:39Oh, come on, Kevin.
04:41How did you do it?
04:43I sat in a bath full of baked beans and made £50 for comic relief.
04:55Sergeant Dawkins?
04:57Darling?
04:59I fear I shall miss supper again tonight.
05:01I have a neighbourhood watch meeting.
05:03Yes, I know. I'm going to make a stew.
05:05I'll leave some in the slow cooker.
05:08Lovely, delicious.
05:10What a splendid thought.
05:13Or else I could just stop off at a takeaway, you know, to save you that trouble.
05:16It's no trouble. I've already diced the turnips.
05:21Good. Good.
05:23So, that's settled, then.
05:25Warmed-up stew.
05:27What a treat.
05:29Much better than bringing home some dull old chicken tikka masala
05:34with Rogan Josh and fluffy naan bread
05:39and pilau rice, lots of crispy poppadoms
05:43and pickle chutney, cool, cool cucumber raita.
05:48Heh.
05:50Thank goodness I won't be trying to force that number through tonight.
05:53Now I'm having lovely stew.
05:57Yum.
05:59Unless, of course, it's just too much trouble.
06:01I said it's no trouble.
06:03Make yourself a curry, if that's what you want.
06:05I've no desire to spend my evening scrubbing your root vegetables.
06:10You don't appreciate my cooking.
06:12Appreciate it? I adore your cooking.
06:15Why, that lamb casserole you left in the pot for me last night
06:18was absolutely fascinating.
06:23It was chicken chasseur.
06:25Yes, I see. You see, your cuisine is so intriguing.
06:29Raymond, I'm busy.
06:31Yes, well...
06:33Well, we've both had a busy day.
06:35Let me tell you, Sergeant Darling,
06:37I'm looking forward to getting into bed tonight.
06:41Really, Raymond?
06:43Dear me, yes.
06:45A chapter of John Bucken and a chocolate hobnob
06:47look pretty good from where I'm standing.
06:52So he says,
06:54God save us from these lunatics.
06:56And I says,
06:58What lunatics are those, then, Raymond?
07:01Your officers?
07:07Superb, sir.
07:09Don't tell me any more.
07:11Someone's got to use this seat next year.
07:21Ladies and gentlemen,
07:23thank you all very much for coming.
07:25Before we begin, I'd just like to set your minds at rest
07:28about one or two popular misconceptions
07:30about the Neighbourhood Watch scheme.
07:32Rest assured, this is not a busybody's charter.
07:36The police are not encouraging people
07:39to spy on their neighbours,
07:41to view all strangers with suspicion,
07:44or to complain loudly about anything or anyone they don't like.
07:48That takes our morph.
07:56Wow, Maggie.
07:58You look great, really great. What a babe.
08:00Thanks.
08:04Do you fancy a quick one?
08:08No, I mean a drink.
08:10Well, thank you, Mr Biggs.
08:13It was good of you...
08:15It was good of you to call all the way from Brazil.
08:20I'm sorry.
08:22It was good of you to call all the way from Brazil.
08:26Nice boobs.
08:28Shoes, shoes!
08:31God, I didn't say that, did I?
08:33Did I say boobs, did I?
08:36Well, you haven't got nice boobs.
08:38Well, I mean, you have.
08:40You have got nice...
08:42Oh, God, sorry.
08:44Yes, I'll certainly remember you to Chief Superintendent Slipper.
08:49All phantom criminals, Raymond.
08:51As the real police work going, Constable Craig.
08:54Not bad, sir. It paid to ring around.
08:56Oh, yes.
08:57Yeah, I've got a woman here who says if we buy family size instead of standard,
09:00we get a free drink with every pizza.
09:04I'm talking about the investigation into urban terrorism.
09:09Grassford Police Station.
09:11I'll have you know, Grim, that we in the uniform division
09:14are also at the cutting edge of modern policing.
09:17Oh, dear.
09:19Well, have you tried putting a saucer of milk at the bottom of the tree?
09:28No?
09:29Well, how about shaking the branch?
09:33I'm off now, sir. Good night.
09:35Ah, you look very splendid this evening, Constable Habib.
09:39Meeting someone special?
09:40Perhaps, sir. I've met this fine...
09:43Boo!
09:47Are you ill, Constable Goody?
09:49Oh, no, sorry, sir. A touch of wind, I think.
09:53Well, I'm not surprised.
09:54You seem to exist entirely on fizzy drinks and crisps.
09:58I shudder to think of the state of your bowels.
10:02Now, get on with your work.
10:05So, a fireman, eh, Constable?
10:07Well, I applaud your choice.
10:09A splendid body of public servants.
10:11I never cease to be thrilled when I attend the scene of a fire
10:15and amid all that fear and passion,
10:18some giant of a man emerges from the heat
10:21carrying a helpless damsel in his arms.
10:24Laying her down, planting his mouth upon hers
10:27and applying himself with rhythmic vigour
10:32until she moans and gasps.
10:36And then we know that all is well.
10:40Of course, nothing like that's going to happen on a pleasant evening out.
10:44Well, we live in hope, don't we, sir?
10:50Constable Goody, if I'd wanted a dead halibut for a colleague,
10:55I would have become a fishmonger.
11:00Pat, someone to see you, Maggie.
11:02Oh! Hello, Gary.
11:04Pat, this is Gary. His name's Gary.
11:07Hi, babe.
11:09Oh!
11:11Hope I wasn't late.
11:13I had to rescue six tiny children from a burning bedroom this afternoon.
11:17Gosh, Gary. Amazing.
11:19Normally not a problem, but the stairwell was a furnace
11:22and I had to lower the kids down the outside wall using my braces.
11:25Gosh, Gary. Amazing.
11:27You know, the real funny thing was
11:29that afterwards, while the terrified mother was thanking me brokenly,
11:32my trousers fell down.
11:35Gosh, Gary. Amazing.
11:38Where's Kev?
11:40Well, I didn't mention it to him that we were going out.
11:43You know, to his company, and he's a berk.
11:46Hi, Kev.
11:48Fancy a pint? Or ten?
11:51He doesn't want a drink. Come on, Gary. We should be going.
11:54Doesn't want a drink? Of course he wants a drink. He's a copper, isn't he?
11:58Oh, unless, of course, he's one of them whoopsies.
12:01One of those fruit-flavoured water-on-a-tubber cottage cheese merchants.
12:07Actually, I'm very, very busy.
12:09I've got a lot of important work to do here.
12:11I'm at the very cutting edge of modern policing, mate,
12:13and believe me, it's tough out on those mean streets, all right.
12:17Councilman Goody, your duty report on this morning's tuck shop disturbances
12:21at Old Saints Entrance is a disgrace.
12:24There's an H in walnut whip,
12:26and crunchy is spelled with an I-E, not a Y.
12:31Sir, we've located Mr Bang Bang. We've traced his call.
12:34Yeah, well, I hope you've got telecom to chase the right line.
12:37I don't want to get Special Branch down to raid your kebab shop.
12:42Special Branch, is it, Derek? Sounds exciting.
12:46Perhaps I can help.
12:48I don't think so, Raymond. Different disciplines, you see.
12:52Me, detective. You, plot.
12:56Quite frankly, covert operations are tricky enough without uniforms
13:00making their size 12 boots in and fannying about.
13:05Sorry, mate, but you do understand, don't you?
13:07Yes. Well, I didn't really have time, anyway.
13:09Lots to do, lots to do.
13:11Sir, I've got those doggy-do details you asked for.
13:16Pavement fouling is really getting out of hand, sir,
13:19and personally, I think it's time we stamped on it.
13:25Oh, thanks, Kerry. It's been lovely.
13:29I think maybe I drank a bit too much.
13:31Now, were you trying to get me tiddly?
13:33You don't have to try too hard with a girl who drinks tequila
13:36straight from the bottle.
13:38Yeah. Sorry about that.
13:40Right, I'll be off.
13:42Oh, are you not coming in for a coffee?
13:44I've got a packet of condoms. I mean, biscuits.
13:46Oh, dear.
13:48Let's be off.
13:52I'll put her on the station tomorrow, all right?
13:55Yeah.
13:56Bye. See you.
14:02Was that rat-faced.
14:04I waved goodbye, went bum-up over the privet
14:07and flashed me frillies at the dirty curtain twitcher at number 29.
14:10Sounds like a big night.
14:12Is there anything you woke up regretting?
14:14Yeah, that I didn't shag him.
14:21Do you always do it on a first date?
14:23Well, of course not.
14:25Obviously.
14:26But he's so gorgeous, Pat.
14:28And really handsome.
14:29Oh, he looks great in his helmet.
14:31I'm surprised they can find one big enough to fit him.
14:33No, you've got him all wrong, Pat.
14:35He's lovely.
14:36I mean, all right, he's a bit full of himself,
14:38but he's a decent bloke.
14:40I mean, last night, I was offering it on a plate,
14:43but I was drunk and he didn't take advantage.
14:45I mean, how many blokes at the end of an evening
14:47would leave you alone like that?
14:49Not even try for a kiss?
14:51Morning, everyone.
14:56Everything's coming together, sir.
14:58We've got a surveillance team in place
15:00and special branch have taken their position.
15:02Christ, I haven't been so excited
15:04since they introduced the American-style siren.
15:09Morning.
15:10Morning, sir.
15:11Another day dawns in our ceaseless battle
15:13with the forces of anarchy and chaos.
15:19There's a helmet on my hook.
15:21Somebody's put a helmet on my special hook.
15:23Sorry, sir, I wasn't thinking.
15:26You're a police officer, Goody.
15:28You should be thinking all the time.
15:30Supposing the forces of anarchy and chaos
15:32had turned up while you weren't thinking.
15:34They'd have thought it was Christmas, wouldn't they?
15:37Yes, I suppose so, sir.
15:39You suppose, right, sir?
15:41A policeman's hat is not just something
15:43to be hurled about the place willy-nilly.
15:45It is crowning glory.
15:47On personal loan, I might add, from the police.
15:50And I might add, from the Queen.
15:55It must be cosseted and cared for,
15:57the badge polished and the fabric brushed.
16:00I take my hat very seriously.
16:02Likewise, my hat hook.
16:06May I have a word with you and your men, please, Ryman?
16:08By all means, Derek.
16:09I'm always keen to encourage interdepartmental communication.
16:12Thank you very much.
16:15This afternoon, officers from this station
16:19CID officers,
16:21led by Detective Inspector Grimm,
16:24i.e. me,
16:27will deploy ourselves operationally
16:29in a suspect arrest scenario,
16:32vis-a-vis and apropos of
16:35a terrorism containment action
16:37in conjunction with operatives
16:40operatives and personnel from special forces.
16:44And for those English speakers amongst us...
16:47..me and Special Branch are going to nick a mad bomber.
16:51Right, that is all. Craig, Crockett, follow me.
16:58Well, we can only hope that their endeavours are crowned with success.
17:05There was a time when I was destined for Special Branch, you know.
17:08Oh, yes, that was very much what my instructors at Hendon had in mind for me.
17:13The drug war, counter-terrorism, that sort of thing.
17:15Oh, what happened, Inspector?
17:17What happened, Goody?
17:19A little thing called ordinary policing, that's what happened.
17:22A little thing called the day-to-day business
17:25of protecting the public and keeping Her Majesty's peace.
17:29Not glamorous, I dare say.
17:31Not sexy.
17:34But what we do at this station every day
17:36is every bit as important as preventing a bomb attack.
17:39We're all part of the thin blue line, isn't that right, Inspector?
17:43That's right, Goody.
17:46The only difference being that your bit of the thin blue line is slightly thicker.
17:54Well, Craig, this is it.
17:56A terrorist containment operation.
18:00Craig?
18:02Robert?
18:04If I don't come back, I want you to...
18:07If I don't come back, I want you to go to my wife and...
18:11and see that she wants for nothing.
18:14What do you mean, give her one?
18:16No, I don't mean give her one.
18:19Just tell her...
18:21Just tell her I love her.
18:23You sure, sir?
18:25I mean, the most delicate of deeds, isn't it?
18:27We're partners, Robert.
18:29Like Starsky and Hutch or...
18:32or Peters and Lee.
18:35Is there any last thing you want?
18:37I mean, if you...
18:39Well, I've got a couple of videos out, sir. You can take them back for me.
18:47I wonder how they're getting on with Special Branch.
18:50Wish I was there.
18:52Never mind about Special Branch, laddie.
18:54We've got a lot of extremely important work to do here.
18:56Interesting case here, sir.
18:58A woman in Gallipoli clothes reckons a bloke opposite has trimmed his head
19:01into the shape of a bottom.
19:05He says it's a peach.
19:08Yes, thank you, Gladstone.
19:10Sir, sir! We can listen to Inspector Grimm's terrorist raid on the radio, sir.
19:13It's brilliant!
19:15Turn that off, boy. It's none of our business.
19:17We have plenty of work to do here.
19:19And what's more work than is every bit as important as any performed by Special Branch.
19:22Today's criminal, no matter how lowly,
19:25is sophisticated, high-tech and computer literate.
19:29A cunning and complex foe.
19:32I have the right to a lawyer and a bucket.
19:35Quick, quick, Goody, get the man something to be sickened to
19:38before he does it on my desk.
19:46Oh, no!
19:48Sorry, sir, I'll try and clean it up.
19:50Leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it!
19:52At lunchtime, you'll take that to be dry cleaned at your own expense.
19:55You, come with me.
20:02Sergeant Dawkins,
20:04why was this inebriate allowed past the front desk?
20:07Because he's a sad, useless excuse for a man.
20:09I thought you might get on.
20:13Look, we've been through this.
20:15I had a neighbourhood watch meeting last night.
20:17I was extremely tired.
20:18You're extremely tired every night!
20:20Well, look, I'm sorry, but I am what I am.
20:22I'm not a sex machine.
20:26And I cannot be expected to make love willy-nilly every fortnight.
20:32The operation was a complete success!
20:37Vis-à-vis and apropos of our objectives,
20:40they're bringing the prisoner in now.
20:42What's more,
20:44he's in the charge of a commander of special branch.
20:48A commander of special branch?
20:50In our station? Oh, yes.
20:52And he's asking to speak to the uniformed officer commanding.
20:56Well, we must find him immediately.
20:59That's me.
21:07I'm about to greet an extremely senior colleague.
21:10How do I look? Smart?
21:12Very smart, sir.
21:13Good. Don't want these Scotland Yard wallows looking down on us.
21:16I must look my absolute best.
21:23Oh, my God, my hat's full of sick.
21:29Oh.
21:33Jam it down, sir, jam it down.
21:36If you don't take it off, you'll be fine.
21:48Good afternoon, Commander. I'm awfully sorry to keep you.
21:51Inspector Fowler, I presume.
21:54Commander Crowley, special branch.
21:58So, madman, don't you remove your hat
22:00when addressing a senior officer?
22:04No, sir.
22:07I am a Sikh.
22:15I am forbidden to bear my head.
22:18I see.
22:20Well, no disrespect intended.
22:22Now, look here, your colleague, Inspector Grim here,
22:26has pulled off a superb piece of work.
22:28He has located a man he strongly suspects of being a terrorist.
22:32And what we require from you, Fowler,
22:34is the use of your facilities.
22:36I see. Well, that'll be a pleasure, sir.
22:38It's second on the left.
22:41And you're very welcome to use the liquid soap
22:43marked Fowler's Keep Off.
22:46Not those facilities, you bonehead, the cells.
22:50Of course, I understand. Let me show you, sir.
22:53Your prisoner, Detective Inspector Grim.
22:55Thank you, sir.
22:57Ah, yes, Fowler, there is one thing you can do.
23:01Sir?
23:02Get your uniform dry-cleaned.
23:04It smells like a drunk's thrown up in your hat.
23:09So, fancy a drink after work, then?
23:13Sorry, Kevin. I'm going out with Gary.
23:15He doesn't like you for yourself, you know.
23:17He's only interested in one thing.
23:19Well, you're wrong there. He's a nice bloke.
23:21He's even nice about you, as it happens.
23:23He says we should take you out with us.
23:25I said forget it.
23:26I'm not having you hanging about like the last turkey in the shop.
23:32Please, don't bother to knock.
23:34Sometimes formalities have to take second place
23:36to the urgent business of counter-terrorism, Fowler.
23:39I was lucky you didn't come in through the window.
23:45Grim, you don't smoke.
23:46Ah, yes, I do sometimes. I smoke sometimes, certainly.
23:51Right. MI6 will be arriving shortly to interrogate the prisoner.
23:56I'm leaving you in charge till I get back.
23:59I'm going into town to buy a leather jacket.
24:04Excuse me.
24:05The lady from the Latimer Estate neighbourhood wants to see you.
24:09Dear, oh, dear, Raymond, I don't know how you stand the pace.
24:12You should slow down.
24:15You'll do yourself a mischief.
24:18Who asked us to report anything unusual going on?
24:21And I think gangs of coppers with guns
24:23running all over Mr Dibley's petunias is unusual.
24:27And, of course, you're absolutely right, Mrs Rabbit.
24:30However, I can assure you that Special Branch
24:32had very good reasons indeed for making the arrest.
24:35I know all about what Mr Dibley's been up to.
24:37You do? Oh, yes.
24:39He told me.
24:40He's always going on about the crimes he's done,
24:43always boasting about them.
24:45Of course, we all thought it was lies.
24:47I was amazed when all those coppers turned up.
24:52You poor bloody fool.
24:54You don't know what you've caught here, do you?
24:56Name a crime.
24:58Well, you've been arrested on suspicion of planning terrorism.
25:00That was just kid stuff. Name another.
25:03The Great Train Robbery.
25:05Oh, you're smarter than what I thought, copper.
25:08Yep, that was one of mine.
25:10Go on, give us another one.
25:11The assassination of President Kennedy.
25:13Me again?
25:14Yes, thank you, Mr Dibley. That'll be all.
25:16No, I've got a lot more to talk about here.
25:18Do you know that second world war?
25:20I started that.
25:23All I can say, Fowler,
25:24is you have saved me from complete and utter ridicule.
25:28If you had not uncovered the fact
25:30that our terrorist was one of these insane hoaxers,
25:33I could well have ended up looking like a beautifully uniformed turd.
25:38Yes, I can imagine the Director of Public Prosecutions
25:41picking one or two holes in the confessions of a man
25:43who claims to have decapitated Charles I.
25:48As for you, Grim,
25:50you are a disgrace to the service
25:52and I hope I never set eyes on your fatuous features ever again.
25:56Does that mean that perhaps you won't be recommending me
25:59to join Special Branch, sir?
26:00That is the first correct deduction you have made
26:03since joining the force. Congratulations.
26:05Congratulations.
26:10I hope you kept the receipt for the jacket.
26:14Frankly, Maggie, after what you told me about last night's performance,
26:17I'd be surprised if he turns up at all.
26:19Hi, babe.
26:21Sorry I'm late.
26:22Tough day.
26:23Had to save some nuns from a burning convent.
26:25Oh, Kev, you're so amazing.
26:27I told those nuns,
26:28don't play with candles,
26:29cos I won't always be there to put out the fire.
26:33You know, Kev,
26:34that uniform really suits you.
26:37Yes, well, anyway,
26:39so, Gary, where are you going to take me?
26:41Well, I thought Kev might know a decent boozer.
26:43You know, a real ladsy place.
26:45How about it, mate? Can I buy you a pint?
26:47He's not thirsty!
26:49Maggie, that's the terrorist!
26:52That's right!
26:53So, er, nobody move!
26:56I'm armed and I'm dangerous
26:58and I'm going to take a hostage.
27:00Who's he going to be?
27:02Take me!
27:03No, Maggie, you're too beautiful to die.
27:05Take me!
27:06No, Kev, you're too beautiful to die!
27:08Take me!
27:14What is going on here?
27:15Watch out, Raymond, it's the terrorist!
27:17He's armed!
27:18I appreciate your concern, Patricia,
27:20but this man is no more a terrorist
27:22than I am Joanna Lumley.
27:24He's, in fact, a loony.
27:29Now, get out.
27:30And if I ever catch you lying to the police again,
27:32it'll be wormwood scrubs for you.
27:35Prison can't hold the Birdman!
27:38Go away.
27:43Well, I think you might have told me you were gay.
27:47You must have known I liked you.
27:49Exactly, I thought we were friends.
27:51But it turns out you're only after one thing.
27:53And you aren't interested physically in girls at all?
27:56Not interested, not capable.
27:59Not even if I put it in a splint.
28:02So you fancy Kevin.
28:04Kevin fancies me.
28:06And I fancy you.
28:10Well, I'll go and get the dominoes, shall I?