Rumpole of the Bailey. S05 E06. Rumpole and the Quality of Life.

deaddogsmoking

First broadcast 28th December 1988.  Rumpole defends Lady Perdita Derwent, charged with the murder of her elderly husband.  Leo McKern ... Horace Rumpole Julian Curry ... Claude Erskine-Brown Peter Blythe ... Samuel Ballard Q.C. Marion Mathie ... Hilda Rumpole Jonathan Coy ... Henry Richard Murdoch ... Uncle Tom Denis Lill ... Mr. Bernard Abigail McKern ... Liz Probert Michael Grandage ... Dave Inchcape Maureen Darbyshire ... Dianne Denys Graham ... Hoskins Robin Bailey ... Mr. Justice Gerald Graves Rowena Cooper ... Matron Richard Cordery ... Marcus Griffin Q.C. Avril Clark ... Nurse Gregson William Squire ... Sir Daniel Derwent Helen FitzGerald ... Lady Perdita Derwent (as Helen Fitzgerald) Constance Chapman ... Barbara Derwent Caroline Goodall ... Helen Derwent Robert James ... Dr. McAndrew Jeillo Edwards ... Lady Cashier William Lawford ... Usher Arthur Blake ... Court Clerk Patricia Hodge ... Phyllida Erskine-Brown Joanna Van Gyseghem ... Lady Marigold Featherstone Maurice Denham ... Wedding Guest Moray Watson ... George Frobisher Peter Cartwright ... Wedding Guest

Transcript

00:00This is Rumpole and the quality of life. The young wife of a painter, a famous painter,

00:12is accused of murdering her husband and she is being defended by Sophie Sam Ballard, the head

00:21of Chambers, with Rumpole taking a second place as Sophie Sam Ballard's junior barrister. A lot

00:31of other things are going on in Chambers. Miss Probert wants to get her boyfriend into Chambers

00:37and she hits upon the ruse of pretending that he's gay because then it would be terrible

00:42discrimination not to have him and you want to watch the scene where a very nervous Erskine

00:49Brown tries to deal with welcoming this person who is believed to be gay.

01:19Rumpole and Sophie Sam Ballard are accused of murdering Rumpole and Sophie Sam Ballard's junior barrister.

01:26Rumpole and Sophie Sam Ballard are accused of murdering Rumpole and Sophie Sam Ballard's junior barrister.

01:33Rumpole and Sophie Sam Ballard are accused of murdering Rumpole and Sophie Sam Ballard's junior barrister.

01:40Editor. The fish. Oh no. Didn't it arrive? No it didn't. I can't think why. Probably because you forgot to order it.

02:08Don't expect it to come to an accord do you? I didn't forget did I? Did I? Don't move. Sorry Daniel. It's really too bad of you.

02:17You know how Daddy looks forward to his fish pie. It's really not too much to ask is it? Just to

02:22ring up and order the fish. It's not worth bothering about. There's no need to make such a fuss. We'll have eggs.

02:37Hell and death. Again. Now if we could just run through your routine Mr Rumpole. Breakfast.

02:49Oh generally at the Tasty Bite in Fleet Street. Fairly light affair. Excellent. Couple of eggs. Fried slice. Fried slice?

03:01Three or four rashes of bacon. That's all I hope. Oh yes. Apart from the sausage and tomato and the toast marmalade and coffee yes.

03:10Let's have you up from the skills then. Lunch. We only get an hour for lunch so it's a bit of a snack as it so happens.

03:23A salad perhaps? Who am I to take food from the mouths of starving rabbits? A quick steak and kidney pud at the pub opposite the Bailey.

03:33A few boiled potatoes, some cabbage. I find a pint of draughtiness keeps the strength up at lunchtime. And then nothing at all until dinner.

03:46Nothing. Good. Well unless you count small crumpets at tea time.

03:52There have been times Mr Rumpole when I have known indulgence in a small crumpet at tea time to make the difference between life and death.

04:02Drink. Oh thank you very much. No. Do you drink apart from non-alcoholic beverages? Oh I hardly touch them.

04:12But Pomeroy's very ordinary claret in my medical experience keeps you astonishingly regular. The point is do you want to drop down dead?

04:28Sometimes. What? When I'm doing a hopeless rape say under the icy stare of Judge General Graves.

04:37But on the other hand when I've got the medical evidence on the run and the jury on my side on those days I can tell you Horace Rumpole could live forever.

04:46Well he would. No. How long you do depends on the diet I'm going to give you. No wine. What?

04:58No meat, fish, eggs, bread, butter, milk, sugar or pastry of any kind. I see. And how do I manage without food?

05:13Thin ovite. A fat free energy cereal. Mix it with water and have as much as you like. Make a pig of yourself on it.

05:22Oh I can't wait. I hope to see a lot less of you in a month's time.

05:53Daniel? Dan? Oh darling.

06:08Pick him up Rumpole. Pick what up? Pick up your feet. One, two. One, two. I just walked the entire way from Liverpool Street along the river.

06:17Come on now. Chin up. Swing the arms. Whatever is the matter? The war's over Winnie. The war may be over Rumpole but the battle for fitness goes on.

06:25I mean to introduce a new scheme of health education in Chambers. Know what I've got in this briefcase? Copy of the spy capture?

06:31No. A device for expanding the chest. I intend to use it during the odd free moment. Keep the chest open. Keep the lungs free.

06:39It is my duty as your head of Chambers to prolong my life as much as possible. Oh really? Why should you want to do that?

06:46I can't let you fellows in Chambers down. Oh well we wouldn't want to put you to any trouble.

06:50Anyway I can't let you down Rumpole. Not now that I'm leading you. You're what? Well haven't you heard?

06:57Oh terrible business. Murder of Sir Daniel Derwent RA. Yes. Well-known painter. Well certainly tell me. I know nothing of these things.

07:04Yes yes I'm leading you. Well I only hope you can keep up. One, two. One, two. I shall be leading you from behind.

07:13Traffic jam in Islington Henry. And do you know what caused it? A procession of gay and lesbian demonstrators demanding more services off the rates.

07:23Why is that funny? I say isn't it funny? I don't see that it's at all funny. What's my hair got to do with it?

07:30It looks jolly nice actually. Much softer and well more feminine. Congratulations. Oh for God's sake Claude. Give us a break.

07:37Why shouldn't the Islington Council provide gay and lesbian counselling? Just think what they save you in education. Radiant. You're looking radiant.

07:46Of course I'd expect you to be against it. I'd expect discrimination from you Claude. Discrimination? Oh yeah.

07:52How many gay and lesbian members have we got in these chambers? Well none I hope. I mean I think. No no I'm sure.

07:58There you are then. Discrimination. Well perhaps it's just that we don't get that many gay and lesbian applications.

08:04Well I'd like to see what would happen if we got one. Just one. I can imagine your middle-class middle-aged male attitudes bristling.

08:12Middle-aged? Liz did you say middle-aged? Sexual discrimination. Comes in a packet Claude with middle-aged spreads.

08:20I love it when you're angry. Come for a coffee later on. I'll let you pay for yourself. Improve your attitudes Claude. That's all you need.

08:35Lady Derwent. The allegation the prosecution makes against you in this case and an extremely serious one it is as I'm sure Mr. Rumpole would agree.

08:47Wouldn't you Mr. Rumpole? Get on with it father. Yes there you are I see. The allegation is that you deliberately administered a massive overdose of the drug diamorphine to your husband who had recently made a will in your favour.

09:01Now the question is Lady Derwent did you administer that fatal dose? Be careful. I would advise you to be perfectly frank with your legal advisers madam.

09:11Well hmm did you? Just a minute. Mr. Ballard if I may make so bold as your mere junior. Well Rumpole what is it? A word if I may in your shellac.

09:24Here.

09:34Don't ask her that. What? Whether she pumped her husband full of diamorphine to lay her fingers on a bit of ready cash what a tactless question.

09:43But isn't that what this case is all about? Of course that's what it's all about. That's why you don't ask. Why not? In case she says yes.

09:51But then we'd know what the case was all about. Exactly and I'd be back in chambers unemployed having fantasies about steak and kidney pud and you'd be back doing motor insurance.

10:01First rule in murder old love. Never ask the customer if they did it in case they tell you.

10:08Our Lady Derwent. You met your husband when he was professor of painting at St. Matthews didn't you? Yes I was a student.

10:22He fell in love with you very understandably. I don't know about that. I fell in love with him. And then he got a divorce and married you. You were what 24 at the time? 23.

10:34And then his daughter Helen came to live with you. She's about five years older. I'm afraid Helen always resented me rather. She thought I'd taken Daniel away from her mother. It wasn't like that at all.

10:47No of course not. They'd separated before you met him. Yes they used to separate and come together. It was never happy. When it finally ended well Daniel's wife was very bitter.

11:00Was Helen bitter too? I think she worshipped her father. She didn't make it particularly easy for me. So did you resent your husband having his daughter to live with you? Were there quarrels about that Lady Derwent? Were there?

11:15Daniel hated quarrels. I did my best not to have them. I suppose Helen wanted to take over the running of the house just like a mother had done for so many years. You understand.

11:25Oh I'd have to understand her if I'm going to cross-examine her. I imagine I will be cross-examining Miss Helen Derwent. It will fall to me as leading counsel for the defence.

11:34Yes but just in case you're feeling a bit tired when we get to that stage. I don't anticipate feeling the least bit tired. No I don't. Not at any stage. Oh don't let's look on the black side. Don't you raise your voice to me.

11:46Mr. Rumple. Mr. Ballard is briefed as leading counsel in this case according to our client's previous solicitor's instructions. Mr. Barnard there is a case that has gone down in history as the Penge Bungalow murders.

11:59If you consult the relevant volume of notable British trials you will see that I brought victory home in that case alone and without a leader. Lady Derwent.

12:11I believe you also live with your mother-in-law Mrs. Barbara Derwent. How do you get on with her? I've always loved Bunty. She was so kind. She never criticized me or made me feel a fool about the house or anything.

12:24And she was so pleased when Daniel and I got married. She said Imogen had been the most terrible snob. That's the First Lady Derwent. Yes. Bunty wasn't a snob at all.

12:34She'd been a dancer when she was young in the chorus. Of course you'd never guess that now. She's got so fat. Funny isn't it? Yes well we we all change Lady Derwent over the years.

12:48We can't all get many laughs out of it. Don't you have a biscuit or a few peanuts about it? Of course. Lady Derwent we've all had cobs of the post-mortem result on your husband.

13:00A medical evidence. He was apparently suffering from an illness which gave him a relatively short time to live. Yes doesn't make sense. I've been trying to work it out.

13:11Danny loved life so much. Everything about it. He loved his work and I think he loved me. What doesn't make sense is the idea of you killing your husband for his money when he was going to die anyway.

13:25I suppose that's something that might even occur to you. We have also seen seen copies of this this pamphlet or circular which was apparently found among clothes in your bedroom. It is a work entitled Across the River.

13:40I honestly don't know how I got there. I've never seen it before. It appears to advocate euthanasia. Yes well it's been most useful to have this little chat with you Lady Derwent. The troubled soul in a state of acute pain or terminal illness may need to be helped across the river into a less troubled country.

13:57Yes well we must be getting along now Lady Derwent. As a matter of fact the fact of the matter is I'm not feeling altogether up to snuff. Mr. Rumple you look decidedly unfit sir. What is it? Mr. Rumple. Oh I shall be alright Lady Derwent. You and I will probably be alright.

14:19Now Bernard I hope you'd like to run us back to Temple in your sturdy little motor. I say wait for me will you. I say wait wait for me.

14:29Our doctor only wants to keep you alive Rumple. Does he honestly call this living? Thinner bite and a crisp of bread. It's better than being dead. That's the doctor's point. Ah but is it?

14:51Is not being dead enough Hilda? Battery hens aren't dead. Chained up fattening pigs and crated up veal calves aren't dead. Even Judge Graves down at the old Bailey appears to be still breathing. If you look closely life isn't enough Hilda. Not per se. A fella's got to have something to live for. Some fine and nobling enriching experience.

15:15Like steak and kidney pudding you mean? You've made a funny. Yes all right like steak and kidney pudding. Poison.

15:28Two pounds water please. Is that your breakfast Rumple? Yes I'm in the hands of a dotty doctor who wants to keep me alive at all costs. Sounds reasonable. Oh really from you I would have thought people of a certain age ought to be bagged up and put out for the dustbins.

15:54And one large sugar bun. I'll get you into our chambers Dave I promise you. It just takes a bit of organisation. There's a man called Claude Erskine Brown. To be honest he reckons he fancies me. Liz you don't mean to say you'd use sexual manipulation. It's all in a good cause Dave. We can work together on the rent inquiry into our hamlets.

16:20Well you wouldn't mind going for an interview with Claude would you? I'll tell him you're not black. Liz for you I'd go for an interview with the Lord Chancellor. Oh don't worry Claude's not a bit like the Lord Chancellor. For one thing he can't seem to keep sex off his mind.

16:34Come.

16:47Inchcape? Yes Dave Inchcape. Dave of course. Well Dave hi. Erskine Brown Claude. Sam Ballard's busy on a big murder so he's asked me to interview you in his room as deputy head. That's very kind of you.

17:07Oh well think nothing of it Dave. Why don't you sit down. Over here.

17:24Well Dave fact is Liz Proberts had a long talk to me about you. Great girl Liz. She's tremendously keen that we shouldn't have any kind of discrimination in chambers. I mean we shouldn't be against you simply because you're what you are.

17:46What am I? Well what you are entirely through no fault of your own. You mean young? Well yes young I suppose and well these things are no doubt decided for us at a very early age.

18:08You mean wanting to be a barrister? Well that and it's a matter of the sort of genes you get born with biologically speaking. You think I was born with the barrister's genes?

18:24Very good that. Very funny. Of course you lot always have had a marvellous sense of humour. Well I expect you want to know a bit about my experience. Good heavens no. You don't? No no no. I take the attitude Dave that your experiences are entirely a matter between you and well whoever you've had the experiences with.

18:49Well Tompkins in Testament building. Now please don't tell me it's absolutely none of my business. You mean Tommy Tompkins? Yes I was with him for about a year. But I thought Tommy was married to a lady magistrate.

19:08Well so he is. Does that make a difference? Well not nowadays I suppose. The way I look at it is this. Dave my attitude is there's no essential difference between us. Except you've had a great deal more experience than me.

19:26Oh. Oh no no I wouldn't say that. But of course I do have the children. Young Tristan and Isolde. A perpetual joy. Named after Wagner's star crossed lovers of course. Dave you can't know what it's like having little ones around you?

19:48No I'm sorry. Now please don't apologise. No one's going to blame you. Think what you save us on the rates. What? Well by not having children. Now in my view you're absolutely entitled to counselling services. Well I'll be reporting to Ballard and I'm sure we'll be able to squeeze you in.

20:09Well I don't mind sharing a room. Well not with me I'm afraid. That would hardly do would it? Now perhaps we can put you in with Liz Probert. Then you wouldn't have any distractions. Well thanks Claude. Thanks very much. Not at all. That way out. Dave.

20:40It was about the noon of a glorious day in June when our general rode along us for to form us for to fight. Our general? General Ballard what am I landed with? A commanding officer with about as much talent for old Bailey warfare as a sheep in holy orders. Body building.

21:01Don't do a thing except prolong the life of Ballard unnecessarily. Courage building that's what's needed. The talent to draw the sabre and charge into the gunfire of Judge Gerald Graves. Into the mouth of hell. Can't see Ballard doing that. Cannon to right of him. Cannon to left of him. Ballard would sneak off home and exercise with his chest expander.

21:31It's your big case today isn't it? I just saw Sam Ballard going up to the roving room. That must have been a treat for you matron. Oh it was. He was looking wonderfully fit was our Sam. Well I suppose it's a case of follow my leader for you today isn't it Mr. Rumple. You ought to look after yourself you know. Aren't we letting that naughty tummy of ours get a little bit out of hand. I'm vanishing into air. Into thin air. Thank you matron. That's all right my dear. I'd like to keep you company.

22:01People watch fly on all my barristers.

22:06Yes Mr. Marcus Griffin. May it please you my lord. Members of the jury in this case I appear with my learned friend Mr. Arthurian Daigle to prosecute and the defense is in the able hands of my learned friend Mr. Samuel Ballard who's ably assisted by Mr. Horace Rumple his junior.

22:26Members of the jury this case concerns the death from a massive overdose of diamorphine of Sir Daniel Derwent RA the well-known painter.

22:37He had made a will leaving his entire estate a considerable sum of money members of the jury something well over two million pounds to his wife Perdita the defendant in this case.

22:50He had made no provision for his mother Mrs. Barbara Derwent his daughter from a previous marriage Helen though these two ladies lived with him at number one Ruskin Street Chelsea as members of his family.

23:03He made provision for them during his lifetime.

23:05I know I know it's in my brief.

23:07Yes but the jury doesn't read your brief. Get up and tell them.

23:11Horace.

23:12Don't do a resume. Get up and get on your legs. Why don't you? Make your presence felt.

23:15Our time will come.

23:16Yes by then it'll be too late. The jury will believe that Perdita's a bloody little goatee guy.

23:21Mr. Ballard I think your junior is trying to tell you something.

23:25I'm extremely sorry my lord. I apologize most sincerely for any interruption.

23:31No need to apologize.

23:32Sit down.

23:33Mr. Ballard I can't hear your junior.

23:35Sir Daniel Derwent made a very generous financial disposition on his mother and daughter during his lifetime. Can your lordship hear me now?

23:46My lord that would appear to be correct. Thank you Rumpole.

23:49Of course it's correct. It would also be correct if the prosecution presented the facts of the case in a full and fair manner to the jury at this stage and not try to color the evidence by a one-sided account.

23:59That will do Rumpole. My lord any mistake I may have made was quite unintentional.

24:04Provided it is accepted that this prosecution is capable of mistakes.

24:09Mr. Rumpole my understanding is that you appear here as junior counsel to your learned and very experienced leader Mr. Samuel Ballard.

24:19Yes some very funny things happened to him apparently.

24:21Quiet Rumpole.

24:22My lord that is perfectly correct.

24:24Continue with your opening speech Mr. Marcus Griffin entirely in your own way.

24:30Members of the jury the deceased and his wife occupied separate bedrooms.

24:36When he was ill he couldn't sleep.

24:38Following articles were found in the defendant Lady Derwent's bedroom.

24:42A hypodermic syringe and a quantity of empty ampoules which had once contained diamorphine.

24:51These were found in Lady Derwent's bedroom cupboard.

24:55In one of her drawers there was a further discovery.

24:58A pamphlet apparently produced by a society advocating euthanasia.

25:04It's entitled Across the River and in it the effects of overdoses of various drugs used to relieve pain are freely discussed.

25:14Members of the jury you will hear evidence about the matrimonial relationship of this couple.

25:20I've told you they occupied separate bedrooms.

25:23Because he couldn't sleep.

25:25You wish to interrupt again Mr. Rumpole?

25:28No my lord I'm quite prepared to let the prosecution continue with its inaccuracies.

25:33Our time will come.

25:37Nurse Gregson.

25:39What time did you call that afternoon to give Sir Daniel Derwent his injection?

25:43I arrived a few minutes after four o'clock.

25:45Was Lady Derwent in the house?

25:47Oh don't leave please.

25:49Who was in the house?

25:51Miss Helen Derwent.

25:52The deceased's daughter?

25:54And his mother.

25:55And Lady Derwent was there one couldn't help noticing her.

25:59Why not?

26:00She was sitting on a chair my lord stripped naked to the waist.

26:04Am I to understand this young lady was sitting among the family with her bosoms unclosed?

26:11That is right my lord.

26:13Is that a criminal offence?

26:15Mr. Rumpole?

26:16I'm merely asking for a legal direction my lord.

26:18At the moment this evidence seems to be utterly irrelevant.

26:21Mr. Berlard is there any way in which you can discourage further interruptions from your learner junior?

26:29I can only say I will do my best my lord.

26:32Thank you Mr. Berlard.

26:34You should be very much obliged.

26:36And you saw Sir Daniel Derwent?

26:38Oh yes he was there.

26:40He was painting his wife's portrait.

26:42Painting unclosed bosoms an unfortunate habit of artists through the centuries.

26:47Mr. Berlard?

26:48My lord?

26:49I think Mr. Rumpole spoke again.

26:54That may very well be so my lord.

26:56See to it Mr. Berlard.

27:00Nurse!

27:01Horace as your leader I order you to keep quiet.

27:03Be quiet I'm trying to hear the evidence.

27:05Diamorphine as Dr. Harmon had prescribed.

27:08Nurse I understand this was a top-up injection as he was in considerable pain.

27:13Yes it was.

27:14The family had a hypodermic and might have done the job themselves but they always got me to do it.

27:20They were a little bit squeamish when it came to using a needle.

27:24Was that the hypodermic syringe they kept but didn't use?

27:28I imagine so.

27:32Did you have a considerable quantity of diamorphine ampoules in your bag for use on other patients?

27:37Yes I did.

27:38Were they all contained in wrapping similar to those?

27:41Yes they were.

27:44After you'd given the injection what did you do?

27:47I went out into the hall with my bag and I was putting on my coat when Mrs. Derwent senior...

27:54The deceased's mother?

27:55Yes.

27:56Asked me if I'd like to stay for a cup of tea.

27:59I said I would and I went back into the studio.

28:02I left my bag in the hall.

28:04Leaving your bag unattended?

28:06Yes.

28:07Mrs. Derwent senior went out to make the tea and Lady Derwent was given a break from sitting.

28:14She put on some kind of wrap and went out to help her mother-in-law.

28:20What about you?

28:22Oh I stayed in the studio.

28:24Did Sir Daniel leave the studio at all while you were there?

28:29I couldn't be certain.

28:31If he did it was only for a few minutes.

28:33Did Miss Helen Derwent leave it?

28:35Oh no. I'm sure she didn't.

28:37And how did the visit end?

28:40We all had tea in the studio.

28:42Then I collected my bag and went home as it was my last call for the day.

28:47And the next morning?

28:49I checked my bag and discovered a large quantity of diamorphine ampoules were missing.

28:55I also heard on the news that Sir Daniel had died in the night.

28:59Yes.

29:00Thank you Nurse Gregson. Just wait there.

29:05Come on Bella. This is your big moment.

29:12Nurse Gregson.

29:17Was there any particular question?

29:19Could Sir Daniel Derwent have injected himself with the overdose

29:24if he had enough diamorphine and a hypodermic syringe?

29:27Ah yes. Nurse Gregson.

29:29If Sir Daniel had managed to get hold of enough diamorphine and had that syringe

29:35could he not have administered the overdose to himself?

29:39I suppose he could have done it.

29:42Could he have left the studio and taken the drugs from the bag when it was in the hall?

29:46Ah yes. Nurse Gregson, let me ask you this.

29:49Might Sir Daniel have left the studio while tea was being prepared?

29:54Your bag was in the hall. He might have taken the ampoules from it.

29:57I have said he might have gone out for a few minutes. That's all.

30:00Sit down. Shut up. Don't spoil it.

30:02And you admit that he could have injected himself?

30:06He could have. But I don't think he did.

30:09Leave it alone, Bella.

30:12Tell the members of the jury, Nurse Gregson, why don't you think so?

30:16Sir Daniel had a horror of hypodermic needles, my lord.

30:19I'm quite sure he could not have done such a thing on his own.

30:22Couldn't have done such a thing on his own.

30:26Thank you, Nurse Gregson.

30:28Yes, thank you, Nurse Gregson.

30:30Well done, my lord.

30:32A learned leader scores an own goal.

30:37Ah, good day to you both. Good day.

30:40Humming

31:11One, two. One, two. One, two. One, two.

31:16A couple of ideas for the cross-examination of Helen Doan.

31:19One, two, three. One, two.

31:21Bella!

31:25Good God. Stunned by his own chest expander.

31:31I should have warned him. Exercise can prove fatal.

31:37Operator, put out an urgent call for Matron, please, will you?

31:48Matron.

31:50Maty.

31:52No, he passed at poor light.

31:54After effects of concussion, muscle pulled in the back.

31:57A mere shock. Doctor's recommendation.

31:59Two days' complete rest.

32:01Poor fellow. He's been so wonderfully brave about it.

32:04Never a thought of self.

32:06Well, not our lovely Sam Ballard all over.

32:09We can finish this case in two days if the evidence keeps going at this rate.

32:13The only thing he's worried about is letting you and the clown down.

32:16He's no idea how you're going to get on without him.

32:18No, I don't suppose he has.

32:20Almost his last words as we got him into the ambulance were,

32:23well, of course, Rumpel will ask for an adjournment.

32:26An accident in the Queen's Council's robing room.

32:31I never imagined that was a particularly dangerous environment.

32:35So you're asking for an adjournment?

32:37My instructions are quite clear, my lord. I am to carry on.

32:41My junior is Miss Liz Probert.

32:44I guarantee that she will not interrupt.

32:46You are to carry on, Mr Rumpel?

32:49None other, my lord.

32:51Mr Marcus Griffin, what have you to say about this?

32:54If Mr Rumpel is determined to carry on,

32:58as he seems to be,

33:00I do not see how he can be prevented from doing so.

33:03Cannot be prevented?

33:05I'm afraid you may be right.

33:08Very well, let's get on with it, shall we?

33:12I have been waiting to do that for some time, my lord.

33:18Finally, Miss Derwent, where did you find those three articles

33:22which my lord has on the desk before him?

33:24The wrappers for the ampoules and the syringe

33:27were in my stepmother's bedroom cupboard.

33:29The pamphlet was in a drawer among her clothes.

33:32Mr Barnard.

33:34In the morning office.

33:36This group, this across-the-river society,

33:39threaten them with asserting anything

33:41but get a list of their membership.

33:44I'll try.

33:45Don't try, old darling. Now we're alone.

33:47Succeed.

33:49Mr Rumpel, if you won't cross-examine this witness,

33:52Just a few questions, my lord, yes.

33:55Miss Helen Derwent, you didn't approve

33:58of your father's second wife?

34:02She was very young and feckless.

34:06I suppose he was besotted with her in a way.

34:09I suppose some men might enjoy being besotted.

34:12Perhaps.

34:14By feckless, you mean by incompetent?

34:18Totally incompetent.

34:20On the very night my father died, for instance,

34:22she'd forgotten to order the fish.

34:24Oh, dear.

34:26It may not sound much,

34:28but my father looked forward to his fish pie on a Friday night.

34:31Of course, Perdita had forgotten to order it,

34:34so we had to have omelettes.

34:36Who cooked them?

34:37What?

34:38Did Lady Derwent cook the omelettes?

34:41Perdita?

34:42Yes.

34:43Of course not.

34:45She was just about up to boiling water.

34:47I think Granny cooked them.

34:49Adjust the omelettes.

34:51He had some malagatoni soup Granny had made the day before

34:54and a treacle tart.

34:56Is there anything else you want to know?

34:58What's the matter with me?

35:00I can't stop thinking about food.

35:02I would like to ask you a little more about your father.

35:05His work meant a lot to him.

35:07Oh, it was his whole life.

35:09But his increasing illness meant that a time was coming

35:12when he would not be able to cook.

35:14That might be so.

35:16Well, now, might not an artist

35:18who sees the end of his talent

35:21realise that he had nothing left to live for

35:24and decide to take his own life?

35:26Have you considered that possibility?

35:29Daddy never mentioned suicide.

35:31Well, didn't mention it to you, perhaps.

35:33Or to anyone else, as far as I know.

35:36Besides, he still had a lot to live for.

35:38Ah, you mean his happiness?

35:40Well, yes.

35:43Ah, you mean his happiness with a beautiful young wife?

35:46No, I did not mean that.

35:50On the morning after your father's death

35:52you went upstairs by yourself.

35:54While Lady Derwent was talking with the doctor

35:57you searched her room.

35:59I took a look around in there, yes.

36:01You had a look around

36:03in the hope of finding something to incriminate your stepmother?

36:06No.

36:07Then why?

36:08I had often thought

36:10the Perdita would not be able to face

36:12looking after my father through his final illness.

36:14She was just too young and incompetent.

36:17Infectless.

36:18Is that the word you'd use?

36:20Exactly.

36:22So, it often occurred to me

36:24that she might try and

36:27well, help Daddy out of this world.

36:31Especially if it would be to her financial advantage.

36:36Did Daddy tell you

36:38that he'd left all his money to his young wife?

36:41He said that, yes.

36:43After having made generous provision for you and his mother?

36:46That's been agreed by the prosecution.

36:48We needn't waste time on that.

36:50Your lordship is always helpful.

36:54You know something, I expect, of the law of wills?

36:57I know little.

36:59Do you know that if Lady Derwent is found guilty

37:01of the murder of her husband, she will inherit nothing?

37:03We all know that, Mr. Rumpel.

37:06Oh, I'm sorry, my lord.

37:08I didn't know the jury had passed all the bar exams.

37:11Mr. Rumpel.

37:13And if she is found guilty,

37:15the two million pounds will be equally divided

37:17between you and your grandmother.

37:20Are you suggesting that these exhibits,

37:22the broken ampoules, the syringe and the pamphlet,

37:26were never in your client's bedroom at all?

37:29Your lordship goes so quickly to the heart of the case.

37:32That is, of course, the truth of the matter.

37:34You found those empty ampoules, didn't you,

37:36near your father's body?

37:37And the hypodermic syringe and the pamphlet

37:39was that there as well?

37:40What exactly are you accusing me of?

37:42Mr. Rumpel, may I remind you

37:44of the evidence Nurse Gregson gave?

37:46This witness remained in the studio with the nurse

37:49the whole time the medical bag was left unattended.

37:53She had no chance at all of removing the dimorphine ampoules.

37:58Oh, I quite agree with that, my lord.

38:00I'm not suggesting for a moment

38:01that Helen Derwent killed her own father.

38:03What are you suggesting, may I ask?

38:05That she put those exhibits in my client's bedroom

38:08so that some gullible jury might convict her of murder, my lord.

38:13Oh, really?

38:14And who do you think killed my father?

38:17As I think the jury will think

38:18when they've heard all the evidence,

38:20your father took his own life

38:23when his painter's hand refused to obey his commands.

38:29Hilda, I am conducting an important murder trial.

38:34Alone now, thank God, without a leader.

38:37Bollard having knocked out his few brains

38:40in the pursuit of a longer life.

38:42Tomorrow, I hope to make a final speech to the jury.

38:48I cannot do that on Thinovite.

38:51It's not Thinovite anymore, Rumpel.

38:53It's a nourishing low-calorie dark soup.

38:56And I'm only giving it to you

38:57because I'm concerned about your health.

38:59Well, couldn't you be a little less concerned

39:01and give me another, give me a cutlet?

39:14Oh, Bernard.

39:16Ah, good heavens, yes, of course.

39:18How stupid of me, I should have guessed.

39:21Well, I mean,

39:22I should have known all along, really.

39:26No, no, we don't have to.

39:28No accused person can be forced into the witness box.

39:32So why should I put Lady Doe into it?

39:35Just so old Marcus Griffin can have a go at her?

39:38No, no, no.

39:46There's another cogent reason why we should be here.

39:50There's another cogent reason

39:52why we should go straight to final speeches.

39:54What's that?

39:55We might finish the case before Bollard gets out of bed.

39:59I shall say to the jury,

40:01members of the jury,

40:03Lady Perdita Derwent has been accused

40:06of the monstrous crime of murdering a husband she loved.

40:11She's fully entitled to say,

40:13as you or I would be were we accused,

40:15to say to this bumbling prosecution,

40:19all right, prove it,

40:20but don't expect any help from me in your unsavoury business.

40:24And at the end of the day, to say to you now

40:27that nothing, nothing at all has been proved

40:31beyond reasonable doubt.

40:35A famous painter who loved his art

40:38finds through increasing illness that he can paint no longer.

40:43Can't you understand, can't we all understand

40:46his decision to take his own life?

40:50Nurse Gregson leaves her bag in the hall.

40:54Sir Daniel Derwent leaves the studio

40:57for just long enough to take from it the ampoules of diamorphine.

41:02Nurse Gregson tells us he didn't like needles.

41:05Members of the jury, very few of us do,

41:07but if we are desperate enough,

41:10we can all use them.

41:13So what remains of this pathetic prosecution?

41:18Only the evidence of what Helen Derwent says she found.

41:23Why did she, cold and calculating as she is,

41:27go up to her stepmother's room on that dreadful morning

41:30after her father's death?

41:31Was it to find evidence or was it to plant it?

41:35Did she lie when she says she found these exhibits

41:38in her stepmother's room in order to feed her malice

41:42and to satisfy her greed for money?

41:46Members of the jury, I suggest to you

41:48that you would not convict in a case of unrenewed dog license

41:54on the evidence of Helen Derwent.

42:01She will get off, won't she?

42:05I suppose you think that anyone should get off.

42:08I mean, anyone that killed him.

42:11As a member of the Across the River Society,

42:14you are a member, aren't you?

42:15And it was your pamphlet.

42:18He couldn't paint anymore.

42:20He wouldn't want to live if he couldn't paint.

42:24Are you sure?

42:26Oh, absolutely positive.

42:30It was for the best.

42:35Individual omelettes?

42:36What?

42:37You cooked each of you an individual omelette that night

42:40and Mulligatawny soup.

42:41Well, I suppose that would disguise any flavor of diamorphine.

42:46I know you don't like epidermics.

42:48What are you trying to say, Mr. Rumple?

42:50Oh, nothing very complicated,

42:52only that you took those ampoules from Nurse Gregson's bag.

42:55You knew exactly what they looked like

42:57and you got their contents into your son's food.

43:01Then Helen found them and planted them.

43:06But what I'd like to know is this.

43:08There's something you don't know.

43:10Did you discuss this sudden decision

43:13to take your son's life with him at all?

43:16What were his views on the subject?

43:18There was no need for any discussion.

43:21A mother knows, Mr. Rumple.

43:24A mother always knows.

43:29Will you please answer my first question, yes or no?

43:32Have you reached a verdict on which you are all agreed?

43:36Yes, my lord.

43:38Do you find Perdita May Derwent guilty or not guilty of murder?

43:44Not guilty, my lord.

43:46That is the verdict of you all.

43:49My lord, might my client be discharged?

43:52Yes, sir.

43:54Sorry you were away from us so long.

43:57Silence in court.

43:59Be upstanding. This court is now adjourned.

44:02God save the Queen.

44:08Lady Derwent, I'm so very glad we've managed to pull it off for you.

44:12It's a wonderful victory for Sam, isn't it, Mr. Rumple?

44:15Considering he was away so much of the time.

44:17You know, Rumple, Matron was a ministering angel to me.

44:20She practically camped out in the hospital.

44:22In fact, she wouldn't let me come back here

44:24until she was quite sure I was out of danger.

44:27We should all be grateful for that.

44:29Goodbye, Lady Derwent.

44:31Mr. Rumple, how can I thank you?

44:33Come on, Miss Brobert, I dare say I can manage another coffee.

44:40Hi.

44:41Well, I met your Claude Erskine-Brown.

44:44Good. He's going to move your admission at the chambers meetings.

44:47That's fine, but...

44:49But?

44:50Well, is there anything strange about Erskine-Brown?

44:53Strange?

44:54At our meetings, he said one or two things

44:56that seemed a little... strange.

44:58Strange?

44:59Strange.

45:00At our meetings, he said one or two things

45:02that seemed a little... well, strange.

45:05I mean, I haven't the slightest prejudice against blokes like that,

45:08but... well, tell me quite honestly, Liz.

45:11You don't think he fancies me?

45:13I don't think it's you he's after.

45:16We don't really need anyone else to share our work.

45:19I speak as a man with daughters.

45:21Daughters.

45:22Daughters.

45:23I just think it would be jolly bad

45:25if this chamber's got the reputation for any sort of discrimination.

45:28I'm with you there, Claude. Entirely with you.

45:30Which is why I'm particularly keen on the admission of young David... Dave.

45:35He prefers the style Dave Inchcape.

45:38Is Inchcape black?

45:39No, Uncle Tom, Dave is not black.

45:42Oh, pity.

45:43They had a little black chap in old fatted Jackson's chambers

45:46let him in after a good deal of soul-searching.

45:49Afterwards, he went off and became

45:51Prime Minister of Limpopoland or whatever.

45:54Made old fatted Lord Chief Justice.

45:57Other fellows in chambers got

45:59Attorney General and all sorts of rich pickings.

46:03Would you like to go to Limpopoland, Horace?

46:05Oh, anyway, Uncle Tom, as long as there aren't any chambers meeting.

46:08As I say, I've met Dave and he has been extremely frank with me.

46:12Out of the closet, as we would say.

46:14Out of what closet?

46:15Oh, never mind, Uncle Tom.

46:17Is this black chap in the closet?

46:18I really wouldn't worry about it, if I were you.

46:20There should be no problem, accommodation-wise,

46:22if Liz Probert would be so kind as to share a room with Dave.

46:26Is that all right, Probert?

46:28I think I might be so kind.

46:30Oh, good. That's settled, then.

46:32Now, I have an announcement to make

46:35of a purely private and personal nature.

46:38You will all know Mrs. Marguerite Plumstead,

46:42matron down at the Old Bailey.

46:45Respected and, may I say, loved by so many bachelors.

46:49Barristers.

46:50Yes, a formidable lady.

46:52Yes.

46:53Well, during my recent indisposition,

46:56a matron, or matey, as I shall always think of her,

47:01was a ministering angel to me.

47:03She was at my bedside when I stay in hospital.

47:07She saw me through my convalescence.

47:09We have been thrown together as a result of my accident.

47:13I am now happy to tell you

47:15that I shall no longer be living a bachelor existence

47:18in Waltham Cross.

47:20Mrs. Plumstead has...

47:23consented to become my wife.

47:34Have you...

47:36Have you consulted Mr. Plumstead about this at all?

47:41No.

47:42No, Mr. Plumstead, after long service

47:45with the Department of the Environment,

47:47has, I regret to say, passed over.

47:50Ah, gone across the river, has he?

47:52Precisely, yes.

47:53Of course, you will all be invited to the celebrations

47:56with your wives and...

47:57In the case of Dave Inchcape, no doubt.

48:00Live-in companions.

48:02Good luck.

48:18I never thought Sam Ballard would have taken Sharon to mating.

48:24Mrs. Rumpel, Mrs. Rumpel,

48:26won't you have just a tiny slice of cake,

48:29as it's such a special occasion?

48:31Well, of course I will. Why ever not?

48:33Oh, I thought you might be watching that naughty tummy.

48:36Like your husband.

48:38Rumpel and I are both perfectly fit, thank you, Maitre.

48:41Oh, I know.

48:42Sam says your husband was such a help to him in the big murder.

48:45I am so glad old Rumpel can still lend a hand

48:49as a junior barrister.

48:51Old Rumpel, as you call him,

48:53seems to have done the big murder largely on his own.

48:56As, indeed, he did the Penge bungalow murders.

48:58You must have heard of that case.

49:00Yes, I have.

49:01You mentioned how I owned you.

49:03There's so much to learn about the law.

49:14Mr. Rumpel.

49:15Yes?

49:16It's happened.

49:17What?

49:18My wife.

49:19Her turn has come.

49:20She's no longer just a chair.

49:22Oh, well, what now?

49:24Oh, my year has begun.

49:26I am now the Lady Mayoress of Bexley.

49:29Oh, Henry, my heart bleeds for you.

49:32I was being extremely brave about it.

49:34Ah, Rumpel.

49:36Terribly sad, isn't it?

49:38No, I don't know.

49:39If you want to live forever,

49:40I don't suppose you've got any alternative but to marry Maitre.

49:43No, no, no, sad about Dr. McAndrew.

49:45He was your doctor, too, wasn't he?

49:47Yes, why, what's up?

49:48Dropped dead.

49:49What?

49:50He must have been considerably younger than you.

49:53Oh, poor Dr. McAndrew.

49:55Oh, I am sorry.

49:58How sad.

50:06I say, Rumpel, look over there.

50:09Yes, where?

50:10Just look.

50:11I've been greatly deceived.

50:13The fellow's a raving heterosexual.

50:18Are you sure you don't mind sharing a room with me?

50:21I think so.

50:23Excuse me.

50:24Thank you.

50:25Hold it.

50:26Ketchup-inch cream.

50:27Remarkably fair skin for an African prime minister.

50:31Do you think we've been led up the garden?

50:33Wouldn't be a tall surprise, Dr. Tom.

50:42That matron gave me the smallest sliver of his bottle.

50:46I could hardly see it on my plate.

50:48Never mind, Hilda.

50:50Fill up on Ballard's bubbly.

50:56Silence in court.

51:02It's my pleasure to wish the happy couple health.

51:05Not too much health, old love.

51:07What do you say, Rumpel?

51:09Just enough to get you one's feet in court, Hilda.

51:12Or raise a glass to the lips.

51:14It's the quality of life that counts, Hilda.

51:16The quality of life.

51:18And to hell with Innovaio.

51:21As Ballard's best man,

51:23and as one who has practiced many years in the courts of matrimony,

51:28I can only advise my learned leader to avoid a fight,

51:32plead guilty on all possible occasions,

51:35and rely on a moving speech in mitigation.

51:39As we see him off to what I'm sure will be the sentence for life.

51:44Oh, really?

51:46I think that could have been better put.

51:48We know that it will be served under humane conditions,

51:51in an open prison,

51:53and with the best possible medical attempt.

51:56Now, will you all raise your glasses to Sam Ballard

52:00and his lovely bride,

52:02that favorite Orwellian character Marguerite,

52:04known to us all affectionately as Matey.

52:08The toast.

52:10The toast.

52:13The toast.

52:15The Bride and Groom.

52:17The Bride and Groom!

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